Date: Mon, 25 Jun 2007 07:24:41 -0700 (PDT)
From: Harry Rod <harryrod575@yahoo.com>
Subject: Kyle and Hank - Chapter 38

"I am Bill, one of Hank's brothers.  He called me when he couldn't get hold
of Kyle.  He was worried."

Oh fuck!  What had been going on here?  Man, I just wanted to crawl into a
hole and pull the dirt in after me.  I was so fucked!

"What happened?" Blake said.

"Where have you been?" Hank asked at the same time.

The officer looked at me and then said, "I think Kyle just needs some rest.
He has an appointment at 8 am tomorrow morning with the school counselor."

I just shook my head, how did I relate all that had happened and that I
felt?

The officer looked at me, put his hand on my shoulder and said, "You going
to be okay now?"

I could only nod; emotions were flooding through me at the sight of
concerned Hank.  I really loved that he was so concerned.  He really did
care for me.  And Blake was concerned as well.  Did he think Hank was going
to abuse me?

He looked around the room and said, "Kyle got a little mixed up tonight.
He needs some support, compassion, probably some space and time as well to
get his head on straight."  He looked at me, "Here's my card, you call me
if these guys don't give that to you, or if you need someone to talk to."

That made Hank look at me questioningly.  The officer was making it sound
like I had tried to commit suicide or something.  I managed a squeaky thank
you and he looked around at the 3 others guys and then me.  "And I mean
take care of him," he looked right at Hank, "keep him out of trouble,
listen to him, help him with school, be a best friend, whatever it takes."
He paused and then continued, "You are his roommate, and you have a
responsibility to him.  If you don't think that's true, then you better
speak your RA and get yourself a new room.  Kyle needs a supportive
roommate."

He nodded at me, then turned and left.

After the door closed, Hank was up close holding me tightly, asking, "Are
you okay?  What happened?  Did Blake do something to you?  Why did a cop
bring you home?  And what was that whole speech to me at the end about?"
Then he took a deep breath, "I am sorry.  You tell me what you want to tell
me when you want to tell me.  I was just so concerned when you didn't come
home this evening."  He smiled at me and leaned in and kissed my cheek.  I
could see the emotion in his face.

That warmed my heart and I smiled back.  Then I looked at Blake who was
looking between Hank and I.  And then at Bill, who was smiling looking from
his brother to me.

I began to shake again and Hank pulled me close, squeezed and said, "Its
okay, you are home now."

I nodded, moved away, sat my pack down and then began to undress.  It was
just habit, I was in my room and I was supposed to be naked.  I stopped
after I took off my shirt and looked around.  Hank pushed his boxers to the
floor and looked at Bill and Blake.  Bill shrugged his shoulders and began
taking off his polo shirt and khakis.  Blake looked around like we were
some kind of aliens, but finally shook his head and pulled off his t-shirt.
I dropped my shorts, picked them up and hung up my clothes as Hank had
taught me.

Hank, he was such a huge part of my life, but was I being controlled by him
or smothered by him or did he really care about me?  I thought he cared
about me.  That is what I wanted to think as well.

When everyone was naked, Hank moved over, sat on his bed and then patted
the bed next to him.  I went and sat on the bed but not as close to him as
he had indicated.  Bill sat on the other bed and Blake on one of the
chairs.  Bill looked so much like Hank, or probably Hank looked like him.
He had the same hair pattern that Hank had had before he was shaved; even
his cock looked the same.  He had that same smile, eyes and chin.

Everyone sat quietly and expectantly, waiting for me.

I took a deep breath.  This was going to be difficult, but I felt I needed
to get it out.  Too much had gone on.

"I had a photo session with Blake tonight," Hank nodded and Blake looked
back and forth between us.  "And I don't know, I was so on edge sexually
and horny and he looked so great and his hands felt so great and," I paused
looking at him.  He had just the hint of a smile and his dimples were
showing.  He looked a bit chagrined.

"And he was asking me about Hank and I was telling him all about us," I
looked at Hank and smiled.  "How you help me with eating and working out
and all."  I swallowed.  "And I told him about all the fun things we did
together," I smiled, "at least I thought they were fun."  I looked at Blake
and continued, "Blake made it sound like you were using me, controlling me,
demeaning me or something."

He mouth moved to say something, but both Hank and I held out our hands.
"Let me finish.  I think you were just concerned about me.  And I probably
didn't express it correctly.  And I have had so little, well none, sexual
experiences.  And you, I, we did so much and so quickly.  And you helped me
get the money and the dares and all."  I was rambling again.

"He kind of made me look at all of that in a different light."  And then I
looked sheepishly at Hank and then Blake.  "And suddenly we were touching
and naked and all."  I blushed and Blake smiled, dimples showing through a
reddening of his cheeks.  "And one thing led to another and we had sex;
wild, crazy, animalistic sex."

I looked at Hank, "I am sorry."  He started to say something but I stopped
him.

"And I felt guilty and ashamed and my mind went a bit crazy and I was
confused and oh, I don't know.  I felt sorry for myself, I felt used; which
brought back all those high school fears.  I didn't know what to do or
think.  I had just cheated on my boyfriend and then wondered if he WAS my
boyfriend or just enjoying using me."  I swallowed and felt emotions
roiling in me.

"So I took off and began to walk."  I told them about my walking and ending
up at the theatre.  I looked around at them and then in a quieter voice
told them what happened at the theatre and the officer.  I was a bit
mortified by all of it.  I wound down about the time the story got to the
officer knocking on our door.

Hank had reached over and was patting my shoulder.  "Kyle, poor Kyle, I am
so sorry you went through all of this.  You could have just come here and
talked to me.  There isn't anything you can't tell me.  I have told you
that and tried to convince you of that and never judging and tried to be
understand."

Tears rolled down my eyes and I just nodded.

"And I was just concerned for you, that you might be being used, or abused.
I thought you were so hot and cute and adorable and vulnerable, since the
first time I saw you."  He smiled and blushed.

I nodded.

I needed time again.  I now felt that Hank's love was sincere and yet I was
still scared.  Blake sensing something was going on quoted, "'In his anger
and his shame, "I am leaving, I am leaving.'"

Hank looked at his quizzically for a moment and then added, "'but the
fighter still remains.'"

I looked between them and laughed; a musically lyrics duel!

Blake looked saddened and said, "'You're beautiful.  You're beautiful, it's
true.  I saw your face in a crowded place, and I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.'"

Hank looked at me, "And you just thought you wanted freedom?"

So I quoted, "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose,
Nothing don't mean nothing honey if it ain't free."

Hank shook his head and smiled, Bill was just looking back and forth
between the three of us.  Hank said, "'Another turning point, a fork stuck
in the road, time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go, so make
the best of this test, and don't ask why.  It's not a question, but a
lesson learned in time, it's something unpredictable, but in the end it's
right.  I hope you had the time of your life.'"

And I answered, "'I just need someone to watch over me.'"

Blake came over and hugged me, smiled and said, "I'm leaving on a jet
plane, don't know when I be back again."

I responded, "Back home again, to a place he'd never been before."

He put on his clothes and Hank whispered, "Always look on the bright side
of life," and began to whistle the next line."

Even Blake smiled and showed his dimples.

As Blake was leaving Bill, not to be left out quoted, "'Home is where the
heart is, No matter how the heart lives, Inside your heart where love is,
That's where you've got to make yourself At home.'"

"Boo!  Hiss!" Hank said, "That is really lame!  Might as well sing Seasons
of Love!"

"Or, `I don't know how to love him,'" I quipped.

Blake laughed and came out with, "`Don't cry for me Argentina,'" in his
best imitation of Madonna.

"Assholes!"  Bill said, but smiled.

Blake left and Hank moved over close to me and put his arm around my
shoulder, "It's okay about you and Blake.  I understand.  I want you to
experience everything and anything and have no qualms or doubts or shame
about it."  He paused and then added, "Except the cop thing.  Sounds like
he pretty much scared the shit out of you."

Thinking back on the humiliation and fear I felt then, but me right back in
the middle of those emotions.  I shivered and he held me tighter.  "My
roommate, stripping naked in a movie theatre!  Who would have ever thought?
`What can it mean, to a daydream believer?'"

"Funny, but the rest of that line is: `and a homecoming queen.'" And
punched him on the leg.

"If you two are going to sit here and quote music back and forth all night,
I might as well go out on a date with Connie and Carla and maybe find
Debbie Reynolds!"  We both laughed.

"So are you going to be alright?"  Hank asked, the joking aside and concern
back in his voice.

"I was trying to explain how wonderful you were and how you have let me
experience so much and he just kept making it sound horrible and I got so
confused."  I looked at Bill and said, "This is just all too new for me."

Bill nodded and then said, "Hey, it's getting late.  I better go find a
place to spend the night."

"Nonsense.  We are going to push the beds together and you can sleep here
with us."  Hank smiled and said, "It's been a while since I got to sleep
naked with my favorite brother."

"You tell all your brothers that!" he said, reaching over to ruffle Hank's
hair as Hank always did with mine.  It made me feel good to see that.

We pushed the beds together and made one giant bed.  Hank, Bill and I went
in to the toilet and stood around the bowl and took a leak together.  Bill
and Hank smiled and played light sabers with their streams and I joined in,
laughing.

When we were done, Hank raised my arms and stuck his nose into my pit and
said, "You reek!"  He looked at Bill and said, "Doesn't he?"

So Bill stuck his nose into my arm pit, sniffed and said, "Yes, I don't
know if I want to be sleeping with something that smells like that!"  He
said waving his hand in front of his nose.

"Okay, quick shower and then bed!" Hank said, once again in control.

Bill took the offered towel from Hank and put it over one arm.  I took the
second one and look at both of them. They were just going to walk naked to
the showers, down the dorm hall, stark naked!  Wasn't this what Blake had
talked about?  I shook my head, grabbed my shaving kit, draped the towel
over my arm and followed the two of them out the door.

Then it hit me right between the eyes.  This is what I almost got arrested
for!  "No!," I cried and my stomach tied up into a knot and I knew I was
going to lose it.  I turned back into the room, ran to the toilet and got
on my knees just in time.  I threw up and continued until it was just the
dry heaves and I was shaking so.

Hank had come back in and was kneeling beside me holding me and my head.  I
just shook my head to his questions.  Bill was standing in the doorway
watching.  When I could get myself under control, Hank flushed the toilet
and I stood up and nearly fell over.  I was shaking badly.  Hank handed me
a glass of water while he held me steady.

"You okay, little brother?"  I just shook my head as I greedily drank down
the water, trying to wash that terrible taste out of my mouth.  "Easy on
the water; you could be back on your knees if you don't."

He continued to stroke my back as he steadied me.  I looked at his face and
saw the concern there, yet he had just about led me into an exhibitionist
scene again.  It was too much and too close to what had just happened.

I had almost been arrested and that cop had scared me to the core and then
released me.  I guess my emotions were on a rollercoaster.  I was having
trouble getting them under control.

When I was a bit steadier, I moved away from Hank a bit.  "Sorry, I just
lost it."  Hank nodded, and I continued, "I was nearly arrested for being
an exhibitionist and then you go and have me do it again.  It was too
much."  Hank started to say something, so I charged on.

"Hank, please give me a bit of space.  I don't want to lose you and I can't
be with you at this moment.  I need to think and get some things squared
away."  I thought for a moment, "Maybe, I can go stay with Eldon and Billy,
or Jimmy and Jared tonight."

He shook his head and then said, "No, you stay here, I'll go find a place
to stay.  But I think Bill should stay with you tonight.  He is more of a
neutral person in all of this.  And the cop wanted me to make sure you go
to the counselor in the morning.  You need someone with you."  He smiled
weakly and added, "I don't want you doing anything else crazy tonight."

I wanted to cry at his concern, it was so touching.  And I didn't really
want to be alone.  I could only nod.  "Okay, I'll grab some stuff, but I'll
be back for you first thing in the morning." Hank said, patting me on the
back once again.  "And I am sorry, that I pushed you into that situation."

I didn't know if he meant the recent stepping into the hall naked or the
theatre or Blake or what.

He went out into the room and Bill stepped up.  "Let's at least get you
cleaned up a bit."  He ran the water in the sink and when it was warm he
put a washcloth under the steam.  He put some soap on it and began to scrub
me down from top to bottom.  He concentrated on my face, pits, crotch and
ass.

When he was done, he dried me off and handed me some mouthwash.  I took a
swig, swished it around and spit it out.  I was feeling a bit more human.
When I came out of the toilet, Hank was gone.  I was disappointed; I had
wanted to say something to him.  But I didn't know what I would have said.

Bill asked if I wanted the beds pulled apart and I said no.  Then he asked
if I wanted him to put on some clothes; again I shook my head.  In the
privacy of my own room, this seemed normal.

I crawled up onto the bed and with my back against the wall, propped on a
pillow, I crossed my legs.  Bill got up on the bed and sat across from me.
"So you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head, but then nodded; after all I had sat up in bed.  "I don't
know where to start."  I said truthfully.

"Just start where ever you want."  He smiled and I saw Hank's smile there.
"Hank tells me this is all new to you and he was the first person you ever
came out to.  That has to be an emotional thing.  I know it was for me."

He had broken the ice then and we began to talk.  He told me about coming
out, admitting that he was gay, afraid of what people might say.  He knew
his parents would be okay with it and his brothers so that had helped.

I shared my feelings and what I had been through in high school, always
ending up the butt of some prank or joke; guys befriending me only to use
the friendship to get me to do something stupid.  I realized, that I had
been wanting a male friend, any male in a way to be close to a guy and I
wanted so bad to have a friend that I would do anything they ask, just to
be accepted.

He nodded his head, "And now Hank is here asking you, or maybe telling you,
or probably betting you to do things and you are falling into the same
routine."  He paused for a moment and then looked me in the face and said,
"And when other people see you, maybe laugh, or point or you just get
turned on by it, You can trust your feelings and fall back on the feelings
you had in high school of being used or taken advantage of."

I nodded and realized what he was saying made sense.  We continue to talk
on and on.  I asked him if he had ever had any problem with the police.  He
laughed and explained.  "When I was a senior in high school and hadn't come
out yet, I would go to this restroom in this park.  It was way at the back
of the park and there was a hole between the two toilet stalls."  A glory
hole, I knew what he meant.  "I used to go there and look through the hole
and hope to catch a glimpse of some guy's dick.  Often times, they would
stroke it while I watched.  I would get so turned on.  I would be pounding
my meat as well."

He smiled visualizing it in his mind, "The first time a guy stuck his dick
through the hole, I didn't know what to do."  He chuckled, "I was so naïve.
I mean I knew about sucking and all, but I didn't know if I was supposed to
stroke him or suck him.  So I wrapped my hand around his dick and began
stroking."

He shook his head, "I was squeezing so hard and pumping so fast, trying to
do to him what I wanted done to my cock.  He began moaning and pushing his
cock into my hand.  I saw his hands on the top of the partition as he held
on and fucked the hole."  He smiled again, "He shot a load all over my
pants, legs, hands, everywhere.  I was so amazed; I kept stroking wanting
more until he cried out and pulled his cock back.  Evidently, it had gotten
too sensitive for him."

Bill smiled and looked at me, "He pulled up his pants and got out of there
fast.  I was so horny, I sat there pumping my own dick.  It was so awesome.
I mean I had jerked off with my brothers before and some of the guys from
high school, but this had been a complete stranger.  It was mind blowing to
me and pump furiously and then shot my own huge load all over the floors,
my pants and sat there panting."

I could see that this was turning him on, this recollection.  "So I decided
that the next time I came here I was going to stick my cock through and let
some stranger jerk me off."  He shook his head.  "I stood up, pulled up my
pants and saw that I had cum all over the front of them.  I went out to the
sink and tried to clean myself up as much as possible."  This discussion
was having the usual effect on me, my cock was stirring.

He shook his head, "I went there immediately after school the next day and
got to the booth and pulled my shorts off and sat there achingly hard
waiting for someone to arrive.  In a couple of minutes, a guy came in, went
into the stall, unzipped, pulled down his pants and sat down on the toilet.
Eager to feel this stranger on my dick, I stood and pushed my cock
through."  He closed his eyes.  I was rigid with anticipation.

"The guy gripped my cock so tight I couldn't move, then I heard, `Okay,
pervert, I am going to let go, but you are going to open your stall door.'
My heart pounded and my hand shook as I unlatched the door.  I looked up to
see this policeman all dressed in dark blue standing there with mirrored
sunglasses on, so I couldn't see his expression.

"'How old are you, boy?" he asked, as I stood there nearly naked with a
fast wilting cock.  I told him I was 18, which was true.  He shook his head
and asked me if I was still in high school.  I told him yes and remembered
to say `Sir," when I answered him as my father had taught me.  My own cock
was caught up in the emotions of the story and had softened a bit.

"'What are you doing in a place like this?  Don't you know that one it is
against the law to exhibit lewd behavior in a public place.  And two, there
are some pretty bad types that hang around here.  Just last month, a guy
about your age was beaten and raped by a bunch of guys and left naked
behind the building.' That really scared me."

I could see that Bill was reliving it, "He told me he wasn't going to
arrest me, that he was just going to take me home and if he ever saw me
there again, he would arrest me and that I wouldn't like what the guys
would do to me in jail."  He shook his head, "I was so scared, of being
caught, the possibility of jail, him taking me home, that I turned around
and threw up right there."  He laughed.

"When I was finished, he told me to get my pants on, grab my stuff, rinse
my mouth and follow him.  He took me out to his squad car, put me in the
back seat and drove me home.  Fortunately, only a couple of my brothers
were home when we arrived.  Before he opened the car door and let me out,
the cop told me, `You are a cute kid; there are plenty of guys out there
your age that you can hook up.  Be careful, be smart and don't screw up
your life.' He smiled, patted me on the shoulder and watched as I went into
the house."

Bill leaned back, "I had to explain to my brother what had gone on.  I
thought they would be made, but they weren't.  They understood what I was
going through and talked to me.  They even made a joke that they could set
up a hole between their closet and the next room and I could service their
friends, when they brought them over at night.  I blushed and they
laughed."

He smiled, "All of them were really cool and we got to have lots of fun.  I
am sure Hank has told you some of the wild stuff we have done."  I nodded.

He encouraged me to talk some then and I went on about all that had gone on
over the last couple of weeks.  Photo shoots, auctioning my underwear,
naked running, being on display, exposed and all.  It just tumbled out and
about Jim, Jared, Mikail, Billy, Eldon, and all of them, ending with Blake.
At times I would be rock hard as I recalled them at other times I would
soften a bit as I got caught up in the emotions and details of the
situation.

I asked him, that if I cared so much for Hank, why would Blake turn me on
so?  He said, "Well, you have to decide, if you care for Hank because he
was the first and taught you so much, so you feel you owe him, or if you
care for him for reasons of the heart."

He smiled and moved up closer to me and rubbed my head in the manner of
Hank.  "Sometimes, there are just people that have an electric wire that
you brush against and get a shock.  That shock can rewire you a bit, or
maybe it just puts a jolt in little Kyle and your other head makes the
decision.  It can be infatuation."

He laughed, "Or maybe, Blake is your cosmic soul mate and you were destined
to be together."

I punched his arm, but I appreciated his thoughts.  I lay down then and he
moved over near by.  He put one hand on my arm and I listened to him talk
more about his boyfriends, romance and his life.  My hand drifted over
until it rested on his thigh.  It was so warm.  I relaxed and listened some
more until someplace in there I drifted off to sleep.

I remember by dream vividly.  I was sharing an apartment with Hank and
Blake.  We slept together in a big bed and everyone took turns doing each
other.  Hank would take me swimming naked in our pool and Blake would sit
with me in front of the fireplace and stroke my hair.

I was brought out of my dream, by a slap on my ass, "Wake up little
brother.  Time to rise and shine!"  He pulled what little bit of covers I
still had around me, off and said, "Oh and my brother is trying to make the
moves on my boyfriend?"

I heard boyfriend, liked that, but didn't know what he meant.  I managed to
get my eyes open then and tried to focus on what was around me.  I looked
over and there was Bill, naked, of course, but with his dick hard and
apparently lined up on my ass.  I laughed.  I knew he had just ended up in
that position sleeping.

I looked down and saw I had my own morning wood.  It was no wonder after
the dream I had.  Hank told me to grab a robe, towel, shaving kit and get
down to the showers and get cleaned up.  I had five minutes he said.

He didn't accompany me and it felt strange going to the showers alone.  I
hadn't done this very often in the last couple of weeks.  I did not spend
much time looking at the other guys there.  I did peek, but I quickly
showered, shaved, and headed back to the room.

I dressed as Hank and Bill waited and watched.  Hank didn't say a word
until I was dressed, "Okay, let's get you some breakfast and then off to
the counselor."

I grabbed my stuff and we head down stars to the cafeteria.  Bill went
through the line first and then Hank.  This morning Hank didn't put stuff
on my tray.  So I picked stuff I hadn't had in a long time.  Some fried
potatoes, eggs with cheese, waffles, syrup, bacon and a bagel with cream
cheese.  I was smirking, thinking to myself that will teach you to let me
pick my own stuff.

Then I looked at the tray and my heart swelled.  I didn't want to defy
everything Hank had done for me. I took the tray to the tray drop off.  I
dumped it all and went back and got some fruit, yogurt and tea.  I wiped my
eyes before I got to the table.  I didn't want Hank seeing me acting like a
little ninny.

Bill and Hank chatted about their family.  Bill was bringing Hank up to
date on the status of all his brothers.  I really did feel excluded in one
way, but in another, it was nice to be included in this family talk.

After breakfast, Hank walked with me over to the counselor office.  I took
a deep breath and Hank nodded, smiled that special smile and said, "It will
be alright.  I'll be right here if you need me and I'll be right here when
you get done."

"But what about your classes?" I protested.

"Don't worry; you are more important at the moment."  That really put a
lump in my throat.  He was so caring.  I nodded my head and opened the
door.

I was in an empty waiting room, but not for long.  The office door opened
and a guy came through.  He was about 30, tall, strong and smiling.  He
exuded strength and confidence.  I immediately felt I could tell him
anything.  I smiled to myself.  Bill would laugh.  Here I was trusting
someone that I haven't even introduced myself to.

"Kyle?"  I nodded, he extended his hand, which I took and he gripped with
firmness.  "Marshall." He said, introducing himself.  "Come on, in."

I followed him into his office.  I don't know what I was expecting, but it
wasn't this.  I guess I was expecting the Freud, stereotypical, MTv'd
shrink's office.  But this was just an office, lots of light, plants, and
books.  The desk was off to one side and he led us over to two comfortable
chairs that were not quite facing each other, but at an angle to each
other.  He motioned to one and sat in the other.

I sat down and he said, "So Larry tells me you lost it a bit last night and
thought we should talk."

"Larry?" I said, lost again.

"My partner, the police officer, Larry Rutherford."  He smiled and
indicated the picture of him and Larry sitting on his desk.  Well I'll be
damned!


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harry