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They had hit me, wrestled me down, tied me and gagged.
I remember waking to a blind fold. Oh what the fuck as going on? This was some sick, weird shit. I wasn't scared though...instead I was angry. I was pissed off to an extreme.
the fuck? Who would do this to me?
What did they have planned?
I sat there in silence. It was probably for a matter of seconds but it felt like an eternity of all these unanswered questions. Just after I read that creepy ass poem now this thing was going on.
What the hell was all of this about?
Arguing was going on.
"I didn't know they were going to take him."
"Let him go, fuck that. They aren't doing a motherfucking thing to him."
It was Sampson.
He was back from out of town? Wait, that's impossible. He couldn't have come back so soon. It was just about 10 minutes from when he last text me. What the fuck was going on exactly?
I could feel something pulling at my blindfold.
"Sampson leave it on," someone had stated, "He can't see our faces. He could snitch and we'd all be suspended.'
"Well no one is playing any type of tricks on him to get at the Alphas," Sampson stated, "So I'm taking him right now."
"That's fine. Let him go."
I heard the other voice. Quan! Quan was in this. I wanted to started cursing and screaming in all types of ways.
I could feel Sampson stand me up immediately, "Syn, I'm going to stand you up. Just hold on to my shoulder. We have to walk you out of here blindfolded."
Was he protecting these bastards? I couldn't believe it. He did stand me up and started to walk out of the room together. I was so pissed. All I needed was to know their faces. I just needed some gasoline and a match. I would blow everything to the Smithereens.
We walked and walked a long way. It seemed like it would never end at first. That was when I heard Wylie's crazy scream, I knew that Sampson had walked me all the way to the dorm.
That was when he took the blindfold off. I could see my boyfriend standing there, his face full of some type of shame. He untied my arms then and I couldn't wait even two seconds before I ungagged myself.
"WHAT THE FUCK!"
I screamed it at the top of my lungs. I looked at Wylie who was running around
naked. He looked stunned when I screamed and ran into his room with the one or two people who still found him somewhat amusing.
Sampson raised his hands, "Look, I had no idea this was going to happen. Why didn't you tell me you were crossing Alpha?"
"YOU didn't tell
me you were becoming a Kappa."
"Damn. I know. It's not I was trying to keep it a secret, but I know how you feel
about Quan. I didn't want there to be any beef or anything. That is the only reason I didn't say any..."
I stormed away.
I couldn't take it anymore.
This entire conversation was going to lead to a couple screws getting loose in my mind. He followed me, kind of aggressively.
He stopped me midway up the staircases and just as we got to my floor. I could see Angelina and Khan looking over from the lobby. Surprisingly Porter was with them, but he was obviously going out of his way to pretend like he wasn't watching us.
"They told me, we were going to kidnap one of the Alpha's new members. We would take them, and do a little hostage video and show it at the annual step show."
"All that for a
FUCKING step show? I was kidnapped, Sampson."
"It was all in fun and games. They wasn't going to hurt you. They just wanted to
tape one of the Alphas scared shitless."
This concept went way over my head. They found tricks amusing huh? I had a
couple tricks for these motherfuckers. I just needed to know which ones did it.
And I knew one of them for sure. Quan...
"Frats do that kind of stuff to each other. The step show is a big face-off. How to embarrass the other frat in the biggest way like...you know..."
"SAMPSON what the fuck!" I stated, screaming at the top of my lungs, "Who were the ones that kidnapped me. Quan set this whole thing up."
"Out of everyone joining the Alphas, why the fuck was I chosen."
"It was random. Quan didn't know."
"You are protecting him again."
"He's my friend," Sampson replied intensely, "Damn it. What is wrong with you Syn? He didn't set it up. I `m sure of it. The other guys who set it up didn't even know you were my boyfriend?"
"I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't want them to judge me. I didn't tell any of the Kappas that I was gay. I planned on doing it. I just didn't want people to judge me like they usually do to you..."
"That came out wrong..."
"No it sounded just perfect," I replied and smiled a little bit, "Fuck the small talk though, who else was involved?"
"I'm not telling you."
"Oh wow, are we in a relationship?" I asked immediately, "Where is your
He shook his head, confused in thought.
I couldn't understand this.
"Syn, this is crazy. If you don't know that my loyalty is with you then why are
we even together?"
"I was wondering the same thing."
He rolled his eyes. He walked away, harshly, not looking back.
I thought about going after him, thought about forcing him to sit there and talk it out, but I didn't. I let him go. Truth was I didn't have time to deal with all of that right now. Right now I just wanted some type of release.
I just wanted to let him go...at least for now.
I walked into my room, ignoring Angelina and Khan who obviously wanted to get all the updates about what was going on.
I looked over at my bed. There was a picture of Sampson. I just rolled it up and threw it.
I couldn't believe he was choosing Quan and his FRAT over me yet again. What the fuck was all that about?
"They did what now?"
Nyno and a couple Alphas came into my room the next day. I had told Nyno what happened and they had all found their way to my dorm.
I didn't need back up that isn't what this was about.
I looked around at them. I trusted Nyno...not the rest of these losers.
"Come talk to me in the hallway then," Nyno replied, probably picking up the fact that I didn't trust them.
"How about they go in the hall?"
I didn't trust these people in my room AT ALL.
Nyno grabbed me, pulling me, "Come on Syn. You need to calm down, we are your brothers. Those are the enemies."
He walked me out into the hallway.
We stood in the hallway while all the frat brothers were in the room. Nyno always felt like he had to get me alone, calm me down or something.
I looked out the window into the distance of the lobby. Everyone else was in class at this time.
"My boyfriend was there the entire time. He didn't even tell them that he was gay?"
Nyno shook his head, "Damn seriously?"
"Yeah," I stated, "Nyno isn't that some fucked up shit?"
Nyno shook his head, "Listen, maybe you shouldn't jump to conclusions so fast. I mean, you love him right and he loves you. You can't let little stuff like this come between you guys?"
That was kind of shocking.
I would have thought Nyno WOULDN'T want us to be together.
"It's just hard, you know. Like I can't stand how he keeps taking Quan's side. Like Sampson just changed. He gotten so uppity. He's supposedly so mature. So much better then me. He tried to say I should be nicer to people..."
"Oh he's one of those," Nyno laughed.
"One of what?"
"Is the pitcher?"
It was crazy how straight guys talked. The pitcher and the catcher. I guess they meant more the top and the bottom.
"That's kind of personal?"
"I think he has a little control issue, that's all that is," Nyno replied, "He probably looks at you as wifey. I figure that'd be the problem in gay relationships. Maybe you need to let him know you're still a guy. Maybe you need to pitch."
I thought about it for a second.
Maybe he was right.
"So you think that is the problem."
I was going to fuck Sampson.
That was my mission. But that wasn't my first mission. That night I waited, waited for Angelina and Khan to get back from their classes.
Angelina was the first one up the stairs and then Khan followed her close behind her actually.
"I need you guys' help."
"What do we have to do?"
"Angelina, I need you to start talking to your sister again," I stated, "And Khan I need you to make me a powerpoint."
"Why?" Khan asked.
"I'm getting back at Quan," I replied, "He's trying to sabotage my relationship and Sampson doesn't believe me. But I love Sampson. I'm not going to let him go, no matter what."
shook her head, "I can't stand Dani, Syn...you're lucky you are my
Khan turned around, "Well what kind of slide show do I have to make?"
"Well I don't know yet. That is where Dani will come in. We'll use her. Quan is one of those overachievers like Sampson. And if he's anywhere like Sampson he is going to be making a presentation soon. Let's find out what presentation he is making and we'll pull an old...switcheroo..."
Khan slapped his forehead, "Oh god...Syn..."
I shrugged, "We'll make it hot."
Just as we were talking we saw Porter. He got out of his room and gave us a little nod before walking down the steps. I could see Angelina's eyes following him intensely. She still liked him.
She laughed a little, "You understand how much I hate Dani?"
"Well it's about time you make up with her. She is your sister after all," I laughed.
Khan laughed, "You should take your own advice. Sampson is your boyfriend, after all."
I shook my head and tried to ignore him.
Truth was sometimes that is what people in a relationship need to hear.
"Sampson's going to hate us if we mess with his friend," Angelina stated, "Maybe this isn't a good idea."
Khan rolled his eyes, "Angelina can you stop being scared for one second in your life. Live a little. I mean, I think Quan is gay and he's after Sampson. It's time to break that little thing up."
"Yeah, and that step show is coming up. That is usually around when Sampson would cross."
Khan smiled, "Yeah but that shouldn't be a problem right. I mean you aren't crossing yourself into Alpha anymore...right?"
I forgot that I had walked out of that meeting.
"No...um...I'm still doing it."
"How? You haven't been coming to the meetings or anything."
"Well don't tell anyone, but Nyno said I didn't have to."
I could see Khan's face getting really red. He looked pissed. I looked over at Angelina. I could tell how unfair it really was.
it's not how it sounds. I got you in
there too. Like he said it was guaranteed.
Honestly Khan, I wasn't going to do it.
I was going to pull out. But they wanted me so bad they said they would keep "
"Syn, I don't need any handouts."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm not pledging anymore," Khan stated, "I am who I am you know. I'm a skinny geeky Asian kid who never knows the right things to say. If they don't want me for who I am, then I may have been wrong about them."
He walked out of the room just at that moment and left the building. I was thinking about going but I didn't.
I looked over at Angelina. She shrugged her shoulders.
"He just has a lot of pride," she stated and smiled, "I know you meant well. I'm sure he knows it too."
"I hope so."
It was a few days later. Khan didn't act weird to me, but he sure did drop out of the Alphas. He did have a lot of pride. For some reason I found myself really respecting him for this.
And my attention turned to the Alphas. Maybe Khan was right. I mean, Nyno was real cool, but their bias attitude was hard.
Sampson knew how to do all of the right things and say all of the wrong things. I found myself outside my door looking at these flowers on the doorstep. They were beautiful flowers.
And my room slightly cracked.
I walked into the room to see him with music playing in the background. Candles were lit all around the room. Khan wasn't there. It was just Sampson.
"You know what today is?" he asked.
He was dressed nice...not extremely nice, but had on a fresh haircut and a little Christian Audigier shirt that was tight enough to show how big his arms were. His eyes lowered onto me.
"Our anniversary," I stated and smiled.
"Yeah baby," he replied, "This song that's playing...it reminds me so much of you. Come over here and listen to it with me."
"I'm still mad."
He shook his head as he advanced me and said his famous line, "You can't stay mad at me for long."
He grabbed me and we fell to the floor, in the middle of the rug. He wrapped his arms around me and I lowered my head into his arms.
And the song serenaded us. It was India. Arie...
"Cause he is the
Said he is so real
And I love the way that he makes me feel
And if I am a reflection of him then I must be fly because
His light it shines so bright I wouldn't lie no."
And Sampson's eyes looked right into mine. It seemed at that moment I
remembered why this love of ours was so important. I understood why I couldn't let this love fail for any reason at all.
He kissed me softly, so soft that I felt like I was kissing a cloud.
"I want to give it to you..." he stated.
"Yeah but let's lock the door first."
And let's make love.
The world seemed so small of a sudden. I had a smile on my face in class. I drew on the table. A picture of Sampson was the first thing that came to mind. I felt like I was so tall...so important.
To be so important that someone as handsome, as wonderful as Sampson chose me to be in love with.
I looked through the eyes of someone in love.
We argued so hard and we made up so hard. Why was it that we kept having these extreme ups and downs? Why wasn't it that when you loved someone it just couldn't be all the way up?
You always had the inevitable downtime as well.
"You seem extra happy today?"
I wasn't surprised to see Angelina standing outside my class. However, I was surprised to see Dani with her. I smiled at Angelina. She had a little Syn in her somewhere.
I smiled, "I am, extremely happy. Hello Dani."
Dani waved and gave a blunt, "Hey..."
Angelina seemed cheery herself, "So Dani was just telling me about how Quan is doing this HUGE presentation about the history of Greek society on campus right before the step show on Friday. Isn't that interesting?"
"Oh wow...seriously?" I stated, "That is so interesting."
Dani shook her head, "What did you do with the Syn that I met?"
I rolled my eyes, "I don't have any idea what you are talking about."
Dani shook her head, "Well this is more like it. Well sis, I wish I had more time to sit around and entertain you dolls, but I some stuff I have to do."
"Ok Doll..." Angelina stated.
Dani waved and walked away, "Toodles."
Angelina rolled her eyes as her sister walked away.
We watched as Dani walked away, quickly seeing some guy that looked a little interesting to her and like a fly to sticky paper, she immediately hopped on it. It was actually kind of scary how that worked.
the hell did we come out of the same vagina?" Angelina asked, "I can't get it
for the life of me."
"It's a surprise she hasn't had any kids popping out of hers yet," I laughed.
"Please, she take birth controls like tic tacs," Angelina replied, "Only thing she has growing in her is genital warts."
I shook my head, "Serious?"
"Yeah..." Angelina stated, "Man why do you think I was so upset about Porter. If they had gone through with it, he would just be another burning bush. She's my sister, but there is a reason she has such a CRABBY attitude."
"Now that's just wrong," I stated and as I caught my breath I added, "Now, she takes any pills for those."
"She has empty bottles of that special shampoo..."
"Can you get too
"I can do more then that. You want proof. I'll have it all to you. This is my revenge too."
I laughed a little, "Great. You have Quan's presentation. We have to overwrite it remember? Did you steal it?"
"You so owe me for talking to her again. But here it is. This is Quan's presentation," Angelina stated and handed it to me. Just as she stated that she pulled out a little flash drive out of her pocket.
I looked at the flash drive.
"You think Khan still going to do it? He may be pissed about the whole Alpha thing still."
"Khan will do it. Trust me. Especially if you have a something good to replace it with."
"Oh you know I bring the drama."
She laughed, "I bet you do. See you tomorrow at the finish line."
We parted ways like we were some type of secret agents or something. I glided back to class. I couldn't wait to see Quan's face when instead of his presentation slides on the history of Greek society on campus, there was a history of supposed genital diseases that HIS girlfriend of his frat buddies on campus.
We sat in the aisle at the step show. It was kind of crowded. I was surprised when Sampson walked up behind me...surprising me.
I looked over at him, "What the hell are you doing here?"
"What do you mean? I should be with my man..."
He smiled. He usually didn't call me his man. It felt a little empowering a little bit. He gleamed a little bit. He was beautiful. Ever since I fucked him it felt like there was nothing between us that was taboo anymore.
"I thought you would be performing with your fraternities."
"Well I didn't tell them yet, but um...rethinking things," he stated, "I just been thinking about us. I want you and me to work. You are the most precious thing to me. I want us to settle down and fix our problems before I join the Kappas. I think I'll have to give them a rain check for now."
I smiled at him.
This was one of the up moments.
He held my hand, "Look, there's Angelina and Dani. Let's go sit over there."
I could see Angelina and Dani sitting up on the second row of seats. It was a huge row of seats and Angelina had already saved some of them for us.
Angelina smiled at me, "Shows about to start."
I leaned over to her whispering to her, "Maybe we should stop it. It can't go down this way."
I just didn't want any thing that could bring drama to the happiness that Sampson and I had just got back on terms on. It just was too delicate right now. I rathered ignored Quan right now.
"What? It's too late Syn. Khan is changing his power point now."
I looked over at loud ass Dani, "Shut the hell up."
"I knew this was funny!" Dani stated drawing attention from Sampson, "You changed Quan's powerpoint, Syn? That is completely fucked up."
Sampson looked at me but then looked at the ground as though trying to maintain his anger, "Syn, please tell me this girl is making up some sort of fucked up lie about you. I SO rather be upset with her right now..."
He was pissed. I could see him really hoping it wasn't true.
I got up out of my seat, "Wait Sampson, ok, I'm sorry. I'll stop it. I'll be right back."
let out this loud ass noise. I could see
Angelina sinking into her seat as Dani began to dig
into her accusing her almost immediately to have something to do with it as
Damn, why did I have to say something? There I was trying to do the right thing and now I BLEW UP MY OWN SPOT.
I raced back stage to where the projector was. Fuck, I had to get there! Quan was getting on stage just at that time.
I turned around to see Khan, surprisingly. He was racing to me as well. We met each other between two isles.
"Khan, we got to switch back to Quan's original powerpoint. I don't want to do it anymore. I'm just trying to be cool now."
He looked at me confused.
"No, listen. I didn't get to put it in!"
"People were watching."
"What? Who was watching what?"
"Nyno and his Alpha boys.
It was like they were keeping eyes on the all
the computers making sure nothing was tampered with."
"Oh thank god."
I let out a sigh of relief. It was so fucking close. I didn't want to risk it with Sampson. We made our way back to the seats.
Just as I smiled to Sampson and opened my mouth to tell him that everything was going to be ok, I realized that everything wasn't ok.
A voice came on the loudspeaker.
SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE IT UP THE BUTT FROM THE ALPHAS NOW DON'T THEY?"
Just at that moment something started to play. My mouth shocked and my heart broke into two as I realized that this was a video...a video of me fucking Sampson...just yesterday. A VIDEO THAT I HAD NO IDEA EXISTED.
THE FUCK WAS THIS EVEN SLIGHTLY POSSIBLE!
Sometimes it's heaven sent...then we...head back to hell again...