Loves Given Up On Me I Chapter 1


Disclaimer: this story has a homosexual nature. It is loosely based on real events. Names have been changed, of course. Don't get mad if it starts out slow, I didn't want to rush things.

Loves given up on me part 1: chapter 1- Start Fresh


Ok high school was over and it was my first day of college. Wow, I'm unprepared, but I guess it wouldn't be college if I wasn't. New town, new people, so what? It was time to start over. Thinking back on graduation, I ended pretty sorely. My girlfriend of four years broke up with me after we had gotten our diplomas. Right there in the middle of the celebration. Everyone else getting congratulations and pats on the back, I got dumped. I guess to her I'd been faking my way through high school. She got the impression that I'd been hiding something, and she was right. Ever since I was 16 I'd been, I guess the word is confused, sexually. But I threw it off as something all teenagers go through. Sneaking peeks in the locker room and pretending to shrug off and laugh at jokes you know guys pull in there. But in reality I saw as something that hit a little too close to home. Ok, so I had gay tendencies, but it's not like anyone noticed. I was captain of the wrestling team, on the varsity football team, and on the honor roll. 6'2" 190 lbs. with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. I guess you could say I was the pride of every schoolgirl, but at graduation apparently not to the one that mattered. Ok I was hurt, not at the fact of being dumped, but at my own discreetness. How in the hell did she even figure that I had the slightest interest in guys. Anyways, I guess that goes to show that girls really are more observant.

Well we agreed to still be friends afterwards. That summer she just came right out and asked me if I had any guy crushes yet. I was floored, surprised. She could have at least broken the ice in a more subtle way, maybe with some probing questions or something. But yeah, the point is I came out to her. No, I'm not gay. It's not like I like dance music or listen to Cher. I'd like to say that I keep my options open. Ok, ok, ok I can't make up my mind. But after that experience the teasing never seemed to stop. I felt like the sexually challenged guy that girls always seemed to make friends with. But she was supportive for the few weeks we had left together. I had gotten myself a football scholarship and had to give up most of my summer vacation for practice instead. But she went to Michigan State and I came here to Arizona University. She wished me good luck in love and life and made me promise to call her once id gotten settled in.

Settling in as it turned out was a little tougher than I thought. I was the new guy in a new town, in my opinion, wasting my vacation to play football for a University. I ended up living with a friend of mine I had made during all those years growing up with sports driven parents and going to sports camp. His name was Scott, who was also playing for the school. He was too much of friend to think of him as anything more than that. He was from the city where the university was. Being a little spoiled, his parents let him rent an apartment for the summer so he'd be close to campus during summer practice. I stayed with him and a high school friend of his, Adam, another teammate. But as the school semester neared his parents had a little financial trouble and he ended up moving back home as did Adam. So I ended up having to live in the dorms. I was a little late in applying so I presume that they just stuck me anywhere.
Well that's where I am now, sitting on my bed without sheets or a comforter. All my shit still packed away in my suitcase and duffle bags or in cardboard boxes. Wow, dorm life. So this was it. If I was supposed to be excited about it, I wasn't. I continued to sit there and stare at an empty wall, remembering all the posters I had up when I lived with Scott and Adam. I didn't feel like I missed them, well at least not yet. But I figured I was gonna be alone for the next few days, so I might as well get used to it. I smiled dimly at myself and got up. Well, I hope my roommate was at least cool. I looked at all the stuff I brought with me, well might as well start unpacking. I lifted my suitcase on top of the bed I'd been sitting on, the one closest to the door. I had been the first one here so out of me and my future roommate, I got first dibs. I covered my bed with a sheet and started to unpack my cloths as I heard the door jostle open. I turned quickly to see a short blonde haired kid walked in with a train of luggage hauled behind him. He was a skinny guy, wearing baggy clothes, most likely to hide his hight. He had wire rimmed glasses and shaggy hair. I kind of stood there in spectacle as he gave a confused look. Knowing I was in shock he extended his hand.


Giving my head a few shakes as I forced a smile and extended my hand to greet his.


I could have crushed his hand in an arm wrestle. Compared to him I was Goliath. He seemed less that impressed with me. He gave me a scawking look of distain as he dragged in his suitcases with a little more effort than should have been applied.

"Can I help?"

"No, I can handle myself, thank you very much."

Wow, with an attitude like that I now knew what made up for his size.

"So Terry, uhhhh where you form?"

"If you have to know I'm from Huston."

"Wow, cool, is it all cowboys and indains?"

Trying to lighten the mood, but to no avail. This probably being the most uncomfortable I'd been in a long time. He gave me an `are u stupid' kind of glare.

"Ok I was joking. I'm form Denver Colorado."

"I know where Denver is, and if you don't mind I'd like to unpack in silence."

Ok the attitude defiantly needed work. I tuned back around and continued to unpack. I tried to be nice and look where it got me. I guess I won't be making friends with my roommate after all. Not that I had the slightest intention after what just happened.

Well I finished unpacking and loaded up the stuff I didn't have room for back into boxes and threw them in the closet or under my bed. Terry was also finished unpacking and was hooking up his computer. Knowing the dorm room door had a better attitude than he did I shouldn't have said anything,... but I did.

Walking warily up to his turned back I asked, "Hey, you hungry? If you want we can go check out the food court."

Without even looking up from his work he answered," NO...thanks."

Ok, I was a good Samaritan, I tried to be nice, but if he's gonna be a little bitch about it I'm not gonna say a word. As I walked out closing the door behind me, I wondered why he was being such an ass to me. We barley met and it's not like I offended him in someway. I guess maybe he was expecting someone other than me to be his roommate. I'd have to admit who ever put us two together had to have been over medicated or on some serious shit.

As I made my way out of the building I stopped a realized I had no idea where I was supposed to be going. It was about now that I started to miss being with Scott and Adam. I took another look around and looked at the building across the courtyard. I assumed that was the student union, where the food court had to be. Living with Scott and Adam, we almost never went on campus. It was always from the practice field to straight home. It was 3:00 in the afternoon and the heavy Arizona sun was pounding down on me. I couldn't just stand there. It made it obvious that I was a freshman.

I finally made my way to the building. As I pulled the door open the cool air smacked me in the face, Man, it was hot outside. I guess being from Colorado, I still wasn't used to taking the heat. I walked in as my stomach growled. I hadn't eaten much in the past 24 hours, considering I was on the whole college nervousness phase. So I was eager to fill my stomach with something that would shut it up, at least for now. I stood in the middle of the food court and surveyed the options. Uhhh, Chinese, pizza, McDonalds? I guess there wasn't much of a choice. Either or I was gonna get my freshmen 15. Oh, what the hell, they got a gym here, and besides, coach drills us like the military.

I carried my tray of pizza back to an empty seat and started chowing down. I didn't think I was that hungry until I started. I was on my way for seconds when I stopped myself. On the other hand maybe not. I tossed the plate into the trash can and finished my Mt. dew and tossed the cup in to join. I wasn't too keen on going back to the room for another mind probing conversation with Mr. Congeniality. The building from the outside looked pretty big. I might as well see what else they got in here. Strolling the floor alone I found a barber shop and a convenience store. They weren't kidding when the package said, "complete campus." As I made my way through the building I caught sight of pool tables. As I walked closer I found an arcade. Boy was I glad to see that. I was pretty competitive when it came to videogames. I could hold my own in just about everyone, not to brag. I scanned all the arcade games debating on whether or not I wanted to spend some pocket change. Then I caught eye of `Marvel vs Capcom 2.' Hell yeah, I played this back at the local burger joint at home. Well my friends back home played it more than I did, but I had some skill. Ok, I had my game, now I just needed change. I shoved my hands into my pockets. Crap, all I had were 1 dollar bills.
As I walked back from the cashier I was distraught to find that someone else had already thrown in a quarter and was playing. I thought `ok,' maybe I can challenge him to get him off. I walked over and found the guy a little intriguing than the game itself. He had on a white baseball cap, kinda worn low to hide his face, which also covered semi long black hair. Not long, but unchecked, I guess long enough to manage. He had a dark blue T-shirt on, nothing baggy like my roommate, but a perfect comfortable size, with loose low jeans and what looked like skateboarding shoes. He had the most even caramel skin which covered a solid build. Nothing as big as I was, but in a fight he could definitely hold his own. I'd say 5'9" 170 lbs.

As I got closer I saw a skateboard on the floor with a backpack on top if it. That concluded my assumptions when I saw the shoes. I got even closer and found that he was kicking the computers ass. I'd seen some pretty heavy players but this guy seemed to know all the tricks. I guess my intentions of kicking him off were out of the question. I just stood there watching as he connected one combo after another. He seemed so into the game that I doubt he noticed me there. His lips were slightly parted and his countenance showed that he definitely zoned out the rest of the world. As he finished the boss he let go of the joystick and whipped the sweat form his palms on his jeans.

"Nice game," I said. He looked up and I finally got to see his face and the clearest brown eyes. He had a surprised look on his face, and it was obvious he hadn't known I was 2 feet from him.

"Oh, thanks dude."

He flashed me a smile that showed off a line of brilliant white teeth. He looked down at his feet still smiling. You'd guess he'd never revived a compliment before from the way he reacted.

"You play a lot from the look of it," I complimented.

"Yeah, I punch in a 2 or 3 quarters on my way to class, seems to be the only good game here." He laughed a small laugh, almost a chuckle and I laughed along with him as well. He looked up and asked, "You play?"

"Uhhh, yeah a little, not THAT good, I can beat the boss but on points, I'm thinking I'm not gonna rank."

"Yeah I hear ya, I barely rank. It's all those Asian kids scoring perfects every time."

We chuckled a little and he stuck his hand out. "Ethan," he said, with a relaxed tone. Surprised at his empathy, considering my first greeting of the day didn't turn out so well, I took his hand, "Logan." He had a firm grip, a strong hand and long fingers, a little on the soft side but still firm.

"So, you a freshman too huh?"

"Yeah," I said, looking a little embarrassed. Was it that obvious?

"Yeah I'm new too, but 2 of my friends are sophomores and they kinda showed me around, plus I've been here for a good chuck of the summer."

"Yeah, I'd still kinda don't know my way around."

"Don't worry, give it another week."

With that he turned to the machine again and threw in another quarter.

"So, you gonna challenge me or what?"


"Well that's why you're standing there right?"


I threw in mine and the `versus' screen flashed up. I'd like to say that I won, but that's not how it turned out. At least I did some damage to him.

"Tough luck dude," he said with a mockingly contrite smile. I just shrugged, and watched him finish the game for a second round. When the credits rolled he picked up his backpack and skateboard.

"Well Logan, you practice buddy and I'll see you here again right?" This time he just smiled form the corner of his lips.

"Yeah," I looked at my watch, "3:47 tomorrow then?"

He nodded and slightly turned his cap, "peace out dude."

And with that he was gone. I turned back to the game and added 3 credits to the machine. I made my way through 3 times focusing on the some strategies and combos for our next encounter. Hey, friend or rival, at least I was meeting people.


The wheels on my skateboard sounded against the cracks of the sidewalk as I made my way to the University. God, the sun was a bitch today. It'd be a good idea to get out of the heat and drink something. I stopped at a shaded bus stop bench and took a seat. With my skateboard and my open backpack on my lap I took a swig of semi-warm water. Even in my backpack the heat seemed to turn my ice cold water into lukewarm crap. I took another sip as I noticed the woman sitting next to me grab her purse and give me a fowl look. Yeah, I'm a skater, nothing punk or rebellious, but it was obvious who I was. I wouldn't say loner but I wasn't a team player either, although I still liked to stay active. I guess that's why I liked activities where just I could play; pool, tae kwan do, skateboarding, videogames.

I stood up and dropped my board on concrete. Knowing the woman was still looking at me like a nuisance. I put my backpack back around me, I wasn't a delinquent. I didn't have class for another hour but I want to hit the arcade for some time to myself. So far the week had been hectic. Moving, scheduling, and orientation were not how I liked to spend my time. But I had friends with me, so it made it a little more bearable. 2 of my friends were sophomores, Terrance and Grant. So they pretty much knew what I was going through. My other friend, Jeff and I were the newbies. All 4 of us pitched in for an apartment. Terrance and Grant wanted to move and they ensured us that dorm life sucked.

All four of us had been friends in high school. Terrance and Grant left right afterwards. Jeff had family issues to deal with and I was divided on whether I should go to college or join the military like my brother. So I ended up leaving a year later which was ok by me. I kinda liked the break after high school. But college, I wasn't sure I was ready for what I had in store.

I petty much knew the place already, so I made my way to the arcade. Man this place looked better every time, pool tables surrounded by a mountain of arcade machines. Could life get any better? Hmmm... Maybe add a half-pipe. I walked in, my board in my hand looking for my baby. And there she was, `Marvel vs Capcom 2.' I walked up and got her started. I don't know what happens when I play videogames but everything else around me just seems to melt into the scenery. That is until I'm done and reality come creeping back again to kick me out my world.

As I finished and my high faded I noticed someone to the side of me, slightly out of my peripheral vision, but considering how spaced I was, I was caught off guard when he spoke to me, "Nice game."

I looked up at him, considering he was a little taller than I was, plus I had my cap on. He was a bigger guy, bigger than me that is. I would have bet was a football player in high school, In fact I'd have bet my soul on it. He was defiantly stacked wearing a red t-shirt that hugged his chest and some khaki cargo pants, with some black and blue tennis shoes. His hair was a dark blond, almost brown, tasseled, not combed, but looked like it just dried that way. It was short but still needed a haircut to maintain his quarterback appearance. He had a chiseled jaw and bright blue eyes with the warmest smile I'd seen on a stranger. Handsome in his own right. He had his hands in his pockets and he seemed to be amused at the fact that he caught me by surprise. He seemed nice enough, not like the other football assholes that always seemed to get themselves arrested.

He complimented me on a game well played as I laughed at myself for how stupid I sounded after I responded. I looked back up at him and wondered why he was standing there. I'll admit, you don't see a jock and a skater hanging out very often. But then again we were hardly more than just acquaintances. Just then it hit me, maybe he wants to play. Might as well ask.

"You play?"

"Yeah a little, not THAT good, I can beat the boss, but on points, I'm thinking I'm not gonna rank."

I kinda laughed knowing exactly why and thought might as introduce myself. With my hand extended I looked up at him, "Ethan."

He grabbed my hand with his, "Logan."

Ok, so he was a lot stronger than he looked, and his hand was a lot bigger, well not a lot but definitely bigger and more callused. It was a strong handshake and he looked me in the eyes with a smile on his face. It was friendly and genuine. It was clear that he was a freshman like I was. Who else would make such an approach?

"So you a freshman too, huh?"

He blushed a little as his confident smile went shaky and his eyes left mine and wandered, "Yeah."

Imagining how uncomfortable he looked so I answered, "Yeah, I'm a freshman too, but 2 of my friends are sophomores and they kinda showed me around, plus I've been here for half the summer." Trying not to sound too cocky, but I was one of only a few freshmen that didn't seem to stick out as bad.

"Yeah, I'd still kinda don't know my way around."

The embarrassment in his voice making me edgy. "Don't worry, give it another week." Trying to lift his spirits enough to at lest make us both a little more comfortable. I didn't know what else to say to carry on small talk so I turned to the machine and put another quarter in.

"So, you gonna challenge me or what?" He looked a little stumped as I changed the subject on him.


"Well that's why you're standing there right?"


He stepped up to the machine and added his quarter. I had chosen my usual slaughtering squad. He chose his, a good lineup on his part, well balanced. Maybe he could be a challenge. Well, maybe not. He knew what he was doing, but he just seemed to be a little out of practice. Considering how much practice I had, I easily put him out of his misery. The continue countdown fired up and I looked at him. I was smiling that he at least gave it a try.

"Tough luck dude."

It was clear that it did nothing to shake his ego, but he looked at the screen as my next challenger appeared. I went through the game and finished off as stylish as I could. I guess having someone watching kicks in your instincts to show off. But I was finished and I had 15 minutes to get to my prep class. I quickly grabbed my skateboard and backpack.

"Well Logan, you practice buddy and I'll see you here again right?" He was a good guy, definitely shattered my pervious idea of all jocks being jerks. But then again I still wasn't sure if he was a jock although he did have the look down. But I smiled none the less.

Looking at his watch and we agreed on a rematch the same time tomorrow. I walked out fairly fast, the last thing I needed was to be late. Why did I have to sign up for the weird classes that started a week early? I was still on a high for my victory and wondering about the guy I met, Logan. I guess being a freshman it's all about rebuilding after high school, and part of that were friends. I guess I could make some friends other than the ones I already have. He seemed cool enough, nothing like the guys he reminded me of back in high school. They were all assholes with a capital `A.' Not that they were jerks to me, but I didn't agree with how they treated the rest of the student body. But for the most part they just ignored me and my friends. But Logan already proved me wrong in my prejudgment, might as well be friendly.

After class I made my way back to the apartment a couple blocks away. Everyone else was already there, all in the living room watching sit-coms and making jokes.

"Hey look whose home... FINALLY!" Grant said, speaking over the TV.

"SHUT UP! Unlike some people I don't have the luxury of a car," I replied, jokingly glairing at them. Terrence turned and had his hands on the back of the couch.

"Hey if you need a ride you can just ask us."

"Yeah but your schedules are all different than mine. That's why I got my board." Lifting it up, I stuck my tongue out. Terrance just laughed and returned to watching TV with Grant and Jeff. I walked past the stairs and threw my board and bag on the floor. I shared a room with Terrance so his shit was cluttered all over his side of the room. I walked to the dresser and pulled out a pair of basketball shorts, I was tired. All day unpacking, class and skateboarding had me beat. With that I crawled into bed. It was 8:27 and by 8:30 I was out.


I found myself in the arcade again. This time I was there first. So far I'd been playing for a little over an hour. My first class was in the morning and my afternoon had been cancelled. I wasn't feeing like going to composition anyways. Id rather be here than in the dorm. Terry and I didn't even speak the entire evening, night or morning. What an arrogant little shit. He treated me like I wasn't even there. Anyways the less I saw of him the happier I was, even if I just imagined him to disappear.
I was venting out my anger when the screen flashed to `Here comes a new challenger.' Kinda shocked and a little pissed that I was interrupted I turned my head to see who it was. Ethan stood there adjusting his cap. He then turned and looked at me, "Am I late? 3:45 right?"

He flashed a cheesy smile and turned to the machine and picked out his team. I laughed under my breath, "Nope, right on time."

Biting his lip he said, "Then let's get started."

Either he was holing back or I was getting better. I seemed to be winning, and with a chain combo I beat him. He lowered his head. I could only see from just below the bridge of his nose, but he was smiling.

"Good job, you're learning."

I laughed out loud, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Looking at me and tilting his head a little he said, "Well it's an improvement from last time."

"Yeah I've been practicing. I guess I just needed to warm up a bit."

Biting his lip again and nodding his head he smiled back at me, "ok then, round 2."

We went on for about another hour winning off and on. My confidence started to build up again, until we were both out of change. We both dug into our pockets and pulled out lint. We laughed lightly. I scratched the back of my head chuckling at the humor of the situation.

"You hungry?" Ethan said with his hands still in his pockets, looking like he was still looking for change. Kinda caught by surprise I paused, and then snapping back to reality.

"Yeah, why? Are you?"

"Yeah I'm starving, couldn't run home for lunch."

"Home?" I said. I remembered him saying that he was a freshman. Maybe he was form here and lived with his family. If he was in the dorm he sure as hell wouldn't call it home.

He looked back up at me, "Yeah, I live with my friends in an apartment."

"Oh, cool, so it's like a big sleep over."

He laughed. Showing a big smile and for the first time I looked at him with a little more interest than I should have. I still couldn't see his face completely, but I could tell he was al least handsome. His smile radiated confidence and innocence. It was just plain friendly. His eyes being a coffee brown reflected the light from the machine. And for a moment I just stared. Realizing what was happening I pushed the impulses aside.

"Yeah I guess you could say that," he said, I guess he didn't notice.

A little embarrassed I asked, "So, where were you thinking?"

He turned and looked at the door, "All I got is my board so I guess the food court."

"Sounds good."

We walked in and he looked form side to side wondering where to order form. "Got any suggestions?"

"Me? I'm cool with whatever."

"Ok, Micky dee's it is then."

We walked or trays back to the tables. Ethan sat at a table he picked out. As a matter of fact it was the same place I usually ate at. Well not usually, I just ate lunch there yesterday and this morning's breakfast. But I felt a little more comfortable considering I had a friend to share it with.

"So where you from?" he looked up at me taking a gulp of his large coke.

"Uhh, I'm form Colorado."

"Boulder, Aspen, Denver?"


"Cool, I'm from Vegas," smiling as he said it.

"So I guess you're used to the heat then."

He laughed looking at his tanned arm. I went on, "So are you Mexican, Hawaiian...?"

He smiled back, "I'm half white and half Native American." He said it in an almost prideful tone. I knew all about the Indians in Colorado so I pretty much was well informed. In a more humbled manner I commented, "I'm English and German."

He just smiled; amused at my tone of voice I'm sure. I couldn't help but smile along with him.

"So you here on a scholarship or are you paying your way?"

I took a bite of my burger and swallowed, "football scholarship."

He looked down at his food and chuckled a bit. "I don't know why I asked that, it's kinda obvious." His eyes scrolled down quickly then back up. I laughed, I guess everything about me was obvious."

"And you?"

"I gotta pay but academics did get me a tuition waver." He tilted his head down and raised and eyebrow.


"Soooo, what do you like to do?.... Just a question."

"Oh I like sports, football, snowboarding, and...uhh videogames. You?"

"Skateboarding, Nintendo, life doesn't seem to get much better than that."

I broke out laughing and he shortly fallowed. It was then that I realized that we had finished our meal. He got up, finishing his coke grabbing his tray. As he left for the trash can I got up and did the same. He was still at the trashcan when I got there.

"Well Logan, thanks for taking me up on my invitation. I know being new here is a little tough. So, you make any new friends yet?"

I looked at my feet a little embarrassed, "Umm, not exactly." Thinking back on my how me and my roommate were anything but friends and how I haven't heard a word form Scott or Adam since school started. Yeah, I was lonely.

"Well, tell you what. Why don't we go chill sometime ok? I gotta jet right now, but I guess we both know where to find each other."

I tried not to smile too much, "Yeah, sure."

He stuck out his hand and I shook it as we said good-bye. I stood there as he walked out. Wow, I'm actually making friends. It's not as hard as I thought it would be. Well Ethan was a cool enough, even if we didn't have hardly anything in common. According to my knowledge we still had the arcade. I'll admit that if we were still in high school I doubt we would've even talked to each other. But that's what sucked about high school. It was all about clicks and popularity. This was college, and I had a slight feeling that we were going to become good friends.

I walked out soon after Ethan did. Standing in the courtyard, he wasn't anywhere to be seen. I dug into my pockets and pulled out a wrinkled sheet of folded paper, my class schedule. `Chemistry,' joy. I'd already gone looking for my classes yesterday, so I knew where to go, so no embarrassing encounters of having to ask for directions.

I walked into the science building and up a couple flights of stairs. I found a room sparsely filled with filled with students. Only a few seemed to be talking, others had Mp3 players and gameboys, reading or sleeping. This was definitely a freshmen class. I made my way to the far right of the room and found an empty seat. I sat down, perplexed of how this felt so familiar. Every year in high school wondering who will be in your class and which friends will be there with you, and it was just my luck that Scott and Adam didn't have this class. As of right now my only hope was that Ethan had this class as well. As he was the only person right now that remotely resembled a friendship.

The class began to fill more rapidly and soon almost every seat was filled. A man walked in, I assumed he was the professor. He had an ugly brown suit, thinning brown hair and those stereotypical nerd glasses. He carried a briefcase and walked hastily to the front of the class.

"Good evening, I'm professor McNeilly, and this is Chemistry 180..." His tone was less than enthusiastic as he went on rambling about the class. God, I was board! At this point all I could think about was Ethan's invitation to `chill.' What were we gonna do? I was beginning to feel alone these past few days. I guess having no friends was a little harder than I thought, but Ethan was a friend? Was he? It sure felt like it. I mean we had lunch. But maybe he was just being nice. Besides, why would a skater want to hang with a jock like me anyways?

My attention retuned to the class as the professor mentioned `lab' and `lab partners.' I hated this. I had to pair up with a total stranger. From experience it seemed that we never got along. As the professor finished everyone looked around. I guess they were all as uncomfortable as I was. As class came to an end everyone started packing up their things. I was doing the same when a black haired guy showed up next to my desk.

"Uh hi, I'm Dave"

I looked up to see a good looking older guy, about 25, 26, with jet black hair and green eyes. From my point of view he was definitely getting some serious gym time. He was about as tall as Ethan if not shorter.

"Oh uh, I'm Logan."

"Hey, the teacher mentioned lab partners and I was wondering if we could just pair up to get this over with."

"Yeah, sounds good. I'm not too keen on the idea of partnering up myself."

He smiled weakly at me, "Yeah, it sucks but..." Not finishing his sentence, he shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm sure we'll survive." He smiled and nodded his head.

"Ok then, we'll see you next Thursday then?"


"Ok, later." He walked out leaving me there as the last person to leave.

Well that was easier than I thought. I was stressing about nothing. I quickly packed up my stuff and headed back to the dorm. I had practice in a bit. I had nothing to look forward to back in my room, but I was working on replacements.


I walked out of the Student Union building pretty quickly. I had Tae Kwan Do practice to get to. As I threw my board down on the concrete I began to recap what I had just done. Had I just asked Logan to hang out with me? I kinda just thought for a moment, and then laughed under my breath. He was a cool kid. We didn't have to become best bros, but I'm sure right now he really needed someone to be with, being a loner sucked if you didn't want to be alone. And besides I was being friendly. I kinda held back while we were dueling. A boost of confidence could do him some good. But so far I liked him form the little conversation we had. I don't know, maybe we could hit it off. You can never have too many friends. But what were we going to do? I was so intent on being the good guy that I kinda just let the invite roll right out of my mouth. To be honest I had no idea what we were gonna do. Oh well, I'm a smart kid, I'll think of something. With that in mind I skated off.

`Dojo' the sign read as I walked into the building. The beginners class was just getting finished as their final "Hay-YA" echoed though the room. I sat down on a bench against the wall and opened up my backpack and pulled out my gi (my karate suit). It was black with a red trim. Probably the only article of clothing I liked that my mom had picked out.
It was also sleeveless, not that I wanted to show off my arms, which by the way weren't all that bad to look at. As a matter of fact I was pretty proud of how my arms shaped out. They weren't enormous, but they were big enough and defined enough for me.

I had my gi in hand as I walked back to the restroom/locker-room to change out my pants for my gi bottom. As I was about to leave I peeled off my shirt. Scanning the mirror I got a quick glance at myself. Well defined shoulders, powerful chest, and ripped abs. Nothing to be ashamed of, but I didn't like showing off my body. I had absolutely no hair on my upper body at all, just maybe some armpit growth and the trail of hair that dusted form my belly button down under the elastic of my gi bottom. Hell, I'd date myself. I pondered on that thought as I remembered all the disasters I called relationships I had had. Believe me, I had had my share of girlfriends and I wasn't a virgin. But nothing ever came of it. No matter what I did, I always ended up alone. I'd begun to loose hope that I'd find another person that would make me feel like, this is what I've been waiting for. And I was tired of watching it happen to other people. But I guess if I was patient... God damn it! Stop daydreaming! Who was I kidding? Love wasn't looking for me and I sure as hell had given up on looking for it.

I pulled my gi top over my head and tried my belt around my waist and walked out unto the padded arena. All the kids had left so I began to stretch. I was bent over stretching my hamstrings when someone crashed into me. I was on the ground in a head lock with an arm around my neck and a knuckle in my hair giving me a noogie. I had my eyes squinted yelling in protest.

"You give up?" the other person proposed.

"On a cold day in hell!"

With that I pulled a reversal and I was freed, on my feet with my assailant on his back.

"Well at least I caught you by surprise didn't I?"

I looked at him squinting my right eye, "yeah Chris, I guess you did."

I extended my hand and pulled him up.

"So Chris, What's been up?"

"Nothin' much, surprised that you're here early. You know how Derek gets rubbed wrong when you come in late. And I have to deal with his irritable ass when I get home."

I laughed at his comment and shuffled my feet. Chris or Christian was one of my fellow students in the advanced class I was in. We hit if off pretty well the first day. Since then we'd been good friends. He was also gay, and to make things even better his boyfriend was the class sensei, Derek. They'd been together for quite some time. They actually met here and now they were inseparable. Derek was cool for an older guy, but a little intimidating, considering he was a behemoth of a man with biceps bigger than most people's thighs. But he was a good guy, always looking out for the best for Christian.

In a way I was jealous of Christian. Not that I had a thing for Derek or that I was gay, but the fact that they were happy and that for what they had they'd fight for. I was jealous because I never felt that. And it plagued me.

"So how was school?" Chris asked me as we started our stretch.

"Usual, boring... same thing, new day."

"Come on dude. It can't be that bad? You hook-up yet?"

I busted out laughing, "I've only been here for a month, you kidding?"

Chris shrugged, "Well, me and Derek hooked-up the first day we met."

With that I shut up. Better change the subject, "ANYWAYS, I hear enough about him form you already, anything new?"

"Well the competition is coming up? You thinking of signing up?"

I looked back down at the floor, "I dunno, I still don't think I'm good enough."

He stopped stretching and stood up towering over me as I was still sitting down.

"You've been doing this shit since you were 10 years old, grow some balls and try out!" He kicked me lightly on the leg, "Derek and I already think that you're the choice for the Tae kwan do enrty."

I was about to answer when the door flung open and Derek walked in with his duffle bag, all dressed out and ready to start. As we were stretching the other students had arrived and were stretching as well. Derek stood at the front smiling broadly at Chris and said, "Ok, the competition is coming up and me and Frank have made our choices."

My stomach jumped into my chest as I waited to hear what he had say.


It was finally time for practice. Maybe seeing a few familiar faces would make me feel better. I walked into the locker-room and for the strangest reason all I could think about was Ethan. I stood there alone and naked with only a towel around my waist, staring at my uniform and equipment in my open locker. Why was he on my mind? I have friends that are like me, jocks. I was shaken back by the sound of other people echoing in the tiled locker-room. As the voices got clearer I realized that it was Scott and Adam. They soon came around the corner and stopped to see me half way ready, naked that was.

Scott chuckled at me, I guess me half naked was funny. He was really a nice guy, optimistic and always smiling. He had fiery red hair, shaved like he was in the army, and emerald green eyes. He wasn't quite as big as I was but he was still well muscled. Now on the other hand Adam was a shy guy around other people. He only spoke when spoken to, and quite tranquil except on the field. He was just a bit taller that I was. He had straight medium brown hair and blue eyes like me, and a linebacker to his appearance.

Scott dropped his bag on the bench across form me, "Logan, dude? Why are you here so early?" He opened his locker and waited for an answer as he looked at me.

I sighed and said, "Well my new roommate hates me... it's ok, he's a little shit anyways." I sighed again, "I'd rather be here than back in the room." I turned and started taking my equipment out of my locker.

Scott stopped what he was doing and froze, "Dude that sucks."

"Hey Logan, sorry for not calling bro I ..." I stopped Adam with the start of my own comment.

"Hey, Adam, it's ok. It was kinda fun figuring things out on my own." I smiled to myself knowing the only good or fun thing that happened in the past few days were my couple of run ins with Ethan.

Scott spoke up again, "You know that really sucks that we don't have any classes together."

"Yeah," I said in a poignant voice while I unfolded my uniform tights.

Adam spoke this time trying to lighten my mood, "You know Logan if you told us your schedule we would know where to meet each other between classes."

I pulled my jeans back out of my locker and dug in the pockets and pulled out the folded and abused piece of paper that was my class schedule and tossed it to Adam. He unfolded it and took his time looking it over.

"Dude, we don't even have the same classes."

"Let, me see," Scott said reaching over and snatching it from Adam's hands. He looked it over and then looked back over at me, "Well, we got the same college composition class with the same professor just at different times. Well I dunno if he told you but he said that we could go to any of his other college comp classes if it was more convenient."

I thought back on that class and remembered something like that being said.

"Well I don't know anyone in my class so how about I join yours?" Scott looked at me raising his eyebrow. "And if I have to I'll just ask for a transfer."

Letting out a sigh of relief I said, "Dude, man..."

This time Scott cut me off, "Hey, we gotta stick together right?"

"Well what about me?" Adam asked interrupting.

Me and Scott laughed while he looked at us having a look of being left out. Scott reached around Adam and said, "don't worry we still got practice."

Adam sighed, "So Logan? You make any friends who aren't retards?" gesturing that the retards were them.

I felt stupid mentioning him but I opened my mouth anyways.

"Well there's this one guy..."

End chapter 1- Start Fresh