If you don't agree with guys being in love with guys, then you need to find someplace else to spend time.

Okay, these characters are not meant to resemble any living or dead persons.

I make no apology to anyone who is offended by anything in this story.

Let me know what you think of the story by emailing me at


Copyright 2008 -2015, by Chuck B. ( CB Abraham )

Jason and Shaun

Lesson 21

The Death of Ms White

** This chapter takes place two weeks after the wedding of Jason and Shaun.

After Ms White's trip, she suffered another stroke, but the doctors said it was a smaller one than the first one. Katrina could see her aunt suffering a bit during their trip even before the stroke. Ms White was not going to complain or allow her discomfort to stop her from enjoying her trip. No one not even her doctors expected her to pass away from this stroke. Recovery was expected to be slow, but she was supposed to return home. There was enough money to provide for home health care or even a nursing home, but Isabella, Ms White, made it known that a nursing home was not an option. Around noon, the hospital calls for her niece to come up and say good-bye. Katrina knew in case of any illness or death that she was to call Jason and Shaun. The guys love her aunt and she loved them, and even after their move, the guys checked in with her on a daily basis either in person or over the phone. Ms White was weak but she manages to speak too Katrina on her deathbed.

"I will Auntie. I'll tell them."

Ms White smiles as to acknowledge her niece before gasping for air as she closes her eyes. At 2 o'clock pm, her time on this earth ended, and the world lost a wonderful woman. She met Shaun three years prior to Jason moving in with Shaun, and he learned to love her. When Jason moved in with Shaun, she too learned to love him and in the end, she saw them as her boys, her sons. In Jason, she saw a potential boyfriend for Shaun, even if he did not see it.


Katrina arrives at her aunt's apartment to begin the process of winding up loose ends and to call her closet friends. Grabbing her phone, she combs through her aunt's planner and she thumbs through it until she reaches Jason and Shaun's number. The phone rings five times before, it goes into voice mail and she hurriedly leaves a message for the guys.


Jason ends up coming home early because of cancelled presentation, and He heads straight for the phone to check voice mail. There are three, but one of them is marked urgent, and that urgent message is from Katrina White.

"This is Katrina White, whoever gets this message first needs to call me at my aunt's house."

She sounds upset and that could mean that something might be wrong and then suddenly, his stomach drops and in his heart, he knows the call is about Ms White. Without taking the time to save it, he ends his call into voice mail. Grabbing his cell phone, he hunts for the number and then quickly places the call. Katrina sees Jason and Shaun's number come up on her aunt's caller id, so she answers quickly and as she does, her heart picks up speeds.

"Hey Jason."

"Katrina, it's time for you to tell me that you were just arguing with your boyfriend, and that is why you're upset."

She is a bit taken back by the "boyfriend" comment, but she still needs to give him the message.

"No, it's Aunt Isabella. She...she died today."

Katrina is still having a very hard time getting the words out of her mouth.

"She had another stroke, but the doctors thought she should have been leaving the hospital in the next couple days."

"Wow! I'm...sorry Katrina. I know how much she means to you."

Katrina knows enough about Jason to know that he is open, honest, and sincere.

"I'm at the apartment, and could use some company, so bring Shaun over when he gets home okay?"

It dons on Jason that he has to tell Shaun the bad news, and it makes him a little nervous.

"Yeah, we'll...be there."

`How do I tell Shaun that our adopted grandma is dead?"

"Jason, you okay?"

Katrina knew this phone call would be a hard one to have, but it had to happen. Jason will be fine and in time, Shaun will be okay too.

"Jason, I need to let you go but I'll be there at the apartment for five hours at least, so I hope to see you here when Shaun gets home."


"Bye Then."

With the call over, Jason retires to the bedroom.


Shaun comes home around twelve-thirty, and there is a lack of any signs of lunch. Jason eats three meals a day, so no signs of lunch mean that Jason is either sick, not home, or he had a quick lunch. Since he had an early lunch, Shaun is not hungry but he would love to see his husband. Hearing a noise in the office, Shaun goes to the office, but instead of Jason, he finds Sasha who is eagerly chasing after a toy. If Sasha is out of the bathroom, it must mean that Jason is in fact at home. Leaving the office, he makes his way towards the bedroom, where he finds Jason laying on the bed facing the ceiling.

"I thought being lost in thought was a thing that I did."

Jason did not say a thing nor did he respond in any way.

"What's going on with you?"

Jason stands up, walks over to his partner, and embraces his husband and a few sobs come from him. Shaun gently looks into his lover's eyes.

"Please tell me what's wrong?"

"Ms White...she died. She –she had another stroke but was too weak...to recover."

Jason can see the pain in his husband's eyes. He knew that the news will cause his hubby grief. There is no dodging the pain on this one, Jason has to tell him. Shaun pulls into Jason a little bit more, but now Shaun is sobbing and all Jason can do is be there. Shaun has to let it out before Jason can give him the rest of Katrina's message. After five minutes of cuddling and tears, Shaun looks at his husband with sad, puffy eyes.

"How...how did you hear about her?"

He sounds angry about Jason hearing about it before him, but it is not anger, he is simply asking.

"Katrina called; she is at her aunt's house sorting through Ms White's belongings. She would like our company."

Jason isn't sure if Shaun is feeling up to the visit, but he hopes that Shaun will decide to head over to the apartment.

"Call her and tell her that we're on our way."

Jason whips out his cell phone and calls Katrina to give her the update on what Shaun said.

"Hey Jason, what's up are you guys coming over to my aunt's apartment?"

"Yes, Shaun is walking me out the door, so I'll let you go."

"Okay Bye."

Jason and Shaun leave the house and head straight for Jason's car, and with a click of the remote, the vehicle is unlocked. The guys get into the car, the key is twisted in the ignition, and away they go on their way to the apartment.

`It's going to be weird to be in Ms White's home.'

Each of the guys have similar thoughts as they drive towards the apartment. Shaun is just hoping that he won't get emotional while at the apartment.


Katrina is already at work sifting through her aunt's belongings. As they arrive, the guys take a minute to prepare themselves; they take deep breaths and exhale before anyone unlocks or opens any door. Shaun is out of the car first and up to the doors, as he pushes the button to be buzzed in Jason finally makes it to the door.

"Shaun, Jason, is that you?"

"Yeah, it's us."

She is happy to have some company to be honest the cat just isn't her aunt. Katrina is just happy to finally have people to talk with while she works. She walks away from the intercom and heads back to what she was doing.

"I don't know if I can do this, Jason."

Jason looks at his husband and kisses him to reassure him that he can do this little thing for Ms White and Katrina. Shaun and Jason quietly walk into the apartment. The door was already unlocked, so they were able to walk into their friend's apartment.

"Katrina, we're here. Where are you?"

"I'm in the bedroom."

Shaun and Jason feel weird being in the apartment without Ms White. The apartment feels so empty without their friend living in it. When they get to the bedroom, they find the bed covered in clothes in fact there are three piles of clothes on the bed. Sorting through the clothes has been a three-hour job so far and that sounds like a lot, but some of that time was spent washing clothes too.

"Right now, I'm just sorting clothes into two piles more or less, the clothes I'm donating into one pile and the clothes that I'm pitching into another pile."

"What can we do?"

She points to the pile of clothes on the left side of the bed, and looks at the box of garbage bags.

"Those clothes need to be put into bags so I can donate them."

Jason and Shaun made short work of the clothes of course the work goes faster when you enjoy the company. With the clothes done, the trio turns their attention to the kitchen. Drawers and cupboards are all open and are carefully gone through. Some items such as her fancy china and the silver set went to Katrina, Jason also pulled a few items for their own kitchen, and the rest are going to good will. With Shaun by her side, Katrina begins going through the refrigerator. Leftovers or anything close to expiring is simply thrown away. Jason is tackling the cupboards where she kept her canned goods, dry pasta, and other food items. Everything is removed, sorted and boxed depending on where it's going. They finish up in the kitchen and then move to the living room. Katrina grabs a manila folder from off the coffee table and opens it up. She pulls out a piece of lined paper, which was written on by her aunt prior to her death.

"None of this is really legal, but at the same time, no one I going to fight you for what she wants to give you."

Shaun and Jason look at each other in total disbelief. Katrina stands up and walks over to where Ms White's cat kennel is located and carries out over to the guys. Shaun's eyes grew wide, because he can't believe that someone in the family wouldn't want Nyx.

"I know it's not much but she thought you guys would enjoy having Nyx. She apologizes for spoiling her, but my aunt knew, that Nyx would be loved in your home. Are you guys okay with taking the cat?"

Shaun leans in close to Jason's ear and whispers.

"We can't say no."

"Yes, we can but you won't let us say no."

Jason doesn't want a second cat mainly because he doesn't know how Sasha will react. He doesn't want their cat to suffer in any way, and he smiles because he knows Shaun's words and actions come from his heart.

"She has her litter pan, the litter, and the food is in the master bedroom in the closet. The toys are in the purple plastic storage container."

Jason gathers everything up and places it by the front door.

"I think, we made good progress today thanks for coming over and helping me."

Shaun and Jason owe Ms White so much that they feel like they're helping her by taking the cat.

"You're welcome."

"I'm going to give you back your pictures to you, but I'd like to keep one of them if you don't mind."

"No, you deserve to have one."

Shaun agrees with Jason, so they hand her a picture taken of Isabella and the guys shortly after they moved out of the apartment building.

"Are you guys free for dinner tonight?"

Jason asks knowing how stressed she must be with the apartment and grief.

"I think I can manage dinner. What time and where?"

Jason thought about it for a second, and then answered without giving his husband a chance to reply.

"We'll pick you up here around 6:00 pm and head over to this great pizza place that Shaun and I discovered."

Shaun is glad that Jason suggested the dinner. They both know that she deserves a night away; it can't be easy dealing with the apartment and the sorrow. It's hard knowing that Ms White's gone, and knowing that her niece

`Katrina looks worn out.'

Like Jason, Shaun knows she has other responsibilities as well.

"Thanks again guys."

As they gather up the cat stuff, Shaun gets a little teary eyed as he walks away from a home that meant so much.


After organizing the car, the couple head back home. Jason plans on dropping off the cat and then heading out for some fresh air and exercise. Shaun is worried about the cats getting along. When they arrive at home, the guys unload the car and stick Nyx in their bedroom along with the kitty litter.

"Come on Babe, we need some fresh air."

Shaun wants to lay down in their bed and forget the outside world even exists.

"I think we've earned a little time out of the house."

Jason desperately wants to get away before the phone rings again. Shaun gets up but he has no idea where Jason wants to travel too.

"Shaun go on out to the car, I'll be there in a minute."

"Okay." Shaun reluctantly heads out the door. Jason grabs the bread off the counter that is set aside for feeding the ducks. Shaun will deny it if you ask him but he enjoys feeding the ducks. The goal of this little outing is to simply relax. Jason joins his husband outside and with a click of the remote, Jason unlocks the car. They get into the car, Jason starts it up, and they head out to remove the stress in their lives. He drives into the next city and heads towards one of Hobart's many parks. This park features a river walk, a playground, and a mix of geese and ducks. They come here at least once a month as a little date, and it's one of their few traditions.

"Babe, do we really have to do this today?"

"We don't have to but since we're here we might as well get out."

Shaun sighs as he gets out of the car, because he doesn't want to be here, and his attitude is bothering Jason.

"Look, we're not having a great day, so I thought some time away from the house wouldn't hurt us."

Jason smiles as Shaun takes his hand, and Shaun is happy to take his husband's hands. Together, the guys head down towards the water, the ducks, and the geese.

"How are you holding up?"

Jason wants to know how his lover is holding up against the grief.

"I feel like Ms White saved my life so many times and now she is gone, and I feel like I've lost my safety net."

"Shaun, I miss her too, but I like to think that she knows that you have a new safety net, me."

Shaun knows that Jason is right, but this knowledge isn't helping him, he still misses her. As Jason opens the bag, the ducks and geese are gathering around the couple.

"Hurry up Jason, these guys are hungry."

Jason hands his husband a couple pieces of bread for him to tear up and toss to the birds.

"I think, we should do bird seed next time maybe."

They start throwing out pieces of bread and soon they have their own personal fan club. The important thing is that for a little while Shaun is relaxing. They find themselves laughing at each other, the birds, and occasionally other people. Sadly, the bread is gone which means this outing is over, so the guys head back to their car.

"I love you Baby."

Shaun doesn't care who hear him telling his husband how he feels about him, and he then places a tender kiss on Jason's cheeks.

"Can we do the river walk?"

Shaun sounds like an over excited kid, and there is no way that Jason can refuse his husband.

"Ummm...I guess we can."

"Cool." Shaun wants to extend the time that he's alone with Jason, and the river walk will give him that opportunity. Jason unlocks the car, opens it long enough to drop the bread, then shuts the door, and locks it up. Shaun and Jason start their walk along the river holding each other hands and enjoying the fresh air. A breeze brushes against their hands, and a familiar scent lingers in the air. Instantly, they look at each other, smile, and then continue their walk. When they can go no further, they turn around and head back to their car and still they're enjoying their brief time alone with each other. Once home, Shaun brings Sasha to the kennel in their room and then waits to see what she would do.


Jason is glad that between feeding the ducks, the river walk, and now the cats Shaun has plenty to act as a distraction. Sasha is taking in the smells of the new cat. If Sasha gets to close, Nyx hisses and Sasha immediately backs off.

"You two need to behave. We can't keep Nyx in the kennel all the time."

Shaun moves his hands towards the carrier's latch so he can release Nyx.

"I'm going to open this carrier and I want you to be nice Sasha."

Shaun opens the carrier and Nyx runs out of the carrier and right out of the room. Her freedom is short lived though as she ends up being captured by Jason. By the time, he sits down in the bedroom, Nyx is already purring.

"Look who I found."

Jason looks at Shaun is busy playing with Sasha.

"She looks happy, is she purring?"

"Yeah, she is purring up a storm."

Shaun moves closer to Nyx and as he does, Sasha also moves closer to the other cat. Jason watches carefully as Sasha moves closer. Sasha pauses and looks at Nyx and Jason before creeping closer. She rubs her head against Jason's legs and then jumps onto the bed. Jason decides to release Nyx at which time, Sasha begins to groom the older cat.

"Looks like happy cats huh?"

Shaun smiles and nods his head he watches the cats groom each other and just plain enjoying themselves. The guys climb into bed after taking off their shoes and rest their minds and bodies.


The alarm is already set to wake up the guys at 5:30. It gives them a half hour to get ready for dinner. After fifteen minutes in the shower, the guys get out and get dressed. Shaun grabs his keys and the guys take off towards the apartment building. When they arrive its 6 o'clock on the dot, Jason gets out to escort Katrina to the car. He pushes the buzzer by Ms White's name and then waits for an answer.


Katrina says wanting to make sure who was buzzing the apartment.

"It's Jason, are you ready for dinner?"

"I'll be right down."

True to her word, Katrina comes right out and greets Jason with a hug. They walk to the car and Jason opens the passenger side back door.

"Go on get in, so we can go eat."

"Thanks Jason."

`It's too bad Jason is gay.'

She could easily see herself dating Jason or Shaun if they were straight and not attached. Her aunt respected the two of them and she is learning to respect them as well.

"Thanks guys, you have no idea how nice it is to get out of the apartment"

"No problem, dinner is on us, so relax and enjoy."

She feels like she's hit the jackpot because not only are they handsome but they're sweet and courteous.

`No wonder my aunt liked them so much.'

"I hope, I'm dressed okay for wherever we're going."

Jason looks back to check out her outfit so he answers her truthfully.

"Looks okay to me now relax."

They arrive at a locally owned pizza place. The guys discovered this place and ever since then it has been their pizzeria of choice. They walk in, get seated, and then they order their meal, their drinks, and then get down to business. They are all about relaxing and having a great conversation. Their food arrives and the focus turns immediately to eating. As they wind down their meal, Katrina remembers she needs to tell the guys something.

"Shaun, my aunt already has her funeral service planned out, and she wants you to speak at it. She also wants you and Jason to serve as pall-bearers."

Shaun is already having a hard time with his friend's death, and now he's being asked to speak in front of her family and friends. He can't say no to her because it's coming from Ms White and she never refused Jason and him when they needed to talk.

"How long do I have to talk?"

"You only have to talk five to ten minutes, and just talk about what she meant to you or maybe how you came to be friends."

Shaun looks at Jason and smiles as he tries to hide his fear from Katrina and his husband.

`Why couldn't Jason give the talk, he gives talks for a living.'

He could always ask Jason to give the talk for him, but that would not be responsible. With the request out of the way and the pizzas gone, the trio decides to pay their bill and head back home for the evening. Shaun is suddenly feeling drained and ends up falling asleep in the car.


Katrina is dropped off and the guy head directly home.

"Hey Babe wake up, we're home."

Shaun opens his eyes and smiles at his husband, and it makes Jason's heart skip a beat.

"I wasn't sleeping the entire way home."

Jason knows that Shaun woke up some time after dropping Katrina off after that, his eyes closed again. He doesn't want to argue with Shaun or even joke with him, so he keeps his lips sealed. When Shaun enters the house, he looks at the pictures on the end table near the couch. There is a single picture of her that he grabs and takes it with him into the office. For the next three hours, Shaun writes his speech for the funeral and after several restarts, Shaun emerges from the room. Walking into the bedroom, he lays down with tear-stained eyes in ten minutes, he is fast asleep.


It is the day of the wake and the funeral, and the guys are getting dressed in their suits. Shaun is feeling a little lost today because in four hours, Ms White's body will be laid to rest, and even with Shaun's upbringing this lose is a tough one.

`Jason, Babe, will you give my speech for me. I don't know if I can do this one.'

He quickly realizes that he needs to carry out his friend's request. Jason sits down next to his partner and puts his arm up across Shaun's back.

"You okay?"

"I'll be okay as long as I don't go by the coffin."

Jason leans in and kisses Shaun on the lips to remind him that there is someone who loves him.

"Jason, I handle death pretty well, but I feel like I've lost a friend and a grandma all rolled up into one."

It hurts Jason to see his husband going through this lose, but at least Shaun is not going through this alone. They support each other then, now and forever.

"It may not be easy but we'll get through it. I like to think that we can survive anything that is thrown our way."

Shaun looks at his husband and gives him a serious look, because he's afraid of what may come from it.

"Don't talk like that or we'll have challenges and stumbling blocks thrown at us."

Shaun loves Jason and Jason loves him and together rather they know it or not will in the end turn out okay.


They make the drive out to the funeral home for the wake and as they pull into the parking lot and make their way inside, they make their way to the room where her funeral is taking place. Shaun takes a deep breath and moves towards the pictures. One picture of her as a young woman really grabs Shaun's attention.

"She's beautiful; I wonder why someone didn't marry her?"

An elderly man spoke up in reply to Shaun's question.

"She has a chance to get married but it was important for her to be true to herself."

"Oh!" Jason responds in shock and Shaun doesn't say a thing he just sits there and absorbs what the man just said.

"She liked me, and we became great friends, but she was in love with the most wonderful lady and when she died Isabella withdrew. One day out the blue, she calls the police because of a fight in her building and she truly blossomed. She told me one day that she finally had a son. Never did figure any of that out."

Shaun steps away and sits in the back row of the room, but his soft sobs draw Jason's attention and he moves to Shaun's side.

"Do you want to stay?"

"Yes." Shaun didn't say much. A few more tears come down his face and then he composes himself and kisses him. There isn't a single person in the room who would blame Shaun for not going up by the coffin. Shaun approaches the coffin, Jason watches from a short distance away in case husband needs him. He deserves to have a few minutes alone with her and his thoughts. He looks down at Ms White's still form and he marvels at how peaceful she looks and how her makeup is overdone. Out of nowhere, all the memories he has of her come rushing forward and the effect on Shaun is instant tears. These tears come with loud sobs and cause his body to shake. Jason walks quickly to his side, rests his hand on his back, and whispers.

"I'm here."

"Okay Shaun, I think we need to head home."

Jason holds Shaun as they walk out of the funeral home, and it's what Shaun needs at the moment. Getting away from the coffin has helped Shaun to relax him, but the tears are still coming. Jason kisses his lover and whispers into Shaun's ear.

"I love you. Do you want to go home or drive around? We have an hour before the funeral."

"I-I...need...my talk."

Jason and Shaun make their way out to the car. Jason clicks the remote, which unlocks the doors, and his husband cannot wait to into the car. He opens the passenger front side door first and then comes around and gets into the car. As they near the house, Shaun's tears dry up and his mood improves but he is still on the edge. Jason pulls into the driveway to find Sarah and Mark on their porch. Shaun gets out and his friends notice the red, puffy eyes, while he notices their smiles. Jason gets out and together they walk towards the house.

"Everything okay?"

Sarah wants to makes sure that they aren't in need of anything.

"We're fine despite the way Shaun looks. Shaun and I just came from the wake of a friend. It's been an emotional day and in an hour we have her funeral."

"Is this the elderly lady from your wedding?"

Mark asked trying to be tactful, so he doesn't stick his foot in his mouth, and hopefully avoid making himself look like a fool.

"Yes, she had another stroke and she never bounced back from it."

Shaun gets the words out of his mouth but you can hear the emotion in his voice.

"Guys, we are so sorry."

Shaun unlocks the door and enters the house, and then he makes his way to the office to grab his speech.

"Thanks guys."

Jason says as he gets to the door, but he pauses for a second before going into the house.

"Jason, why don't you come over for dinner? I won't make anything heavy, so will you come?"

Sarah does not want her friends to have to worry about coming up with something to make for dinner.

"We'll be there."

Jason says as he turns back towards the entryway of his house, and then heads towards Shaun. They sit in the living room for a little while before they head out once more towards the funeral once more.


After resting, the guys head out towards the funeral home. When they enter the funeral home, Jason and Shaun make their way to their seats after getting their programs. Shaun is focused on those speaking and doing his best not to focus on the casket, but finally, it is his turn to speak. Walking up to the podium, he takes out his talk and then looks out over the crowd. He takes in everyone's faces as he removes the talk from his shirt pocket. He then looks down at his speech before starting to talk to the people in front of him.

"Most of you don't know me, but I am Shaun Allen. How I met Isabella White is not important, but what is important is the effect this one woman had on my life. She saved my life; she did this by stopping an attack on my life. After this, we became best friends, and she became my adopted grandma when no one else in my family wanted me. When my best friend and now my husband came into my life, she was there to guides us in that journey. Over time, she became our best friend. She was always ready to dispense wisdom or a tongue lashing when needed. Isabelle was there when we barely knew other, she saw us through our darkest days. She...loved us...as any...grandma could love their grandsons. In short, Isabella White was a loving and caring person, who was afraid to get involved in the lives of her adopted grandsons. Grandma, you will always be remembered. We love you."

Numerous people in the crowd have moist eyes including Jason. Shaun sits back down with his husband, and his nerves begin to return to normal.

"I loved it."

"Thanks, I'm just glad it is gone. I think it was a little short."

Shaun and Jason sit back and listen to the rest of the speakers. When the program is over, and it's time to view the coffin, Shaun turns to Jason.

"Jason, I...can't go up there and look at her again."

It's easy to understand why he doesn't want to walk past the coffin.

"Why do we have to carry the coffin?"

Jason looks at him as if he is stupid or blind, and Shaun does not react kindly to it.

"Don't give me that look; I know why we are doing this."

Jason hears what his husband says and then puts his attention back on the services. Shaun closes his eyes and listens to what the speakers are saying. Tears move down his face as the speaker further talks more about Ms White's life. Finally, the end of services and time for the pallbearers to line up alongside the coffin, Jason and Shaun take their places. It takes the group of men only one try to get the coffin moving. Shaun shifts his focus from the death his friend to carrying the coffin and staying in step with everyone else. There is a certain amount of relief that comes from having the coffin placed in the hearse, and now Jason and him are heading to the car. The minute, Shaun gets into their car, he breaks out in tears and even Jason has a few tears.


The weather so far is perfect for being outside and the guys are thankful. Ms White wanted the graveside service to be as quick as possible. If only her boys would stop crying, she would be happy and of course to see Shaun no longer need her. Shaun doesn't want to attend the dinner afterwards. At this point, Jason doesn't want to stay either he is worn out both physically and emotionally.

"Shaun, if it's okay with you I want to go home right after graveside services."

"Sounds good to me."

A hawk flies over the gravesite as Shaun looks up into the sky. He isn't sure why he looked up other than he is simply lost in thought, but he's glad that he did look up at the sky. On a day like today, being lost in thought isn't so bad, it keeps him from dwelling on his friend. When all is said and done, it has been a rough day, and the guys just want it to end. They are both emotionally drained.


When they do get home, the guys walk into the house and immediately take off their suits, and they put something a little less formal on in place of the suits. When they're dressed, Jason takes care of the animals and Shaun goes into the bedroom to get his journal. Sitting on the bed, he opens his journal and grabs a pen off the nightstand.

"Dear Whomever,

Today, Jason and I attended the funeral of our dear friend, Isabella White. I was asked to prepare a speech by my friend to give at her funeral few things have been so agonizing on me. I could not look into the coffin because I didn't want to see her laying there. I am really going to miss her because for a brief time, she was my rock, and without her, I might still be lost, and without my love."

Shaun closes the journal and walks out the bedroom and rejoins his husband, he is amazed to see the cats so close to each other. The guys spend fifteen minutes playing with the cats, which helps to relax them. Shaun grabs the laser pointer and gets the cats running from one end of the bedroom to the next. Jason gets up and heads towards the bedroom, and Shaun stops playing with the cats and gets up to join Jason.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to join me in bed?"

"I'll be in the bed in just a second."

Shaun slips off his shoes alongside Jason's shoes and climbs into bed.


4 o'clock in the afternoon comes and the guys wake up from their naps, as the phone rings. Looking at the caller id, Jason sees that it's someone calling from Sarah's house, and he picks up the phone.


"Hey there, are you guys coming over for dinner?"

Jason looks at Shaun and removes the phone from his mouth, so he can ask Shaun a question.

"Do you still want to go over to Sarah and Mark's for dinner?"

"Yes, I do."

He returns the phone to his mouth, so he can give Sarah their reply.

"Yes, we are coming for dinner."

"Well hurry up because the pizza is here."

Jason ends the call and then puts the phone back on the base before they head out. Hungry and wanting the company of friends, the guys leave their bedroom and head straight to Sarah's house. They knock on the door and Eric answers it.

"Get inside, I'm hungry."

Shaun smiles as Jason walks past him to get into the house.

"I don't know why he's in such a hurry."

Shaun said jokingly. Jason simply ignores him and heads towards dining room with his husband and Eric right behind him. True to her word, Sarah has kept dinner simple. It's pizza, salad, and root beer to drink. She ordered six pizzas 2 cheeses, 2 sausages, and 2 surpremes. The conversation over pizza is light and filled with humor. After eating and a short visit after dinner, then everyone says their goodbyes, and the guys return to their home.


With neither guy working or having classes tomorrow, they decide that it is time to sleep. They go through their evening routine minus the usual jerkoff session. When they get into bed, they both feel overly tired, but a few minutes later Shaun closes his eyes but Jason can't sleep no matter how hard he tries. Thoughts are running rampant through his mind and oddly enough, it's the "What ifs" that are circulating around inside his gray matter, but it is usually Shaun kept awake by his thoughts.

"Shaun are you awake?"

Jason sits up rests his body against the headboard.

"I'm awake what's going on babe?"

"I have a ton of thoughts running through my mind."

Shaun knows that Jason has a hard time sleeping when he's upset or stressed.

"So what is keeping you awake?"

"More like who, I was wondering how different our lives would be if she wasn't in them?"

Shaun's eyes grew big at the thought, because he too has had these thoughts since she died.

"Well, I could have been in a lot worse shape if she had not called the police."

Jason stares at Shaun in disbelief.

"I was thinking about what she did for us, when she got us on the road to being boyfriends, Ms. White changed our lives."

Shaun leans in and kisses the love of his life, and then the guys embrace and in ten minutes, they fall fast asleep.


Shaun starts to dream and soon he is standing in the cemetery near Ms White's grave. The sun is shining and there are zero clouds in the sky. He stares at the grave but suddenly, he becomes aware of someone standing behind him. He turns around to see his now deceased and buried friend with a smile on her face.

"What, what are you doing here?"

She reaches out her arms, he does the same, and they embrace briefly but it's enough for Shaun to feel secure.

"I'm here because you need to hear what I have to say. You and Jason no longer need me, but more importantly you don't need me anymore..."

"I...I do need you."

Shaun only thinks that he needs her around because there is so much of his life to go, and he knows that he'll need advice.

"...you need to trust your husband. He loves you and won't point you in the wrong direction."

"I love him so much, and I know that I need to learn to go to him for advice."

Ms. White looks towards her grave, and she then takes his hand and points it towards the grave.

"My spirit no longer is in the grave but you already know this. Now go back and love Jason. Shaun, I will always remember and I will always love you and Jason."

The dream ends and Shaun wakes up immediately. Seeing Jason sleeping away, he lays down after ten minutes and falls back to sleep. In the morning when they wake, Shaun quickly tells Jason about the dream. They embrace the meaning of the dream and then continue on their day.


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