Date: Sun, 17 Sep 2006 17:58:29 -0700 (PDT) From: Tiffani Chin Subject: Jumping Over My Mountain, Chapter 23 Disclaimer: This story is copy right protected. Please do not post it on any other website. If you are not 18 or male on male action offends you, do not continue further. Email me at EliteECrew@verizon.net for feedback. Jumping Over My Mountain, Chapter 23 ***********HIRO********** As expected the time flew by before finals and after finals. Although, we couldn't check our grades right away we all felt confident after we left the exam room, knowing we did fairly well. Crew and I studied the normal amount, but the pressure to do extremely well wasn't there, which ultimately could have helped us to do better. Graduation came and went, since none of us went to the ceremony. The school was just way too big to sit through all the names in the hot weather, no less. To quote Skyler, "I don't have the patience for this shit." However, we did take a lot of photos together in our cap and gowns. Especially Mrs. Chin who must have used up her entire digital camera capacity with all she took. There were pictures of the four of us, of just the twins, the twins and their Mom that Crew took, and pictures of me and Crew, and some pictures of us individually. The graduation party was a huge turnout, just as Skyler said it would be. Everyone had been there: Aunts, Uncles, cousins, grandparents, family friends I recognized from previous Christmas Eve parties, and of course the twin's Dad which I noticed Skyler kept away from for the most part, and the twin's step mom. Helaku and Bryce showed up, as did Callum and Mikhail who were still going strong. Zeke was there of course, but he and Skyler spent most of their time in Sky's room, probably packing after Skyler made his appearance for his relatives. It was a long day with people coming in and out, arriving or leaving, depending on when they came. It was a hectic day. I spent most of my time with Crew and sat by while he ate cheeseburgers and chips and dip. And now, between the all day party in late May, and eating food all day long, Crew was tired. And currently passed out, sleeping on my chest as we lay on a bed in a guest bedroom. He shifted in his sleep, bringing his knee up to my groin and he rubbed his face in my chest a bit before settling down. I smiled and gently ran my hands up and down his back, looking at the clock. It was only 11:15 at night, but it seemed like Crew would be out for the rest of the evening. The party had definitely died down and it was basically just Mrs. Chin, her sister, and Skyler and Zeke. Even Storm had left to go back to Kate. Skyler and Zeke were laughing quietly as they packed for their move. Crew and I wouldn't be able to see them off or help them move in to their new apartment a week later because tomorrow afternoon Crew and I would be on a plane heading to Colorado. That's why we were staying over at the twin's house, so their Mom could give us a ride to Newark International in the morning. We were also going to be leaving Sushi with Mrs. Chin. We certainly couldn't leave him all alone for two weeks. Luckily we were all packed for our trip. If we were one of those last minute packers we would be in serious trouble. Crew was dead to the world at the moment and I didn't want to wake him up. I was actually pretty comfortable with him sleeping in my arms. It was a content feeling on my part. I sighed and closed my eyes. I should get some rest as well. We needed an early start tomorrow morning. ************* "Bye guys, see you in two weeks," Crew said to Skyler and Zeke and he gave each of them a hug. Mrs. Chin was already waiting in the car; all of our bags were already in the trunk "Have a safe trip," Zeke said and I nodded in acknowledgement. "Yeah, have fun meeting the oldies," Skyler chimed in and I laughed. "Take care of Sushi," Crew said as he leaned down and petted his dog gently who stood beside Skyler. "Bye Sushi, see you soon," he whispered, kissing the dog's slender head before standing up and taking my hand. Zeke and Skyler waved to us as we left the house. "Ready kids?" Mrs. Chin said cheerfully and Crew nodded. We went to Dunkin Donuts on the way to the airport and Crew happily munched on two glazed donuts and a coolata, while I sipped on an iced coffee. At passenger drop off, Mrs. Chin got out of the car and gave each of us a hug after we took our luggage out. We each had one suitcase and a book bag, which we could bring with us on the plane. "Ok, give me a call when you land, ok? Just so I know you made it there ok, alright?" Mrs. Chin reminded Crew. "I will," Crew promised. We waved before we walked through the sliding doors and I tugged on Crew's sleeve to follow me. Following the signs, we got to AA and went through security. There wasn't a line so it was a fast process. Then we went into our terminal and waited in those uncomfortable chairs until our seat numbers were called and we could board the plane. I took Crew's hand, squeezing it and then rubbing circles in his palm with my thumb. "Thanks for coming," I said softly. "Anything for you," he replied simply looking at me. I smiled. ************CREW************* "Crew." "Crew." "What?" I mumbled in annoyance. "Crew, we're here," Hiro said chuckling, "wake up." I shook my head and looked around. Other passengers were in the aisle leaving and I sat back in my seat, sighing heavily and closing my eyes against the bright glare of the airplane lights. "I'm tired." "You've been tired a lot lately," Hiro said frowning, looking at me with concern. I smiled, "Nothing is wrong with me Hiro. I always get tired on planes. There's nothing for me to do and something about the steady motion conks me out." He nodded in satisfaction and stood up. Once he was out in the aisle, I followed behind him and took my luggage from the overhead and walked behind Hiro as we walked out of the plane. I smiled at the stewardess politely on my way out. Hiro navigated through the airport with ease and I just followed along behind him. He was on his phone talking to who I assumed were his grandparents. "Yeah we just got here. Are you outside?" There was a pause. "Ok, well when you arrive, we should already be out and waiting," he said and he took my hand and propelled me forward. We exited through passenger pickup and stood waiting. Hiro began to smile and waved at an oncoming jeep. I instantly got that uneasy feeling in my stomach again and I watched as Hiro stepped forward to greet them. "Hiro!" I heard the elderly woman call out as she got out of the car and hugged Hiro tightly, "I've missed you so much. You've changed." "No, I haven't," Hiro said smiling, "You just think so because you haven't seen me-" "In two years," his grandfather interrupted, heading over to Hiro and shaking his hand, which I felt was odd. Not seeing your own grandson for two years and all he got was a handshake. Hiro didn't seem fazed by the handshake, however, and he returned the handshake with a smile. His grandparents looked towards me where I was just standing there awkwardly, not knowing what to do or say. "Is this Crew?" his grandmother asked looking at me, with a neutral expression. I nodded uncomfortably and Hiro walked over making me feel more at ease. He took my hand again and walked me closer to them, "This is Crew and Crew, these are my grandparents." "Hi, nice to meet you," I said politely and the woman smiled. His grandfather stood there looking at me as if trying to judge whether I was worthy or not. He had an aloof attitude and I was afraid to even stick my hand out to him, as if he wouldn't even shake my hand. "Nice to meet you, too, dear," his grandmother said and she patted my arm, indicating I should get inside the car. The grandfather shot me a look that I didn't know how to interpret, but I just nodded at him and followed Hiro into the backseat. If I was nervous before arriving in Colorado, I was even more nervous now. I glanced at Hiro who was studying me as his hand was clasped around mine. He looked concerned or worried for some reason and when I met his eyes he gave me an encouraging smile. He raised my hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly. I turned back to the front and I saw his grandfather looking at us through the rearview mirror disapprovingly. Damn it. More people pretending to be accepting of gay people when they really weren't. This was probably how Zeke felt most of the time with his parents and step parents. ***************** "I don't think your grandparents like me very much," I said later that evening after dinner as we got settled in Hiro's old room. I glanced around his room and saw pictures of him with his grandparents, with his snowboarding team, some friends, at some of the local hangouts. As quiet as Hiro seemed to be and how he appeared to be a loner, he looked fairly popular from all the pictures hanging around. "Why would you think that?" Hiro asked stepping behind me and placing his hands on my hips. I shrugged before answering. They hadn't outright said they disliked me, but I could tell by their body language and tone of voice. Well mostly his grandfather. His grandmother was polite enough and friendly when she made conversation; asking me about school, my major, my classes, what I wanted to do in the future, my family and whatnot. They both became quiet when I talked about my family or lack thereof and I saw the pity in the woman's eye. His grandfather was silent and grunted throughout the dinner and I couldn't tell if that was how he always was. He could have been a man of few words like Hiro was, but Hiro never grunted at me. I didn't know what to make of it, except for taking it as a negative sign. "I don't know, I just got that feeling," I said as I rummaged in my bag for nothing in particular just trying to keep my hands busy. I was relieved to get out of that dinner, that's for sure. Too bad there were gonna be a lot more meals in our two weeks here. ************** "Takashi, please lower your voice. The boys will hear you." Hiro's grandmother's voice stopped me in my tracks as I was about to head into the kitchen to get some water. I didn't like being here, although I never mentioned that to him. I hated tiptoeing around this entire house and having to check to see if anyone was around to grab a drink of water. I was about to turn around and head back to Hiro's bedroom, but Takashi's next words made me freeze. "Natalie, I know I said I would be supportive of Hiro when he came out to us, but it's been hard! Knowing it in the back of my mind is one thing, but seeing him with that boy-" "Crew is a very nice young man, Takashi," Natalie said in a warning tone. "Natalie, I never said he wasn't nice, but, god, Natalie, seeing them together. Hiro has never been so, I don't know, touchy feely with a boy in front of us before," Takashi said and I could hear the shudder in his voice. "When have you ever stuck around to see Hiro with a boy?" Natalie demanded. "When have you?" Takashi shot back at his wife. Natalie sighed, "Ok, I admit it, I wasn't around and I wanted to avoid seeing Hiro with his boyfriends, but I'm trying, ok Takashi? We have to try for our grandson's sake. He's our only grandson. And Crew is really important to him," she explained. Takashi grunted. The man of grunts. Jeesh. "I just can't get over the fact that Hiro is gay, Natalie. The only child of our deceased son, and he's gay. His life is just gonna be so difficult. I don't understand," Takashi said sighing. "Do you love Hiro?" Natalie asked. "Of course I do! How could you ask such a thing?" Takashi demanded. "Then we have to try harder for him!" Natalie emphasized. "Natalie, gay men are so whimsical! Hiro never stuck with who he was dating back in the day and who knows how long he'll stay with this Crew? Or how long Crew will stick with Hiro. What if Crew gets bored with Hiro and finds someone else? What kind of relationship could they possibly have? Gay men, all they care about is sex or having fun." I felt myself being pushed forward and I tripped slightly over my own feet not expecting to move forward. I turned and my face was within centimeters of Hiro and he did not look pleased. I wonder how long he had been standing there listening to what I had been listening to. "Hiro, I was just trying to get some water," I started to explain, but Hiro didn't appear to hear me as he walked forward, taking me along as well. We entered the kitchen and Natalie and Takashi turned towards us, looking shocked to see us. "Hiro," Natalie began looking apologetic. Hiro held my hand tightly in his and I looked at his profile. I could tell he was angry, his face was calm, but his jaw was clenched tightly together because I could see that muscle twitching nonstop. "I heard everything you said," Hiro stated simply. Natalie looked worried as she regarded Hiro, trying to read his expression, which I doubted she could. If he didn't want to give anything away, he wouldn't. "Hiro, we were just talking. We didn't mean any offense," Takashi said staring at Hiro and they looked like they were having a staring contest. I swear Hiro got most of his poker face qualities from his grandfather. "Well you did offend us," Hiro said enunciating the last word, "And you lied when you said you were ok with me being gay. This isn't support. It's a two faced lie." Takashi frowned and narrowed his eyes slightly and Natalie looked regretful. The fact that Hiro said all of this so calmly and not angrily like most people would have, made his words seem more hurtful and definitely had more of an impact. "Hiro," Takashi said. "We're leaving," Hiro said still holding my hand and he opened a drawer fishing for keys, "I'm borrowing the car. We'll be back later," he said with finality and then he tugged me along with him. I shot one last look at his grandparents and they were still standing in the same position when we first walked into the kitchen. Natalie's eyes met mine and she looked sad, but I couldn't do or say anything as Hiro seemed to be on a mission to leave the house. We put on our coats and gloves and trotted off to the car around the side of the house. All the way to the car, he never let go of my hand, even as I trailed behind him awkwardly, stomping in the snow. "Hiro, are you ok?" I asked carefully once I was seated in the car. Hiro looked at me and I saw pain and sadness in his eyes. I was taken aback for a second. "I didn't want it to be this way Crew," he said. "What do you mean?" He sighed, "I always got the feeling and impression my grandparents weren't completely ok with my being gay, in how they never wanted to talk about anything and would run away whenever I brought someone home. Or of they did stick around they would treat him indifferently, but I never confronted them. Normally, I don't shy away from confrontations or discussions, but they raised me and took care of me and I didn't want to get angry at them, because I love them so much, but I'm also so angry at them and I feel guilty for it. Does that make sense?" I nodded stupidly. What he was saying did make sense to me, like he felt guilty for wanting them to be more supportive because they had already given him so much over his lifetime. But what rendered me speechless was this large burst of emotional talk from Hiro. I didn't expect that from him at all. "I just wanted you to meet them and for them to meet you, so they could really see how special you are. So they can see how you're the one for me you know? And then they could really accept me for who I am," he continued, "You're not like the others Crew. We have something. We're in love," he said heatedly and I saw how much this was bothering him. I reached for his glove covered hand and kissed it, "We are in love." Hiro smiled at me and massaged my cheek slowly, "Well, they're a different generation and their opinions will never change. I just have to accept that. What they think doesn't make a difference. My home is no longer here anyway." "I'm still glad I came here Hiro," I said sincerely. He looked at me. "I wanted to see where you grew up and your past and everything about you," I said smiling slightly, "So don't feel bad, ok?" Hiro nodded and leaned over, placing a kiss on my lips softly, "I love you." "I love you, too," I said full blown smiling by now. "Well, do you want to get something to eat? I don't want to be home right now." "Sure." **************** Getting something to eat turned out to be both good and bad. It was good because I got to meet some of Hiro's friends from high school and college. His high school friends told stories of how good of a swimmer and snowboarder Hiro was and how he was the star of their high school teams. Supposedly everyone loved Hiro; guys and girls. Guys admired him because he was such a good athlete; he was smart and nice to everyone. The girls loved him because he was quiet and sensitive and a bit of a mystery to everyone because even when he was surrounded by a huge crowd, he was bit of a loner anyway, usually just listening to his friend's conversations rather than outright participating in them. "Same old Hiro," I commented which got a round of chuckles. His friends seemed ok with Hiro being gay and me being his boyfriend. They asked about how we met and what our first date was like. When they started asking the embarrassing rowdy questions that guys ask; such as what was our sex life like, what positions we each had tried, and such, I blushed rapidly and Hiro just shook his head, "Knock it off guys." Everyone was good natured about the whole topic and it was a fun night. The bad part came when Caleb Robinson walked up to our table. Apparently he was another person Hiro knew from high school. He was also Hiro's boyfriend for most of senior year. "Hey guys," he greeted the group. There was a chorus of hellos and when Caleb looked at Hiro, Hiro smiled in a friendly matter and then his gaze turned to me and his eyes narrowed at the close proximity to which Hiro and I were sitting together. "Hi, I'm Caleb," he said holding out his hand. I shook his hand and his grip was firm, "Crew." He once again looked between Hiro and me before taking a seat across from Hiro. "So what's the occasion of this visit?" Caleb asked. "Graduated. Wanted to see the grandparents," Hiro replied simply. Caleb nodded, "How did you like it out in Jersey? What was the school like?" Hiro shrugged, "Jersey is fine. It's just like any other place, really, but I'm happy there," and he glanced over at me smiling, "As for school, well, school is school. I had to stay an extra year because I lost some credits." Caleb nodded and again his eyes fell on me, studying me, and it made me uncomfortable. He appeared to be assessing me. Plus I kind of got the impression he was hitting on Hiro or flirting just the teensiest bit and I hated every second of it. It wasn't overt or anything but very subtle, but it was my boyfriend duty to detect this sort of stuff. Caleb would laugh and smile at anything Hiro would say. He'd tell Hiro how good he looked and asked if he was still snowboarding and swimming in Jersey. Caleb's blue eyes would be trained on Hiro steadily and there was this look in his eyes. Like almost a curious, yearning look to visit the past. When I mentioned this to Hiro when we got home he just smiled and pulled me into his arms, kissing the top of my head. "I don't think Caleb has any feelings for me. We dated a long time ago, back in high school. And that was barely a relationship. It was just physical." I looked at him frowning, "If it was just physical, why did you stay with him for 8 months?" "I'm not sure," Hiro answered frowning, "We were in high school, we hung in the same circles, he was a nice guy, and it was like we were together, but didn't see a lot of each other." "What do you mean?" "We were a couple, but I was busy with sports and school and he had two jobs, so we only saw each other about once a week for a date and some, um, fooling around. It wasn't real, you know? We didn't have in depth conversations or do a whole lot together. After awhile, I wanted out. I wanted more and he couldn't give that to me." "You don't think Caleb misses you a little bit?" I asked. Hiro shrugged, "Well if he did, he never tried to contact me since high school, so I really don't think so." I nodded still wondering. Hiro kissed my cheek a few times, "Don't worry about him. He's not even in my thoughts. You are. All the time." I smiled and kissed him on the lips. ***************** Hiro and I had been in the chilly tiny town in Colorado for about a week and everywhere we went, we saw Caleb and his shady little group of friends. This was definitely a small town. I didn't care for Caleb's face at all. Sure the guy was good looking, with his clear creamy skin, dark brown hair, and blue eyes, but the way he always made a point to talk or be near Hiro was getting on my nerves. And I didn't want to be a bitchy boyfriend and whine about how jealous I was. I hated acting like a girl so much. So I just smiled and nodded along whenever Caleb was around. A lot of the times when Hiro wasn't looking or when he left for a moment, things would be silent and Caleb and his friends would look at me, not exactly with hostility, but like I was an outsider and someone they automatically disliked. It made me edgy. Tonight was no different. Caleb was at the bar/restaurant that Hiro and I were currently eating at. I didn't notice him immediately, so maybe he arrived after us. Either way, I got the unpleasant surprise of him stopping by. The funny thing was that he didn't come by when Hiro was around; he came by when Hiro stepped out to talk to his grandmother on his cell. My brow lifted in surprise when Caleb sat his ass down where Hiro had previously been sitting. "Hey," I said not knowing what else to day. He simply looked at me without saying anything and he wasn't smiling, so I felt as if I were on display. "So how long are you and Hiro in town for?" he asked casually. "Um, for another week," I answered stiffly. He nodded in acknowledgement and looked towards the entrance where his eyes lit up. I looked at his focal point and saw he was gazing at Hiro. He turned back to me, "Wow, I haven't seen Hiro in ages. Well, I would occasionally see him during college breaks before he moved, but it wasn't like how it was back in high school." I shifted in my seat and saw Hiro was at the bar getting some drinks and talking to the bartender, whom he apparently knew as well. "Did you know we used to date?" Caleb asked me. "Uh yeah," I said glancing at my soda cup. "We were together for awhile," Caleb said reminiscing, "But he broke it off with me because he didn't think I was capable of having a deeper relationship. He was right." I looked at him curiously, wondering where he was going with all of this. "Hiro was right about me at the time. I was young, and I wanted sex all the time whenever we were together. And I didn't want to get too serious because when I went off to college, I wanted to see what was out there. But I know what is out there now," he said pausing, tearing his eyes off of Hiro and staring directly at me. "And nothing out there can compare to Hiro," he finished, "He's amazing. He's good at everything he does and he puts everything he has into all aspects of his life. He's so quiet and he has this mysterious vibe that draws me in and I could just watch him all day long even if he didn't do anything in particular." I felt a little sick to my stomach. I had a feeling where this conversation was leading to. "He's beautiful isn't he?" Caleb went on, "Beautiful, just beautiful. So exotic," he murmured. Caleb turned back to me and smiled condescendingly, "He's amazing in bed, isn't he? A real good lover. Takes care of your all needs, huh?" "Why are you telling me all this?" I finally blurted out, unable to stand Caleb lusting after my boyfriend and telling me the details of their lovemaking. Caleb looked at me, his blue eyes serious, "I miss Hiro." "What are you trying to say?" I demanded, getting annoyed with his roundabout statements. I just wanted a direct answer! "I let go of the best man I would ever meet in my life and I'll be honest with you Crew," he said leaning forward on the table, "I want him back." I sucked in my breath. I wanted a direct answer and I sure as hell got one. Seriously, you have to be careful for what you wish for. "You can't have him," I said and it was the only thing that popped into my head so I went with it. The corners of Caleb's mouth lifted up but he didn't break into a smile. "Says who?" That reply shocked me. "He's with me!" I exclaimed as if he were an idiot for even asking the question. "Well, that can change you know," he said cryptically. I narrowed my eyes, "It won't!" "How do you know for sure?" Caleb asked calmly. "Because we love each other!" He leaned back, his arms spread out across the booth, "You're cute Crew. I can see how Hiro is attracted to you, with those red lips, rosy little cheeks, big blue eyes, your stupid baby face, and let's not forget those dimples," he took a breath and paused, "but I don't think you're right for Hiro." I felt my mouth fall open a little. Caleb turned serious, "I want him back." We stared at each other not saying a word. "Hey Caleb, what are you doing here?" Hiro asked, looking a little puzzled when he finally returned to the table, too late, I might add. "Just saying hi," he said breaking into a friendly smile, his intense expression fading away. Phony bastard. "Well, I have to get going now," Caleb said sliding out of the booth, "Had a long day. I'll see you guys around," he said patting Hiro on the back and shooting me a meaningful look that made me swallow hard. "Are you ok?" Hiro asked when my eyes trailed Caleb as he left the place. "Crew?" he asked again when I didn't respond. "I don't like him," I said, finally facing Hiro. "What?" Hiro asked his eyebrows knitting slightly. "He still has feelings for you," I hissed. "How do you know that?" he asked. I rolled my eyes, "Hiro, he just sat down and told me he misses you and wants you back!" "Wow, that was random," Hiro said. "That's it? That's all you have to say? That it was random?" I pressed. Hiro smiled and rubbed my knuckles with his fingers, "What else am I supposed to say? It's a bit of a shock, I hadn't really thought about him at all. And his admission doesn't change how I feel for you or him for that matter. I love you, you know that." Now I felt like an idiot for sounding like such a baby, but what Caleb said really bothered me and I had to get it out somehow. Well, too bad, Hiro was my boyfriend and he was obligated to listen to me whine and it was also his job to reassure me. It didn't really matter anyways. Hiro and I were leaving in about a week. Then Caleb wouldn't be interfering at all. Or at least I hoped he wouldn't. ***********SKYLER************* "Whew, that's the last of it," Zeke said wiping his brow as we brought in our last box of clothes. I didn't bring a lot of my electronics or sports gear, mainly clothes, but I had a lot more than I thought I did. So we ended up taking a lot of trips. The place was small, only a one bedroom and a small living room and a kitchen and dining room all crammed into one area, but it was still our own place, and it was in Manhattan, the best borough in all of New York City, and I would be with Zeke. Who cares how small the place was? "Want to start unpacking?" Zeke asked looking at all the boxes strewn all over the living room, so much that I couldn't even see the couch or the window and it was hard walking out of the dining area. "No, I'd rather just relax for a bit," I answered looking at him. "Ok," Zeke agreed nodding, "What do you want to do?" I smiled and lunged at him as best as I could with all the boxes in the way and I pulled him into my arms kissing him. I felt his lips curving as his arms came around my neck. We kissed for a bit and I gently massaged his back muscles, making my way up to his neck with my right hand, rubbing his neck with my thumb. I didn't know if it was the new found feeling of independence or the idea of domesticity with Zeke, but I was feeling really frisky. I deepened the kiss, not letting Zeke pull away and leaning my mouth forward until I couldn't breathe anymore and was forced to pull away. "Which box has our condoms and lube?" Zeke mumbled rubbing his nose against mine. "Damn," I cursed looking around, "I have no fucking idea, there are too many boxes. We should have brought a box with just condoms and lube, since we have sex all the time. And then we could have labeled the box `Lube and Condoms' in huge block letters." Zeke snorted. "Well, we don't need that stuff anyway," Zeke said and I leaned back to look at him. "What?" "Well, we've been exclusive for awhile now," Zeke said hugging me, "And I know the both of us have been faithful to one another, so we don't really need condoms, right? And the bath stuff is easier to sort through rather than looking for lube and condoms which we probably most likely chucked somewhere randomly." I nodded, his explanation made sense. "So what things can we use for lube instead?" Zeke tore himself away from me and rummaged through the box my mom labeled as bath/shower supplies. He rummaged through it a bit and finally held up a bottle of shampoo and conditioner. I laughed, "Good job." "Conditioner has more oils or something. Let's go with that," he said dropping the shampoo back in the box and grabbing my hand, yanking me into the bedroom. We fell onto the bed, our mouths making their way to one another and I rolled over him, feeling his body pressed beneath mine. My hands wandered under his shirt and I pulled his shirt off, then I pushed away briefly and stripped off my own shirt and pair of shorts. I slid back over to him and just touched his cheek. Zeke's face was flushed and he was panting, his eyes filled with desire. "Zeke," I began, "I want to try something." He cocked his head at me curiously, "What's that?" he asked. I paused and then looked into his eyes, "I want you to be inside of me this time." I almost laughed when I saw the way Zeke's mouth dropped open and his face was filled with shock. Instead I smiled and pushed his chin up so his mouth was closed. "Close your mouth, you're gonna make me cum too soon, looking that suggestive," I teased. "You want to bottom?" he asked in an awed tone. I shrugged and looked at him, "Zeke, we've been through so much and I love you. I never felt this way about anyone before and I want to experience this. I want you to have all of me and I want to give you all of me, just like you`ve given me all of yourself," I frowned, "Wait, did that just make sense?" I asked, going over my own words, getting momentarily distracted. Zeke began to smile and I could tell he was getting a bit emotional. "Plus, you always seem to enjoy it, so it can't be too bad, right?" I asked trying to lighten the mood a bit. Zeke laughed, "Yeah," he said softly. We looked at each for a bit, as if we didn't know where to go from here. "So, um, how do you want to do this?" he asked me awkwardly and I laughed. "Look at us, acting like this is our first time," I commented. Zeke smiled, "Well, it feels weird and it is your first time, so I feel a bit nervous, I guess." "I know, but you shouldn't be. I trust you and I know you'll make it good," I said and he blushed. With that I pushed up against him and kissed him, rolling him on top of me this time and lightly running my fingers across his sides tickling him slightly. I handed him the conditioner when we broke apart, "Will you do the honors?" Zeke took the bottle from me silently and moved down my body until he was kneeling between my legs. I spread them a little further apart to give him better access and I took a few deep breaths feeling my pulse speed up a bit. Even though I knew I wanted to do this and I needed it, I was nervous myself. And I never got nervous, but this was a different scenario. "Just relax Sky," Zeke instructed his voice gentle and smooth as he squeezed some conditioner onto his hand. I saw his finger coming closer to my hole so I closed my eyes and told myself to relax. I felt his cold fingertip pressing against my entrance and I jumped a little. "Sorry, but it will warm up," Zeke apologized and then I felt his finger break the barrier and I jerked slightly. "It's ok, I'm gonna go slow," Zeke soothed, "Try to push out a little, ok?" I did as he said and his finger slid in more easily and there was some pain and discomfort, but I held onto my pillow for support. I felt more cold conditioner being squeezed into my ass as Zeke slid his finger in and out slowly, keeping a steady motion and then he twisted it around a bit, stretching my skin. I grimaced as I felt a slight pinch of pain. His finger moved deeper inside of me and it was a weird feeling, knowing something was moving inside that part of my body where no one had ever been before, except for maybe the doctor. The pain disappeared as Zeke pressed against my prostate and I moaned loudly. When I opened my eyes I saw Zeke staring down at me, with a peaceful look on his face. "This is what makes it feel so good," he whispered as he pressed and massaged my button a little harder causing me to hiss and groan. "Sky, push out again," Zeke said and when I did, I felt a second finger being added as I was stretched further, and then a third finger was added. Each time he would make sure to hit my prostate as he fanned out his fingers gently to widen my hole. "Sky, do you think you're ready or should I go for a fourth finger?" he asked me with concern. I opened my eyes and had trouble focusing on his face for a second because his tender stroking of my prostate was driving me crazy. I shook my head, "I'm ready." "Are you sure?" I nodded licking my lips. Zeke leaned back and poured more conditioner into his palms and rubbed them together quickly to warm it up. Then he applied it to his cock. "Push out again baby," he said as he pressed his tip to my hole. I took a deep breath and pushed out and felt the head pop in. "Oh shit," I blurted out as a burning sensation hit me. "It's ok, Sky," Zeke said comfortingly, "I'm not going to move forward anymore, just get adjusted, ok?" "Alright," I breathed out feeling the stabbing pain in my ass. Zeke did a good job of stretching me out, but three fingers weren't the same as his hard width. Through the pain, I did feel good, knowing Zeke was in me and it was different, feeling something so hot and throbbing sliding into me. It turned me on. "Keep going," I said. Zeke moved forward slowly, holding my hips, but I could see him shuddering while he bit his lips and I knew he was holding back for my benefit. The pain increased and I felt my ass burning. "Oh god, is it supposed to hurt this much?" I groaned out as I gripped his arms tightly to indicate that I needed him to pause. "The first time," Zeke said kissing me, "But it will get better, I promise you that." I just lay on the bed panting heavily, as I willed the pain to go away. Eventually it did and I was left with a dull throbbing in that region. Zeke rubbed gentle circles on my chest, staring down at me lovingly. I took a few more breaths and braced myself, "Ok, go ahead." He slid in more and even though the pain continued, I refused to tell him to stop again and finally I was rewarded when I felt his balls touch my ass as Zeke hit home. I was sweating profusely at this point, but I just stayed still, waiting and hoping for the pain to subside. It did subside into a dull ache instead of the intense burning I was feeling before. Zeke was licking his lips and breathing hard. I could only imagine how hard this was for him. "Make love to me Zeke," I said and Zeke opened his eyes staring back into mine. "Let me find something first," he said smiling, "I'm just gonna move around a bit, but not pull out," he said and I nodded, grateful he was letting me know what he was going to do beforehand so I wouldn't be unprepared for something painful. Zeke rotated his hips slightly and I could feel his hard cock poking in my insides or sliding back and forth. "Ah, Zeke!" I cried out and I gripped the blankets. "Now we can get started," Zeke said, "And I know where I have to aim for," he teased pushing his cock on my prostate again causing me to shudder. I laughed, "Ok, show me what you got then, big boy," and Zeke grinned at me. He pulled out slowly and pushed back in equally slowly. The pain was barely there as I got used to the feeling. Sliding in and out, continually hitting my spot, I felt really good and as I glanced at Zeke and saw the enjoyment written across his face, I was filled with more love for him, happy that I could do this for him. I knew some gay guys never switched positions, but I didn't want to be that way to Zeke. His thrusts became a bit faster and I wrapped my legs around his waist, "Harder," I instructed and Zeke moaned as he held my hips and plowed into me a bit more forcefully. Zeke was careful to hit my prostate each time he thrust and as each one of his thrusts became harder, more powerful, and more frenzied, I got closer and closer to my release. "Oh fuck," I said shivering as waves of ecstasy washed over me and I gasped when the feeling just continued. I could feel myself reaching the edge faster and faster and knew I was going to cum very soon without touching myself at all. "Zeke, I'm close," I mumbled and Zeke dug into me a bit harder. I bit my lip as the raw sexual heat and pleasure engulfed me. And then it hit me. The tingling sensation ripped through my nether regions. "Fuck, Zeke, I'm cumming!" I shouted my fingers digging into his arms and I squeezed my eyes shut, thrashing my head from side to side as my cum shot out of my cock. I felt the orgasm ripple through my body and tear out of my penis. It was the most amazing orgasm I ever had. "Skyler!" Zeke screamed as he slammed into me one more time and froze as his hot semen erupted deep inside me. I gasped when I felt the explosion of warmth coating my insides, since we were condom less and all that. That as well was a new feeling. I watched Zeke's face as he came and he looked so beautiful. His mouth was slightly open, his head thrown back, his Adam's apple pushing out of his throat. His chest sweaty and his ab muscles twitching as his body tensed. Slowly his orgasm subsided and he straightened up his eyes still closed. When he opened his eyes, I saw his long blond eyelashes fluttering and his dark blue irises focused on me. He took a few breaths without saying anything, only looking at me. "Skyler." I didn't say a word, just pulled his face down to mine and shoved my tongue inside his mouth. He moaned and kissed me back. "How was that?" he asked when we broke apart. I laughed, "It was amazing you stud," and Zeke broke out into a wide smile. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you," I answered back. Zeke eased himself out of me and I felt a little empty, like my ass was wide open and nothing was filling it. He lay beside me rubbing his hand up and down my forearm. "I'm gonna be sore tomorrow," I said breaking the peaceful silence. "I know, I'm sorry," Zeke said apologetically and I smiled, turning my face to him. "That's not what I meant baby," I said. He frowned in confusion, "I'm gonna be sore tomorrow, so you can't make love to me tomorrow," I paused, "so," I drawled out, "Want to do me again?" I said taking a hold of his semi- hard cock. Zeke laughed, his stomach shaking up and down before he moved over to me. "You're such a horny little bitch," he said grinning at me. I shrugged, "Well, I'm not one to deny anything." "I fucking love you," he murmured. "Same here Z," I answered kissing him. ****************CREW***************** The following morning Hiro took me to go snowboarding. I was thoroughly excited and that was definitely the highlight of the trip. It brought up the mood a bit from when Caleb basically threatened to steal Hiro away from me. Needless to say I was in much need of some snowboarding therapy. It was a beautiful day. It wasn't muggy like it was in Jersey; instead it was cold, but sunny, so I was still in a good mood nonetheless. Hiro knew practically all of the people who worked at the mountain, well at least the older workers who remembered him from back in the day. The younger kids who were siblings of his friends recognized him as one of the best snowboarders at his high school. I walked slightly behind him and it was like being with a celebrity. It was nice to know that he was all mine. We had already completed three runs but it was intense since we were advanced snowboarders and the trail was steep and difficult, so after finishing our fourth, we were now at the base of the mountain, catching our breaths. "Hiro!" Both of us turned around and saw Caleb and some of his friends walking towards us. Ugh. I forced a neutral expression on my face as the group walked up to us. "Hey guys," Hiro said seeming to recognize Caleb's friends. "What's up? Did you just get here?" Caleb asked all his attention focused on Hiro, his blue eyes sparkling. "About an hour ago. We already did a few runs," Hiro said nodding his head towards the lift. "Awesome," Caleb said smiling, "Want to do some more with us?" he asked indicating his friends behind him. Hiro looked at me and I just smiled faintly and shrugged, not wanting to cause a scene in front of his friends. "Sure," Hiro said and my stomach felt queasy as we followed his friends to the lift and got in line. Caleb chatted with his friends and paid no attention to Hiro, which I found odd since last night he was proclaiming his love for him. Hiro nudged me and looked at me with concern. I just smiled not wanting him to worry. He frowned as if he didn't believe me. "I'm ok Hiro," I said inching closer to him and touching his hand briefly. "Guys let's go," Caleb called out as we approached the lift. The line ahead of us diminished quicker than I expected. "Hey, Hiro, wanna race down like we used to?" Caleb asked Hiro smiling charmingly. "No, that's ok, I'm not really in the racing mood," Hiro replied which made me smile slightly. Hiro was flat out lying; he always raced with me no matter what. "Awh, come on, we should do it once, like the good old times," Caleb said, "What's the real reason you don't want to go?" he asked glancing at me, squinting his eyes in annoyance at my presence, but the look passed as soon as it came. "There is no other reas-," Hiro started to say, but I interrupted him. "It's ok Hiro, you should go," I said. Hiro turned to me questioningly and Caleb looked suspicious for a second. "You should race him down, it will be fun. Maybe this time you will have some better competition than me for a change, because once we go home, the only person you have to race is me," I said adding emphasis on `we' and `me'. I shot Caleb a challenging look and smiled widely in a show of sincerity that wasn't really there. He could spend some alone time with Hiro if he wanted to, but Caleb wasn't gonna make me out to be the jealous psycho boyfriend. I didn't have to fight for Hiro, he was already mine and just like I said before, in a few days Hiro and I would be going home to New Jersey together and then I would be the one around, not Caleb. Something akin to an angry snarl made its way to Caleb's attractive features, but he pushed it aside and smiled even though it didn't quite make it to his eyes. He lifted his chin and shot me a dirty look instead, obviously getting my message. "Alright then, let's go Hiro," he said putting on a normal face again and sort of pulling Hiro along with him. Hiro looked at me as if he didn't want to leave me and I simply smiled. "Have fun Hiro. I'll meet you down there," I said and he followed Caleb to the lift and sat down, his head turning to look at me one last time before taking off. I shot him another smile and waved slightly as I walked towards my own lift chair and sat down with one of Caleb's friend who appeared distant. I shrugged not really caring whether they liked me or not. When we reached the top of the diamond, I slid off easily and stopped so I could adjust my goggles. I looked around but didn't se Caleb' friends around, but then again, there were a lot of guys coming off the lifts and I couldn't remember what Caleb's friend were wearing since I hadn't paid them much attention. Luckily I brought my IPOD with me whenever I went snowboarding, so I slid over to a corner to pick out a song since I didn't want to get barreled into by people coming off the lift. I searched through the songs until I found Gnarles Barkley's `Crazy'. I stuck my headphones into my ears and pressed play as I jumped and whipped my board around 45 degrees and started my descent downward. `Crazy' was a short song and I had this thing where whatever song I played, I would try to beat the song, meaning I wanted to get down to the base of the mountain before the song ended. However, this was a shorter song than most, so it was definitely a challenging task for me, but one that I was up for since I had some pent up anger after my multiple run ins with Caleb. I tightened my stomach and kept my arms to my side as to not throw myself off balance and I could feel my abdominal muscles clenching and burning as I forced myself to go faster. I hit the first turn quite sharply and my thighs burned as I tried to compensate for my abrupt shift in movement. I was concentrating so hard on beating the song and forcing my body to go faster than was humanly possible, I never noticed the two guys coming up behind me, one on each side. I noticed them when they got too close to me, but at the speeds we were all going at, I couldn't exactly stop and ask them what the fuck they were doing. The guy on my right got so close to me that the tip of his board hit the middle of mine causing me to slide over to the guy on my left. As my board wobbled around trying to steady itself, the guy on my left rammed into the back of my board so hard that I could feel myself lift off a bit and fall forward. Falling forward on a snowboard is a painful thing, because with the board attached to your feet, you just bowl over head first. From the corner of my eye I saw snow spraying up, but I didn't register what that meant. I was too focused on my falling head first, arms shooting out to brace myself for the impact. I felt a twinge of pain in my wrist, but I couldn't focus on it as I continued to roll forward. My face hit the snow first and since the mountain was so steep, my head snapped back painfully as the rest of my torso fell. My headphones were torn from my ear and my goggles pushed off my head. My board got caught in the snow and since I was falling face forward and head first, it felt like my legs were being ripped off my body. I couldn't reach over and un strap my boots, so my feet were securely locked in and I felt tears come to my eyes as I could literally feel something tearing in my knee caps as more pressure was applied as I continued to fall. Black diamond levels are practically vertical, so I slid forward for about ten feet, with my board digging painfully into the snow, breaking my knees, or at least it felt like it was breaking my knees, until I managed to swing my lower body to my side in an L shape, taking some of the pressure off my already smarting knees and slowing me down a bit as I hurtled down the mountain. As another hard turn approached, I kind of fell into the trees off to the side and I was relieved because I didn't want to keep going forward. The pain was just too much for me at this point. I lay motionless near the trees, breathing hard, wondering what had happened and hoping for help to come. With shaking hands, I felt my knees which felt swollen and hot, throbbing with pain. I closed my eyes and felt more tears come to them. I just wanted to get out of here. Or at least down to level ground. I heard the sound of someone coming closer to me. I opened my eyes, but it was all kind of a blur with my tears. I didn't see it coming. All I saw was a neon yellow board and a neon yellow shirt with black block writing across it coming straight towards me and it didn't look like the boarder had any intention of stopping or slowing down. The tip of his board got closer and closer to my face and my eyes widened in fear of what was going to happen. SLAM! My head was hit so hard, I could hear the knocking sound as the board made contact with my head and the cracking of my neck. The initial hit hurt, but when the pain set it, I felt a huge throbbing and my entire face felt like it was on fire. Unfortunately I felt too weak and hurt to even reach for my face. I did feel something warm and sticky on the left side of my face, but I was beginning to see spots and my vision was fading in and out. The warm liquid that was coming out of nowhere began to spill down into my ear and onto my neck and my eyesight got fuzzy, all green and yellow. Was I hallucinating something? I turned my head and more of this hot substance coated the left side of my face and neck, some even falling into my eyes, and I looked into the pristine white snow beside me. It wasn't pristine and pure anymore though; it was covered in a thick red coating of something. It was a dark murky red and had a metallic scent to it. I felt like retching and I gagged, my eyesight completely gone at this point. It was too much of an effort to keep my eyes open at this point. My eyes were failing me, my lower body that had been aching and searing with pain previously had become numb since I was lying on the cold snow. I didn't even have the energy to pay any attention to the snowboarders that had stopped around me and were asking me questions. I could not answer them even if I wanted to. I was weak and couldn't fight whatever it was that was making me drowsy. I gave in. I didn't have it in me; I really was too weak. My thoughts turned to Hiro. I longed for his gentle touch and his strong arms around me. I wanted to look into his beautiful eyes one last time. I wanted him there; somehow I knew his presence would miraculously make everything all right. I felt a tear slide out of my eye as I realized I would never see Hiro again and the unfairness of it all. I guess Caleb would have Hiro back after all. The irony almost made me laugh, if could that is. Apparently when you're near death you become delusional. Taking one last breath my eyes finally shut as the concerned voices of fellow snowboarders drifted away and I felt at peace as the blackness finally overtook me. **************