Date: Thu, 19 Sep 2013 16:01:57 -0700 From: Alan A. Subject: Jake Grimke: The College Years Chapter 1 NOTE: This is the fictional story of Jake Grimke's senior year at the University of Virginia where he is a standout D1 lacrosse player. It contains genuine and fabricated representations of his life on the Charlottesville campus and interactions with some of his old high school friends, new ones from UVa and his Maryland parents. All of the characters in this story are fictional and resemblance to any one person whether dead or alive is purely coincidental. If you liked this installment, please send some feed back; I got a rough idea where this is headed but I am always open to some suggestions. "I wouldn't go up there if I were you Jake," Erik Priest half suggested and half warned. Jake Grimke had just let himself in through back door of the Phi Gamma Delta fraternity house near the campus of the Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore early on a Saturday morning, hoping to catch his boyfriend Jose Valdez and maybe have a quick romp between the sheets before Jose and his fraternity left en-masse for Homewood Field to attend the Blue Jays' football opening home game. Jake knew Erik was in Jose's FIJI pledge class while he was finishing his senior year at Severn and was friendly with him on his visits to the frat. "Hi Erik," Jake replied in a hushed voice, knowing other members of the fraternity were still asleep after the party the night before, "why shouldn't I go up there?" Before Erik could reply a small yet athletic blond male student emerged down the steps from the second floor, followed by the darker and hairier legs that Jake instantly knew. As the two came down the steps, he recognized the second figure as Jose, his palms facing forward and gently spanking the khaki-colored cargo shorts covering the ass of the blond male, not unlike he would have done to Jake during one of his own FIJI house sleepovers before slipping out to the local coffee shop for a cup. Jake and Jose had been an item almost since Jake came out to the world during his senior year at Severn High School. There had never been a word spoken about what each would physically do apart while Jose pursued his architecture studies at Hopkins and Jake pursued his new major of mass digital media communications and played lacrosse at Jefferson's idyllic campus in Charlottesville. Of course, there were daily telephone conversations, emails, suggestive texts and even some lurid FaceTime activities on their Apple products when they were apart but the big "what if" talk had never happened. `Go have fun,' was often the next to last sentence Jose would utter before they parted and said, `I love you Jake!' and now it began to click in Jake's head what perhaps Jose was trying to tell him. And Jake would parrot back, `you too Jose, have fun' followed by `I love you Jose!' Erik bailed from the frat house lobby and headed for the kitchen for something to eat while Jose escorted the tanned blond crew-cut preppy male to the front door. Watching from a secluded position in the doorway to the chapter room, Jake clearly saw Jose lean in and kiss the boy good bye before skulking back inside wearing his flip flops, black Nike shorts and purple FIJI shirt. When he caught Jake out of the corner of his eye as he was about to head back upstairs; Jose froze, his usual beaming smile now flat-lined and his eyes registering the surprise his brain was now processing. "I guess you saw that," was all Jose could muster. Jake stood there, in well-worn jeans, Nikes and UVa Lacrosse long sleeve tee shirt as his blood began to boil. His palms sweated and he could feel a tear welling up in his eye, "is that what `go have fun' really means Jose?" Jose swallowed hard, "yeah, I guess so." "Fine, go have fun, have lots of fun Jose, just have it without me," Jake said with great firmness before turning and busting through the swinging door into the big kitchen where Erik was drinking coffee as he strode towards the back door and the red Saab. "Jake...Jake...JAKE," Jose pleaded loudly as he tried to catch the lacrosse player as he followed him out of the frat house's kitchen, "Jake, please listen to me." Jake stomped on the clutch with his left foot and stabbed the brake with his right as his right hand yanked up on the hand brake before killing the engine, "What?" "It's not what you think," Jose started. "Well, what am I supposed to think," Jake replied, his eyes burning into Jose's. "We just hooked up, a little beer at last night's party and, well, you know," Jose tried to rationalize with Jake. "No, I don't know," Jake said resolutely, "I've been to dozens of parties and never forgot my responsibility to you and to us. I could have had any piece of ass I wanted down there but promised myself to you and only you, for us, for our future." "I know Jake, I really really know that and I believe you," Jose, "I just don't have the resolve you do." "I need to think about this Jose, I really need to re-think this," Jake said, "how many other parties have there been that ended like this?" "A few, okay? He's not the only one," Jose began his confession. "Am I at risk?" Jake begged to know. Jose shook his head no, "I take precautions, I can be honest about that." "Finally a ray of sunlight in this mess," Jake said, staring ahead, reaching for his Oakleys. "Come to the game with us Jake, I'll get you a ticket; I just want to be with you," Jose pleaded, "I miss you, I really miss you, Jake-O." "I'm sorry Jose, I'm just wrecked right now, I think I need some time away," Jake said, his hand turning the key again as his foot stepped on the clutch again. "Jake, please, stop, reconsider, don't go away mad," Jose pleaded more. Jake released the hand brake, "I need to clear my head." "I love you Jake," Jose said, leaning in far enough to kiss Jake on the head since top was down on the convertible. "Love you too," Jake uttered, more out of habit than as an indicator that all was not lost as he found first gear and left Phi Gamma Delta heading for Annapolis. Jake took one last look in the rearview mirror at the saddest face he had ever seen Jose make. At the next traffic light he picked up his iPhone and thumbed through his contacts until he found Harmes, Evan and pressed call, placing the phone on speaker. "Hey wingman, how are you," Jake asked, trying to sound chipper. "Fine, trying to get my whites squared away for the game," replied Midshipman Evan Harmes, "you still coming?" "Yes, probably gonna be a little earlier than I planned, is that okay?" Jake asked his one-time Severn High lacrosse team mate. "Just means I won't be able to yell at Plebes as much this morning," Evan replied, "I'm sure they will be grateful; meet me in the lot next to the visitor center." "Okay, leaving Hopkins now, give me about 30 minutes," Jake said. "Cool, see you soon wingman, always and forever," Harmes. Hearing "always and forever" made Jake smile as his insides roiled over what he had just experienced. It was like a lifeline had been thrown to him, one that he could count on to sustain him. It was the lifeline he needed right now as he worked through the gear box, down Interstate 97 towards Annapolis that was already begin to burgeon with traffic for Navy's first home football game of the season. Jake wheeled into the parking lot after clearing the security gate and waited for Evan. As he stood outside his car waiting for Evan, Jake called his mother, Emma Grimke to remind her he would be home for dinner. "No Mom...just me...Jose can't make it...something at FIJI he has to attend....alright....I know...see you soon...I know....I love you too...I will." "Is that Emma saying hello to me too?" Evan asked, walking up carrying a white plastic bag, "can you lock this in the trunk please" "Oh yeah," Jake beamed, gently hugging Evan so as not to mess up his dress whites before he unlocked the trunk. Jake put the bag in the Saab's trunk before they found a Starbucks just inside Annapolis proper not far from the Academy's Gate 1 and sat themselves down after each getting very simple cups of black coffee. "What's up, wingman?" Evan demanded to know, sensing that Jake was out of sorts. "I'm not hiding it well am I?" Jake replied. "You never could," Evan reminded him, "what gives, I figured you would have your happy face screwed on after your planned surprise morning quickie with Jose." "Yeah well, I was the one who got surprised," Jake started recounting the tale as Evan's jaw dropped. "I got to FIJI just in time to see him showing out the dude he hooked up with the night before," Jake continued on, "then he saw me." "Oh my God! What the fuck bro; I thought he was true-blue," Evan exclaimed in a whispered shout, trying not broadcast it beyond their table. "Yeah, I think he was trying to send signals that I didn't want to read," Jake said, recalling how many times he heard `just go have fun." "So, what's next; what are you going to do?" Evan pressed. "Not sure," Jake pondered, "I don't need my senior year at UVa fucked, I got to have focus, I'm going to be co-captain on the lacrosse team this year and I still have almost as much school work as last year." "My two cents J-man," Evan said, hauling out his old term of endearment for Jake, "re-think any decision you are about to make; Annie; Mom would always say `if it's only going to make you feel good for five minutes, it probably isn't worth doing.'" Jake nodded as he listened to his wingman as Evan began to continue, "you're strong, resolute and compassionate Jake, I've seen you forgive before. Don't dig your heels in yet; you guys have been together almost as long as Jackie and I and it hasn't been easy for us with the distance and the work load either." "How is Jackie?" Jake asked, eager to change the subject. "I'll tell you if you promise to be reasonable," Evan demanded. "I promise not to do anything stupid; I still love him," Jake said with a nod and his confident smile, "you are always going to be my wingman." Evan reached across the table with both hands and clasped Jake's left hand and wrist as Jake sipped his coffee; "Jackie's fine; getting very excited about our wedding. We decided it will be in the chapel here rather than St. Mike's after Commissioning week. I, actually Jackie and I want you to be best man. She's already been emailing your mom for music suggestions." Jake clasped back with a big smile, "I promised her a long time ago I would do that for you two." "I'm close to a lot of guys here but you are my brother from another mother," Evan reminded, "wouldn't be right for you not to be standing up there with me." "I'm honored Ev, proud of you, proud of our friendship," Jake said, almost forgetting why he was in A-town an hour early. "Listen Jake, I know how you get when you take a hard hit; I want you to chill out and walk this off, really work all the angles before you decide anything. Don't check him back, he's probably hurt too. It's not just your life anymore, it's Jose's too," was Evan's final plea, "I got a few minutes before I got to form up for the march over. Here's your ticket, meet Annie in the parking lot at St. Paul's and you can tailgate with her and the Hanfords in Lot 1 before the game." "Thanks for being the voice of reason," Jake said as they tossed their cups into the trash; Jake batting at Evan's shot in midair and making it miss, just like they were still in the cafeteria at Severn; "I know have to think this through all the way like you said." "I know you will bro, I know you will," Evan said as they arrived back at the Saab, "pop the trunk Jake." Jake unlocked the trunk and Evan pulled out the bag he deposited earlier, yanking out an official Navy Lacrosse warm-up jacket, the lacrosse team logo on the left chest, the right chest with a big 18 and HARMES embroidered under it. "Here J-man, can't have you going in dressed like some Wahoo hoodlum at a Navy game," Evan said sharing last year's warm up jacket with his wing man. "18, Morehouse would have liked that, you kept your promise to him," Jake said somberly. "I know bro," Evan began his good bye, "Jake, as long as I have known you, things have always worked out for Jake Grimke, they always do, this won't be any different. Now get out of here, I got to go form-up with the brigade." There was a quick hug after Jake zipped up the jacket over his UVa lacrosse tee before he slipped into the driver's seat of his car; "I'll call you later, let you know how things turn out." "You better, GO NAVY!" Evan shouted as he walked back towards Bancroft Hall. "GO NAVY!" Jake replied, quietly adding, "miss you bro." Jake found his way to St. Paul's, just off Rowe Boulevard near the entrance to Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium and found Evan's mom and together they walked the short distance to Lot 1 where all the tailgate activity was taking place. "Great to see you Annie," Jake asked her, remembering how much she disliked being called Mrs. Harmes; "how are you doing?" "I'm just fine," she replied, holding on to Jake like he was her own son, "how are you; how's Jose?" Before breaking the embrace, Jake steeled himself, "I'm pretty good, it was great to see Evan now that there are less restrictions on him since he is finally a `firstie'. Jose is doing fine, just busy, busy at FIJI with all that frat stuff. You must be getting excited with the wedding in the future?" "I am, Emma offered to pick out some music for their ceremony but says the organist at the Chapel will have to play, she wants to be in the congregation for a change," Annie stated. "That's my mom," Jake said as they found Janet and Fred Hanford's tailgate spot. "Jake, did you meet Captain Hanford and his wife; Janet, from St. Michael's before you left for UVa?" Emma asked, "their son Riley is now a youngster, following in his dad's footsteps." "Captain Hanford, nice to meet you sir " Jake said firmly with an equally firm handshake. "Likewise Jake, how are things at UVa?" Captain Hanford asked. "Busy, busy," Jake replied, "playing D1 lacrosse is almost a full-time job there between strength training, team meetings, academic coaching sessions and the practices. Sometimes they even throw in an actual game!" "That's good to hear Jake," Janet Hanford replied, "our Riley has been moved up to starting kicker today." "Well, I am sure it will go through the uprights every time then," Jake said as he bit into the freshly grilled hamburger offered to him by Captain Hanford. "There's beer in the cooler if you like Jake," Fred offered as Janet poured red wine into Annie's cup. Thinking about how beer entered into the formula that resulted in the current state of affairs between Jose and himself, Jake settled for a bottled water. After more talk about athletics and academics, it was time to filter into the stadium and watch the brigade of midshipmen march on to the field before taking their seats. Riley Hanford made the opening kickoff for first half as Jake watched, familiar with football but not on the same intimate level as he was with lacrosse. He watched each play, grateful that he elected to play lacrosse rather than hurry up and wait football. The first half ended as Riley nailed another extra point before the teams took to their locker rooms for half time, Navy with a commanding lead. Just as Annie slipped away to find Evan for a mom and son hot dog and soda break, Jake's phone began buzzing in his pocket. Of course, it was from Jose and he sent the call direct to voicemail. Another. Voicemail. Another. Voicemail. Then the texts started. "Where are you?" Delete "Talk to me please" Delete "I still love you Jake-O" Delete "Call me, please." Delete "I want to work this out." Delete Jake stayed just long enough to watch the start of the third quarter before excusing himself to go home. He thanked the Hanfords for their tailgate hospitality and gave Annie a hug before finding his way out of the stadium, pausing to give a salute to one member in the sea of white uniforms before going back to his red convertible in the lot at St. Paul's. The drive to the Grimke home was only about 20 minutes from the stadium. Emma dropped what she was doing in the kitchen when she heard the familiar sound of her old car's hand brake being applied and ran out to hug Jake as soon as he stepped out of the car. "Jake honey, how's my baby boy?" Emma cooed into her 21 year old son's ear. "I'm fine Mom, just wiped out, been on the go all day," he said, a quick peck on her cheek. Emma shook her head seeing Harmes on Jake's chest, "won't you two ever stop sharing clothes? I swear half of Evan's clothing is in your closet and vice-versa." Jake listened, then unzipped the warm up jacket revealing his UVa lacrosse shirt, "Ev just wanted me to have some Navy team spirit, that's all." "I hope you don't mind, I just made some stuffed chicken tonight," Emma offered. "Mom, anything you make is better than what I can cook down there," Jake said reassuringly. "Go get cleaned up, your dad called and his relief came in early for him tonight so he could be with you," Emma said just as the other Grimke Honda pulled up the driveway. Jake watched his father emerge, wearing the white shirt with gold badge, nameplate and collar brass bearing the crossed speaking trumpets indicating the rank of battalion fire chief, Baltimore City Fire Department It was the first time Jake had seen his father since he was promoted the week before while Jake was in Charlottesville at his father's alma mater. "Hi Dad," Jake said giving his father a hug, "let me get a look at Baltimore's newest battalion chief!" "How are you Jake?" John Grimke hugged back. "Thought you would never take a chief's test, Dad? Those guys always forget where they came from," Jake said as they hugged. "You know about team work, coach trying to get his players in position," John started his reply "and when Carson Whitelaw suggests you do something, it's not just a suggestion, it's really just a friend to friend order that you follow." "I'm proud of you Dad, I know you will never forget where you came from," Jake said as the hug ended. "I thought Jose was coming; your mother and I haven't seen him since the start of summer?" John interrogated his son, wondering what the response might be. After the driveway reunion, the Grimkes walked inside as Jake started to recount the morning's events again with as much detail as he told Evan. It was John's last day of day work and he went to a cabinet and found some wine glasses before going out to the garage refrigerator for a couple bottles of DeLoach chardonnay. He uncorked the first one and put the second into the kitchen refrigerator before pouring three glasses. "DeLoach is a retired San Francisco fireman," Dad said as the wine settled in the glass. Jake smiled, his father always sharing some trivial factoid about other big city fire departments steeped in tradition like Baltimore. "Biggest east coast FD on the west coast," Jake offered, remembering how is father once said they were the only west coast fire department to wear traditional east coat black gear and leather helmets. Emma sipped from her wine glass as she finished the dinner preparations while Jake set the table. As much as John Grimke wanted to vent about being overloaded with administrative paper work whether for payroll or personnel actions, he bit his tongue and listened to Jake's problem before asking, "so, how bad do you think it is?" "Not sure, not what I wanted to come home to, not what I want to deal with right now," Jake answered. "Listen sweetie, I've always thought Jose was as responsible as you, he's never given us a reason to think any less of him since you all started dating each other when you were a senior in high school," Emma stated, suggesting she still had confidence in Jose. "I really think he was trying to tell me that he was doing this, and that he wanted me to be okay with it," Jake said. "Are you?" John asked on cross-examination. "Part of me is, part of me isn't; and then there is a grey area in the middle of it," Jake said, starting to think out loud, "and in his defense, we never talked about what we would do when we were apart from each other for extended periods of time." Emma continued to rally to Jose's defense, "what if the tables were turned, what would Jose find if he drove down to Charlottesville to surprise you like that?" "Not what I found this morning," Jake said with confidence. "Son, I think you answered your own question; you two need to put your big boy pants on," and with a touch of paternal warning, "and keep them on, and then have a heart to heart. This isn't just for one of you to decide anymore; there is a lot at stake here. Jake, son, just promise me one thing: don't ever trade a relationship for an outcome." "I know," sighed Jake, "I just have to get the anger out of my system." "Jake honey, have you talked to him since this morning?" Emma asked. Jake nodded no. "Call him, I'll keep your dinner warm," Emma said. Jake took a swallow of wine and excused himself to the family room and dialed. "Hey, how are you?" Jake said into his phone.