Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2010 18:13:39 -0700 (PDT) From: Sam Shell Subject: Josh Goes To College Chapter 1 (intro) This story is purely fiction. This story will at some point include sexual relations between two college aged males if you don't want to read something like that then leave. If you are under the age of 18 (21 in some areas) or if it is illegal for you to view this material then you should exit out of this. This story is copyrighted and may not be copied for any reason without the authors' permission. Josh Goes to College I stare out the window and look down and I feel a peaceful feeling sweep over me. Somehow when I look at the ground thousands of feet below I don't feel fearful like so many other people who are afraid of flying feel. I know it may sound crazy to those of you who fear flying but for those who share the same thoughts about flying as me you will understand. When I look out the window at the ground below everything seems so small and insignificant and all the sudden all the thoughts in my head disappear. All the worries and anxiety I have are gone, at least for the time on the plane and all I can think of is how small everything is from up here. I guess my problems aren't so bad I mean when you compare my problems to a lot of other people who really do have problems you would want to beat the shit out of me for feeling so doomed. I do after all have a wonderful family – happily married parents who really are the greatest parents I could ever wish to have, 2 brothers and 3 sisters and even a dog it's like THE picture of the perfect family. So why do you ask am I on this airplane? Where am I going and why am I alone? Well I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Josh and I have brown hair and blue eyes. I'm about 5'11" and I have a swimmers body. I am flying half way across the country to go to college where I got a scholarship for the swim team. Now why if I have such a perfect family would I want to leave them? That is a very complicated question and something my family just couldn't understand. You see they wanted me to go to the local university but I wanted to get away. Just escape. I love my family so much they really are everything to me and I know they love me just as much but I felt trapped at home. I need to get out and live and have the chance to truly be myself. I've known I was gay since I was 13. I remember sitting with my friends and they stared talking about girls and it was like this light bulb went off in my head and I realized I didn't feel like they did about girls and in fact I was thinking about boys like they were girls. I knew that I couldn't tell anyone so I played the straight guy role by dating girls throughout high school and I even hoped that I could learn to like it and `turn' straight but of course that never happened. I never did come out to anybody, my friends, my parents, nobody. I have always been terrified that someone would find out about me especially my family and while I think my family would be ok with it I don't know that for sure and the thought of losing my family feels like my heart is ripping apart. I don't know how I'm gonna tell them. So here I am an 18 year old virgin on his way as far from what I know as my life as I can get in the hopes that I can be out as gay and maybe find a boyfriend. I hope it all works out. ******* What do you think? Is it worth continuing? If enough people want to read more then I'll write more and yes the chapters will be a lot longer than this chapter. Let me know what you think. Constructive criticism welcome. Keep in mind that this is my first attempt at a story. Email me at stories_of_sam@yahoo.com. *******