Hell of Syn
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"You'll never leave me right," I ask Sampson.
He holds on my hand. He grabs tight on it. He has such a hard grip that I feel like maybe he never really would let me go. And he just turned to me and smiled.
College life. It was crazy that we was going to college back where we started. It was the lost city of Bushwick. My very own hell growing up. It had been hit with a hurricane two years ago. It was bigger then Hurricane Katrina.
Needless to say a lot of people had to relocate. Everyone had to as a matter of fact. So I didn't know what to expect coming back.
I had my boyfriend, Sampson. I mean, I kind of always had him. It took him forever to get into my heart but now that he was in, he definitely was in. And I wasn't going to let him go anywhere for that matter.
"I can't wait to see the guys," he stated.
"The guys?" I asked.
He smiled and laughed a little, "Yeah, the guys. You know T-Boy and the old crew. I been emailing him. He said he was going here."
T-Boy was Sampson's gay brother. Well adopted brother. They used to hate each other when they were younger but truth was they shared a lot. They both like guys. They both liked me to be honest. Before I had Sampson, I was with T-Boy. Not to say, T-Boy didn't take it too well when I told him that I was with his brother.
Fuck. I didn't even want to revisit the past I had with that guy.
"Come on that was a long time ago," Sampson stated, grabbing me up pulling me close, "Don't act like a baby about it."
He knew how to get me in a better mood. He pulled me close, grabbed my back side and kissed me open tongue. He didn't care who saw. Sampson never seemed to care about who saw. We had been through years together. That definitely wasn't going to effect us now
But it was just us that didn't care.
I could see the looks as we approached campus. The campus wasn't very big. It was tiny as a matter of fact. University of Bushwick was a small little private school.
I could see a group of girls looking at us. None of them really looked THAT familiar. And as we approached the main dorm buildings I realized that nothing seemed familiar at all.
The voice called out from next to us. He was a boy, leading a group of other boys. They all kind of looked a like. They were all dark, tall as ever , muscular and all seemed to have on this disgusted face once they saw us.
The main boy that spoke seemed the least disgusted even though that wasn't really saying much. He was a pretty boy. I could tell by how neatly shaven he was. He walked like he was being watched. He seemed extremely cocky. I hated it. I mean, he probably was cute. He probably did get a lot of girls. And he probably measured his entire worth based on how much pussies he could fuck.
His goatee was so thin that it looked like...well a fucking a single pubic hair spread across his face.
"Yeah," Sampson said.
I watched as he let go of my hand and shook the guy's hand. The guy smiled back at him.
"My names Quan. I'm captain of the basketball team. Everyone who does a sport has to help the freshmen move in this year. So...um, ok, do you have your room assignments."
He was really short with us. What the fuck kind of introduction was that. He could do a lot better. This lazy ass motherfucker was half-assing it.
"Yeah," Sampson stated.
I butted in, "Yup, and we were wondering if we could change them."
Sampson gave me a look that a seemed a little off. The guy, looked over at me and then at Sampson. He was obvious confused.
"Um yeah, thought we were trying to move in closer on campus."
"Well...," I could see Sampson hesitating, "I know I said that and don't be mad, I just was hoping that we can get a little space. I mean we did go to the same school, and we'll see each other all the time. We don't have to room right next to each other do we."
Did this motherfucker just...oh wow.
Quan made a face. Obviously as though noting that I had just been dissed.
"If you feel like you didn't want to stay near me you should have let me know from the get-go. Don't bullshit with me. And wait till you get in public and perform in front of this walking PUBIC hair."
"What?" Quan just asked.
"Walking pubic hair. You heard me. When grown
folks are talking, you don't sit there and make little faces. And tell your
friends that too."
Sampson's face turned it's usual embarrassed red, "Syn..."
I stepped forward, "Cause truth is, none of you GOT it like that anyway. You walk around all posh and shit. Let's face it. This isn't a school exactly KNOWN for basketball. And I heard about your record. All you do is lose. Just like you lose face. So next time you and your friends want to make faces at a motherfucker. It better be ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKER!"
I stormed off, leaving Sampson with the Pubic Hair. I could see the eyes on my back. I could see that I had already made enemies. Well I was used to it. And so was Sampson.
I know there's something I skipped.
Oh yeah...my name is Syn.
Knew it was something that I forgot. Who knows what my mother was thinking when she named me that. She must have been been high off that old Louisiana voodoo swamp water or something. My parents are dead though, both of them. Car accident or so they say. Truth was, I probably drove my mother to suicide and she took my father with her. But that's a whole different story.
How to describe Syn?
Crazy Syn, mean Syn, honest Syn, vengeful Syn, paradoxical Syn. Who knows? Who really cares? You know?
I was changed. Or at least I was working on it. Sampson was helping me work on it. And it wasn't coming easy, I'll tell you that.
In this world of calamity, I saw falseness in almost everyone. Sampson was the only TRUE soul that I really knew. He was pure. His purity, his values, his compassion was what I really loved about him. I had almost given up on love but he wouldn't let me give up on him.
"Hey, saw you out there."
I turned around. It was a boy. He was clearly a geek. It wasn't hard to tell. He seemed like a computer geek. You know the ones that just look like they spend all day playing some god forsaken RPG locked up in their room and only taking time off their game to masturbate.
Yeah...he was definitely one of them.
I waved him away. Well kind of lifted my hand and shooed him away. I didn't have time to entertain weirdos. I was lost...
"Um, it was cool," he stated, "Quan and those guys are real slick. They talk about people behind their backs and make those funny faces all the time. Like little girls. They are sophomores. You know what they did to me when I was a freshman..."
"Listen, I don't want to sound rude."
"Somehow I can't help but think what you are going to say next is going to be rude."
"And you'd be correct."
He smiled, as though amused by me. He was definitely a weirdo. Some people were gluttons for punishment.
"I don't give a flying fuck about your tall tale. You know what I tell random people who can't get over the fact that they were victimized at one point or another in their life? Kill yourself. Like seriously. That's what I say. You don't want me to say that to you right?"
"No, I wouldn't."
"Ok then, go play in traffic."
"Did I do something to you?"
"No. I'm just not a people person."
"I get that and neither am I. I did have a reason for coming up and talking to you though," he stated and walked up to me, "My names Xhao Khan. Everyone calls me Khan though."
I tapped me foot, waiting for the punchline.
"What didn't you get any of my emails. Xhao Khan.."
"Oh god," I stated trying my hardest to remember why the name was so familiar. And then it clicked to me.
He had been sending me emails all summer. He was my roommate and he was sending all these emails suggesting things we should buy for the room, or things we should do. Or us meeting up or bullshit...bullshit...bullshit. Of course, I had been ignoring all of them...FOR THE LIFE OF ME. It wasn't that I was just too cool to do all that stuff, it was just that I was just too cool to do all that stuff WITH HIM.
And his ethnicity still wasn't clear. He looked foreign. He had dark skin, almost dark as mine, but his hair was silky and his eyes slanted. Like a mix between Asian and something else. Not really sure what it could have been though. Maybe black. I wasn't sure.
"Oh, um...this is awkward," I stated.
I probably wouldn't have been as rude to him if I knew I'd have to be living with him for my entire freshman year. But then again. I probably still would have.
"It's cool. I'll show you our dorm."
He walked me up to the very last of about 5 dorms. It was at the other end of where I spotted Sampson. Sampson was still hanging out with that Pubic Hair. I could see his eyes looking at me as though he wanted to say something, but he didn't. He knew not to say anything to me when I was annoyed.
The dorm we walked in was about a 15 minute walk from Sampson's. That was a long fucking way. What if I needed some sex before class?
"I'm warning you now, these dorms aren't all that homey."
We walked into the dorms. We went all the way up to the top floor. It was marked, "Special Needs" as soon as we got off. I could immediately smell the odor from the door. The place looked run down. Just as I said that I could see a boy. He was naked...butt naked.
He ran from one hall to another laughing as though he was a lunatic in an asylum. Then he ran back and then forth again. And then he stopped and smiled at me.
"Hey I'm Wylie."
His dick was huge especially for a white guy which made since that he didn't care at all who saw it. And there were a couple people in the hall. Some laughed at him, others retreated to their rooms almost immediately. The floor was small, probably about a good 6 dorms.
"I see you met Wylie," a voice stated.
I turned around to see this beautiful girl. I had to admit she was pretty. She had long curly hair. She was a pretty black girl with full lips and a warm smile. She smiled at me immediately when I walked in.
"I'm Angelina," she stated and reached her hand to shake mine, "I'm your RA."
"I'm Syn...it's nice to..."
Just as I shook her hand I was interrupted...
"FUCK SHIT FUCK SHIT AND BALLS! FUCK FUCK!"
I turned around to see another girl. She was a white girl. She was banging her on the wall cursing her ass off. No one was around her. She had just been laughing at Wylie being naked. And now she was cursing. What the hell had set her off.
"That's Amelia. She has Tourette's."
"They finally got me," I stated.
"They finally got me in a psych ward huh?" I stated, looking around and noticing things about some of them, "I knew Sampson was up to something. He tells me I'm going to college and ships me off to the nut house. I KNEW IT!"
Angelina laughed as she looked at me.
Khan shrugged, "Sampson's his boyfriend."
"Oh," Angelina stated and then raised an eyebrow, "Well you aren't in the nuthouse. You are definitely in college. Just when you applied, it you checked special needs housing. It's for people who need a little bit more attention than others."
"Crazy motherfuckers?" I asked.
Angelina and Khan traded looks.
"Yeah, he's a handful," Khan stated.
Angelina seemed as though she didn't take offense to it. She seemed like a cool enough person. Wonder what the fuck her personality disorder was. It was obviously Khan was just a loser.
"Sampson did my application. I CAN'T FUCKING believe he would do this to me. He needed space. Bullshit. He didn't want to be around the crazies," I stated.
"AHH BULLSHIT FUCK FUCK!" Amelia went off again.
"Look at her, that bitch doesn't need special attention, she needs shock therapy," I stated, "I'm going in my room, don't anyone bother me."
I couldn't sleep that night. It was big move in day. Khan was on the other side of the room. The room was a tiny ass hell hole. There was a "EMERGENCY" phone on the side of the bed. There was bars on the window.
Like what the fuck kind of dorm was this.
I had my phone off. I turned it on to see if Sampson called. 1 missed call. He called me one time? I felt kind of played. I mean that was my boyfriend. We were together all the time. Shouldn't he be checking up on me? To just call me one time.
"You ok?" I heard Khan ask.
"You sure you don't want to come?"
I looked at Khan. He was trying to force me into the hallway. He was acting like I was some sort of fucking doll or something like that to be manhandled.
"They don't have a definition for the word no in your country?" I asked, trying my hardest to be rude enough to turn him off.
Instead he just laughed, "You're so silly. Come on, it's the new student orientation. We welcome all you new guys to the school. You can meet new people, be social. Angelina's waiting downstairs. We can go as a floor unit."
"I was the one who was supposed to be gay remember?"
One thing I couldn't stand was a guy who took insult and laughed at it. They were so hard to deal with. You could insult them all you like and they just found it funnier and funnier.
"All the freshmen going to be there though."
"All of them?"
"Ok I'll go."
I thought about it for a minute. Sampson. I would have a chance to see him. I would have a chance to see him casually too. Not thinking that I was trying to s mother him or anything. He wanted his space, I'd give him more space then he needed. That'd show him.
We walked out into the hall to see a few people waiting. Angelina was one of them. And so was Wylie. The other two people I had no idea who they were.
Angelina smiled as I walked out, "Hey, Syn, these are the other two new freshmen on the floor. This is Natalie and Porter."
Natalie smiled at me. She seemed very shy and to herself. She probably said something but god knows she spoke so low that I didn't hear a word she was saying.
Then there was Porter. He actually came up to me.
He shook my hand, "Nice to meet you."
His hand shake was tough and...Ionno...manly. Immediately I noticed how well defined his face was. What the fuck was he doing here? I mean, I didn't look crazy either but I'd always been the exception. Porter, was...well, he was sexy.
He was a sandy complexion. He had dark eyes and dredlocks that came down to his shoulders. He had an athletic frame. And he smelled...bomb.
We walked out Khan sticking close to me and Angelina leading the way. I could tell already she was a kind of a know it all. She kept telling us all this bullshit about the history of the school like anyone really gave a fuck either way. Give me a degree and call it a day. Let that be the motherfucking history lesson of the day or something.
The orientation as a picnic setting. I watched as Angelina grabbed a table for us and gestured us over like it was the end of the world if we didn't claim that table fast enough.
That was when Wylie nearly knocked someone over trying to get to the table. He didn't even apologize. Jesus Christ...I was retards.
"You look embarrassed," Porter stated and laughed, "This is crazy ain't it."
"What's wrong with you? I don't want to start a conversation and you start cursing at me, cause I have no problem hitting crazy people."
Porter shook his head, "Something happened to me in my past. I got real depressed."
"Same with me," Khan jumped into the conversation.
It was obvious that Porter was actually talking to me though. I watched his eyes on me. It was something about the way he was looking at me. Or maybe it was just my imagination but he seemed very interested.
"What about you Syn?" Porter asked, continuing to look me in my eyes, "What is your special need."
`I'm sociopathic at times," I stated.
"That's me every morning," Porter laughed, "You and me need to hang out sometime."
"And do what?"
"Whatever you like," he stated and got up. He smiled and walked away to get some food.
I watched Khan. He gave me this weird look. Already I could tell he was being nosy. He seemed like the type to be like that.
"Was he just..."
"No, drop it."
I didn't even him to finish his thought. People always assumed the wrong thing. But as I looked over at Porter, I could have sworn he was still looking back at me, his eyes following me.
That was when I saw Sampson.
He had been with the Pubic Hair known as Quan. Why the fuck were they still together? I watched as Quan waved bye to Sampson. And he gave me another look. The same look I had told him off about before. He was doing a good job at it now. And it probably wasn't helping that I was sitting with these crazy people.
Sampson walked over to me and stood in front of me, "Look Syn, I'm not trying to argue. I feel like this is the best thing for you. As your man..."
He already knew I was upset.
The entire table had turned. Natalie, Khan, Angelina, and Wylie had turned to watch our conversation, almost as though they were watching daytime soaps.
"You don't make decisions for me. You got that. Last time I checked my balls were bigger then yours!"
"See this the reason I did it. You can't talk like that in public."
"I can talk however the fuck I want."
"Well, let me rephrase that then. You can't talk TO ME like that."
He stormed off. It was different.
It was weird. Since when does Sampson storm off on me? I could sense that something between us was changing. I looked over at Khan and the rest of them. Happy first day of college huh? Happy orientation.
This was some complete bullshit. The last thing I needed was to be losing touch with the love of my life.