Date: Sat, 13 Jun 2009 14:23:49 +0000 From: Steve Thomas Subject: Hey Mikey 25 This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings,beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it mightnot be all that pure! There may be graphic sexual encounters at timesbetween males, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If youare too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kindof story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - -ENJOY! Cast of characters: Michael Timothy Headly -- That's me! (Sometimes ... Ronny) Spike -- (Diane, my big sister) Mary -- My mom Tom -- My father. Gilbert Blank -- Friend from Woodland Joey Gray -- Gilbert's "little brother" Bobby Pepper -- New friend Arlo Gates - Orienteer Randy Samson -- Arlo's roomie James Samson (Jay) -- Randy's adopted brother and ... My Twin! (Shawn) Blair -- New Roomie (Todd is his friend from high school) Jacky -- one of five brothers and a sister: Jared, Jed, Jimmy, Jock and Julie Jody -- Dude from Hurricane Harbor ... From Chapter 24: When Jay's dad padded back to his room, he closed his own bedroom door. We started to make out like desperate lovers again, but Jay finally said, "We should stop." He spooned me from the back and I was almost asleep when I felt the whole bed shaking. At first I wondered, but no -- he was still spooning me -- he couldn't be doing that. Then I realized that he was sobbing. I turned, but he said, "No -- don't! I just -- I just -- am going to -- miss you, Mikey!" and he then started to cry again, but more audibly. I hugged his arm that was over my side. I felt his bone, ever present, pressing on my crack. I took his hand and put it on my throbbing tool. He pulled it back, but I was insistent. He left it there and stroked slowly. When it was obvious that I had finished, he said, "G'night Ronny." "G'night, Shawnie!" Chapter 25 The Greyhound itinerary I chose wouldn't be leaving until late morning. I decided that since I was traveling by bus, I'd take the scenic route. It would take a week. Randy had already said his good byes last night, but when Jay asked him to go to the bus station with us, he jumped at the chance. We got there plenty early, and my bus was late arriving, so we had plenty of time for our farewell. For most of it, Jay and I say holding each other. No one took notice because we were, by far, some of the least strange looking there at the bus station. When the bus pulled in, we stood and went to the line behind the gate I'd be departing through. Three young men, holding each other like they'd never see each other again. We all knew that we'd see each other in late August when Randy and his whole family would come out to Williams for the wedding ... but we hugged and hugged for the whole 20 minutes that I waited to board the bus. Randy hugged me from behind and of course my mirror image from the front. Not much was said. I think we were all afraid to say anything, for fear we'd all start crying. We did some of that too ... mostly Jay. Both his brother and I stroked his neck, face and back ... and yes ... his bum I extricated myself from them when the line started to quickly move toward the door. They went outside and watched me walk back to a seat, and stayed until the bus left the station. It never occurred to me that there would not be at least someone to pick me up at the closest bus station in Marysville on a Monday afternoon.. It was my own fault. I had not communicated to my family when I was coming -- or as they reminded me ... IF I was coming. Mom and Dad and Diane had taken a trip up to the redwoods for a couple furlough days that my dad got off due to our dear governator's way of handling the state budget. I was able to talk to them, thank God for cell phones! Dad said he'd pay for a taxi for me. It was only less than 30 miles, but I hated to have him do that, and the only person I knew to contact would have been Bobby Pepper. "Hello?" "Bobby?" "Is ... this ... Mike!" "Yeah, Dude! I have a - " "MIKEY!!!" He hollered into the phone. Oh God, it's great to hear from you. You're the last one I'd have guessed would be calling me -- I wondered if I'd ever hear from you again!" That seemed a little over the top to me, but you'll soon see why. "I have a huge favor to ask you." "What is it, buddy?" He said, sounding happier to hear from me than I would have ever expected. "I -- um -- did something stupid and sort of surprised Mom and Dad with a visit ... and -- as it turned out -- they aren't home ... Diane either. They're up north for a couple days." I said it as if he should understand what I needed. "Uh-huh. And -- um -- what is it you need from me?" "I -- um -- well, that is -- could you come get me from the Greyhound station in Marysville?" "DUDE!! You rode the bus!!??" He said ... as if he were reacting to me telling him I had AIDS! "Sorry -- it's all I could afford." "Where are you now?" "I'm at the bus station!" "Shee-yit! Get out of that bug-infested hole! Take your luggage and go somewhere else ... if you can ... and I'm already on my way! Just call back to let me know where you - " "Um -- Bobby? If your pop still has the Escalade, that might be better. I have too much stuff for your `Vette." "Gotcha!" he said. See you in about a half hour. "You can bring along Gary ... if you want. I know he -- well you know. He doesn't like me much, but -- he even likes it less if he knows you and I have - " "Um -- he won't be -- um -- coming -- I'll see you! Call me to tell me where you are!" and he hung up. I called him back. "The bus station is on fifth street and there is a Veterans Park two blocks away. I'm there now. I saw the big pearl white Escalade 10 minutes later. Bobby got out and ran to me. He practically jumped into my arms! "MIKEEEEEEE!" He cried. I was a little overwhelmed, but happy to see him too. He opened the tail gate and I loaded in my stuff. After we were about halfway home, I asked again about Gary. "So -- what's going on with you and Gary? Break up?" Bobby was very quiet for a few moments. Then I saw tears forming. Quietly he said, Gary drove up to Red Bluff with his dad a couple months ago -- and never came back." "Never came back? Didn't you call him or - " "His dad said it was suicide, and I guess I should accept that." Bobby pulled over and stopped. "Gary was living with us for awhile -- because his dad and mom kicked him out. Gary was very -- um -- secretive and paranoid about ANYONE finding out about him -- and us -- being gay. He even pounded on me a couple times -- when I wasn't as careful as he thought I should be. He was always sorry after, but ... well, he and I go back to first grade, you know?" he said as if that excused Gary being abusive to him. "Finally Gary told his mom and she went postal on him, and his dad reacted even worse." Bobby looked at me through his teary eyes. "He was with us three weeks and his dad called acting all repentant and invited him to go camping. He never returned." "Wow! So ... do you think his dad - " "Everyone believes what his dad said. They said he committed suicide because he was despondent about his grades. I don't believe that for a minute?" "You think it was because of being gay?" "You don't want to know what I think!" He said, coldly. "No!" I said. "You don't think ... his dad ..." "Don't I?" He said. "When he went with his dad, he was so happy! He thought he was forgiven ... that's what his dad pretended the camping trip was about. His dad said he jumped off a cliff." "And you think he was pushed?" "Either that or ... he fell. He fell into the River -- his dad said! He was never found. But anyway ... He sure as fuck wasn't that unhappy! We loved each other! We both were getting ready to graduate. It was a happy time. Grades? HAH! His weren't THAT bad. Never kept him off the football team! That's all he cared about, really -- oh ... and me!" "I'm so sorry, Bobby! I wish I could know something to make you feel better." "Just being here helps more than I imagined possible! I have no one to talk to! You know how it is here! I'm not fucking paranoid like Gary was ... but - " he saw me wince at his language. "Sorry -- I kind of forgot you don't like that kind of language. But really -- there's no one to talk to ... about anything." "You could have talked to my sister." I said. "She always liked you." "Well, I never thought about that, but -- my parents know and even though my dad was a butt about it -- at first -- I can talk to them. But it's just not the same. No one else understands -- like you do -- you know what it feels like to be ... this way." "You still have trouble saying it, don't you, Bob. We're gay!" "Gay means happy ... and I'm not all that damned happy!" He said. "Hey! Maybe you can come over and stay with us until your family gets home!" "I'll think about that!" I said. He stopped in our driveway and helped me take my stuff in. As we were coming out of my room, I said, "Okay." "Okay?" "I'll come over to your place for a day or two -- `til they get home." "Yay!" He said and turned around like in a little pirouette. He fell hard against me and then breathed deep. "Damn! I forgot how much I liked that CK One on you!" He said and he threw his arms around me. Funny thing is -- we both use CK One, but it smells different on him. We inhaled each other's scent and somehow his lips found mine. And ... Well ... you KNOW I won't turn down a kiss! Before you knew it, we were back in my room, tearing each other's clothes off. We both were wounded, hurting from missing someone ... and we were only too happy to salve our wounds with ... each other! I sucked him off, as if I were a baby sucking on a pacifier, and getting at least as much satisfaction! But ... that still wasn't enough for Bobby. "Mike -- please -- fuck me!" He looked at me, tears running down his face. "Please! Gary used to - " He almost had me at the second please. But then he mentioned Gary. "No -- I can't do that, Bobby. Please don't ask again. Almost anything else." "I understand ... I'm sorry ... you're right. I'd only close my eyes and pretend it was Gary ... although as big as he was ... his dick isn't quite THIS big!" He giggled and went down on me, quickly getting me off. He swallowed my essence noisily - as if he were starved for it. "When are you parents coming home again?" "Tomorrow maybe." "Mom?" I said "Oh, hi! When are you guys coming home?" "We'll probably stay one more night. We saw the redwoods then came over here to Big Sur. We'll be there Wednesday afternoon at the latest." "Cool! Bobby is gonna stay here until that time," "You are such a good boy, Michael! I guess he's told you about that Gary boy -- his best friend. Be nice to him. No one knows for sure what actually happened." "Thanks, Mom. See you when you get here." "I'm giving the phone to your sister. She wants to say hi." "Hey M-T-Head!" Said Diane. "Hi Spike!" I said to get even. "Bobby McVette is staying over huh? Do I need to keep that under wraps ... I mean ... I like that kid, but we both know the only real reason he'd be spending the night with you!" "Diane! Can Mom hear you?" "Naw -- I walked outside. I've been taking long walks every day." "Yeah, keep the girlish figure!" "Yeah -- well there's that. But it also gives Mom and Dad some alone time." "You're something else, Sissy! And -- yes -- do keep it under wraps!" "Yeah, you don't want that sweet twin of yours getting the right idea about it!" "Diane ... he's going away for two whole years! He doesn't expect me to put myself into cold storage while he's gone! He told me not to wait!" I said defensively, then ... "But -- you're right ... I DON'T want him to have to think about that!" "We're good for a couple nights, Bob-Bob!" I said, remembering how Gary hated it when I called him that. "Good! I called Mom and they're expecting us for dinner tonight." He said grinning. "So now let's get cleaned up. I haven't showered with you for over a year!" We took a long, sensual shower, both got off again with hand crafted, hair-conditioned wanks! I forgot how I loved kissing his cushier-that-average lips! "I've not seen Robert looking so happy in weeks, Michael!" Said Mrs. Pepper. Bobby's dad just rolled his eyes. I know he figured it out! His mom continued, "I think you're just what the doctor ordered!" I grinned. "Thanks for dinner, Mrs. P. I'm also glad to see Bobby. I wasn't looking forward to spending my first night home alone!" His dad shook his head knowingly, and said, "You could always stay here." "NO!" exclaimed Bobby. "I mean -- um -- no -- that wouldn't -- I mean -- Mike wants to sleep in his own bed for a change!" Mr. Pepper was smirking by now and when I said, "I do kind of miss it." I thought he was going to laugh out loud. This man had come a long was from last summer when he had to be shamed into accepting his son's gayness -- by a business associate. After dinner we played some high tech video games that were loaded onto their entertainment system. It was after ten when we excused ourselves and went back to my parents' house. We took Bobby's Corvette back and as soon as we were driving away, Bobby started to giggle and guffaw. "My dad knew exactly what was going on and my mom is so oblivious!" "Aw -- she probably knew!" I said. "Your dad was being too obvious!" "No -- she's a dumb as s fence post! When we got in my front door, as earlier, we were all over each other. I always had it in the back of my consciousness ... we both were in need -- of something! So I gave myself permission to just go with it ... up to a point. That night and the next we pretty much kept things the same -- kissing, cuddling, wanking, sucking ... and both of us loving the attention. I felt more at home or ... comfortable -- or something -- with Bobby, than I did with Jacky, jock, or Jody. I was pretty sure that Bobby was a lot more experienced ... with Gary ... than I was -- whereas with the other guys -- they all looked to me for guidance. Wednesday night, we started out with a shower, as he had been working all day and needed it. I had spent the day trimming up Mom and Dad's yard -- both front and back. We first washed each others (um -- you fill in the blank!) then started our romp with him dropping to his knees. He first hugged my butt, with his cheek in my crotch. He kneaded my butt cheeks for a time, then started nuzzling in my pubes. Then after pulling the hair there with his teeth a little and running his tongue up and down my ... by this time ... throbbing boner -- he slowly made his way up to my navel, and then my titties -- which he playfully gnawed at the small areolas and then sucked in each nipple over and over until it was harder than my stiff bone! He then kissed and sucked all around my neck until he got to my mouth. When I presented some tongue, he sucked on it like it was my second penis! He then slowly pushed me down in the direction he had just come from, and I did all that he did in reverse ... to him. When I came to his boner, I engulfed it and slowly -- very slowly -- sucked it in and blew it out, all the while tonguing it as much as possible. He was squealing and begging me to get him off. I came back up to his mouth and kissed him deeply, all the while stroking his meat with hair conditioner. We kissed like that for as long as it took to get him to his point of no return, then I dropped to my knees again and bobbed on him until he was crying out almost like a girl! When he came he lost his strength and almost fell. I remembered what Jack had done for me, so I guided him under me and I kissed him deeply as I finished him off with my hand, all the while with the warm water spraying us from above. The water started to get cold, so I turned it off and we dried off and went to the bedroom. He was about to get serious about finishing me off when we heard a car in the driveway. I peeked out the window and it was my family getting home. We stopped all our shenanigans and put on full jams. It's hot enough in Williams this time of year that we just lay on top of the covers. By the time they got in the house, our breathing had slowed sufficiently, that I flew to the door and hugged Mom -- then Diane and lastly -- even though his body was stiff as a board -- my dad. "C'mon Dad loosen up. I love you! Don't act like a brick wall! He loosened up a little and I pecked him on the cheek. "Welcome back, sweetheart!" Said my mom. "I thought Bobby was going to be here with you tonight?" "He's in there on the bed." "It's kinda early for bed isn't it?" "Bobby has to be up early in the morning to go to work. And don't worry -- starting tomorrow, I'll be looking for a job." "Well as it worked out, we brought home some fresh picked strawberries and some ice cream ... vanilla and your favorite, Rocky road!" "Come on out, Bobby -- and let's have some ice cream and strawberries." It was like we were in fourth grade, us in our jams, having dessert with my family. It felt right! We didn't dare tell them that all we had to eat tonight ... so far ... was each other! We went to bed, our tummies satisfied, and we lay side by side ... only holding hands between us ... until everyone else quieted down. It turned out that they had a tiring day too, and were not disappointed that we just wanted to sleep. (Well, okay ... Diane knew different!) As we lay there, not saying anything, he started to sniff. "It's okay Dude." I said, "You gotta let it out eventually -- and you're safe here with me." I said. That gave him permission. He started to quietly sob -- first into his pillow and then I pulled him to me and he cried into my neck. He'd been putting this off for too long! He fell asleep and in the morning, he apologized and was very embarrassed. I told him I understood ... but not how MUCH I understood. I was getting a lot of consolation in Bobby as well! I never minded physical work, so I went out early in the morning and talked to my old employer. He had just lost one of his lawn boys, who decided to move to his university city to get a job for the fall. It felt good to take my shirt off and work in the hot sun again. I forgot how good it felt when the sweat cooled my face and how pleased I was to see my skin darkening in the mirror in the evenings. I though a lot about Gilbert and wondered if he and Joey could still be found in that gay bar off Castro in Frisco. Bobby and I went down there a couple times, but they weren't there. I had Gilbert's number in my cell phone, but it was no longer good. We were both disappointed. Bobby really was eager to see Joey. I felt a little strange about that, because I knew what he wanted from Joey. I was actually somewhat relieved, because I was worried about Bobby getting too attached to me. Once he determined that we probably were not gonna find them, his whole demeanor seemed to change slightly. On one hand he wasn't so clingy with me -- emotionally -- (we still "clung" to each other a lot!) but on the other, he was just acting a lot nicer toward me as a person -- like he actually liked me for a friend, but no longer desperate. And ... that really turned me on! I didn't mind what Bobby and I had become ... for the time being. I kind of didn't want to get too attached, knowing that we'd be going in completely different directions in the fall: I to Chicago and Bobby's dad got him into Stanford, which is in Palo Alto, California, near San Jose. We were just great friends and ... sex buddies! Bobby was definitely ahead of me in what he wanted to do. Bobby also was used to getting what he wanted. Even Gary -- who was more wowed than I was by his dad's money, gave in to Bobby. I liked Bobby a lot, and hated to deny him all he wanted, but there was that one thing that I was not willing to do. He whined about this, but didn't push me on it. I suppose if we weren't stuck in Williams, he might have found someone else who would give him what he was used to. No many days went by that I didn't talk to Jay, Randy and ... of course my sister was there constantly. I was getting a little worried about Jay, because he was dating girls again and ... obviously not comfortable with it. Or ... maybe I was projecting that on him. I hoped he couldn't feel my misgivings -- from 2000 miles away. "Randy, is Jay happy?" I asked one day that Jay was not with him. After a long pause, Randy said, "I -- um -- I'm a little worried about him." "ME TOO!" I averred. "What do you think is bothering him?" "I wish I could say it was only one thing. He definitely is not getting along well with this whole dating girls scene. But what bothers me is that he seems a little TOO anxious to get to Australia. It's like he feels he HAS to go on this mission. I really WANT him to go, but I want HIM to want it. His excitement seems to me to be mostly for his own convincing ... you know? I don't feel like I can even try to dissuade him -- but -- maybe you can somehow say something. "I worry that he might be feeling things from me -- but this far away ... I'm not sure. I'd hate to think that my worries were adding to his frustration." "He told me about Bobby." Now it I who was stunned. I hadn't as much as mentioned Bobby to Jay ... OR Randy! "What -- um -- er -- what did he tell you?" He said that you have an old friend -- Bobby -- who he met when he was out there with us. He said you haven't told him about your relationship with Bobby yet -- and I know that's bothering him. I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, Mikey! But maybe you should get straight with him about Bobby. "He's just confused ... and a little hurt, I think, Mikey. He says what he feels is that you and this Bobby -- are just friends but there's something else going on. He says that Bobby has long hair -- I'm not sure why he mentioned it, but he said when he saw him at Thanksgiving time, his hair was shorter." "Omigod!" I said "He can actually see what I see!" "It's more like he can dream what you dream.." "Oh crap! How can I - - how can I even control that? And why don't I see what my brother is worried about ... why can he do it better?" "How did you know he was not happy?" "Um -- well -- just an impression." I said. "And you don't think you have the same talent?" "Randy -- I'm pretty sure that Bobby has not cut his hair since Gary died." "Gary?" "Bobby's -- um -- well, - boyfriend. But he -- um -- well, it was called a suicide. Bobby's not so sure. Anyway, the town is accepting Gary's dad's story, and - " I told Randy all I knew. "His own DAD was implicated? Geez! Didn't the coroner have anything to say about that?" "Well, in the first place -- his dad is well respected and of course there is no body to - " "Wha-at?! No Body??!!" "He jumped (that's the official story according to his dad) off a very high cliff into the upper Sacramento River -- just south of the Shasta Dam. His body was never found." "And -- are you and Bobby -- um -- close?" "He's a good friend -- maybe now a very good friend." "Mikey -- please don't be upset with this question but -- do you and this Bobby -- um -- have sex?" "Oh Gosh Randy! Has he seen that too?" "He hasn't seen anything as far as I know. He just gets impressions." "Shit!! Excuse me. Um -- we play around a little, but -- not any more than even you and I have done. Do you understand what I'm saying?" "Yeah -- your saying you haven't done -- um -- you haven't um -- fucked -- with him - yet. Sorry for the graphic words, Bro!" Randy sounded embarrassed for even having said the word. "Yeah, well -- um -- yeah, it's okay -- you have the right impression. We haven't -- um -- done that. And unless things change a lot -- we won't be." "Mikey -- I won't tell Jay any of this. And I'm not sure what -- if anything -- you can say to him. But maybe -- you can -- I dunno -- he seems to still feel like he owes you something." "I know." "You know? You can feel that much?" "I know because I feel the same. Okay -- I don't know either ... what I'll say to him -- but I'll try -- to say something. Randy thanks for talking to me. I love you!" "Love you too, bud! Bye!" Shit! Shit Shit! SHIT SHIT SHIT! I don't want to be a burden to my brother! What if he decided not to go on his mission? I'd always feel like it was my fault! And maybe he would too! "Honk Honk!" I had taken a break from mowing a lawn, to call Randy. I was still in a daze from that call when I heard the horn. I knew that sound well. It was a certain Corvette! I turned and Bobby was waving furiously and ... Wait a minute! Is that Gary in the other seat? It couldn't be! It wasn't! It was another of the footballers -- actually a guy I graduated with. They pulled over and stopped. "Hey Mike! This is - " "I know Rex." I said. "Hey Rex." I never liked Rex much. The feeling was mutual. "Hi Michael. Haven't seen much of you around since graduation." "Yeah, I moved to Chicago." "But you're back! I swear -- no one can get away from this fucking town!" "I'm only back for the summer. I'm going to Northwestern." "Oh -- yeah -- that's a business college -- or somethin', ain't it?" FOOTBALLERS! "Yeah -- something like that!" "Well, you'r lucky! Most of us gotta do something' like ol' Gary -- to get outa this hell-hole! I quickly looked at Bobby. He had an excruciatingly painful expression. But he still had to act like it wasn't that big a deal. "Yeah -- well, that was too bad about Gary. I heard he got accepted to UC San Diego. Hoped to break in to the Chargers that way?" "I guess. Anyway -- good seein' yah, Headly! We better get to practice, Pepper!" And they sped off. Later that evening, Bobby popped over -- as usual. I hopped in his car and he headed for the high school. That's where we went when our parents were both home. We "hung out" under the bleachers -- reminiscent of a year earlier. As soon as I was in the car, I asked, "What's up with the T-Rex?" "He and I are helping the coach with the frosh recruits. While what's left of our team works out, Rex and I put them through the mill. We call it basic training ... they call it Hell week! We all had to do it." "You never played football!" I said. "I was the manager. That's how come I knew all the footballers!"? "So -- there's nothing between you and T-Rex?" "Good effin' no! He got drunk last weekend and came on to me in the park, but he denies it now! What's -- I mean -- you seem stressed. What's up?" "Oh -- it's my brother." I said, as we exited his car and we started toward the bleachers. "That would be your twin -- that I met last year? What's wrong with him? He isn't sick or something ... ?" "No -- it's not like that. We -- er -- have this -- um -- kind of psychic -- or, um -- ESP thing between us." "KEWL!" said Bobby. "I mean -- well, it sounds pretty cool. What's the problem?" "Bob -- we -- erm -- should be -- together." "You mean like -- live closer? I thought you said he's going to Australia." "He is -- but that's not what I mean. We're both gay and ... we're really in love -- with each other." "Well, Fuck! I mean -- sorry -- but -- why the f -- I mean why in HELL is he going - " I choked up. We walked in silence until we got into the shelter of under the bleachers. "I'm sorry, Mike -- but -- Why's he going?" "Oh -- it's all tied up in his religion. He's a Mormon, you know?" "Oh! Oh God! Now it's all coming clear! He feels guilted into going by his family!" "No -- it's not that!" "Then by the church. He must feel like it's his duty ... no matter what -- to do this. That's just stupid!" "Bobby, it's probably a little of all of that, but -- I know his mind (you know the ESP thing?) I can feel the love that he has for God -- just as he can feel the love I am developing for you. And he's going because he truly believes that God want's him to do this." Do you believe that God wants him to -- um -- What? What did you just say?" "I said, he truly believes - " "No -- no! I mean -- you just said that you are starting to ... love me?" "I just don't feel right -- giving it away -- while he still loves me! And I can feel that too!" "But ... you ARE starting to love me? You did say that -- right? Did you mean that?" "I did -- but -- I'm afraid to let it get any more -- um -- serious -- quite yet." "That's amazing, because I have been feeling the same. And it has caused me a lot of grief, too. It seems too soon after Gary's -- um -- been gone -- to -- fall for someone else." "I've kind of worked it out in my head." I said. "But -- what's in my head and what's in my heart ... are two different things." "Worked WHAT out in your head?" Bobby asked. "I -- um -- think that both you and I needed each other -- right now -- at this point in our life. We needed SOMETHING -- that no one else could give us." I said. "and I'm not talking about the sex. As good as it is -- we both know that we could get that from -- from -- well, others. "But I think that in both our cases, we were so secure in out love for our lovers -- you with Gary and I with my Jay-Jay -- that we had no reason to distrust love. Love has treated us good -- so we trusted it -- or something like that -- and we both know each other enough -- and trust each other enough -- that it was easy to - " "THAT'S IT!" He exclaimed! "That's how I feel! I've been feeling guilty about falling for you, but it just feels right!" "And so anyway -- I have to talk with Jay -- and try to determine if I should wait for him -- until after his mission." "Wait - ? Wait for what?" Asked Bobby. "To see if he feels like he's um -- served God enough -- in those two years -- I guess." "Mike -- I have to tell you -- it's very humbling for me to admit it, but -- I feel like I am waiting for you to wait for your brother. And ... I'm not sure I am willing to wait 2 years, but I'll wait for awhile. I -- um -- like you that much ... NO! I LOVE you that much!" "And I guess that's why I am more and more -- um -- falling for you, Bobby. How can I not love someone who loves me?" We then kissed and that led to our usual swapping of juices. **Please don't think I take that as lightly as that. But sometimes the sex can SEEM routine sometimes, but it's exciting and special each time we did it! And of course it satisfied some animal motivation deep within ... as well! "Mikey -- you are my soul mate. We can't lie to each other, can we?" Said Jay. I called him as soon as I got back home. "Ronny, I'd know if you were lying and ... you'd know if I was. So I can't tell you for sure that this is what I -- um -- will always want. Randy's right, it's been eating me up." "I never - " I started. "You didn't have to. I know Randy talked to you. He wanted me to serve a mission -- because he couldn't. Now he wants me to forget about it and ... be with you!" "Randy told you that?" "He didn't have to. I think because of being used to listening for your feelings -- I seem to be able to -- get Randy as well. But I really do love the Lord. I'm not doing this for me ... or Randy. I'm doing it for my love for God. And Ronny -- I wish I could tell you that I'll always feel that way -- just to let you off the hook. Because my sweetest love, I KNOW how you feel. It's exactly why I can't tell you how I'll feel in two years. I know you feel what I feel! I'm sorry it's so frustrating for you ... but it's frustrating to me too, don't you see?" "I can feel it, Jay-Jay." "So -- I'll tell you one more time -- please don't wait for me. If we can never be lovers, it doesn't mean I'll stop loving you. Only that we will be more brothers ... after my mission". He read my mind and answered my next question. "I hope so, Ronny. If we can't be together forever, I want it to be a girl ... and an eternal family." "I think it's the other way around." I said, knowingly, sadly. I knew I could not be with a girl forever. "Shawnie, I will always love you -- and I know you'll always love me." I'll talk to you tomorrow -- or whenever." In truth we had stopped talking every day a couple weeks before. The next day, I took off my shirt and worked as fast and as hard as I could -- as if I could work myself into forgetfulness -- as if I could erase all the tears I shed last night after talking to my sweet twin. I cried myself to sleep and then couldn't eat the nice breakfast Mom made me. I went to Burger King for lunch and forced down a cheese whopper and a chocolate shake, because I knew I couldn't work so hard with no nourishment. I drank lots of water because I knew I was sweating a lot and didn't want to get dehydrated. When I went back to work, after about 45 minutes, I barfed up my burger and shake. I'd done enough work in the morning, in my fury, I was done anyway, so I started walking for home. I got weak, so I stopped at the high school to rest. I found a shady tree and lay down under it. "Mike? MIKEY!" I woke up to see Bobby standing over me. "What have I told you about sleeping on the job?" I smiled weakly. "I'm done. I just -- um -- what time is it?" "6:30." "Crap!" I said. I flipped out my cell phone. "Mom -- yeah sorry. I completely zoned! I fell asleep under a tree at the high school. Yeah, Bobby came by and he's here. Yeah, I think I'm fine." Bobby was frantically pointing to his mouth and grinning. "Yeah I think he wants me to go to dinner with him. I will Mom. Okay. Sorry. Love you too." I looked back at Bobby. "Well, either you A, want to take me out to dinner or B, you really want me to put something in your mouth!" I quipped. "Hop in the car. I'll drive us around back to the bleachers." He said grinning. "I guess you choose `B'" I said. "I choose `A' AND `B'." He said. "But you know how spoiled I am! I like dessert first!" He spread out the blanket on the cool ground deep under the bleachers. We kissed and fondled every part of each other's bodies and then I took him into my mouth first. As I started to bob up and down on him, I felt light headed. Almost without thinking, I slipped my finder into his anal sphincter. He growled and said, "Finally!" I found his `g' spot and started flipping it, as I increased my speed. It crossed my mind once that someone might hear his cries, but I didn't care! When he came, I was unable to catch it all, and it got all over the blanket and my face. He held me close and told me he loved me so much! I believed him! After all, I felt the same didn't I? "Then he said, I think you're ready to make love to me the way we were meant to." His hole was already loose from my earlier play in it, but he still put some lube -- that he produced from somewhere -- in him and on me. He stroked me until I was close and then stopped and lay on his back. "I want to see your face as you make love to me!" he said. I got in position and lifted his legs over my shoulders. I put my bone to his sphincter and pushed. It went limp. Or was it my whole body that went limp? "Mikey? Mikey!" I heard Bobby as if he were speaking to me through a fog. Notes: Comments may be sent to Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks and ... Love, Steve