Date: Tue, 4 Mar 2008 23:54:45 -0800 (PST) From: Jo Jo Subject: The Living Years Chapter 19 "Wherever the Heart Lies" Disclaimer: The following story contains activity that would be considered of homosexual nature between consenting college students. While none of it crosses into a gratuitous nature, if such material is offensive to you or you are not of the legal age to read such material in your area, please do not. Other than that, please enjoy the story! The Living Years Chapter19 "Wherever the Heart Lies" "Howbad?" Shawn asked nervously as Trey entered their dorm room looking utterlydefeated. Treyrested his back against the door and let out a long sigh before starting togive Shawn the news. "Well,thanks to Nick and Jesse, no one's pressing any charges and I'm not expelled,"he started. "That'sgood. That is good right?" "Ofcourse it's good," Trey continued, stalling his next statement as he pushed offof the door and walked over to his bed, peeling off his coat. "Wellthen...what's wrong?" Treyfinished taking off his coat and sat down. He couldn't bring himself to look atShawn. He was too embarrassed with himself. He was supposed to be the model ofperfection in Shawn's eyes. The clean roommate. The smart roommate. The perfectguy. And he'd gotten arrested. It was probably the worst thing he could havedone for himself in the eyes of Shawn and there was no way he could undo it. "Trey...what'swrong?" "I'msuspended," Trey replied. "I can stay here at the school but I can't go toclass the next two weeks. I can't take my finals until winter break." "Don't we all have to leave the campus during winter break?" Shawn asked,feeling slightly confused. "Theresidence halls are closed and so are most of the classes but they still havethat short winter semester. I'll have to attend remedial classes every dayduring the break before I can take my finals before the Spring semesterstarts." Shawnfelt for Trey. The winter term classes only lasted three weeks but that wasbecause they were to be attended daily, including Saturdays, and for four hourseach day. Per class. Which meant that Trey would have to stay somewhere nearbythe campus to go to the classes and would miss out on nearly his entire winterbreak taking classes he didn't need just to take his finals. "Well,it's bad, but you're lucky that's all they're doing. If Nick hadn't told themyou weren't playing lookout and if Jesse hadn't paid your bail..." "I know," Trey replied. "I know all that and it still sucks. I have all A's. Iknow I do. If I don't take those finals, my entire semester-" "But you are taking finals remember? Just not with the rest of us." "Yeah but those make up exams are always harder than the originals because theprofessors have to make a whole separate exam just for those few extra people." Treyknew he didn't really have a right to complain. Even with the story that Nickhad managed to convincingly tell the Dean and the authorities, things stillcould have turned out much worse for him had they not believed him. "Sowhat are you gonna do the next two weeks then?" Shawn asked. Treylet out a sigh as he shrugged. "Idon't know, study, I guess?" he said, not sounding like he had the first clueabout what he was going to do. "Well,I'm just glad that's pretty much done," Shawn said. "I mean, I don't know whatI would've done if you had to stay in jail..." Thatwas when things got silent between them. They both knew why and were bothwondering whether or not the other was going to acknowledge the reason why.Trey didn't want anymore drama in his life. He knew that if he was going to tryto start any of that up again that he'd have to be sure of who he wanted first.The last thing he wanted was for both Shawn and Noah to accuse him of stringingthem along again. "WellI guess this means I need to get your gift early then," Shawn decided to start. Treylooked over at him with a smile. "You'regetting me a gift?" "Yeah,for Christmas. I was gonna send it to you over break but since you're stayinghere now, I have to get creative and pick something early." Treywasn't really sure what to say. He'd never gotten a Christmas gift from someonebefore that wasn't directly related to him. He had no idea that Shawn was eventhe gift giving type. "Idon't even know all the things you like," Shawn said, sounding more like he wasthinking about the words as he said them. "I guess I need to start studying youtoo." "Ido that enough for myself," Trey joked. "But if you really can't think ofanything just don't get me something. I won't be mad." "Trey,I can't not get you a gift. You're my roommate and my friend. What about thatChristmas giving spirit?" "Iwish someone would give some giving spirit to the Dean." Trey mumbled. "Yeah,that'd probably be nice too." Treywasn't sure how Shawn had done it but he'd single-handedly managed to make himfeel a whole lot better about his grim situation. ******************************************************************************* Jessesat at the mini bar he'd had installed in his apartment not really doinganything in particular. There was a magazine with him in it in front of him andthe television was on BBC discussing his father's publishing company reachingan earnings total finally amassing a billion dollars US but he wasn't payingattention to either thing. Hewas however thinking about his father in general. He'dbeen at the university for nearly an entire semester and yet his father hadn'tonce called him, not even to check in to see if he'd made it to America safely.Granted, he knew his father was an extremely busy person and that he wasn'treally one to ever pay much attention to his children but part of him wished hewas a bit more concerned with his life. The only reason he'd even come to theuniversity in the first place was to get his attention, and after nearly fivemonths, that hadn't even worked. Heoriginally felt like Americawould never be home to him. There were too many backwards customs and backwardspeople for him to have to deal with on a constant basis. But he'd started tosettle in and he'd at least tolerated his surroundings. He'd sat up the nightbefore thinking about how comfortable he was starting to feel in America andabout how he wanted to know where his father stood before he allowed himself toeven think about staying permanently. After all, he wasn't one to just give into someone when he was trying to make apoint, even if the person he was trying to make a point to was half responsiblefor bringing him into the world. "Oh,I'm sorry senor Yorkshire. I had no idea youwould be home," Jesse startled back to reality as he heard his house keeper sayas she entered his apartment. "Yes,I've been doing a bit of reflective thinking Elsa," Jesse replied. "Wouldyou like me to come back later?" "No...you'refine," Jesse replied. Hewatched while thinking as Elsa nodded and took off her jacket. She'd brought afew cleaning supplies and had a bag of what he presumed were groceries. Hewasn't really sure what he was thinking as he watched her quietly get to workin the kitchen. Healso wasn't really sure what has prompted him to start speaking to her abouthis problems. "Elsa," he started. "Yessenor Yorkshire?" "Haveyou ever had a problem with someone you just had to have fixed your way?" Jesseasked, not really sure where he was going. Elsaturned around to face Jesse as she started taking the groceries out of the bag. "Whatdo you mean?" "I'mhaving a bit of a long term row with my father. He doesn't notice me and Ithink for the first time in my life, that's a problem for me." "Yourfather shows no emotion for you?" "Morelike he shows no signs of believing he even has children. I come all the way toanother country to a school he'd never want me to go to just to tarnish hisgood name, he wants me to take over the company soon you know? But that'sbeside the point. The point is, I'm here, he's there and he still doesn't seemto care." Elsatook a bag of tomatoes from out of the bag and put them in the refrigeratorbefore stopping what she was doing to walk around from the kitchen over the barwhere Jesse was sitting, taking a seat next to him. "What is it you want from your father?" she asked, sincerely. Jesselooked down. That was the problem, he wasn't sure what he wanted exactly. Hewanted to say attention but he felt it was deeper than that. His father had lethim do whatever he wanted since he was born. He let him have whatever hewanted. He got away with any and everything because he knew that he could. Buthe still managed to stay out of jail and had gotten straight A's in schoolevery year he'd been in school. He was smart and sensible and knew that verywell about himself and yet his father didn't seem to care. It made him wonderwhy'd he'd even decided to have children. "Myparents are divorced. I guess I've been wondering lately if maybe my fatherregrets his decision to have children with my mother. Like my brother and I areconstant reminders of the mistakes he made in marrying her. She did walk awaywith 150 million in the divorce settlement, you know?" Elsaseemed to be processing the information as she thought about how to respond toJesse. "Youhave a lot of thoughts about your father's opinion of you but have you actuallytalked to him about these thoughts?" Jessesat up sharply. "Myfather and I don't speak. That's his fault, not mine." "Well,if you want him to talk with you how do expect him to want to if you don't talkto him?" "He's my father so he should be more on the money. I definitely shouldn't haveto inform him of my feelings." "Howwould he ever know about them?" Jessewasn't liking how Elsa was trying to insinuate that his father's treatment ofhim was somehow partially his fault. Jesse wasn't anyone's father, he didn'thave anyone to take care of but himself and had never had to either. And heknew that even with that he'd still be a better father than his own. "Wellthank you for this nothingness-filled chat Elsa, you've shown me all you'regood for," Jesse replied, standing up. "I think I'll go for a run. That shouldgive you enough time to fix a nice meal, yes?" Elsasighed. "Yes senor Yorkshire." ******************************************************************************* "So,you know how to dance right?" Thatwasn't exactly the first thing Noah wanted to hear from his roommate as heprepared for another day of school that he was completely ready to end for thesemester. "What?" he asked, slightly annoyed as he struggled to wake himself upcompletely. "I'mnot exactly a dancin' fool you know but I'm willing to put on my dancing shoesto go to this winter formal thing." "Formal?"Noah asked, suddenly finding himself a little more awake. "Yeah,it's this thing the Resident Halls are throwing. A formal in the Ark Hallcafeteria since that place is the size of a small third world country." "Whenis it?" Noah asked, standing up. "I don't know, next week I guess," Jeremy replied. "Show me your moves. I havea photographic memory. I'll store em for later use." "Ornot," Noah replied, starting to put on some clean clothes from his closet."Besides, did you even ask to go with someone yet?" "Idon't wanna tip my hand too early. I need to scout em out first, figure outwho'd be the better date." "Andby the time you made up your mind, everyone would already have a date. Is thathow things worked for you in high school Jeremy?" Jeremyfrowned as he turned towards his computer. "Pretty much, yeah." Noahzipped up his jacket. "Ithought that was a high school thing. I never heard of a college having aformal." "It'snot the college, it's the resident halls, there's a difference. Studentsponsored. Besides, sororities and frats have em all the time." "Theydo?" "I think they do, yeah," Jeremy replied. "And who cares, all I know is I wantin." "Didn'tyou tell me that game you play is gonna be down for a couple of days next weekfor maintenance." "Yeah?Why?" "That explains it then," Noah chuckled as he grabbed his backpack. He'dgone from having just woken up, late, to being wide awake and dressed, teethnot brushed and hair not straightened, in less than five minutes. Theidea of the formal excited him and worried him at the same time. All he couldthink about when he heard about it was asking Trey to go with him and finallygetting back to what they'd started. But another part of him didn't want to gethurt again in the process. He wasn't even sure he was ready to start anotherrelationship with Trey but the idea of a formal certainly helped to make hisdecision a lot more complicated. Hismind was almost completely elsewhere before he realized that Jeremy had startedspeaking again. "What?Noah asked, joining reality. "Isaid are you gonna take Trey?" Jeremy asked. I mean, I know you guys like brokeup and everything but it's definitely not cool to go stag to a dance. I shouldknow." Noahthought about it. He wanted to, he knew that much. But whether or not he wasgoing to was another story. "Idon't know," he replied. Ofcourse just saying it was staring to convince him that he actually did knowthat he wanted to go with Trey. He wanted it to happen the more he thoughtabout it and the more he thought about it, the better his mood got. "Idon't know," he repeated. "But I'll figure it out. It's not like this kind ofthing happens all the time right?" "Right,"Jeremy replied suspiciously, noting Noah's sudden great mood. ******************************************************************************* "Everybody'sacting like a bunch of damn fools." Grace spoke, frowning as yet another couplepassed by her as Trey walked her to class. "Why?" "Idon't know but isn't the next holiday Christmas not Valentine's Day?" Treyhad noticed the increase of couples around campus as much as Grace had buthadn't really thought to think about it much. He had his own, bigger problemsto worry about but now that it seemed to be full-blown in his face. "Youknow, this is probably the longest I've gone without a man," Grace said after afew moments of silence between them. "Really?" Trey asked. "Is it bad if none of em are memorable?" "Probably.But at least you get to say you've had them." "Youhad Noah...oh, sorry." "No,it's okay. That was my fault, I fully admit to that. I just wish I didn't feel soawkward about the whole thing." "Yeah, if you didn't maybe we could find you another boyfriend." "Oryou," Trey laughed, nudging Grace. "Whosay's I'm looking?" Grace replied. Thetwo of them continued walking at their slow pace before Grace suddenly grabbedTrey's arm tightly, looking over at something to her right. "Is that boy following us?" she asked, sounding a bit paranoid to Trey. "What?" Gracepointed over in the direction of a Hispanic guy walking alone and didn't seemto be following anyone in Trey's opinion. "Grace-" "I coulda sworn I saw his ass getting on the elevator with us. And then in thecafeteria near us at breakfast." "Whywould you notice something like-" "Youdon't get to call me crazy boy. I know what I'm saying." "Andyou think that kid is following us?" Treywas skeptical. The guy didn't look familiar at all to him, but then again, hehad a lot on his mind and probably wouldn't have remembered seeing his own momhad she served him breakfast in the cafeteria this morning. "See,I can't take you nowhere-" "Boy be quiet and put your arm around my waist," Grace said, semi panicked asshe half glanced in the direction of her supposed stalker. "What?"Trey asked, also feeling panicked all of a sudden. "Don'tstart. You should be glad you get to even see a female since yo ass didn't goto jail." "Yeah, I keep trying not to think about that," Trey replied. "So thanks forbringing it up." Treysighed as Grace flashed him a look that sent chills up and down his spinebefore doing as she so graciously had commanded of him. "Nowact like you love me," she spoke, still sounding a bit panicked. "Forcrying out loud! Grace!" Treyfrowned, annoyed and confused when Grace started laughing loudly as if someonehad just told her something funny. "Grace-" "Boy,you so crazy-" "Okay, I'm going back to my room." "Idone told you, yo ass is walking me to class. Stop messing around and just gowith it." Inthe four months that Trey had known Grace he'd never seen her behave as hystericallyas he was seeing her act now. It actually was starting to worry him a little. "Ishe still following us?" Grace asked after a few moments of silence betweenthem. Treylooked over his shoulder. "Isthere a random guy who just happens to be headed in the same direction as us?Sure." "Don'tplay with me. You know how I feel about that shit." "Grace, you're being REALLY paranoid right now, it's creepy." Treycontinued talking as Grace started up the stairs into the building of herclass. "Comewith me," she spoke. "What?" Trey asked. "I can't. I'm suspended." "Theydon't know that and probably wouldn't care if they did," Grace replied. Treywas tempted to give into his friend but knew her well enough by now to knowthat he needed to stick to his guns when it came to her or she'd feel justcomfortable enough to have him doing any and everything for her. "SorryGrace, I can't," Trey replied, somewhat sadly as Grace frowned at him and thenlooked past him. "Therehe is," she spoke, as the guy she thought had been following her entered thebuilding without giving her so much as a side glance. "Didn't look like he was interested in you to me-" "Didn'tyou say you were leaving?" "Fine.Call me when you get done for today. We'll have lunch." "Wehave lunch together every day, duh." "Justgo inside girl," Trey laughed before placing his hands in his pockets to shieldthem from the cold air as he turned around and started back towards his dorm. Hehad two weeks worth of free time and had no idea how to spend it. The idea ofhaving two weeks of no class made him feel bored of the thought. He likedhaving class because it worked into his well planned schedule that seemed tokeep him busy everyday. He'd settled into a routine. So suddenly having so muchfree time was a bit jarring for him. He'dbarely made it halfway back to his room before he noticed a semi lonely lookingJesse heading down a path that would eventually lead into the one he waswalking down and decided to slow down in order to join him at his side. Jessedidn't seem to notice this happen at first, however, as Trey had to make hispresence known. "Everythingalright Jesse?" Trey asked apprehensively, wondering whether or not he'd regrethis decision to do so. "Oh,made the transition from jailbird to freebird have we?" Jesse asked. "Thanksto you," Trey replied, sincerely. "Well,no thanks necessary. You did me a favor in finally getting rid of my irksomeolder brother. You've left me with plenty of time to focus on the more importantmatters at hand." "Which are?" Trey asked. Jessewas about to respond without even thinking before he realized that he'd longsince come to the conclusion that having friends only ended up being moreproblematic than they were worth. The last thing he wanted to do was involvehimself in any more drama. "Let'snot do this thing where we pretend we're fond of each other," Jesse repliedflatly. "I'd rather not indulge myself in wishes on a whim." Treywasn't even going to pretend that he knew what Jesse was talking about anddecided to change subjects. "Sofinals, you're all set right?" "Ofcourse. I've always found education to be rather elementary in its difficulty." "Idon't get to take mine. Not with you all anyway. But it's better taking them laterthan not at all." "Spokenlike a true man who's seen the other side of those iron bars," Jesse repliednoticing a happy couple pass him. Hewas sick of happy. More specifically he was sick of everyone else being happywhile he'd had to endure crazy roommates, temporarily befriending a homosexual,his lover and their friends and of course his latest misadventures with hisbrother. All of that had left him feeling very much on the jaded side of life. "Correctme if I'm wrong, but I believe Valentine's Day is universally on the 14thof February, not two weeks before Christmas. Right?" "Younoticed all the couples too, huh?" Trey asked. "Hard not to notice when you finally discover the walls in your apartmentaren't quite as sound proof as you'd like them to be." Treydecided not to touch that particular comment as he and Jesse turned a corner,obviously headed in the same direction. "Don'tyou have class or anything?" he asked. "Idon't know," Jesse replied, a bit agitatedly. "Whatdo you mean you don't know?" "Imean there are much more important things going on in my life than this silly littleuniversity and all of its annoying oddities." "Didyou wanna talk about-" "I believe I've spent enough I'm time with you. Attachments won't be good forme if this doesn't end well." Onceagain Trey didn't know how to respond to another of Jesse's comments but itwasn't like he even had the chance to as Jesse started away from him on acompletely separate path leaving him to himself and all his free time. Freetime that he absolutely didn't want but would rather have considering thealternative. ******************************************************************************* Noahhad barely managed to get himself situated and comfortable before Sierra startedtrying to get his attention by blatantly staring at him as he took off hiscoat. "Letme guess, you've actually turned into a psycho," he said. "SoJesse's not here and you decide to replace him? You're lucky you're cute or I'dthink you were an asshole," Sierra replied. Healmost wished she did think of him that way. He could only stand so many peopleand she was definitely not one of those people. "Sowhat then?" he asked when Sierra continued starting at him a whole two minuteslater. "There'sa dance. Well, a formal anyway," she started. "SoI heard," Noah replied flatly, doing his best to sound as if he could care lessone way or the other. "Wannago?" she asked. "Withyou?" Sierradidn't respond and Noah didn't respond. The two stared at each other, Sierradoing her best to look innocent while Noah decided to be the adult of the twoand speak up. "Aren't you into Nick?" Noah tried. Heknew Nick was gone but it was all he could think to come up as he felt himselfpanicking. He'd only barely just admitted to himself that he was gay. He hadbeen willing to lay everything on the line for Trey but considering they wereno longer together, things had changed considerably. Nowhe wasn't so sure of himself or how comfortable he would be having to admit toSierra he wasn't interested in her or any girls. "Ihaven't seen him around," Sierra replied, somewhat disappointedly beforecontinuing. "Besides, that slut Amber got her hooks into him. What was Isupposed to do? I'm not a big fan of sloppy seconds, you know?" "Sure,"Noah replied, trying to get across his unease with the conversation. Heturned somewhat in his seat as if doing that would make Sierra leave him aloneand decide to go elsewhere. But he knew Sierra well enough by now to know thatshe was a person of conviction who didn't let things go easily. "Ididn't get an answer," Sierra spoke, hopefully. Noahturned back to Sierra, ready to make her regret even asking him out. "LookSierra-" "Okay,time for you to talk to someone important," Jesse spoke, taking Noah completelyoff guard as he stood next to Noah on the outside aisle. Sierralooked up and over, glaring at Jesse. "I'm important, you're not. Go away little boy!" "Haven'twe had a talk similar to this in which I informed you that there isn't a thingabout me that's little?" "Wedidn't talk about the size of your brain, but now that you remind me-" "Ihaven't any time for you," Jesse spoke, grabbing Noah and dragging him towardsthe door. "Jesse, what the hell-" "If you're going to be my go-to guy you need to make yourself available at alltimes," Jesse said as he continued to lead Noah towards the door. "And I justso happen to have a problem that needs fixing." "When are you not having problems?" "I'llleave that alone for now," Jesse spoke, turning to face Noah once they wereoutside. "So you seem like a person whose father doesn't love him enough. Whatdo I do to remedy that situation?" Noahstared at Jesse, dumbfounded by his nerve. He wasn't sure why Jesse still managedto shock him at this point but he seemed to find new ways every day. "You know you should really make up your mind," Noah started, crossing his armsand taking a step back. "About?"Jesse asked. "This whole friend thing. You say no but yet here we are." "I told you, I don't need friends. They'll just screw me over in the long run.And we aren't friends. Consider yourself my glorified shrink." "Your free shrink." "If you must. Can we talk about my problem of the week now?" Noahsighed and rolled his eyes as Jesse started. "I don't know why it's taken me 18 years to figure out why my father doesn'tpay me any attention but I've decided it rather bothers me and I want to dosomething about it." "Sowhat do you need me for then?" "Advice.What do you do to get your father's attention?" Noahfelt a bit uncomfortable all of a sudden. Even though Jesse was talking abouthimself and his situation with his father, he couldn't help but to feel like hewas being forced to address his issues with his own father. "Uhh..."he started, not really sure how to tackle the question. Jesselooked behind him and took a seat in one of the hall benches while Noah movedover slightly to face him. "Iwas in the hospital," Jesse started. "And I didn't get so much as a phone call.I've been here almost an entire semester and he hasn't..." "Andthat's a problem or something?" Noah asked, slightly jaded when it came topeople and their parents showing them any attention. Jessestopped and looked over at Noah with a frown. "You'veabsolutely no sense of perception, have you?" Jesse asked as Noah just staredblankly at him. "At any rate, your sheer ineptitude astounds me, no doubt, butI should probably continue before I lose the nerve I've worked up." Noahfrowned at Jesse, who didn't see this as he sat back thinking for a moment.When he didn't speak up, Noah decided to speak up, in an effort to end theirconversation as quickly as possible. "Whydo you think your dad pays more attention to your brother than you?" he asked. Jesselooked up at him, thinking about the question. "Idon't know. I'd always just assumed that he'd been dropped on his head as aninfant and required that extra pinch of attention." "Didn't he just get arrested last week?" Noah asked. Jessenodded in a `yeah. So what?' like fashion before Noah sighed and continued. "Nickis always doing things to get attention because he knows what kind of fatheryou guys have, obviously," Noah replied. "You're the good one...more or less.I mean, you go to school. You get into college. Why would he pay attention toyou when you're doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing?" "You're logic is slanted but it actually makes sense in my case," Jesse said,standing up. "I mean, my father has a billion dollar company to run. An ex wifeconstantly hitting him up for a new divorce check of the month. And a son whoseface we'll all probably see on a World's Most Wanted list soon. Why would hespare any attention for the things that are actually going right in his life? Namely,me." "No, no that's not exactly what I-" "I understand completely what you're implying," Jesee continued, cutting Noahoff. "I have to be worse than my brother. I have to make my father notice me atall costs." "Don't go crazy, Jesse," Noah cut in. Jesseabruptly stopped talking and looked over at Noah. "Whatare you talking about?" "Well, I wasn't really...I mean don't go trying to burn down the school oranything." "Arethere laws against that here?" Jesse asked, completely serious. Noahhad been joking but was now completely and utterly afraid of what he'd down inhelping Jesse, or what Jesse decided to do in helping himself. "You'dbe bloody brilliant if you were even worth it free," Jesse replied. "But fornow, I believe we have class to attend." Thiswas one of those times Noah was rendered speechless. "Betterbring along some carrots for that horse in there. She does have quite the mouthon her." Noahtried to regain his composure as Jesse walked past him, headed for their classfilled with a new resolve. ****************************************************************************** "Ooh,or him," Grace said pointing to another guy in the yearbook she'd brought withher to the cafeteria as Trey and Zoey each leaned over to get a better look."I'll ask him." "You'retoo cute to beg," Zoey replied. "Iknow huh?" Grace replied, turning the page. Treychuckled as he sat back in his seat and looked over his tray of food. "Where'dyou get a yearbook from anyway?" he asked. "Yeah. I mean, this school has like what, a couple dozen of thousands ofstudents? Kinda hard to fit that many people into one book," Zoey spoke up. "Also,when was picture day? Did I miss that or something?" "Ya'llask too many damn questions, shit," Grace replied. "We love you?" Trey tried. "Try, nosy," Grace replied. "Besides, this thing ain't got every damn body init. Just the important people like the Class Presidents and R.A.'s and shit." "My R.A's in that thing? She's a bitch," Zoey commented. "We have class presidents?" Trey asked, curious. "Anyway,"Grace started. "Ya'll gotta figure out who you're gonna take to the formal. IfI ain't going stag, ya'll ain't either." "Don'tforget Grace dearest that I'm the only one among us that actually has a man,"Zoey spoke, rather proud of her statement. "Yeah, that we've never seen," Grace mumbled. Trey chuckled. "What?"Zoey asked. "Huh? What?" Zoeyeyed Grace suspiciously for a few moments as Grace pretended as if she were theperfect little angel before Zoey decided she was over the moment and let it go. "Too bad neither one of us has a stable of men just waiting at our feetpractically dying with anticipation over-" "Okay,okay okay," Trey chuckled, nervously. "And I don't have a stable of guys." "No, just those two," Zoey replied. "What two?" Trey asked, actually sounding panicked. Zoeypointed behind Trey, who turned around not shocked to see Shawn and Noah butshocked to not only see them together, but laughing as if they were the best offriends. Itwas the strangest thing for Trey to behold really, seeing his two best friendswho had actually admitted to him and each other that they didn't like the otheryet the way they were strolling into the cafeteria, you wouldn't be able totell that. Treysat looking confused while Grace and Zoey each exchanged knowing looks as Shawnand Noah approached. "What'sup my peeps?" Shawn spoke, flipping his seat backwards and taking a seat nextto Trey, Noah taking a seat at the head of the table. "Hey guys," Trey replied, trying as best as he could not to let on how confusedhe felt. "Hey,"Noah replied, with a wide smile in Trey's direction. Treytried returning it, but all of sudden felt so strange, he looked away, actuallyletting the confusion show on his face. "Thata high school yearbook or something, Grace?" Shawn asked while twisting the capoff of his Sprite bottle. "People,college's have yearbooks, alright?" Grace replied. "We have a yearbook?" Shawn asked. "Am I in it?" "Why would you be? What do you do?" Zoey asked. Which, as Trey thought about it, seemed like something that Noah would normallysay, who didn't really seem like saying anything at the moment. "Grace is trying to find herself a temporary husband for the formal," Zoeyreplied. "Or glorified play thing, whichever one you think fits." "Seethis is what happens when people don't mind they business," Grace sighed,rolling her eyes. Shawnchuckled before stretching over the table in a comfortable pose. "I heard about that stupid dance thing. I thought you only did that shit inhigh school?" "Theway some of these people up here act, we might as well be. Damn if thoseweren't the worst days of my short life thus far," Zoey shuddered. "You two...have dates yet?" Grace asked, which completely shifted the mood atthe table. Grace was trying to help Trey and knew exactly what she was doing before sheasked the question, not even faltering when Trey flashed her a look to kill. "Gottaweigh my options really," Shawn replied. "It's not everyday a guy gets to go toa shindig like this." "Uh,try seven months ago, prom," Grace replied. "I know ya'll asses went." "ActuallyI didn't," Shawn replied. "Ben got in trouble so I snuck him out to blow thething off. I think we went and saw Kill Bill 2 or something." "Lame,"Zoey commented. "Like you went, Miss Queen of All That is Sarcastic and Plain," Noah teased. "Well I'm not as young as you four. Prom for me was a year and a half ago. ButI remember the thing like it was yesterday. The blood. The screams-" "The so totally Carrie and shut up now," Noah cut Zoey off. "Like your prom was any better," Zoey shot back. "Iwouldn't know. I didn't go," Noah replied. Grace gasped. "No, not you too." "My friends were boycotting the thing. We went to a bar instead. Never caredone way or the other," Noah replied, simply. "Imight as well join the club," Trey decided to add in once he'd finally regainedhimself. "But I just didn't go because I didn't have anyone to go with. I'venever been to any dance, let alone prom." Thingsgrew silent for a moment and everyone looked serious in that moment, as ifremembering the old Trey and how he'd been so afraid of people and socializingin general. He'd come such a long way in their eyes, it was almost like theywere remembering him from years ago, not months. "So,none of ya'll went to prom?" Grace asked, being the first one bold enough tobreak the silence. Shawn,Noah and Trey all exchanged equally serious looks. "That'sweird," Zoey replied. "And I thought I was the one against pointless socialfunctions. Like this formal that none of you have dates for." "Yeah,I'm probably gonna skip this thing," Shawn spoke up, looking over at Noah whosuddenly spoke up as well, breaking the stare he had fixated on Trey. "Yeah, yeah I don't know if I'm going either. Got a lot of finals to study for,you know?" he said, making sure to add what he thought was a confident butreally was a nervous grin at the end. "Youhave the least amount of classes out of all of us," Zoey noted. "Yeahand you never miss a good party, Shawn," Grace also noted. Shawnshrugged. "Guessthere's a first time for everything." "Yeah," Noah replied. Onceagain Trey was confused but had decided against trying to attach any meaningbehind their behavior for fear of further complicating his already complicatedlife. Graceand Zoey exchanged looks again before Grace rolled her eyes and sighed, lookingback down at her yearbook. "Well ya'll can help me pick out a date then," Grace replied. "Some peopleAIN'T living in Dramaland." ****************************************************************************** Jesseknew exactly what he was doing as he marched down the sidewalk leading into thesorority mansion he once called home. In fact, he was enjoying the looks ofshock, wonder and amazement he was sure he was being flashed as he did. Peoplepaying him attention was exactly what he wanted, as he wanted to make sure thathis efforts didn't go unnoticed. "Jesse?"Heather, one of the sorority sisters who he remembered and who in turn seemedto remember him quite well, started, as she followed Jesse into the buildingand towards the stairs, practically rushing along at his steady paced side."Jesse what are you doing here? You know you're not supposed to-" "Tobe here? Yes I'm quite aware of that," he finished for her. "I should probablytell you right now that I've undergone a bit of a transformation and I honestlydon't really care where I'm NOT supposed to be." Heatherswitched to rushing along Jesse's left as he continued proudly along. "Jesseit's after hours. They already know you used to live here. You're probably thelast guy on Earth allowed to ever be here." "Did you not hear my new stance on what I am and am not allowed to do?" Heathergasped, lost for words as Jesse made his way down the hallway towards his oldroom. Severaltimes Heather tried to say something but continued to stay at a loss for words asJesse stood outside Amber's partially open door, ready to barge right in. "Yeah,some guy's dad shot him at a barbeque or something," he could hear Amber'sfriend Stacy saying. "The funny part is the guy looks almost exactly like someguy I used to date. Who, turned gay." "Ihate to say it biotch but maybe it really IS you," he could hear Amber saying."Maybe you do turn straight guys gay. Maybe it's that funky cologne you wear." "Amber,guys wear cologne." "What?No they don't silly..." "Thenwhat's perfume?" Stacy asked, sounding just as confused as her confused friend. Decidinghe'd heard enough of a pointless conversation for now, Jesse walked into theroom, Heather trailing behind him. "Hate to break up this meeting of the half minds," He started. "But I'm here onofficial business." "Ugh!Jesse! What the hell are you doing in here?" Amber asked, sounding flustered. Previously, Amber had been doing her yoga exercises, which she liked to do withas little clothing as possible. She jumped up and rushed into her closet tograb her bathrobe, covering the lingerie-like get up she had on and glared atJesse. "Itried to stop him," Heather spoke, finally managing to find her words, a littletoo late. Amber shook her head as she let out an annoyed sigh. Jessegrinned, obviously quite amused with himself and the entire situation. "Girls, I'll be fine," Amber spoke. "But-" "Heather,just go. Please," Amber spoke. Ittook Heather a moment but she finally started towards the door. "Come on Stacy," she spoke. Stacy turned towards Jesse. "You aren't gay are you Jesse?" she asked. "Of course not," Jesse replied. "Thinking about turning?" "What?" "Stacy!"Heather bellowed. "Call me," Stacy spoke rushing towards and out of the door leaving Amber andJesse alone. Amberturned around and walked over to her mirror to put her hair up. "Why are you here Jesse?" she asked. "See that's the thing, I don't know," Jesse replied. "But what I do know isthat I'm in the mood to create all sorts of unabashed trouble and conspiracyand getting revenge on you seemed to be the perfect place to start." Amber chuckled to herself as she turned to face Jesse. "See,I don't think so," she started. "You tried this before and it didn't work.Plus, it's a little late don't you think? Ever heard the phrase `moving on'?" "Ever heard the phrase crazy psychotic bitch!" Jesse snapped. Amberstared at Jesse as he regained his composure before walking past him and overto her dresser, picking up a bottle of lotion. "Iknow you like to think I'm some stupid, clueless sorority princess," Amberstarted. "Why Amber, I'd never insult princesses the world over by comparing you to oneof them." "But this is so old, I'm over it. You tried to play with fire and you just gotburned. Go home little boy." Jessewasn't quite sure what he was going to do coming to the sorority house otherthan trying to rattle Amber enough to get her in trouble and look like a totalbad boy. That was after all what he was going for now, since apparently onlythe bad people in life were paid attention. Bad people and celebrities. And inAmerica, he was neither apparently. Buthe was starting to remember exactly why Amber had been able to get to himbefore. She may have been right about people mistaking her for a clueless ditz,but at the end of the day, if she wanted to, she could outsmart anyone. And thefact that she could outsmart him pissed him off beyond belief. Something was going to have to be done about her. "Youknow, it's funny that you mention playing with fire," Jesse started. Amber,who was rubbing lotion around her neck and shoulders, stopped and turned aroundto face a devious looking Jesse as he started into the hallway. Amber let herlotion fall to the ground as she rushed after Jesse. "Jesse,what are you doing?" she asked, panicked as she followed him. "Haveyou ever felt what it's like to be homeless, Amber? Because I certainly haveand let me tell you, slumming it with the unwashed of the nation is definitelyNOT the way to go." "You think you can do something to me just because you're here when you're notsupposed to be? They know who you are Jesse. They know you lived her when youweren't supposed to." "Yes and it's a wonder you survived that revelation," Jesse replied. "What doyou think they'll do to you if you happen to fall out again?" Jessehad reached the end of the hall, standing before the very fire alarm that Amberhad pulled on him to get him into trouble months earlier. He looked over at a worried Amber's hands before shaving some of the sparelotion she still hand in them off and rubbing on the fire alarm handle, afterpulling it. "Thanks. I always knew there could be more practical uses for that stuff." Amberlooked around in horror as the lights in the house flashed, loud buzzingsounded and girls came rushing out of their rooms as if the place really wereon fire. Itdidn't take long for one of the sorority heads, Farrah, to come rushing over toAmber and Jesse. Farrah didn't even seem to notice Jesse as she punched in somekind of code next to the fire alarm that shut if off. "Youpull the fire alarm again, Amber?" she asked. "What...but...I..." "It'sokay love, I'm sure they'll go easy on you-" "What the fuck are you doing here?" "Oh," Jesse frowned, wrinkling his nose. "I'd forgotten you were the pottymouth of the group." "Amber..." "Justification with due cause, I assure you, but I actually made Amber pullthat alarm." Farrahlooked over at Jesse as Heather and Stacy made their way through the crowd ofgirls to come to Amber's side. "Why yes, I believe I'm what you'd call a `bad boy'." "You? A bad boy?" "Yesyes. Aren't you going to call the cops? Have me arrested?" Farrahnarrowed her eyes at Jesse for a moment before crossing her arms and sighing. "Actually, we were supposed to do a fire drill before everyone left for breakanyway. I guess nows as good a time as any." "I'm sorry what?" Jesse asked, taken aback. "She basically said she's not calling the cops on you, spaz," Heather spoke up. "Heather,go shave your legs or something," Farrah sighed before announcing to all thegirls that they were to make their way outside to the front lawn. Jessewas completely dumbfounded. He'd wanted to terrify Amber before taking the falland getting arrested, refusing council so that his father would have no choicebut to contact him. He knew his father well enough to know that he definitelyknew there really was such a thing as bad publicity. He'd never let one of hischildren go to prison especially for something as silly as pulling a firealarm. "Wait,tall mouthy one. Maybe you should at least alert campus security-" "Um, this is a fire drill random British boy. That means you too," Farrahreplied. "But..." "Youtoo, Jesse," Amber spoke with a devious grin before starting towards thestairs. Jessewatched as everyone passed him, not really sure what to do. "So...about calling me," Stacy started. ****************************************************************************** Noahhad gone from feeling in a good mood about life to seeing it differently aftera talk with Shawn to feeling nervous about his life all within the span oftwenty four hours. Whenhe'd heard about the formal, his first thoughts would be to get back in therewith Trey. Ask him if he wanted to go and try to re start a relationship withhim. Thenhe talked with Shawn and the two of them decided that they were a couple ofcollege students who didn't really need all the drama they were puttingthemselves through. They'd agreed to call a truce when it came to Trey and thatthey were going to strive for simple lives. Thenhe'd found out that Trey never got to go to his prom. Back when he was popularin high school, the dances were big things to him. He was always Mr. SchoolSpirit and always went to those school events. Then he went through dealing withhis brother changing and all that added extra stuff that basically made iteasier for him to decide that he just didn't care anymore and that he'd be asbig a loser as he could possibly be, just so that he could be left to deal withall the negativity he'd developed. Hechose not to go to his prom by choice, and it hadn't affected him one way orthe other. ButTrey didn't get to choose. No one invited Trey and he knew Trey well enough bynow to know that he hadn't been the kind of person to ask anyone on his own.Trey was a good person, who as far as he was concerned, deserved to go to hisprom. Andnot that this formal had popped up, he had the perfect opportunity to give Treyas best a prom experience as he could possible give him. He really wanted to doit. Sohe had to go against the truce he made with Shawn to ask him about the thing.He just wouldn't be telling Shawn about it. What he didn't know wouldn't hurthim. Itwas the reason why he'd made sure he got up early enough to walk Trey to class.He was gonna ask him then. Or now rather, as he'd knocked on his door and waswaiting for him to answer. "Noah?What...are you doing here?" Shawn asked, looking slightly annoyed to see Noah. "Icame to walk Trey to class. He's here right?" Noah asked. Shawn,who'd only barely opened the door, made no efforts to move away from it to letNoah in. "Yeah but he's in the shower. I'll tell him you stopped by. See ya-" "Actually,"Noah started, after kicking the door open when Shawn started to shut it. "I thinkI'll wait." Theyboth knew exactly what was going on but knew better than to actually speak ofit for admitting succumbing to weakness first. Noahwalked in and took a seat on Trey's neatly made bed, noticing the shower waterrunning. Shawnwalked over to his computer chair and sat down. "Not going to class today?" Noah asked. "Yes actually," Shawn replied, suddenly deciding that he would be going toclass as long as Noah was here to do what he thought he came for. Thevery thing he was already too late for. Beforethey'd gotten along so great after admitting neither one of them would begetting involved with Trey. Now that they both knew all bets were off, thingswere back to being just as awkward between them as they usually were. Fortunatelyfor the both of them, they didn't have to wait long before they heard theshower water stop and saw Trey emerge from the bathroom a few minutes later,fully dressed. "Trey," Noah spoke standing up. Hewasn't sure what it was, but seeing Trey just then almost took his breath away.It was like he was seeing him in a different light, even though he was the sameTrey who'd managed to steal his heart away from him. "Noah,"Trey smiled, surprised to see him. "What are you doing here?" "Walking you to class," Noah replied. "If that's okay?" Treylooked briefly over at Shawn before shaking his head. "Yeah, yeah it's fine," Trey replied. "Good,we'll all go," Shawn spoke standing up. "We?" Noah asked. "You'regoing to class, Shawn?" Trey asked. "Yeah well, finals in two weeks. Gotta get some last minute learning in." "Idon't think it'd help you much," Noah mumbled. Even though they'd both heard him say it, both Trey and Shawn pretended not tohave heard Noah. "Come on, I wanted to talk to you about something and he's not even dressed,"Noah started, leading Trey towards the door. "Oh...okay," Trey started, grabbing his backpack and coat. "No..nowait, gimme a sec," Shawn started, near panicking as he rushed around lookingfor something to wear. "Comeon," Noah whispered, not even really giving Trey a chance to say anythingotherwise as he led him out the door. They stopped for a second before Noah decided something. "You know what? Let's take the stairs," he spoke, wanting to make sure Shawnwouldn't be coming along for their walk. ****************************************************************************** Jessehad done it. He'd picked up the phone to ring his father and then hung up. He'dgona back and forward doing it so many times in his head, thinking about whathe wanted to say and how he wanted to say it. He'deven practiced it over and over in the mirror for the past half hour, trying toget it just right. Nowthat he was actually before his phone, in the moment, all he could do was pickup his phone and hang it up, over and over and over. Washe afraid? That was what he kept wondering as he waited in between each failedattempt to contact his father. Something was holding him back and he wasn'tsure what it was. He'd never realized before that he'd never actually talkedwith his father. He'd talked to him before and his father had certainly talkedto him but he'd never talked WITH him. Hewondered why it always seemed like his father had time for everyone else. Hehad time to talk to his mother's stable of lawyers each week. He had time totalk to his brother's bankers when they informed him that he was maxing out hiscredit cards. He had time to yell at his so called friends for overstayingtheir welcome in his home. And yet, nothing for him. The more he thought about it, the more it upset him and the more he reallywanted to do something about it. Hewas just upset enough to pick up the phone, quickly dial his father's privatenumber and wait with anticipation. "ThomasYorkshire and this better be important whoever this is that has managed to geta hold of my private number," was his father's customary rough greeting. "It's...it'sme father. Jesse." Nowall of a sudden he was nervous but he didn't want to look weak to his father bysuddenly hanging up on him. He couldn't show any signs of weakness or hisfather wouldn't take him seriously. Or, he'd take him even less seriously thanhe already did. "Jesse...whatis it? Have you impregnated some cheeky American barfly and want me to pay forthe child support?" "What?" "I forget, you're not the constant disappointment. No, that would be yourbrother. How is Nicholas these days? I heard he was staying with you." "No,father he left." "Off to the other side of the globe I'd imagine. He'll run me dry with hisquesting each part of the world twice over. You know he almost was kidnapped inBarcelona last fall when some street thug managed to get a hold of his wallet.That one, careless as it is." That was something Jesse had always known about his brother but the last thinghe wanted to talk about was him. "And of course your mother has seen fit to throw another lawsuit someone's way.Getting a hundred million quid in a divorce settlement wasn't enough for thewoman, now she wants everyone else's money. She hasn't put you up to anythinghas she? The woman can be quite devious." "No father I-" "Good good. Of course, you're still at that shoddy little American schoolaren't you? You were supposed to go to Cambridge. Why you'd pass up attendingthe finest university in London-" "Stopit!" Jesse shouted, his last nerve finally being tested. "Well, I see you've rather decided to wake up and be a fool today. You have tobe a fool to shout at me this way." "Maybe that's what I should've been doing all along," Jesse started. "Becausethat's all you do. You complain and you delegate but you don't care. Nothingget's through to you." "I beg your pardon?" "You have TWO sons, father. You mention Nicholas, but you don't bring up thefact that he just got arrested for the fourth time in his life. Or about how healmost fathered that airhead Hilton daughters child. You don't mention any of thosethings. But when you get to me, all you see are those things." For once, Jesse's father was actually listening to him when he talked. "I didn't graduate top of my class, only second. I didn't go to CambridgeUniversity, even though I was accepted into much better schools, all of whichreside here in the U.S.. And what about the time I was in the hospital and almostDIED? I bet you probably didn't even know about that because you were too busyto care!" "Jesse-" "I'm not finished yet!" Jesse barked. His father shut up. "You see father, I've finally realized the kind of people we are. You don'tcare for whatever reason you decide to pick as an excuse-business being theusual. I never cared because I was always getting what I wanted. But I actuallyfound for the first time since coming here what it was like not to get my way.Or what it was like not to have everything in the world. For Christ's sake I'veeven been homeless for a brief period of time." "Whatis it that you want from me, Jesse?" "You'resupposed already know the answer to that, father. I mean, here I am calling youfather when I should really be calling you provider. You gave me money and letme run around. Only I was smart enough not to waste my life completely like mybrother. And I'm not embarrassing you weekly with pointless lawsuits. I'mprobably the only person in your life that doesn't demand constant attentionfrom you and the only person in your life that deserves it more than anyoneelse. And it's about time I get it." Jessewaited for his father to say something and when he didn't Jesse finally spokeup. "Well?" "What,did you expect I'd beg you to come home and play nice?" Jessewas taken aback by his father's tone. "Father...I-" "You're right, you never demanded attention. You always did exactly what youwere supposed to which was why you got everything you wanted. But you neglectedto point out the fact that you were too selfish to realize that I was groomingyou to take over. You had certain expectations to meet and you WERE meetingthem. That is until you turned down Cambridge in favor of some Cowboy's andIndian's school in the Wild West." "Father-" "You want attention from me? Do something to deserve it. Your brother may be adelinquent with no goals in life but he's made it quite clear that he intendsto otherwise enjoy it. I don't think even you know what you want out of life.And until you figure it out, I don't think I want you to come back home." Jessewas at a loss for words. He didn't know how to even begin to soak up his father'scomments and quite frankly, he wasn't sure he wanted to. He knew his father hadhigh expectations of everyone, but it wasn't like he was asking to be hisfather's number one priority. He just wanted him to show a little concern forhis life. And the best he could come up with was that he wasn't sure he knewwhat to do with his life? Of course he wouldn't be sure, never having spentlonger than an hour with him in his entire life. Whodid his father think he was? "Well, I see," Jesse started. "Enjoy the rest of your day and forget I called." It wasn't until he heard the dial tone did he realize that his father hadalready hung up. Andit was then that he realized that he didn't want to go home. At least, notanymore. ****************************************************************************** "Soare you ever gonna bring up what you wanted to talk to me about?" Trey asked asNoah walked him to class. Noahsmiled innocently at Trey. "You think I have a hidden agenda huh?" he asked. "No, just that you said you wanted to talk it's probably important right?" Treyasked. "Right," Noa replied. Hewas a little nervous all of a sudden. Asking Trey to be his date the formalwould essentially be asking to start their relationship again. And even thoughhe was sure it was what he wanted, he was a little afraid to bring it up. Buthe knew that he had to. "Sothe formal, got a date yet?" he decided to just come right out with it. Treylooked down. It took him a few moments but he did respond. "Noah..." "That fast, huh?" "Heasked me this morning. I...told him I'd go. With him." Noahhad a feeling Shawn had asked him already. It was exactly the reason he didn'twant Shawn to be with them when he asked. He wasn't going to be taking no foran answer. Not today. "Look,Trey I know things haven't been great with us," Noah started. "But you have tostumble first before it's smooth sailing right?" "What?" Trey laughed. Noah laughed at his stupid statement before getting serious again. "I'm trying to tell you that I'm here and I want you, more than ever before. Iknow were past all that awkwardness and unsure stuff...I'm trying to tell youthat Shawn's not right for you. And I'm not just saying it because I don't likehim. I'm saying it because it's true and I mean it. I don't care what I have todo to prove to you that I'm the right guy but-" "Yes," Trey suddenly said. Noahstopped abruptly. "What?" he asked, making sure he'd actually heard what he thought he'd heard. "I am past all that awkwardness. I do know what I want now," Trey replied. "Ido want you Noah. Yes." "Yes?" Noah asked, excitedly. "Yes," Trey replied. Noahpulled Trey into an excited hug, hugging him more tightly than he'd ever huggedanyone in his life. He wasn't sure what it was but he'd never felt about anyonethe way he felt about Trey. They were going to be together. They HAD to betogether. "Ohgod, what am I gonna tell Shawn," Trey asked, sounding a little sad at thethought of knowing he'd be letting Shawn down. "Moreimportantly, what am I gonna wear?" Noah asked. "Okay, that's gay," Trey chuckled. "It is, huh?" Noah asked, taking Trey's hand into his own as they continuedtowards class. ****************************************************************************** Yahoo Group featuring advanced chapters of the story and other works by me: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/JoJoPresents-GayFiction/ Personal email: crossingboi2004@yahoo.com Feedback always welcome. Copyright 2007