I woke up early the next morning
and went out for a run. My brother seems to be avoiding me. Weird but I
don't even know what I did except if he's done something I'd be really
pissed about. I let it pass and busied myself with school stuff. I was too
busy inside my room I din't heard my mum calling me. I was only aware of
someone knocking on my door.
"Huh? What?! Is that you Ma?" He
kept on knocking and that irritated me. Maybe its Jake and he wanted to
say sorry. "Stop knocking and come in whoever you are!"
I heard the door opened and I
looked up to see who it was. I almost fell to my chair when I saw Alex
standing there with a goofy grin. "Hey there love, surprise. What are you
up to?" He walked towards me and kissed me on the lips and went to check
out my cd collection and popped GOO GOO DOLLS in the player.
"Thanks I needed this." I sat there
just watching him fidget with my cd player. He looked at me and smiled.
Wow my day is finally complete.
"No sweat anyway you stink! Take a
bath and wear something nice we'll go out."
"Huh? Where are we going? I haven't
asked mum if I can go out or not."
"Don't worry I took care of that
now go take a bath." I got up and went to the shower. Minutes later I
emerged from the bathroom with just my towel wrapped around my waist. He
grabbed me in a tight embrace and started bathing me with kisses.
"Keep that up and we may not be
able to go where you're planning to take me." I got out of his grasp and
went to my closet for a clean pair of boxers, shirt and jeans. He just sat
there watching me put on my clothes. I went to where he's sitting and took
his hand leading him downstairs.
We went to the mall and watched
Sweet Home Alabama and after that we had dinner. I was felt so contented
and happy just by spending time with Alex. Deep in my heart I was hoping
that this feelings would last until my last breath. Yeah probably but I
wished it would be with Alex but deep down I know it won't last. Maybe it
will but not forever, definitely not. We got to my house about nine in the
evening. I knew Alex would be tired with all the traffic so I told him to
rest for a couple of minutes before driving home. We went up to my room. I
put on my chill out CD and sat on the bed. Alex was standing in front of
the door looking at me with a devilish grin. He don't hafta say anything I
know completely what's on his mind. I stood up and started dancing with
Iris playing on the background and slowly taking off my shirt. Alex was
grinning from ear to ear. He also started dancing and followed me
stripping off his clothes. Finally I was stripped down to my boxers I sat
on my bed-crossed leg while I wait for him. When he finally reached me he
took hold of my neck and kissed me. It was a very hungry and very
passionate kiss. I was instantly high form it. I then traced my way down
to his penis. I needed this; I was hungry for him. I grabbed his briefs
and swallowed him whole. He gasped for air and then moaned. He was
squirming and trying to push his crotch deeper into my hungry mouth.
Within a couple of minutes he started shooting in me. It was urgent and
eager, full of passion and lust. After he shot his last he pulled out of
my mouth and pushed me to lie down and pulled my boxers down. He engulfed
me whole and gave me pleasure. It was rough and lustful. I was so turned
on by him that I shot after a minute. He got up and kissed me. We were
puffed trying to catch our breath lying in the bed side by side. I looked
at him. He was staring back at me with this contented smile plastered on
his face. I was in a daze knowing that I make him feel content. It was
12pm when Alex pulled out of our driveway. I slept with a smile that
night. The next morning I woke up five in the morning.
I went out for a jog just to
condition myself before classes. I felt like in heaven and nothing can
dampen my spirit. I was a little distracted in class. I can't stop
thinking of Alex. It seemed so perfect yet it reeked of some flaw.
Although I did not know what they are I just felt that there's something
missing. Signs of a heavy rain were obvious that day. I know I have to get
home before it started raining. Right after classes I went straight home.
Alex tried to convince me to go out but I declined. I was in luck coz the
rain hasn't started to pour yet when I got home. I went straight to my
computer to finish with my research paper. I can't concentrate even if I
tried hard to. My earlier realization kept on bugging me. Alex and me are
completely happy, we content each other and we love each other so what is
it that is missing? I looked outside the window I could see the drops of
rain pouring hard and the flashing of lightning. The rain looks so
calming. Without thinking twice I went out to the garden and sat on one of
the marble chairs and let the rain soak me. I just sat there thinking of
nothing but the cold drops of rain drenching my clothes and my skin. All
the thoughts I had earlier were left inside the house. I need a break and
the calming touch of the raindrops on my skin felt so consoling. Then a
mind's eye was beginning to form in my head without even knowing. This
would feel nice if Jake's here with me with his comforting embrace
contrasting the cold drops of the rain. How nice it would feel if I could
kiss him right now. But why does he have to be a complete jerk and ruin
our friendship. Is my happiness not important for him? I had been happy
when he and Joan got together and supported him. Why can't he do the same
for me if he really is my best friend? Or is he not comfortable with my
sexuality? No he is cool with it he assured me many times. But why is he
being unreasonable? But why do I have to think of him so much when he made it
clear he's not happy for me. But what he feels is very important to me
he's important to me. I still feel the same for him. Then it hit me I was
not over Jake. I still love him not only as a friend but more than a
friend. All this time I thought I was giving Alex my love but its my human
instinct to seek and acknowledge a warm feeling that would comfort me and
make me feel safe and I gladly accepted it coz Jake couldn't give that to
me. I finally found out what is missing. I tried to convince myself that I
would learn to give that same intensity of love to Alex. I should be
grateful Alex is there for me unlike Jake who's acting so bitter. I felt
enlightened already so I went to the bath to shower. After a couple of
minutes I was back in front of my computer with a renewed concentration. I
was typing my conclusion, the last part of my paper when mum called us for
dinner. Dinner was okay we had the usual family talk. My brother just kept
on looking at me when he thinks I don't' see him. Now am sure he felt
guilty over something he'd done. But I am not going to ask him I'll wait
for his conscience to eat him up. After dinner I went up to my room and
started proof reading my paper looking for some errors. After I finished I
went to my window and lit a cigarette while drinking a cup of coffee. I
tried to come up of romantic plans, stuff Alex and me can do. I have to
spend more time with him and start forgetting about my feelings for Jake.
The next two weeks were busy.
Considering that Alex and me went out a lot and I started avoiding Jake to
get him out of my system. I know I'm being too unfair and unreasonable to.
I can't just forget that Jake and me had been through a lot. He's like a
brother to me well more like to us, me and my siblings. All those years
the happy, sad and difficult times we've shared. I thought going out with
Alex more and avoiding Jake would lessen the intensity of what I feel for
him but I was wrong I missed him more. Even if just the littlest thought
of him boils up my blood pressure I can't ignore that I still love him
more than I love Alex.
It was early Saturday and I have no
plans. Alex is going to Cavite with his dad. I thought of staying at home
and helping mum with the house chores but she told me to go out and have
fun. I decided to go to the mall and check out some stuff. I drove the
Galant to Megamall. I decided to see what movies they're screening. I was
checking the monitor and nothing tickled my interest. So I just decided to
have coffee when I saw Jake staring at me standing a few meters away from
me. I was nervous all of a sudden. I can't read his expression. For a
couple minutes both of us just stared at each other not moving. Then he
smiled at me. I smiled back unsure of what am going to say to him.
"Hey nice to see you again. Who are
you with?" He started to walk towards me.
"Uh just myself. Nice to see you to
uhm so who's with you?" That was okay I guess. Am handling it okay.
"No one too. So you wanna hang out
with me? Its been a while since we spend time with each other." His eyes
were pleading with me to go with him.
"Okay since I was going to have
coffee too." We went to Figarro and ordered ourselves coffee. I insisted
on paying for our coffee but he beat me to it.
"So how are you?" Jake asked me
"I'm okay and everything's going
smooth I guess. Anyway how about you?" I lit a cigarette waiting for his
"I'm okay getting the hang of being
single. Oh before I forgot you remember John ayt? He's inviting us to his
party this coming Saturday. Do you want to come?"
"Uhu I do. So where's this party?"
I took a sip of my coffee, "I'll check it with Al then I'll just call
you." His reaction suddenly changed into something like sarcasm.
"Oh of course you hafta check with
the other lovebird. What he's taking over your life suddenly? Is he also
fixing your schedule for you?" Although he said it calmly the blow of his
words hit right past my self-control. But I tried to stay calm.
"You are impossible you know that?
Jake I don't want to argue with you. Lets have this conversation without
arguing okay?" I looked at him pleading.
"Okay sorry but please come to the
"I'll try okay? I'll call you
tonight and let you know. So you haven't seen someone who interests you
yet? Why don't you go out and date?"
"Uh I don't know I think I have.
But its too complicated."
"Really? Maybe I can help. Why
don't you tell me about this girl?"
"Its really impossible. She
already loves someone." He stared at me. He looked so lost, so vulnerable
and so helpless. I felt bad for him.
"Oh. That's not too bad in the
first place you have no claim with the girl. Just forget about her you're
a great guy Jake you'll find someone better than her." I tried to console
"I dunno, that person made a big
impact in my life for the longest time. Uh she made me feel
important, needed and always makes me laugh and cheers me up when I'm
down. I don't see my future without that person. I'm willing to change and
take what people have to say to me just to have that person in my life for
the rest of my life." He smiled at me with the sweetest smile ever that
melted my heart.
"Well then fight for her Jake.
That's the only way you can get to spend the rest of your life with her.
But you have to be responsible with your actions. It won't be easy; you
have to be strong dude. You might lose that person in the process." I
patted his arm to tell him that I'll be at his side whenever that happens.
"Thanks Joe. So uh I think I better
go mum just asked me to buy her some stuff that she needs. Come on I'll
take you home."
"Oh I brought the car. You go ahead
I think I'll window shop muna (awhile)."
"Are you sure?"
"Uhu I'll be okay. Come on go
It was already nine in the evening
when I got home. I went straight to bed. I was so exhausted I drifted of
to sleep not bothering to change my clothes. The next day we all went to
the church and had lunch in a cool resto mum wanted to show us. The rest
of the day I spent with Alex. We went to his house and had dinner with his
parents. I got home ten in the evening. I din't even bothered to read my
notes. Monday again, I felt tired but I still need to go to school to
submit papers and get resource materials for my classes. The rest of the
week went on okay. Jake was so persistent and kept calling me every night
about John's party. Finally I agreed to come with him. Alex is gonna be
busy with his feasibility study so he won't be able to come I told Jake. I
thought I heard him sigh in relief when he talked to me that Friday night,
hmmm my paranoid self and me. We agreed Jake would pick me up by seven in
the evening. I felt so tired I just slept the rest of the day. I was woken
up by my alarm clock at 6pm. I took a bath and readied myself. It was only
seven when I heard Jake pulled in front of the house. I was sitting in
front of my computer with just my boxer shorts when he went inside my
"Your early. Play some music first
am just checking my mail." I looked at him he was staring at me with a
weird expression painted on his face. "Are you okay Jake?"
"Uh yeah I am. Anyway come on make
it fast so we'll be there early." He went to my compo and played GOO GOO
DOLLS. After a few minutes I shut down my pc and went to my closet to get
a pair of jeans and a white crisp button down shirt. I was looking at Jake
from the corner of my eyes he seemed uncomfortable, shifting in his chair.
Finally he spoke.
"Uh I'll just wait for you
downstairs okay?" He left my room without turning my stereo off. That's
weird. After I put on my clothes dabbed some cologne I went downstairs to
find Jake. He was busy playing Grand Tourismo with my brother.
"Come on, we don't want to be late
don't we?" He got up from his chair and joined me. I went to the kitchen
to say goodbye to my mum. We went to his car and started the one-hour
journey to john's house. Jake was very talkative filling me up with what's
been going on with him lately. I was overwhelmed by the way he was
treating me. Both of us were trying to avoid topics that would heat up an
argument. We finally arrived at John's place. People were everywhere. Even
the huge garden was swarming with people. Those who knew us greeted us
along our trek inside the house. It was pretty cool but I'm not a real fan
of humongous parties packed with party people. As we entered the house the
smell of beer, punch, cigarette, sweat and even pot reeked. It was kinda
overwhelming coz I wasn't use to this scene anymore. We went from corner
to corner until we found John drinking with some of his bud. He invited us
to join the group. I sat comfortably on one of the chair and scanned for
people I know in the circle. Hmm I recognized some people to be John's
buddies from school. In my mind I was trying to remember some of the guys'
name when suddenly I almost fell out of my chair and coughed some of the
beer I was drinking as I laid my eyes on the third person to John's left.
Jake was on my back to catch me from falling and started patting my back.
Paolo was there sitting in the group. I was beet red from embarrassment
and resentment. I wasn't expecting to see him again; I know that was
unreasonable but nothing prepared me for that moment. He saw me coming I
guess and was a little prepared himself to deal with my presence but I was
caught off guard. I still resent him for abandoning me and for ruining all
the plans we had. I so wanted to kick him that time. It was too
overwhelming that I excused myself from the group. I told everybody I'll
go wash up in the bath. I've been at John's place for a couple of times
with Jake so I quite know my way. I picked the bathroom in the second
floor knowing that not much people would be there. I was right there
wasn't anyone in sight. I was about to go into the bath when I heard
footsteps behind me. I turned around and saw Paolo.
"Hey wait. I dunno I still have the
same impact to you. I should've made my presence known so you'd be
prepared." He was grinning trying to make fun of the situation. I frowned
"You never change a bit do you
Paolo. Still the cocky guy you are." I said with a hint of sarcasm and
proceeded to go inside the bathroom but he caught my hands.
"Wait. Are you avoiding me? Its
been quite long, don't tell me you haven't moved on?" His eyes were
pleading me to stay and talk.
"Wow you think you really made a
big impact in my life do you? I moved on a long time ago Pao. Why haven't
you?" I finally gave in and stood there looking at him waiting for
whatever he wanted to say.
"Uh I did. But I can't help
thinking and feeling guilty for what I did to you. I'm sorry."
"Like I've said Pao I have moved on
I don't give a damn on what you hafta say. I'd rather bury that part of my
life like the rest of my past. I wasn't expecting you to be here so I was
caught off guard when I saw you. Its only an overwhelming feeling. Let's
just forget about it." I gave him a smile. I was trying hard to convince
myself yet though. Am not really sure if I meant what I said. I was still
hurting from what he did to me. I was vulnerable then and I thought he's
gonna take care of me but he left me hanging. Its not that I still have
feelings for him. I felt helpless and alone after he left. He smiled at
"I...uhm I miss you. I din't meant to
leave you like that. But still I know its my fault. I missed you so much.
Lets try to work things out again Joe." He took my hand to his and looked
at me. I can't really say if he's sincere but I'm not that vulnerable guy
who fell for him before. I took my hand from his.
"I'm sorry Pao but I'm going out
with someone right now and besides there's nothing to work out between us.
We had our chance but you blew it, life goes on I did and you have to."
"I...I did but when I saw you tonight
I knew I still love you."
"Thanks but I don't. Go back
downstairs and enjoy yourself. Come on you'll find someone better than
uh...well not better than me so better than you deserve I guess. Hahahaha.
Come on Pao move on I did." I joked to lighten up the mood but I guess I
really meant what I said this time, everything I've said.
"Okay then I'll try. Have a nice
life Joe." He started walking away.
"You to Paolo, have a nice life." I
went to the bath and peed after which I went downstairs and told the guys
I'll go outside and look for someone I know. Jake wanted to go with me. I
tried to argue with him and stay with John but its useless. We got some
punch and each a bottle of beer and went outside. I knew Jake was enjoying
himself but I wanted to get out of there. The party was cool but I wasn't
enjoying myself. I told him I wanted to go but if he still wanted to stay
I'm not going to get in the way. But he said he wanted to get out there
too. John was a little disappointed, though. We were driving along Libis
when he asked me if I still wanted to drink. I said yes so we went to
Crocodile Bar and drank a couple of beers. I know if I don't stop Jake
won't too and he still have to drive us home so I said we better go. It
was 2:30 in the morning when we finally pulled in front of my house. I
told Jake he better sleep over. I still wanted to drink so I told him to
crush in my room and I'll stay in the garden for a few minutes. He again
wanted to come. I was amazed its like Jake can't get enough of my company
so I told him to grab two wine glasses. I went to get a bottle of red
wine. He was sitting comfortably in one of the chairs in front of our old
Mango tree. I stared at the tree for a moment. The tree looks real old I
wonder if I'm still going to be seeing it when am old. I poured each of us
a glass of wine. Jake doesn't seem to ran out of stories to tell. We used
to be like this before I came out to him. What could have happened that
made him change and start to open up to me again? I felt happy about it
but sad at the same time because I still don't know how to act in his
presence. There were many questions swimming in my head that time. Would
it gross him out if I started telling him stuff about Alex and me? Is he
still comfortable with me or it's just the alcohol kicking in. I was still
looking at the mango tree preoccupied when suddenly Jake started to lean
his face on mine. Oh my gawd he's going to kiss me!
"What are you thinking?" Jake
whispered to me and started giggling.
"Uh...oh nothing." How could I
entertain that thought. I felt stupid.
"Yeah right I was talking the whole
time here and you looked like you're in another galaxy. Come on what are
you thinking?" I faced him this time. He had this concerned look on his
"Some stuff. What's going to happen
to me after graduation? Am I going to work or should I pursue medicine? I
don't know what I want anymore." I thought of that as the safest answer.
"Yeah me too. I guess I still have
no plans after graduation. I think I'll take it easy for a year then
decide from there."
"That's a good plan I think." The
bottle of wine was half empty at that time.
"These past few weeks I had been
thinking. Thinking about who I really am, what I really want and what
would make me happy. You know what I found out?"
"Uh that you're superman?" He
laughed at my corny joke.
"Hahaha, no. I finally found the
person who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with." That's new. I was
"So who's this lucky girl then?"
This time he leaned in to me and kissed me on the lips. It lasted for a
couple of second with me frozen like an ice. He looked at me smiling. "Huh
what was that?"
"You figure it out yourself I had a
hard time doing that." He laughed at his own corny joke, stood up and went
inside the house. I was shocked. Does that mean I was the lucky uhm
person? I went inside the house and started to look for Jake when I heard
his car pulled from the garage. Huh why did he left? Did I do something
wrong? I was so tired and didn't have the energy to think of what
happened. So I went to bed and let the alcohol take me to dreamland.
The next day I woke up after ten in
the morning. I went down to the kitchen poured some cereal on a bowl and
started to eat. Our helper was cooking something I can smell tomato bacon
and pasta cooking.
"Manang (Short for sister and how
we refer to our helper) where is everybody?" I asked our helper while
reading the back of the cereal box.
"Ay they all went to the church. I
was about to wake you when your mum told me u got home late and just let
you sleep. Is that all you are eating Joey? I'm cooking fettuccine and
carbonara sauce. You want me to fix you a plate?" She said to me while
mixing the sauce.
"Uh ok thanks Manang." I continued
reading while waiting for the plate of pasta. After I ate I went straight
to the bathroom and took a bath. After an hour I was getting the keys for
the other car on my mum's room. I told our helper am going out and am not
sure what time I'll be back and told her to just call me on my mobile
phone if something came up. I went to the mall and went straight to the
bookstore and found an interesting novel. After paying for it I went to
Sugarhouse and ordered coffee. After an hour of reading and drinking
coffee my mobile rang. It was Jake. I wonder what he wants. Then suddenly
I remembered our little conversation in the garden. I was nervous as hell
and don't know what I would say.
"Uh Jake uhm what?"
I called your house but you
weren't there so I called your mobile.
"Oh so why are you calling me?"
Where are you? Are you doing
something? So what's your plan?"
"Am in Megamall particularly in
Sugarhouse drinking coffee and reading a book." I thought he might have
forgotten what he said. He sounded so sure and comfortable talking to me.
So have you figured it out yet?
Anyway uhm can I meet you there in like an hour from now? You're not with
someone are you? I mean are you alone?
"Uh...yeah I'm alone and yes an hour,
I'll be waiting in Sugarhouse." He's serious then. What could have
happened? Is he sure he's uhm gay? Did I made him gay? Oh God is it my
fault? Maybe he's mistaken it for something else. This is really
complicated. I thought of things I'm gonna say to Jake but I got tired of
it and continued reading and let the moment provide words into my mouth.
After reading about 5 chapters of the paperback I saw Jake making his way
to my table. He sat in front of me with this goofy smile and sipped on my
coffee. I can't help but smile myself. He looks really adorable with his
"Hmmm good coffee you got there. So
how was your day? How come you weren't home and having a great time with
your family?" He took the book from me and read the cover.
"They left me at home. Mum figured
I'm tired I guess. Anyway she's been bugging me to give myself a break. So
I did just that." I said trying to hide my discomfort.
"Wow I can't believe how much I
missed you when we just spent the whole night and uhm early morning
together." He smiled at me and lit a cigarette. I can't take this anymore
I have to say something about what happened this morning. We need to talk
"Jake uhm you know what you uhm did
this morning? What's that about? Are you experimenting or something?" His
smile turned into a serious stare. He took a drag from his cigarette and
exhaled the smoke then studied me again.
"No its not an experimentation.
I...I... it's a realization. Its why I've been acting real weird lately. I
told you I know now whom I wanted to spend my future with. Its not with
Joan or another girl. Fill in the blanks Joe." The waiter came to our
table and took Jake's order. "You want something Joe?"
"Uhm no, thank you." The waiter
left our table. "Yeah, but are you sure Jake. Maybe you're just mistaken
it for something else. Maybe you're just being selfish and you don't want
to share your best friend. Is it my fault? Did I turn you
gay? Oh God Jake come on. I do wish that for the longest time and I won't
hide it anymore but I don't want you to compromise yourself just to uhm
test the waters. This is complicated Jake its not like one of the games we
play when we're still kids. You're putting our friendship on the line
here. What if it doesn't work out and we end up hating each other. I don't
want to lose you as my best friend. Just be sure Jake, be very damn sure
about what you're getting yourself into. I don't make sense now do I?" I
looked at him he was trying to digest what I just said.
"You are right Joe this is going to
be complicated and I have to be sure of what am really feeling for you and
that's what I've been doing for the couple of months. You think I just
woke up one day and decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with
you, with a guy? I thought about this before I decided Joe. I weighed
things and you weighed more than anyone I could think of, well except for
my family but the point is I get jealous every time I see you with Alex.
The night after that party at your house when I saw you two cuddled up
together in bed I felt a pang of jealousy I should be the one making you
happy, happy in that way. I can't stand the thought of you kissing someone
else. I want you to kiss only me. I want to make you happy the way Alex
makes you happy." He sipped from my coffee.
"But Jake you know I'm going out
with Alex. And we have something special..." I wasn't able to continue not
knowing what else to say. I was trying to convince myself that I'm
completely happy with Alex. But that was the moment I've been dreaming of
and waiting for the rest of my life to happen and well it happened but I
am committed already and I have to honor that or maybe no. Then the waiter
came back to our table with Jake's order and left after he served it.
"I won't give you up with a fight.
But first look at me in the eye and tell me you don't want me the way I do
and I'll get lost. I mean I'll forget we ever had this conversation and
what happened this morning." He was determined, looking me in the eye. I
was really uncomfortable right now. I kept looking to my side then at him.
"I loved you before Jake and I
still do but..." I can't let this pass. I love the guy for god's sakes!
"That's all I needed to hear Joe.
Enough of this talks and argument, did you miss me?" He smiled at me. I
was caught off guard by his question. I sat there my mouth gaping and he
just started to laugh.
"Uh well I guess." Now it's my turn
to smile. He stuck his tongue out and proceeded to eat his pasta. We made
small talk asking each other stuff that's been going on with our lives.
After thirty minutes he was swallowing the last of his food. He called the
waiter and paid for our bill.
"Joe yah wanna watch a movie?" He
started to get up and took my book from me. Uh wow that was a little
"Okay what do you wanna watch
then?" I stood up and followed him to the movie world.
"Lets look at the titles playing
then." We went to the movie world but since we weren't interested in some
corny drama we just went to the arcade and played Daytona for an hour. I
don't remember having this so much fun in the longest time. After an hour
in the arcade my stomach started to growl. We bought some burgers and
fries for take out. Since Jake din't brought his car he drove mine. I was
quiet on the way home reflecting on what happened the last few days. I
love Jake very much but still am committed to someone and I just can't
ignore that. I love Alex and I respect him and I'm contented in our
relationship. He adds up to my happiness and that's all I needed. But I'm
not going to be a hypocrite and don't admit that I don't consider breaking
up with Alex. I know Jake is the one who's going to make me complete. Or
is it only what I think? I love Jake more than I love Alex and its unfair
for Alex. But Alex came first. I don't have to decide right now. I'm just
going to sit back, relax and enjoy the ride and let it take me to where
its going. I was still thinking when I was hurled on the dashboard of the
"What the hell Jake!" I forgot to
buckle my seatbelt. I looked outside to see what made Jake stop the car
abruptly. A shocked kid was standing in front of us. He was too petrified
"He's crazy!" He signaled the kid
to go on.
"God that was close. Are you
driving too fast?" He looked at me and laughed. "What's so funny you jerk.
You almost killed that kid!" I can't believe he's laughing.
"I'm sorry, I din't see the kid
crossing. You were in some kind of a trance a while ago and I can't help
but notice. What were you thinking anyway?"
"Nothing, now go on and drive am
tired and I want to sleep okay," I said.
"Okay sir. God why are you so
cranky just now?" He asked.
"Nah its nothing, can you turn off
the ac I want to smoke," I requested.
"No problem Joe. Can you light one
"Uhu," I retorted.
I lit cigarettes for both of us. It
was a little humid making me more irritable. We got home late because of
the traffic. I felt so sticky and showered. Jake waited in my room
sampling some of my new CD's.
"Not too loud Jake you don't wanna
disturb the whole neighborhood," I called from the bath.
"Uhu," he answered.
I got out of the shower after a
couple of minutes.
"You want to eat?" I asked him.
"Good thing you asked. I've been
starving since we got home."
"Come on let's go down."
We went to the kitchen and got us
some left over food. We ate while watching TV. Jake went home at 11pm. I
was too exhausted and went straight to bed after Jake left.
The next day I woke up early and
went for a jog. The morning breeze felt refreshing as I ran the barely lit
streets of our village. After my morning jog I went straight to my
computer sweat pouring over my body and checked my final and requirements
for my subjects. I started printing them and went to take a bath. The
computer was printing the last page of my case studies as I was drying up
myself. I got ready to go to school and pass all my requirements.
It was already 9am when I arrived
in our building. I submitted my case studies then went to the sunken
garden with my friends to smoke. Alex wanted to meet before lunch so we
could eat together. I stared at people moving from one place to another
with large bags on their shoulders while holding folders that they need to
pass. Thank God I finished with my requirements early. I wonder if Jake
got all his work done by this time. We'll be graduating three weeks from
now. My uncle promised me a job in a bank he manages. I know Alex will be
helping his dad with their business. Jake and I haven't got the chance to
talk about our plans after graduation. I was halfway through my pack of
cigarette when Alex showed up.
"Hey, you ready to go?" He asked.
"Uh yeah, lets go."
"Where do you wanna eat?"
"I dunno, its up to you." I said
"Hmm I think I'd like to have
Chinese. Why don't we go to Megamall ok? We'll eat at Superbowl."
"That sounds nice."
We went to the mall and ate Chinese
food. I knew I was being unfair thinking of Jake while am with Alex but I
still don't know what am going to do. I love Alex but I knew deep inside
that my feelings for Jake is stronger than what I feel for Alex. Alex was
telling me his plans after the graduation but I wasn't really listening to
him attentively. I was just looking at him but my mind is weighing all the
possible solutions and choices that I have right now. He finally noticed
that my attention wasn't with him.
"Hey you weren't listening. Hmm you
seem very agitated today. What's bothering you?" He asked me.
"Uh, its nothing what were you
saying?" I asked diverting our conversation.
"Okay I'll wait till you're ready
to tell me what's on your mind," ha said and went on with his plans.
He told me he'd work for some big
corporation after graduation. His dad wanted him to take over their family
business but he wants to try working for big companies and when he thinks
he have learned enough that's the only time he'll take over their
business. Again I started thinking. I don't want to hurt Alex by choosing
him over Jake but I don't think I can't stand being with Alex when I knew
in my heart it beats only for Jake. I knew I had to be fair with my choice
and I know just how to be fair alright. He took me to the movies and after
we went to have coffee. I tried to be attentive and ecstatic with his
already 10pm when I got home. Jake was playing video games with my
brother. I sat beside him and watched their game. After he lost the game
we went to my room. I changed to my big tattered shirt and boxers. He was
fidgeting with my stereo when I came in from the bath.
"So how was your date?" He said
with a hint of sarcasm.
"It went quite well. And please
don't start am tired," I told him.
"Sorry, I didn't know you were
going to go out. I was here four in the afternoon waiting for you. Anyway
it doesn't matter, you're here now," he said while giving me a hug.
I felt his hard on throbbing
against my back. I felt his tongue licking my left earlobe. I was too
tired but so consumed with the burning desire in him. I turned around and
kissed his hungry mouth. I felt him opened his mouth and his tongue darted
forward to seek entry to mine. I opened my mouth and let his tongue play
with my lips and teeth. I tugged and sucked at his bottom and upper lip. I
wrestled his tongue with mine. I felt his hands slipped to my butt and he
slowly massaged it while pushing me to his taut body. I let my hands
wander along his backside. I felt his firm muscles in the back. His hard
on was pressed against my abdomen. I didn't noticed when he got his shorts
off but now he's only wearing a pair of boxers and shorts. I broke off the
kiss and help him get his shirt off. I stared at his chiseled pectorals
and abs. He's time spent in the gym paid off well. I let my hands roam on
his pecs and abs. I kneeled in front of him taking with me his boxers. I
looked at his face, he was staring back at me his expression bursting with
passion and yearning. I let my gaze fall to his phallus. It was angry with
fervor. It stood seven inches. I let my tongue taste the white nectar it
spitted out then let my mouth devour the head. He let out a soft moan as
he touched my hair.
"Oh god you don't know what you're
doing to me right now," he said.
I groaned while I took his meat
inside slowly as he continued to mon. He kept on stroking my hair while I
started my phase with his meat. I let it out and let it slide in my mouth
wanting to please my love. Then suddenly he pulled me up and led me to my
bed after he took of my boxers and holey shirt. He showered my face with
kiss. He licked both my earlobes and kissed my forehead then both my
cheek. He then kissed me on the lips and started to duel with our tongues
grinding our hard-on against each other. After a couple of minutes he slid
down and licked my neck while taking hold of my dick. He started to
masturbate it while licking and sucking my neck and chest and nipples. I
stopped him when I was about to cum. I took his face and kissed him again
and licked my way to his earlobes.
"Uhh Jake make love to me. Shit I
want to feel you deep inside me. I want to feel your cum inside me
please," I begged.
"Are you sure? Shit I want it too.
I promise I'll be gentle," he said
I was about to push him aside so I
could get up and get my tube of K.Y. when he reached for his shorts and
took out a small tube of K.Y..
"Hey why do I have the feeling that
you planned this? Why do you have a tube of lube in your pocket?" I asked
while he continued to rub his hard dick against mine.
"Uhhh well uhm yeah..." he said.
"Oh god. Cum on babe start getting
me ready..." I said between moans.
"Have,uhh, you and Alex uhhh, uhm
what I mean is have Alex did it to you?" he asked
"No, not yet...we only blew each
other everytime. Now please Jake..." I begged.
He took the lube and squeezed some
on his fingers and next I felt his index finger enter my hole. I gasp at
the sudden pain of his intrusion. He went slowly as he embedded his whole
index finger into me and when he felt me relax he added another finger and
when he had three fingers in me he momentarily sat up and coated his dick
with the clear liquid. He panted as the cold liquid made contact with his
hard on. He got into position letting my legs rest on his shoulders. He
Put his dick on my hole and started to push it in. I wheezed at the swift
sting that his invasion brought. He tried to soothe me by kissing me on
the lips but this move forced more of his dick inside me making me scream
from the pain. He steadied himself and kissed me while saying sorry. Then
we heard a knock from my door.
"Hey you guys okay inside? Are you
guys fighting?" my brother asked from outside the door.
"Huh, yeah we're okay and we're not
fighting. You go back to whatever you're doing," I said.
"Okay." My brother said as he left.
Jake smiled nervously at me then
kissed me some more. I was still gasping from the pain. I breathed and
tried to relax my rectum from his invasion. When the pain was not as much
as before I told him to continue. He kept burying his dick in me. Finally
I felt his bush against my bum. I told him to stop for a sec and let me
adjust with the fullness of his dick. I felt really uncomfortable from the
burning sensation his invasion brought. When the pain wasn't too
uncomfortable I told him to go slowly in and out. He was so tender,
kissing me and stroking me every now and then. Then suddenly the pain
became a feeling of fullness and pleasure. He was hitting something inside
me that brought pleasure to me. I was moaning softly and urging him to go
faster. He took hold of my dick and started stroking it. His thrust became
faster, driving his dick in and out hitting my prostate gland adding up to
the pleasure I'm feeling. I tried to hold my pending orgasm but he
continued to masturbate me and kept hitting my prostate and that combined
pleasure took me to nirvana and I finally exploded. I came all over my abs
and chest. Some of my cum hit him on the nose. After a minute of thrusting
in and out of me his expression turned into full pleasure and his thrust
got faster and finally he drove his dick deeper and I felt it pulse and
suddenly I felt my insides get coated with his hot cum. When his orgasm
subsided he fell on top of me. He was trying to catch his breath.
"Oh Joe I love you, I love you very
much. God that was incredible," he said.
"I love you Jake," I said as kissed
him on the forehead.
He lied on his back and gathered me
in his embrace. My head was lying on top of his chest. I was drained and
exhausted. I dozed off in this position. I woke up at around three in the
morning. I was freezing. I got up and put on my shirt and boxers. I got
the thickest blanket I got, lied down beside Jake and spread the blanket
Just wait till i start the next chapter...
Well thats all for now folks.
Anywayz I'll really appreciate it if you guyz would e-mail me your
comments. E-mail me at