Date: Tue, 22 Nov 2005 08:23:40 +0100 (CET)
From: Marcos Rojas <tulindobebito@yahoo.es>
Subject: I Hate You So Much That I Love You 3

Hi all of you out there! I know this been log. Maybe too long... Hope you
still can remember what this story is about. I planned a little change now,
but you will see that. Feedback, as always is required!

Marcos

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I hate you so much that I love you 3


Coming home from school Enrique checked his father's office. Seeing there
were no threats he quickly went upstairs and entered his room. Dropping his
backpack he pushed the start button on his laptop, chaotically taking off
his clothes and sending them into all possible directions. He had just a
few seconds to look down on his little bud. Enrique Junior was his pride,
uncut as his mother fortunately didn't really care. Enrique was pretty
horny at the age of 15, he actually was feeling physical ache if he
couldn't jack off at least two times a day. His hand was shaking, as he
clicked on his favorite site. A sexy guy appeared on the screen.
Downloading the video, Enrique started slowly stroking his 8'. It was just
too much. He needed to get away from school, from the stress. The dialog
box blinked and Enrique started the video turning off the sound. This was
his measure of protection not to be caught by his father. Finally on his
bed he started touching his pecs playing a while with his nipples.

Enrique had no clue which his father's plans were for that day. Seeing the
boy's car the father grinned and parked further away from the house, so
that his son couldn't hear him coming home. Sneaking in the house he took
off his shoes and walked up the flight of stairs. Biting his lower lip his
eyes smiled. "This should be the best gift for him!" However the silence
was annoying, this wasn't typical for Enrique. Even while learning the boy
always listened to music, as music was like a drug for him. He now could
only hear strange noises from the room. As he got closer he could hear the
heavy breathing of Enrique. The father still didn't realize what was going
on in his boy's room. Finally reaching the door he opened his eyes widely.
There was his boy on his back hammering away with a speed that made his own
dick react. The entire beauty of the boy seemed so new for him now. Sweat
made the olive body of the boy shiny. The black hair on his arms and pecs,
leading down to his belly and to his pubes gave him a special look. He
always admired his boy's body. The long years of football training
strengthened Enrique's body. He pretty much had the looks of a jock. He
blushed suddenly realizing he has just been spying on his own son, but just
as he wanted to turn around Enrique's body stiffened, the boy yelled and
with a content whiny "Oh yeah!" released his load. Thick cum flew through
the air and landed on the boy's hair as he was moving without being able to
control his body. The father was stunned. He was overwhelmed by this new
experience. He never thought about his boy in this manner. That this boy
had started his sexual life never crossed his mind. Now he was wondering
whether there was more to know. The typical thoughts of a parent gathered
as storm clouds on a blue sky. Feeling his orgasm fade away Enrique rolled
on his stomach. Being in his post-orgasm state, halfway sleepy, he wanted
to check again if there was anything threatening. His dark brown eyes met
his father's eyes.

"Oh shit! Oh! Dad! Oh! Ahm, how long have you been standing there?" the boy
asked out of breath and freaked to death.

"Long enough to see what was going on!" the guy answered. He gave his boy
another look of disbelief and walked away.

Enrique felt his face burning. He dropped his head on the pillow. It was
then in his deepest shame that he realized he didn't even look at the
monitor. "Oh God, I really don't want to know this!" He turned his head to
find a black monitor. Fortunately he has forgotten to set the player to
repeat the clip. "At least he doesn't know I'm gay!" Deeply ashamed Enrique
took a shower.

It was time to face his father but he still didn't have the guts. "How can
I face him now? What is he going to tell me? I have just destroyed my good
son image! Dear Lord!" Enrique was sweating. He might have been a pretty
smart kid for his age but he sure didn't know how to handle this
situation. The minutes passed and he knew he had to do something, at least
go talk to his dad.

He struggled for a short while then decided to face his destiny. Enrique
was actually all his dad had, so he didn't have anything to worry
about. The two of them had a pact, and Enrique knew there is only one
moment he starts hiding things from his father and their relation will have
to suffer. He didn't want that to happen. With his 15 and his experience he
clearly knew his father was the only person who he could rely on. Walking
down the stairs he took one last deep breath and entered the room. His dad
was, as usual sitting at his desk and reading something. Lost in his
thoughts the man didn't see his son coming. Enrique stood there and
observed his dad for a while. He still was a young man, a beautiful young
man. He still couldn't understand why he has chosen to take care of him. At
his age he should have been dealing with other things like going out and
get himself a life, because the one he was having couldn't really be called
a life...

"Dad... Uhm..." The man didn't bother to interrupt his reading.

"Something on your mind?" He said raising his left eyebrow. This was a sign
for Enrique. He knew this is going to be interesting. He sighed and took a
seat on the other side of the desk. This is the well known seat students or
editors take whenever his dad works at home and doesn't bother to go to his
office. This is the magical chair, where truth is always said.

"Well... Dad... Uhm..." Enrique wanted to begin and gave his dad a helpless
look. His entire face screamed for help, but the man didn't bother to look
at him.

"You already said that twice." The man answered in a somehow amused tone.

"The... THING... I was doing..." Enrique tried to begin from somewhere.

"What THING?"

"THE thing what you saw... today... earlier...in my room... me..."

"You what?"

"Come on dad, you know... Me..." Enrique felt the blood rising into his
head. `Great, not only that I behave like a cheerleader, I turn the color
of Barbie too!'

"You what Enrique? Say the word! What were you doing?" The man said putting
down his book. He still looked good. In fact he looked great for his
age. No wonder since he was only 27. And already a father. With a 15 years
old kid. Something that is biologically impossible but it actually
is. However the story is too painful for him to remember it. In his entire
life this was the first time where he didn't face the facts and was trying
to lock facts away somewhere into a deep corner of his mind. That was kind
of difficult given the fact that Enrique reminded him of all those
thing. But as they say, time heals all the wounds and pain, and one has to
look at the bright side of things. And Enrique has been giving him a lot of
good things. He was his everything.

"I was..." Enrique looked down suddenly realizing that there was a carpet
too, and there were some lines on the carpet. And he also could follow
these lines with his toe.

"You were... Say it Enrique!"

"I was masturbating! Jacking off! ˇPajeándome Papá! żEstá bien?" He was now
angry. Why did his dad have to be such a asshole right now? Why exactly now
and in this situation? Couldn't he realize how embarrassed he was?

"And why is that so hard to say? Aren't you eating Enrique? Don't you drink
and sleep?"

Enrique looked at his father with disbelief. He had him now, as he was
completely clueless where this conversation was heading to.

"Enrique, this is a normal thing! Hijo, you're no longer a boy! And I'm
glad you found out about what more that specific little friend of yours can
do. I am just deeply sorry that you didn't tell me earlier. I mean I could
have told you so many things, now you had to find it out all by yourself."

"Well dad, I can't go asking you how to masturbate. I mean, hey, we are
like in the 21st century, I can use the net you know, if I want to find out
something. Besides... I never thought you..."

"That I am also doing it???" If Enrique hadn't been red enough until then
he turned the deepest shade of red now. The man was looking with an
understanding smile at his boy.

"Well my boy, I have breaking news for you. I am also just a man, and as
you can see, I don't really get laid that often... So I also need some kind
of alternative to get rid of this kind of stress and frustration. I mean I
guess I don't have to tell you how can it turn you mad if you can't..."

"No dad, you don't!" The spontaneous answer made both of them laugh.

"However there is one thing I would like to ask you. Two actually. The
first one is to be free when you are doing it. Don't build up any kind of
control! If you feel like screaming or crying, than do it! You need to
discover the coordinates of this aspect of your body and soul. And if you
should decide to make the big step and make a girl happy, please take care
of..."

"I will! Hey don't come up with that! I had that in school and I keep on
having it all the time... It is sooo booooring!"

"But useful! Unless you don't want to..." The man just sighed and looked
away.

"... be like you. With a messed up life because you have to take care of a
kid." Enrique said with the deepest bitterness in his voice. He never
stopped wondering why his dad was taking care of him. He always had this
guilt, he felt like his dad had to give up his life own life just to raise
him. That seemed totally unfair to him.

"Don't you dare saying that again! Did I ever give you reasons to think of
me like that? Did I ever blame you of having made me unhappy?"

"Never, but still..." Enrique was struggling whether to say it or not.

"But what?" The father opened his eyes widely.

"Other kids have a... you know...parents... and they... are... I mean..."

"A family..."

"A family."

"I'm sorry for not being able to offer you that."

"No dad, Grandma already told me the story and I understand it completely."
Now it was the man's turn to look rather in disbelief at his son.

"She did? And what exactly did she tell you?"

"Well, that basically because of mother we couldn't have a family and that
I never should blame you for not having a normal family. Still she never
told me any of the reasons WHY you actually live alone and never did go out
on a date or stuff like that. She isn't willing to tell me that! NEITHER is
she..."

"Enrique, you know I love you, but this is something I don't want to talk
with you about. Yet. The time will come and we'll talk about this too, but
it's too soon."

"So you are not marrying Roxanne yet..." Enrique sensed the dark clouds
gather. If there was something that made his father mad and inaccessible
that was the family-topic. Sometimes he felt even more mature than his own
father. And why he never had a family and his dad never bothered to offer
him one was one of the biggest questions of his young life. But there was
always a line, and he did push this line further and further. He could
sense his dad getting more and more worried and preoccupied and that was a
good sign. It was somehow his young ego, and even his dad was his idol this
was something he needed to find out, and there was no price that was to
high to pay. For the moment it was quite enough and he let his dad escape
again.

"Now Mr. Stroker, do we have some observations or are we having too much
spare time to think about thing we weren't supposed to?"

"Daaaaaad!!!" Enrique was trying to argue but his father was up in a blink
of an eye and Enrique had to defend himself.

"No you won't! I am not a kid anymore! Dad stop it!" Just like always he
was yet too slow for his dad. Enrique wasn't really a jock and he has just
recently discovered his passion for sports. Which motivation stood behind
this sudden change were of course both ON the field and In the lockers, AND
of course well enough guarded under seven seals in his mind. Enrique always
ended up getting tickled to death from his father and he was just
helpless. He knew he will be eventually begging for mercy and promising to
be a good boy. But this time he even had to go further.

"You will clean the garage!"

"No, I am NOT going to clean up that mess!" Enrique protested pointing with
his index towards the garage as if it was a place worse than hell.

"Oh you are going to do it! And the best thing is you will do that till 9
o'clock!"

"9 o'clock? But it's already 6!"

"So? You have a problem with that?"

"The hell I have!"

"Well I can understand that perfectly since you are standing here and
wasting your time!"

"Whatever!" Enrique just raised both hands into the air and gave up. Once
again he was defeated.

Walking out of the house he headed towards the place of his horror. He
hated the garage. It was too big and too full of all kinds of garbage. Old
books, old clothes, everything they didn't need. The house was huge, it was
actually the summer residence of his granny, who didn't like the
Paradise. After she remarried with her second husband she went back to New
York, that's where life is pulsating she always says. Enrique loved the
Paradise and it was not just because of the climate, but also because of
his happy life there. His life seemed to be a long vacation, each time he
finished his to-dos he could switch into tourist and enjoy all what others
paid thousands for. It was perfect.

Lost in his thoughts Enrique begun sorting out the chaos, analyzing each
item then putting it into the most suitable box. It was his way of working
and his dad made fun of him each time he could. He used to come into his
room sit on the bed and look at him cleaning up his room. He always said it
is just fabulous how he could turn the chaos into the ultimate chaos and
afterwards being still able to find the place of each and every item. This
time it was the same, and even if they wanted to, they couldn't park the
cars for the night in the garage. `History of the United Kingdom, Hamlet,
Cervantes... good to read them, amazing how much did Dad read...Huh? What
is this? What an awful language!'

"For the love of my life, Dani. Never forget this weekend we spent
here... Should faith decide to tear us apart, remember me each time you
look at this castle. This is where I gave you my heart and life. You are my
life, the knight of my castle... Love Ch. 26th of June 2003."

`What on Earth is this? Who the hell is Ch? Two years ago? That is when I
first moved in here, in June, two years ago. I guess I'd better ask Dad...'

Enrique went on with his work, and somewhere around nine as his dad
forcefully had to hunt him out of the garage he remembered he had to ask
something.

"Hey dad! Look what I've found! Some flame of yours huh?"

The man took the book in his hand with a grin but suddenly got serious. Too
serious. Enrique's smile faded. He never saw so many dark clouds in the
same time.

"Ahm Dad, you wanted to eat! Come on, the looser has to do the dishes!" But
he was the only one to run, his father remained on the very same place with
the book in his hands. He slowly whipped the dust from the book and looked
at the castle. Opening the book a very familiar handwriting made him
shiver. Two sparkling green eyes were looking at him, a face with sweetest
smile, expressing the truest love he ever experienced. The only LOVE he
ever experienced. Daniel slowly closed his eyes and smelled the book. Even
after two years he could smell the sweet perfume. How long has he been
searching for his Bible, how many argues did he have with his mother
because of this book, because of this last memory of his great love. As he
wasn't to be convinced to say goodbye to this last item of his past as his
mother forced him to. `You have responsibilities now Daniel! You can't let
your past destroy your son's life! Start acting like an adult for the first
time in your life! You can not, you mustn't sacrifice your son because of
your stubbornness. Give it up and you'll see that life will give you other
satisfaction! Do it for your son if you don't want to do it for me!' And
the next day gone was the book, and he understood that there was nothing to
do, and now, after two years, two long years where he fought this giant
battle with himself it appears!

"No one is going to take it away from me now! This is all I got! I am
allowed to have the memory! I can't have HIM but I can have the memory of
him! I have a right to have at least the memory of my life... the life I
gave up..."

"Dad! Are you coming? It's getting late!"

"And how late... Too late...Way... too... late..." Daniel sighed and a
single teardrop rolled down his cheeks.

To be continued?

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So how was it? Drop me a mail with your comments, suggestions etc.

Marcos

(tulindobebito@yahoo.es)