Date: Mon, 25 Apr 2011 04:42:08 -0700 (PDT)
From: Crispin Taylor
Subject: Keep Bleeding, Chapter I (Revised)

Disclaimer: So, based on the trend I've seen, I am supposed to warn you
about any questionable material in this story. Well?there's some reference
to sex, there's some actual sex, and there's some pretty strong language
along with very intense situations including underage drinking, drug use,
mild violence, mention of suicide, and the use of real persons whose names
have been slightly modified. This story is based 99% on true events; that
1% is due to my lack of perfect memory. Other than any of the
aforementioned things, if you are not 18 and are not at will to read pieces
that can be described using the above scenarios, you probably shouldn't
read this.

Keep Bleeding
By Crispin Taylor

So he finally wrapped his arms around me, holding me closer than I've ever
been held and to the point where I felt I would simply melt into him; and
for once in my whole life, every outside force, every inside thought, and
every molecule of anxiety coursing through my body, finally stopped. And I
was at peace.

	Chapter I-Pizza mit Ketchup

	I sucked in a deep breath and pulled my backpack from the seat next
to me in the cab I'd hailed from O'Hare. My legs seemed to be fine, which
was good, because I thought for sure they were going to give out. I slung
the not-so-heavy-anymore backpack around my right shoulder, pulled my
wallet out, and tipped the cabbie about 10 bucks. The fare was only 40?but
being a server, I was always too generous with my tips.
	Chris was going to be outside any minute. I could feel my heartbeat
accelerate just a tiny bit with every step I took before I remembered I
still had my duffle in the trunk. Laughing slightly to myself, I turned on
my heel and opened the cab trunk, fishing the large bag out with only
slight difficulty.
	Then I exhaled again.
	This was it. The moment I'd been waiting for since October 4th. I
was meeting him. Face to face.
	A slightly chilled breeze snapped me from my anxiety and I pulled
my new American Eagle jacket a little closer. Chicago wind really was as
bad as he'd said, even on March 21st. I wasn't ever going to admit that to
him; I'm from Michigan, and living in South Carolina for 8 years of my life
hadn't turned me into a weather pansy. I swear it hasn't.
	I looked at the large building that had to be the dorms. The cab
had pulled over onto the opposite side of the road, but it didn't matter;
Chris was going to come outside and bring me in.
	I counted the seconds. 17?18?19?
	I could see a behemoth form inside, a t-shirt and shorts worn
casually, coming towards the exit. This is it. This is him. 6 feet and 4
inches of everything I desired.
	The door swung open and I watched his steady gait; deliberate yet
casual, with a slightly intimidating aura surrounding him. As he got
closer, I couldn't fight the immense grin covering my face. He was even
more amazing in person. His hair seemed to glow like sparks from the sun
when it was illuminated by the streetlights. In all of his pictures, his
hair was always darker, but in person, it was blatantly blond. Brilliant
golden spikes cut short like a buzz.
	But just when I thought I could hold my own; that I wasn't going to
be absolutely blown away by him, I saw his incredible eyes. Two
sapphire-tainted emeralds blazing with all sorts of energy, yet frozen like
two crystalline objects slammed into his eye-sockets. I felt the air
cascade from my lungs. He was incredible.
	I let my eyes wander over the rest of his body: his broad
shoulders, his wide chest, strong and sturdy legs?
	My attention returned quickly and I remembered to speak.
	"Shorts, a t-shirt, and flip flops? You do see the snow on the
ground, right?"
	He grinned his lopsided grin, the one dimple in his left (or right
as I see it) cheek appearing like a perfectly formed dip in his smooth,
ivory skin. My breath hitched, but I covered it with a grin of my own.
	"So I'm really sorry I'm here so late. Obviously I have the worst
traveler's luck. Not to mention, I had no idea where your dorms were."
	He chuckled. "I gave you the address."
	"Yeah, I know, but like?it doesn't list the address on the
building, so the cab driver just kinda pulled up on the side of the
road. That's when I called you."
	"Yeah, but from the cab driver's phone!" he joked, laughing at my
expense.
	We were entering the building now. He swiped his student ID and the
second series of doors clicked, allowing him to swing it open with his
Hulk-strength arm. He held the door open and I trampled in with my huge
duffle and backpack. Awkwardly, I stood at the front desk with him as
someone before us signed a guest in.
	"Well my phone was dead! I need to charge it?"
	I reached for the phone that my mom had let me borrow while I was
in Chicago. I felt nothing in my pocket. So I checked again. Other
pockets. Back pockets. Jacket pockets.
	"What the fu?"
	"What?" he asked slowly.
	"I?can't find my phone."
	A look of realization came over his face. It was a curious face
that I found myself smiling at. He opened his mouth almost like he was
yawning, his eyebrows raising in an amused manner and his eyes alight with
mischief yet understanding. "Did you leave it in the cab?"
	My face drained of its excess of color.
	"Fuck."
	"Here, you can call him. It's still in my recent calls."
	I wanted to kiss him. Well?even more so than before, that is. I
took his way too large phone and put it to my ear, where the other end was
already ringing.
	It's a really good thing I tipped that driver so well, or I'm sure
he wouldn't have come back. Thankfully, he did, and I received my phone
just fine.
	The most awkward part so far was the elevator. After signing me in,
we had to take the elevator up to the top floor-7th-where his room was. It
was quiet in the dorm and the elevator, and I tried not to stare. But I
did. He was so much different looking in person. So tall?so strong?so much
brighter. My heart gave a small, feeble whine, but I silenced it. I had to
control my emotions. I promised.
	"So I'm making pizza," he said with a sly smile.
	"No ketchup, right?"
	"Of course I have ketchup. What's pizza without ketchup?"
	"Good pizza," I countered.
	He rolled his eyes and laughed as he unlocked his dorm door. "Don't
diss it 'til you've tried it."
	"Yeah, oh-kay."
	The door opened silently and I glanced into his place. It was much
smaller than it had looked on the webcam. There was a dark blue couch I
knew all too well against the left-hand wall; at the end nearest the window
was a table with a lamp on it. Closest to us was his desk, and on the
right-hand side, his roommate's desk (cluttered and quite disgusting, I
might add) which was right next to the large flatscreen TV. Near the TV was
the dinner table which was currently being used to dry dishes; and to our
immediate right was the kitchenette, complete with a reverse-hinged
refrigerator, a tiny stovetop and oven, and a single-basin sink. Very cozy.
	"Wilkommen zu Haus," he said in German, nudging me.
	"You really did clean up for me, huh?" I joked.
	He shrugged. "Eh, I got bored."
	"Yeah, yeah?I'll take that as a yes."
	He tossed his keys on the couch and turned to the kitchenette where
a pizza box sat atop the stove top, already opened with the oven
preheating.
	"Where can I put my stuff and charge my phone?" I asked, surprised
my legs had gotten me this far. I was actually pretty tired as well?
	"Oh, head to your left through the door; it's the bedroom. There's
a plug socket next to the nightstand."
	I followed his instructions and entered the room. I was hit with a
wave of the smell of teenage boys. Strangely enough, though, I could smell
his scent, which intrigued me. It was?refreshingly clean and held a slight
tinge of something?sweet? But there was another element to it?a hint of
cologne mixed with his own natural scent that blended so well I felt myself
become slightly drunk off it. Immediately I plopped down on the bed on the
right-his roommate's. It smelled strange. I didn't like it too much.
	I decided I should be quick and get the phone calls over with. I
plugged the phone in, called my best friend Liz, called my other best
friend Morgan, called my mom, and then?called my boyfriend. Yeah?boyfriend.
	It's a very complicated story, but the gist is that I ended up
dating a longtime "fuckbuddy" named Thomas, but we'd only been dating since
the previous Wednesday?which made us a couple for all of 2 days. Well?now
that it was Saturday, about 1:30 am, I guess that made it about 3 days.
	He answered, his voice slurred and angry. We'd been arguing that
day. He hates Chris and is insanely jealous of him. He has every right to
be.
	"I was just calling to tell you I was here."
	"It took you that long to get there?"
	"I took a cab and left my phone in it, so Chris had to call the cab
driver since I'd called him from the guy's phone when mine died, and asked
the guy to come back. I just got to his dorm now."
	"Where is he?"
	"Making pizza."
	"Cute."
	"Knock it off, Thomas."
	"Dude I don't care. I don't care. Do what you want. You're going to
anyway."
	"I've been here all of 20 minutes and you already think we're about
to fuck. Get real, dude."
	"Well I'ma go party with the boys?maybe call over some other
friends."
	"Like who?"
	"Peeps."
	"Girls?"
	"Maybe."
	"Lovely."
	"Aight?I'ma go now. Have a good time with Chicago boy."
	The line went dead before I could respond.
	I knew who he was inviting. I didn't like it. Another interesting
fact about Thomas was that he had a girlfriend that I insisted he keep
dating because I didn't want him to come out for me. We had agreed that he
wouldn't have sex with her, and they would just hang out?sorta like
friends, I guess. I didn't really care because I'm not a jealous person. At
all. It's almost pathetic.
	I took a deep breath and collected my thoughts before heading out
to the living area. Chris was checking the pizza.
	"How's dinner coming?"
	"Eh?still got like, 10 more minutes."
	"Uuuuuuuuuugh?I'm so hungry," I moaned. It was true. I hadn't eaten
since earlier that day at about 5 pm. It was now going on 2, and since my
body was used to Eastern Standard Time, I felt like it was 3 am?almost 12
hours without food.
	"Wanna watch some TV?"
	"Suuuuuuuuuuuure?pass the time," I responded.
	He changed the channel to something mildly more interesting and we
sat far from each other on opposite ends of the couch. I swear, to this
day, that he was giving me glances. Checking me out. Sizing me up. It made
me feel good?but it made me feel self-conscious. I was nowhere near hot
enough for him.
	"Pizza time?" I asked him after sitting in silence for a while,
save a few laughs and passing comments at the TV show.
	"Oh yeah, lemme check." He hopped up and I watched the thick
muscles in his legs work as he walked. There was a great covering of blond
hairs that made them glow slightly, like the rest of his body.
	"Yup, pizza time!" he enthused. "Mit Ketchup!"
	"Neeeeiiiiiin," I protested playfully. I had every intention of
trying the concoction of his, but I loved giving him a hard time about it.
	"Jaaaaaaaaaaa," he retorted, piling two pieces on my plate and two
pieces on his own.
	He grabbed the ketchup from his refrigerator and plopped down on
the couch?a little closer to where I was sitting this time around.
	"Do you have anything to drink?"
	"Oh yeah, you wanna check the fridge?" he asked as he squirted
ketchup onto his pizza, spreading it with his index finger before licking
it clean.
	I sighed. "Some host you are."
	He frowned in good humor at my jibe.
	I made a fool of myself and tried pulling the refrigerator door
open the normal way, but like I said before?it was a reverse-hinged fridge
for some reason. I guess he liked that, since he was left handed.
	"Other way," he said monotonously as if he'd told countless people
the same thing.
	I managed to force the fridge open and pulled out the filtered
water pitcher by Brita and poured us both drinks.
	"I feel like I never even left work," I faux-complained.
	"Good, I can see how good of a waiter you are."
	I rolled my eyes and took my seat, only inches away from him.
	He reached over and my entire body tensed, but he only squirted
ketchup on a piece of my pizza and instructed me to rub it around. So I
did.
	I took my first bite with great caution and he watched with great
interest. I chewed, tasted, and swallowed.
	"Not bad, actually."
	"HAH! I told you!"
	"Yeah, yeah?it's not the greatest, but it's not bad at all."
	He smiled smugly and we went back to watching TV, inches from each
other. It was nice.
	"So what'd Thomas say?" he asked, the smug smile back on his
face. He knew Thomas was overwhelmingly jealous of him and it made him feel
quite good.
	"Ugh?let's not even start."
	"What'd'e say?" he asked again, this time more protective sounding
like he was going to break Thomas in two. I didn't doubt that he could.
	"He was mad because I called other people before him, and then he
assumed you and I were already fucking or something?I dunno. He's
weird. But now he's drinking with his buddies and inviting 'peeps' over. So
Haley's coming over."
	"What the fuck?"
	"I know."
	"Dude?you needa drop him," he said matter-of-factly, licking his
thumb clean of ketchup. His hands were quite sexy too, I must admit. They
were muscled yet smooth, with wide fingers that looked delicate yet
destructive.
	"Yeah?I know."
	"Liz texted me."
	"She what?"
	"Yah," he said, smirking even more now. He was all out cheesing
after a few seconds.
	"What'd she say?" I asked slowly.
	His smile was a megawatt brighter as he clicked the inbox of his
phone.
	"'So make sure to use protection when you fuck my best friend.'"
	My mouth dropped in horror, a smile all but ripping at the sides of
my mouth. Liz was a crazy broad, but she always had my best interests at
heart. She knew it was what I wanted.
	"What?!" I finally managed to get out.
	"Yah," he said, still smiling.
	"Wow?what'd you say?"
	He let out a laugh, the most enticing sound in the world, and
switched to his sent items. "'Well if you knew your best friend you would
know protection as far as latex is out of the question lol.'"
	My jeans instantly tightened and I couldn't help but laugh at his
response. But a pit of anxiousness popped into existence in my gut.
	"Too bad I have a boyfriend," I reminded him, choosing to play his
game of banter.
	"Yeah, but for how long is the question."
	I was taken aback by that. "And even if I didn't have one, what
makes you think I'd let you unleash The Monster on me?"
	He guffawed and tears came to his eyes as he leaned slightly to the
side, his body wracked with laughter.
	"I'm serious!" I added, also laughing.
	"The Monster" was the nickname given to his penis by some guy
online who always begged him to "cam" for him. It was a very fitting
nickname. Chris' dick was very proportionate to his immense body, the girth
something I could only imagine had torn many people open. I was scared to
say the least, but it was also something I wanted more than anything. That
was true, and we both knew it.
	"Wow," he finally said as his laughter subsided.
	"I can't believe she texted you that," I muttered.
	"She's your best friend," he reminded me.
	I shrugged. "She always has my best interest at heart."
	There was a moment where our eyes locked. My dark brown, dull pools
of emotion shielded by the frigidness of previous heartbreak, colliding
with the arctic suns blazing with an aquamarine quality that I swear could
only be found in the rarest of gems. My heart thudded so loudly I was sure
he could hear it.
	Then the silence broke.
	"I'm sure she does," he said slowly, his voice slightly huskier. My
pants became noticeably smaller to me.
	"So where's Iwon?" I asked. It had taken me forever to learn to say
her name, since I'd never heard it before. Turns out it's said just like
Yvonne. Interesting.
	"Her family's really Polish and Catholic so they do Saturday Mass
and Sunday Mass for Easter."
	"Ah," I said, nodding. "So we probably won't see her 'til??"
	"Monday most likely," he answered.
	"Well that sucks."
	"Just a lil bit. What're you gonna do when I go home tomorrow for
Easter?"
	"Eh?probably just hang around, watch TV and stuff. Maybe sleep in?"
	He laughed, "Ah?sleeping in."
	"Tell me about it. I hardly got any sleep last night because I was
anxious about leaving."
	He smirked an all-knowing smirk and I knew all this attention was
only making him feel even more and more golden by the moment. But I didn't
mind. I liked stroking his ego. It made me happy that he was happy, I
guess.
	"Well you must be exhausted then, huh? You ready to get to bed?
It's like 3 am."
	It was true. The time had really flown and it was then I noticed
that meeting him was not nearly as awkward as I expected.
	"Yeah?now that you mention it I am pretty fuckin tired," I said,
chuckling a bit.
	He stood and stretched, his shirt lifting up over his stomach. My
eyes immediately locked onto the gap of flesh he'd revealed. His stomach
was adorned with a dusting of dark blond hairs, starting at his navel and
working their way down to The Monster, no doubt. Happy trails?one of the
most attractive things on a guy.
	He caught me staring, I think, because he yawned and looked at me
in a different way?like he was maybe seeing that I still thought he was
attractive, even in person. He had insisted I would think otherwise. He was
very wrong.
	I stood from the couch, grabbing my long since empty plate and cup,
taking them to the sink and rinsing them.
	"Oh wow?I really am tired," I noted at how my body didn't seem to
want to respond much.
	I turned around and he was directly behind me. Inches. I wanted to
touch him so bad. To make sure he was real. To make sure I wasn't dreaming
again. To see if he felt the way I thought he would. To see if the heat
from his body would burn my hands away if I got too close. I looked up and
his eyes shot through mine. I felt the glacial stare from them, but I
couldn't look away. I wanted to lean forward-to claim his mouth as my
own-to kiss the perfectly sized pink lips and taste them-to see if they
really tasted like the most indescribable of candies. I wanted him. Bad.
	"Can you put these in the sink?" he asked in a faraway voice.
	I nodded, unable to speak. But even after I grabbed the plate, I
couldn't tear my eyes away from this image of perfection in front of me.
	He moved soon afterwards, toward the bathroom. Once the door shut,
I gripped the kitchen counter, my weight suddenly too much for my body to
support. What was going on here? His presence seemed to make my brain cease
functioning and only my heart could go on.
	By the time we were getting ready for bed, I had gathered myself
long enough to pee, wash, brush, and get ready to change. Now, changing was
the tricky part. He had seen the goods. That's the most compromising thing
to show someone, right? Not for me. I hate the rest of my body?so I didn't
want him to see it. My legs, maybe. I could risk that.
	So I pulled out some shorts. He was already in his bed on the
left-hand side of the room, propped up and watching me. He was talking, but
it was about nothing and everything. He was trying to distract me so it
didn't seem so weird that he watched me change. But I felt him watching
me. And it only made me want to jump in his bed even more. If not just to
cuddle with him, just to know he was actually there-to know he actually
existed in this physical moment.
	"Oh wow?GOD I'm tired," I said as I plopped down into his
roommate's bed. I could hardly smell the smell anymore; only the
intoxicating fumes coming from Chris that I happily and eagerly breathed
in.
	"Well get some sleep, dude, and we can do stuff tomorrow," he said.
	"Definitely."
	"Night."
	"Gut Nacht."
	It was at that moment that I decided I would have him. I had
decided it a long time ago, but this time I knew 100% absolutely that
Christopher would be mine. I, Patrick Tyler, would be part of him, and he
would be part of me. Because I knew that no matter what I did, no matter
what he did, no matter what anyone said, I would always be helplessly,
unwaveringly, inexplicably, and irrevocably in love with everything about
Christopher Barowski.

-KB: I