Date: Wed, 25 Apr 2012 19:06:33 +0200 From: Romy Harb Subject: Little smile - Chapter 3 The characters and events in this story are completely fictional. Copyright 2012. All copyrights reserved It wasn't a big business. Each employee was responsible for a domain of the company. They called each other The Audit, The Management, The Marketing and The Accountant. These last two shared an office with each one his desk. It has been six months that they have been hired. Their names will be revealed afterwards. One day, just before they were going home, The Marketing said to The Accountant: - What's wrong with you these days! You seem worried all the time. - Aghh leave me alone. - No tell me what's going on. - What do you think a man these days should most worry about? {with a low tone} - Umm... money? - {He stands up and replies while ordering his desk} My parents are insisting on helping me. But I'm making my best to manage things on my own. I have to pay the car, the rent, the fuel, the bills, et cetera, et cetera. I'm barely living my life. I'm turning into a vegan. I'm not tiring myself but what I am saying is that many people my age have already established a stable economic balance and they're going out every night. {He pauses} Here. I said it. But it's not gonna change anything. Thank you for giving me your ear. - {Marketing smiles, approaches to him, grabs him by the shoulders but Accountant looks at the floor} Look at me! {Accountant shyly makes eye contact} Look at me. We're mates, right? Look what we're gonna do, if you want so, of course. It's been a while that I've been having problems with my roommate and the apartment owner. So, ever since, I started looking for a flat and I found something good. Twenty minutes from here by car. But I need to share it with someone. And it happens to be that I know the right person! {He shakes him but Accountant still has this sad look on his face} It's been at least six months that we're sitting face-to-face, all day long. And I already know that you live alone in your small apartment. If you share with me, you would pay less, and we can come together to work in your car, then the next day in mine, and so on. That way we can save fuel for both of us. {Accountant shakes his head and pulls away from Marketing} And you won't have to go out! You'll have me as company. {He looks into Accountant's eyes and rubs his shoulder} - {Accountant takes a breath and goes back to his desk} I don't know... - {Marketing grabs his stuff} Look, think about it. I'm heading back to my creepy roommate... {with a small chuckle} Hasta maņana! {and then he walks out of the office} After ten seconds, Accountant shoots: - Damn! I should've kissed him! Right there! {tapping at the wall} Just then, Marketing, standing at the door, makes a sound to mark his presence. He breaks the silence as the other freezes: - I forgot my coat... {He goes to get it and stays by the desk looking through papers to make himself look busy; while Accountant is silent, arranging documents, full of embarrassment} So... someone has a crush on me... - {Accountant looks at him with a funny face} What? No! What?! {and he chuckles} It's... {he proceeds with confidence} It's not what you thought it was. I mean it seems a lot like it but it's not it. It's something even weirder that you're not gonna believe it but I'm gonna tell you anyway... I just remembered a funny scene from a movie that made us, me and my sister, always burst in laughter, so I had to play it because... - Oh. - Yeah! - Okay then, I'm... see you tomorrow. {with a disappointed tone} And as he was heading towards the door, Accountant stops him: - I mean you have no reason to think otherwise, but believe it or not... {He stops} What made you think that I had a crush on you? - {Marketing turns around} Because I felt it ever since I came in here. Your mind seemed to freeze everytime I walked into the room or everytime I was around. But I wasn't sure. Until I started testing you, just to prove my theory. It turned out that the more I came closer to you and the more I approached your personal space, the more you acted awkward, conceited, shy and perplexed. You see when I just held you by the shoulders and rubbed one of them, that wasn't me acting friendly, that was me teasing you and burning your guts so much that you wouldn't stand hiding your desire for me anymore. - {Accountant swallows} Impressive. Talk about Erotomania and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. So tell me. What if? What if I had a crush on you? Let's say that I had a crush on you, hypothetically. How would you respond to that? Would you just keep teasing this person as a way of deceiving? Or does this tease mean that you might actually want to engage in something with this person but you're too afraid to make a move? - {Marketing laughs} A move! Nice one. Why do you care? Do you fancy me? {He smirks at Accountant, so the latter swallows again} Look. This teasing, for your information, is called a move! It's you who's been sitting around with your lazy ass doing nothing but freezing and mumbling at my sight! Don't talk to me about moves! - {Accountant looks down and there was a short silence} What are you saying? You're saying that you want me too? ... I mean, you want me to... be with you? - {Marketing glares at him} See! You can't even speak right when you're with me! What do you think I'm stupid?! I wouldn't notice?! And do you think that if I didn't give a damn about you I would do all this tease and all this conversation we're having right now? - {Accountant speaks after a short pause} Then say it. - Say what? - Say that you want me. Admit it. - I do want you. There. See? I'm the one doing the moves. And this is the second time. Now come here {He rushes into Accountant and kisses him} ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Next day, they went to have dinner together. At the table, they were discussing if they should move together. Accountant was saying: - Still, we need time. It's too early to discuss this. Especially that we're not just friends now. I'm not saying we're "boyfriends", but you know. - Yes but I can't see you in this condition any longer. {They pause} Look. There's something I want to tell you. A few months ago someone told me about your history. I mean about what happened to you. About the accident. And I want to tell you that I'm hiding something from you. {Accountant looks perplexed} I know you. From before the accident. Before your amnesia. But back then I haven't received any news from you. I don't think you remember this or remember who I am but, the last time I saw you it was at the garden of the university where we used to study psychology, both of us. Paul, look at me, I guess that your parents reminded you of what you have studied. And we ate sushi. And after the day I saw you in that garden, I couldn't find you on the internet. I asked about you in the university. But later, a few months ago, I understood. You had that accident just right after we met. Your family erased your profile from the internet. Since you couldn't remember a thing. Good thing you still recognized your family. Also, I didn't have your number. And apparently you quit university because you told me when I met you six months ago that you majored in accounting. So yes. I knew you before I met you and before you met me for the first time of your new life. And I knew that we liked each other. But I couldn't just tell you that. You didn't even know me! So I tried to approach you... progressively. Anyway, I couldn't believe how we got brought back together... Apparently that was too much for Paul to handle. So as Ryan was pronouncing his last sentence, Paul rushed away and drove back home, leaving Ryan with the check and lots of sad feelings. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ In fact, after the accident, Paul eventually quit his first year of psychology, he stayed at home for two years afterwards in order to get rehabilitated and to get into special therapy, and when he got ready, he went back to university and majored in accounting after three years (a bachelor's degree), then he wandered around to find a job and now he's got this one at age twenty-six. Ryan, on the other hand, got quite devastated when Paul just disappeared. And he had some trouble coping with his major. Even though he was about to finish, he felt that he didn't want this specialty because he considered that when he chose it, it must have been some sort of a reaction to the cases and the mental status he has been seeing in his family. He wasn't gonna cure them if he majored in psychology. So he quit. He decided he'd do something more practical. And eventually he stopped going to his shrink since he had recovered from his mother's death. He stayed at home for half a year and decided to major in marketing. After three years he graduated (bachelor's degree). He tried then to work with his father in the business he runs, but after a year, he concluded that it would be better for him to work outside of the family. So he found this job he's working in now at age twenty-seven. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ It was 3 a.m. Paul still couldn't sleep after this revelation. But then he remembered the smile. He remembered the brown, clown eyes. He remembered the shrink's clinic. He remembered scattered images and sounds at the university. He remembered the taste of sushi. He hadn't eaten sushi ever since. And then he remembered what happened back then at the garden: As they were eating sushi, Paul asked: - So why did you talk to me that other day, I mean, I'm a total stranger. - What do you mean? - I mean maybe I was unresponsive or unfriendly and that you shouldn't have talked to me? And do you always take new psychology students to eat sushi? - {Ryan laughs out loud} You're funny. Let's just say that I felt that you're going to be a good shrink. - Really. You just felt that. - Well... - It's okay, I got it." And they sat there in that awkward silence. Paul has just realized what he was doing. He was hoping for something that isn't going to happen, he was pushing the guy to say stuff. Even if the guy was gay or if he liked him, Paul would do the same mistake again that he did with other guys, he would be the one with the initiative that leads to a relationship or whatever, and then the other guy would use him and just walk away. Ryan couldn't but notice the sad look on Paul's face so he just ordered the check. They walked out of the restaurant and Paul was still silent and upset. So Ryan proposed: "Let's go back to the campus, what do you think?" Paul shrugged his shoulders. So they went. They didn't speak a word all the way. And when they arrived Paul spoke: "You know, I should be probably get going, I have a lot to study, so see you around. - Hey, come on, {he pushes him by the shoulder to come in the direction of the garden} you still have like two hours to your class, it's not like you have time to study anything. Let's go to the garden, I have something to tell you." So they go, but Paul is still upset. And as they get by the bench where there's practically no one, Paul asks: "So don't you have like work or something? Studying maybe? - Today I have off. {Paul looks away} I chose to talk to you because we both study psychology, we both go to a shrink, and because you seem a friendly good guy, I could see it from your face. I have this sort of radar, I can spot good people, and that's how I choose my friends. {He stops to think what to say and Paul is still looking away} Okay! Fine! You want me to say it. I like you. And I want to be something more than friends with you. Damn it {Paul looks at him} why should I always be the one who makes the first move? It was me who talked to you back there at the shrink's. If it wasn't for that move we wouldn't be here talking to each other like that. - So... you're gay... too? - {Ryan glares at Paul} No I'm not. I just like guys in a more-than-friends way. And yes, I go to the shrink for this reason too, just like you. But the difference is I don't open up like you that quick. Maybe it's a bad thing. Or maybe a good thing. So... Would you go out with me? Because I'm sure as hell that you like me too. - It's true that confidence is sexy but that is too much confidence. So I'll have to say... yes! {They both have a big grin on their face} But let's take this slow. - As you wish. Maybe we start by adding each other on the internet. - That's a good start {he smiles} Oh my god! Internet! I completely forgot! I must go to that shop to fix my Wi-Fi connection... - Can't this wait? {perplexed tone} - I wish! I thought I'll fix it after my meeting with you but then I remembered that the store closes by 5 and I'll be having class by then... And I really need my Internet tonight... - Okay then... - I'm really sorry... - It's okay let's go. We'll arrange something later. They walked out of the garden with happy faces and Ryan asked Paul: "So what's your full name so I can add you? - Paul McQueen. - Okay. I am Ryan LeBlanc so if I don't add you in a couple of days add me. - Great! See you later. - Ciao!" They kissed on the cheeks and Paul went back to his car, thinking about those sad clown eyes. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Paul started to remember. He felt life was running through his veins again. And then he recalled that this was his dad's second car that he had crashed while rushing to fix his connection. So much for the Wi-Fi. But then, he realized that Ryan has waited for him all this time! Six years! And he always made the first move. So he knew that his life was starting over again. And it was a good start. And just before sleeping, he remembered this song he used to listen to: "If everything was everything but everything is over Everything could be everything if only we were older Guess it's just a silly song about you And how I lost you And your brown eyes"