Love's Given Up On Me 11


Chapter Eleven -- Heaven Must Exist


The place was still the same. It still looked the same, even smelled the same. It wasn't the same though.

I chewed on my stale piece of gum and then sighed as I gently spun the ball of my foot on the newly padded floor. I was all dressed out in my gi, gloves and all as I muted out the sounds of the other students. I let my bangs cover my eyes as I looked down at the mat again and selfishly wished that Chris was still here to tussle with and that Derek was still my sensei. It had only been a few hours since they left.

We'd hugged and said our good-byes at the airport, making them the last two to board the plane. Logan didn't go with me. He had a last minute practice to go to. I can still remember him telling me a million times over that he was sorry he couldn't go with me. It was ok. I had Terrance there to keep me company. Although having Logan there would have made me feel, well, a lot less shitty. There are some things that your friends can't help you with, only your boyfriend. But still, having Terrance there did make me feel better.

"Oh, Ethan, there you are son."

I looked up and over to see the dojo owner Frank standing there with his usual clip board in hand, his arms folded and his glasses falling off the bridge of his nose, his bright green eyes in contrast to his dark hair.

He was old, if you called forty old. But he still had the build of a formidable man. He was the 'owner,' after all, which entailed that he had quite a collection of black belts himself.

"Yeah, you uh... needed me for something?" I asked as I faced him and brushed my hair out of my face.

"Yeah, come on. There's someone I'd like you to meet," he said as he gestured me to follow him.

I put his arm around my shoulder. "So how you feeling?" he asked as he looked at me, smiling softly.

"Okay, I guess," I said as I looked back at the floor as we walked towards his office.

"Yeah, Derek and Chris were my good friends too. It's gonna be hell replacing them... instructor wise."

I nodded my head.

"I'm sorry Ethan. I should've told you that you didn't need to dress out today. I was gonna be 'sensei' for the day but..." Frank shrugged and gave me a sorry look.

"But I do hear you're doing a good job with the kids," he said as we finally reached his office. He opened the door and showed me in. His office was small, but big enough for a guy that owned his own business. He also wasn't the tidiest guy I knew. He had papers scattered all over the place, with books and binders open and everywhere as well.

I'd come to understand that even though it looked like a mess, he knew where everything was. I think the only thing he had in order were the trophies that lined his back wall.

Frank walked behind his desk and took a seat in his big comfy chair, tossing his clip board on his desk. I watched as a guy in a police uniform turned in his seat to look at me. Frank gestured me to sit. I quickly took a seat next to the cop and wondered nervously if this had anything to do with the little fight at the movie theater yesterday. The officer had his cap in his lap as he looked at me with big hazel eyes.

He looked to be in his late 20's or maybe early 30's. His hair was a dark brown, cut short. I guess to add to the whole cop look. Body wise, he was stacked, that's for sure. I guess you had to be if you had a job in law enforcement. He continued to stare, his lips parted as he didn't even blink at me. I looked down at my lap and realized that it didn't bother me now as much, people staring at me. I guess it had something to do with the guy at home who thought I was the best looking guy around.

I looked back at the police officer. He was a good-looking guy. Funny, even if I now considered myself gay, I didn't find myself at all attracted him, even though I should, being gay and all.

"Ethan, this is Troy Preston. Excuse me, Officer Troy Preston. Troy, this one of my best students Ethan Harrison."

"Uhh... hey," Troy said, extending his hand with a big smile.

"Hi," I said, shaking his hand as he just stared at me. Well, this was awkward.

Frank looked at me as Troy finally let my hand go.

"Ethan... as you know, Chris WAS the beginner's instructor and he told me that he asked you to sub for him... uhh..." he flipped through a few papers on his desk, "Saturday."

"Yeah," I said confused, not at all sure if this whole meeting was about my little misdemeanor or not.

"Well..." he said as he pulled a sheet out of a stack of papers and handed it to me, "How would you like a job?"

"Uhhh..." I let one side of my lips curl as I looked at the paper, an employment sheet.

I looked back up at him, "You sure you want me teaching Frank?"

"Sure. Why not? You're advanced enough," he said as he rocked back in his seat.

I smiled again, "Yeah. That'd be great?"

"Okay then, just fill that out and then fill this out," he handed me another piece of paper. It looked like something to do with taxes.

"Well, I guess you're wondering why I got a cop here." Frank finally said as I looked up at him and then over at Troy, smiling at me nervously.

"Well Troy, go ahead and introduce yourself," Frank said as he put his elbows on his desk. His fingertips touching to form a steeple as he pressed them to his lips.

Troy laughed timidly as he looked down, fiddling with his cap.

"I'm Troy... Preston," he said as he looked up at me and smiled.

"Yeah. I know."

"Oh... yeah, YEAH... uhh... sorry. I uhh... I'm here for the advanced instructor's position."

I felt a wave of relief. I guess if the cops hadn't confronted me about the fight yet then I guess no one really did care. But the advanced instructor's position? Was he replacing Derek?

"Well Ethan, you do need an instructor right?" Frank asked, practically leaning over his desk, "And Troy is the best man for the job."

He looked over at Troy and beamed. Troy seemed a little embarrassed at Frank's praises, continuing to smile timidly and fiddle with his cap.

"Well..." Troy said as he looked up at Frank and then at me, "I think my break is over so I better get back to the station. It was nice meetin' ya Frank, and uhh... thanks a ton for the job."

He got up out of his seat, still messing with his cap, "Uhhh..."

I looked up at him, "... Ethan... it was great meeting you too... uhh... I guess I'll see you next class then?"

"Yeah," I said as casually as I could. He smiled and put his cap on and waved once again at Frank as he walked out the door.

"Well," Frank said as he picked up his clipboard again, "He seemed a little bit more collected before you showed up."

Frank gave me a sly smile and looked back at his paperwork. Did he know something? Well, if he did he wasn't making a big deal of it, one less problem for me then.

"Well, if you wanna go home Ethan, you can."

"So no class today then." I said as a statement rather than a question.

"Nope." Frank said as he looked up from his desk.

I got up out of the seat and hooked my thumbs in my karate belt, "Thanks Frank, I'll see ya later then."

Frank smiled at me and nodded as I turned and walked out the door. Yeah, maybe I need to get out of here... maybe just for a little while. This place still reminded me way too much of Chris and Derek, like they hadn't even left. Like maybe they were just running late.

I stepped out of the locker/bathroom with my backpack around my shoulders and my skateboard in hand, all dressed in my street clothes. The only thing not casual being the jock I was still wearing underneath it all. I stopped just outside the door. I put on my cap and smiled.

On the other hand, I finally did get a job. I guess now I didn't have to mooch entirely off my parents. But what was I gonna do for two hours? I threw my board on the sidewalk and pulled my MP3 player out of my pocket. I let the heavy guitar clear my mind as I turned up the volume. Every thought cleared away except for one that is. Logan.

I spit my piece of chewing gum into the street as I pulled my cell phone from my pants pocket. Wait, he's still in practice. I closed the phone and slipped it back in my jeans. I'd better call him when he's done. I doubt he's got his phone on him while he's out on the field getting sacked left and right. I guess in the mean time I could just go home and tell the guys about my employment while I waited.


I was one of the first players out on the practice field. This was odd. I'm never early. Usually on time and sometimes late. I looked up at the sky as I heard a plane come in for landing. I looked back down at the grass. I felt bad making Ethan go to the airport without me. But it's not like I could have gotten out of a last minute practice. I felt guilty. I mean I did promised Chris, Derek AND Ethan that I'd be there. So much for me keeping my word. Some boyfriend I'm turning out to be.

I kicked at the grass and held my helmet as I stared at the 'A' pasted on it, the University logo. I took a deep sigh. As for right now, I felt something bigger than the guilt. When I start playing next year, everyone's gonna know who I am. I'm gonna be known as the big gay quarterback. I looked around at the sparsely filled field. Shit... how is this gonna work out?

"Hey Logan."

I looked over, not surprised to find Scott next me. I didn't smile at him. I just looked back at my helmet.

"Dude. What's buggin' ya?"

I shuffled my feet and shook my head. I knew I wanted to tell him, but I don't know why I was so hesitant. He stared at me as he waited for me to say something.

"I... I... think everyone knows about me and Ethan."

He folded his arms, "How exactly?"

"We had a little confrontation at the theater yesterday... and things just kinda spilled out." I said as looked back down at my helmet, my voice going worried.

Scott started to snicker, which then turned into a barely containable laughter.

I dropped my hands, my helmet swinging at my side. Could he be this insensitive? I'm going through hell and all he could do was laugh.

"Great. Just laugh." I said sarcastically as he shook his head.

"No dude. I'm sorry..." he said as he continued laughing, "But that was you and Ethan at the theater?"


Scott already knew?

For sure the whole football team knew by now.

"Yeah, that was us." I said with a tone that told him that he could stop laughing right about now

"I'm sorry but... I heard that it was something like over-sized bikers... or..."


"Yeah, I never would have thought it was you and especially not Ethan," Scott said as he looked at the grass in front of him, "I really just heard there was a fight."

"Nothing else?" I asked, curious to know if he had heard other details.

"No. That's all I heard." he said, forcing me to be satisfied with his answer.

I guess I didn't take into account the element of exaggeration. Just then I felt a nudge as Adam stood on the other side of me.

"And where the hell have you been?" Scott said as Adam's face went nervous.

"Uhh... around..." Adam muttered.

Scott shut his eyes as he shook his head, his fingers on his forehead.

"Anyways, you hear anything about a fight at the theater yesterday?" Scott asked Adam as I looked at Scott, my face asking him, "What the hell are you doing?"

Adam froze as he thought, "Nope... I didn't hear anything."

Scott looked back at me and shrugged his shoulders. I was confused. Did everyone just forget about me, Ethan, the kiss? I guess the news of a fight is a bit more exciting than just hearing about two guys making out on. I felt somewhat relived as I stood there and let Scott and Adam stare at me.

"Should I have heard about it?" Adam asked, wondering if something was wrong.

"No. Just checking." Scott said, closing the conversation.

Adam gave us a look that spelled, 'sorry for asking.'

Relief washed into my mind as I told myself, "See? Nothin' to worry about." I guess I should relax and just be happy that everything seemed to work itself out, in its own weird inexplicable way.

"So tell me Adam, lately... why do always smell like a tub of Clorox?" Scott asked as he sniffed at Adam, wrinkling his nose.

"Just... been at the pool... that's all," Adam said timidly.

"Well, must be your second home cause you smell like Mr. Clean." Scott said as we walked over to join the rest of the team to start practice.

"Do I?" Adam asked as he sniffed himself.

I chuckled at the both of them. Adam did reek of chorine. But I wonder? What was a football player doing swimming when he was supposed to be using the gym? Ulterior motive maybe? Had to be. There's no way I would be killing myself at the gym and then want to go swim laps. I wonder.

We regrouped around Coach Randall as I put my helmet on and smiled for once. One more game to go and season's over. I couldn't wait. After it's all over, I can finally be with Ethan and truly have nothing to worry about.


I dragged myself up the apartment steps until I reached the front door. Fuck! For late November it sure was hot. I opened the door as the cool air welcomed me inside. I noticed Jeff at the table hacking away on his computer; looking up porn no doubt.

Terrance looked busy cooking himself a grilled cheese sandwich, the faint smell of cheese and butter in the air. Grant had himself planted on the couch watching some 80's Bruce Willis movie, "Die Hard" from the scenes I saw. I wonder if he knew that Logan and I defiled that couch not too long ago.

"Look whose home early." Terrance said as he opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of apple juice.

Grant and Jeff looked in my direction and smiled.

"Hey guy, no Karate class today?" Jeff said closing his laptop as Terrance stood behind him and took a bite of his overly cheesy sandwich, the melted mess dripping out of the bread.

"Uh... no, not today," I said as I took my cap off, cooling my head.

"Well you're happy nonetheless." Terrance said as he sipped his juice.

"Yeah I guess... I'm still kinda bummed that Derek and Chris left."

Terrance nodded, remembering that I had said my good-byes just hours ago.

I looked up at them and smiled again, "But on the bight side, Frank did give me a job."

"No Shit! You serious?" Terrance said, almost choking on his apple juice.

Jeff laughed as Grant turned around and asked, "Hey Kicks, what happened?"

"He got a job at that karate school he trains at," Jeff said as he looked over at Grant.

"Dojo." I said correcting him; still not at all sure how to feel about finally having a job. I guess now I can finally spoil myself a bit.

"Dude, that's awesome," Terrance said as he dropped his sandwich on a paper plate on the table, "I got it. Let's go out to eat. You know? Celebrate."

I gave him a look that asked, "Are you sure?" Jeff and Grant's faces lit up.

"Oh come on Kicks. We'll pay," Jeff and Grant pleaded as I smiled and finally nodded at them, agreeing reluctantly.

"Just call up that man of yours and tell him to meet us at the restaurant," Grant said as he started putting his shoes back on.

"Yeah, you can invite Liz and Scott too. We still haven't met them." Terrance said as he went looking for his keys. I sighed and shook my head at all of them; Jeff finishing off Terrance's sandwich and Grant still putting on his shoes as Terrance went throwing the cushions off the couch hunting for his keys.

This should be fun.

I dropped my board by the door and pulled my phone from my pocket. 6:07. I brought my phone to my mouth and lightly began to nibble on the antenna. Maybe Logan's done with practice now.


I was glad practice was over. It was the last one, and besides, it was too hot a day to be outside anyways. I took my helmet off and ran my fingers through my short damp hair as I slowly walked towards the locker-room. I felt sweaty and tired as I just felt like relaxing under the spray of a cool shower.

"I'll bet you're glad it's all over right?" Scott said as he jogged up beside me, taking off his helmet off as well.

"Yeah. Finally." I said as we opened the locker-room double doors, Adam following quickly behind us.

"Hey guys, wait up." he shouted, making us freeze and watch him catch up.

Once inside I snapped open my locker and threw my helmet inside, clashing against the metal as I slowly began to undressed. I threw all my padding off almost all at once, happy that I only had to wear them one more time.

"Dude?" Scott said, his countenance asking what my problem was.

"I... I'm just tired," I said looking at him and then at the contents of my locker, "I'm just tired of practice. Practice, practice and more practice," I scoffed, "So far I've been second string and never been on the field once this season."

"Well, just think of it like this. Next year Racker's gone, so that means you'll be first string quarterback." Scott said as he finally got naked and wrapped a towel around his waist.

He walked up to me and whispered, "And why are you bitching? You got one of the most good lookin' guys for a boyfriend. That should make up for everything else, right?"

I smiled and pushed him playfully towards the shower. He chuckled as he took a few steps back, "Come on, be happy dude?"

I nodded and laughed as he smiled back and disappeared into the noise of voices and running water coming from the shower.

I guess I should cheer up. No one seemed to care about what happened at the theater, much less about me. As I finished thinking, I found myself in only my jock, staring at my neatly hung towel. Just then I heard a familiar muffled sound, my cell phone. I quickly shook my head and dove into my street clothes, yanking out my pants and digging into my pockets.

"Hey hottie," I said happily, waiting to hear that only voice that mattered.

"Hey Logan," Ethan said as I could also hear what sounded like Grant and Jeff fighting in the background and Terrance yelling at both of them.

"You answered the phone, so I guess you're out of practice." He said, his voice telling me he was smiling.

"Yep, it's all over." I said as I stood in the middle of the locker-room, all alone and smiling like an idiot.

"Well, I kinda got a surprise for ya. Uhh... Frank offered me a job teaching at the dojo..."

I laughed into the phone, "Ethan, that's great."

"Yeah, I know and uhh... me and the guys are gonna go out and eat and..."

"You want me to meet you there," I said finishing his sentence.

I heard him chuckle, "Yeah... I know, it's just... a guy kinda wants his boyfriend there, big day and all." he said timidly into the phone. I laughed as I heard the guys making remarks and then Ethan telling them to shut up.

"Okay. Just tell me when and where."

I jotted everything as best I could to memory.

"Oh and invite Scott and Liz too, okay?"

"Yeah, I will," I said as I started to pull my clothes out from my locker, "And... I'm happy for you. I know how much you love that place."

"Thanks babe," he said, making me beam, "Gotta go but... love you."

If it were possible, my smile got bigger, "I love you too, bye."

I clicked my phone off after he hung up. Just then Scott appeared and then Adam, their hair still dripping while holding their towels around their waists. I stood there in only my jock as they stared at me.

"Sooo... you gonna shower man?" Adam asked as he walked passed Scott and opened his locker.

"Uhh... I think I'll shower when I get back to the dorm room." I said as I picked up my jeans and slid each leg into them.

"Oh, Scott umm.... Ethan and I are gonna go umm... get something to eat. He wanted to know if you and Liz wanted to tag along."

Scott dropped his towel as I gave him a look that implied there was more to it but with Adam around I didn't want to say too much. Adam looked at both of us confused as he stopped dressing.

"Something going on?" he asked as he buttoned his shorts.

I pulled my shirt over my head as Scott pulled his boxers up, finally covering his ample package.

"Just somethin' to eat," I said as I tried to sound like it was really nothing.

"Okay. I won't come." Adam said as he pulled his shoes on quickly, forgetting about putting on his socks. Still shirtless he grabbed his backpack and his shirt. Without saying anything he marched passed us and pulled his shirt on as he turned the corner and was gone.

"Adam?" Scott said, but getting no response.

"Fuck," I said to myself as I sat down on the long bench in front of my locker, listening to the front doors close.

"It sucks not telling him." I said as I looked up at Scott.

He pulled his pants on and took a seat next to me, "Dude, you don't know how he's gonna react. I mean I still haven't told him about my parents."

I looked up at him as I slouched on my knees, "Do you think he'll still wanna be friends with me?"

Scott shrugged his shoulders. I let my head fall as I looked back at the concrete floor.

"Don't worry I'll talk to him. Let him know that it's not about him."

"Thanks man." I said as Scott clasped his hand on my shoulder.

"And tell Ethan, me and Liz will be there."

"Okay." I said smiling half heartedly.

Scott went back to getting dressed as I put my shoes on and grabbed my bag. I walked out of the locker-room and headed towards my dorm building, thinking, 'Adam, I hope you're ready for what I have to say.'


The four of us took a seat at the end of a long table in the back of a dimly lit local Italian restaurant.

"Hey, you can't sit there, that's the boy toy's seat." Terrance said as Grant got up and moved to my left.

I guess I had to sit on the end, Grant, Jeff and then Terrance sitting to the left of me. We had asked the host for a big table in the back. And what he gave us was perfect.

"So what do you think?" Grant asked as he eyed our surroundings.

The place was quaint but not small. The smell of herbs and fresh baked bread filled the room, reminding me of Garrett's home cooking.

"I like it." I said as I picked up the menu in front of me.

"I know what up mean," I heard Grant say as I looked over at him, licking his lips and staring at something completely different. I looked to see what he was staring at. Or should I say 'someone' he was staring at.

"Um... we're here to eat food... not the service," I said as I looked back at the menu while Jeff laughed lightly, Terrance shaking his head and smiling.

"Okay cowboy, come on," Jeff said to Grant as he got up, "I gotta piss and I know you wanna get up close, if not talk, to the waiter."

Grant smacked the table with his hands as he quickly got up, "Right behind ya," he said as Jeff led the way.

"They're never gonna settle down." Terrance said as he folded his arms and sat back into his seat.

"Never." I said as I closed the menu, finally decided on what I wanted, "How 'bout you?"

"Me?" Terrance asked, obviously amused by my question.

"Yeah." I said as the bus boy arrived with water for seven people.

"You know... boyfriend maybe." I said.

"Hey, just because you got a man doesn't mean the rest of us have to fall in line." he argued as he took a long sip of his water.

I put my hands up in mock surrender, "Just askin'... I mean you used to date a lot and now..."

I didn't finish. He knew what I was saying. He looked up at the darkened ceiling, "I dunno... just don't feel like it."

He rubbed his index finger around the rim of his water glass. He took a sharp breath, "Plus... there's this guy."

Intrigued, I sat up straight, putting my elbows on the table and leaning forward, "And...?"

"Well I always see him at the pool, and at first I thought he was... I dunno, stalking me. Well... maybe not stalking but... you know..."

I shook my head slowly. I didn't know.

"Anyways, he didn't scare me. I just kinda got a little weirded out."

"And by any chance would you know his name?" I asked.

"Every time either of us approaches one other it's like... we have nothing to say."

I sat back, "Well what does 'Mr. Pool-stalker' look like exactly? No wait, I take that back. I think I do know what he looks like. Umm... I'm seeing brown hair with a lethal dose of blue eyes, tall.... maybe well built. Am I right?"

Terrance just smiled as he looked back down at his water. I was dead on. Just then I heard the familiar sound of Grant and Jeff arguing about which was better, Metallica or Slayer. They took their seats and continued their heated debate as I just looked at Terrance and shook my head in disbelief.


I smelled, but not that bad, I didn't exactly stink just yet. I snorted as I walked hastily down the hall of my dorm building, surprised to find my dorm room door open. I walked in and found Terry standing over his bed stuffing clothes into an overnight bag.

"Hey dude." I said casually as I walked in and shut the door.

"Hey." he said as he focused back on packing.

"Sooo... where ya headed?" I asked as I flung my backpack onto my bed.

"Just out, be gone all night." he said, not even looking up at me to say it.

I didn't even care anymore. I'd learned a long time ago to just let it go. If he wants to talk to me, he'll talk to me.

I nodded my head and walked to my dresser, looking for a clean towel. The next thing I heard was the door opening. I guess while I was turned he walked out. I looked back only to see the door slowly shutting and then finally close.

'Whatever,' I told myself as I finally pulled out a towel. I was about to pull my t-shirt off when I heard a slow knock at the door. I pulled my shirt back over my torso as I walked over and without seeing who it was, opened the door. I stood surprised to find Adam there, his hands in his pockets, dressed exactly the way he was when he stormed out of the locker room. He looked up at me and took a deep breath. Before he could say anything I motioned for him to come in. He sat on Terry's bed as I took a seat on mine. He rubbed his hands as he avoided my eyes.

He opened his mouth as the words came slow, "Logan, I'm sorry for what happened."

I nodded my head and looked at my lap, "No, you shouldn't be sorry. I'm the one that should be telling you that."

He nodded in my direction as he looked down at his feet, "I'll admit I was mad. It's just I've seen how close you and Scott have gotten in the past few weeks... and I guess... I'm just tired of being left out."

"Yeah," I said I rubbed the back of my head uncomfortably, "There's a reason for that."

He finally looked up at me, his stare piercing as I felt my chest sink into my stomach. My heart rate jumped as I felt my fingers and toes go numb. Will this ever get easier?

"Logan... I ahh... I'm just gonna say this," he said as he looked me square in the eyes, "I overheard Scott and Liz talking and... It was about you and Ethan," his eyes looking away as he finished his statement.

I didn't know what to feel. I felt a lot of things but nothing I could put my finger on. I just looked at him expressionless as I think I just sat there in stupor.

I was guessing Adam thought I was angry in some way as he said, "It's not their fault, Logan. They didn't know I was there, I didn't mean to..."

And then just out of the blue, without really thinking it through, I said, "Yeah, Adam. I'm gay and... Ethan's my boyfriend."

He sat there and smiled weakly at me as I nervously smiled back, hoping it would somehow lighten the mood.

"Uhh.... secrets safe with me," he said as he bit his lip, "So that why you didn't want to hang out with me?"

Well he's taking this surprisingly well.

"Yeah," I said shamefully, "I thought that maybe you'd probably hate me or some shit like that."

Adam smiled as he looked down at his hands, "If I did hate you, that'd only make me a hypocrite."

I looked up at him as he looked at me, brave but then again nervous. Hypocrite? I gave him a questioning look, "Wait... are you...?"

Adam smiled to himself and nodded, "Gay? Yeah." he said in a small voice.

"No fucking way," I said as I sat back, closing my eyes and smiling, relieved. I guess in reality I'm not really as alone as I thought I was. Now I knew one of my good friends knew exactly what it felt like.

"So I guess I'm not the ignorant asshole you and Scott think I am," Adam said as he laughed to himself.

"So that's what this is all about." I said after I rubbed my face in my palms.

"Well that's half of the reason why I came over," he said, letting the timid side of himself show through again. I sat forward. Leaning towards him, letting him knew I was giving him all my attention.

He exhaled sharply, "I kinda like someone," he held his breath, "Okay. I really like someone."

I smiled a nodded, "Okay."

"And I know that you're with Ethan..."

"Whoa hold up..." I stopped him, confused. No fucking way in hell was this about Ethan. I looked at him as I tried to hide the instantaneous jealousy behind a serious face.

He laughed and shut his eyes, "Don't worry Logan, I'm not here to take him from you... although when I first saw him..."

I think he saw my eyes sneer a bit, "Yeah, I've come to terms with the fact that he only has eyes for you."

I looked at him relaxingly surprised. Glad that I no longer felt threatened.

He smiled back at me, reassuringly, "He's YOUR boyfriend, but... he's got a friend... that... I like... that I like a lot. I mean, when I saw Ethan, yeah, I thought he was hot, but it was pure lust. But when I see this other guy, it's like... I dunno. I see a whole lot more. Like my whole life just suddenly comes into focus."

I brought my fingers to my lips, pinching them as I looked back up at him and asked, "So where'd you meet this friend of Ethan's?"

"I saw him around campus a lot, he never noticed me. But I noticed that he went to the pool a lot."

"So that's why you smell like chorine all the time?" I smiled as I asked.

He chuckled back at me, "I go right before practice, because... he's always there. I mean, I get up the courage to walk up to him but, that's as far as I can get. Once I look at him and he looks at me, my mind goes blank. I can't even remember my own name when I'm around him. Usually he smiles at me and then continues with his laps."

He looked back at his hands in his lap, his voice and face fading in discouragement.

"I don't even know if he's even into to guys... let alone, if he's even interested in me. I feel like a total idiot but, at least he notices me now."

"Terrance." I said, making him look up at me.

"What?" he asked confused.

"That's his name." I said as I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees and bring my hand to a fist against my lips.

"Terrance," Adam said to himself as his face brightened slowly.

"I think you have a better chance than you think." I said, smiling through my fingers.

"Really?" he asked as I noticed the new enthusiasm.

"Yeah, why don't you come with us?" I said as I got back to my feet.

"Huh?" he looked at me with a humorous mixer of fear and confusion.

I laughed lightly as him, "Yeah, dinner. Scott and Liz will be there, me and Ethan... and Terrance."

"I... I dunno what if he's not gay and I make a total fuck up of myself?" he said as he let his weight fall entirely back into Terry's bed. He was scared, no doubt about it.

I laughed, "He's gay Adam, trust me."

"Okay then." he said as he slowly stood up and nervously smiled at me, "Then I guess I should've taken advantage of him when I had the chance."

I scrunched my eyebrows at him quizzically, "When was this?"

He laughed. He seemed a little hesitant to tell me, "He was at this keg party and seeing how he was drunk... and I had had maybe two beers... I... I got a little brave and talked to him."

This somehow felt familiar. His laugh became more nervous, "He ah... he blacked out and I ended up taking him home. His two friends that he came with ended up hookin' up with a couple of guys and going home with them. So I took his keys and drove him back to his apartment. I'm surprised I understood him with all that alcohol in him, giving me directions."

I felt that creepy tingle down my spine as I listened to him.

"When I got to his place, his roommate was up so I just kinda left him there."

No fucking way!!! That was Adam who was at the apartment. It was Adam who Ethan said brought Terrance home after the keg party.

"You were at Ethan's apartment." I stated to him, complete shock in my voice as well as on my face. He stopped his story and looked at me funny.


"Yeah, I was in the bedroom. Ethan heard the door open and said a guy brought Terrance home but he didn't see his face. He set him down on the couch, left Terrance's keys on the table and left."

Adam let out a sharp exhale as he rubbed the back of his head uncomfortably, "No way dude."

I laughed which in turn mad him laugh. My fuckin' god, it was a small world. I swung my arm around his neck and looked at him and laughed some more. I still couldn't believe it.

I didn't have time to shower anymore. Adam and I just left the dorm room as quickly as possible. Adam had his father's truck with him so calling Scott and Liz for a ride was no longer a problem, but I still had to call to tell them were to meet us at. Adam let me drive as I talked to Scott, giving him directions as Adam sat in the passenger side, putting his socks back on, then his shoes and then fixing his hair in the visor mirror.

He looked back up and gestured for me to tell him how he looked. He had on a nice fitting black t-shirt, making the blue in his eyes darken along with the brown of his hair. His square jaw tensed as I could see the nervousness flare off of him. His short straight hair slicked back as best he could without gel. He had on a pair of khaki cut-off shorts that showed off his thick calf muscles. A pair of black converse tennis shoes finished the look, over a pair of socks. I nodded at winked at him. He was as ready as he'll ever be.

I told Scott that Adam was with me. However, I didn't say anything about Adam coming out to me. That was totally up to him whether or not he wanted to tell Scott, but I knew for a fact Scott would totally understand. We pulled into a parking space in front of the restaurant. Adam looked as if his hands were shaking uncontrollably.

"You ready?" I asked, making sure he wanted to do this.

"Yeah," he said nodding and taking a deep breath, putting back on a straight face, "Let's do this."


I looked across the restaurant and out the window on the other end. It was either getting late or the sun was setting earlier than usual. I looked back at the empty seat next to me. When was he gonna get here? Grant and Jeff had already eaten all the bread sticks and were now more than ready to eat. Terrance and I had been talking about our trip home for Thanksgiving which was only days away. Our water was just about empty when I looked back at the door to see Logan standing there talking to the host and pointing in our direction.

He looked straight at me and instantly smiled. I felt my happiness level rise as he walked over. I got up out of my seat as he approached. When he was almost standing in front of me I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him lightly on the lips, a quick one, nothing that begged for attention. It didn't bother me here. The place we were at was dark, we were in the back and friends we were with didn't seem to mind at all, that and the fact that I hadn't seen him almost all day.

He bit his lips and reluctantly dropped his hands from my waist, smiling with his nose only inches from mine. His scent was strong as it surrounded me and burned its way into my nostrils, making my brain float and my crotch tingle. It really didn't hit me until now but I really liked the way he smelled.

Finally letting me go, he grabbed my hand and I looked behind him and noticed another guy with him. Adam? It was Adam. I noticed the panic as it set every nerve in my brain haywire. What was he doing here?

Logan gestured for him to come forward. He looked almost terrified as he took the few steps forward and stood next to me and Logan.

"Hey guys." Logan said to everyone at the table, "This is a good friend of mine Adam Caldwell. Adam this is Grant..."

Grant nodded at him, obviously taking notice.

"...Jeff," Jeff smiled back

"I'm sure you know Ethan," Logan said looking at Adam and then me.

I looked back at Adam. His eyes wandered from Logan and then me. His smile was small but heartfelt as he nodded at me, noticing Logan's firm grip on my hand. I smiled back at him. He seemed to blush as he looked back down at his feet, putting his hands in his pocket.

"And... uhhh... this is Terrance." Logan finally said as he looked back over at Adam.

The conversation went silent as time felt like it slowed to a halt. Adam just stared at Terrance, his lips parting as they slowly rose into an asymmetric smile, cute but still nervous. Terrance looked shocked, but somehow, happily amazed as he stared back into Adam's eyes. I looked at both of them. Could it be that Adam was the guy at the pool? The one Terrance has been crushing over? Certainly did fit the physical profile.

"Well, Adam why don't you sit next to Terrance on the end so Scott and Liz can sit together." Logan said as he broke the silence. A rich smile shot across Terrance's face as Adam bit his lip to hide his enthusiasm.

Adam nodded at Logan and timidly walked around the table and pulled out the chair next to Terrance. Terrance looked back at his menu smiling to himself as I sat back down, Adam's gaze wandering from his menu to Terrance and then back again. I took a sip of water as Logan sat next to me and put his paw on my knee under the table, his thick fingers and strong thumb rubbing my leg through the denim as he stared at me with a lustful look. I looked back up at him as I put the glass back on the table.

"Is all you think about sex?" I said as I moved my face closer to his, hoping no one else could hear us.

"Hey, do I have to be thinking about sex if I wanna touch my boyfriend?" he said, his grip on my knee going firm as he slowly began feeling up my leg. I smiled and shut my eyes, grateful for the low-hanging table cloth. Even thought I wasn't thinking about sex before, I sure was now.


It wasn't long before Scott and Liz had arrived. Grant and Jeff were picking on each other. Nothing new there. Terrance and Adam still hadn't said a word to each other. I really wasn't sure much else I could do to help out two friends in need. But they did smile when their eyes met, most of the time they tried to look at each other while the other was supposedly not looking. I knew Terrance liked Adam, I could see it.

Ethan and I were trading smiles as he told me about his new job, excitement and anxiety braided into his voice. I on the other hand listened and nodded my head as the light reflected off his garnet like eyes, hypnotizing me; his eyes dark, making every partial of light smile. He was so beautiful, so fucking beautiful.

"HEEEYYY," I heard behind me as my attention turn from Ethan to Scott standing above me. Even in the low light of the restaurant, his bright red hair seemed on fire.

"HEEYY," I said in response and smiled at him. Liz stood behind him, brushing her hair away from her face.

"Liz, Scott, sit down." I said, pointing to the only two seats left.

As the they sat down Grant looked at both of them, "So your Scott and Liz?" he said, taking a bite of a fresh breadstick.

"Yeah it's really cool to finally fit some faces to names." Jeff said as he elbowed Grant, making him choke on his bread bite.

Everyone laughed as Jeff looked up at them, "Sorry, I'm Jeff and this sorry ass is Grant."

"Hey." Grant said with raspy voice and smile, obvious that a piece of bread was still in his throat.

That seemed to lighten everyone up. As we ordered and waited for our food it was clear that of all the people in the restaurant, we were the loudest. It was surprising how fast Scott and Liz.... and even Adam seemed to be getting along with Grant, Jeff and Terrance.

The conversations inevitably turned sexual as they all seemed to gang up on me and Ethan. The jokes flied as I just sat back and blushed, letting Ethan come up with all the good come-backs. I laughed harder as the talk turned to couples vs. singles, then straight vs. gay and then just all out free for all. There was laughing and yelling as our food came, but that didn't slow the jokes or the story telling.

I watched Ethan blush and then let his head hit the table as Liz talked about how Ethan 'came out' to her, well more like how she tricked it out of him. Terrance told similar stories while Scott just had to add his two cents and add my humiliation to the pool. Adam just seemed to be shocked at every little detail about mine and Ethan's, now not so secret, relationship.

Chuckling I grabbed Ethan's hand on the table, "You gonna let them get away with all this?"

"What am I supposed to do?" he said as he finished off his pasta and dropped his fork in his now empty plate, "It's six against two. They got us fucked, deal with it."

I exhaled sharply and smiled at him. The volume of our little group calmed as everyone enjoyed a full stomach. Just then Terrance got up out of his seat and walked around everyone.

"Gotta piss." he said, as he walked around Scott and Liz, looking directly at Adam and barely making a noticeable smile. Everyone, including Scott and Liz noticed. Something was going on between those two. As Terrance turned the corner walking toward the men's room I looked at Adam, along with everyone else. He looked glued to his seat as Grant and Jeff gave him bantering smiles.

Scott looked at him, somewhat confused, but getting the idea. Liz just smiled, biting her lip and looking at Adam and then letting her eyes wander towards the men's room. She knew. There was no denying that. Finally Adam looked me, his blue eyes begging me for assistance. I gave him a serious look and mouthed the word, "GO," several times as I tilted my head in the general direction of the restroom.

He took a deep breath, put his hands flat on the table and got up. Everyone gave him smiles of encouragement, including Scott, as he walked clumsily around all of us, occasionally kicking the leg of a chair. Man he was nervous. I laughed to myself as I heard Ethan's amused voice, "Love playing matchmaker, huh?"

"Hey." I said as I looked at him. I smiled with embarrassment, "I mean, my friend likes your friend, I THINK your friend likes my friend... just thought I'd give 'em a little push."

"I guess it'll only fair." he said as he looked down at his empty plate and almost empty glass, "I mean Terrance kinda gave us a push, right?"

"Right," I said lowering my head and tilting it to one side as I smiled at him. I did thank him. I thank Terrance everyday for pushing me.

"So those two like each other?" Scott said as he held Liz's hand, his face noting that he should acknowledge something but didn't entirely know what.

"Scott babe," Liz said as Scott finished off his Sprite, "Could it be more obvious?" Her tone of voice answering her own question.

Scott slurped the last of his soda and put it down on the table, "Well I guess there's no question now about Adam's 'choice of interest.'"

"What about you two? What do you think?" Ethan asked, looking at Grant and Jeff, minding their own business but having a smile that screamed that they knew something.

"It's fuckin' fate, that's what I think." Grant said he stuffed another breadstick into his mouth.

"Terrance likes him," Jeff said boastfully, speaking for the both of them, "He pointed him out one time at campus while we were leaving the pool."

Ethan's eyes went big, "And you little fuckers didn't tell me?" his voice jokingly annoyed.

"Well I didn't know he was Logan's friend. If I did... I might have mentioned it," Jeff said happily apologetic.

Grant grinned in accordance, bread still in his mouth. Scott flung his head back and laughed as Grant gave Liz a high five. Just then we saw Terrace walking slowly out of the hallway where the restroom supposedly was. He smiled and laughed as he took a few more steps into view. All of us laughed in surprise as we saw Adam walking behind him, talking and smiling just as interested. As they cleared the hall they walked side by side back to the table taking their time as they looked at only each other. I smiled to myself. They did look kinda cute together.

As they approached the table they both stopped talking and just stood there for us to look at them. Adam seemed a bit more confident, standing taller than before. Terrance looked slightly embarrassed but it was an embarrassment he seemed to relish. There was no contact between them. If there was I think it would have been way too fast.

Scott looked at Adam and smiled, laughing on an exhale and shaking his head gently. Liz got up behind him and put her arms around Scott's neck, letting her hands fall over his chest while he chin rested on his shoulders. She looked up at Adam and smiled. She didn't need to say anything. It was obvious that all of us looked at them with happiness and approval.

Terrance finally took a deep breath and rolled his eyes at us, smiling wildly, "Okay guys, that's enough."

Everyone nodded, laughing while they slowly got out of their seats. Grant picked up the check and showed it to Jeff. Scott and Adam began reaching for their wallets.

"Hey," Grant and Jeff said to Scott and Adam, making them freeze, "It's on us, we told Ethan that we wanted to treat everyone out, so were gonna treat everyone out."

"Fine," Scott said, accepting the gesture, "But let us pay for tip."

"Yeah." Adam added as Grant looked and Jeff, nodding that that was fine, and welcomed.

Adam and Scott each threw down a ten dollar bill as we all walked out, talking just as loud as ever.


As the eight of us left the restaurant it was already getting dark. The sun was gone but the evening light was still out. The cool night breeze was already starting to pick up. Liz gave everyone hugs while Scott shook everyone's hand. He walked Liz to his truck while they both waved good-night. Grant and Jeff told us they were gonna go get some beer as they walked towards Terrance's car, chatting away like sorority sisters.

"And you two?" I said as I looked over at Terrance standing rather close to Adam.

"Well... Adam kinda offered me a ride home... so..."

My god, already? They just met... well maybe not just met, but as far as I know this is the first time they'd actually talked. But as I looked at Terrance I could see that he looked just like me when Logan and I had just started; happy, scared... naive. Adam looked just as cheerful, his large frame making it hard not to notice how jumpy he was.

"Well have fun guys," I said as I smiled back at them, my smile telling him to behave when I knew that was never gonna happen.

As a surprise Adam grabbed Terrance's hand and they jogged off to Adam's truck.

"That was quick." Logan said as he put his hands in his pocket and brought his mouth to my ear.

I was about to say something, smart I'm sure, when Grant and Jeff pulled up next to us in Terrance's car.

"Is the happiest gay couple in the world ready to leave yet?" Jeff said out the passenger side window.

I quickly spun my head around to see if anyone was looking, old habit I guess. I punched Jeff in the shoulder, "Shut the fuck up." I said smiling through clenched teeth.

Just then Logan stepped up and brought his head to the window, "You know guys, I think me and Ethan are gonna take a little walk, okay?"

"Whatever." they said as they smiled at us, in no mood to ask questions. Jeff began rolling the window while making the obscene gesture of giving a blowjob. I gave him the finger and laughed as they drove off, leaving Logan and I standing there at the edge of a small street.

"Walk huh?" I smiled at him and brought the hood of my black zip-up hoodie over my head, leaving it unzipped as I stepped off the curb. Logan kept his hands in his pockets. It was a little cool out now, late November and all. He didn't wear a coat, or sweatshirt, but he had on his favorite fading red polo with a grey long sleeve shirt underneath, the sleeves bunched around his thick forearms. I was kinda glad he had his hands in his pockets, because that no longer presented the temptation to grab his hand.

I know I told myself that that was a done issue, but I'm only human. Fear is a tough demon to conquer. Besides, I don't think he needed me to hold his hand to show that I loved him. It would help, but now really didn't seem all that appropriate. We were about to stroll through the 'family suburbs' on our little walk home.

"So what do you think? T-dawg and Adam?" Logan said, his cobalt eyes darkening in the receding light as the dried leaves over the sidewalk crunched under our feet.

"It's cool I guess," I said as I stuck my hands into the warm pockets of my sweat-shirt, "I dunno, it's still kinda weird."

"How?" he said nudging me lovingly with his shoulder as he pushed me into empty the street.

I smiled back, "I mean, Terrance seeing Adam now means we aren't gonna see each other as much."

"So you don't want Terrance and Adam together?" Logan asked, his voice still happy, but with a serious edge.

"I didn't say that." I said eyeing him, telling him not to be stupid.

"I am happy for them," I said lowering my head as I listened to Logan's heavy footsteps, "To be honest I was scared of Adam finding out about us."

"Me too." Logan said as I looked up at him, the gentle breeze blowing my now long hair into my eyes, it only licked at Logan's short hair as he looked down at me, "I thought he'd hate me... I mean his family is really Christian. I just assumed..."

"Yeah," I said as I looked at the street ahead of us, "He surprised me."

Logan laughed hard, throwing his head back, "No shit."

He looked back down at the sidewalk in front of us, "You know he was the guy that brought Terrance home that night."

My eyes got wide as my pace slowed. I didn't say anything. He was 'Mr. Mysterious'? I smiled on the inside and relaxed a bit for Terrance's sake. At least I knew now that Adam cared for him, a great deal more than I had anticipated.

Logan laughed again, "He was the guy you talked with in the living room."

I looked down and laughed to myself, "So I assume he knows I was the shirtless guy he talked to."

"Yup," Logan said grinning, "And I told him hands off, cause you mine."

I smiled as I pushed him gently with my shoulder. The evening faded into night as Logan and I talked and laughed like old friends, nothing between us that said, 'boyfriends', as we walked the quiet streets of the conservative side of Tucson, the stars dimming as the familiar feel of rain clouds billowed over head.

Logan stopped talking as we walked into a park, empty as it was already bedtime for the local residence, trees all around, secluding us from the houses that surrounded us. The playground equipment creaked in the gentle breeze as we slowly walked through, the street lights only bright enough to walk by.

Logan hopped in front of me, smiling as he nodded his head towards the swings, the chains rasping in the wind. I smiled at him and ran after him. He took a seat in a swing and nodded to the one beside him. I took a seat and let the soles of my shoes scrap against the gravel as I gently swung, holding onto the chains at my sides. Logan sat still, his large and heavily built body making it hard for him to swing without effort.

"What were you like growing up?" he asked, leaning his head on the chain as he looked at me. Even in the dim light, his face made me smile.

"I was a problem child, along with my twin brother. Rude, maybe a little rebellious," I smiled as I told him, "I still remember me and Kyle visiting the principles office almost every week."

Logan teeth glowed as he smiled at me, "So you were happy?"

"Yeah I was." I said smiling as I remembered my brother, my best friend.

"Then what happened?" Logan asked his voice telling me that he wanted to know everything, even the darker memories.

I looked down as my smile fell from my face, "I got to junior high, my parents split, and Kyle left."

I felt Logan's stare as he just listened, letting me go on if I felt like it. I felt those harsh memories play over like a movie reel. I felt the color and the sound as I remembered, "...and I got picked on a lot."

"Why?" I heard Logan ask as I heard the old hateful voices in my head tell me over and over.... 'your face is shit.'

"Because of the way I look," I looked down and away form Logan as I rewound my memories, "They called me 'pretty boy' as they beat me up after school, but they way they meant it, it was an insult. I mean it did make sense, guys are handsome... not pretty."

"What about your Tae Kwan Do?" Logan's voice almost whispering.

"I... still wasn't any good, I was still learning, besides... it didn't feel right beating them up." I stopped swing and planted my feet firmly in the gravel.

Logan got up out of the swing. I listened to his footsteps crunch in the gravel as he walked in front of me and got down on his knees, still on his feet, his face in view as I looked down at him, his warm face still noticeable in the dim yellow light as he caressed my hands on the chains, pulling them into his in front of us.

"Ethan," he said it with all the warm emotions as he looked me in the eye, "I mean it when I say I love you."

He brought his hand to my face as it ran along my cheek. It was warm against the night chill as I very lightly smiled, "To me, you're still the most beautiful thing that's ever walked into my life."

I beamed at him as I let all my memories of Logan wash away the bad ones. If he said I was beautiful then I guess I was. I didn't feel like arguing with him. He smiled back at me as I felt a small rain drop on my hand. Logan felt one too as we both looked up. In a split second it all came pouring down. I watched as Logan's semi-spiked hair flattened as the rain poured over his head.

We laughed as we both looked up. I closed my eyes and slightly opened my mouth, letting the cool water crash over my face as I drank the first few drops of November rain.

It was perfect.


I held Ethan's hands as we sat there in the rain, letting it soak us. More me than him. I looked around and noticed a stone-roofed bandstand. It looked like it was there for old world charm rather than use for an actual band. He looked back at me, smiling happily, his face and bangs completely soaked as I pulled him to his feet, still holding his right hand we jogged over to the bandstand and stopped under the roof, listening to the rain all around us as Ethan took the drenched hood of his sweatshirt off his head. I watched the water drip off his chin as I felt droplets roll from my hair and onto my cheeks.

I watched him as he just stared at me, his breaths going deep as I inched my way forward. I tilted my head as I grabbed at his sweatshirt and pulled him into me. Our sodden bodies collided as his hands grabbed at my waist. I closed my eyes as I felt his warmth in contrast to the wet air. His lips opened against mine as I claimed him all over again. I felt him relax in my arms as I'm sure he noticed that no one could see us. No one but two crazy boys in love would be out in the rain.

As I felt him end we opened our eyes to the soft coo of pigeons. We looked up and saw the birds perched inside the bandstand dome. I looked back down at Ethan and rested wet my forehead against his as we stood still, our arms around one another.

"You know... you can't ask for more than this." I said as I tightened my grip around my perfect boyfriend, looking in his eyes and seeing everything I ever needed.

Ethan bit his lip while he smiled, "I know, it feels good to find everything you've been waiting for."

He looked at me for a little while longer and then let his head fall onto my shoulder, looking out at the rain as I felt him take deep breaths. I could feel it, hot through the soaked fabric as he rubbed the side of his face into my shoulder, his dampened hair warming against my neck.

"I like the way you smell," he said slightly above a whisper as I rested my chin on his head and smiled. "You're everything I wanted to be growing up Logan; alpha male, tall, big, strong, hairy," he sighed, "... and I didn't turn out that way."

I felt his arms around me tighten, "So that why you fell in love with me?" I asked, mostly joking.

He pushed off my body so he could look at me, his expression asking if that was even a real question, "No."

He smiled softy and brought his hand to my face, tracing his strong fingers along my jaw, letting my two day's growth nip at his fingertips while I stared into his dark eyes.

"Before I fell in love with this Logan..."

He let his hand fall from my face, gliding down my neck and onto my chest, over my softly beating heart, all the while holding my eyes with his.

"I fell in love with this." he said pressing his palm into my chest.

As he left his hand there, I felt that low burn in the depth of my chest swell and then explode over my face. Of all the bad mistakes in life, I finally felt like I was doing something right. I cocked my head forward and caught his lips with mine. I wanted him to feel as warm as I felt at that moment. I wanted him to feel that I loved that abstract side of him as well, that intangible essence of his that housed all my emotions.

"I love you just the way you are," I whispered as we finished, our noses still touching, "you're proof to me that heaven does exist."

That made him smile as he looked down between our soaked bodies, "I look like a sixteen year-old boy, Logan."

"I know," I said as the rain got heavier, a puddle now forming where we stood, "A very, very attractive 16 year-old."

"You know other people notice too." he said, his voice going a little melancholy.

"I've noticed," I said as I heard my own voice go serious as I subconsciously tightened my hold around him. I lowered my eyes from his as I felt my ego crack as I confessed, "I... I know I get jealous Ethan."

"Why?" he asked, obvious curiosity in his voice.

I took a deep breath, "Cause I hate the fact that... they see through me and look at you, like you're something to stare at while they undress you with their eyes... I guess what I'm trying to say is... I... I'm afraid that you might just leave me for someone else. Like I'm your boyfriend in the meantime while you figure out what you want."

He smiled and kissed me lightly, letting me taste his breath, "Don't worry. I'm not leaving you for some guy with a staring problem or some flirty chick who can't keep her comments to herself."

I looked up at him as his smile told me he was telling the truth.

"I don't know if I could ever love someone who just loved me for the way I looked and just pretended to make up the important parts about me and 'in the meantime?'.... 'figure out what I want?'", he said imitating my voice.

He gave me a questioning look, "The 'meantime' has been all the time before us, and I definitely know now what I want. His name is Kenneth Logan Rian. He's nineteen years old, a football prodigy, loves snowboarding, videogames and his boyfriend... he loves me."

I smiled as I let him sooth all the stupid worries I had swimming around in my head.

"And I love him more than he'll ever know." Ethan said, his voice going low and husky.

I grabbed his face with my right hand and pulled him into me again. There's something about kissing in the rain. It felt like the minutes passed like seconds. Before I knew it, my lips were tingling and my tongue was very well worked. I smiled back at him as he gave me a puzzled look, wondering what exactly was going on in my head. I stepped back and grabbed his hand, pulling him back into the rain.

"Come on." I said as the cool drops hit my face, Ethan's long dark hair dripping at the tips. He smiled back at me and let me lead the way.


We ran back to campus in the rain. It wasn't as bad as it sounded although it was pretty far, but we were athletes so it wasn't totally horrible. We splashed each other with puddles and let the cars spray us as they drove by.

As we flung open the front doors to Logan's dorm building, I felt 50 pounds heavier. Mine and his clothes were dripping all over the tiled floor as he walked up the few flights of stairs, leaving trails of water. We got puzzled looks from the few people in the halls as our shoes sloshed and our hair dripped. I laughed as Logan had a hard time pulling his keys from the pocket of his wet jeans.

As I walked into his room Logan quickly shut the door behind him. He turned on the lights; a warm glow that filled the room from a single lamp, nothing too bright but soft. I turned around and slowly took off my heavy sweatshirt. Logan's eyes locked completely on me as I peeled it off my shoulders, finally holding it out I asked, "Where can I put this?"

Logan took his time answering, noticing that my now soaked shirt lovingly clung to my body like I'd had it spray painted on me.

"Uhh... you can just drop it there." he said, obviously not thinking about words.

I let my sweatshirt fall onto the carpeted floor, almost clapping as it did so. I watched his lips part slowly as I pulled my white shirt off, the air in the room cool against my dampened skin. Logan's eyes lit up as I asked, "And this?"

"Th...There... there's fine...." he smiled, tripping over his words.

I loved making him forget everything around us. I gave him an innocent look as I undid my belt. He licked his lips and took deep breaths as I undid my button and pulled down my zipper. My pants now weighing 20 pounds, I let gravity do all the work.

As they fell around my ankles all I was left in was a soaked white, jock. Soaked through, so nothing was left to his imagination. I was semi-hard from all the attention his eyes were giving me.

I smiled coyly back, "You got a towel?" I asked as I felt myself start to shiver.

"Yeah," Logan said, closing his eyes and shaking himself out the trance I had purposely put him in.

He pulled a big red towel out his closet and wrapped it around me as I pulled my shoes off with my feet and finally stepping out of my pants. He then quickly pulled his polo and his long-sleeve shirt off and over his head. I heard them hit the floor with a dull slap. I felt him behind me as he threw one of his arms back around my chest over the towel.

"You can stop shaking now." he growled in my ear.

I smiled as I heard his own jeans fall to the floor. I leaned my head back on his broad shoulder as his warm breath raced across my neck. Next I felt his lips, running and kissing almost onto my shoulder.

I laughed. Half because as sexy as he was trying to be, I was ticklish there, and because I actually wanted to dry off before his roommate, Terry, walked in on us for the hundredth time.

"What's so fuckin' funny?" Logan asked, annoyed that I had 'broken the mood.'

"Nothing." I was lying, and he knew it.

He turned me around in his trunk-like arms and pulled the towel over my head and began drying my hair. When he was done I was sure my head looked like a total mess.

I flattened it back down as I asked, "You got something I could wear?"

I watched his icy blues light up as a wicked smile shot across his face like a fourth of July firecracker. His eyes looked me down and then up as he took a couple steps backwards. I pulled the towel from around me, wadded it up and threw it at him.

He was also in only a jock, white and absolutely sexy on him as he smiled at me. The light hair on his chest completely stuck to his skin. He was already making my mouth water. As he turned around I watched his hard and firm ass as he walked to his dresser and began rummaging through it. As I stared I bit my lip and smiled. My boyfriend was smokin' in every way.

He turned back around and threw me a bundle of fabric as he proceeded to dry himself off. I opened it up to see a pair of lovingly worn white boxers and a pair of grey sweatpants. I threw both over my shoulder as I dug my thumbs into my jock and pulled it off. I kicked it towards him with surprising accuracy as he caught it single handedly. He brought it to his nose and took a whiff. I closed my eyes and laughed at him.

"Smell's like rain anyways." he said as he tossed it into his hamper, leaning back into his dresser.

I stood there naked as ever as I pulled the pair of boxers from my shoulder. I slid my legs in one by one and slid them up slowly, letting him fold his arms and tilt his head as he watched. I then pulled the pair of sweats off my shoulder and held then out. They had the University stamp running down the side of one of the legs.

"They were a gift." Logan said smiling as he nodded his head once, gesturing me to try them on. As I pulled them up, I wasn't at all surprised to find that they were a tad too big, waist wise and length. But the good part was that they were straight legged, they didn't have that uncomfortable elastic around the ankles, and the waist was draw string, so I didn't have to constantly be pulling them up. Logan beamed at me as his eyes couldn't stop looking me over.

"Okay lover boy, your turn." I said folding my arms and leaning back onto his desk, mimicking his posture.

He looked back at his dresser and nodded. I watched him pull out a few things out and finally turn back to face me. I bit my lip and smiled as I watched his big fingers run over the elastic band of his overly stuffed jock, then at his think thumbs as they hooked into them and leisurely pulled them down.

I noticed his wicked smile as he knew I was looking almost entirely as his cock. Even soft it was a sight to see, but as I watched I noticed it grow, slowly. He kicked his jock up and caught it, winking at me as he threw it in the hamper along with mine. He reached behind him and pulled out a pair of navy boxers. Sliding them up his thick legs and letting them lightly snap around his waist.

They looked stretched over his thick thighs and bulged obscenely as they tried to conceal his enormous tool. As he finally pulled out a pair of flannel sleeping pants I pushed myself off his desk and began walking towards him, his long sweats covering my feet as I stepped on them. I guess this is the price you pay for having a boyfriend who's bigger in almost everyway.

With his flannel pants finally around his waist I grabbed at the hanging draw stings and pulled myself towards him. Finally up against his body with my mouth at his chin, I said in a very low voice, "You look like a lumberjack."

His hands around my bare waist pulled me against him even more, his now dry chest hair brushing against my smooth skin, as he lowered his head and looked at me, smiling to his heart's content as I felt it beat against my own.

"I'm from Colorado, I am a lumberjack... I'm your fuckin' lumberjack"

Before I could smile he pulled me up into him and had me in a kiss, his large hands holding tightly onto me I pulled at his flannel sleepers. This was hot. We both had to admit it.


I let him go as I still held him by the waist. His beautiful upper body against mine as he looked up at me, his hands running between my skin and my boxers, "So..."

I laughed and kissed his nose as I grabbed one of his hands and dragged him to my bed.

"Terry's gone for the night." I said as I laid on my side, my back against the wall as I ran my hands along the portion of my comforter in front of me, looking up at Ethan still standing over me while I subtly gestured for him to lie down next to me.

"So no awkward walk-in's this time?" he asked, folding his arms, his voice mockingly serious.

"No awkward walk-in's... Lumberjack's honor," I said, doing a 'scout's honor' instead with my hand.

It made him laugh as he jumped into my arms, his back against my chest as I reached for my TV remote. I turned it on as we decided on a sitcom re-run.

"Logan. You never told me what you were like as a kid." Ethan said out of nowhere.

I laughed as I lowered the volume, "You really wanna know?"

"Yeah," he said as he rolled over in my arms so that he was facing me, "I do, I mean you know a lot more about me, more than I tell most people. Willingly that is."

I laughed nervously, "I dunno where to start."

He looked at me, his big brown eyes showing me he was truly interested.

"Well, I wasn't a problem child and I wasn't exactly rebellious." I said emphasizing that I Ethan was. He laughed as he pinched my nipple, not hard, but enough to make me squirm.

When I finally stopped laughing I continued, "For as long as I can remember my dad always pushed me to play sports. And I guess for my size the obvious choice was football."

"Obviously." Ethan said jokingly. I laughed along with him.

"I mean, Kurt got the looks, Matt got the brains, and I got the brawn." I said it as Ethan felt up my arm, tracing the lines of my muscles as I finished.

"My parents are divorced and... I guess its better that way," I heard my own voice dampen, as Ethan looked up at me, a sympathizing look lingering in his eyes. He nuzzled his face in my chest as I relaxed, caressing his back as he tightened his grip around me.

I guess that ended that discussion. I listened to his breathing slow as he closed his eyes. I held him in my arms as I continued to watch TV, Ethan asleep as he lightly tossed against me. It was getting late as I turned the volume down on the TV even more, remembering that I still had one more fuckin' reading assignment to finish before it was my turn to hit the sack.

Very slowly and with as little movement as possible I sat up on my bed, throwing one of my pillows behind me as I leaned back against the wall while gently placing Ethan's head back into a pillow in my lap as he still seemed deep asleep. The book I had was small. It was a novel I had to read for my American Lit class, only a few chapters.

With the TV almost muted and almost finished with my book I felt Ethan move like he was quietly trying to get comfortable. I heard him groan and then what I thought was a moan. I shut my book, dog-earing the corner to mark my spot, and tossed it aside as I watched Ethan gently, seductively move in his dream. He arched his back slightly and rolled his head in the pillow. A little amused I placed my hand on his flexing abs as I heard him groan again.

Just then he opened his eyes and looked at my own abs in front of him. He rolled his head and finally looked up at me. He smiled sheepishly as I ran my left fingers through his hair.

"Sounds like you were having a good dream." I said smiling as I eyed the ample mound in the sweats he was wearing. God he looked fucking sexy as hell in my clothes.

I let my right fingers trace his abs as he answered still half asleep, "Was I loud?"

I watched my fingers run along the edge of my white boxers, snuggly wrapped low around Ethan's waist. "Not too loud. Certainly nothing I didn't enjoy listening to."

I looked back at his face, blushing as he somewhat giggled. Ethan wasn't one to giggle but what ever sort of laugh he did, it made his abs beautifully tighten as I continued to pick at the elastic of my favorite white boxers wrapped around my gorgeous boyfriend's body.

My little exploration had me mounting in my thin flannel pants. I wasn't sure if the pillow, and Ethan's head, in my lap was a good thing or a bad thing. I looked into his eyes, glowing in the warm light of the room as he smiled innocently back at me, making me wonder if he could feel my solid cock through the pillow.

He arched his back again, stretching as I tried as inconspicuously as possible to slip my large, thick fingers into the front of his white boxers. He smiled back at me as he put his hands behind his pillow in my lap. Looking up at me, I watched his smile grow a little coyer as I felt one of his hands rub against my now throbbing cock. I licked my lips as I now had my hand up to my wrist buried in his boxers.


His hand was strong yet gentle as his meaty palm rubbed along the length of my rod. I was having a dream about him, an awesome dream about him. So it was only natural that I had woken up with a raging hard on. Logan finally wrapped his thick fingers around my tool and lightly squeezed.

I shut my eyes and groaned lightly. I think by now Logan felt that I'd been leaking into his clean pair of underwear. I gasped and grabbed his concrete forearm as he looked down at me, taking deep breaths though his gently parted lips as I felt his arm flex, choking my cock in his solid grip.

With my hands nestled behind the pillow beneath my head I returned the favor, groping at his huge hulking cock through the warm fabric of his sleeping pants. Logan's grip had now turned a slow pump as he tenderly started his first stroke of my aching tool.

"Mmmm..." was all I could moan as I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes. Logan's strokes felt purposefully long and more like teasing. I took hold of the pillow beneath my head and slowly pulled it out from under me, watching his face as I finally threw the pillow to the other end of the bed, my head still in his lap with his monstrous cock caged beside my cheek.

I turned my body to face him as I got up, his large and frisky hand still holding me in my boxers. I brought my face to his, close enough to feel his hot breath on my lips. I stared at him for a moment, trying to keep a straight face. It didn't last long, finally cracking a smile. He smiled back and moved in for a kiss.

"Not sleepy either?" I asked as I reached between us and grabbed at his obviously attention starved tool.

He shook his head and leaned in for another. I opened my mouth and welcomed him in. His right hand continued to stroke and fondle me while his left snaked around my waist and was cunningly prodding his fingers between my boxer and my ass. I was moaning in his mouth as I pulled away from him, biting his lower lip as I did so. With one hand petting and groping his groin I wrapped my other hand around his waist. Still breathing heavily I dragged my lips across his jaw, letting his stubble scrap against them as I came to his ear. Licking and then biting at his earlobe until he gasped.

"Having fun yet?" I asked in my huskiest voice.

He groaned as a response as my groping went a bit more forceful. But as hard as he was, fierce was close to nothing. Now a bit more comfortable I straddled his lap, him still reclined against the wall with both his hands in my boxers. I brought my face back to his ear and licked where his jaw hooked into his skull.

He tilted his head to the side, offering me his neck like a willing vampire victim. I bit at the thick cords of his neck, feeling them tighten between my lips. I heard him take a sharp breath as I bit at his lower neck, sucking and then nibbling on his soft skin. His left hand gripped my ass cheek, his fingers digging into me as his other hand held my cock still. My free hand held his shoulder as my right lightly tugged on the elastic band of his snug boxers.

My lips came to his shoulders as my kisses traced the lines of his muscles. Going lower I maneuvered my body to the left, getting off his lap, his left hand falling out of my boxers as I did so. I looked up at his face and the expression I was expecting; one of longing, he told me quite a few times that his hands favorite place was my ass.

I smiled back at him as I reached his chest, breathing over his hairs, light and soft against my lips. I felt one of his nipples against the corner of my mouth, hard as a pencil eraser. I heard him gasp again as I wrapped my tongue around and then locked my mouth over it, his strokes on my cock tightening as I sucked and bit on his engorged little nub.

He was loving it, his hips started a gentle thrust as he pressed his chest into my mouth. His now free left hand came around my head, his fingers in my hair as he pulled my head harder onto his pec.

"Aawwhhh, hmm... yeah." was all he whispered as I nibbled and gnawed on his tasty flesh. Finally letting it go, his grip on my head relaxed. I looked up at him and continued my journey down his body. His abs flexed as my breath raced over them. I looked up at him as the only color in his eyes at that moment was lust.

I got up on my knees as I brought my hands to his pants and pulled at the flannel. This was so much easier to deal with than jeans. I pulled the elastic of his pants and boxers away from his body, exposing a bronzed forest of pubes. I reached in, grabbing hold of his thick and powerful cock, stretching his pants and boxers to the max as I extracted it. With his cock finally out I gently tucked his pants and boxers, now falling off his hips, underneath his egg-sized balls. God, no matter how many times I got to see it, it still impressed me.

I wrapped my right hand around it, mesmerized by his girth. I locked eyes with him as I let my tongue peek out from between my lips. I licked up his shaft, all nine inches of it, feeling the veins and tasting a flavor only Logan could offer. I licked my lips, getting them wet as I licked up and around his sensitive head, taking his savory pre-cum in as it slowly dribbled from the lips of his cock head. Logan struggled for breath as I finally took it in my mouth, sucking on the head as I felt his hands in my hair again. I pressed my tongue into his piss slit, making Logan shudder beneath me.

"AAahhhh... yeah." was what I heard whispered as he let his head fall back against the wall with a light thud.

I sucked a little more into my mouth and savored all my quarterback boyfriend had to offer.


God, let me feel like this forever. I uncontrollably shut my eyes as Ethan sucked more of my monster into his oven hot mouth. I felt my hips gently thrust into him. He didn't have to suck me to the base. He had me helpless just the way he did it. His tongue swathed my cock as he sucked me off and then pressed against the underside as he sucked me back in. The soft slurping noises Ethan made were like a lullaby that put me in a daze. I felt his warm saliva cool as it rolled down my shaft and into my pubes.

I couldn't take it any longer. With my right hand I reached out and grabbed Ethan's leg, my hand locking on his high inner thigh as I dragged him closer to me, his body perpendicular to mine, stretched across my bed as I sat up right.

I hooked my thumb in the band of the boxers and sweats he was wearing and slowly pulled them down off his gorgeous ass. With his pants and underwear now around his mid thigh, he was on his knees, bent over while giving me an awesome pleasure I wanted from no one else. I brought my hand back up over his ass, feeling down his crack with my middle finger and savoring the heat than emanated form his body. This was a dream world I was in, nothing before Ethan had ever felt so good.

Ethan's hot mouth sucked like a vacuum as I shut my eyes, digging my middle finger into his crack, pressing at his tiny, puckered hole.

"Awwhh... Fuck... uugghhh, yeah..." was the last thing I heard myself say before bringing my fingers to my lips, sucking my three large digits into my mouth.

"Mmmmm." I moaned to myself as I relished Ethan's flavor, feeling it ignite across my tongue.

My legs felt weak, like Ethan was sucking the energy out of me. I didn't care if he killed me this way, I'd have no objections. I pulled my fingers from my mouth, licking them once more and then returning them to retrieve more of the sweet flavor I craved.

I felt Ethan moan around my cock as my saliva soaked fingers touched and then massaged his searing hole, gently pressing into him as my mouth watered. I took a sharp breath as his sucking went form hard to fierce. I brought my fingers back to my mouth as the favor melted into my tongue.

There was no way I was ever gonna be satisfied like this. I bit my bottom lip and moaned. There was only one way this was gonna get better. I fell onto the bed and pulled my sweats and boxers from Ethan's thighs, pulling them slowly over his knees, watching the light fall over his beautiful skin. Finally I yanked them off his feet and let them fall off the bed and onto the floor. I smiled, happy that he was finally completely naked for me.

I laid back on the bed, on my back as I pulled Ethan's left leg over my chest, his knees under my elbows as I grabbed his ass cheeks and positioned his perfect ass inches above my face. We were now in a 69 position, Ethan straddling my face as he sucked on my monstrous tool.

I brought my hands to his ass cheeks and gently pulled them apart with my fingers as they dug into the creamy supple skin that framed his hole. That was the only invite I needed. My tongue lunged from my mouth and with a long firm swipe, licked up his hairless, sweet ass. Ethan pulled off my cock and took a couple deep gasps, my cock soaked in saliva, cooled as the fresh air crashed over it. I felt Ethan's balls nudge against my chin as his cock spewed more and more cock honey onto my chest.

He tasted sweeter every time. I lapped at his puckered entrance, still steel tight as I dug my fingers into his crack and pulled his cheeks apart, shoving my face into his body, snacking on the sweetest hole known to man.


"Ahhh... A'ahhhh... Fuck... Mmm... YEAH... stick your tongue up there... AAWWHH GOD!" I whispered rather loudly, arching my back as I felt Logan's talented tongue slowly penetrate me.

His lips locked around my hole as his strong tongue twisted and turned, sliding in and out. I shut my eyes and grabbed one of my ass cheeks, spreading myself for him. I grinned as I felt Logan's stubble gnaw on my sensitive skin, scraping me as he dined on my body. I'd almost come to expect Logan to always have a day's growth when he ate my ass, it wouldn't be the same if he didn't.

I opened my eyes as I held Logan's cock in my hands, still hard as a rock and leaking over my fingers, a shimmering mixer of spit and pre-cum. I bent back down and sucked him back into my mouth, salty and sweet as I enjoyed his meat in my mouth and his tongue in my ass. I pulled Logan's pants and boxers off his thighs and over his knees. He kicked and some how was able to free his legs as his shed garments bunched at the head of the bed.

I ground my ass into his mouth as he thrust his cock into mine. This was hot. I learned quickly that the harder I sucked on his cock the harder he tongue-fucked my hole. I was getting close, Logan's had me almost collapsed on top of him as his ass-eating had me seeing stars, his large hands squeezing and occasionally slapping my ass cheeks. So far we had tried to keep our moaning to a minimum and as hushed as possible, but with Logan as a boyfriend, and with what he was doing... that was a hard request to keep.

Right when I thought I was about give, he detached his lips from my hole as his tongue slipped from me. My hole tingled warmly, cooling in the air as he licked downward, at the skin between my balls and my ass. I felt his raspy tongue swipe at my nut sack. I moaned around his huge cock still in my mouth, sucking on it violently every time he did something that had me howling his name in my mind. He sucked one ball into his mouth and then the other, his tongue almost juggling them as he devoured them simultaneously while holding my hips with his huge paws.

He finally released my balls from his hungry mouth as he gave them one more lick. With his hand still on my hips he pulled my groin up and over his face. I pulled off his cock and looked between our bodies. His eyes locked on my throbbing tool, his tongue occasionally peeking out as he wrapped his fingers around it, stroking it slowly as a thick drop of cock honey collected at the tip. His tongue darted out as he licked up my shaft, taking in my pre-cum.

"Mmmm... sweet. I heard him mumble to himself as his mouth opened, consuming my cock, his burning tongue scribbling on the underside as it entered. His hands held my body still as he sucked on about half of me. I sucked Logan's cock back into my mouth as he gently began pulling my ass down, filling more of his mouth with my cock. The warm wetness had me moaning in my gut. It felt like I was sucking my own cock, well not entirely, Logan was a big boy after all. I just considered myself an average size.

Logan finally pulled off me, licking my cock one more time before I did the same. I crawled off of him and fell on his bed, me on my back, breathing heavily as Logan crawled over and rested on top of me. Our legs tangled together as his right hand felt up my side, mine clawing at his muscular back as he licked and bit at my neck, slowly working his way to my mouth. He ground his cock into mine, smearing his cock snot all over my abs as we finally kissed, letting each other's flavors mix. My god, could he ever do anything that didn't make me feel better than great.


Every part of his body held a different flavor, and right now all I wanted was to taste his lips. His fingers scratched at my back as I kissed him with all the force I had left in me. I wanted to feel that sated feeling, I wanted to feel drained and tired with Ethan in my arms. I ended the kiss as I extracted my tongue from his mouth. He opened his eyes and warmly smiled at me. I scooted back a bit and rested my head on his chest, feeling every breath along side his heart beat.

We laid there as I drew circles on his chest as he brushed his finger tips across my back, my cock still hard as steel as I felt Ethan's pulse against my abs. I moved my head and opened my mouth, letting my tongue leisurely lap at his nipple in front of me. I heard him hiss as he flung his head back into my pillow.

"You wanna start again?" he murmured as he inflated his chest, letting me swath his hard and sensitive nipple in complete erotic comfort. I gave it one more long lick before I was kissing his sternum and then his neck, biting at him, hoping I'd leave a mark to calm mind, telling myself that 'this', this beauty I had in my steel grasp was mine. I hummed into his neck as his legs wrapped around my waist. Before I knew what had happened I was the one on my back and Ethan was the on top of me, his hands on either side of my head, looking at me with a mischievous smile. I really didn't understand all the perks of having martial arts, Tae Kwan do, Bruce Lee boyfriend, but I had to admit, besides the killer body, there were some pretty nice perks, like the reversals he could pull, like one he pulled just now.

"What the fuck?" I said in amazement as I looked up at him, smiling excitedly.

"Too fast for ya?" he said almost gloating.

"No." I said calmly as I rested back into my bed, holding his trim waist in my hands, letting my thumbs rub his soft skin as he looked at my face in wonder.

"What?" I said, intriguingly amused.

He smiled again and closed his eyes. He looked embarrassed to tell me. But that made want to know even more.

"WHAT?!" I said, rather loudly as I tickled his sides, my fingers digging into his hard body as he laughed and tried to stop me with one hand. When I stopped he looked down at me and with one hand, caressed my temple and then combed through my hair.

"When someone mentions Mr. Right... ooorrrrr... Prince Charming, I would think that they picture you."

I blushed as I smiled, averting my eyes as I laughed.

"Okay. So what do YOU think of me?" I asked, curious for an answer.

I watched him shut his eyes as he smirked. When he opened them he sat up, straddling my crotch as he looked down at me, lust billowing in his coffee brown eyes. He got off me, kneeling beside me he took hold of my shoulder.

"Roll over." was all he said, commanding yet soft as he gazed at me, looking me over as I laid in front of him. I did as he instructed and rested on my stomach, the side of my face in my pillow, my legs slightly parted as I felt Ethan re-straddle me, his powerful thighs on each side as his crotch draped across my ass. I sighed and shut my eyes as I felt his cock rest in the crevice of my firm muscular ass. I felt Ethan lean forward as he kissed my spine, right between my shoulder blades. His mouth finally came to my ear.

"What do I think of you?" he whispered into my ear. I shuddered as his warm breath and words crashed across my skin, his hands feeling from my tapered waist up to my broad shoulders.

"I think you're, handsome..."

He licked the edge of my ear, as I shut my eyes.

"... rugged..."

He licked my neck, biting it as he ended.

"...perfect..." he whispered as his hands gripped my shoulders.

My breath went long and labored as he gently began nibbling right where my shoulder met my neck. His hips began a gentle rock as his cock wedged itself deeper in the crack of my ass. I raised my crotch up off the bed, allowing Ethan's flawless cock to nestle perfectly between my cheeks. I melted into the mattress and groaned into my pillow as he was now biting and sucking on my ear, his cock spewing his sweet nectar on to my ass and lower back.

"Uhhmm... Ethan... fuck me... awhh GOD fuck me." I cried into the pillow as he licked my ear and whispered, "Gotta get you ready first."

I nodded as he jumped off me and onto the floor. I opened my eyes to the sound of his footsteps on the carpet.

"Look on Terry's desk," I instructed, mumbling into my pillow, "They gave away free sex stuff a couple days ago on campus."

Ethan gave a questioning smile as I watched him turn back around and rummage through all the shit on Terry's desk, digging passed a few stacks of paper and god knows what else.

"Gotcha." he said as he threw the little bottle up, spinning it as he caught it. He turned back around, his eyes sparkling as he smiled. God, I needed him.

I dropped my head back into my pillow, a little over half of my face visible as I seductively smiled back at him. He walked back and got back on top of me. I felt his weight sink me into to mattress as he straddled my hips. His warm palm and fingers feeling up my back as I heard the bottle top snap.

Breathing slowly I felt my entire body burn cold as Ethan smeared his KY coated fingers across my quivering hole. I felt it pucker at the cool sensation. He ran his middle and index fingers up and over it, across and around. I heard him coo as he then pressed his thumb at my now slick and slippery entrance.

"Aahhhh. Yeah." I whispered into the pillow as his thick thumb slowly, lovingly, buried itself into my eager ass. I felt my ring stretch, relaxed as his knuckle slid into me. Nothing uncomfortable, nothing painful.


Of all the times I had seen my boyfriend naked I never really paid attention to his ass, or his back. I mean with a cock like his? Combine that with his chest, abs and arms, I was happily satisfied. But as I rested on top of him I was blown away by the sight before me. My eyes spanned across his delts and lats spreading out in sheer brawn, narrowing as his muscles flowed into his waist. His firm, round, solid and slightly furry globes, perfect as he laid there in front of me.

I listened to his soft whimpers and watched his body tremble slightly as I dug and then buried my thick digit into his volcanic ass. He was hot and snug as I slowly extracted my finger. Logan exhaled deeply as I watched the muscles of his back ripple as they flexed, like the surface of a pond.
My thumb fell out of him as his hole shrunk under my fingertip. I licked my lips and brushed his hole again with my thumb, smearing the now warm lube over it as it I felt it wink at me. In the mean time, I had a fist full lube as I gently rubbed it over myself, covering every inch of my cock with delicate strokes.

I licked my lips as I felt a sudden urge to taste him, like he had me. But with him coated in lube... that would have to wait. I wondered, was it as great giving as it was receiving?

I ran my slick fingers back up his crack and gently slid my middle finger back into his fiery hole as it sucked in my fingertip. I watched my knuckles disappear until my finger bottomed out. I watched in awe as I held it still, knowing that he had to get used to my invasion. He moaned beneath me as I watched the shadows of his back flare as he tensed, his ass milking my motionless digit. I curled my finger slightly as I pulled out, feeling something knotted and hard.

"AAAHHH... AWWHHH." Logan cried out beneath me as I felt the vibration of his body through my lone finger. That must be it. I knew exactly what he was feeling. I heard him hiss at me as I slowly pressed my finger back into his hot and hungry hole, his legs parting under me as his calf muscles knotted. Getting a little braver I pressed my index finger against his hole as well, a companion for my middle finger. He groaned, nothing painful sounded from his lips. His ass arched up as I watched my fingers disappear and then reappear, his ass gently thrusting back every time I entered, massaging that secret spot inside of him, making him squirm and toss under me.

"Awwhhhh god, Ethan. FUCK ME!!! I need the real thing, fuck me... Dammit," he cursed, not asking but demanding. I bit my lip and smiled, beside myself, giving his hole one more thrust, twisting as I finally pulled out of him, his tight anal ring, slick and wet as I circled it a few times with my fingertips.

I bent over him, my chest against his back, my hardened nipples poking his lats as I let the head of my cock poke at his quivering, hungry hole. I listened to the need in his breath and felt the desperate pressure of his ass as he pressed back into me. I bit the back of his shoulder, licking his slightly salty skin as I breathed heavily.


I felt like warm honey. I didn't understand why I didn't just melt and seep into the mattress. I felt the warmth of his breath collide with the skin of my shoulder as it sounded in my ear. I hissed again, half my mouth in my pillow as I bit my lower lip, harder than usual as Ethan increased his constant pressure in my aching hole, his hard knob coaxing me open I pressed my ass muscles outward, inviting him in.

He'd been holding his breath and finally released as I sighed, feeling his thick head finally rest inside my excited hole. There was no gentle pain like last time, his size was perfect. I arched my body against his as he slid deeper in me, inch by slow inch. I shut my eyes and held my breath, only letting tiny gasps escape my lips as he finally bottomed out.

"AWWWHHH... FFFUUUCCCKKK," I groaned out as Ethan stayed still, his breath on my neck labored.

I savored the feeling of his soft pubes as they graced the edge of my ass, his low hanging balls as they gently tapped my perineum. I felt my entire body flex as he slowly began to pull out. I heard my own breath cut off as I felt the crown of his cock nudge and then grind against my swollen butt-nut.

My mind instantly went blank. A black blanket with tiny gleaming dots fell over my eyes. I felt Ethan pull out until just the crown was still in me, and then slowly ram in back into me. His cock felt like it lodged itself deep in my gut as he bottomed out with a grunt.

"Awwhh, Logan... you feel so fuckin' good," he whispered, low and husky in my ear.

He gave me a long thrust before I said anything, "Give it to me Ethan... give it to me hard."

I felt his teeth dig into my flesh as his cock pulled back, almost out of me then back in. He was building up to it, like a crescendo, his thrust getting shorter and faster. I was now entirely breathing out of my mouth, my cock leaking a mess onto my comforter as I grunted and whispered profanities into my pillow. God, this felt wonderful, I fit him like a glove.

"Ahh... you feel so good up there... fuck me, yeah, fuck my hole...." I managed to gasp out.

Ethan grunted and groaned into my back, his balls slapping against my ass as his hips did the same. I saw temporary stars as every beautiful thrust of his hit my joy button, slamming it into nirvana. The slow and gentle thrusts were gone, now all that was left was his primal male instinct to rut. I raised my ass and matched each powerful thrust as it felt the wind was being knocked out of me.

I held my mouth open as I took in deep, rapid breaths. I felt one of Ethan's hands caress up my back, and onto my neck. I sucked two of his fingers into my mouth and sucked on them, feeling his other hand grip my waist. By the rate of fucking and the sounds he was making, he couldn't keep this up for long. It was okay with me though. I wasn't gonna last long either.


I bit his shoulder again, trying to keep myself from crying out in pure pleasure. I closed my eyes and felt his talented ass milk me harder, every time I pulled out his ass would grip me, like it was sucking the life out of me. Whatever he was doing it had me biting into his hard flesh. I felt my cock head slam against his prostate, I knew I was hitting the spot. I know I would be moaning like a cheap whore if Logan was the one slamming it like I was his.

I let the flavor of his skin seep into my tongue as I felt my thrusts uncontrollably increase in speed and power. I felt my own body beginning to drain, like all my energy was being charged up. I felt my toes begin to curl and my fingertips go numb. My breath went to barely manageable gasps as I felt my muscles tense as I fell on his back. I closed my eyes as the wave crashed over my body, rolling from toes and my head, meeting in my crotch as I felt it rip through my throbbing cock.

"Aaahhh... Logan... I'm....cuuu... Awwwhhh... I'm cumming." I said into his back, as I felt the long think spray of cum coat his inner walls.

I felt his ass clench and then bite at my cock still lodged deep within him. I felt his large muscles twitch and then tense. I listened to his breath as he held it still and then groaned my name, the words long and sated, "Awwwhhh god, Ethan.... AWWWHHH, FUCK!"

His ass held me hard, and all I could do was lay completely still on top of him. His breath returned to normal as I let my sweaty body rest completely on his equally sweaty back. I bit my lip and lifted myself off of him. My well worked and satisfied cock slipped lovingly from his well worked hole. My cock fell cool, already missing it's new favorite place.

Logan rolled over, smiling as he rested his head back into his pillow relaxed, sated as his arms extended gently to me. I crawled back over and fell into his loving embrace. My cheek on his chest, as my hands held his sides. He wrapped his arms around my back as he kissed my hair.

"Thank you for loving me Ethan." Logan said. It was a whisper but it was powerful.

I felt a tug in my chest, a sweet feeling I showed as I kissed his pecs, letting the fine sweat matted hairs brush my lips. I brought my hands and rested them under my chin as I looked at him, smiling affectionately.

"You make it sound like a chore." I replied.

He looked at me sheepishly and laughed at himself.

"No matter what anyone says... you're my knight in shinning armor." I said making him smile wildly.

I don't know what happened after that. Maybe it was that sleepy feeling that always followed after great sex. The next thing I knew my eye lids felt twice as heavy, Logan's warm scent wrapping me in fuzzy feelings, my breath slowing as I mind welcomed me into my dream world.

Logan was there, so I was happy.


I rubbed my eyes open as I felt Ethan laying half on top of me, his cheek in a pillow as
his chest rested against mine, his arm flung across me. I had thrown a sheet over us last night, with the air on it did get a little nippy. I had pulled the comforter off the bed and threw it over the hamper; gotta wash that soon.

I soaked in the picture of his back in the muted morning sunlight, glowing as he rested there, the white sheet covering half of his perfect as he slept soundly. I guess one of the perks of a twin size bed was that it forced us almost on top of each other, not that I didn't like Ethan's full size bed.

I groaned as I stretched slightly, raising my arms over my head and unintentionally moving the entire bed. I looked down just in time to see Ethan's coffee brown eyes flash in brilliance in the warm morning sun.

"Morning sleepyhead." I said as I turned over facing him, our heads in the same pillow, "You sleep well?" I asked, grinning at him, feeling my morning stubble scrape the smooth cotton of my pillow cover.

Ethan smiled back and stretched too, the light stubble on his face giving him that Mediterranean charm. Not that he was Mediterranean, but his mix of white and Native American set my eyes ablaze.

"Like a baby." he said he inched forward and kissed me deeply. The moment was almost perfect... almost.

Suddenly I heard the door swing open and saw Terry walk in with his bag. It all happened so quick. I jumped out of my bed, my feet tangled in the sheet as I fell with a thud on my ass.

What the hell was he doing back so early?

I kicked myself for not hearing him unlock the door. Ethan, in the mean time, had his head covered by the sheet, not saying anything. Terry looked down at me almost gawking. I looked down also and saw that I had my knees open showing him all my goods. I grabbed the corner of the sheet and pulled it over me, blushing and completely embarrassed.

"Terry, what the hell are you doing back so early?" I asked just a little bit angry but a whole lot more embarrassed.

"Uhh... Oh well... I... I..." was all I heard as he took a quick uncomfortable look around the room, lowering his head and walking backwards, stepping back into the hall as he shut the door.

Ethan's head peeked out from under the sheet laughing, "Well you handled that like a pro."

I smiled as I laughed on an exhale and jumped back into the bed, straddling him as I tickled his sides. He laughed as he tried to buck me off him, grabbing at my wrists, and kicking his legs.

"No. STOP!!" he said in between laughs. The next thing I knew his feet crossed my chest and yanked me back into the bed. It was a swift move, but the next thing I knew I was on my back with Ethan straddling me. He looked down at me and grinned, a victor's smile.

"Hey, no karate tricks. That's not fair." I mockingly protested, accepting my defeat.

"You're being bigger than me." he smiled as he looked over my body and leisurely felt up my abs and pecs, looking back into my eyes, "It's totally fair."

"Okay fine, I give, you win. But I think a consolation kiss is in order."

He smiled back and nodded, agreeing with my terms. If losing was this good, I wonder what I get if I win?


We were both completely dressed in a matter of minutes. My tee shirt was dry, although I wish I could have said the same about my jeans and hoodie. I wasn't even gonna bother thinking about my shoes. I guess without a dryer you could never fully dry them over night.

Logan on the other hand was dressed comfortably in fresh, clean, DRY clothing as I stood there and watched him pull on his sneakers without tying his shoes. He stood up and held his hands out, raising his eyebrows as he smiled, gesturing that this was his idea of ready.

I smiled back at him, as I threw my still damp hoodie over my shoulder and took a good look at him. I liked how his shirts showed off his powerful chest, and how he filled out his sleeves when he flexed his arms. He had thrown on a pair of faded jeans, along with a navy blue T-shirt he had bough at a store I usually shopped at; a familiar skater brand logo pasted across his chest.

I nodded at him as he grabbed his keys off his barren desk and walked over to me, grabbing my waist and pulling me into him. I brought my arms around his as he grinned at me, his fingers sliding up my shirt, feeling up my lower back. He picked at the waistband of his white boxers which I had decided to wear today. I flinched lightly as the cold keys in his hand tapped against my skin.

"So... later can I peel these off with my teeth?" He said wickedly smiling as he snapped his boxers against my skin. I shut my eyes and shook my head happily at him.

"Little fuckin' pervert." I said as I opened my eyes.

He looked at me in mock anger, "WHAT?!... LITTLE?! I'm sorry babe. There ain't nothing LITTLE about me."

I laughed in his arms as I pressed my thumbs into the sides of his abs, making him flinch as it tickled.

"Yeah, you're right." I said as my smile faded, looking up into his brilliant blue eyes and then at the door. I looked back down between us.

"You ready?" he asked, seeing the hesitation in my face. Terry was outside that door. He's already seen Logan, naked, falling out of his bed with 'someone else' hiding under the sheets. When I walked out that door with Logan, he was gonna know everything.

"We can stay here." Logan proposed, hoping to make me feel better. I shook my head at him. As wonderful as yesterday and last night was, today I had class and there was no way I was gonna wear clammy clothes and soggy sneakers all day. I took the first few steps backwards towards the door. A

s his hands fell from my waist I caught one and dragged him with me, grabbing the door knob with the other. As the door peered open I let his fingers drop as I looked up at him. He smiled lightly back at me as I opened the door and stepped out, Logan following close behind.


The hall was sparsely filled. No one seemed to pay attention to anyone in the morning. Ethan looked around as I noticed Terry there leaned against the wall in his windbreaker, his over night bag at his feet. He looked up at me and then at Ethan. Ethan smiled casually as he walked passed him, Terry's cold blue eyes lingering on him as he walked out of his peripheral vision.

I felt the muscles in my face and neck tense as I mentally told him, "Terry, don't you even fucking think about him." I followed Ethan and slowed as I turned to Terry.

"Room's all yours." I said nonchalantly, Terry noticing my expression as Ethan slowed and turned to wait for me a few yards away.

Terry picked up his bag, "Logan?"

I stopped, surprised as I turned around to look at him. He lowered his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Forget it." he said casually as he turned and walked towards the room.

My face went puzzled. What the hell? Was that Terry trying to talk to me? I wrestled with the thought as I turned around and saw Ethan there, a confused look on his face as well.

We walked out of the dorm building and onto campus. It was still a little early. The sun was out but still hadn't managed to dry up all the puddles on the sidewalk.

"What was that all about?" Ethan asked, turning his head towards me as he basked in the warm morning sun, I guess to aid in drying off his clothes.

"I dunno... it's just Terry. Fuckin' weird as ever." I said as I stuffed my hands in my pockets.

It was no time when we reached Ethan's apartment complex. We walked up the stairs as Ethan pulled his keys from his pocket.

"Surprised they didn't rust." he said, smiling at me as he opened the door. Ethan threw his damp hoodie over a dining table chair as he peeled his shirt off, walking towards his room as I closed the door behind me. I watched him from behind, taking in the view of his back, his lats and delts flexing as he pulled his shirt from his body.

"God, I'd kill for a shower." he said as he messed up his hair, gripping his shirt in the other hand. I walked with him to his room as he opened the door.

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" I heard yelled out as Ethan walked in. I refocused on Adam sitting there on Terrance's bed, tensed and mortified with embarrassment. He was obviously naked under the blanket he had clutched around his waist. I laughed at the sight as I smiled at him and nodded in pride.

Ethan looked entirely shocked. Just then the bathroom door swung open behind us as Terrance walked out, naked also, yawing, "Ada-..."

He saw us there, froze for a second then quickly jumped behind the door.

"WHAT ARE YOU FUCKERS DOING HERE?" he demanded as he tried to hide himself as best as he could.

Ethan threw his shirt at him, "I live here," he said, stating the obvious.

Terrance rolled his eyes at him.

"And Jeff and Grant?" Ethan asked, folding his arms over his bare chest.

"They went to go see Lance and Justin." Terrance said from behind the door.

"Who?" Ethan asked.

"A couple of guys from the Air Force base." Terrance said as I walked into Ethan and Terrance's room, leaving Ethan to sort out the details with Terrance. I sat next to Adam on Terrance's bed. Adam looked petrified as he grasped the blanket around him and tightened it even more.

I laughed at him, "Dude, I've seen you naked a hundred times over."

"Yeah, but not like this." he whispered as he looked down at his lap.

I rested back on my hands, "So how was it?"

Adam looked away and smiled, blushing as he took a deep breath.

"Fuckin' awesome." he said smiling as he looked up at me.

"So he's the one." I stated, looking back at Ethan and Terrance swapping details. Terrance had managed to get a towel to wrap around his waist as they both stood in the hallway in front of the open bedroom door.

Adam looked at Terrance as his voice went soft, "He's the one."

I smiled back at him and wrapped my arm around his neck, "Well... congrats buddy. Welcome to married life."

Adam laughed along with me as Ethan finally nodded his head and walked into the room. He looked at Adam as he laughed on an exhale, shaking his head.

He then looked at me, "Come on 'Conan the Barbarian,' lets let the newly weds get decent," he said nodding his head towards the door. Adam gave me a humorously puzzled look. "Conan?" he mouthed at me.

"The beard." I mouthed back, not actually saying the words as I ran my palm along my stubbly face as I got up while Ethan quickly pulled a pair of jeans and a shirt form his drawer and followed me out. Terrance gave us both cynical smiles as he walked back into room and shut the door. Ethan had his clean clothes wadded up in front of him as he dashed towards the living room.

"Come on Logan." he said as he stopped at the end of the hall, "You can help me undress."

Now who could pass up an offer like that?

End of Chapter Eleven -- Heaven Must Exist