Date: Thu, 26 Jul 2001 03:17:57 EDT
From: H
Subject: "Heart Desires" - chapter 14

This story contains material of homosexual acts and behavior. If you know
this will offend you, please locate the back button immediately. If you are
under age or have no rights being here in the first place, then I repeat,
please leave.

Hey guys, thanks for keeping up with the story. This is part of the
original draft for part 14. I had to rewrite and reconstruct a lot of it
after my computer went a little crazy and erased most of the data on the
disk I had it saved on. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it just the same.

Chapter 14

Adam and I just stood there, staring at each other. I tried to open my
mouth to say something, but I couldn't muster a word. First of all, I was
so stunned to see Adam still had the desire to talk to me, considering what
went down last night. Nevertheless, I was happy for this
opportunity. Finally, he broke the silence...

"You know I'm still upset with you." Said Adam, with a suppressed smile.

"I know..." I tried, as I hung my head.

"Man, all this shit between you and Bruce is totally weird. I thought about
this all night and this morning, and you know what was so strange?" Adam
questioned, rhetorically. "I didn't believe a word Bruce was saying until
you admit to me that he wasn't lying."

"But he is lying, Adam." I told him. "I mean, everything I told you that
happen between Bruce and I is all that happened. We never fucked at all,
you have to believe me."

"Dude, I'm still trying to get over my best friend admitting to me that he
is gay." Adam said, in an unbelieving voice. "And here I was scared
shitless to tell Bruce that I might be gay, what a life. That goes to show
you, that people are not whom they sometimes portray."

"I guess that includes me too?" I inquired.

"I didn't say that, you did." Adam quickly responded. "If you're wondering
if my perception of you have changed, don't, because I learn a long time
ago not to judge a person's character by the mistakes they make."

"So why are you still upset with me?" I questioned.

"Because you lied to me so calmly." Said Adam. "One thing you'll learn
about me is that I don't like when a person is untruthful and dishonest
with me if we are considered to be friends."

"I totally regret how this situation turned out. I never meant to hurt you,
and this may sound very unoriginal, but I'm so sorry, Adam, I really am." I
said, looking into his eyes. "Gosh, I'm always hurting the people around
me, and I don't see it until it's too late."

I was starting to see my own faults come to life as I deal with different
situations, but it was impossible to go back and correct all my
mistakes. Thank goodness for a friend like Eric in my life, and I know very
soon, I would have to make a decision to be with him or not. One thing was
keeping me indecisive and that was Adam. I don't even understand what it is
that attracts me to him so much. I thought it was his physical appearance,
but his inner beauty and strength have made me desire him on a whole new
level.

"Are you listening to me?" Adam asked, touching me on my shoulder. "Don't
feel so negative about your life. I mean all of us have faults and do
things we shouldn't do, it's just that some of us don't get catch."

"Oh really!" I chuckled. "So I'm guessing you have some skeletons in your
closet?"

"Nah, I purposely said that to see if you were paying attention to me."
Adam said, grinning.

"Yeah right!" I jested.

"But seriously, life is too short and that's why I decide to forgive you so
quickly." Adam said, with a smile.

"You're so amazing, man. I don't think I could be that forgiving." I told
him. "I'm guessing you forgave Bruce too?"

"Sure, why not." Adam said, smiling. "It's a relief to know he would be
more understanding about me telling him I may have an interest in guys."

I wondered how serious Adam was with that last statement he made, because
if he was, that means Bruce would want him sexually, and that would open up
a whole new chapter. Honestly, I was happy that Adam really didn't take
things so hard. I told you all, that this guy was really something.

"So you're really thinking about telling Bruce that you may have an
interest in guys?"

"Maybe." Adam said, without conviction.

"You know, you never answer my question." Said I.

"And what question was that?" Adam inquired.

"Did you believed me when I told you that Bruce and I never fucked."

"Taylor, I've forgiven you both for lying to me, but as far as Bruce and
you fucking or not, doesn't concerns, because you and I don't have a
relationship."

"But do you still trust me?" I questioned.

"Taylor, I see that you're sincere, but let's take it one day at a time."
Said Adam, smiling.

I was a bit hurt to hear Adam say that we didn't have a relationship, but I
understood the point he made. He was a great guy regardless. We were
standing in the parking lot for the past 30 minutes and I was really
famished, so I suggested we grab a bite to eat. I left my SUV parked at the
apartment and decided to ride along with Adam in his Mustang. I knew in the
back of my mind that I had to go back home to continue with my studies, so
I timed myself not stay out for more than two hours. As we drove to the
restaurant we have yet to decide on, I thought about why Adam doesn't care
about whether or not Bruce and I had sex. Maybe he did care and wasn't man
enough to show his true feelings. Why else would he walk away like he did
last night? I don't think he just walked away because Bruce and I lied to
him, it was more than that.

20 minutes later, we pulled up to this Chinese Restaurant and I found out
that Chinese food was Adam's favorite. I was like wow because he
immediately reminded of Sam, a dear friend who now resides in
Connecticut. Come to think of it, I really miss Sam, one of these days I'm
going to catch a flight to Connecticut and surprise him. Anyway, when we
walked inside the restaurant, a young, handsome, Irish-looking guy greeted
us at the door and led us to a booth situated near the back, which was
perfect for an engaged conversation.

As we sat, this guy introduced himself as Justin and placed a menu directly
in front of us. Now I noticed that Justin was staring at Adam more than the
usual stare, and I know Adam probably thought the guy was being friendly,
but I knew better. Who came blame him though? Adam was incredibly
good-looking with a body to die for. After Justin left with our order, I
decided to play a little psychological game with Adam...

"Adam, that Justin guy was checking you out." I said, with a grin.

"Oh come of it, Taylor." Adam said, blushing. "Not because you're gay, you
must think all men are like you?"

"Just answer this, is he hot?" I asked, mischievously.

"Taylor, please." Adam shouted above a whisper. "You're making me
uncomfortable."

"You're not use to people telling you that you're good-looking." I asked
him.

"I am, but the comments usually came from chicks." Said Adam. "Forgive me
for being a bit reclusive, I'm just not use to this."

"No need to apologize, I was being mischievous." I said, with a smile.

Before we were through with our conversation, Justin came back with our
food and just as I thought, Justin stared at Adam again, only this time it
was much obvious than the first time. Adam didn't look at him at
all. Instead, he looked at me the entire time the Justin was there. I
chuckled under my breath to see how cute Adam looked when he was
nervous. When Justin left, Adam asked me a question that I didn't expect.

"Did he look at me this time?" Adam asked, coyly.

"He did more than that, he nearly touched you with his eyeballs." I jested.

"Come on, Taylor, don't make fun." Adam said, in a slightly frustrated
voice. "I can't believe I'm acting this way. Do you think I'm acting
stupid?

"Not at all, As a matter of fact, I think your shyness have a way of making
you look cute." I told him.

"This is so weird..."

"But it feels good, right." I said, interrupting him.

"Dude, I don't know what I'm feeling." Said Adam.

"It's OK, no need to rush anything." I assured him.

"I know you're going to laugh, but I think I have butterflies in my
stomach, dude." Adam said, laughing. "The last time I felt this way was
when I met my ex-girl."

We were having a lot of fun and I didn't want the night to end and I
believed Adam wanted the same. I just hope he's still not having
butterflies in his stomach for the Irish-looking guy, because I'd be
incredibly jealous. I looked on my watch and it showed 8:12pm. The night
was still young and I figured I could steel an hour or two before I stroll
back home to study. So I came up with an idea, I didn't know if Adam was
ready for this, but I tried anyway. I convinced Adam to drive down to the
gay club I went to last night. Shit, that took like 10 minutes for me to
accomplish. I think Adam mostly resisted at first because he was shy and
fearful of taking such a step. But I promised him things would turn out
OK. We finally pulled up to the club, but I had another problem. I couldn't
get Adam out of the damn car.

"Adam, I promise I'll protect you from those guys squeezing your ass, if
that's what your worry about." I said, jokingly.

"You're not funny." Said Adam.

"I thought you wanted to see how us 'gay men' do the electric slide? You
can't see us do that from sitting down in that friggin car." I told him,
with a grin.

"Why don't you go on without me, and I'll wait for you until you get back."
Adam said, with a slight smile.

"Adam, if you don't get your ass out this car, I swear to you that I'll
strip naked right here, right now, right in front of you!" I playfully
threatened him.

"You wouldn't." He challenged.

"Try me." I dared him.

Adam still stubbornly sat inside his car, as I began to unbutton my
shirt. After my shirt was off, I started to loosen my pants and then slowly
pulled my zipper down. Adam watched me in disbelief and I was chuckling
inside my mind to see the expression on his face. As I was about to pull my
pants down over my ass, I heard Adam surrendered.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming!" Adam shouted. "Your're fucking crazy, you
know that?"

"You better believe it." I teased.

After I properly redressed myself, Adam and I went inside the club. The
music was so loud and captivating, that I immediately started tapping my
feet and moving my head. Adam just stood still, moving his eyes all over
the room. I saw the anticipation inside of his eyes as he watched
sculptured bodies gyrate their hips to the rhythm of the beat. I was here
at this club last night and it felt like I was here for the first time. The
atmosphere was so poignant that anything was liable to happen.

We were still standing near the door just watching the party go wild. I
wanted to join in with the party, but Adam was acting so shy. Without
warning I grabbed Adam's hand and dragged him right in the middle onto the
dancing floor. Tonight was Caribbean night at the club and this calypso
band was on stage playing some of the most diverse rhythms I ever
heard. That alone tripped me out. I knew Adam felt the energy that
generated from the crowd, because I noticed he wasn't standing still
anymore. I took the chance and started to shake extremely close to him,
just an inch away from his cock. He stared at me so strangely, but in a
lustful way. I stared him back, as I wind down to ground and back up.

My heart was racing, but it felt right. I wondered what Adam was
thinking. He seemed to be doing OK so far. Suddenly, I felt someone winding
on my ass, and pushing me into Adam. I spun around and my curiosity
vanished. It was Toby. I didn't mind it too much, but I was more concerned
with Adam. I just wondered if I was rushing him into something he wasn't
ready for. I didn't dance too long after that. Adam and I went to the bar
to take a break and Toby followed us.

"I thought I wasn't going to see you for another five months." Toby
shouted.

"I thought so too." I shouted back. "Blame it on spontaneity."

"I here that." He hollered. "Who's the catch?"

"Oh, Adam, this is Toby, Toby meet Adam." I said, introducing them to each
other.

"Nice to meet you." Toby said, grinning. "And believe me, it is really nice
to meet you.

"Same here." Adam said, smiling, as they shook hands.

Now I know when Toby was interested in one of my friends, he was not good
at hiding his actions or his expressions. I just hope he understands that
Adam is already taken.

"So where'd you find such a rarity in looks and charm?" Toby questioned,
with this stupid grin on his face.

"Adam is in my Psychology class." I told him, intentionally trying to avoid
going into details.

"Is he the guy you was telling me about?" Toby inquired?"

Toby was getting on my last friggin nerves. Why did he ask me that question
in front of Adam? Adam looked at me slightly bemused, which caused me to
smile sheepishly.

"No." I lied.

"No?" Toby questioned. "I'm guessing he's free, single and ready to
mingle."

"Toby, just chill, OK?" I told him.

I sensed that Adam was getting uncomfortable, so I discouraged Toby's
advances by telling him we had to leave. I know Toby was a bit upset, but
hey, I promised to help Adam through this crisis he's going through, and
second, Adam belongs to me. I know that sound selfish or obsessive, but I
worked to damn hard to get to this point.

We left the club scene and drove back to our apartment. A lot of things
happened that night that could have an impact on Adam's decision to accept
that he might be gay. Little was said, but I felt something subtly going on
between us. I wanted to hold his hand as we drove, but I feared his
reaction. I began to think about Eric and my heart immediately sadden,
because he doesn't deserve to be treated the way I'm treating him. Yet he
loves and cares for me so freaking much. Is it possible for a person to be
in love with two persons at the same time? I've asked myself this question
a million times, and I'm so confuse, that it's tearing me up inside.

Finally we pulled up to our apartment. I walked Adam to his door, but I
didn't leave immediately. I looked on my watch and it showed 11:22pm, which
was still great time to continue with my studies. I was a bit tired, but
I'll manage. We stood there outside Adam's door looking at each other. I
would stare longer, which made Adam blushed.

"Why are you doing that?" Adam questioned.

"What?" I inquired, suppressing a smile.

"Looking at me like." He said.

"Like what?" I questioned.

"I don't know." He shied away.

"Is it making you uncomfortable?" I asked him.

"Not really, it's different with you." He told me.

"How?"

"I can't explain it, man, it's just different." He told me.

Man, I wanted to kiss Adam so bad, but I was scared to do it. I kissed him
before, why was it hard me to do it again? There was an awkward silence
between us for about 30 seconds. I don't think it was because we didn't
have anything else to say, but how to say what we felt was more of a
challenge. Adam broke the silence...

"Dude, I really had fun tonight." He said, with this warm smile.

"I know right." I agreed. "It was a wild evening."

"You could say that again." He said, laughing. "Dude, were you really going
to strip naked before me?"

"I was hoping that you surrendered, because if you hadn't, I woulda' been
in some hot shit!" I told him, laughing.

We both were laughing so hard now and I felt so good to be spending this
time Adam. Suddenly, the door cracked open and Bruce stuck his head out. I
was surprise to see how calm he was.

"My goodness, I guess you two forget that we have sleeping neighbors."
Bruce said, shaking his head.

"Come on, Bruce, you didn't come out here to say that, did you?" Adam
questioned, jokingly.

"Whatever, Adam." Bruce retorted. "Congratulations, Taylor, you finally won
Adam's heart."

"Bruce, I know you probably won't believe me, but I would not be happy if I
come between you and Adam's friendship." I said, sincerely.

"Bullshit!" Bruce exclaimed.

"Bruce, why don't you stop acting this way, it's not healthy." Adam said to
him.

"I'm so appalled that you believe Taylor over me." Bruce said, rather
sadly. "I don't have to take this, I'm going back to Orlando, Adam."

"What!" Adam exulted. "Dude, you have no reason to feel jealous or left
out. You know that I love you and would do anything for you, anything. I
can't believe what you just told me, don't you still love me?"

"You know I do." Bruce said. "That's why I can't stay and watch Taylor take
advantage of you. I've tried to tell you over and over what type of person
Taylor is, but you don't listen to me anymore."

"Of course I still listen to you." Adam said, touching Bruce on his
shoulder. "But friend, you're not right this time, I consider Taylor to be
good friend. Please, Bruce, give Taylor another chance."

"You're too forgiving, Adam." Bruce told him. "I just hope it won't lead
you into a web of regrets."

"I'm sorry that I don't see Taylor the way that you see him, Bruce." Adam
said to his friend. "Anyway, I want to talk to you about something, maybe
you'll want to stay after I talk you."

"I can't guarantee you anything, Adam." Bruce said, as he turned and walked
inside.

I was feeling really bad for Bruce now, but most of this was his fault. His
plan to destroy the friendship between Adam and I backfired and now he
can't deal with failure. Nevertheless, I think Bruce has a good heart and I
can't hate the guy if he wants to protect his best friend from something or
someone he thinks will be bad for him. Not that I was bad for Adam, I was
just saying, you know?

After Bruce left, Adam and I were alone again staring at each other. We
couldn't part each other that night. Something was keeping us from
separating and I had a feeling what it was. I suggested to Adam to come
back to my apartment and we'll talk there, he agreed. When we got inside my
apartment, Adam followed me to my den and sat next to me on that famous
sofa, that Eric and I had so frequently fucked on.

"Dude, tonight was so different for me." Adam started.

"I know it was." I said, wanting him to continue.

"I mean, the incident with the waiter was so crazy." He said to me. "When
you told me that the guy was staring at me, and I began to think about what
you said, man, I got this incredible feeling down in my stomach and I
couldn't believe I got a hard-on after that."

"You got a hard-on?" I asked shockingly.

"I know right?" He exulted. "It's wild, man! All these weird feelings just
came rushing at me all at once."

"So, you were OK at the club then?" I inquired.

"Yes, I was more than OK." He told me. "Part of the reason why I didn't
want to go was because of that experience at the restaurant. I was afraid
to be in a room filled with just guys. It was fun, better than I expected
it to be."

As I listened to Adam, I couldn't believe how open he was about himself
now. Maybe taking him to the club was a good idea after all.

"So you saw any guys you're interested in?" I asked, jokingly.

"Just one." He said, seriously.

"Really?" I asked, now being serious myself.

"Yes." He said.

"Do I know this person?" I questioned.

"Yes, you know him." He said, confidently.

"How do you know that I know this person?" I asked him.

After I asked Adam that question, he remained quiet for a minute or so
before he answered me.

"Because it's you, Taylor." He said, looking into my eyes.

Right at that moment, I think I stopped breathing for a couple of
seconds. You guys, who've been reading my story, know how bad I wanted to
hear those words from Adam's lips. I had a feeling that Adam may like me,
but I still wasn't sure. He even said to me one time that he liked me, but
I always thought it was more platonic than sexual. My emotions were all
over the place. I didn't know what to do. Tears just rolled down my cheeks,
as I stared at Adam.

"Why are you crying?" Adam asked, in a concerned voice.

"It's so fucking unbelievable." I said, tearfully.

"Come on, Taylor, you knew that I enjoyed being around you." He told
me. "You helped me in so many ways to deal with my insecurities. I'm still
not 100% sure of what I'm doing, but it feels right."

"Oh, man, I loved you from the first time you stepped of that elevator." I
told him, wiping my tears away. "I mean, I was mesmerized by your presence
and from that day my life was never the same."

"I didn't know." He said, looking at me with such compassion. "I even kid
around about it one time, when I assumed you had the hots for me or
something. I'm sorry I did that, Taylor."

"Don't apologize, please." I told him quickly. "I'm just so emotional right
now. This rarely happens to a gay guy like me."

"What do you mean?" He inquired.

"I mean, it's near impossible sometimes for a straight guy to fall for a
gay guy who's in love with him." I told him. "And most of the time, the
straight guy don't know that this gay guy is interested in him. You prove
me wrong tonight and I just don't know what to do with myself."

The tears kept falling and I noticed Adam was taken back by all of this,
but he dealt with it so well. I know it concerned him to see me so all
emotional, but I also knew he understood. Adam took my hands and drew me
near him even closer than we were already. I was surprise to see Adam's
alacrity, considering his struggle with his awareness that he might be gay.

We stared into each other's eyes for the longest, then like magnet, our
lips came together and we kissed softly. I held onto Adam's strong arms, as
our kissing became intense. I still couldn't believe my luck. I was kissing
this incredibly fine guy, with a pulchritudinous body. Adam was a
natural. Our hands started to move about and massaged each other all
over. One place my hand fell on was on Adam's huge bulge. My goodness, that
was the hardest cock I ever felt through a pants. I just anticipated the
feeling of Adam's hard cock deep within me. We kissed with so much passion
that I had to stop to catch my breath.

"You want to fuck me?" I asked him softly, in a voice filled with lust and
desire.

"You want me to?" He inquired softly.

"Yes, you can have me in any position you want." I lustfully told him.

"Do you have condoms?" He softly inquired.

"Yes, they're upstairs." I told him.

With that, I led Adam upstairs to my bedroom...

To be continued...


The comments on the story were great and very encouraging. I honestly never
expected to continue the story so far, considering this was my first
attempt to write something like this. Huge thanks to every person who
emailed me and let me know about their thoughts. I truly appreciate
them. But like every good story must come to an end, the memoirs or "Heart
desires" has one chapter left before it comes to its final resting-place,
chapter 15. Stay tuned for the finality.