Anyway, part three is complete and ready for posting. Hopefully it meets with your approval. If you have any comments or questions, please feel free to e-mail me at JustTheStud@hotmail.com. I love hearing from people, even those who think my work sucks. ;)
Wishing you a holiday season is spirited and filled with joy.
~ Radio Rob
As Robert wandered the street, his mind returned back to Chris' apartment and replayed the turn of events. Everything seemed to be going perfectly. Robert was enjoying himself having an opportunity to help such a cute guy, and Chris was learning what he needed to for his class. The two of them seemed to connect, being able to understand each other without the exact words they searched for. So what brought him to go out and kiss Chris? He just could not figure it out. Never before had he allowed himself to even remotely show a part of his hidden self.
Feelings of anger, love, and fear surged through Robert. He enjoyed his time with Chris, but he hated his reaction to him, and was terrified of what would happen if word got out that he was gay. Why did the world have to be this way? Why couldn't the world accept people for who they were without thinking they were some kind of deranged psychopath? People learned to accept others who were different than them based on the color of their skin or their ethnicity, so why couldn't they accept those who had slightly different feelings than themselves? The questions just poured from his soul, but as much as he tried he could not find the answers.
Robert continued walking with tears running down the side of his face. As he made his way through a local park, the beauty it possessed failed to dawn on him. He was experiencing to many painful emotions to even notice. But as he continued to walk, he began noticing a ringing sound. It grew louder and louder as he walked, but still he could not find where it was coming from. Suddenly everything around him was dark.
He continued to hear the ringing sound as he turned his body to find the source of it. That is when he realized he was not in the park, but instead in his bed.
"Was it all a dream?" he asked quietly as he turned and faced the phone.
"Hello?" Robert responded, groggily answering the ringing machine in front of him.
"Bubby!! Thank you so much for the Discman! How did you know I wanted one?!" cried an ecstatic young girl twelve years of age.
"Ashlee?" Robert still was not completely aware of what was happening, but his mind was slowly returning to reality. "I'm glad you like it little sister. Happy birthday."
"Now I can play my N' Sync CD, and my Westlife CD, and I can even play the Backstreet Boys CD Mom just got for me! It's the best present ever!"
Robert chuckled as he listened to his little sister go on and on about how much she loved her gift. "I can't wait to listen to my new Backstreet Boys CD! You know Nick Carter is just so cute don't ya? Right bubby?"
"I'll have to take your word for that Ashlee. You would know better than I would," Robert responded smiling silently. He did not say it aloud, but his sister did have a good choice in men. Robert really did think Nick was cute.
"Well, I will talk to ya later! I need to go find some batteries so I can use this thing! Thank you again bubby!! I love you so much!"
"Talk to ya later sis. Happy birthday, and have fun."
He listened to his sister hang up the phone. As he hung up his end of the line, he sat back down on the bed. His mind returned to the dream he had just expierenced a while earlier. "It really was just a dream, right?" he kept asking himself. "I don't care how I feel about him. I can never tell anyone it would kill me."
He glanced over at the clock and realized that it was almost seven. No use in going back to bed he thought as he realized the alarm clock would go off in about ten minutes. So he gathered his thoughts and what was left of his energy and made his way towards the bathroom for a quick shower. As he cleaned himself his mind once again returned to the dream he had earlier. The feelings he remembered scared him too much. It drove his determination to keep his feelings hidden from anyone else.
After his shower, Robert began getting ready to head to the radio station. At least he did not have to sign on this morning. While he loved radio, he did not like some of his early morning shifts. But in a way, he was honored to have them. The morning shift was one of the most important shifts at many radio stations. That is the point where most people listen when they get up. Listeners depend on him to wake them up, catch them up on any breaking news, and for him to tell them what they should expect to see from the weather.
"What would people think of a gay DJ?" a small voice said in the back of his head. Robert shook his head, and headed out of the door. He was getting sick of thinking about it. "Get over it, it's just a dream," he kept telling himself.
After arriving at the station, he walked into the on-air studio and smiled at the person on before him. It was a ritual at this point of how things went.
"Alrighty she's all yours. Just don't crash her. The boss will be ticked if ya do," the guy said as he picked up the pieces of paper scattered around him.
"Sounds good man! Thanks a bunch," Robert responded as he moved up towards the control board. He signed on the station log and took the transmitter's meter readings. "I just love this B.S. paperwork," he muttered as he finished signing his name on the fourth form.
The counter on the CD player next to him said there was another three minutes left in his song before he needed to talk. As he looked through the log in front of him, he noticed the phone light beginning to flash.
"Hi there! Q104 " he said into the microphone as he hit the Accept Call button.
"Hi ummm I was wondering if I could ask you to play a song for me?" a young man asked in a meek and quiet voice.
"Sure What song would you like to hear?"
"Well I was hoping you could play Jessica Simpson's I Wanna Love You Forever."
"I think I can do that. Is there any reason for that particular song this morning?" Robert questioned as checked to make sure the computer next to him was recording the conversation. After seeing the red flashing light, he began flipping though a log looking to find out where he could find the song.
"Yeah there is actually " the caller sighed "I screwed up last night when someone I really care for told me how he really felt."
Robert stopped looking through the log suddenly and just stared at the speaker in front of him. Did he hear that right?
"So I take it you want to be with this person also then?" the young DJ asked as he quietly switched the song that was ending with another. He would talk on-air later.
"Yes I do "
"OK. I'll do it for you. Who is this?"
"Mike and this is for my Special Prince."
"Thanks Mike. I'll get it on for you." Robert smiled as he ended the conversation. He clicked the rewind button on the telephone-recording computer and began to get the request ready to be played on the air. As he finished cleaning up the call, he realized he wanted to add something to the request. He recued the machine, and began recording. After turning back to the microphone he began speaking again.
"Love certainly can be a blessing for most of the time, but it also has its trials and tribulations. But no matter what happens remember Mike True love is blind. It will be there no matter what happens. Here's Jessica Simpson with I Wanna Love You Forever right here on Q104."
Robert stopped the recorder and finished splicing the recording. He noticed that he needed to hurry if he was going to play the request next. Quickly he looked up the CD the song was on and loaded it into the CD player. As his previous song faded to an end, he began playing the recorded conversation on the air. He waited a few moments and began to mix the requested song in. Just as the conversation ended, the words to song began. The young DJ smiled quietly and just listened to the music play. Maybe things would work out for him after all.
"I wanna love you forever
And this all I'm asking of you
Ten thousand lifetimes together
Is that so much for you to do
Cause from the moment that I saw your face
And felt the fire in you sweet embrace
I swear I knew I gunna love you forever"
The young DJ smiled quietly and just listened to the music play. Maybe things would work out for him after all. He just hoped things worked out for Mike and his friend. Everyone deserved to have someone special in his or her life.
The rest of the day went by quickly for Robert. Between classes and studying, his mind did not have time to return to thinking about his sexuality and what it ment for him. Even though he managed to forget about his problem for most of the day again, it was about to show itself once again. His swimming was next, and he would have to deal with or at least see Chris again.