Date: Mon, 12 Jun 2000 14:19:51 -0400 (EDT) From: sliders21@iname.com Subject: if i let you go (college) Note: Thanks for everyone who read 'hidden desires in ny' in this section and 'ordinary love' in the adults-friends section. Hope you guys would like this one as well. I still have no clear idea what will happen so bear with me. *************** If I Let You Go *************** Fuck! I can't believe I'm stuck in the freshman dorm for another year again! I could strangle the bastard that mixed up my application for Maple Hall. It's bad enough I had to endure a year living in this stupid dorm and it's stupid rules, I'm going to be stuck with an irritating freshman for a roommate as well. I was putting my books on my desk when I heard the door opening. I turned around and saw this incredible hunk walk in the room. He gave me a nervous smile and walked to the unoccupied bed and dropped his bags there. "You must be my roommate," The guy walked up to me and put up his hand. "I'm Ryan. Ryan Clark." "Jason Brooks," I shook his hand firmly. "Looks like we'll be rooming together for the next year or so, huh?" Ryan started to make small talk as I returned to what I was doing. I just have to keep my mind on anything but him. "At least until I get the green light to transfer to Maple Hall," I replied back. "Maple Hall?" I heard Ryan said to me quizzically. "Isn't that the dorm for upperclassmen?" "Yup," I turned my head a little and saw that he was laying his clothes on the bed. "As much fun as I had staying here last year, I don't think could stand hearing the phone ringing everytime the weather's bad. Believe me, there's a lot of paranoid parents out there than you might think." "You're a sophomore?" Ryan looked at me in shock. "It's a long story but suffice to say, It looks like I'll be stuck here for a while," I gave him a weak smile before returning to my work. We didn't speak for the next fifteen minutes until someone burst into the room. "Jason! You'd never guess what happened!" I turned around and saw James Winters, panting and out of breath. He fell down on my bed and tried to catch his breath. "What's wrong?" I looked at him worriedly. "The council is planning on shutting down the Guardian," James said to me excitedly. "What?!" I looked at him in disbelief. "Why are they doing that?" "They said that they don't have the funds for the Guardian this year," James stood up and looked at me. "Didn't anyone tell you this?" "I just got here an hour ago," I said to him thoughtfully. "Though I do recall vaguely Lisa saying that the funds were getting low just before they let us out for summer." "You're a member of the council?" Ryan asked us softly. I turned to face him and saw that he was blushing slightly, looking at us somewhat shyly. "The university appoints the freshman representative," James answered for me. "Jason here got the highest score in the entrance exam so the board appointed him the freshman rep. But now he's a full pledge councilor. He got the third highest vote when we held the election a month before summer ended." "By the way," I smiled at James in amusement. He didn't even know who Ryan was. "This is Ryan Clark, my roommate. Ryan, this is James Winters, an old friend of mine. He's a staff at the Guardian." "You're on our side, right Jason?" James looked at him pleadingly. "I mean, I just got reassigned to the news section. They can't close us down." "I see what I can do," I sighed out deeply. "We're having a meeting later. I think that your editor is going to show up too." James thanked me and left. I continued fixing my table, lost in my thought until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around sharply and came face to face with Ryan. "Umm," Ryan gave me a weak grin as he backed off a little. "I was wondering where I could buy something to eat at this hour. I didn't eat lunch on the trip here. Too excited, I guess." "And too worried what kind of roommate you'll have, right?" I laughed a little nervously as I stared in his bright blue eyes. I can't believe just how beautiful James is. Standing at 6'2", shoulder length blond hair, blue eyes, perfect white teeth, gorgeous smile, nicely formed body, strong muscular legs. Ryan looked like a man that came out of my dreams. He couldn't be real. "Umm," Ryan turned beet-red at what I said. "We've all been there," I grinned at him as I grabbed my wallet. "Come on, the canteen at the student center should still be serving lunch. The food there is way much better than here." We chatted on the way there. Ryan told me a little about himself. I found out that he was from the Midwest and that he had two older brothers and that they were both married now. I told him a short version of my life story. As we were entering the student center, we met Lisa Masters. She walked up to me and gave me a hug. We grew close while were both serving at the council though she was a year ahead of me. "I heard some people are grumbling about my proposition to close down the Guardian," Lisa grinned at me mischievously. "That should teach them to spend their money wisely." "You up to something, aren't you?" I shook my head at her. "Try making sense out of the financial report they submitted," Lisa made a face at me. Then her eyes fell on Ryan who was standing behind me. "And who's this gorgeous guy with you? Your brother?" "Roommate," I laughed as I stepped aside and gestured to Ryan. "You remember when I told you I was stuck at the freshman dorm again and you said I would probably be rooming with a geeky guy? Well, here's your high school geek Lisa, Ryan Clark. Ryan, this is the most beautiful councilor in the university, Lisa Masters." "I didn't say that," Lisa grinned at Ryan as Ryan blushed deeply. "Jason's just pulling your leg. I told him he'd end up with the football quarterback, not the science geek." "Ryan didn't play any sports," I smiled at her in amusement. "Believe it or not, He belongs to an environmental club or something." "Gorgeous and dedicated," Lisa's eyes were twinkling as her teasing made Ryan become redder. "You should join the Green League if you're into the environmental stuff." "Anyway, I'll just see you later," Lisa said goodbye to both us. I was laughing at Ryan's predicament as we walked to the canteen. We both ordered some burgers and fries. We sat down in a corner and I gave him a grin. "Did you leave any girlfriends back in Green Valley or is she studying here too?" I asked him before taking a bite out of my burger. "Umm," Ryan avoided my eyes as he mumbled. "I never had a girlfriend before." "As in never?" I looked at him curiously. I couldn't picture a gorgeous guy like Ryan not being involved with anybody. "How about you?" Ryan didn't answer me. "Is Lisa your girlfriend?" "No, she's not," I smiled at him. "And before you ask, I hadn't been seriously involved with anyone before. I promised myself to start dating while in college. But things had been pretty hectic with the student council and some of the other organizations I'm involved with. That's why my advice to you is to join just one organization." "Any suggestions?" Ryan asked me. "The Green League or Debating Society sounds like a good bet," I shrugged my shoulders. "But I'll wait until next week when we'll have the Org Fair. You get to see all the different groups we have here in campus." Ryan asked me for some more advice before we headed back to the dorm and finished fixing up our room. ***************** "So, is your roommate currently involved?" Lisa whispered to me. We were in the conference room, listening half-heartedly to our president making a speech. "No," I glanced at her surreptitiously. "Why do you ask? You're not interested in him, are you?" Was that a sound of jealousy in my voice? It can't be. "Anything wrong with that?" Lisa raised her eyebrows at me. "Duh?" I looked at her in disbelief. "He's a freshman, remember?" "He'd be perfect for my sister," Lisa grinned at me. "You remember that my sister is a freshman too, right? Let's set them up on a blind date." "I'm going to worry about my lovelife before anyone else's," I said to her jokingly thought it fell a little flat. We fell silent as we focused on the meeting. ***************** I got back late, around eleven in the evening. The dorm's curfew is only until 9:30 though I had a special privilege of coming until midnight because I was a member of the council. I proceeded to my room. The first thing I saw when I opened the door was Ryan in his boxers only. He was doing some push-ups. He quickly got to his feet when he heard me come in. "Curfew ended hours ago," Ryan looked at me quizzically as he grabbed a towel and started to wipe his body. "I know," I just smiled at him before dumping the papers I was carrying on my table. I sat down on the bed and started to take off my shoes. "But they were arguing about what to do with the Guardian. It took a lot longer than we expected." "It must be so cool to be in the council," Ryan said to me as he lay down on his bed. I looked up and saw that he was staring at the ceiling as he was lying on the bed comfortably. He put his hands on the back of his head. I swallowed hard as I saw Ryan's muscles rippling at the slightest movement he made. "It...It has it's perks I guess," I cleared my throat as I stood up. I went to the cabinet and grabbed a towel. "I'll just take a shower." I quickly left the room and breathed deeply when I was in the hallway. "Damn!" I cursed under my breath. I didn't like what I was feeling. I didn't like it at all. *********** Thank goodness I didn't get to see much of Ryan the next day. I was too busy preparing for the opening week. I woke up early and when I came back, Ryan was already asleep. I slept most of the next morning. I was dreaming of sailing in the Atlantic, no care in the world when it suddenly get dark and the waters became rough. "Jason, wake up," I felt someone shaking me awake. "Wha-what?" I sat up straight and rubbed my eyes. I saw Ryan grinning at me widely. I put my feet on the ground as Ryan sat down next to me. "Guess who's visiting me today?" Ryan seemed very happy to me. "Your fairy godmother?" I said as I yawned and stretched my arms. "No," Ryan laughed out. "My new Step-brother. I told you that my mother remarried recently. He's living in the city so he decided to check how I was doing. You'll love him Jason. He's a very cool guy." "Whatever," I said as I fell back on the bed and pulled up the blanket over me. "Very happy for you. Now, let me sleep." "He'll be here any minute," I felt Ryan stand up as I rolled to my side, facing the wall. I was almost asleep again when I heard someone knocking on the door. I opened my eyes and listened for a while. It seems like it was Ryan's stepbrother. I sat up to greet the guy. My eyes widened as I saw who was Ryan's stepbrother! *************** To be continued *************** Any comments are welcome at: sliders21@iname.com