Date: Mon, 19 Mar 2001 20:45:47 -0500 (EST)
From: sliders21@iname.com
Subject: if i let you go 12

**************
If I let You Go 12
**************

Note: I was a little depressed when I wrote the last chapter. I'm still a
little depressed right now. I still do believe in true love but it just get
so damn frustrating waiting for it. Thanks to everyone who wrote me. You
all made me a little bit happier. Thanks again.

**********
Jason's POV
**********

	I kept wondering what's going on downstairs at the QC meeting. I
stayed long enough for Kyle and Ryan to tell everyone that they were gay. I
didn't really know what I was feeling right at this moment. I just feel
like something's missing in my life.

	Then I decided to just bury myself at work.  I started doing this
report I have in a Political Science class. I didn't know how much time
passed by when I heard someone knocking on the open door. I looked up and
saw Ryan smiling at me nervously.

	"Hey," Ryan greeted me as he walked in the office.

	"Hey yourself," I smiled back at him. "The meeting's over?"

	"They're having a small party," Ryan nodded his head at me.

	"Why are you here then?" I asked him softly.

	"I---thought you might like the company," Ryan almost whispered to
me. "If I'm bothering you then I'll just---"

	"No," I immediately said to him before he could leave. "Stay."

	"If you're sure," Ryan slowly walked over to my desk and sat down
in front of me.

	"Sure I'm sure," I smiled a little nervously. We didn't speak for a
moment until he cleared his throat and asked me what I was doing. I told
him about my paper and the upcoming fair that the university was having.

	"You seem to be very busy," Ryan commented to me.

	"Most of the volunteers we have are busy doing their papers so I'm
stuck doing most of the leg work," I groaned out at him. "Thank god I could
just pass the papers I have to send to the different organizations to the
guys back at the dorm. The only thing left to do is post the posters about
the fair. I'll probably do that tomorrow morning."

	"I'll help," Ryan said to me immediately.

	"Are you sure?" I was sort of surprised that he seems to be
enthusiastic about helping me. Surprised but very very happy.

	"I don't have anything else to do tomorrow anyway," Ryan smiled at
me. "How about we just meet here at around 8? Is that okay?" I nodded my
head then Ryan stood up and said goodbye. He said he needed to go back to
the party. He tried to invite me again downstairs but I told him I needed
to finish the paper.

****************

	I was surprised to find Ryan sitting on the hallway floor outside
the Council.  It was just 7:45 and I thought I would come a little bit
early to get the posters ready.

	"Good morning," Ryan grinned at me as he stood up.

	"You're early," I commented to him as I opened the council
office. We entered the room. I started to pack up the things we will be
needing as Ryan sat down on my desk and looked at the things on top of it.

	"You don't have any pictures on your desk," Ryan said to me.

	"Should I have pictures on it?" I laughed out as I picked up a
paper bag and placed the posters on it. "I didn't know that rule."

	"I just thought you'd place a picture of your girlfriend on your
desk, is all," Ryan gave me a fidgety look.

	"I told you I don't have any girlfriends," I saw a faint grin
appear on his face after I said that. It almost looked like he was happy to
hear me say that I don't have a girlfriend.

	"I thought that maybe you'd hooked up with someone already," Ryan
shrugged his shoulders casually.

	"No, I haven't," I said to him again and I saw that look on his
face again. Ryan stood up and said we'd better get going if we wanted to
finish the job by noon.


**********
Ryan's POV
**********

	I thought it was a good idea at first. I just wantd to spend more
time with Jason so I volunteered to help him out put up posters around the
campus. I thought it would bring us closer. I didn't expect us to get this
close though.

	"Hold it up a little higher," Jason was almost whispering in my ear
as he was pressing against my back. I was holding the posters up against
the bulletin board while Jason was stapling it.  Jason was standing behind
me and would sometimes get a little too close.

	I'm just glad I'm in front. If our situation was reversed and he
was holding up the posters and I was stapling it, I'm pretty sure Jason
would definitely notice the hard throbbing erection in my pants.

	"There," Jason said as he moved away from me. I turned around
slowly and gave him a nervous look. He smiled at me and said we had better
go to the last building.

	I followed him as he started to tell me about something or
another. I wasn't paying that much attention to Jason because I was trying
to lose my erection.

	"What?" I looked up and saw him giving me a quizzical look.

"I asked you what your plans are for the break," Jason gave me a weird
look. "You okay Ryan?"

	"Yeah, I am," I blushed deeply then I cleared my throat. "I
probably will be spending the break back at home. You?"

	"I was thinking of fishing somewhere or maybe go skiing," Jason
said to me as we entered the Math Building. "I'll probably ask James or
Lisa to go with me."

	"You and Lisa are really close, huh?" I said in an almost jealous
voice.

	"I guess so," Jason answered me. We put up the posters
quickly. Then to my surprise, Jason invited me to lunch. Of course I said
yes. Like I would turn him down.  We ended up going to this Italian place
that Jason said served the best pizza in the city.

	"Hey," I smiled at Jason nervously as I watched him sitting across
the table while we waited for our order. "Can I tell you something?"

	"You can tell me anything," Jason said it in a voice that almost
made me tell him how I truly feel about him. But at the last second, I came
back to reality. Jason's probably straight and the only relationship I
could have with him is friendship.

	"Thanks for being so nice to me even after everything," I said as I
felt myself blushing. Jason just gave me this really sweet smile and took
my hand in his and gave it a squeeze.

	"How could I not be nice to you Ryan," Jason's voice was steady
though I could almost detect that he was a little nervous also. "You're the
nicest, most remarkable guy I've ever met. I can't help but be nice to
you."

	I decided right there and then to tell him how I feel. After what
he said, he has got to feel something for me too, right? I thought about
the time we spent at his hometown and how special he treated me. I thought
about the way he always smiles at me. I thought about all the times we
spent together and how special he always made me feel. I thought about how
he was breathing in my ear and how he was pressing his hard muscular body
against me earlier. All of that made me realize that Jason must surely like
me even just a little bit.

	"Jason, I---" I didn't get to finish the sentence as I saw my
stepbrother walk in the restaurant with another guy. Fuck! I wasn't
expecting this. It's one thing to come out to strangers but could I come
out to my own family?

***************
To be continued
***************

Note: I'm trying to tie up loose ends and would be wrapping up this story
soon. I didn't realize I had that many plots and angles in this story. I
might leave some of them unanswered like the Capulets and Montague family
thing. Shakespeare must have had a lot of time on his hand to write a lot
of really good stories.


Any comments are welcome at: sliders21@iname.com