Date: Thu, 30 Mar 2006 21:10:48 -0700
From: Roy <roynm@mac.com>
Subject: Leith - chapter 3 - college section

This story contains portrayals of homosexual actions and lifestyles.  There
may be references to, or explicit descriptions of, sex between consenting
adults.

If homosexuality, sexually explicit language, or swearing offends you, or
if reading material that contains these topics violates any law or personal
or religious beliefs, or if you under 18 years of age, please leave now,
without proceeding further.

This story is entirely fictional, and any resemblances to actual persons
are completely coincidental.  Actual locations are mentioned, and are used
for 'background' only.

Many of the character's names are Finnish.  For those who wish to know how
they are pronounced, read on.

Mikko - MEEK-ko
Paavo - PAH-vo
Joel - YOE-el
Halonen - HALL-oh-nen

----------

Roy
roynm@mac.com

Leith - chapter 3

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Leith awoke with his arm around his father.  The sun had only just come up,
painting the lake a sparkling gold blanket to the horizon.  He missed
waking up to the sound of birdsong in the old oak tree outside his bedroom
window.  This apartment was so sterile.  It even smelled . . .  wrong.  It
was a beautiful place but it would never be home.

The feel of his father's body next to him was comforting.  He had the best
night's sleep in months, sleeping with his father.  He remembered turning
over in the middle of the night and smiling when Mikko scooted close and
laid an arm protectively over his chest.  He took a deep breath, reveling
in the feeling of warmth and security being close to his father created.

Last night was also the first time since Mason died that he had erotic
dreams.  Perhaps it was because he was in bed with a naked man . . .  a
*sexy* naked man.  Mason often wondered what it would be like to have sex
with their father.  He knew Mikko felt guilty about the time in the sauna
with Uncle Joel and his cousin Brett, so he never brought it up.  Ever
since that day he knew he was attracted to his father sexually.  As much as
he hated to admit it, he also knew he could never act on those feelings.
'Dad would freak," he thought.

He would watch his father wearing his tight white boxer briefs that cupped
his cock and balls and fantasized late at night.  He especially liked how
the fabric of the underwear would mold itself to his father's firm rounded
butt, and how his black chest hair narrowed to a thin line, disappearing
beneath the waistband of the briefs, so different from Leith's smooth body.

He had often masturbated thinking of the dense spread of black pubic hair
he knew lay underneath those white boxer briefs, as well as of his father's
thick penis.  Both he and Mason were envious of their father's endowment.
As children they would often wonder aloud if *they* would ever be as big as
their father.  It was a disappointment to both when it became clear they
never would be.

Leith idly moved his open palm over the clipped hair of his father's chest,
and smiled.  His father stirred.  Leith knew his father liked the feeling
and puzzled at why he seemed to shy away from close contact with him. 'It
can't just be the sauna-thing,' he thought.  'There's something more going
on here, than *that.*'

'He was afraid to hold me last night, when we were standing in the living
room,' he thought, continuing to hold his father in a loose embrace.  'I
could see it in his eyes reflected in the window.  He wanted to hold me,
but he was afraid.'  Leith squinted as the sun was now shining directly in
his face.  He turned over and backed up against his father, loving the
feeling of the bare skin against his back.  Soon Mikko too turned over,
moving close to Leith and rubbing his hand over Leith's skin, from his
stomach to his chest.  Mikko moaned low in his throat and pressed closer.

Both men lay quietly, Leith drifting into a light slumber.  "*Holy shit!*"
Leith started awake at the sound of his father's surprised voice.  He
propped himself up on an elbow, turning a puzzled look over his shoulder to
see his father walking quickly toward the bathroom, muttering to himself.

'I wonder what the problem is?' he thought, lying back against the pillow
with his hands behind his head, staring at the bedroom ceiling.  The sound
of the shower in the bathroom made this seem like an ordinary morning.  The
only thing missing was the fragrance of coffee being brewed.  He closed his
eyes.  Something was wrong between him and his father.  He felt it last
night, standing in the living room.  His father was afraid to touch him.

Suddenly, he could stand it no longer.  He threw back the covers and
stretched.  Running his fingers through his hair, he walked toward the
bathroom and stood outside the doorway, able to see the naked form of his
father as he showered, the steam billowing over the top of the shower
enclosure.  After a moment he stepped into the bathroom, picking up his
father's towel and hoisted himself up onto the vanity countertop, dangling
his legs over the edge.  Once or twice he saw his father glance at him but
neither man spoke.  Finally, Mikko shut off the water and opened the door,
looking for his towel.

Leith grinned and cleared his throat, drawing his father's attention.  When
Mikko looked up, Leith pointed to the towel lying on the counter.  Mikko
noted the mischievous smile and held out his hand, remaining in the shower,
partially covered by the shower's door.  Leith's grin broadened and he
shook his head.  It seemed Mikko would have to come out of the shower to
get the towel.  All of this only took a couple seconds, but Leith became
even more convinced something was wrong.  Finally, Mikko became exasperated
and stepped from the shower, taking the few steps to take the towel from
Leith's outstretched hand.  Leith chuckled, but quickly became serious as
he watched his father dry himself.

"Dad."  He paused until his father looked up from drying his hair, the
towel partially obscuring his face.  "Why are you afraid to touch me . . .
or for me to see you naked?  You've always been sorta modest, but you've
become more so."  Leith gripped the front of the vanity counter and leaned
forward.  "Why?"  When his father said nothing, Leith continued.  "I
thought you were modest 'cause of Mom . . .  you know?  But why now when
it's just the two of us?"

Mikko finished drying his hair in silence then turned, running his fingers
through the curls and headed toward the bedroom.  "I don't want to talk
about it, Leith."  His voice continued, though Leith couldn't see him.  "It
has nothing to do with you."  Leith could hear his father rummaging about
in one of his dresser drawers.

"I think it does have something to do with me," Leith called from the
bathroom, jumping from the counter and walking into the bedroom.  He leaned
against the dresser, crossing his arms and feet at the ankles, ignoring the
fact he was naked.  "Is it 'cause you know I'm gay?"

Mikko snorted, shaking his head and pulled up his underwear, adjusting
himself in the pouch.

"Well then, why?  I'm not gonna jump you, you know, just 'cause you're
naked.  Is that what you're afraid of?"  Leith watched as his father moved
aimlessly about the room.  Finally, he sat down on the edge of the bed and
sighed.  Mikko leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and avoided
looking at his son.

"Well?"  Leith prompted.  "Are you afraid I'll jump you?"  Mikko shook his
head, still staring at the carpet.

"No, that's not it."

"Okay, then tell me what the problem is."  Leith watched his father
struggle to say something.  He opened his mouth but shut it before trying
again.

"Leith," he sighed, looking up at his son.  "I'm afraid I may jump *you,*
not the other way round."

"Oh."  The room was quiet for a moment as Leith thought through what had
been said.  "Well, why would that be so bad if you did?"

Mikko looked up as if he couldn't believe his ears.  "You're my *son,*
that's why.  Fathers are not supposed to have sexual relations with their
sons."  He stood and took a few steps toward the door as if he were going
to leave the room.  Leith continued to lean against the dresser watching as
he moved to the bedroom door then paused and turned back.

"Leith, what's gotten into you?  You're standing there naked as the day you
were born.  You want to sleep with me."  Mikko walked back into the room
and stood before his son with a puzzled look on his face.  "Like I said,
what's gotten into you?"

"Nothing's gotten into me, Dad.  I asked to sleep with you last night
'cause of the trial.  I couldn't sleep."  He looked down.  "I missed Mason.
I wanted some comfort."  He looked up again to see his father standing in
front of him with his arms crossed.

"But you were naked, Leith.  Just like now.  Why?"  Now, Leith was truly
puzzled.

"Why is me being naked such a big deal all of a sudden?  You've seen me
naked all my life; when we've been at home or when we've been at the gym or
at the sauna.  I've seen you too.  Why is being naked an issue *now?* It
never has been before."  Leith moved away from the dresser and began to
walk around the room.  "I'm not ashamed of my body, Dad.  You taught both
Mason and me that being naked was okay, 'in the appropriate places,' you
always said.  Well, I'm at home.  We don't have guests.  There isn't anyone
to be bothered by me being naked but you."  He walked to the bed and sat
cross-legged, patting the space in front of him, inviting his father to sit
down.  Mikko gingerly lowered himself to the bed, flicking the briefest of
glances at his son.  He stayed more than an arm's length away.  Leith
suppressed a grin, but was disturbed at the way his father was behaving.

"Dad," Leith leaned forward, speaking calmly.  "There's more going on with
you than being upset at me being naked . . . isn't there?  This all has
more to do with you being afraid."  Mikko turned his head slightly, giving
his son a sideways glance.  "You said a minute ago, you were afraid you
might jump *me.* That's the real problem, isn't it, the real reason you're
afraid of touching me, of me asking to be comforted, of you seeing me
naked?  You're afraid of me, afraid you might do something you may regret."

"Leith, father's do not have sex with their sons!"  Mikko stood and began
to pace back and forth.

"Okay, okay, we've covered that already.  I'm not asking you to.  Just
'cause I'm gay doesn't mean I want to have sex with anyone that is lucky
enough to have a dick!" . . . He paused a moment and then grinned.  "It
only means I can *fantasize* about having sex with those people."  Mikko
snorted, shaking his head, but smiling nonetheless.

"Dad, I'm not a child!  I can understand those incest rules for kids, but
I'm an adult.  I'm not asking you to have sex, but if we did, it would not
be abuse on your part.  It would be the same as if you were having sex with
any other adult.  The fact that I'm your son wouldn't mean anything."

Mikko looked at him incredulously.  "Okay, Leith smiled.  It *would* mean
something."  He looked at his father slyly.  "I think it would be hot."
Mikko snorted once again.  Even though the two of them were involved in a
serious discussion, it was wonderful to see Leith in a better mood.

"No, it would not be *hot.* Having sex with my son is totally different
than having sex with a guy I'm not related to."

"Why?  It's only different in your mind.  You're letting the fact we're
related make a difference to you.  We're both adults, Dad.  I may only be
eighteen, but I *am* an adult."  Leith paused a moment, suddenly stilled by
what he had been arguing about.

"Wait a minute."

Mikko looked up and smiled grimly.  "I wondered how long it would take for
you to realize the depth of what I said earlier."

"This isn't just a theoretical talk we're having is it?"  Mikko shook his
head, rubbing the back of his neck.  "I didn't know you even *thought*
about sex with guys," Leith continued in a slightly hushed voice.  "Are we
talking about sex with guys in general . . .  or me in particular."

"Guys," Mikko mumbled, fidgeting and looking anywhere but at his son.

"Oh."  Leith sat quietly for a few moments, then looked up, smiling.  "I'm
not sure whether to be pleased or insulted," he chuckled.  Mikko raised his
eyebrows asking for an explanation.

"Pleased that you're gay, or insulted that I'm not so irresistible that I'm
the only guy you want." Leith chuckled as he spoke, then began laughing,
playfully punching his father on the shoulder.

"Gay, huh?"

Mikko nodded, but made no comment.

"Must run in the family, eh?"  Mikko remained silent.  "Since when?"

His father shrugged.  "All my life, really. . . . Joel and I . . . we'll
. . . we felt, feel about each other what you and your brother did."

"Uncle Joel?"  Leith paused a moment and bowed his head.  "Wow, I didn't
know."

"When Mom was alive . . .  did you?"

"No, never . . .  well, only that once with you, Joel and Brett.  That's
the only time. . . . with anyone."

"And you've felt guilty about that time ever since, haven't you?"  Leith
leaned forward.  "*That's* what all this is about isn't it?"  He held his
arms out to his side, as if encompassing them both.  "You're feeling
guilty. . . . You've always felt guilty about that time, haven't you?

Mikko nodded, turning away.

"Why . . .  'cause of Mom?"  Mikko shook his head.  "Then why?  Uncle Joel
was pleased.  Brett wanted it.  So did I.  So what's the problem?"

"Leith, you're my son."

"So?  Dad, we've been over that part already, remember?  Besides, all we
did was beat off."

"That's not *all,* and you know it."

Leith smiled, his grey eyes twinkling.  "Well, we kissed a little too."
. . .  Satisfied?"  He asked, holding out his arms to his side and smiling.
"We all *still* wanted it.  No one was forced to do anything.  I had a
great time by the way."  Leith smiled brightly and leaned close to his
father, lowering his voice.

"You know, that was the first time I ever came?"  He nudged Mikko, smiling
broadly and wiggling his eyebrows before he began laughing.

"Geez," Mikko said, covering his eyes and flopping back on the bed.  "You
know *just* the thing to make me feel like shit.  Thanks Leith.  Next time
I need to be kicked in the chest, I'll come looking for you."

"I *told* you I enjoyed it.  There is absolutely no reason for you to feel
guilty!  What do I have to say to you to let you know that the only problem
with that day is in your own *head!*" Leith tapped his father lightly on
the forehead.  "There's nothing *I* can do to make you stop feeling guilty.
Only *you* can do that by realizing everything's cool."

"Did you ever tell Mason?"

"No," was the immediate reply.  "You, Mom?"

"No."

"Dad, Mason often wondered what it would be like to have sex with you.  I
never told him how wonderful it could be."  Leith suddenly became quiet.
"Mason . . . " he choked, closing his mouth and shook his head, unable to
go on. Mikko watched in silence for a moment as his son tried to gain
control of his emotions, finally reaching out and resting his hand on
Leith's leg, lending his emotional support.

Leith took a couple deep breaths to calm himself.  "Sorry, Dad, that
happens at the most unexpected times."

"I understand.  Happens to me too.  Once while I was in court."  Leith's
eyes grew large.  "The judge, a friend of mine, figured out what was
happening and called a hasty recess.  He invited me and the other attorney
into his chambers and explained to my opponent why the recess was called
. . . about your mother and Mason, and all."  Leith grimly nodded.  "He
couldn't have called just me into his chambers without legal ramifications
for the case we were arguing.  So . . .  I understand.  Now, you'd better
get into the shower so we can go get some breakfast."  Leith smiled,
jumping off the bed and walking into the bathroom, the pale white skin of
his ass cheeks contrasting with the rest of his body which was tanned from
his summer job as a lifeguard.

Mikko heard the shower start and the shower door close.  'I *do* feel
guilty, Leith,' he thought as he lay back again.  'The time in the sauna is
part of it, but what I *really* feel guilty over is I *still* want you.'
Mikko turned his head to the side and groaned aloud.  "You're my
son. . . . I'll never touch you, and the fact I *can't* love you like I
want is killing me."


~To be continued.~


As with my earlier story, 'Phalen,' (Nifty College Section) I would like to
thank you for taking the time to read my work.  I would also like to thank
Carey for his ceaseless efforts to make me a better writer, Gwynne for her
daily doses of humor and her insights into the characters, and Larry in
Finland for helping me with the Finnish language and for being a good
friend.  Writing may be a solitary endeavor, but the thoughts of each of
these people, as well as you, the story's readers, affect the story's
course.

I *always* welcome email from readers and enjoy hearing your thoughts.  If
you would like me to send a pic of the character(s) please email me.

NOTE: This story happens during the same period of time as the 'Phalen'
story.  As 'Phalen' ends, the two story's timelines will coincide and this
story will take over.  Confused?  I hope not.

Thanks for reading.

Roy
roynm@mac.com