Date: Sun, 1 Aug 2004 07:57:21 -0700 (PDT) From: David S Subject: John and Mateo Chapter 17/college Dear readers, Thanks for being so patient with me. I've had so much going on in my life. Some bad and some good. It's been a hetic July. Thanks for sticking around. I Hope that you enjoy this chapter of the story. Please write and share your feelings. I want to thank my friend Andrea for helping once again with this chapter. Hugz and kisses my friend. Also thanks goes to Ray for the great job as my editor. I couldn't do it with out you my friend. All my love to you. Ok enough of the ramblings. On with the story. Thanks again for reading. XVII Snake sat there looking down at the table. He made no eye contact with anyone in the room. John, once again looked at Mateo. Gathering his strength, he turned his eyes back to Snake. "Did you hear me? I said we need to talk. I have something I need to ask you." Snake's body slumped, as he picked up his head. His red eyes focused on John, "I heard you." he said in a whisper. "Why are you here?" His questioning eyes looked at him. John's heart began to beat faster as he tried to remember why he came. He could feel the drops of sweat run down the sides of his face. His eyes locked onto Snakes green eyes, and he asked the question that had been on his mind for the last few days. John spoke just above a whisper, "Why did you do it? Why did you rape me?" Snake tore his eyes from the intense stare. He looked down at the table. Tears stung his eyes as he tried to form the right words. "I..I don't know. I know that's no excuse but I've asked myself the same question hundreds of times." His hands were shaking. He ran his fingers, nervously, through the short stubble of hair. I heard footsteps, and when I looked, I saw you were leaving the restaurant. I just wanted to talk to you. I never had any intentions of hurting you. You have to believe me John." He looked at John and Mateo, as they sat there together. Mateo's arm was around John's shoulders. Mateo still could not bring himself to look at the sad form of his former friend. Snake continued, "I guess I was jealous." John's face wore a mask of confusion, "What were you jealous of?" Snake continued, "I was jealous of you and Mateo. I wanted what you two have." He hesitated as he continued, "I've had a crush on you. I just wanted to talk to you that night. I had no other intentions." He looked at the shock on John's face. "It must have been the alcohol and the drugs." His eyes pleaded, "John, you have to believe me. I never meant to hurt you." John sat there in disbelief he didn't even realize Snake knew his name. Snake turned his gaze to Mateo, "Dude, you believe me right? I wasn't myself. If I could I'd turn back time, I would." Mateo finally looked at him with uncertainty, "So you're gay too?" Snaked eyes moistened as he answered, "Yes." he said his voice barley audible. "I've tried to deny it. Hooking up with girls and shit. But it never felt right." Turning his gaze back to John, "John, I know what I did was fucked up. If I could I'd trade places with you, I would " His voice cracked as he spoke, "I know what your feeling. I've been there too." John's own eyes were starting to tear up, "What do you mean?" Snake sat there for a few moments before he began, "My dad found me with a buddy from school and we where in the middle of something, when he walked in on us. My buddy got away, but I wasn't so lucky. I spent a week in the hospital. But..." he began to sob, "Now I don't even have him anymore, my dad walked out of my life. I don't have anyone now. I'm totally alone." He sat in his chair as he wept. John's vision became cloudy as his tears flowed. Carl passed around tissues from a box on the table. He pushed the box towards the weeping Snake. Carl began to have compassion on the young man. Once he found his voice again, John spoke, "I need to ask you one more thing. After the attack did you hold me in you arms? I don't know if that was a dream or if it really happened. Snake looked at him and nodded his head, "It's true, I felt awful. I didn't know what to do. I--I tried to comfort you but.. I really fucked up." Carl spoke, "Did you call 911?" Snake looked at him with fearful eyes, "Yes sir, I called." He once again looked at John, "I couldn't just leave you there to die. I had to call for help." At this time John reached out his hand. Just as in his dream he stretched forth his hand. He didn't know why he did it but he took Snakes hand in his. Snake's body immediately stiffened when he felt the touch on his hand. He looked up into the eyes of compassion. John said no words but slightly smiled After a minute, he spoke to Snake, "I don't want you to feel bad. I don't blame you and I can't pass judgement on you for having a crush on me. Don't get me wrong, what you did was fucked up, but I'm not going to hold it against you." He looked at Mateo. Their eyes met, Mateo stared at him. John, uncertain what to say once he saw Mateo's face, continued, "And Mateo doesn't blame you either." Snake sat there - not believing his ears. Unknowingly he released a heavy sigh. "But what about what I did to you? I really hurt you and I...." John interrupted him, "Don't worry. I'll be fine." Still holding onto Snake's hand John gave it an extra squeeze, "I forgive you." Snake's body began to shake as he held onto John's hand. "Thank you." he said trying to keep his voice from cracking. John's face lit up in his best smile. "No problem." Mateo slid his hand over the table and joined John's hand around Snake's. Snake looked into Mateo's face. "What about you? Do you forgive me?" Mateo looked at Snake, "What you did to John is unforgivable. I can't just forgive you like he can." He looked at John, "I'm sorry babe, this might take me a little longer." He turned his eyes back onto Snake and with anger beginning to rise in his voice he spoke, "Do you know what you put us through? I thought that I was going to lose him. I can't forgive you for that. I'm sorry, but it's not that easy." Mateo looked down at his hand, still on John's and Snake's hand, "I'm sorry I can't do this." He took his hand off the pair of hands and stood up. Without another word, he stood up from the table, and quickly, left the room. John called after him, "Mateo where are you going?" He didn't stop or turn around. He reached the door, yanked it open and slammed it behind him. Carl rose from his seat, "I'll go check on him." Carl walked down the hall looking for Mateo. He found him sitting on the floor, his legs drawn up, with his arms around them. His face was buried in his knee caps. Carl squatted down and placed his huge hand on Mateo's shoulder. "Hey buddy, how you doing?" He heard Mateo sniff, "Not too good." Carl began to rub his shoulder. Mateo looked at him, tears running down his face. "How can he just do that? How can he just forgive him after what he did to him?" He looked at Carl wanting answers. Carl knew that any kind of answer wouldn't be good enough for his hurting friend. Mateo continued, "I don't know if I can do that Carl. I mean - I love John so much that it kills me to see him in pain." He wiped his wet eyes. "I just want to take Snake out in the woods somewhere and beat him to a pulp. He needs to be punished for what he did. He doesn't deserved to be forgiven." Carl sat down next to him on the floor. He brought his knees up to his chest and sat in the same position as his young friend. "I've seen this before. Where a victim forgave his attacker. It's rare, but it happens. John has his own reasons. I know you want to kick Snake's ass but please don't take any action against him. I'm talking as a cop and your friend when I say this. Don't do anything that you might regret later. You could ruin your life, lose John and you'd be in worse shape then you are now. Mateo wiped his eyes again, "What happens now. Does he just walk away from this without a scratch? Will the charges be dropped against him? Carl shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not sure what will happen next." He stood up and offered his hand out to Mateo. "What I do know is that John needs you right now." He pulled Mateo to his feet and looked into his eyes. "He seems to be OK now, but we never know. Inside he may be hurting, and you need to be there for him." Mateo straightened out his clothes. "I love John with all my being. But I still don't understand why he's doing this. Snake doesn't deserve forgiveness." Carl put a hand on his shoulder, "Maybe this is his way of getting past this - how he can get closure for his trauma. Mateo looked up into the handsome face of Carl Collins, "Yeah maybe you're right." He tried his best to smile while looking up at Carl. His attempt ended in a failure as his chin began to tremble, "I'm sure you're right" His voice cracked as he spoke. Carl pulled Mateo into his chest and gave him a loving hug. "It's going to be fine Matt, you'll see." He rubbed his back as he spoke, "You both will get through this. It's going to take some time. "Hey." They were interrupted by John's voice. He was standing near them, but didn't approach the two. "Mateo, are you OK?" His voice was a mixture of confusion and concern. John took one step closer and then stopped. He was unsure if Mateo wanted him any closer. Mateo stepped away from Carl's arms, and once again, wiped the tears from his eyes. This time his smile was genuine when he saw his love. "Everything is good babe. Carl and I were just having a little talk." He looked up to Carl and smiled, "Thanks" "No thanks necessary, that's what friends are for." Carl smiled at him and turned towards John, "You have a great guy here John. He's a keeper." John smiled as he spoke, "You don't have to tell me twice." Mateo walked over to his love and tenderly embraced him. He spoke in a low voice. "I was unsure how to handle all this. I need time to work things out in my head. I can't say that I will come to a time, when I can just forgive Snake for what he did, but I will certainly give it a try." John looked up into Mateo's brown eyes, "I know that you love me, and that you will be here when I need you." He tenderly kissed his lips. "You are my world. Mateo." Carl silently slipped away, to leave John and Mateo alone. * * * The morning sunlight flooded through the curtains, as Carl and Ted lay in bed. Ted's arm was draped over his partner's chest. Carl watched as his boyfriend slept. He loved watching him sleep. Today was the first day of their vacation. They had taken the week off together. Their hectic schedules always conflicted, and the only time they could steal together was never enough to satisfy them. Carl moved to his side and spooned Ted, Carl's hand wrapped around his partner's chest and rested there, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. Ted shifted his body and soon their two bodies pressed together making a human puzzle. Carl rested his chin in the nape of Ted's shoulder. He loved the way Ted smelled. Faint wisps of antibacterial soap lifted into Carl's nose. He moved his hand over Ted's smooth chest. He tenderly brushed up against one of his pink nipples. A few second later it became hard. Carl's now hardening cock rested between the crack of Ted's ass cheeks. Memories of last night quickly caused it to become rock hard as Carl remembered last night's session of love. It had been a difficult day, dealing with the problems of the young college couple. Carl tried to do all he could for John and Mateo. The meeting with Snake had caused some ripples in their relationship. Carl tried to put himself in Mateo's position, but he also wondered himself if he could just turn a blind eye to Snake, and the terrible things he did to John. He didn't know whether his talk with Mateo had done any good. He was hoping that he and Ted could befriend them, and be there for them, if they ever needed any brotherly advice or affection. Carl had wished he had had an older man to advise him when he was younger. Being a young gay man sometimes may be a bit much to handle, without someone to talk to. Carl had finally made it home about 5:30 that evening. Ted wasn't off until 7:00, so he decided to cook a nice meal of steaks and baked potatoes. He enjoyed cooking for his boyfriend and took every opportunity to do so. By 7:30, they were seated on the patio, eating a medium rare steak, baked potato, green beans, and a nice crisp salad. The merlot hit the spot and completed the wonderful meal. After dinner they took a lazy dip in the hot tub. They never used swim trunks unless they had company. Seeing Ted's naked body immediately caused Carl's insides to flip-flops. Sensuality seemed to ooze from every pore of Ted's body - from the way he moved - to the way his velvet smooth voice tickled Carl's ear. If Carl had his way, they would spend every hour of every day together. They snuggled in the hot water. Ted's smaller body surrounded by the larger body of his boyfriend. Carl began rubbing his back getting all the kinks out from a hard day's work at the hospital. Ted sat between Carl's legs as his body was worked on by strong hands. Soon he was totally relaxed, and the cares of the day were forgotten. He felt soft lips on his shoulders and Carl's hand reached around to play with his chest. He also felt the movement of Carl's cock as it began to harden. He shifted his lower body and pressed against Carl's dick. He knew he had done something good when he heard the low moan from his partner. Carl worked his hands down Ted's body, feeling the smooth skin under his hands. He reached his goal as his hand wrapped around the 6 inch penis. Ted released a groan as he felt his lover's hand on his hard member. They both stood up. Carl sat on the edge of the hot tub looking lovingly at Ted. Ted sat on Carl's lap, and wrapped his legs around his back. They began kissing while pressing their bodies together. Ted sat on his lovers cock. He loved the feeling of his massive meat inbetween the mounds of his ass. He could feel the pre-cum coating his ass as he moved over the huge cock. Carl's hands cupped Ted's ass as he kissed his lover's lips. He played with his tight hole in preparation, for his cock. He loved the feeling of Ted's tight hole. Just thinking about sinking his cock into his ass was beginning to make him so close to coming. After a few more minutes Ted raised his body up and reached around to take Carl's cock in his hand. He positioned the head of his hard member at his hole and slowly lowered himself down on the huge dick. Looks of pain and discomfort flashed on his face before he finally settled down on the that massive meat. They both waited as his ass opened to adjust to the fantastic sensation. They kissed as Ted sat on his cock. The tight feeling around Carl's cock was driving him crazy. Finally Ted began to move his body up and down on Carl's hard dick. The feeling was wonderful as he felt the hard cock go deeper and deeper with every thrust. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the ride on his boyfriends massive member. He felt Carl's hands on his hips guiding him up and down. He heard the grunts from his boyfriend, mixed with his own groans of pleasure. Carl stood up, still inside Ted. Ted still had his legs wrapped around his waist as Carl stood up turned around and placed him on his back. The motion intensified as Carl thrusted harder and faster in the tight ass of his lover. Ted couldn't help the loud groans he released as Carl made love to him. Drops of sweat fell from Carl's body as he continued the pounding of Ted's sweet ass. With each thrust Ted could feel Carl's cock hit his prostate. Finally the intense feeling was too much and Ted began to squirt his big load of cum. He never touched his cock as squirt after squirt of cum shot from his dick. Ted could feel the massive cock expand in his ass as Carl released a loud groan and then his huge load of hot sperm into his ass. They didn't move for five minutes as they both came back to earth. Ted must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he knew, he was in bed with Carl's warm body next to him. Hearing the soft snoring of his lover, he closed his eyes, and was soon asleep himself. Now as the morning breeze caressed their naked bodies, Carl and Ted, once again, began another long session of love. As they finished, they both thought that their session of love was a perfect start to their week together. As they snuggled together Carl turned to his love, "I have a question for you." * * * That morning, in another part of the city, Mamma Anna busied herself in the restaurant kitchen. She was always the first one to come in and sometimes the last to leave at night. Of course that was when she was much younger. Now a days her body seemed to shut down after the dinner rush. She surprised herself sometimes. For beginning a sixty nine year old woman she was very active for her age. She began her life in the kitchen when she was just a young girl. She would spend hours in the hot kitchen kneading bread with her sisters and her mother. In the, then small, town of Assisi, her mother owned a bakery. People would come everyday to sample the fresh bread. Her mother always stopped to greet the people as they shopped for bread. She would tell her children that people are the most important thing in your life. With many friends to love, you will never be lonely. Her philosophy was to make a new friend everyday you were alive, because you never knew just who you might meet. "Non voltare mai le spalle ad un'estraneo, un giorno potreste incontrarvi ancora e quell'estraneo potresti essere tu" ("Never turn away a stranger because one day you may meet again and you may be the stranger.") Her mother's words echoed in Mamma Anna's mind for years and years. She was pulled from her thoughts as she heard the piano music. She was surprised to see John waiting for her when she arrived at the restaurant. Gino usually would meet her in the morning and make sure she was safe and locked in before leaving for school. John had explained that Gino needed to go into town this morning with PT and wouldn't be able to come and meet her. She was happy to see John, and to have a chance to see how he was doing. The two talked over cups of espresso. She laughed at the face John made when he tasted the bitter drink. She offered him cream and sugar to take away the strong taste. He gladly accepted ,and was finally able to tolerate the strong beverage. With a tender touch she always seemed to have, she asked how he was doing. "I'm doing good Mamma. What happened to me made me think. So many people go though what I went through but many are not able to get past it. I think I'm able to do that; because I have an idea why Snake did this to me. I think he needed to be loved. He lost all he has. He lost his mother and now he's lost his father. People want to put everyone into categories, and that just doesn't work. You are a man - so you have to love a woman. You are a woman - so you have to love a man. What if you don't love a woman? What if you love a man? It's not all black and white as they say it is. So, I think that Snake is searching for love and he got confused and thought that sex represented love." John looked at Mamma Anna, over his coffee cup. She looked like she was in deep thought. Her lips were pursed, and she looked like she wanted to say something. He set his cup down on the counter. "Do you want to say something, Mamma?" He asked gently. She looked at him in the eyes. "I'm afraid for Gino. You know I have raised him as my own son. His mamma, she left so many years ago. One day ,she shows up here at the restaurant with Gino in her arms. She says that she doesn't want him anymore. I ask her what she means. She says that she met a man and is leaving, and she can't take Gino. She asked me to take him and raise him. I did. I know he's gay - he told me. I think I was too smothering with him. John's eyebrows shot up as he raised his hand to stop her from talking. "It's nothing that you have done, Mamma, Gino was born this way. You did nothing to make him gay." Her eyes met his, "You sure John? I think I might have made the boy gay. When he was a little boy I would bring him to the restaurant and teach him to cook and bake. Papa said I was like a mother chicken. I never let him out of my sight." She pointed a stubby finger to her eye. I was always watching him. I didn't want any more harm to come to my Gino." John smiled at her, "Mamma, you had nothing to do with the way Gino is. He could have been the world's best jock and still be gay." He slid his hand into Mamma's rough hand. "You did a great job in raising Gino. He's a hard working man. He's very caring of others. You did a great job." He smiled as he squeezed her hand. "You should be very proud of him." Mamma smiled, "Yes he is a good boy." John nodded his head in agreement. He stood up from the little table, "Mamma is it all right if I practice on the piano? This week has been so hectic I haven't had a chance to practice a whole lot." Mamma shot up from the table and led him to the back room. She turned on the lights and left John to his practising. Now, as she worked in the kitchen, she enjoyed the music coming form the other room. She worked hard that morning. Mario finally showed up at about 10 am to help with the opening of the restaurant. The other staff began their day at 10:30 and would soon have the place ready to open. Gino showed up at 10:15 with PT. The two young men helped in the kitchen. PT was like a bull in a china shop and Mamma finally banded him from the kitchen to the lowly rank of busboy. Gino laughed at him and teased him. The day began with the small restaurant opening it's doors at 11 am. People came in to savor the wonderful Italian cuisine. Mamma Anna worked hard. In the back room John played on. Those that heard the music asked about it. Mamma said that is was her boy John. She loved that young man. Many times Mamma would find herself dancing in the kitchen with her other boys, Gino and PT. She taught them the simple steps of the waltz. Take care all. Number 18 will be a while. I'm trying to figure out which direction the story will go. I you have any suggestions let me know..... Thanks Again!!! David