Date: Sat, 9 Jun 2001 00:15:35 EDT
From: Dakotajoe2000@cs.com
Subject: Hanging By A Moment, chapter five.

	This story is copyrighted and the sole possession of the author.
No duplication is permitted without the express written consent of the
author.  It will contain graphic description of consensual male to male sex
and may be offensive to some.  If this is not something you wish to read,
please look elsewhere.  Certain events in the story are based loosely on
real events so the names of the characters, with the exception of mine,
have been changed to reflect that.  Hanging By A Moment is the title of a
song by Lifehouse. Constructive email can be sent to Dakotajoe2000@cs.com

Hanging By A Moment, chapter five

	Nick sat and blankly stared at the computer in front of him, not
sure where he should go.  He needed desperately to balance his checkbook,
it hadn't been done in nearly six months although he always knew exactly
how much money was in the account.  That would take a good chunk of the
afternoon, he thought, so he bypassed it.  He could log on and check his
mail for the fourth time that day, but anytime he did that he'd just waste
it checking out stats on ESPN.com that he already knew anyway.  He took
another swig of the "wild" pink lemonade that sat in front of him.  He
chuckled to himself and wondered what made it so wild.  His fingers did
some light clicking on the keyboard and the mouse and his file folder of
writing popped up onto the screen.  There was a new story that he had been
working on, a nightmare that he'd had several nights ago.  It frightened
him a little to even think about it.  He shuttered a bit and then clicked
on the folder that was yet unnamed.  There were several times he had
highlighted the folder in an effort to change its physical makeup, and yet
it remained titled "loose work."  He knew full well that it was more than
loose work but his gut, or maybe just nerves would not allow him to name
the file after the man he loved and so desperately longed to be with.
Another swig of his fashionable malt flavored beverage and he glanced out
the window onto the street below.

************************************************************************

	Jason sat on the soft sands of Cannon Beach for most of the
afternoon.  There were lots of people out and about this afternoon.  This
was the first warm day of spring and life was buzzing about, welcoming back
the warm weather.  It had been five months to the day since he had last
called Nick on the phone.  It felt odd that somehow he was close even
though there was no communication.  Well, almost no communication.  Nick
had been writing him brief emails off and on over the last three months,
but he never responded.  As time went by, the emails became shorter and
shorter as could be expected with no response and he figured it was just a
matter of time before they stopped all together.  Deep down he hoped that
day would never come.
	Time had done some unusual things.  Jason spent the first three
days of the brand new year at the beach.  Andrea had done some serious
fretting on his behalf and at one point was actually sitting in her car
with the engine running ready to go and bring him back to Seattle.  She
thought better of it.  If he really was dealing with this in some manner,
her sudden and possibly unwelcome appearance could do serious damage to his
psyche.  He pulled himself together and went back to Seattle to the warm
welcome of his friends.
	His job marched on through January and winter began its long fade.
February brought its share of cold days, that was for sure, but they never
seemed to be as bad as the dreary overcast days of January.  He spent some
time at the local clubs in the early part of the month, but he never found
himself into the scene and stopped going.  He got more into his job as the
month progressed and Andrea felt it was time again to say something.
	"Sweetie, you've not so much as gone out now in four months."
	"What are you talking about?  I was out, like, two weeks ago."
She leaned over the couch where Jason was sitting reading an outdated issue
of Entertainment Weekly.  She tousled his hair.
	"You're not going to win this one," he hissed over the top of the
cover.
	"Oh Jay, you're so silly." "Jay?  When did this start?"  Jason
shook his head to one side and scratched at something crawling on his
face--before realizing it was Andrea's finger.  He promptly swatted it
away.
	"You know, I don't consider walking a block to the local sports bar
getting out.  They don't serve the kind of drinks you like and for crying
out loud Jason, they show baseball on the televisions there."
	Astutely Jason answered, "You're silly.  It's February.  We're in
the middle of hockey and basketball season."
	"I don't care if they are showing reruns of Secretariat's
historical win or whatever you deem to be important, Jason, did you meet
any nice guys while you were there?"
	"Of course not....most of those guys in there are transplanted
mid-Western hicks." Andrea giggled slightly, hoping not to be heard, but
that wasn't the case.
	"Yeah, I know, Nick is from Ohio.  He isn't a mid-Western hick
though." "Oh, no, of course not.  He's one of them ejumakated ones.  His
pappy had to sell the trailer, but by golly, they got it done."
	"Whatever."
	"Listen, I'm going out for a while.  Try not to get yourself into
too much trouble taking up space on the couch, okay?"
	There was no response from Jason as she stepped out the door.  He
lay there quietly thinking about the beach, and expressly Nick as he
drifted off to sleep.

************************************************************************

	Chris called shortly after ten in the morning.  I'm always sitting
in front of the computer this time of day and he knew it was as good a time
as any to catch me.
	"Hey Champ. Whatch'a up to on this fine May morning?"
	I smiled upon recognizing the friendly voice on the other end of
the line.
	"Oh, just packing."
	"Packing?!  You're moving aren't you?  You've finally done it."
	"No, silly.  I'm taking a road trip.  I got two days off of work
and I'm coupling it with my weekend to make something out of it."
	"So.  Where are ya' going?"
	"You'd like to know, wouldn't you?"  I chuckled.  "I don't really
want anyone to know where I am this weekend.  Mom knows how to reach me if
there is an emergency and that is all that should be needed."
	"Oh.  Okay then.  Have fun and be careful, kay?"
	"Yeah, you betcha."
	Half an hour later, I was in my car and headed north, towards
Michigan.  I drove for eight or nine hours it seemed, and ended up sleeping
in a sleepy little lakeside town called Manistee.  The next day's drive
seemed to be about as eventful, that is until sunset.  I didn't really
realize how far it was across the upper peninsula of Michigan and so I was
racing the clock and the sun to be in Duluth, Minnesota by dark.  It was a
battle I was sure to lose.  It was one of the most brilliant sunsets I had
seen in quite some time.  The last one that I recall being that pretty was
when I was at Cannon Beach.  I immediately thought of Jason.
	"Dammit, Nick, why do you do this to yourself?"
	I was practically screaming at the road.  The steering wheel got a
nice beating, but I'm pretty sure that it was used to it at this point.  I
was either ecstatic or bumming, but either way, the steering wheel always
got it.  The tears started flowing.  I was alone on the highway so I didn't
feel bad about speeding.  If there were any cops out here this time of
evening, they would have a hard time catching me.  I flew.
	Eighty.
	Eighty-two.
	Eighty-five.
	Eighty-nine.
	Ninety.
	Ninety-one......and then I felt it.

************************************************************************
	Jason spent most of February getting his bearings together.  He met
some nice people at a few clubs he went to with Andrea, but no one that was
like Nick.  There were some people online that sounded cool, but no one
that he felt comfortable meeting.  March came and went like a storm.  April
was a big tax headache and he spent a lot of time out of Seattle, down at
the beach he'd come to love so well.  He understood why Nick had wanted to
come here.
	May rolled around and things began to change for Jason.  There was
a young gentleman named Stuart that had been hanging around quite a bit
lately.  He and Andrea were friends and they even had a couple of afternoon
classes together.  Stuart would spend the evening studying with Andrea and
then he would crash on the couch and watch the news with both of them
before heading out for the night.  As the days lengthened, the gap on the
couch between the two boys narrowed.  Jason, being the shy one would always
blush whenever Stuart made some kind of comment about the news and then
looked his way.  It was happening more often.
	The weekend before Memorial Day rolled up so fast that Jason didn't
know what hit him.  He always considered this the first weekend of summer,
no matter what those "in the know" had to say about it.  He wanted to go to
Cannon Beach.  Stuart would be coming along this time too.  They spent most
of the afternoon just sitting in the sand watching the waves come in.  They
talked about anything and everything.  Clouds began to roll in about three
in the afternoon and it got chilly for being in just short sleeves, so they
headed back to the hotel.
	Dinner was casual, with more conversation and they were definitely
enjoying each other's company.  With two defeated dinner plates in front of
them, the boys walked back to the room.  Stuart leaned against the door and
looked at Jason.
	"Hey guy, what's wrong?" Jason asked from across the room.  He was
unlacing his shoes.
	"Oh, nothing I guess."
	Off came the socks as he asked again.
	"C'mon bud, what's wrong."
	Stuart shuffled his feet a bit and just looked at Jason.  Jay
slipped his sandals on and walked over to the door where Stuart had his
head hung, almost limp.  He was about to pull his chin up with a finger
when Stuart slammed him against the door and planted a deep kiss on him.
There was tongue involved.  The inevitable, over-used movie line followed.
	"As if!  I can't believe you just pulled that shit on me.  Man,
that's jacked up."
	Jason was fuming and walked back across the room.  He was hoping
the window would just open up and swallow him whole into the ocean.
	"Aww, c'mon man.  It's a romantic weekend together.  Isn't this why
I'm here, to get to know one another better?"
	"Yeah, I wanted to know you better, but I think I just got a taste
of what you're really like, no pun intended there ass-wipe.  I'm going for
a walk."
	The door slammed noisily behind him and he was halfway down the
hall before he realized he didn't have a room key.  No matter, he thought.
I don't want to be in there now anyway.  He found himself on the beach,
walking towards Haystack Rock.  There were sharp winds blowing in off the
ocean and the waves were approaching ten foot crests.  The tears began to
fall and Jason fell to his knees.  Almost as if in a prayer, he whispered.
	"Listen to me Nick, if you can.  I don't know where you are
tonight, but I miss you.  I am so sorry for missing the opportunities
you've given me.  I'd like another one if you'll give it to me."  Jason
coughed and braced from the wind before going on.  "The nights that we
talked online you shared your dreams with me.  I remember how much you
liked the sunset.  You told me about the night at Westport.  I'm sorry
there is no sunset tonight, but this is my dream and I hope you can take
strength in it.  I've always wanted to walk in the driving rain, holding
your hand.  I just never knew it would be tonight, here at Cannon Beach.

************************************************************************

After a long hiatus, for which I'm deeply sorry, here is chapter five.
Intense?  Let me know....I welcome your comments.  Dakotajoe2000@cs.com

Six may be along soon....although I need to think of where I want to take it.
Writing for you, Jason.
Nick