Date: Sat, 26 Jun 2004 14:40:21 -0700 (PDT) From: Rio Mack Subject: If Only I Were Gay (Gay/College) "If Only I Were Gay . . ." by Rio Mack This story depicts consensual sex between young men. Please don't read it if that offends you. Joel came back to his dorm utterly depressed. Another failed date. What's wrong with me, he wondered. Sydney, the young woman from his American Studies class, had seemed so into him. For days she couldn't seem to keep her hands off him. She bubbled with joy when he asked her out. But when things got hot in her dorm, and Joel very shyly suggested she take his dick in her mouth and give his big ballsac a nice, slow tonguing, she balked, and then when he started rubbing his big thick cock over her tight, inviting asshole, she freaked and ordered him out. It always seemed to go that way lately: chicks just didn't like the kind of sex Joel was interested in, the kind he deeply craved. Joel popped open a beer, took a gulp, and threw himself down on his bed. Why can't it seem to work, he wondered. Damn, he was so horny. Do I look weird or something? He got up, ripped his clothes off, and looked at himself critically in the mirror. Shit, he thought, as he sipped his beer and carefully appraised his reflection, he had to say he looked good. He was about six-one, had almost no body fat, and was buff as hell from working out since middle school. His pecs were broad plates, with hard little nubby nipples on them that Joel thought looked sexy as hell. His abs were upper ninetieth percentile, deeply etched and curvy, narrowing into a perfect wasp waist, perched atop a fulsome muscular ass, with those hard planes of glutes that you'd think chicks would just love to grab, kiss, lick. And his dick - Joel knew from years of seeing other guys in shower rooms that his cock was about as nice as they came. Full, thick, but not grossly so; perfectly shaped and about 8 inches soft. When he stroked it hard (and that's about the only way it got hard lately), it was nine and a half inches of thick throbbing flesh. Joel had regularly surfed a couple of gay porn sites in the past few months, with the freedom from parental interruption college provided, and so he knew how good he looked. Well, very regularly, actually - he had to admit that muscular hunks were hot, and damned if they didn't get him off; and since Mary Fivefingers was the only chick getting him off lately, he would take any fruitful avenue of sexual stimulation he could get, as often as he needed. As he stared at his reflection in the mirror, and drained the last of the beer, he pumped and flexed his muscles, getting them bigger, bulkier, hotter-looking. His dick by now was fully hard; it curved slightly upwards as it stood out from his body, which Joel had thought girls would dig. He boinged it playfully a couple times, getting it even harder and twitchier. He spit on his hand and rubbed the sleeve of uncut flesh back and forth slowly and luxuriantly across his cock, watching the head cover and then emerge. Shit, his dick was a gorgeous slab of meat, why wouldn't Sydney want to suck this thing all night, and lap her tongue up and down it, delighting in its manly glory? Joel didn't care if she deep-throated, just playing with the head and foreskin would have been fine. Why couldn't she get into slurping that beautiful uncut cockhead, and teasing the piss-slit with her tongue, biting the foreskin sexily and pulling it as far as it would go? God, he was close to coming. For some reason, into his head suddenly popped an image from the last gay porn website he'd visited: there'd been a guy on there who was incredible - boyish jaw, sexy goatee, a sweet floppy dick that Joel could imagine jacking along with his, and - uhhnnnn, he started coming. Blast after blast after blast of milky white cum shot out of that long thick cock. Christ, it felt good. Joel let the first shots land on the mirror, where they would drip down slowly, leaving hot traces of his lusty passion, but after 4 or 5 squirts he put his hand over his cockhead to catch the rest, and then licked it off. He'd started doing that lately. It started a while ago with his precum, which he couldn't help tasting when he slicked up his cockhead with spit; he'd found it incredibly tasty, like tangy, slightly salty oil, excellent aftertaste and very addictive. Then, with beating off so much this first year alone at college - and sure, seeing guys fiending for it on the gay mpeg's he'd watched - he got curious to know if real cum tasted as good as the tangy nectar of precum, so one day he just lapped up a taste from a huge load he'd shot, and he was hooked. Why can't girls like this, he wondered, as he licked his hand clean, laying his lean stud body between the sheets. Next day, at work, Joel was primed to find another possible date. There were two girls in the campus library, where he worked, that he thought he might ask out. One, named Karen, was not really his type. She was kind of loud, brassy, but fun. She was a little too heavy for Joel, and her tits were too big. But she was nice, smart, and seemed to like Joel. The other girl, Dani, was way his type. In fact Joel was a little intimidated by her. She was incredibly smart and self-composed, and her looks were, for Joel, perfect. She looked like a young boy: short-cropped hair, thin, very flat-chested, and an androgynous, pixie-ish face. She'd been one of Joel's jack-off fantasies for the past month: a little distant, and sexually ambiguous as hell, but if she was straight, Joel could imagine fucking that pert little ass all night, right after she'd made love to his long thick shaft with those thin boy lips. And with that lithe dancer's body of hers, he bet she could buck like hell. His mind blissed out on this erotic daydream at the circulation desk where he worked, until he was brought back to reality by his co-worker, Leif. "Joel, I'm gonna sort and shelf these returns. Will you be OK by yourself for twenty minutes or so?" "Oh sure, man." Joel watched Leif check through the returned books, putting them in order on the cart. Damn, he thought: if Leif were only a chick, he'd be perfect. Leif was beautiful for a guy, Joel had to admit. He looked like Orlando Bloom or Justin Timberlake - kinda tall, smooth milky skin, very lean yet you could tell he was buff through the T-shirts he usually wore. He always seemed to have about a week's worth of a sparse, sexy beard on his face, and his hands were long and slender. As Joel watched those hands check through books, he could imagine what they'd feel like playing with his thick, floppy dick, messing around with the foreskin, teasingly fingering his huge ballsac. Joel stared at Leif's upper arms: today he was wearing a T with no sleeves. Fuck, Leif was way more built than Joel had even thought. He had very definite biceps that curved and rippled as he sorted books. Damn, he bet Leif's girl friends loved licking those lean luscious arms. Leif had a hemp necklace that rested above a fairly nicely-developed chest. Chicks must like to finger that necklace and then move down to rub that sweet chest of his. His shirt was tight, so Joel could even see his hard little nipples poking through. Who wouldn't like to tweak those little beauties? No question, he thought, Leif is a stud. Just for kicks he checked out Leif's package. Even in the faded hip-hop corduroys the boy wore, hanging down to his hip-bones, it wasn't hard to see a nice thick dick stretched to the side. Dang, thought Joel, maybe he should ask Leif to double-date with him or something. He wouldn't mind one bit seeing that dude completely nude as the two of them long-dicked a coupla chicks. He bet Leif was one hot fuck. In fact, now that he'd thought of it, Leif was just the kind of guy Joel found hottest on his all-male internet sites, the smooth college-boy stud. And Leif knew how to dress and groom so that he didn't look effeminate at all, but rather mysteriously erotic, like a young pirate. Before he knew it, words burbled out of his mouth. "Hey, Leif," Joel said, "you ever wanna go out some night with me?" Leif looked up slowly at Joel, a quizzical look on his face. Joel realized what he'd just said. He was embarrassed as hell. "I mean, you and some chick and me and some chick. Might be cool." He was totally flustered. Shit, his libido was ruining him. To his surprise, though, Leif smiled (sexy as hell, Joel thought, those thin lips stretching slowly, exaggerating those killer cheekbones) and said, "That's a thought, man. Maybe we oughta have a beer after work and talk about it. You free?" Joel was late in answering cause he was glued to Leif lightly rubbing along his cheek and lips. And it sorta seemed like he let one of those long bony fingers play across his thin red lips as he waited for Joel to answer. "Shit, yeah," said Joel, "I got nothin' goin' on tonight, sad to say. Let's have a beer and forget how horny we are." "Yeah, horny is right. It's sure been a lean-damn semester for me. OK, cool," Leif said. Then he pushed the cart away, and Joel watched his body move across the library lobby like a jungle cat, composed, svelte, his back muscles ripplingly evident in the tight thin T. He couldn't help staring at Leif's ass. It was a lot harder and more pronounced than you'd think a lean guy like him would have. There was real power in it, you could see, as his weight shifted from side to side. Joel got not a little turned on as, just as he was staring at that ass, Leif dropped one long arm to his side and rubbed his ass a little, as if he were working out some stiffness from sitting. It even seemed like he rubbed deep into the crack a little. Joel's mouth was dry. Damn, he thought, I'd sure like some chick to do that to me. Joel was psyched that last hour of work, excited to have something to do to take his mind of his sexual dry-spell. He genuinely liked Leif, was glad to have their work relationship move into the realm of friendship. And, hell, he had to admit it, Leif was very easy on the eyes. If only I were gay, Joel thought, I'd definitely make a play for him. Thing was, though, that Leif just exuded such a cool masculine aura. No way that guy could be gay. Jack mused on what a striking couple they'd make later at a bar: Leif all neo-hippie James Dean-y with his stubble and ropey muscular arms. Plus he had that buzz cut hair Joel found so sexy. He bet chicks dug it, too - when Leif was eating out some hot chick's pussy, Joel could just see her rubbing that sexy shaved-short head in ecstasy. Joel was glad he'd worn his ripped, faded jeans; he knew his thick tool was shown off best in those. Plus he was wearing a wife-beater under his oxford-cloth shirt, so he could always strip down to that if the club was warm. They'd look really hot together, chicks would probably swarm on them. Joel couldn't keep his eyes off Leif for the rest of the shift. Those angular cheekbones, shown off so well by his buzz cut and stubble, plus were his eyes really green? The boys laughed and bantered together, exchanging details of the shitty dates they'd had this semester ("when I've even had a date!" Leif moaned). They were getting into the rhythm of a night out. Joel couldn't help himself after a while, he took any socially appropriate opportunity to touch Leif, so drawn to that thin, lithe body was he. He'd rest a hand on Leif's thigh as he told him of Sydney freaking out. Leif didn't seem to mind, and even covered that hand with one of his, and patted his shoulder with the other, to give him the sympathy of male camaraderie. At one point, as Leif described his worst date this term (getting thrown out of a girl's dorm without his clothes after he'd sexily snaked his ass into her face, hopeful of a rim job), Joel cracked up and rubbed the closely-shaved head of his new best buddy. After they closed up the circulation desk, Leif surprised Joel by escorting him through the door with his hand on Joel's butt. It felt good, Joel thought, two dudes being intimate with each other, bodily aware. Chicks do shit like this all the time, and it doesn't mean anything. Leif kept it there as they walked down the library steps, laughing, excited. It felt perfectly natural. Leif let it fall after a while, and as they rounded the corner, Joel sort of naturally put his arm around Leif's shoulder, bringing his hand up to rub that sexy skull again, then letting his arm drape across what he realized were a very firm set of lats. The bar they chose was a few blocks from the library. It was candle-lit with a jazz pianist. Leif found a booth against the wall and again steered Joel to it, again with his hand on his butt. When Joel sat down, Leif scooted right in next to him, until his leg was pressed against Joel's. Hot, thought Joel, this guy's comfortable with another man, not ashamed of bodies. Speaking of which, Joel decided to immediately take off his button-down and chill in his A-shirt. After they ordered a pitcher, Joel had to compliment Leif on his great body. "I never realized you were so buff before, dude," he marveled, as he stroked that lean, luscious arm that had been tantalizing him so at work. "No way you should have trouble with chicks given a body like this." He even copped a quick feel of Leif's pec (he just had to brush that nip a couple times!), pulling away quickly, though, repeating his disbelief, "No fuckin' way!" Leif laughed. "Thanks for the compliment. I try to keep in shape. But look at you, dude." And here Leif started letting those strong, slender fingers play all over Joel's upper body, casually moving under the wife-beater. "Fuck, dude, you're like a Playgirl centerfold or something. How long you been working out?" Joel laughed, loving the attention, turned on to think someone as hot as Leif would think he looked like a porn icon. He could feel his nipples were rock-hard. "Since 7th grade, man. My family are all fitness nuts. I was probably the nuttiest of all of 'em, I guess." "Well, it damn sure paid off. You are a total stud, man." The boy moved from feeling Joel's upper body to lightly brushing his thigh. "And most guys ignore the lower body, I've noticed, but you're firm as hell. I bet you're pretty ripped down here." Joel couldn't disguise how turned on he was getting, since his dick was throbbing against his leg. Leif noticed it and laughed. "And if it's true chicks think size counts, then you should be beating 'em off with a baseball bat. And speaking of baseball bats, just how fucking big is that Louisville slugger of yours?" They both cracked up. Joel looked down at Leif's crotch and noticed he was equally hard from all this sexy guy-talk. "I don't know, man. I never measured," Joel lied. "But, hey, I notice you're packing regulation-size wood there yourself!" They laughed and finished another pitcher, naming the girls in their classes and at work they thought would be likely candidates for dates, frank about the plusses and minuses of each (Dani was definitely a lesbian, Leif had already discovered), and then Leif suggested they hit the road. "I just live a block away," he said. "You want to come up and see my place?" "Cool!" said Joel, not anxious to cut short an evening with such a cool guy. Leif's place was just like the boy, lean and cool. He had a comfy-looking couch and floor pillows in one room, where there was also a desk. A good stereo, which he immediately turned on, to Joni Mitchell on low. "Sorry it's so stuffy in here," he said casually, as he stripped off his shirt and opened a window. "I'll get you a beer." Joel couldn't believe how hot Leif looked. That smooth, leanly buff body, with those cords hanging low under his sexy hipbones. Fuck, Joel thought, I can see the top of his pubes; dude is freeballin'! That's so hot. "That's a good idea," Joel said, equally casually, as he too stripped off his shirt. "Both havin' a beer and losin' the shirt." Joel was proud as he watched Leif's eyes rake over his perfect, hunky chest. "Damn, Joel, you're more built than I thought. You've got to be everybody's wet-dream, man." He disappeared into the kitchen and came back with 2 cold ones. As he handed them to him, he couldn't resist letting his hands play across Joel's chest. "Fuck, man. Not an ounce of fat. Best pecs I've seen ever, internet included." "No shit," Joel gulped his beer. "You check out dudes on the internet, too? Fuck, I thought I was the only one." "Fuck, no. I bet most guys do, but they're too chickenshit to admit it. What are your favorite sites?" "Funny you should ask," Joel said sheepishly, as he quickly drained his beer. "Since my monastic sexual life started, I've become something of an authority on internet porn. If you had a computer I could show you the gay ones that never fail to get me off." "Cool! I'll get my laptop." Joel was pumped. Cruising porn sites with another guy. Damn, this sounded like what hot college-boys were supposed to do. Leif came back with his G4 and another couple beers. Plus he had a pipe filled with pot. He threw Joel a beer, put down the laptop, hit the switch, and lit the bowl. After a couple tokes, he passed it to Joel. By that time the desktop came on. Joel couldn't believe the desktop image: a very bulky muscle guy filled the screen, from his nose to just under his pecs. "Hot desktop!" Joel praised. "Thanks. I think so, too. I got it from one of my favorite sites. This guy is a total stud." He turned to Joel and rubbed his pecs again, "You see, dude? I told you I was an expert on guys' pecs. You'd look just as good on that screen, if not better! OK, show me your sites!" Leif let his hand slowly play across Joel's tits as the boy typed in the url of one of his favorite free gay sites. As he clicked through, Joel let one of his hands drop to Leif's thigh and rest there. He wanted to let the boy know he was cool with two guys being intimate. It didn't mean anything. This was just male closeness. Joel clicked through gallery after gallery of his favorite lithe models. One in particular he had to show Leif cause, "dude, this guy could be your twin! Look, same arms," as he longingly rubbed Leif's beautifully lean limb up and down. "Fuck, dude," he added, his hand now giving Leif's evident hardness a playful squeeze, "I bet he has the same dick!" That just popped out of Joel, but Leif wasted no time. He shucked his cords without even unbuttoning them. Joel burst out laughing, "Shit, dude, I take it back, yours is bigger. Damn, nice piece of meat!" Joel reached over and gently grabbed another dude's dick for the first time in his life. Leif's cock was hairless, like the rest of his body, except for a little light-brown bit of bush above the base. It was as creamy as the rest of him, about 8 inches long, thicker than it looked in his pants. It was straining straight up, tip even with Leif's belly button. Joel rubbed it worshipfully, as if he'd been given the privilege to gently hold some rare piece of ivory. He saw the big glob of precum on the tip. "Excuse me, dude, but I'm an addict for this stuff!" He flicked the drop off and sexily licked his thumb clean. "Damn, Joel, that's so hot! This is so cool, bein' with another guy like this, lettin' our hair down, bein' real, sharing such a private passion. Fuck, this has been a great night, dude!" He lovingly stroked the side of Joel's face. Joel reached around and rubbed the boy's beautifully firm ass. "Man, this is the happiest I've been in weeks. Damn, you are so hot, Leif. I can't fucking understand why you can't get laid." He kept rubbing that ass dreamily, and rubbing his face against the boy's throbbing dick. Both boys were very stoned, very drunk, and very in love. This was gonna go all the way, they both suddenly understood. "Uh-oh, dude," Leif sighed, as he watched his stud-idol rubbing his face all over his dick, "I'm drippin' again. Watch it." And this time Joel just held that precious ivory rod and guided the dripping wet head right into his mouth, using his tongue to clean out the piss-slit, getting every last drop. He then kept tonguing that luscious meat over and over, bringing another hand up to jack the base as his head started to pump up and down, doing to Leif what he knew would feel exquisite, what he'd wanted chicks to do to him. They both simultaneously started moaning in ecstasy. Leif put his hands on Jack's beautifully firm shoulders, worshipping their cut firmness, so happy to be able to explore a guy's body, as he'd wanted to for so long. "MMMMMMMHHH, oh yeah, dude!" he groaned loudly, as Joel, slurping up and down on more and more of Leif's hot cock, now used one hand to slowly knead his twink-stud's balls. The other hand was deep in Leif's ass-crack, poking around at his tight hole. That's all it took, Leif cried out and started cumming in Joel's mouth. The bigger stud greedily swallowed his favorite treat, excited to try a new flavor. He saved a little in his mouth as he rose up to kiss Leif. They moaned and tongued together, their hands feverishly working all over each other's beautiful bodies, cocks pressed close together. Leif loved the feeling, but realized Joel was still in his pants. Still kissing madly, he unsnapped Joel's jeans. Joel managed to pull them and his boxers off with one hand, the other rubbing the sexy, bristled head of his first male lover. Finally they pulled out of their embrace, looked at each other with an equal mixture of love, delight, and passion. Leif looked up and down in awe at Joel's nude perfection, taking in that thick hard cock for the first time. "Oh fuck, dude. Total gay porn star. Look at you!" He reached over and played hard with Joel's nipples, perched so nicely as they were on his chest, begging to be twisted and sucked. He bent over and did just that, lavishing his long wet tongue on first one, then the other, twisting to distraction whichever tit wasn't in his mouth, rubbing his stubbly head all over that gorgeous hunk's chest. Joel moaned in ecstasy. Leif kept playing with those nips as his tongue snaked down to Joel's abs, kissing and licking everywhere over his washboard, in every curvy cranny, his light beard adding that extra frisson of tingly bliss. Joel kept his hands on Leif's head and face, gently fondling the skull and beard-stubble. Finally Leif reached Joel's achingly hard cock. Before he put it in his mouth, he looked longingly at it. "Uncut, oh fuck. And damn this is huge! What a gorgeous hunk of prime beef." He venerated Joel's cock, playing with the foreskin that sheathed that huge thick rod as if he were a delighted child. Both of them were in heaven, finally free to act on the passions that smoldered and frustrated for years. Leif looked up at Joel, who was rubbing the boy's head and shoulders lovingly. "I'm gonna suck on this gorgeous piece of meat for a while. But don't cum. I want this thing buried in my ass." "Aw fuck, dude. You're reading my mind!" As his new boytoy greedily worked over his dick and fondled his low-hangers they way he'd always dreamed someone would, Joel thought about the pleasure to come from fucking this beautiful young stud's creamy white ass with wild abandon. Part of his mind seemed to wink at him, asking him if he could even remember when he used to be sexually frustrated.