Date: Sun, 12 Nov 2000 12:03:05 -0500 (EST) From: sliders21@iname.com Subject: if i let you go 7 (college) Note: This one is a little longer. I hope you enjoy it. I'm not that fluent in english nor is it my mother tongue so I hope you bear with my simple use of the language. It's not poetic or anything but I just want to tell a story about two guys who meet and then fall in love. ************** If I let You Go 6 ************** *********** Jason's POV *********** I sighed out deeply as I was lying on my new bed. I had already moved to my new dorm by that night. I had packed my clothes first, intending to move the rest of my things tomorrow. "You okay man?" James looked at me weirdly from his bed. He was sitting on the bed with his back on the wall. "You look depressed." "Just tired," I turned my back to him and closed my eyes. "It's been a long day. A really long day." "Your roommate looked unhappy that you left," James commented to me. My body stiffened a little as I willed my self to relax. "He's just probably tired," I mumbled to him softly. "That or he didn't want you to go away," James said with a laugh. "He's not the first jock-type that fell for you Jason." "Huh?" I sat up straight and looked at him oddly. I saw James looking at me dumbfoundly, not sure what to say. "I..Umm..I meant that---" James stammered out stupidly as he searched for some explanation. He breathed in deeply and then said to me, "Don't tell anybody you got this from me but somebody in this building has the hots for you." "Who?" I said in disbelief. This was a male dormitory. James can't be saying that someone here likes me. "Kyle Robins," James smiled at me weakly. I just stared at him in astonishment. Kyle was a casual friend of mine. He was the captain of the soccer team and has a reputation as a playboy. I know he dates different girls every week. "A few months ago he smuggled in a couple of six-pack and we drunk in his room," James looked at me a little uncomfortably. "That was when he sort of told me that he has a crush on you." "You..must have heard it wrong," I shook my head at him. "He said he likes you a lot Jason," James shook his head at me. "He said he loves you." I stared at him for a long time. Neither one of us was saying anything. Then the door burst open and in came Kyle and a bunch of other guys. "Welcome back Jason!" Kyle grinned at me as he jumped on the bed and landed besides me. "Glad you finally got away from that prison. You'll have a great time here at maple, right guys?" I forced a smile at Kyle as the other guys started to pass around some beer. I looked at James and saw him smiling at me in amusement. I glared at him for a second, angry that he have to tell me this now. Not that I didn't like Kyle. I mean, he was a great guy. Smart. Handsome. Funny. It's just that I never thought of him that way. ************** "You've got to admit it was pretty funny Jason," James said to me while we were having breakfast in the cafeteria of the dorm. "Did you see the look on your face when Kyle came in and jumped on your bed?" "Glad it amused you," I muttered out to him angrily. "You're not angry, are you?" James still gave me his stupid grin. "Kyle's harmless, you know that. He's too afraid of what people will say to actually try anything funny with you. I wouldn't worry about that if I were you." "Next time you know anybody who likes me, keep your mouth shut, okay?" I sighed out deeply at him. "Especially if there's no possibility of them actually ending up with me. You know how uncomfortable I'll feel now whenever Kyle's around?" "Hey, looks like your ex-roommate misses you already," James said to me teasingly. I looked at where James was pointing and saw Ryan walking towards me. I looked back at James and saw him giving me a shit-eating grin. Sometimes I really wonder if he suspects anything about me or not. ********** Ryan's POV ********** I can't believe how I missed Jason so much even if he was gone for a few hours only. I fell asleep feeling so lonely and depressed and it didn't change much when I woke up. I didn't even know what I was doing here in Maple Hall. But when I saw Jason I felt my heart skipping a beat. It was as if the feeling of loneliness I felt just ups and disappeared the moment I saw Jason. I made my way to him slowly. I saw that he was looking at me and giving me a smile now. I quicken my pace and walked over to his table. "Good morning Jason," I said a little timidly as Jason scooted over and motioned for me to sit down next to him. "What are you doing here so early?" Jason asked me searchingly as I sat down next to him. "I just wanted to...uhhhh...know when you'll be picking up the rest of your stuff," I smiled at him nervously. "I have some classes today and I wanted to be there when to pack the rest of your things." "I'll be there around 4 or 5 in the afternoon," Jason said to me. "Have you had breakfast yet?" "No," I shook my head. "Well, why don't you order something from the counter and tell them that I'll pay for it later," Jason smiled at me. "Consider it as payment for putting up with an old guy like me for the last few days." ********** I was lost in my own thoughts for the rest of the day. I was thinking about Jason and the fact that I have to get used to him not being my roommate anymore. I guess this was for the better. He'll just hate me if he finds out just what I am feeling for him. I didn't notice Anna sitting down opposite me in the library. I look up and saw that she was excited about something. "Hey, why didn't you tell me that your roommate was gay?" Anna said to my shock. "What?" My jaws dropped in shock as I stared at her dumbly. "It's true," Anna nodded her head at me. "I just saw your friend manning the booth of the Queer Coalition in front of the library." "You must be joking," I said to her in disbelief. Then I stood up and rushed outside. I saw that Jason was indeed manning the booth of the Queer Coalition. I stood there on top of the stairs leading to the library, not sure what to do now. I still can't believe Jason is a member of the QC. He never mentioned it to me before. I slowly found myself walking down the stairs, towards the booth. Jason was busy talking to a guy who was interested in joining the club that he didn't notice me lining up behind the guy. When the guy left, Jason finally turned his eyes on me. We both looked at each other silently. *********** Jason's POV *********** I was passing by the library when a friend of mine, Bobby, called me and asked me to man the booth while he goes to the john. He didn't give me much of a choice since he just shoved the papers at me and made a mad dash inside the library. I sighed out as I went behind the table and sat down and entertained the two guys who were asking what the Queer Coalition does. I didn't really what to tell them so I had a hard time looking through the papers for the answers to their questions. When the last guy left, I looked up and saw Ryan standing there, giving me this very weird look. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I wanted to explain to him that it wasn't what it look like but I got this feeling that he didn't have a problem if I was a member of the QC or not. "Thanks Jason," Bobby came back before Ryan and I could say anything. "No problem," I faced Bobby and gave him a smile. "I just told them to attend the party you guys are throwing this Saturday if they want to learn more." "I owe you one," Bobby smiled at me before looking at Ryan. "Yes? Can I help you? Do you want to join the Queer Coalition?" "Uhhh," Ryan stammered out as he looked at the guy then at me. "I...I just wanted to speak with Jason." Bobby shrugged his shoulders and Ryan and I walked to the library. "So?" I looked at Ryan quizzically. "What do you want to talk about?" "Umm......well," Ryan squirmed a little as we entered the old building. "You still coming later to pick up your stuff?" "Of course," I looked at him weirdly. "I..I'll see you later then," Ryan quickly retreated to the Social Sciences section. ************ "Tell me again why I have to pretend to be your boyfriend?" I looked at Lisa questionably. We were in the third floor of the library. Lisa asked me to meet here there. I didn't know what she was going to ask me. That's why I was very surprised to hear that she wanted me to pretend to be her boyfriend. "Because you'll be doing a good friend a big favor," Lisa looked at me pleadingly. "My mom and dad are coming here tomorrow and they'll probably start telling me what a good match the son of their best friend is for me. You know how I hate people matching me up with someone." "You think we can fool them?" I didn't know whether to go with her crazy plan or not. "How about I treat you to dinner tonight and talk about the details?" Lisa knew I was going to say yes by now. "Fine," I sighed out deeply. We stood up and went back down to the first floor. We met Lisa's sister, Beth, there. Lisa winked at me and grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly. "Sis, I'd like you to know that you were right, Jason and I are going out," I didn't know how Lisa kept a straight face as he sister squealed in delight and gave her a hug then me. "I knew it!" Beth exclaimed out excitedly. "I knew Jason likes you!" ********** Ryan's POV ********** I was just going out of the Social Science Wing with Anna when I saw Jason, Lisa and some other girl talking by the stairs. I had told Anna about the mix up and that Jason wasn't a member of the Queer Coalition. I didn't really know whether to be happy or sad about that. I didn't even know what I am feeling about Jason yet. Jason then saw me and waved me over to them. Anna and I walked up to the three. "Hey," Jason let go of Lisa's hand. I had noticed that they were holding hands the second I saw them standing so close together. That couldn't mean anything. Jason did say the Lisa wasn't his girlfriend. "You remember Lisa, right?" Jason said as he motioned towards Lisa. "This is her sister Beth. Beth, this was my former roommate Ryan and his friend Anna. I got that right, right?" Jason asked me then looked at Anna. Anna just smiled and nodded her head. "Say," Lisa smiled impishly at me. "You wouldn't mind going out on a double date with me and Jason, do you Ryan? Jason said you aren't seeing anybody right now. What do you say? Me and Jason, you and Beth?" "Lisa!" Jason hissed out at her. I just looked at her, lost. "Date?" I glanced at her then at Jason. She's not saying what I think she is saying. Jason said she's not his girlfriend. "You guys go out and enjoy your date tonight," Beth still wasn't over the fact that Lisa told her that Jason was her boyfriend. "This is just your third date, right?" "Third date?" I repeated like a broken record as I looked at Jason for answers. "It's not really a date-date, it's more like---" Jason started to answer but Lisa cut him off. "We're still getting to know each other," Lisa smiled at Ryan sweetly. "We've just recently hooked up and we don't want to jinx it. Right Jason?" I saw Jason look at Lisa in frustration. Lisa was looking at Jason strangely. "I'll talk to you later, okay?" Jason faced me then grabbed Lisa's arm. "Come on 'honey', we're going to be late for our class." I just stared at the two dumbfoundly as they walked away. *************** To be continued *************** Any comments are welcome at: sliders21@iname.com