DISCLAIMER: This story contains adult content.
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The entire auditorium turned to us. Sampson and I. I could see his face grow red in complete embarrassment.
How did this happen?
How did me fucking him show up on screen? We hadn't recorded anything. I didn't get it. I could see Dani standing there. She actually had the audacity to block my view from Sampson at that moment.
"That is real fucked up Syn," she stated, "That is real low..."
I looked over at Sampson.
People were pointing to him, pointing him out. They were laughing, giggling. In no time at all he seemed to completely lose all of his manhood.
I ignored Dani, moving past her and moving to Sampson. I tried to touch him and grab him and for some dumb reason I felt like that'd make things better.
It didn't. He shoved me hard away from him and turned to walk away. The video was still playing. His screaming to me penetrating him was still playing. It was clear that it was his first time really taking it like that.
No one understood how sensitive of a moment that was for Sampson but me.
"Sampson, that wasn't fucking me! How can you not believe that?"
It was too late.
He walked away immediately, ignoring me.
I reached out for him but instead I saw Angelina. She grabbed me by the hand and pointed towards the Alphas.
"It was them!" she stated.
She cried it out in a loud voice. I turned around to see Nyno and the other Alphas. I couldn't believe they got that out there just to embarrass the Kappas.
A sex tape with me and my goddamn boyfriend!
I started walking to them...anger built up inside of me. I could see Angelina and Khan trying to hold me back and persuade me not to but the anger was just so fucking much. I couldn't handle it.
I got close enough just to look at Nyno.
The anger in my eyes said it all.
"It wasn't anything personal," Nyno said, "I really like you bro. You should still pledge Alpha..."
"I'm going to get you motherfucker..."
Nyno shrugged his shoulders, "Oh well. Have it your
way. But listen...Alphas are on top this
"I'm going to get you..."
I got to the room and realized the video camera behind my dresser. They had to have put it in there that day that Nyno wanted to `talk'. I couldn't believe I had been so stupid. I picked up the camera and launched it, barely missing Khan.
"Whoa, Syn, calm down."
I was in tears. I couldn't believe how pissed off I was.
I had been putting down my guard at this campus. These weren't some hundred year old voodoo priestesses or some anti-gay cult who foresees floods. These were fuck frat boys and they had outsmarted me.
"I can't believe Sampson stormed off like that," Angelina started, "He didn't even give you a chance to explain. That was wrong."
I looked over at my phone. I had sent him 25 text messages and called him 30 times. He hadn't even replied to one of them. Sampson always replied to my fucking messages.
"I can't do this. He's pissed."
I felt weak. Amazing how you can be the strongest person in the world one minute and then the next minute you are just weak...all based off love.
Khan shook his head, "I should have known something was suspicious with those Alphas. They were watching so closely."
"You warned me about their character. I should have fallen back."
Khan shook his head and walked over to me putting his hand on my shoulder, "Don't blame yourself buddy. This isn't your fault. At all."
Angelina nodded in agreement, "It's all a mix up."
"Then why do I feel so fucked up?"
I picked up my phone calling Sampson again.
I got his voice mail. I launched the phone across the room. I was bugging him. He wasn't going to talk to me. I knew damn well he wasn't just going to talk to me.
I fell down onto my knees crying.
I was such a fucking idiot.
Angelina crossed her arms obviously disturbed and surprised to see me emotional. Hell, I was surprised and disturbed to see me emotional. Where was the cold Syn? I had left all that in New Orleans like and idiot. I had lowered my guard and now here I was.
And idiot...in love.
"I'm going to his dorm," I replied.
Angelina stepped in my way, "Syn. You didn't do anything wrong. Stop it. Give him his time and if he loves you he'll see the truth without you pushing it."
"Get out of my way."
`She's right," Khan stated, walking in my way as well, "Let it breathe. You go down there now and you'll just make it worse."
I was blinded. I had so much anger, so much embarrassment.
I had put down my guard...even for them. Why the fuck HAD I let all these people in? All these posers here trying to pretend to care about me.
"Get the fuck out of my way," I told both of them.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Great...Porter. He walked into the room as though he was actually welcomed. He thought he was so damn grand to just WALK right into our room.
"Is everything ok?" Porter asked.
"Yes," Angelina replied.
"NO!" I stated, "Get these two out of my way. I have to go see Sampson. Once I see him, he'll know."
Khan took a step forward, "You can't always force things your way Syn. That boy is pissed right now...let him calm down."
"I don't know you people," I replied, "And you don't know me. Don't sit here and pretend you know me. You sit here and pretend like I'm friendly. I'm not friendly. I'm not a people person. I hate you guys and just haven't realized it yet. That's all this `friendship' was. Trusting motherfuckers. This is where it got me..."
"Syn, some people are really here for you," Angelina replied.
"Oh please. Deal with your own lives. Khan you haven't been with a girl since forever and Angelina you've liked Porter for how long and you haven't told him. You will get out my way...or you won't like the type of person I turn into..."
The threat was taken loud and clear.
Angelina was the first to step aside. Khan was more reluctant but he stepped out of my way as well shaking his head the entire time he did it.
I started to make my way down the hall, when I saw Porter grab me. His long dreds swayed over my eyes so by the time he stopped me right before I hit the stairwell, I was kind of confused on who it was that was stopping me.
It was weird because in all honesty I didn't think he would stop me.
"Syn, man don't be so rough on them," Porter explained, "I know you're in pain right now. Sometimes you have to let people in."
"Why the fuck do you care?" I asked him, "Aren't you a dickhead?"
"I mean you looked like a dickhead. You act all hard but once you're satisfied you turn into a big softy."
He shook his head, "Syn, don't be like that."
His face was all serious. I looked around wondering where Steven Spielberg was. This guy had to be putting on the performance of a lifetime. He was trying to win best actor. He had on the moping face and all.
"You played me boy. Or don't you remember. YOU kissed me."
He shook his head, "Listen, I never did that before. You don't understand what it's like. It was horrifying. For a moment I was scared."
"Oh...so you aren't a
dickhead. You are a pussy."
"Oh I guess it's just attack Porter day huh? I was trying to help you. You talk about me
acting hard but look at you Syn. You are here in tears."
They found it so interesting to keep pointing out my flaws. The thing about tears is that once they started they had a way of not ending. But why did human bodies seem to betray the mind so much.
You sit there and say, `don't cry' `don't cry' but your body just proves otherwise. Puts you on blast. This had to be the most embarrassing day of my life.
"I just look so weak to you."
"I never saw you like this," Porter stated, "And there's nothing wrong with that yo. Come here boy."
Just at that time he was did something that I didn't expect. He pulled me close and he hugged me. It was a strange hug.
It lasted a little longer then I expected. He played with my hair nudging it in his old joking way like he used to do. I guess I should have found this relaxing. I didn't. It was awkward. It was too awkward.
"Get off of me," I stated, "Please..."
"Same old Syn..."
Same old Syn? He didn't know a fucking thing about me.
I walked away completely annoyed with these people in this fucking lunatic ward. Where did they find these people?
"Come on, he doesn't want to see you," I heard Quan say.
He was standing outside of Sampson's room. God knows why the fuck he was protecting him. How the fuck could Quan sit here and protect him from me?
Quan was the only one out there. I guess no one else was around, this was a much more quiet "normal" dorm then ours. By the look of Quan wearing pajamas, it was obvious that he stayed in the same dorm as Sampson. How convenient.
A part of me kept thinking...maybe they are having an affair. Maybe this entire time Sampson had been playing me, but right now all that stuff was thrown out of the window. All of that stuff was thrown right outside of the window.
"Let me explain something to you," I stated in a relatively low and serious tone, "He's mine."
"What does that mean?"
don't know what you're terms of endearment are over in undercover fag land," I
stated, taking a step close to him, "But he's my property. This isn't your
He looked like he found this amusing. That was until he saw how serious I was. No. I wasn't making a joke. I didn't find it funny.
"I have you all figured out," I stated, looking him in his eyes, "I know that everything's not alright. Don't look at me that way, like I'm blind. Like I can't see what you're doing."
He gave me this weird look. I could see right through him. It was ridiculous.
you see what I'm doing do you?"
"You want my fucking man..."
|He laughed and laughed. It was like Quan really wanted to play innocent. As though he wasn't trying to get into Sampson. And Sampson was just the biggest idiot, trusting everything that he said.
He laughed completely again, "Can I admit something to you?"
"What is it?"
"Ok, I'll admit it...I don't want you two together. You got me. There's always been this twinge...of jealousy."
My mouth dropped to my ground. Quan's laughter had been reduced to a slight smile now. It was so slight...almost crazy. He gave me this weird look and all of a sudden I knew that all my suspicions were right.
I could punch him right now. Instead I struggled to maintain some type of balance in my own mind. I FUCKING KNEW IT.
I tried to walk past him to Sampson's room.
"Where you think you're going?" he asked me, blocking me, "I told you he doesn't want to see you didn't I?''
"Well I need to let him know what kind of friend he really has."
"He won't believe you. Are you fucking kidding me?"
He laughed again rather loudly. He was really having a good time. The grin on his face was as though this was one of the happiest days of my life. It was like it was one of the grandest days of my entire life.
will believe you."
"It's over between you two...you just don't know it yet. I heard him. It was sad actually. He was saying how he can't deal with you. He bit more then he can chew. He's not happy any longer."
"He didn't say that."
"Yep," he said laughing, "Word for word. He said he doesn't think he loved you anymore."
That was when I did it.
I surprised myself actually as my fist slammed into Quan's face. He seemed even more surprised than me. In more of a surprise, he fell backwards and slammed his back into Sampson's door.
I had hit him as hard as I could. My own knuckles were beginning to swell almost immediately. I must have gotten way into some kung fu or something. I didn't get it.\
"Yo what the fuck!" Sampson stated running out of the room looking at me.
"Watch your fucking man, Sampson!" Quan yelled all of a sudden.
I hadn't hit him that hard. He was being such a fucking drama queen. He grabbed his nose! I saw his nose! It wasn't bleeding. Why the hell was he now acting all of a sudden like it was bleeding.
"His nose is not bleeding, look," I stated moving closer to Quan to move his hand.
Just at that moment was when Sampson blocked me, pushing my hand away from Quan. PUSHING ME. Sampson never pushed me like that before. He cleared me completely out of the way.
"Quan, I'm sorry yo, this is crazy."
"Get off me," Quan stated, "This shit is crazy. I can't take this anymore."
He started to walk away and I could see Sampson chasing it, yelling out his name behind Quan, wanting Quan to come back so he could apologize yet again or something.
Quan ignored him completely though and went into a room down the hall...obviously his room. He locked the door behind him.
I crossed my arms and looked over at Sampson, "I can explain. He admitted it! Sampson, he admitted liking you and saying all that stuff. I'm not lying about that stuff yo. I swear on everything."
"You stooping to a new low yo," Sampson stated walking back to his room, "I swear...it must have been those Alphas or something. You turning just like them."
that wasn't me, that video...it wasn't me that did all that."
"How would I know that Syn?" He asked shaking his head, "Look at you. You just so sneaky, so shady all the time. It is something you would do. That video release of us having sex has Syn written all over it."
I couldn't get it. Sampson was mad. He was actually shaking.
He wouldn't even look me in my eyes. He didn't believe a word I was saying.
I almost wanted to cry.
"It has me written over it. You really think I'd be so low. You really think I'm that much of a fucked up person."
"Yes," he replied, "And it hurts, but I do. Quan told me. You probably did this cause you are jealous of our friendship. That's all it is. That boy is straight. What point don't you get about that? He is FAR from being gay."
I screamed it at the top of my lungs. It was so fucking frustrating, telling someone something and they aren't trying to hear you.
"There you go with that bullshit," Sampson stated, "You're really losing it because of me. Maybe...maybe I'm turning you crazy. Maybe it's me."
"Fuck are you talking about? Before you start going Dr. Phil, just believe me. You have to believe me. You love me don't you? Believe me."
"This isn't about love. You're doing crazy things Syn. You're acting crazy. Like you are stooping down to lows I never thought even YOU would go to."
"I'M NOT FUCKING LYING TO YOU!"
" You know what. I can't do this anymore..."
"What? What are you saying?"
over. That's what I'm saying," Sampson replied, "I just can't do all of this
bullshit anymore. I love you, I'll
always love you. But honestly, I don't want us to be together anymore. Just go...I
don't know...live your life."
I took the stab to the heart harder then I had expected.
I mean by the way he turned around and was about to go into his room without letting me even reply felt like he was twisting the dagger even more into my soul.
you fucking serious, you dickhead," I stated, all of a sudden anger building up
where sadness once was, "We've known each other for years...YEARS. And you trust this `DL brother' over me?"
He turned to me, "Bye Syn."
"You don't say bye to me...you dickhead! I fucking hate your guts. You might as well fuck him."
I knew being angry with Sampson didn't really work. He didn't respond to that stuff, but still the outrage was overwhelming. He wasn't believing a word I said about anything.
That was when he closed the door...right in my face.
He just shut it. He just blocked me out.
It was needless to say I spent an hour calling him every curse word I knew. That was when one of the little lame college students came out of their room asking if I was ok. I barked at them and they immediately called security. Security spent 20 minutes trying to take me out of the dorm.
I cried the entire time.
He was really done with me. The idea hadn't really sunken in as much as it could have. I knew I never really felt as...low...as I did before. It seemed like the entire world was turning on me.
The world had a hidden vendetta. Everyone was out to get me.
It was ridiculous.
And just at that moment as I sat on that street corner, I saw someone come out of their building. And as I turned to see who it is, I was blinded by the bright street light shining in my face.
I hoped for a minute that it was Sampson...but it wasn't.
As the person approached me, I could see that it was instead Dani.
She stopped over to me and silently, surprisingly took a seat beside me. She reached out into her pocket and pulled out a cigarette. Her eyes were misty as though she had just been crying. She lit the cigarette.
"You think Quan's gay?" she asked.
"Yeah...why do you ask?"
I was surprised. Why was she talking to me? She knew I didn't like her. She knew I really, really didn't like her.
"What if I told you I've thought the same way?"
She shrugged, "I am beginning to. Syn, there are some things that you need to know..."
Please join us at the Yahoo Group...for discussion of the story and to give some feedback about what you think about the story, as well as other stories by this author.