HOW WILL I GO ON ?

The following fictional story deals with sex among males. If you are offended by such material, are too young, or reside in an area where it is not allowed, depart.


Though not observed in this story, care enough about yourself and humankind to practice safe sex.

Wishing everyone a safe and happy holiday!!

ASH

The author retains all rights. No reproductions or links to other sites are allowed without the author's consent.

Thanks to my big bro Tim for proofing, editing and some suggestions, and to my Dad for his encouraging words.

Thanks again to everyone that's read and emailed about the story. With the posting of each new chapter I've received emails and words of encouragement from both current fans and new readers. It's a real shot in the arm to know just how many people are reading the story.

Ash - asherbradley@yahoo.com


Chapter 9

As Patrick, Hunter and I stood in the hall watching, Shaun spun around a few more times with Bryan in his arms before slowing and allowing his friend to once again touch the floor.  Bryan wasn't off the hook yet, though.  No sooner had his feet touched down than Shaun grabbed his hand and was dragging him down the hall toward where we were standing.  It was cute really!  Bryan was obviously confused and more than a little embarrassed, seeing as he was only dressed in tight briefs.  He had nothing to be embarrassed about.  He looked to be about six foot tall and had a nice, naturally muscled teen body. Get rid of the awful tan lines from his board shorts and he'd be a real hottie. Shaun didn't have a clue about how uncomfortable Bryan was. He was all but bursting with enthusiasm, intent on introducing Bryan to us.

As Patrick, Hunter and I stood in the hall watching, Shaun spun around a few more times with Bryan in his arms before slowing and allowing Bryan to once again touch the floor.  Bryan wasn't off the hook yet, though.  No sooner had his feet touched down than Shaun grabbed his hand and was dragging him down the hall toward where we were standing.  It was cute really!  Bryan was obviously confused and more than a little embarrassed, seeing as he was only dressed in tight briefs.  He had nothing to be embarrassed about.  He looked to be about six foot tall and had a nice, naturally muscled teen body. Get rid of the awful tan lines from his board shorts and he'd be a real hottie. Shaun didn't have a clue about how uncomfortable Bryan was. He was all but bursting with enthusiasm, intent on introducing Bryan to us.
"Hunter, what is Bryan doing here? NO NO! It doesn't matter right now. Bryan, you obviously have met my uncle, do you know Patrick?  He's the guy there on the left, but I want you to meet Mr. Bradley, Ash...Ash Bradley!  I met him on the plane on the way out here, we've had some great talks and he's a great guy and he's helped me accept some things about myself. Did you know that I tried to kill myself? I have so many things to tell you."

This breathless stream of dialog was delivered as Shaun dragged the half naked Bryan down the hall to us. Wrapping his left arm behind my back and drawing Bryan close with the other Shaun succeeded in placing Bryan and me practically nose to nose.

"Ash, this is Bryan Wright. I told you a little about him when we talked in the hospital."

"Bryan, this is Ash Bradley, my savior."

Pulling back just a bit I held out my hand and shook with Bryan.  As we finished Shaun drew his arms, which were still around Bryan and me, closer together, pulling us into a three-way hug, his head resting on my shoulder, Bryan's face pressed into my neck. I could also feel Bryan,s package, barely hidden in his briefs, pressing against my leg as I placed my right arm around him to include him in the embrace that Shaun obviously wanted us to share. As we remained joined in a companionable hug for a few seconds, I could tell that Bryan was slightly excited by the close contact, his cock expanding a bit in his briefs.  He pulled back, his face turning a reasonably bright shade of red, and tried to retreat to the bedroom.  I managed to stop his hasty retreat and pull him close enough to whisper in his ear.

"Bryan, I'm really glad to meet you.  We're all gay here so you don't have to be embarrassed by your `problem.' I'm not so old that I don't remember throwing a rod at every little thing.  If I was standing here just wearing my underwear you'd see that I've got a little rod on myself. Now why don't you take Shaun and go get dressed and meet us in the living room?"

I released my grip on Bryan and he stepped back, not as embarrassed as before, glancing down to check out my package before taking Shaun's hand and turning for the bedroom.  Their stroll to the bedroom was decidedly casual, Bryan's briefs-covered buns twitching sexily with each step.

"I'll bet it took all the restraint those two have to get through the door before they attacked each other." I laughed, looking at Hunter and Patrick, who both were having a tough time restraining themselves from laughing.

"Why don't we get some lunch set up? I have a feeling that `the boys' are going to need sustenance when they finish getting reacquainted."

"Why Hunter, whatever do you mean?" Patrick replied with a credible Mae West impersonation.

We all broke up and headed for the kitchen.




"Bryan, I have so much to tell you about.  This has been a whirlwind time for me. I was so scared coming out here to an uncle I didn't even know.  Then meeting Ash and Patrick and the whole suicide thing, and finding you here today!"

"Shaun, I just can't believe that I managed to find you. It was such a risk coming out here with nothing more than your uncle's name and address.  But when I found out what your Dad and Mom had done I had to try.  I still haven't figured out why your Mom gave me the address, but am I ever glad she did!  The `suicide thing', are you okay?"

"Yeah, Bryan, I'm better than I've been in a while, even with that happening.  Ash and Hunter and Patrick have been wonderful. I've learned so much about myself in a few days.

"I'm glad Shaun, I don't know what I'd have done if I hadn't found you."

As Bryan said this, he embraced Shaun and ended up whispering the last of his statement directly into Shaun's ear.  As he finished speaking, his tongue, seemingly with a mind of its own, flicked out, gently licking and tasting Shaun's ear lobe.  A shudder ran through Shaun's body. He relaxed his body, laying his head on Bryan's shoulder exposing a long, uninterrupted expanse of neck.  Gently, with an almost imperceptible touch, Bryan's tongue began to lick and taste and caress Shaun's neck.  Shaun's low moan let Bryan know that his attention was welcome and urged him to further explore.  From their previous experience Bryan knew that the juncture of neck and shoulder was a tender spot for Shaun, so he eventually wound up there, nibbling and sucking, causing Shaun to gasp and involuntarily arch his neck, giving Bryan even better access..

"Shaun, I've missed you so!  I was such a coward when your father found us. I did exactly what our parents wanted. It was only when I found that you'd been sent away that I realized that I had to come after you. I need you in my life."

While Bryan was saying this, his hands had moved from Shaun's back, caressing, holding, fondling Shaun's body, reacquainting themselves with the muscles and sinew of the boy he loved.  When his hands were low enough he grasped the shirt and pulled it free of the jeans Shaun was wearing, bringing his hands up under the shirt to feel the flesh he craved.

Freeing himself for one moment, Bryan quickly unhooked Shaun's jeans, lowered the zipper and pushed them down, finding Shaun`s rigid cock, unencumbered by underwear.

"Were you expecting action or just trying out a new fashion trend?" he laughed.

"It's a long story babe, I'll tell you later, but turnabout`s fair play,"  Shaun said as his own hands traced their way down Bryan's sides, grasped his underwear and pushed it down to where it fell free. Rising back to full height Shaun and Bryan both pressed their rigid members together, reaching around to grasp taut buttocks for better purchase.  As their hips began an ancient dance their mouths moved close. Light flicks of tongues progressed quickly to a full fledged duel as passions grew.  Both of the throbbing teen cocks were leaking now, spreading lube over the two boys` abdomens, making their coupling slick.  Shaun was the first to give in to the mounting passion, as, throwing his head back he increased his grip on Bryan, forcing their cocks to press even harder together.

"OH BRYAN! Here it comes...been so long!  Can't...hold...back!"

Shaun's back arched, cum rising from his balls, shooting from his narrow piss slit with such force that the first shot rose in the air before landing on his nipples with a splat.  Bryan forced himself from Shaun's waning grasp and quickly leaned over, taking the shooting penis into his mouth, licking the head! "OH...AAAAHHHHH" was the only thing heard from Shaun's mouth as his continuing shots filled Bryan`s mouth to overflowing.

As Shaun finished cumming and relaxed, Bryan straightened up, spat the contents of his mouth into his palm and wrapped his cummy hand around his own super rigid organ. A few strokes was all it took before Bryan was throwing his head back and moaning as his own orgasm overcame him.  Shaun recovered to a point where he understood that Bryan was about to shoot and wasted no time yanking Bryan's hand from his rigid 7 inches.  Shaun's mouth reached Bryan's cock as the first spurt of cum emerged, landing on his extended tougue.  As Shaun's mouth descended onto Bryan's cock,he reveled in the taste of his teenaged lover`s essence mixed with the remnants of his own cum that Bryan had used as lube. "OH Shaun! OH...babe!!....Drink me down!" Bryan's hips jerked as his final spurts entered Shaun.  

"Shaun babe, stop! Too sensitive, man! Kiss me, lover!"

 Shaun wrapped his arms around his lover, embracing Bryan, enjoying his sweaty scent as they kissed.



Ash, Patrick and Hunter were in the kitchen with the remains of sandwiches on the table before them when the boys finally appeared for lunch.  The sunlight shining through the windows seemed somehow dim compared to the smiles on Shaun`s and Bryan`s faces.

"Took a while just to put some clothes on Bryan.  Is everything alright?" Ash couldn't help teasing the boys a bit.

Both boys blushed a deep red, but they looked Ash right in the eye and smiled.

Hunter came to the rescue.

"Guys, there's cold cuts, cheese, bread and some salads here for lunch. Help yourselves. After your done we're going to all head out to the market.  I don't have enough food here to feed us, especially you youngsters evidently!" Hunter let out a deep laugh.

Bryan looked up from the huge sandwich he was creating, stuck out his tongue and gave Hunter a wonderful, loud, wet raspberry, while Shaun casually extended the middle finger of his left hand.  The cold cuts were almost gone and the remainder of the milk bit the dust as all three of the "adults" watched in wonder as the teens devoured their lunch.

After lunch it was decided that Hunter and Patrick would do some grocery shopping while Ash and the boys took a walk and had a talk.

"Steak, potatoes and some green beans for dinner tonight Patrick?  We can grill on the terrace."

"Yeah, Hunter, after the last two days that sounds really nice. We haven't had a decent meal since breakfast yesterday.  I know that Ash will appreciate it, he always loved a nice steak.  How about I grab a nice Zinfandel to go with that."

"Oh yeah, I love a good Zin with my steak.  How long have you lived out here Patrick? Do you do much with wine?"

Patrick laughed "I'm the exception to the rule that everyone in California is from somewhere else.  I was actually born here!  I have to admit that I like wine with my meals...and I know what I like...but I've never `gotten into' wine."

It was Hunter`s turn to laugh! "I know what you mean.  I've got a few friends that spend so much time studying and tasting and analyzing their wine I don't understand how they really enjoy it.  I'm like you. I know what I like but I don't want to study it. I like to try to just relax and enjoy a nice bottle."

Wandering through the gourmet section Patrick grabbed a jar of a nice Jalapeno pepper jelly and some cracked pepper water crackers. "We'll need a hunk of cream cheese to go with this before dinner." Hunter nodded in agreement, a quizzical look on his face.

"WHAT?" Patrick asked after noticing the look.

"Do you like the beach?"

"Yes"

"Walking in the rain?"

"Yes"

"Mushing your ice cream around until it's soft and all the flavors blend?"

A laughed "Yes" one more time from Patrick.

"Taking a drive into the mountains on a cool fall day?"

"Yes...Hunter.  I enjoy all those things."

"So do I Patrick...I think you're my ideal woman!" Hunter said with a huge smile.

Patrick laughed out loud, looking at Hunter with a very happy smile on his face.

"Well, mister, I'm not that easy, but if you were to ask me for a date I might just consider it." A serious look came over Patrick. "It's been a weird time here, Hunter. We've been thrown together because of outside circumstance. It almost seems that fate has played a hand in our getting to know each other."

"Once things calm down, Patrick, I'm gonna wine and dine you properly.  I really want to see if things seem this good when things are `normal'".  Hunter reached over and gave Patrick`s neck a squeeze.

Patrick broke out laughing, almost unable to contain himself.

"What's so funny?"

"It's true, romance can happen in the supermarket!"



"Shaun, Bryan, I feel like I should have some words of wisdom for you two but I don't. Bryan, I've told Shaun my story, so here's the condensed version for you. I `came out' to my college roommate. Turns out we both felt the same about each other. We were for all intents and purposes married for about eight years.  He died not too long ago."

Shaun came over at this point and gave me a hug, which I returned gratefully. He really was a good kid, sensitive, and caring, and I could tell from the way he was looking that he was tired.

"Now, Shaun, I think that Bryan needs an update on things. Do you feel up to filling him in or do you want me too? You're looking a bit tired!"

"Yeah, Ash, I was thinking of lying down for a little while. Doc Selby said that I'd probably need to catch up on some rest.  Even though I slept at the hospital he said that the emotional stress of the last few days would wear me down."

"Why don't you go and lie down then and I'll fill Bryan in on what's happened."

Shaun gave Bryan a peck on the lips, glancing over at me and blushing as he did so, before turning and walking toward the bedroom.

"Well, Bryan, it's you and me.  Why don't we sit in the living room and talk? Do you want something to drink before we get started?"

"Yeah, a Coke or something would be great."

After raiding Hunter's fridge Bryan and I settled at opposite ends of the big comfortable couch in the living room, he with a Coke and some cookies and me with a glass of water. I marveled at the young guy`s appetite. His look, as he settled in, made it obvious that he was a bit uncertain about what we were going to talk about.

"Listen Bryan, I'm going to give you the Readers Digest Condensed version of the whole thing.  Right now you don't need the details.  I met Shaun on the plane when he was coming out here.  I was coming out to visit Patrick, to try and finally get past the death of my partner. Shaun and I struck up a conversation and got to know each other a bit, and because of some turns in the conversation he ended up coming out to me. He was pretty ashamed of being gay, I could tell.  I talked to him and tried to explain that being gay was nothing to be ashamed of.  He was born that way, and the way this parents treated him was their problem, not his.  I didn't initially tell Shaun that I was gay.  I didn't want him to feel that I was just feeding him a line." I laughed a bit. "Patrick blew that away at the airport when we landed. He came right up and gave me a big kiss. Shaun's eyes really went wide at that. I ended up telling Hunter that I was gay and gave him the short version of my partner's death.  He eventually told Shaun.  Well...Shaun put two and two together and realized that he was the person that caused the car crash that killed my partner." Bryan's small intake of breath wasn't lost on me.  

"Wow, Ash, what a strange coincidence. Do you believe in fate, that somehow you and Shaun were meant to meet?"

"I don't know, Bryan!  It's hard to believe that meeting and getting to know the kid that killed my partner would be the event in my life that helped me get over the death.  Maybe it was fate or some higher power. I don't know what I believe in that respect.  All I do know is that meeting Shaun has been a real catharsis for me.  Anyway...Shaun tried to kill himself because of getting to know me.  We've just gotten past that and brought him home from the hospital.  He's going to be meeting with a doctor to talk about what he tried to do, but I think that your being here might be the best medicine. If you're up to it!"

"Ash, I don't think I've been more up for anything in my life. I love Shaun and want to be with him. So if he'll have me I'll go to the doctor with him and do anything I can to help him."

Hearing those words, I scooted over and drew Bryan into a hug. "That's what I wanted to hear, dude. That's just what Shaun needs."



Hunter insisted that Patrick and I stay for a few days.  We went to Patrick's place and brought some clothes over.  We spent the next week seeing the sights of California.  We saw Redwoods, wineries and ocean.  We took an overnight trip south to San Simeon to see the Hearst Castle.  Hunter and I insisted that Patrick and boys see a play so we went to the American Conservatory Theater one night. We spent one evening that I considered especially entertaining on Castro Street.  Hunter and Patrick had seen the area but the boys and I were wide eyed. It was wonderful to see gay people openly displaying their feelings, holding hands, kissing, enjoying life. That evening we stumbled upon underwear night at one of the bars.  The five of us all ended up stripped to our underwear.  I didn't think the boys would disrobe but a little good natured prodding and comments about their manhood soon had them red faced but stripped. Hunter, Patrick and I could barely contain our laughter. While we older dudes were sporting briefs or boxer briefs, the youngsters had, on one of our shopping trips, picked up some brightly colored thongs. Today happened to be the day they wore them, matching ones at that.  We ended up having to keep a close eye on those two. They were the life of the party!

On Friday Patrick and I had to bid farewell to Hunter and the boys. It was a very emotional goodbye.  Shaun and I couldn't seem to let each other go.  We both cried tears of sadness and joy.  We had become close friends in a short time and wouldn't see each other often, but we had vowed to keep in touch.  I for one knew that I would be vacationing in California often.  The boys would keep in touch via email.

"A penny for your thoughts,Ash?" Hunter said, as we drove to his place.

"I'm sorry...I guess that I'm just miles away in thought.  Who would have ever thought that recent events could happen?"

"I know what you mean, Ash, but you seem really sad right now and I don't think you should be."

"HEY...I can be sad if I want." I said with a chuckle.

"Well I guess that's true...but you shouldn't be.  You've done wonders for Shaun. Those boys are going to be fine and you're really responsible for a large part of that. You should be happy."

"I know, Patrick...but I can't help feeling a bit alone right now!"

"Hey...don't expect miracles overnight babe!  You've come a long way thanks to Shaun and his problems, strange as that sounds.  You need to come to grips with that and then start to move on.  You'll get there! I'm sure of it now."  Patrick reached over and gave my shoulder a squeeze, the reassuring feeling of human contact helping me over the sadness for the moment.



As I took my seat for the flight home I reflected back to my flight to California.  Such a short time ago and so many things had happened.  A bag plopped down into the seat next to mine and I looked up to see a more than slightly overweight woman with multiple carry on bags.  As she tried to stuff a huge bag into the overhead I was barely able to suppress a groan.  She finally succeeded and then settled her bulk into her seat, and mine. This was going to be a long flight.

"Excuse me!" I heard from the aisle.  "I believe you're in my seat. I have 14 B." Whoever was speaking was hidden from my view by my row mate.  She fumbled for her ticket and uttered a "none too lady like" curse when she realized that she was on the wrong side of the aisle.  Struggling to rise she finally managed to remove her considerable bulk from the seat, gathered her belongings and move across the aisle.

A hand was thrust into my line of sight. "Hi I'm Kevin Barrett."   I paused before accepting the handshake. This was just too eerily like my meeting with Shaun. Finally I offered my hand, turning as I did so to see the person speaking to me.  "I'm Ash..." my voice faded off.  I was gazing up at red hair, dark eyes, maybe green, and a body that filled out the polo shirt and jeans he was wearing. My savior from the devil woman was gorgeous.




Don't forget to check out some of the following stories. If you read and enjoy any of these please let the author know. We thrive on feedback!!

Once again.....Thanks again for reading "How Will I Go On".

Ash - asherbradley@yahoo.com


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