Date: Tue, 2 Jan 2001 12:24:59 -0500 (EST)
From: sliders21@iname.com
Subject: if i let you go 9 (college)

Note: This is a short one.  The truth is I'm just lazy but I'll try to post
the rest of the story soon. I'm going to end this soon while I'm still in
the mood to write.


**************
If I let You Go 9
**************


**********
Jason's POV
**********

	"Boyfriend?" I laughed out as I tried to hide the nervousness in my
voice.  I looked at Kyle then at Ryan as I tried to act cool.  Yeah,
pretend you're just one of his buddies Jason.  That should work. "Us?"

	"You two came together, right?" Kyle asked us suspiciously.

	"Just needed Billy to sign something for the council," I answered
him casually as I pulled away from Ryan. I saw Ryan blushing slightly as he
avoided looking at me. "Ready to go Ryan?"

	"Whenever you are," Ryan answered me before downing his drink.  We
said goodbye to Kyle and left the party.  We started walking towards the
frat house where the party was quietly.  Ryan kept glancing in my direction
every now and then. "I didn't tell him we were dating." Ryan whispered to
me when we were a block away from the QC party.

	"Huh?" I looked at him quizzically.

	"Kyle," Ryan said as he looked forward, trying hard to avoid
looking at me. "I didn't tell him you were my boyfriend. I don't know why
he said that."

	"He probably thought we were dating because we came together," I
answered him like it was nothing but I felt a little nervous because I
could sense that Ryan was very upset about it.  Fuck! I was beginning to
think that Ryan liked me. But he didn't even want to think about us
together.

	"Yeah," Ryan answered half-heartedly. Then he suddenly stopped and
said without looking at me. "Listen Jason. I forgot that......I have some
assignment to do. I..I'd better go." Before I could say anything, I saw
Ryan running across the street and disappearing in the dark night.

	"Fuck!" I cursed out under my breath as I sat down on a
bench. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! What the hell what that about?! Does Ryan suspect
what I was feeling? I wanted to kick myself for being so damn touchy this
evening. How many times did I touch his shoulders or put my arm around his
shoulders tonight? FUCK!

************

	I came in the frat house almost in a daze. I just wanted to forget
everything that has happened tonight.  I could still picture the disgust in
Ryan's face before he left.  I have this feeling that he somehow knew that
I like him that way when I sounded so damn happy when Kyle thought I was
his boyfriend. He must have been expecting that I would be punching Kyle
for what he said.

	"Hey," Lisa grabbed my arm as I passed by her. I turned to face her
and forced a smile at her. With a raised eyebrow she asked me what was
wrong.

	"Nothing, nothing," I sighed out deeply as I tried to sound happy
and look happy.

	"Why do you look like the world is about to end then?" She said a
little sarcastically.

	"I really don't want to talk right now, okay Lisa?" I replied back
a little angrily. I was so damn furious that things aren't going that well
with Ryan. I wished I didn't stop to talk to him tonight. At least he
wouldn't be so disgusted with me.


***********
Ryan's POV
***********

	I didn't know where I was going or where I was headed. I just had
to run away from Jason. Why did that stupid Kyle had to open his big mouth
and ruin everything?

	But after the embarrassment has slowly faded away, I started to
think that Jason didn't really seem to mind what Kyle said.  I was just so
damn nervous that Jason would figure out I was lusting after him, I had to
ran away.

	I found myself in front of the house where the QC party was being
held. I didn't realize that I had walked in a complete circle and was back
where I started.

	I was about to leave when I heard someone calling my name. I saw
Billy walking up to me with a smile on his face. I stood there on the
street, giving him an uneasy smile as he came up to me.

	"Ryan right?" Billy gave me a big grin. "You're Jason's friend."

	"Ummm...yeah," I nodded a little shyly.

	"You wanna come in?" Billy was still flashing me that killer smile
of his. But it doesn't even begin to compare to Jason's smiles. "The party
is just beginning."

	"I...uhh..." I looked around nervously, not really sure what to
say. Then I felt myself nodding my head and say, "Sure..I guess."

	I started walking with Billy inside the house. He was tactful
enough not to say anything to me. We walked to the couch and he made the
people there move away so we can talk. He made me feel comfortable by
asking me how I like school so far and what subjects I had and what the
teachers were like.

	"So, you and Jason are good friends?" Billy suddenly asked me out
of the blue.

	"Umm..I..I don't really know," I laughed uneasily. "We were
roommates but he moved in another dorm already."

	"Don't tell him this but I had this huge crush on him when I first
saw him a year ago," Billy said to me with a laugh.

	"Really?" I looked at him, wide-eyed.

	"How can you not like him," Billy winked at me. "He's very
handsome, intelligent, have a sense of humor. Too bad he doesn't seem
interested in guys."

	"Yeah," I said before I realized what I said. I became beet-red as
I looked at Billy in embarrassment. "I mean...uhh..well.."

	"You're not the first "straight" guy that has the hots for Jason
you know," Billy grinned at me as he patted my leg. "Rumor has it that a
huge popular football player has the hots for your ex-roommate."

	"Anyway," Billy smiled at me as he stood up. "Let's not waste the
night pining for Jason. How about we dance the night away?"  He grabbed my
hand and led me tot he dance floor. This really upbeat techno sounding
music was playing and people were just moving their bodies in the small
dance floor.

	I was starting feel so damn good that I even lost track of Billy. I
was sort of dancing with this girl and guy when I suddenly felt my whole
body tensing.  I stood there, immobile as I saw Jason staring right at me!


***************
To be continued
***************

Any comments are welcome at: sliders21@iname.com