Date: Sat, 4 Aug 2001 01:40:11 EDT From: H Subject: Heart Desires" - chapter 15 This story contains material of homosexual acts and behavior. If you know this will offend you, please locate the back button immediately. If you are under age or have no rights being here in the first place, then I repeat, please leave. Now on with the story... Hello, welcome to the final chapter of "Heart desires". So sit back and relax, because I'm about to take you on a journey that will leave you thinking. Chapter 15 As Adam held my hand and followed me to my bedroom, I thought about how much my luck had changed. I was moved beyond measure and I just couldn't believe the man I dreamt about every night wanted me almost as much, as I wanted him. I wanted this night to be special for both Adam and I. I realized this was Adam's first time being with a guy, so I wanted to make sure he was ready to take such a step, because sex can have a huge impact on a platonic friendship. Surprisingly, Adam somewhat seemed calm in the midst of everything that was going on, but I on the other hand was so emotional. "Are you sure this is what you want?" I asked Adam, as I sat on the bed next to him. "Yes." He started, softly. He took my hand and held it firmly. "Taylor, I think I wanted you before I realized it. I know I've said this before, but I love being around you and talking to you. Honestly, I didn't know why I felt so comfortable bringing my problems to you, maybe because it seemed to me that you'd understand. I'm sure you sensed this, but I was confuse and still am about a lot of stuff. Just being here, next to you, feels right and I'm willing to be open-minded with my sexuality." "Oh man, your words are like music to my ears." I told him. "Adam, you'll never know the depth of my feelings for you." "Is that a good or bad thing." He questioned. "I don't know." I replied. "It's hard to explain. I don't know which road our friendship will take after tonight, and I don't want to pretend like things never change. I'm afraid of pain." "You think this is a one night stand for me?" Adam asked, looking me into my eyes seriously. "I'm sorry, please forgive me if I sounded that way. I know this is new for you and I'm acting like an ass." I said, apologetically. "Don't say that about yourself. I understand where you're coming from." Said Adam. "I'm frighten about my future too, but let us just worry about one day at a time, like tonight..." With that, Adam leaned over and French kissed me. My whole body quivered in response to that kiss. As our lips were locked together in passion, something strange happened to me. I heard Eric's voice echoed in my right ear. I heard him say, "Taylor, I love you." It was so clear and so plain that I swear Eric was in the room with us. I pitched and unconsciously broke away from kissing Adam. His face immediately showed signs of confusion. "What is it?" Adam inquired, sorely. "It's nothing." I quickly responded, still a little shaken up. I could tell Adam didn't believe me. As a matter of fact I couldn't believe what I just heard. I was stunned and tried to recover desperately, so I wouldn't upset Adam. Was I going crazy, or was Eric hiding somewhere in my bedroom? If Eric were hiding in my room, then Adam would have heard when Eric told me he loved me. I knew I heard Eric's voice, but I didn't want to believe it. This shit was scaring me by the minute. "Taylor, you look like you've just seen a ghost or something." Said Adam, looking very bemused. "Why did you pull away from me like that?" "I, I didn't mean to." I tried. "I guess I'm worried about you." "You're worried about me?" He inquired. "I've told you I'm OK with making out with you tonight. But that's not what you're really worry about huh?" "What do you mean?" I asked, with my attention being divided. "You're still worried that I won't want you after tonight." Adam assumed. "Taylor, what can I do to assure you I won't abandon our friendship, no matter what happen." "I believe you won't abandon me." I told him quickly, as I pulled him towards me and kissed him. I tried to regain the sexual energy that had sparked between Adam and I, but it was hard, considering I just heard Eric's voice echoed in my ear. Finally, after a lot of passionate kissing and severe foreplay, we began to pick up momentum and things started to get sexually charged up again. Things were getting so intense, that we started to strip away our clothing without hesitation. Adam's eyes showed show much lust inside of them. I liked it, because I never saw him like this and I knew it wouldn't be long before I see him in action. Seeing him like this, made me grew hornier than I already was. My goodness, we were getting out of control by the minute. Now standing bald naked facing each other, I pushed Adam down on the bed and climbed on top of him. His body was giving off so much heat, that I was totally mesmerized by the feel of his skin. Adam had a smooth chest with a trail of hair on his stomach, leading to his crotch. Oh man, this guy had such a beautiful body. I wanted every inch of this guy that lied in my bed. I started sucking on his nipples, while I caressed and rubbed his hard meat simultaneously. Adam was moaning uncontrollably, and I was just so lost inside this sexual frenzy we were trapped in. I moved down slowly to his hard meat and engulfed the mushroomed shaped head, inside my mouth. Adam was average length, but he was extremely thick, no wonder his girlfriend (now ex) complained about his cock inside her ass. I wondered myself if I was ready to take such a thick cock. Adam's moans escalated as I sucked his cock with precision. I had a bit of a trouble putting my mouth around Adam's hard meat, because of how thick it was, but I wanted it. So I stretched my mouth open as wide as I could, and carefully, I was able to suck him off. I've always wanted him, so I decided to give him the best cock service he can handle. I licked the split on the head, migrated my tongue around the shaft and then swallowed up his cock inside my mouth again (I tried). I did this for a few minutes and I watched Adam as he went into sexual oblivion. He told me to slow down, because he wanted to fuck me. I knew he liked fucking his ex-girlfriend in the ass, and I know it'll be nothing to compare to a guy's ass. Tonight he was going to experience what it's like to fuck a guy for the first time. I positioned myself in the doggie style (Preferable Adam's choice) and handed him the KY jelly that was under my pillow. By this time my manhole was prodding and was in great eagerness for Adam's cock. He worked in one finger at a time, until he felt I was ready for penetration. He slipped on a condom, and lubricated it. Finally, I felt Adam's head pressing against the entrance of my manhole. I gasped as the head slipped in about an inch. Man, his cock felt so powerful and I couldn't wait until his cock was buried inside me. Bit by bit, Adam pushed slowly and carefully, before I knew it, Adam's pubic hair was rubbing against my ass cheeks. I could feel my manhole had stretched and the pain was a little unbearable, but I endured until I was adjusted to the size of Adam's cock inside me. I had my eyes shut tight as Adam slid out about an inch and pushed back in slowly. He did this a few times until my hole had loosened a bit more. I was moaning very loudly now, gosh, I couldn't help it! Adam's cock was so thick. Adam picked up a steady rhythm as he fucked me. I was enjoying him with each thrust. I started to push back on his cock as he fuck me, I couldn't believe how horny I was. I was acting like an animal on his cock. Seeing me this way sent Adam closer to the edge. He started pounding my ass without mercy and I felt my cock started to swell. He was pounding against my prostate and I couldn't contain myself. I came uncontrollable all over my bed sheets. Boy, I was screaming and calling out Adam's name. Suddenly, I felt Adam's thrust grew stronger and so did his cock inside of me. He pushed slowly, but harder and deeper, he gave one last shove and he shook frenziedly as his manjuice expelled. He was groaning so lustfully that I was entranced by the sound. After a few minutes, Adam pulled out of me and collapsed next to me. Both of us were so drained, that we fell asleep moments later. I was awakened by the sound of running water. I rolled over and discovered that Adam wasn't in the bed. I looked on the clock and it showed 5:54am. I figured Adam was taking a shower or something. I just lay back on my bed and thought about how lucky I was. Adam fucking me was everything I dreamt it would be. Just thinking about it, caused my cock to erect. Suddenly, I heard Eric's voice again. I sat up abruptly and tried to compose myself. I wondered what the hell was wrong with me. Why was I hearing Eric's voice like this? My heart was racing, because I heard him clearly, but he wasn't in my room. I got up and started to walk around the room to shake this weird feeling I felt on me. I hoped Eric was OK, first thing today, I'm going over to his place to visit him. Adam came out the bathroom fully dressed. He caught me pacing the floor. I really didn't want to tell him that I was hearing Eric's voice. He might think I'm going nuts. "Hey, are you OK, man?" Adam asked, with concern. "Yeah, I'm fine." I lied. "Just need to stretch my legs a bit." "I took a shower, I hope you don't mind." Said Adam. "You know I don't mind." I said, smilingly. "I thought about joining you." "Why didn't you?" He inquired, slyly. "I'm scared of that huge cock you got there." I jested. Adam burst out in laughter and it was very infectious. I'm glad I'm still able to make him laugh after we had sex, because I was worried his actions would be different. "You know, that was the best fuck I ever had." Adam said, a bit shockingly. "I never realized the passion that can be shared between two guys." "So you like gay sex better?" I inquired. "Dude, if it stays like this, I'm sure I'm going to be hooked." Said Adam. "I have a lot to thank my ex-girlfriend for." "Was I that good?" I questioned, mischievously. "Hell yeah!" Adam exulted. "You had me groaning like a woman." I laughed at that. Adam can be really funny without him knowing it. "Hey, man, I have to get going, I know Bruce is probably pulling his hair out of his head by now." Adam said, with a small laugh. "I really want to stay, but I think I better go home and talk with Bruce first." "So you're going to tell him about us?" I inquired. "Not yet." Adam replied. "I'll probably just let him know that I like guys too. I think it'll be unfair not to let him know." "You're a good friend to Bruce." I told him. "I just hope he realized how special of a person you are." "Thank you, you're special too, Taylor." Said Adam, touching my shoulder at the same time. "Are you going to be OK?" "Nawhh." I jested. "But I'll manage." "You better, I want you to be in good, working condition when I get back." Said Adam. "How funny you said `good working condition', cause after the feel of that huge thing inside of me, I think I need at least a week or so to recover." I said, jokingly. Adam looked a bit serious after I said that. "Are you sure I didn't hurt you?" He inquired. "Nawh. I was kidding with you." I assured him. "Please, if I had really hurt you, would you even tell me?" He questioned sincerely. "Of course I would." I told him. "Adam, I'm fine." "OK. I know you won't lie to me." He said. "I'll stop by later, after I put in some studying." With that, Adam kissed me and left. Honestly, I was feeling at bit painful. I never took a cock up my ass that thick before. But I didn't want to worry Adam, I'll get use to him after a while. Listen to me, I'm making it seem like Adam and I will be together for a long time. It was about 6:40am when Adam left. I lay back down, but I couldn't go back to sleep. Adam reminded me that mid-term exams were tomorrow, and I really needed to continue with my studies. When I stood to go downstairs to the kitchen, that weird feeling came upon again. I didn't understand why I felt this way. I decided to call Eric, because I was becoming really anxious. Eric's answering machine came on. I wondered where Eric could be at this time in the morning. Maybe he's still asleep. I'll visit him later. I hope's he home because he usually doesn't work on Sundays. After putting some breakfast in my stomach, I sat to my study desk and began studying. This was the part I hated about college, all this studying was wearisome to my soul. My mom once told me, "you should always finish something you started." I guess I took those words to heart, because I'm still holding on and I plan to graduate from this university come June. As I sat to my desk studying, I thought about how my decision would affect Adam and Eric. I really wanted both of them, but I know I can't have them both. They wouldn't allow it. I'm so torn up about this shit, why do I have to make a decision now, especially when I'm still so young? I also knew the longer I waited to make a decision, the harder it will be for me to let one of the men go. Maybe hearing Eric's voice was a sign to let me know I belong with him and not Adam. A few hours later, I got dressed and decided to go over to Eric's place, because I called him a few more times but he didn't answer. As I was approaching Eric's driveway, I saw a few police cars blocking off the entrance. I also saw an ambulance parked inside Eric's driveway. Now, immediately I became concerned and then frightened at the scene I looked upon. I prayed hopelessly that nothing had happened to my Eric. A lot of people were standing around just watching something I was trying to see. I couldn't park too close to Eric's place because the police had that blocked off. So I pulled over and parked to the nearest spot I could find. I hurriedly jumped out my SUV to see what the commotion was all about. My heart was racing so fast, and my knees buckled so much, that I thought I was going to fall out. From what I could see as I shakily walked up towards the driveway, Eric's car was parked across the lawn and I figure he must be home. As I drew closer, I saw droplets of blood on the pavement. I stopped breathing for a second or so, because I couldn't stand the sight of blood. I started to push my way through the crowd calling out Eric's name, but he didn't answer me. A policeman tried to hold me back and calm me down, but it was useless. I just got radical and pushed even harder. He let me go and I ran to Eric's front door. When I got there, I saw a white sheet covered with blood. It looked like a body was under the sheet, but I couldn't bring myself to believe that that was Eric's beautiful body under that bloody sheet. "Where's Eric?" I shouted tearfully, at one of the paramedics. "Who are you?" Asked an overweight policewoman. "Can you help me find Eric." I cried, profusely. "Calm down sir and tell us your name and relation to Eric." Said the policewoman. "Shit! My name is Taylor Hastings and I'm Eric's best friend." I told her in a shaky voice. "Now can someone please tell me where I can find Eric?" The policewoman looked at me with so much grief in her eyes and I knew what she was going to tell me, but I didn't want to hear her say it. My wailing began to escalate as she began to tell me what had happened to Eric... "Sir," The policewoman started. "I'm so sorry to be the bearer of such sad news." She paused again shortly and continued. "Your friend Eric was killed during a struggle with an intruder early this morning. It appears your friend met the intruder inside when he came home..." "Shut up! Shut the fuck up!" I cried, interrupting the policewoman at the same time. "Sir, I know this is hard to accept, I'm truly sorry for your lost." She tried. This woman was just pissing me off and I didn't want to hear a word she had to say. I tried to ignore her, because every word that came out of her mouth about Eric was breaking me down inside. "Not my Eric, oh my goodness, not my Eric." I wailed. "Why? Why now...." I couldn't stop myself from loosing control. I just couldn't believe Eric was dead and I will never see him in this life again. It was no use for the policewoman to talk to me because my cries drowned out her voice. I dropped to the ground, shaking in disbelief. It felt like a big piece of my heart had sunken in. I looked at the form that was under that bloody sheet and I wanted to pull back the sheet to see if it was really Eric, but I was afraid to see the lifeless body of my dear friend and lover. Who could have done such a horrible thing? What did they want from him? I questioned the police and myself over and over again, but the answers were not given. As they carried Eric's body out to the ambulance, with the sheet over his head, it really hit home that Eric was gone forever. I started crying all over again. The tears was flowing copiously and it I could feel my breath began to shorten. Oh Eric, why did this have to happen to you? Memories of the time we shared began to flash across my mind. Especially how I made him laugh all the time. He was my friend from high school and this was such a horrible way for him to die. I couldn't get his warm smile out of my mind. I thought about how my body quivered at his gentle touch and then I thought about how I would never feel him touch me that way again. I was a total mess, I didn't who to call or what to do with myself. I just sat on the pavement, shaking. This elderly lady came over and put her hands on my shoulder. I knew she was trying to help, but her words just pierced my heart even more. "Oh dear, you must have loved him a lot." Said the elderly woman. "Baby, life is filled with so many heartaches and so much pain. I lost my husband two months back in a boating accident, and I still haven't recover from that. I know it's hard to accept death, but we must and find the strength somehow to move on." "But he was so young." I said, broken down in tears again. "Oh baby, death has no respect of persons." She told me. "It comes to all, young and old alike." I still couldn't understand why Eric had to die now, especially when he had so much going for him. The elderly lady was Eric's neighbor who lived to houses away. She was a sweet individual, but even she couldn't console me in my grief. Suddenly, I thought about Eric's mom. My goodness, I wondered if she heard about her son. I felt heartbroken for his mom, because Eric and his mother had a very close bond. He was practically torn apart when he heard that his mom had a heart attack. Now I wondered if she could handle such terrible news about her son, considering she was still recovering. I wanted to help with the funeral arrangements, it was the least I can do for her and Eric. The police and investigators were there all day, collecting samples and evidence from the crime scene. They were asking me for the numbers and addresses of his relatives, so that they can get in contact with them immediately. I felt like I was in a movie. This was the saddest day I ever experience in my life. I couldn't stop from crying, no matter how hard I tried. I drove home two hours later from Eric's place and just threw myself on that sofa that Eric and I fucked on, and cried silently. I cried myself to sleep and was awakened by a knock on my door. I looked at my watch and it showed 6:12pm. I got up of the sofa feeling numb on the inside. My eyes were swollen and red from my excessive crying. I stumbled over to the door and opened it slowly. It was Adam with a big smile on his face. When he saw the condition I was in, he immediately became overly concerned. "Hey, what's wrong?" Adam inquired, seriously. I just burst out crying again. Obviously, I frightened Adam and I didn't mean to, but I was helpless. I walked off and he closed the front door and followed me back to my den. "Taylor, why are crying like this?" Adam asked, holding my hand. "Did something bad happened?" "Oh Adam." I cried. "Tell me what's wrong, Taylor. Let me help you." Adam pleaded. "Eric's gone." I blurted out in tears. "What do you mean?" Adam inquired. "Did he left town or something?" "No, Eric died this morning." I mustered. At the sound of my own words, I started crying loudly. Adam didn't know Eric that well, but I did talk about him. Adam held me tight in his arms and consoled me the best way he knew how. Strangely, I felt comforted, but I couldn't shake the feeling of not being able to Eric again. "How did he died?" Adam questioned. "I don't know how exactly it happened." I told him. "I mean, they tell me he fought with an intruder and he succumbed to death after multiple stab wounds." "Oh man, do they have any idea who did something like this?" Adam asked, looking really sorry to hear about my lost. "No." I said, tearfully." As Adam and I sat talking, I suddenly remembered that I had heard Eric's voice early this morning. Maybe Eric was sending me a message or something. "Adam, do you remember when I pulled away from you this morning?" I asked him. "Yes and I remembered asking you what was wrong." "I know you may think I'm crazy after I say this, but I heard Eric's voice in my ear while we were kissing." I told him. "It was so clear that I thought he was in my room." "Are you serious?" Adam inquired. "I know you think I'm crazy or something, but it's the honest truth." I told him, shaking my head in disbelief. "I don't think you're crazy, Taylor, I'll never think such a thing." He said to me. "The part I don't get is why would you hear Eric's voice so clearly hours before you discover he died this morning?" I didn't have an answer for him. I didn't even have an answer for myself. Maybe they were Eric's last words before he died, but I heard his voice twice. I couldn't explain this weird phenomenon that was happening to me. I don't want to sound like I'm nuts here, but I think Eric was sending me a message. Adam didn't exactly know the history that Eric and I shared and I felt I should kept it that way. Exams were tomorrow and I couldn't find the strength to study. Adam was such a help during this sad time in my life. He stayed with me that night, and just held me until I fell asleep, crying. The next morning, the alarm went off and woke me up. Adam's arm was still around me and I turned to see Adam was already waked. "Hey, how are you doing this morning." He asked softly. "I'm feel much better than last night." I told him, in an unsteady voice. "You want something to eat?" Adam asked, leaning over me. I shook my head and told him no. I didn't have any appetite to eat anything. I still felt like shit about Eric's death and I wondered how I was going to make it in the coming days. I quickly went to the bathroom to relieve myself and then I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I thought about staying home today, because I knew that I wouldn't be able to concentrate on taking my exam this morning. So I climbed back into bed. I missed Eric so much and no matter how hard I cried, it was not going to bring Eric back to me. I thought about the last time he stood in my doorway with a rose in his mouth. I just sighed silently. "Taylor, you don't have to go to class today." Adam told me. "I'll let the instructor know you're dealing with a terrible tragedy." "Thank you." I said softly, as I rolled back on my stomach and buried my face in the pillow. "I hate to leave you like this." Adam said, with such concern for me. "Tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it." I didn't answer him, because I was so weak from crying. I know Adam wondered why I was crying so much over Eric, but I couldn't tell him the whole story about my past with Eric. Adam lay next to me, comforting me by rubbing my shoulders and whispering words of consolation in my ears. Strangely, the way Adam was touching me, turned me on and I was embarrassed, considering it was the wrong time to feel horny. Nevertheless, blood rushed to my cock and heat gathered around my ears. Adam sensed I was in the mood for sex, so he turned me around kissed me passionately. I felt incredibly horny and I couldn't understand why. Adam and I decided to stay home and fuck. I wanted to feel Adam's thick cock inside of me again. Although I was still feeling a bit sore from last night, I wanted his cock desperately. I knew sex wasn't going to take my pain away, but it helped me to cope much better with my emotions. Adam saw that I wanted him to fuck me deep and hard, so without any foreplay, Adam and I hurriedly undressed and lay naked upon each other, gyrating. Adam slipped a condom on and lubricated my ass with KY jelly. He lifted my legs on top of his shoulder and I encouraged him to push his hard meat inside me all at once. When he did, I let out an animalistic sound, which lustfully reminded me of how powerful his cock felt inside me last night. I wanted Adam to fuck my pain away. He began to push hard and strong, picking up his pace with each thrust. I was roaring with pleasure as I felt Adam's hard cock pressing against my prostate. He was making an uncontrollable groan and I could tell he was lost in a sexual trance. The expression on his face was so lustful that I had trouble holding off my urge to cum. Adam continued to ram his hard meat up my ass as I pushed upwards to his thrusts. Gay sex is something I knew Adam would be addicted to. This is the best pleasure a human being can ever experience. Adam was pounding hard into me and I couldn't hold off any longer, I spurted all over my stomach and chest, some even got on Adam's chest. This was the second time Adam made me cum without me touching myself. This guy was going to be amazing. Suddenly, I heard Adam roared and I knew he was cumming with a force he couldn't control. Adam pushed into me with all his strength and seconds later, Adam was shaking as came copiously. Adam rested on top of me for a few minutes to catch his breath, and then he lay next to me. All at once, the reality of Eric's death came rushing to my mind. I tried to stop myself from crying, but it just caught me off guard. Oh how I miss Eric, was my constant cry. Adam eyes showed so much perplexity and I was sorry for making this hard for him to deal with, but he didn't know how much Eric had meant to me. At least I really know now what Eric meant, when he asked me why I took him for granted. I truly did take him for granted and now he's gone and I will never see him again. I started to wail hopelessly next to Adam. "Come on, baby, it's going to be OK." Adam tried. "Adam, he's actually gone, I can't believe my best friend is gone." I said tearfully. "Taylor, I know he loved you too." Adam said softly, as we lay naked hugging each other. "It's going to be OK and I'm going to be here for you." Adam words were soothing me and I began to hold up my crying for a while. Eric's death was so hard for me to accept. Adam finally dragged me downstairs to the kitchen to get something to put in my stomach. I managed to eat a few bites of a ham and cheese sub that Adam prepared with a glass of OJ. Five days had passed, and for me they were the most gruesome days a person ever could go through. I didn't sleep much at all, neither did I ate much, it was just utterly painful. Today was Eric's funeral and I sat on my bed, staring in the mirror. I couldn't believe I was getting dress to attend my lover's funeral. Eric's mom was in total shock and I was scared for her because she was still in such a fragile state. Eric's parents knew that he was gay and his mom had accepted him for who he was, but his dad still needed time to come around. His parents were divorced now, but this horrible tragedy brought Eric's entire family together. He had a younger half-brother on his dad's side, named Ryan and an older sister named Michelle. Even though the family wanted a funeral service for Eric here in Tampa, (mostly because of his friends) they wanted his final resting-place to be in Maryland. I didn't attend classes for the entire week, I just went through the week in a daze. Thank goodness for Adam, I don't know what I would have done without him. He stayed by my side constantly. I felt so guilty about so many things and I wanted say so many things to Eric, but it was too late. I just shook my head regretfully and started to get dress for the funeral. At the service, everyone of Eric's friend went up on the podium and said something nice and truthful about him. This was extremely hard for all of them, because everyone knew that Eric was a genuine person in heart and spirit. Tears were flowing from everyone's eyes. Eric's mom fainted a few times during the service, and I just sat and whimpered. Adam sat next to me, holding my hand. Eric was truly loved, his memories will forever go on in the hearts and minds of his friends. It's been a year now since Eric's death and even today I'm still having a hard time coming to terms that he is actually gone. I miss him so much and I will always remember what his life taught me. Eric's life taught me about commitment, no one was more committed to me more than Eric was. He taught me about love and how to be sacrificial to a person that you care about. He taught me about devotion and kindness, to a friend that was in need. He taught me about patience and understanding someone when it doesn't even make sense. All of these and more were attributes that Eric S. Royal had possessed in his lifetime. May he rest in peace. Adam and I have been living together since Eric's death and together we build our relationship on the values that stemmed from Eric's heart. I've been monogamous so far with Adam. I don't know what the future holds, but I can say for sure that Eric's death changed my life. Bruce had moved back home to Orlando, because he couldn't accept the relationship between Adam and I. Guys, life is too short to play games with people emotions. You'll never miss the well until the water run dry. I love you, Eric. The End There you have it, "Heart desires" have finally come to an end. I know many of you thought Taylor and Eric would live happily ever after, but I thought I should put a twist in this chapter, considering this was the grand finality. I hope you have enjoyed reading my story, because I had a lot of fun writing it. Be safe and take care of yourselves guys.