Date: Mon, 03 Oct 2005 17:20:56 +0000 From: Steve Thomas Subject: Jamey is gay, Ch 16 This is a work of pure fiction, but based on the author's feelings, beliefs, and in some cases, experience. Come to think of it -- it might not be very pure either! There may be graphic sexual encounters at times between men, so if this offends you, you are invited to retreat. If you are too young or it is otherwise illegal for you to be reading this kind if story, shame on you for reading it - - please stop here. If not, - - ENJOY! Cast of Characters: James Thomas Arthur (Jamey) Harold Brian Arthur -- Jamey's Brother (Habby) Harold Garfield Arthur -- Jamey's dad William Pitts -- Roommate (Will) Ronny -- Will's best friend. George Wiggins Darrel -- George's roommate Dr. Steve Jordan -- Doctor Grant (Buddy) Windward -- Waiter at Holdren's John -- Neighbor across the hall. Jerry -- John's roomie From Chapter 15: Steve and I talked into the evening. There was no talk of staying the night. At about 11:30, I said I should be getting back. He was almost falling asleep in front of the fire. Well, so was I! He popped up and grabbed our coats and threw mine to me. Before he opened the door, he asked, "May I kiss you?" "I've been dreaming of it all night!" I said. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me tenderly. Not too much tongue. But so tenderly. Our bodies were in full contact. I could feel his soldier getting aroused, as I am sure he felt mine. Then he took me home. At home I fell into bed. Before I was completely asleep, I heard John's familiar tap on my door. I ignored it. Chapter 16 "WHAT DO YOU WANT! WHAT DO YOU WANT! WHAT DO YOU WANT! WHAT DO YOU WANT!" All three of my guys were standing in a row yelling at me. I tried to hold my ears, but it didn't help. I knew I was dreaming, but that didn't make it any better. "ARRRAAAHHHARRRAHHHAGH!" I sat bolt up in my bed. I thought I heard an echo. I was sweating from head to foot. I heard John's tapping again. I didn't want to answer it. I sat there for a moment, feeling guilty that I didn't answer it earlier. "C'min." I said. "You okay?" He said, sounding alarmed. "You were screaming at the top of your voice." "Sorry. Nightmare." "Wow! Pretty intense, huh? Wanna talk about it?" "No -- thanks. I -- um -- what time is it?" "It's 12:35." "Oh, gosh! I just fell asleep!" "What were you thinking about before you went to sleep." "I said I don't want to talk about it!" I snapped. "Sorry!" He said. "Well, yeah. Guess I'll just go back to my - " "No!" I exclaimed. "Sorry I snapped at you. Um -- you wanna stay?" "You afraid to be alone?" He said. "Afraid?" "Well, maybe not - " "No, not afraid. But I don't want to be -- alone -- at the moment." I found myself wishing that -- but I pushed it out of my mind. John was here now. "Let me get my pillow." He said. I lay back down. He was gone longer than I thought he would. By the time he was back, I was nearly asleep. It was obvious when he returned, that he took time to brush his teeth while he was in his room. This time he assumed that he was sleeping with me. I moved over and he shed his boxers and came into the bed. "You sure you're okay?" He said softly as he snuggled up close to me. "Mmm -- yeah." I said dreamily. "M -- better -- now." I said and he kissed the back of my neck. "Thanks." I said. That was the last thing I remember. He could have probably done anything to me after that. I was dead to the world. I know John wouldn't take advantage like that, though. "I know you're gonna like this." Steve's voice echoed through my body. I felt something wet on my anal sphincter. Then I was looking deep into Steve's eyes. I could see eternity in them. I could see the stars and the moon and the sun all at once. "Jamey, just relax." It sounded like ten Steve's were talking. But it was gentle and reassuring. I thought, "It's a dream, but I don't want it to be a dream." I felt it go in me. It slid in and out gently with no pain at all. It felt good. Then I felt his lips on mine, and his finger kept sliding in and out. "Are you ready, Jamey?" Echoed in my head -- no in my body -- over and over. "Are you ready? I don't know if you are ready, Jamey. It's okay, I'll wait. I'll wait. I'll wait. I'll wait." His soothing voice echoed over and over, as I felt his finger slide in and out and his lips touching mine. "What?" Said the form beside me. I opened my eyes. John was looking at me -- puzzled. I was confused. I thought it was Steve. I blinked. Recognition surfaced. "Oh! Yeah. It was -- another dream." I said, sleepily. I turned over and nuzzled my face into his neck. He rubbed my head and neck. "Thanks. I said groggily. "Thank YOU!" he retorted. I chuckled, and went back to sleep. I felt him extricate himself from me, but I didn't really wake up. "Hey, Sleepy head, we ever going home this morning?" I woke with a start. There was Buddy, standing in the door. Looking at John and me. "Don't you ever knock?" I said, wiping sleep from my eyes. John looked horrified. "Sorry!" He said, clearly not sorry. I was beginning to wonder if he was schitso. He was definitely in his man-about-campus persona. He continued to stand there. "Wait down in the common, Grant!" I demanded. "Oh-Kee!" He said, smiling, and he backed out, closing the door. Clearly he wasn't bothered by what he found - - as much as I was that he found it. John got up and not saying anything, he started out the door. "Hey!" I called. Not even a g'bye?" "You're boyfriend is waiting down there." He said matter-of-factly. "Wha -- at?" I retorted. "He's NOT my boyfriend. I -- I don't HAVE a boyfriend." "Oh. Really? So -- there's still a chance for me?" "For you?" I said slightly amused. "Last I knew you were still trying to figure out if you were straight or bi - - and if our friendship could amount to anything." "Did I say that?" He asked. "No -- not in so many words. I just assumed - " "And therein lies the problem -- right?" "Well, I'm glad we're not together! If we were, this might be our first fight!" I said, looking for any bit of anything in his face. He looked at me for a long moment and then his face broke out into a smile -- then he laughed. "You're right." He said, simply. "And -- you -- have you -- um -- made up your mind? Do you still like girls? Do you like guys? Do you like both?" He looked up at the ceiling for a moment. Then he said, "I really don't know. That's what you're right about. All I know was I was really happy when you asked me to stay last night -- and - - I really liked cuddling with you -- all night." I was nearly dressed. I said, "Good. I'm pretty confused right now myself. And - - I liked you there last night too. Well, I guess I better go down and face whatever he has for me." "You think he's pissed?" "He's a hard one to read." I said. I could have said more, but it wasn't my place to expose Buddy's secrets. "Ok! Well, good luck and have a great weekend -- maybe not TOO great!" He said and winked at me. He disappeared behind his door. When I got to the common, Buddy was looking at a magazine someone left on the table - - and humming. "Ready?" I said, still expecting a somewhat less than great response. He looked up in surprise. "Oh! Yeah!" he said with a bright smile. Wow. I thought. "So -- got anything planned for the weekend?" I said. "Naw." He replied. "Well, nothing exciting, anyway. Got some studying to do. Some catch up. Heh." "Oh? What're you catching up with?" "I -- uh -- had a sort of -- um -- date last night." "Oh!" I said and tried my best to smile. Suddenly something was screaming inside me. Actually there were more than one voice screaming. One was rather crying. The other was saying, "What are you crying about? You're dating other guys!" I was really confused, on one hand, hurt on another -- and at the same time I was disgusted with myself. I had no right to feel -- well -- jealous! But -- I -- was! "You and John looked pretty comfy this morning. He looks like a pretty sweet guy." He said. It felt like the knife was twisting between my ribs. "We -- er -- didn't -- DO -- anything -- actually." "Well, - good -- I mean -- I guess -- that is," he stammered. "I mean, well, you looked pretty happy -- both of you." "I -- uh -- guess we were." Damn, I felt uncomfortable! I was getting a headache. "Um -- look, I -- um -- don't feel to well -- headache. Would you mind driving home?" "Drive your Z??!! Yeah! Duh!" I pulled over as soon as we got out of town and we switched positions. I put on my sun glasses and closed my eyes. He got us on the freeway and pointed us home. I started to think about my situation. I'm not old enough to settle down -- am I? I want to have my freedom to choose and date whom I please, but then I felt so damned jealous! I squeezed out a tear. I'm not sure if it was because of the jealousy, the hurt or my frustration with my self and my obvious double standard. "You okay, Jamey?" Damn! I didn't want him to see me! "Not really. My head is pounding." "Maybe -- um -- do you have any aspirin?" "Doesn't work much for me. Yeah, why don't you stop at the next place I can get some ibuprophen." My headache really was getting intense. Actually, the more I thought about it, the closer it got to feeling like it was gonna explode. "Buddy, I -- I -- really like you!" I blurted out. He looked at me momentarily, then back at the road. His look was incredulous. "I -- I mean - " I shook my head -- hard -- it was pounding so hard. "Pull over -- QUICK!" There was no off ramp near, so he just pulled over to the shoulder. This normally is illegal on a California freeway. As soon as he stopped, I threw open the door and barfed last night's dinner -- or what was left of it, then kept dry heaving and crying for about 3 -- 4 minutes. He was out of his side and ran to my side. He held my head and patted my back. As my stomach stopped its spasms, he said quietly, "I like you too, Jamey -- a lot!" I wiped my mouth on my sleeve and forced my way away from him. I tried to speak, but I couldn't. He just looked stunned. Finally, I said, "I know you do! That's what -- what -- is -- hurting me so much!" "You -- you -- don't feel that way about me -- I know." He said, very sedated. "No! I do! I do!" I cried. "It's just - " "Yeah, I know," he said, "It's just that you also feel the same about -- John." It broke my heart the way he said it. I was on my knees, still. I rocked back and sat on the car seat. I still felt sick, and even weak, but I couldn't cry any more. "I'm sorry, Bud. I just am really confused." "Hey!" he started, "Don't worry about it so much. I already knew what the score was. But -- don't think I didn't notice your face when I told you I had a date last night. We didn't have sex either, but - - no promises there." He waited for a response from me. When none came he went on, "But Jamey - - I want you. And I am prepared to wait for you. But don't expect me to put myself on ice while you decide." "I don't." I said. "and -- well, obviously -- I know how you feel when you see me with John or - " "Oh yeah. There is that other -- doctor dude -- isn't it?" I took a long breathy sigh. "Yeah." I said dismally. "Dude, I said don't worry about it -- and I meant it. I was your age not that long ago. I know how it feels to be -- or to feel that you are -- too young. It's just my bad luck to fall for a guy as young as you. But I'll wait for you to -- um -- decide." "I just feel like such an ass hole." "No! Please don't feel that way. I feel like one too, for telling you this: I won't wait forever. Because I know how it hurts you. But that's how it is, and you should know it. I want you, but I can't wait forever." "I know." Shall we get back on the road? You still want me to drive? I'll take it really easy." "K". He kind of helped me back into the car, and closed my door. When we were back on the road, he said, "Jamey, I really like you, but I don't want to stress you out. I know what it is to feel like you do. You may not realize it, but 2 or 3 years makes a big difference at our age. And everyone is -- well, different. Heh! I just learned that in psych, yesterday!" Even I laughed at that remark. I also noticed that he wasn't saying he loved me. I wondered if he was just being more careful, or had he given it some more thought, and realized that what he felt wasn't love - - yet. My feelings for Buddy were so intense. I wouldn't say it, but this feels like love to me! But - - I also feel it for John -- and Steve. Steve is so respectful of me and my space. I like that. And I loved John's timid sweetness. But -- Buddy's hot forward way turns me on! He is hot and yet he is sensitive also -- obviously. As if he were reading my thoughts, he said, "You know, I have my times too." "Your times?" I said. "Yeah. I have this front I put on at school -- you know, Mr. Cool and all." "I noticed." "Me too." He said matter-of-factly. "When you showed up at my house, it really freaked me out. It was like one of cool Grant's friends all of a sudden met not-so-cool Buddy." "Wow." I said. "What?" He asked. "Well, I knew both of you -- er, I mean -- well, yeah! I know both your -- well -- sort of personalities. But - - I guess I'm just surprised that you -- um -- know it -- I guess." "Know that I'm a little schitso, you mean? Well, I think everyone is like that to some degree. Don't you show different people different parts of your life? Sure you do. You don't flaunt your sexuality -- you only tell certain people -- right?" "Sure!" I said. I was gonna say, "but" but he went on -- "And look at you. All preppy , driving this awesome Z and all. I won't always be forced to live like I do -- at home -- but it's what I have now. And I deal with it pretty well. But - - I just don't choose to flaunt that part of my life at school. So I choose to be what I want to be. Some people that know me well, say I overdo it. They're probably right. But that's how I keep it separate, I guess. At school, I am the guy who knows what he wants -- and is getting it. And part of what I want -- is you!" he said very positively, then added, "I think." I felt my face get hot. I smiled. "That feels good." I said. "And I want you to choose me." "I -- I know." "But, I know that I am just one of many that want you." "I don't know about many - " "I'm sure it is. The fact that you have chosen three to decide from -- that's your thing. But you have to know that there are a lot of guys -- and girls -- who get off watching you every day." "Nuh-uh!" I said, blushing even deeper. He was grinning and I saw his impish smile and I laughed. "Now you're playing with me!" "I like playing with you!" he said, putting his hand on my crotch and squeezing. I put my hand on top of his and looked steadily at him, the smile leaving my face. He glanced over and caught my change in attitude. "God, you're sexy!" he said. "A little while ago, I said I really like you. Jamey -- it's more than that. It is! But I'm trying to -- to -- hold back. I'm afraid -- I mean really afraid -- of getting hurt. If you get hurt, you have your family to go back to -- to hug you and hold your hand. I don't have any of that. So I have to be careful -- I guess." "I don't know what to say, Bud. I -- uh -- think I feel the same -- when I'm with you -- but - " "But you also feel that way when you're with Steve and John -- right?" "Yes." I admitted with a sigh, to the floor mats. "And I don't want to hurt any of you." "Here's my suggestion -- well at least when you're with me." He said. "Don't worry about hurting me! I'll worry about that. But when you're with me -- can you give yourself fully to me? I want to experience what it's like to have all of you while you're with me." I frowned slightly. "I don't mean your body, Dude." He continued. I mean -- when you're with me, just pretend that those other guys don't exist. Don't worry about hurting me. I want to experience all of you so -- so I can decide if that's all that I want." "Oh!" I said. That appealed to me. I brought his hand up to my lips and kissed it, then sucked on one of his fingers -- you can guess which! He held the steering wheel with his knees while he rubbed his own crotch. "Hey!" I said. "Keep your hands on the wheel, Dude! I can handle that task." I then squeezed his package with my free hand, and sucked harder on his finger. He moaned a little. I unzipped his pants and extricated his otherwise trapped piece of wood. He shivered a little and moaned again. "You wanna stop?" He asked. "You know a place that we can - " "Oh yeah! Right up here is a secluded beach that will be deserted this time of year." He pulled off the highway and drove on the frontage road for a time. Then turned down a dirt road toward the beach. He came to a stop on a cliff overlooking the ocean. There was a grassy flat area, but it was too cold to lie down, so we walked over to the edge of the cliff, and I wrapped my arms and body around his. We were soon kissing and breathing hard, caressing every part of each other's body we could reach. I dragged him to a bench, and I sat and opened the rest of his pants up. I took him into my mouth and he was almost shaking -- and NOT from the cold. I looked up at him, and he looked desperate. I told him to go for it. He shoved it in and out of my mouth faster and faster until his knees started to tremble. I grabbed his smooth butt to hold him up and finished him up as he shot load after load into my mouth. I was surprised that I wasn't cumming too, it felt to good to me! When he was finished, he hugged my head against his torso, his quickly softening meat in my mouth. I hugged his baby soft butt and kept sucking, but I was careful, knowing how tender he was at this moment. He knew me well enough by now that he didn't assume I needed to get off immediately. "You wanna drive now?" He said sleepily. "Yeah, I'm okay now." I said. Even though it was only still morning. He fell asleep beside me, with a satisfied smile on his face. I know - - duh! I marveled over the fact that I felt I got as much satisfaction out of that as he did. In his sleep, his hand went to his crotch, and my tummy twitched as I still tasted his spunk in my mouth. It was beginning to taste almost good. Especially with the association that it held for me. Of course my tummy wasn't the only thing that twitched! We stopped for a McDonalds breakfast. When we got back in the car, he said, "You know, you're not the only one who likes his partner to get off!" "Oh!" I said. "I don't know what to say. We'll be home in ½ hour. Where can we - " "There's always my place. No one's there." I didn't say anything, but I was warming to the idea. "Look, if my place isn't good enough for you - - !" "OHhh! Nooo! Not a -- I mean -- why would you even think -- it's fine. I was just day-dreaming about it." I smiled. His sudden anger melted away. "Sorry! I'm a little too touchy, I guess." "No problem. There really is no hurry -- oh -- you said you wanted to -- okay." "No hurry? I may not see you the rest pf the weekend -- and you say no hurry?" he cried. "Why wouldn't we see each other for the rest of the weekend?" I asked. "I dunno. I wasn't gonna assume - " "Good. Don't assume anything. But I don't have anyone else down here. Both my -- er -- both Steve and John are up there. I'm yours for the weekend -- if you want me." He looked at me almost incredulously. "Want you? Do you have any doubts about that by now? But -- certainly you want to spend time with your family -- right?" "I -- guess. Sure! But -- you -- can spend time with us too -- right?" "Oh, God! I'd love that!" "May beeee - - " I started. "Yes?" "Maybe we can go to my place and spend the day with my family -- well, that would be my dad and my brother -- then we could maybe -- erm -- go to your place tonight -- for the night?" "That's be cool." He said. "But -- I wanna stop at my place on the way." "Sure! You wanna grab some clean clothes, and - " "Well, yeah -- that -- -- too." He grinned. "Oh!" I said, suddenly getting his drift. "Okay!" When we got to his house, it was of course late morning. Kids were running down the dusty dirt street, waving at us. I pulled up in front of his house, and I realized I had no tooth brush. "Dude! I don't have a tooth brush! After that McDonalds breakfast I need to!" He smiled at me. "We're you planning to kiss me?" "Duh!" "Then you can use my tooth brush!" As we went in and he lit the furnace, I wanted to ask him why he even kept this place when he lived in such a nice place in Santa Barbara. But I didn't. As in the yard, It was perfectly neat and clean inside. "Do you want some help mowing your lawn and stuff?" I offered. "Well, if I'm gonna spend the day with you, I guess I'll take you up on that one. He closed the door and attacked me. "God, I'm the one who got off, and I can hardly keep my hands off you." He said. "Uhmm -- I don't believe you ARE keeping your hands off me! And that's just fine with me!" I giggled. "Nice!" He said, as he grabbed my pole. "What?" I said, breathlessly. "This feels so nice! Not too big. Not too small." "Pretty small! Can there be such a thing as too big?" I asked. "There could be if you got a log rammed up your ass!" "You've had that happen?" "No, but I can imagine it wouldn't feel too good." I grabbed his and it was his turn to squeal. I giggled again. "You like that?" I said. "This piece is a lot more than I have!" I exclaimed. "Well, we'll take it slowly." He said. "Um -- well -- yeah. I -- um -- really want to take it slowly." I said, cautiously. I didn't want to ruin the mood, but I also didn't want any misunderstanding. "No problem. No hurry." He said cheerily. I relaxed -- for a moment. Then he kissed me and started to stroke me. I was so horny, I almost came on the spot. I jerked away. "Not YET!" I said. "Wo!" he answered. You're ready that soon? "Heh. Well, I've been waiting all morning." He gently led me to his bedroom. He had a double bed set up with not much furnishing. But there was a dresser of sorts, and a small walk-in closet. He helped me out of my clothing, and also took his own off. He looked soooooo good. Soooo HOT! He pushed me down on the bed, and proceeded to slowly and gradually bring me back to my full state of readiness. I wanted to scream out my joy, but I didn't want to alert the neighbors. He swallowed every drop and milked it all as much as he could, until I was soft and whimpering like a little boy. I lay there in his arms for about ten minutes. Unlike Buddy, I didn't fall asleep after. I insisted on doing him again. He didn't argue. His dick in my mouth was pretty big. I tried to swallow it -- just as an experiment. It was too big around for me. When we got to the end, I sucked and jacked him at the same time. Also unlike me, he got pretty wild. He did scream out. I felt like I was king of the world. As he got soft, it all fit in my mouth. That felt awesome! "Nuh-UH!" I cried. " THIS time you don't get to go to sleep!" He was drifting off again. "What? You want more?" He laughed. "No, silly! We need to get over to my house -- my family." "Oh." He said. "You go. Come back later and get me." "Really?" I said -- surprised and a little disappointed. "Yeah. I -- er -- well, besides feeling groggy from the sleeping potion you gave me -- again -- I'll feel like your dad knows -- if we go right over there now. Pleeeeeeease?" "If that's what you want." I said. I kissed him and got dressed. When I went to say good bye, he was sound asleep. "Bye." I said, quietly. "Call me later." "MM-mm." He mumbled, and turned to the wall. I stood for a moment and watched him sleep. His naked body on the sheet was so sexy looking. His butt is marvelous. I threw the blanket over him, turned and went home. My dad and Habby were glad to see me. They had waited breakfast, and Habby was ravenous. I felt a little guilty. Dad fixed his famous waffles and eggs and bacon, and I was surprised how hungry I felt, considering our stop at McDonalds. "So -- did you bring Grant home with you?" Habby asked. "Yeah." I said nonchalantly. "Why didn't you invite him for breakfast?" Dad asked. "He just wanted to stick around home this morning. He was up pretty late last night, and was sleepy. I might go over there this afternoon and help him mow his lawn -- and stuff. "I'll go and help!" Habby volunteered. "You have your own yard work to do, mister!" Dad said, winking at me. I blushed. Dad knew why I wanted to go back to Buddy's! Damn! I wondered if somehow he could tell that we had just finished -- fooling around! An epiphany: "Naw, Habby can come!" I said. "I'll help him with his stuff before we go." Habby beamed. "Cool! I like Grant!" Habby said. "Me too." Said Dad. We finished our brunch, and I went outside and helped Habby trim up our yards. It was cold out, and so there was not very much to trim. When we were finished, I called Buddy, not wanting to surprise him again. "Sure! Bring him over!" Said Buddy. _ "Hi Grant!" Said Habby. "Hey, Handsome!" Buddy answered. Habby glowed. "Where do we start?" Said Habby. We clipped the long grass around his shrubs, and mowed the longish grass. Buddy looked happier than I remember seeing him, watching the two of us do the little jobs he assigned us to. When we were finished, Buddy said, "So -- what can I do to thank you guys?" "Nothing!" I said, quickly followed by Habby. "When are you guys gonna take me to that club in Long beach?" He asked blatantly. "You're too young for that place, Habby." Said Buddy. "Oh. Yeah. Forgot!" he said, then his brightened. "But didn't you say there was a juice bar or something in Bellflower -- where I could go?" "The place in Long beach is a gay establishment. The one in Bellflower is not. Why did you want to go?" Asked Buddy. "I dunno. Just curious -- I guess." "About - - ?" Said Buddy. "Ohh - - you know! Didn't you say that gays go there?" "Why are you so interested?" Asked Buddy. "You're not gay - - are you?" "No." He said it almost like a question. "Aren't there gays at your school?" "Yeah, but -- they don't do very much stuff. Before I got into high school, I heard how they would kiss in the halls." "Yeah. They were doing that when I was in high school." Said Buddy. "But they banned it -- for anyone now!" Said Habby. "I heard it was because of the gays starting to do it. Now there are a lot of straight guys pissed at the gays for ruining it for them!" "Isn't that just too f-ing bad!" Said Buddy. "Anyway, I was hoping - " " -- that we would take you with us somewhere you could see guys make out?" I said. "Are you sure you're not gay, little brother." "No!" "You're NOT sure?" Buddy teased. "NO!!" He said frowning. "I mean Yes! I mean -- I'M NOT GAY!" Both Buddy and I laughed. Habby couldn't help but smile. "Trust me," I said, "My brother is 100% hot blooded American Straight boy!" "When are we gonna celebrate our birthday?" Said Habby. "You guys have the same birthday?" Said buddy. "Mine's November 4th, and his is the 5th." I said. "So we usually celebrate together." "Cool! So you'll be 20 and Habby will be - - ?" "Sixteen!" Habby crowed. "FINALLY I can drive!" "Well, just in case I'm not there for your birthday, I think we should take you with us tonight." Buddy said. Habby beamed! We finished up trimming up Buddy's yards and we went back home to get cleaned up. My little brother couldn't help teasing me about my little package. "So does Grant know that you have such a little one yet?" "That's none of your business!" I said. "And size isn't everything." "Yeah, that's what all the little guys say!" "Shut up!" I retorted. "Just because you're hung like a donkey -- I can't help that. I'm more close to normal than you are." "Yeah, you're right -- the small side of normal!" I was tempted to tell him how well my little guy had served me so far, but I didn't. Habby satisfied his curiosity about gay guys and some of their actions in public at the juice bar. He was more than ready to leave when I suggested it at 11:30. I let him drive home. We had Dad's car, because there were three of us. Dad was more than willing to trade me. Habby started to drive to Buddy's place, but I told him to drive home. "Grant's staying with us tonight?" He said. I looked at Buddy. "I think I'm gonna stay with him tonight." Buddy nodded. "Oh." Habby said with a slight frown. Then his face lit up into a huge smile. "OOOooohhh!" He said. "Tell Dad so he won't worry -- k?"? I said, ignoring Habby's insinuation. My car was already in the driveway, so it was pretty probable that Dad didn't score tonight. We traded cars and drove to Buddy's. The juice bar pretty much satisfied my brother's curiosity, but I was very turned on. Neither Buddy nor I are exhibitionists, but I wouldn't have done anything stupid in front of my brother anyway. As soon as Buddy's front door was closed, he turned on me and pulled me into a crushing hug. "Omigod, I have been hungry for you all afternoon and evening!" he said. I chuckled and had to agree. My hormones were dancing at least several feet beyond my skin! We got naked immediately and then we cuddled, kissed and sucked just about every part of each others body that we could get our hands or mouth on. We fell asleep in each other's arms somewhere after two PM, I'm sure. As we lay under the covers, keeping each other warm (it was a cold night, and Buddy didn't keep his place very warm), I asked him, "Bud, does my -- er -- size bother you any?" "You're size?" He asked. "My dick -- it's pretty small as dick's go." "I didn't notice. I haven't had that much experience. If it was much bigger, it would choke me." He thought a moment. "Oh! Is mine any problem?" "I could get used to it. I don't think I could ever take it all in." I said. "You mean in your mouth -- down your throat?" "Yeah. I tried the other night. It choked me." "Oh! I'm sorry." He said. "Don't be. Maybe one day when we -- I mean if we - " I stopped. I decided at that moment in time that he was GOING be my first. "Buddy, I love you." I said. "Wo!" He answered. "You think you're in love with me?" "Um -- I -- well, I mean -- I didn't exactly -- I mean - " I stammered. "All I mean is that I love you. I can't tell you I'm in love with you -- yet -- but I know that - " I wanted to tell him that I wanted him to be my first, but I couldn't. "I know I love you. Okay?" He looked like he wanted to say something important, then changed his mind. "Okay. So -- we still date other guys?" "Umm (gulp) -- yeah -- I guess." I was getting a sinking feeling. I guess he saw it on my face. "It's okay, Jamey, really! You're not even 20 yet. Don't worry about it." I relaxed into his body -- more like melted into it. I thought about my dream of Steve -- and his finger. Buddy didn't do it tonight. I found I was craving it. I could almost feel it as I thought about it. "Wow! After all that, you're getting hard again, boy!" He laughed. Before I could stop it, my eyes started to water and tears were pouring down in no time. I was very confused. He kissed my face, and my tears. "Believe it or not, I can remember how I hated turning twenty. I could blame my teens on a lot of my crap. It was like I was about to lose something. And I wasn't ready." He said. I pulled him on top of me. I was about to tell him to take me tonight." It's okay, baby boy. It's okay. I won't press you -- yet. Maybe after you're twenty -- but no pressure!" He laughed. My feeling subsided, and we fell asleep. I dreamed about flying. I felt free. I looked down and Buddy was waving to me, grinning. John was on the ground too, but he wasn't looking at me. Steve was looking at me, and there was concern on his face. My dad and Habby were there too, applauding. I looked from one face to another. I was pretty high, but I could see Steve's eyes. He seemed to be trying to tell me something with them. I got suddenly cold. I woke up. Buddy had moved away, and I felt a chill. I turned over and pulled the cover closer. "Sorry." he said sleepily. And he came back. I went back to sleep, but can't remember any more dreaming. Before I went to sleep, I imagined that I would ask him next weekend to -- zzzzzz. "Hi." I heard coming from afar. I cracked open one eye. "Wow! You sleep pretty soundly." He said. I opened the other eye. It was light outside. I never sleep in! "I really don't sleep in -- usually. I must have felt very at ease in your bed." "Either that, or you were very tired. I know I was pretty spent." I remembered something about next weekend. I couldn't remember quite what it was. "Did I say anything to you last night about next weekend?" I asked. "No. Did you have something -- in mind?" "No- not really. Must have been a dream. I did have a weird dream." "Oh? What was it?" "Can't quite remember. Something about flying, and -- I -- dunno." "Your cell phone was ringing, and you were so out, I answered it." "Who was it?" I said, alarmed. "It was your dad. He seemed amused that I was answering your phone. He asked if we were coming for breakfast. I laughed, and he immediately got it, and laughed too. I asked him what time we should be there. He said if we could be there by ten, he'd be ready for us." "TEN!!??" I said. What time is it?" "Nine thirty." "Die-am! I NEVER sleep that long! Well, guess we better get going." Just at that moment, his joke to my dad caught up with me. I laughed. "Should we take time for an hors d'oeuvre?" "A nice hot shower would be good." He said. I knew what he meant by hot. We made it quick, and went to my house for breakfast. During breakfast, my cell phone rang. I looked at the display. It was Steve. I ran out of the room to answer it. "Hello?" "Jamey! Glad I caught you! I have an sudden chance to go to Bermuda -- a continuing education opportunity - next weekend. I can take a friend -- or rather -- I want to. I could only think of one friend I want with me. Can you go with me? It's only for the weekend." I was speechless. Notes: What an opportunity for our boy! Bermuda! I know what I would answer. I even think I know what Subby would answer. Comments are welcome. To: Steve at stevethomas535@hotmail.com. Thanks and love, Steve