Love's given up on me chapter 9



Loves Given up On me

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Love's Given up on Me: Part 1

Chapter 9: For You

"Turn left here,... I think," Ethan said.

I stopped, signaled and did as Ethan instructed. So far we had been wandering the suburbs for 30 minutes in Jeff's truck looking for Derek and Christian's house. I had agreed to go with Ethan and help them move. It was Saturday morning. I got up extra early today, didn't watch Saturday morning cartoons and left the dorm at about 6 am. I jogged to Ethan's apartment and found that Jeff had agreed to lend us his truck for the morning. The only thing we had to do was fill her up.

I watched as Ethan grew a little more frustrated as I think we made a circle. He looked sexy angry, pulling his own hair as he ran his fingers through it. I talked him out of wearing a cap today, after a little defensive argument, and a lot of begging on my part, he finally gave in. I loved how the light morning glow showed the highlights of his hair and skin; how his eyes, even though frustrated, flickered at me.

Still holding onto the wheel I looked at him, slouched on the passenger side looking at the street signs as they passed.

"Why don't you just call him?" I said, looking from the road to his face.

His mouth opened, trying to protest but knowing I was right. He reluctantly pulled his cell phone from the pocket of his shortcuts. He stared at the screen and slowly dialed the number. I loved it when I was right.

Finally having directions we pulled up to a white and blue house that had a moving U-Haul truck out in front. We parked on the other side of the street and slowly walked over, looking at the house. I wasn't amazingly large but it wasn't small either. It was a two-story house with a porch and a big tree out front, who knew what kind. The house looked perfect. Like the kind you see in the movies with a golden retriever out front. The only thing missing was the white picket fence. As we walked closer we noticed that they already had boxes and furniture out on the lawn.

I then heard, "Hey, you guys made it!"

I looked up so see a guy on the porch about Ethan's height; short, curly black hair and equally dark eyes. I guess them both being marital artists explained the body resemblance. Although I could tell he was older than both of us but not by much, maybe mid-twenties. He quickly stepped down the stairs as a larger guy appeared behind him, not as big as Garrett, but still impressive. He was an older guy. If I was to guess he was about thirty. He had short hair that laid flat with a good week's beard, the same auburn color of his hair. He smiled at Ethan then looked at me and nodded, his kind brown eyes telling me that I was welcome. I smiled and nodded back.

I looked at Ethan talking to who I imagined was Christian....? I looked back at the older of the two, Derek? I still wasn't sure who was who. As I was left standing there alone I noticed that we all wore shorts today, khaki to be exact. Although Ethan's seemed to be camo printed, skater's style I guess. I smiled as I stared at Ethan from behind, still conversing with his friend. I liked him in shorts. For the most part he wore jeans, but personally I liked watching his calves flex as he walked. I also noticed that except for Derek we were all comfortably dressed in t-shirts. Derek had on a wife beater that showed off most of his upper body; bigger and harrier than I was. I was beginning to feel that for a football jock, I was a runt. But then again I had to remember that I was only 19. He was in shape and form what Ethan told me, he was a master down at the dojo.

Christian, I hope I got their names right, continued to talk with Ethan as Derek walked up to me and extended his hand, "Derek King."

Awesome! I got the names right. I had my hand half way extended when I looked up at him.

"You're not gonna break my wrist if I shake your hand are you?"

My hand now about an inch from his as he grabbed it into a good firm hand shake and laughed, "No kid, I'm not."

"Ok then, I just assumed if Ethan could kill a guy with his arms tied behind his back, then you could.... yeah."

I smiled with embarrassment, "Logan Rian."

"Rian?" he looked me interested, "Colorado All-state football quarterback?"

Fucking 'A.' Someone knew! My smile went even more cheesy as my face burned red like I was about to burst into flames.

"Yeah... uh... that's me."

"So you're the one that's gonna pull the University team out of the pits."

I rubbed the back of my neck as I tried not to let all the compliments go to my head.

"Well, for now I'm just back up. On field couch wants Racker out."

"Oh, the senior," Derek said folding his arms, his look going somewhat depressed.

"Well you didn't come all the way form Colorado to just sit on the bench," he said, looking at me with a smile.

"Yeah I know, I'm a freshman, it's understandable," I said shrugging my shoulders.

"But you show 'em what you got. All-state don't stand for nothin'."

"Yeah, I guess not," I said nodding my head, "But how did you know I was form Colorado and.... uh, All-state?"

I looked at Derek who was about to answer when I heard someone cut in.

"That's because he's from the big 'CO' and obsessed with anything football."

I looked over to see Christian and Ethan standing next to us, side by side, Ethan in a friendly head lock. Ethan smiled casually at both of us, Christian completely grinning at Derek. Derek looked down and softly smiled to himself.

"Ok, now that that's out... I'm from Boulder."

"Boulder... cool, I'm from...."

"Denver," Derek said, finishing my sentence and nodding, his arms still folded, "Yeah, I read all about you when your high school won state."

"Oh," I said, "Then I guess I really don't have to explain myself."

Smiling, I turned my attention to Christian and his arm around my boyfriend.

"Oh," Christian said, "I'm such a dick," letting go of Ethan and extending his hand.

"Christian Haily, Anaheim California."

I shook his hand and replied, "Logan Rian."

"Ah," he said letting go of my hand.

"So uhh.... you and Ethan....." he said pointing at the both of us, smiling.

I think I blushed harder than before as I looked at my feet with my hands in my pockets. Ethan hung his head. I don't think he liked coming out to people, especially his friends. I think saying it scared him more than showing it. I really didn't mind at all. After Scott, I felt like I could tell almost anyone. But neither Ethan nor I went blaring it around town, I liked to think that were discrete, telling only the people that mattered.... like our friends. It seemed almost imperative that they at least know. I really wanted us to be ourselves around them, whether it was with Terrance, Grant and Jeff or Scott, Liz, Dave and Garrett.... and now Christian and Derek. It felt good to at least get the whole 'coming out' out of the way. We had better thing to do than worry.

I heard Ethan take a deep breath and then sigh, "Yeah... we're ahh... together."

I looked over at him as he weakly smiled back at me. Insecure and reluctant, I still loved him.

Chris pointed at me and Logan. The conversation we had earlier was practically just him teasing me about playing for the other team and then now happily switching sides for a cute football jock. He was almost as bad as Terrance when it came to giving me shit. Well at least Chris said I had good taste and that Logan was a keeper.

I smiled and hung my head, sighing as I looked at my feet.

"Yeah... we're ahh... together."

I could almost hear them grinning. I felt a little uneasy saying it but I knew I wanted to tell them, whether it was now or later, preferably now since they were moving. And besides, I really wanted them to meet Logan. Personally, I'd rather have them ask than having me flat out say it.

I looked back up at Chris and Derek, who both smiled and nodded at me, and then at Logan, his smile small but heartfelt. I talked to him in my head, "Sorry I'm not as strong as you want me to be."

I then heard Derek, "Well.... why don't we go inside?"

Me and Logan looked at each other and fallowed him and Chris inside. Inside the house was bare, the only things out were a few pieces of furniture. With all of us in what was the living room, Logan, a little shy, stepped up Derek.

"Derek?" Logan hesitated, "Uh... Ethan said that we could be ourselves around you and Christian. That you two were together."

Derek chuckled to himself and grabbed Chris by the waist. Chris looked at him, smiling uncontrollably. Derek smiled back at Logan, "Yeah, can't you tell."

Logan looked as if his face lit up as he turned to me. I shrugged my shoulders, "What'd I say."

He laughed under his breath and gestured me to come closer, "Well get over here."

I hung me head, smiling as I walked over and let my fingers fall into his. I tried to ignore the stares and looks Chris and Derek were giving me. I bit my lip, looking away and scratching my head. Them of all people knew 3 months ago I was arguing with them saying things like, "I don't need to date, I don't need anyone, love isn't for me." And then here I was, standing in front of them, in their house with my hand interlocked with another guy who made me feel like I was on top of the world. I was drop shit embarrassed, caught in my own lie.

"Uh... why don't we make some breakfast first?" Chris said looking at Derek, "We still haven't packed up the kitchen."

"Sure," he said looking at Chris then at us, "You two hungry?"

The truth, I was, and for sure Logan was. I noticed that a guy his size had to be refueling constantly. As I looked over at him his stomach rumbled. I snickered as Chris and Derek tried not to laugh.

"I'll take that as a yes," Derek commented.

Logan turned to me, "Sorry," he whispered.

I smiled as a remark and pecked him on the lips. He seemed content and lightened up as his lips slowly curled, forming a smile.

"It's nothin'," I said staring into him and smirking.

"Well.... It's gettin' HOT in here I think!" Chris yelled from the kitchen.

"SHUT UP CHRIS!" I yelled back, Derek laughing. I guess deep down I did like being acknowledged as in a relationship, even if it did come in the form of teasing.

I reverted my attention back to Logan, "Come on babe, let's eat."

They didn't make us anything over the top at all. We all sat on the floor. The table had already been taken apart and put away. The four of us sat with plates full of pancakes, microwaved bacon and scrambled eggs, with a gallon of 2% milk and 4 Dixie cups. When we finally started eating I asked Derek as I poured maple syrup all over my breakfast.

"So where exactly are you two moving to again?"

Derek and Chris looked up. Chris slowly sipping his milk while Derek swallowed a bit of pancakes.

"St. Louis, job offer, company is paying for the move," Derek smiled at me, raising his brow.

"So what is it you do?" Logan asked, looking at Derek.

"I'm an attorney for an insurance company. And uhh... they need me in St. Louis."

"Oh," Logan said, "And the karate thing?"

"Well..." Derek said laughing, "That's a hobby, right?" he said looking at Chris stuffing his face. He nodded, his mouth full.

Derek looked back at Logan, "Even though me and Chris teach classes at the dojo. It's still not enough to pay the bills."

Logan nodded along with Derek, "So is that where you guys met?"

Chris now swallowing his food, "Yup," he said before Derek could even get a word out.

"Sensei here thought he could seduce me by putting his hands all over me to show me how to perfect my technique."

Derek looked straight forward, smiling as Chris turned towards him, trying to embarrass him.

"Well it worked didn't it?.... you jumped me that night."

"Fuck you!" Chris said jokingly.

Derek smiled coyly, "Said and done."

Chris' hand came up to smack him on the back of the head, a loving joke I'm sure. Faster than I thought, Derek had grabbed his hand before Chris could even counter and had it behind his back. The next thing we noticed was the both of them in a lip-lock. Chris, with his hands detained behind him and Derek feeling up Chris' leg. The kiss got deeper as I think they forgot that Logan and I were there. I looked at Logan who had his mouth open. I don't know if he was surprised about the wrist lock or the tongue wrestling. Ok.... this was enough.

"Agghhmm," I coughed loudly.

I watched them detach slowly. I sighed to myself. Watching them, I wanted to kiss Logan. But.... even in front of my friends, it still made my stomach flip. I looked over at Logan who smiled at me. Yeah, as much as I wanted to, maybe now wasn't the time.

Ethan always looked irresistible when he seemed caught up in his thoughts. It reminded that he wasn't just there for me to look at, a pretty face. He turned to me as Christian and Derek took a long ass time to finish sucking face. His eyes almost spelled out how uncomfortable he was in front of other people. He didn't need to worry. I wasn't going to do anything, unless he wanted me to.

He smiled weakly, I think a little worried that his friends were a little too brash in front of someone they had just met.

"Umm.... sorry about that, "Christian said, me turning back to see them perfectly fine, adjusting themselves a little.

"You two must be a new couple," I said, looking at both of them. I think they knew where I was coming from. They eyed Ethan and I, knowing perfectly well that we didn't even have a month together and that Ethan wasn't entirely comfortable with himself.

"Uh.... a year," Derek said, looking at Christian.

"And uh... what about you Christian? I didn't get a chance to ask what you do."

"Oh," he said, taking a bite of scrambled eggs and then taking a sip of milk. I watched him as Derek eyed him. He wasn't a bad looking guy. A little older than I was but when did age matter these days. His eyes were dark, darker than Ethan's. But I did love how Ethan's eyes showed me my reflection. Christian's curly, dark hair was cut short. I'm guessing so it was less of a hassle. I could see why Derek fell in love with him. Although he was attractive, I didn't fell that jolt that I felt every time I looked at Ethan.

I fell out of my train of thought as Christian answered, "I'm finishing up school. This is my last year and I guess I'll have to finish in Missouri."

Derek's big arm came around Christian's shoulder. Christian looked down and sighed as Derek stroked his other arm. I was guessing that them moving to a part of the country where you have no friends or family was definitely hitting them hard. Christian looked back up, a smile on his face, Derek smiling warmly at him.

"So, Logan, tell me how you snagged Ethan."

Logan looked seriously caught by surprise as he looked at me. I gave Chris a 'none of your business' stare, just to get him back for putting Logan on the spot.

Chris stared back, "You know Logan, there's gonna be a ton of pissed of girls at the dojo if they find out they're barking up the wrong tree."

I could tell my face went snide, "Then I guess they won't find out, will they?"

Both of us traded wicked smiles as Derek spoke up to try to break up what ever showdown was about to happen.

"Ok, calm down kids..... ok? Well, I'm kinda interested to hear what's been going on between you two. The way you two look... can't help but ask," he said looking at Logan.

I took a slow sip of milk as Derek then looked at us both. Well, here we go again. Logan scratched his head, thinking about how to start the story. Come to think about it, I kinda liked hearing Logan tell about how we met. Helped me to remember what I felt that night, not that I could ever forget. But it reminded me that Logan was the only one for me. The only one who could ever make me feel the way I did.

"Well I've been wondering about you two for a while," Chris said eyeing both of us.

"We've only been together for like 2 weeks," I said modestly embarrassed.

Chris sighed and smiled at me, "No retard. I'm talking about before when you would come into practice and talk about him all fucking day."

Chris' vision now focused on Logan.

"Yeah, well.... uhh..." I tried to say in my defense. I hated being backed up into a wall. I felt a little uneasy until I looked at Logan who seemed warmed by the fact that, yeah I did talk about him a lot.

Chris continued, "Then I doubted it when Beth asked you out."

I shut my eyes and tried to erase that memory. But then I thought about it. If it hadn't happened than I wouldn't be here with Logan. We probably would've stayed friends, him in heartache and me in denial. The thought of us not together made me push the though aside completely .

"Yeah, Beth was a big mistake. But if it didn't happen I doubt we'd be where we are right now."

Logan and I stared at each other for a while. I guess I wasn't living a dream. Chris snapped us out of our trance.

"Ok, so let's hear some details now."

I hung my head and sighed. I was having an intimate moment with my boyfriend and he had to go and ruin it. I really didn't see why my love life was so interesting. Maybe it's because I hadn't had one since high school. I sat back as I let Logan answer the barrage of questions. I felt a mixed rush of embarrassment and warm emotion as he retold the scenic view and our first kiss. What went on at the apartment, a PG version, and about the other friends we had met.

"Wow, sounds like you two have been busy," Derek said, unfolding his arms. He then got up along with Chris to clean up.

"But you two haven't done anything, right?" he asked. Me and Logan looked at each other with our mouths open.

"Well....Uhhh.... not exactly," I said.

"Hmm..." he remarked. "Well, you don't wanna relationship based entirely on sex. I can tell that yours isn't, but it's good for a healthy relationship," he said as walked away.

Was that professional advice? He was an attorney, not a sex therapist. But then again, he was a gay man in a relationship. So that meant he had something else, experience. Logan and I hadn't come to that point, the actual sex part. But I was kinda confused. I mean how was it supposed to work? Do I top or does he?... Who was gonna bottom? I seriously had been thinking about it, to let Logan have me, but all of me. The thought was both romantic and chilling. I wanted to but then I thought about Logan's size. Seriously, it did scare me, probably one of the only things that did. I'd heard horror stories from Terrance, Grant and Jeff about tearing something or HIV or other shit like that. As much as I wanted to, the pain still had me withering on the inside. How could something that big fit into my body?

I looked at Logan as he continued to sit on the floor with me. His warm smile and his bright eyes, I didn't want to worry about size or pain. I just wanted him to hold me and tell me he'd never hurt me. I was willing to swallow a good chunk of my pride, if not all, and let him top. But then again I was a guy too and wondered, would he let me top? I wasn't gonna force him, even though I probably could. The thought of sex with Logan had me wondering, how did it feel? Sex was supposed to feel good right? Sex with another guy?... The guy I loved?

We finally began the moving process as I thought about what Derek mentioned. He was in a relationship and I guess he spoke from experience. I lifted up a box. I'm sure full of books from the weight. "It's good for a relationship," repeated over in my head. I wanted to have sex with Ethan, God did I want to. But then I thought about the whole size dilemma. His body was leaner than mine and after my little exploration a few nights ago, I knew some places were a little too tight for things as big as I was.

I dropped the box inside the moving truck and wiped my forehead. I thought back to the conversation me and Dave had. I remembered what he said. Was I ready to let Ethan do to me what I wanted to do to him? Or in other words, would I let him fuck me? I stood there for a moment. Well, I did let Tyson fuck me a few times. He wasn't as big as Ethan was. So, that just meant that it would take a little work. But as I pictured it my cock began to twitch in my pants, feeling Ethan's cock between my legs and me begging for more, his seven inches driving in and out of me. I smiled as I tried not to overload. I guess I was in agreement with my thoughts. I was a bigger guy so that meant I could take bigger things. Ethan was a little above average. He didn't look painful but I'm sure with a little prep I could take him easily. I smiled to myself. I loved figuring things out on my own.

I walked up to the sidewalk curb next to the moving truck and sat down. A trail of sweat rolled off my forehead. I wiped it off with the back of my hand as I heard footsteps in the grass behind me. I turned to see Derek with a bottle of drinking water. I smiled as he sat down next to me.

"Thirsty?" he said as he held out the bottle.

"Yeah," I said casually as I took it and twisted off the cap. It was cold, ice cold compared to the heat of the day. I took a swig as it chilled its way down my throat and into my stomach. The bottle almost empty, I put it down and looked at Derek, looking out into the street.


"No prob," he said as he took a sip from his bottle, "You're a lucky guy Logan."

I looked at him and wondered where that comment came from. He continued to look out at the street then at me.

"Ethan's a good kid. One of the best students I've ever had the pleasure of training. Good looking too, although he refuses to believe it."

"I know," I said smiling weakly at him.

"Well, I'm glad he found you," he said, a praising smile forming on his face. "You know he's hasn't always been this happy. He's had to wrestle his load of demons to get where he is right now."

I looked at him knowing that I knew very little about his family and even less about his past.

"It's a nice change to see him smile more often. And I can see that you make him happy."

I looked back down at my feet and smiled to myself. If only Derek knew how happy Ethan made me feel.

"Keep him happy Logan. He's like my kid brother, and I don't want to see him go through some of those problems again. No one should."

I looked back up at Derek, his face serious but sincere. I could see that he really did care for Ethan. If there was anyone that wanted Ethan happy, that person was me.

"I will... I... I love him."

Derek smiled, satisfied.

"Then I don't have to worry, do I?"

I shook my head as he swung his arm around my neck and mussed my hair. I laughed lightly as he replied, "You're a good kid too Logan Rian."

I smiled on the inside. Love was a good thing.

"So is this where Derek pounds your brains out every night?" I said as a joke as Chris and I stood in an empty room with only a bed left to move.

"POUNDED!" Chris said with a stern face, "Past tense, we're moving, remember?"

"Oh yeah," I replied as the both of us walked up to the bed. We both lifted up the mattress and proceeded to carry it out of the room. Once in the hall I spoke out, "Hey Chris, so you guys gonna sell this place? I didn't see any advertisement out front."

As we made our way down stairs Chris poked his head out from behind the mattress.

"Oh...nah. Derek wants to keep the place, beats me why."

"Oh," I said as I thought back to my first days here and when I first came to the dojo. I remember Chris telling me that he moved out of his apartment when he and Derek got serious and moved into his house, this house. I guess for Derek this place had some sentimental value. We got down the stairs and out on the porch. We dropped the mattress as I looked out on the lawn to see Derek and Logan sitting on the curb. They turned to see us, got up, and wiped the dead grass off the backs of their shorts and walk towards us.

"Almost empty?" Derek said, making his way across the lawn.

Chris shook his head and smiled, "Nope, still got the bed frame. But other than that the upstairs is a go."

Derek shot Chris one of those teethy grins as Chris tapped my shoulder, motioning me back inside with a tilt of his head. Once back inside he turned to me and said, "So, Steve getting you ready for the competition?"

"Yup," I said confidently.

"You ready for it? Once Christmas break is over, it's the next big thing."

"Yeah," I said as I slowed my pace and looked at the carpet for a split second. Then quickly back up at him so as not to show how unprepared I really felt. He looked back at me smiling. I don't think he noticed.

We made our way up the stairs when Chris asked, "So you think you'll see John there?"

I froze where I stood on the stairs.

"John Walker?" I said, looking deep at Chris.

"Yeah," he said looking at me like he was sorry, standing a few steps above me.

"Chris, you know what happened between me and John. I... really don't want to see him so soon.... or ever for a matter of fact."

Chris took a step down, "I know it sucks having to remember, but... he's one of the best martial artists I've seen and since he left I'm sure he's found another dojo or school to train at. And I wouldn't be surprised if he was there at the competition with you."

I shut my eyes tightly and tried to re-forget what was already forgotten. Why did Chris have to bring him up?

"You ok?" Chris asked, my eyes still closed tight; it almost hurt. I nodded quickly and opened them to see Chris. His dark eyes telling me he was sorry for the comment.

"Does Logan know?" he said.

I bit my lip and looked away, "" I said lightly.

"Well, I guess you can decide if it's right to tell him."

I nodded as a reply as Chris straightened up and clasped my left shoulder, "Hey, forget I mentioned him ok? You got your football fantasy now... so.... be happy. Come on. We still got one more thing to move, ok?"

I smiled and proceeded to fallow him upstairs. He was right, I had Logan now, and he was everything John wasn't.

We loaded the refrigerator into the truck and closed the door.

"That's all the big stuff," Chris said as he rested, leaning forward on his knees. We all smiled at each other. Mission accomplished. All the heavy stuff was now on the truck ready to go.

Derek looked at his watch, "Well guys, it's almost 2. I dunno if you guys had plans for lunch but...."

"Ah... it's ok, don't worry about it. We were gonna eat with a few friends back at Ethan's apartment," I said, hooking my thumbs in my pockets.

"Ok, well, Ethan, Logan, thanks a ton. I think maybe we can leave on time," Derek said.

"Exactly when are you guys leaving?" I looked at them both.

"Monday," Chris said, blurting it out.

"Oh," I said looking at Ethan as he frowned.

"Well if class doesn't get in the way I'll be sure to see you two off at the airport," Ethan said looking slightly saddened.

"WE'LL see you guys off," I said correcting him. Ethan smiled sweetly back at me. I know he liked it when I acknowledged that we were together, maybe a little more after the 'coming out' to his friends.

"Sky Harbor right?" Ethan asked.

"Yeah," Christian said, "I guess I'll have to e-mail you all the flight shit from work, phone got cut yesterday."

Ethan nodded as Derek sighed, "Well I guess we'll finish up the rest. You two should go eat. Oh and... Ethan, remember at 6 you said you'd teach the kid's beginning class."

"Yeah, I remember," Ethan smiled, cocking his head.

"Well, better get going."

I turned as I heard the sorrow in Ethan's voice as he hugged Christian then Derek. I shook both their hands as Ethan said, "I'll see you two later..."

"Yeah, at least one more time," Derek said winking at him. Ethan nodded as he walked backwards and then turned and walked away. I waved as we got to the truck. I started the engine as I looked over at Ethan. He sat there, his hands in his lap as he stared at his open palms, the radio barely audible in the background. I didn't say anything until we were out of the suburbs and on our way back to his apartment.

"You're gonna miss them aren't you?" I said looking out at the road then at him.

He looked over at me and smiled sadly, "Yeah, I am."

"Well you should, they're great guys," I said focusing back on the road and the traffic.

"They were my first friends I made here.... Terrance, Grant and Jeff are all friends form home."

I watched him out of the corner of my eye as he turned his body and looked at me.

"What?" I said, laughing as I said so.

He smiled, "Well I guess I shouldn't be too depressed."

"And why's that?" I said, guessing I already knew the answer.

"Uh... Chris told me I shouldn't be...." he paused and took a breath, "Because I spend way too much time thinking about you anyways."

I looked over at him again as I pulled into the parking space; smiling as I stared at him, turning off the engine. He stared back at me for a few moments and then raised his eyebrows at me giving me a questioning look. I laughed lightly and looked down at the seat.

"What?!" he almost yelled, smiling.

My head still hung I looked as him, beautiful as ever

"Taking time out to wonder why out of all people you chose me."

It made him smile as he reached to open the passenger side door.

I asked, stopping him as the door creaked open, "If we weren't outside, would you have kissed me?"

His back to me, he turned back around, a straight look on his face. I swallowed the frog in my throat as I wrestled with the thought that I might have pushed a little too far. He scooted his way across the full seat until he was next to me, his face came to mine as I felt his breath on my lips, washing me over with relaxation. I closed my eyes as his lips pressed and opened against mine. As I was about to bring my arms around him he slowly began to pull away. I opened my eyes to his smiling face again.

"Here or in the apartment. It was gonna happen."

He let his eyes wander as his face went uneasy, "It's just, you know being outside.... you know how it makes me feel."

"Yeah," I said as I combed my fingers through the hair behind his ear.

"But... I felt I had to...." he said as he began to scoot his way back to the cracked open door.

I grabbed his forearm gently, "Thanks Ethan..... I don't think you know how much I love you."

His eyes widened as they stared into me, "Maybe not, but I'm guessing it feels something like this."

He moved back up to me and pulled me on top of him, laying back the full length of the seat, driver to passenger side. Our lips crashed together almost violently and our tongues fought as our hands groped through our clothes. Ethan had me fucking hard in no time. His tongue massaging mine as his fingers clawed at my back. He dropped his head, breaking the lip lock and smiled sly.

"Knew you'd like that," he said grinding his crotch into mine, making me notice the tree trunk I had in my short cuts.

"Yeah, but you know damn well what you do to me."

I lowered my head and kissed him deeply for a few more moments, letting my mind adjust to how beautiful he tasted.

As it broke I eyed him and said, "Well, I guess we'd better get behind closed doors before someone gets more of a private show."

"Yeah," he said as he got up after me.

I looked at him as we both got out. I think I got enough to hold me off until we get inside. He grinned as we walked the few feet to the apartment door.

"What up whores?" Terrance said sitting at the table as we walked in.

"Hey Terrance, Grant, Jeff," Logan said nodding and looking at everyone at the table. I walked over to an empty seat and sat down, Logan sitting next to me and looking over the food on the table.

"So what's for chow?" I said looking at Terrance then the table along with Logan.

"Well," Terrance said, swallowing a bite of food, "Grant went for hot wings at KFC. Jeff got burgers at Carl's Jr. and I got onion rings at Sonic."

Grant and Jeff nodded and grinned at us both, their mouths full of food.

"So what took you guys so long?" Grant asked, dropping his half eaten hot wing back on his plate.

"They went down to the Motel 6, got a room and fucked until lunch," Jeff said pulling a few onion rings from a paper bag. Terrance snickered as Logan's face went red.

I gave Jeff the finger and smiled, "No.... it wasn't the Motel 6, it was the Super 8. NO, we helped Chris and Derek move."

Everyone laughed as me and Logan just smiled.

"Anyways, what's the plan for Thanksgiving?" I raised my eyebrows at everyone. They all looked at each other while Logan looked at me.

"We all gonna drive back to Vegas together or we got something else planned?"

Terrance took a swig of coke and turned to me, "Well you know I'm going home on Tuesday after class... so if you need to you can catch a ride with me."

I smiled as I responded, "Thanks bro. And you two?" My attention turned to Grant and Jeff.

Grant finished chewing and swallowed, "I called my parents and they said I could come home on Wednesday, besides I work on Tuesday."

I nodded as I chewed on my burger. Then Jeff spoke up, "Yeah, and I'm gonna go with Grant so he doesn't drive home alone."

"Well looks like I'm gonna hitch a ride with you," I said as I turned back to Terrance.

"Ok," he replied, "And you lover boy?"

He looked past me, "Logan?"

Logan leaned back in his chair as his face went pensive, "Well my dad told me that this year I was gonna spend Thanksgiving with him and that he'd book me a flight from Tucson to Denver."

Everyone looked at him with a look of awe in their eyes.

"Your dad's gonna pay for you to fly home? Shit, what does he do for a living?" Jeff asked.

Logan went a little red, with embarrassment I'm sure.

"He's.... um... a civil engineer."

"Ooohh," was the response he got along with smiles and nodding heads. Terrance leaned forward and looked at both me and Logan.

"So Logan, does your dad know about you two?"

Logan's tone going slightly serious, "Well.... not exactly, no," he replied, poking at his food.

Terrance sat back in seat, "Well I guess if they don't ask."

I watched as everyone sat back in their seats and continued to finish lunch. I then thought about my own family.... and how'd they react to me and Logan. Would they be happy for us? Or would they turn and tell us to never come back again; my parents, my sisters, my brother?

I felt Logan's hand on my knee, "You feelin' ok?"

I looked up to see a little worry sketched on his face, "Yeah, I was just thinking."

He smiled, "Yeah, you seem to do that a lot."

Was he worth all the trouble I knew in my gut was going to happen? It surprised me how long it took for me to answer myself. But pushing aside everything.... yes, he was. I raised my brow at him as my lips curled.

"Something you wanna share?"

I shook my head at him, "Uhh... later."

With that he turned and continued eating.

By the end we were all perfectly full. Logan looked at his watch.

"It's almost 3, I gotta go."

He got up out of his chair with his dishes and walked them over to the sink. I sat and watched him wipe his hands on his short cuts as he walked back to the table and leaned down to kiss me. I raised my chin and let him peck me on the lips.

"Football practice," he said softly in my face. He then stood up straight and nodded to everyone else at the table.

I turned in my chair to see him head for the door, "Did you need a ride to campus?"

He turned and flashed everyone a big grin, "Ethan.... do you want a boyfriend with a gut? I gotta run all this fast-food off."

With that he waved at me and stared into my eyes for a few seconds. And then the door closed. He was gone. I reverted my attention back to the table and the three onlookers. They all smiled and continued with lunch. I got the feeling that they all had gotten used to me and Logan. And it felt great that we could be ourselves around them. I'll admit acting like we were just friends outside hurt... a lot. Not to mention how gut wrenching the whole thought of being 'out' was. I felt caught in the middle.

My thought was interrupted by Grant's voice, "Hey, me and Jeff were thinking about transferring to San Diego, UCSD, for school."

Terrance continued to chew with his mouth full, "Why?"

"Well it's a better School for our majors, plus Kyle's stationed out there at Pendleton," Jeff replied.

"Well, I guess," I said, poking at the leftovers on my paper plate.

"Just a thought," Grant said. Everyone kinda laughed it off and continued with the small talk.

Next game was big. Last game of the season only days away and then Thanksgiving break. I though about seeing only my dad this year, my mom had remarried and I'd see her and 'Richard' next year. I contemplated on what my dad would be like after not seeing him for so long. Would he be the same? For meeting my dad I sure was nervous. I pondered on him as I practiced my passes, throwing the ball to Adam and then him to me. Adam jogged up to me after a smooth pass. I smacked him lightly on the side of his helmet.

"So when's Scott supposed to be here? He's got 5 minutes."

Adam shrugged his shoulder, "I guess when he's done with Liz..... You know what? He's probably in the locker-room getting changed right now."

As Adam finished talking I noticed a figure behind him in the distance. It was Scott, uniform and all, jogging up to our part of the practice field.

I looked back at Adam as he tossed the ball from one hand to the other and shuffled his feet.

"Uhh.... Logan, I wanted to ask you somethin'."

"Yeah?" I said as I shielded my eyes from the sun and focused back on him.

"Well uhh..." he was struggling with the words as he handled the ball, "...Your.... boy Ethan.... he has a friend uhh T-......"

Just then Scott's arms lashed around Adam's neck and then mine, cutting Adam off. What the hell was he talking about? Did he know already? Well if not, now wasn't exactly the best time I wanted Adam knowing everything about me. Not here in the middle of practice, and especially not in front of the team. Believe it or not, these guys were bigger gossip queens than any girls I knew.

Adam smiled at me nervously as Scott asked, "So I miss anything guys?"

Adam shook his head as I elbowed Scott in the side, "What took so long?"

Scott bit his lip and smiled at me coyly. Oh, I see.

"Well what?" I said dropping my voice.

"Nothing," he replied ginning, "just got a little distracted with Liz, that's all."

"Right..." I said drawn out.

Just then coach Randell appeared in front of us, his hands behind his back, his gruff voice dripping with annoyance.

"You ladies done gossiping?"

All three of us shuffled our feet and looked at him, nodding in approval and murmured, "Yeah."

"Well then, get in formation. Practice starts now."

He strolled off as Adam smiled weakly at me and then Scott. Now I was kinda curios about what he wanted to ask me. Walking to meet the rest of the team, Adam smacked Scott across the chest, nodded and jogged ahead of us. Scott nodded back at Adam, leaving me and Scott alone. Scott turned his attention to me the looked at his feet as we continued walking.

"So.... you got any plans for lunch?" he asked, still looking down. In truth I did. Usually it was 'me and Ethan' time. But it felt like if this was an invitation maybe I could spare a little time and hang out with a friend for a change.

"Well yeah, but what'd you have in mind?" I replied.

"I kinda thought you'd like to go get somethin' to eat. You know.... talk a little about....."

He didn't finish his sentence, but I knew what he was talking about; me and Ethan. I really did want to get a few things cleared up with him. Maybe help him understand that me and especially Ethan didn't want the entire campus knowing. I don't know what the team would think if they knew I was gay. Well if I did go with Scott, Ethan would have to know.

I kicked Scott in the shin, "Ok. After practice then."

"Ok," Scott said, letting the happiness show on his face.

We finally met up with Adam and the rest of the team as coach started belching out orders like a 4 star general.

Practice came to an end when coach screamed across the field, "Ok that's enough for today. 2 more practices and its end game."

All of us out of breath, trotted back to the locker-room. As I finished dressing out, tying my shoes, Scott hovered over me.


"Yeah," I said finally standing up, "But I gotta give Ethan a call."

"Ok," Scott said nodding his head. We made our way to the student union building as I kept my eye out for a pay phone; of all days to forget to charge my cell phone. It was in my pocket, dead. And I didn't fell like running all the way back to my dorm room just to make a phone call. I dug into my pockets and pulled out the only quarter I had on me as I walked up to a payphone. Scott leaned against the wall next to me, smiling patiently. The coin clanked as it made its way into the belly of the machine. I quickly dialed the number I knew by heart. I smiled to myself as I heard Ethan's voice.

"Yeah," he said, echoing over the phone.

"Hey, how's it going?" I replied.

"Hey Logan.... nothin' much, just finished teaching Chris' class."

"Oh yeah, kids. They as bad as they sound?"

He chuckled, "Uhh... they weren't that much trouble. Nothing I can't handle."

"Hey I called to say that I might not see you until later tonight. Scott and I are gonna get something to eat."

"No, no problem. Liz asked me to go with her to meet a few of the guys I'm gonna be facing at the tournament."

I was kind of shocked. I kind of expected him to maybe be a little protective of me and be a little more jealous that I wanted to spend some time with my friends instead....but.... that always seemed to create problems. I should be glad that we didn't have a relationship of short leashes.

"Ok," I said, reassured, "But I'll see you tonight though right?"

"Is there anything that says we won't?" he asked.

"Well no," I said slightly stupid.

"Well then don't worry about it," I could almost feel him smiling over the phone.

"So I'll see you tonight?"

"Yeah," he replied.

"Love you," I said softly.

"Love you too," he said just as soft.


The phone clicked as I turned back to Scott. He smiled foolishly at me as he stood straight up.

"Heard that," he said grinning as I hung up the phone.

"Oh," I said, blushing and scratching the back of my head.

"It's cool that you two tell each other," he looked down and sighed, "Don't think I tell Liz enough."

I tried to change the subject, "Oh, Ethan said he was going somewhere with your girlfriend."

Scott scrunched his eyebrows, "You sure I can trust your boyfriend?"

I punched him in the arm and smirked, "Shut up. Be glad Ethan's not here to kick your ass," I sneered mockingly, "So where we heading?"

I stared at myself in the restroom mirror as I tried to calm myself down. It was my first day teaching the kid's class and maybe I was a little on edge. Jake, the dojo owner, came by and was in the office. He told me that everything would be fine and that all I had to do was relax. Why? Why did Chris ask me to teach? I wet my face with cold water as the screams and shouts got louder, echoing into the restroom. I guess all the kids were here. I took a deep breath, straightened my gi out and walked outside.

I stood at the restroom entrance to the main room and surveyed about 15 kids. The bulk of the class was between 6 and 12 years old, some older some younger, with 2 older students about 16 or 17. I walked out as they almost automatically fell into formation. Huh, I guess Chris did teach them well enough for me to handle. I slowly walked to the front of the class, all eyeing me as I tried to mask my nervousness. I then heard the voice of a 5 year old.

"Are you our new sensei?"

I turned to the kid, smiling timidly and nodded, "Yeah, I guess I am."

He smiled innocently back at me, "Sensei Christian said that he was leaving and that we were gonna have a new sensei."

"Oh, well.... that'd be me. My name's Ethan." I said.

"My name's Corey."

"Well, nice to meet you Corey," I smiled back and looked at the rest of the class.

I cleared my throat, "Well, I'm sure you know your sensei, Chris, asked me to fill in for him until your new sensei gets here. My name is Ethan and it's probably a good idea for me to get to know all of you. So how about some names and a little about yourselves ok?"

I got through all the kids. They all seemed harmless enough, at least to me, not at all what I expected. Finally it came down to the two teenagers.

"And you two?" I looked at them confused.

The one with the longer brown hair spoke up, "Uh, I'm Danny and this is Zach," he said pointing to the other kid with spiky brown hair.

"You two aren't children," I said scratching my head, wondering what they were doing here. I know we had a beginner's class for older teenagers.

Zack looked at Danny as Danny gave me a funny look, "Didn't Jake tell you?"

I slightly raised my eyebrows, "About what?"

They both chuckled.

"Well Jake asked us to be here. We're from the intermediate class," Danny said.

"Yeah, the kids can sometimes get out of hand with only one instructor here, so... think of us as... kinda like assistance," Zack said grinning boldly.

Well, made sense. And if Jake asked them here I wasn't gonna question his motives.

"Ok," I said, "Then you two can tell me where Chris left off."

Class went by quicker than I expected. And before I knew it everyone was changed and waving me good-bye. I sighed to myself in relief and began to march off to the locker-room when I heard a whistle come from the entrance. I smiled, thinking it was Logan as I began to turn around. I was about to say something. I'm sure smart and slightly sexual until it hit me that it was Liz there in the doorway. I slumped and jokingly frowned at her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Checking out the hotties," she said with overconfidence

"Well, you just missed 'em," I said as I slowly started to stroll towards her.

"Ok you got me. The truth is my dad sent me over to tell you that he set up a little meeting with you and a few opponents."

I lightly scrunched my face. I really didn't see the point in meeting these guys. Personally, I'd rather be home with Logan doing other things less than holy. But if Steve did out of his way.... Liz looked at me as if tying to incline me to agree to go. Reluctantly I finally did.

"Ok, I guess your dad did arrange it all...."

Before I could finish she jumped up and grabbed my arm.

"Ok, let's go."

Surprised I stopped, standing still, "Now?!"

"Yeah, it's at this restaurant downtown... well, close to downtown."

"Uhhh..... well... let me change first," I protested.

"Ok, but make it quick, we're running late."

I reappeared out of the restroom dressed in my street clothes, fiddling with my cell phone.

"Well let's go," Liz urged.

"Hold on. I gotta call Logan," I said calmly.

"Oh yeah, almost forget about the boyfriend."

"Shut up!" I said, "I'm just gonna tell him not to wait up for me."

I dialed his number, but no answer. As I tried to think of where he could be when my phone began to ring, the screen flashing the name 'Logan'.

"Yeah," I answered. Liz smiled at me then bit her lip.

"Hey what's up?" Logan replied happily.

I looked at Liz as Logan and I explained to each other where we'd be. She looked as thought she was seriously pressed for time, but at the same time almost amused that it was Logan who called.

Finally hanging up Liz sighed, "Finally."

"Ok ok let's go," I said as we both left the dojo.

Liz sped through traffic as I gripped the inside door of her car.

"Are we that late?" I questioned.

"Well don't wanna leave a bad impression," she said looking over at me.

"Here we are."

She parallel parked in front of a familiar looking building. Finally turning off the engine I looked at her.

"Here?.... You're joking right?"

"Nope," she replied as she got out of the car. I remembered the place as I sat in the car alone. This was a restaurant, a 'gay' restaurant. Terrance once told me that he'd gone on a date here. And now here I was supposedly meeting other martial artists in the same place. I heard a knock on my window.

Liz yelling through the glass, "Come on."

Finally inside Liz walked up to the host.

"Reily, for four," she said.

I looked around at all the bodies in the room, all the men seemingly all at once staring at me. The one time that mattered. Why didn't I bring my hat? I fallowed Liz as she fallowed the host to a table. As I sat down as the host handed me a menu and smirked at me. I knew what he was thinking. I showed my un-interest and hid my face behind the menu. He walked off after telling us our waiter would be with us shortly.

"Calm down Ethan, they aren't about to rape you....yet," Liz said mocking me.

"When are the other guys getting here?" I said form behind the menu.

"Speaking of the other guys," she said looking towards the door, "They're here."

We walked into a restaurant as I eyed my surroundings. The place looked almost European, with a bar and a pool table. I noticed Scott walk up to the host. The next thing I knew Scott was almost yelling my name trying to get my attention and gesturing me to fallow him. I watched him walk to a booth.

"So we late?" I heard Scott say.

"Right on time."

I saw Liz get up and hug him. Liz? What's she doing here? I took a few steps closer and saw another guy with her practically hiding behind his menu. If Liz was here then the other guy had to be.....

"Ethan?" I asked as the menu dropped.

He gave me a funny look, "Uhh... are you supposed to be here?"

I chuckled at his response, "That any way to greet your boyfriend?"

He dropped his head but I could tell he was smiling.

"No, I guess not... come here," he gestured. I took a seat next to him, sliding into the booth as I wrapped my arm around his shoulder. I then remembered that we were in public and began to inconspicuously try to retract my arm. Ethan looked at me and smiled wide.

"Don't worry Logan," he said. I think my face went puzzled as he smiled even wider.

"Take a look around," he said as his eyes wandered. I took a second look at the place and noticed the people, they were all men and apparently they noticed me and Ethan as a good deal of them were looking straight at us.

"This THAT kinda palce?" I looked at Ethan and then Scott who just seemed to shrug in agreement. I tightened my arm back around Ethan as it seemed that all the eyes saw right through me and pierced at my boyfriend. Part of me was prideful, showing off the guy in my arm, but I also felt a pretty big swell of jealously. Even though Ethan seemed to ignore it, I couldn't do it so well. I then heard Ethan say something.

"So these the guys we were waitin' for?" he said looking at Liz, the question obviously rhetorical.

"Uhh.... yeah," Liz said.

"So this was planned?" Ethan said as he looked at all of us. Scott and Liz nodded as he then looked at me.

"Hey, I no idea," I said in my defense.

"It was something me and Scott came up with. We kinda wanted you guys to be youselves around us," Liz added.

Ethan and I looked at each other. I guess it seemed ok.

Liz then spoke up again, "Plus I didn't think you two would've done anything yourselves... you know, hang out with us as a couple."

Our attention was now on Scott and Liz. I could tell Scott got nervous as he caressed Liz's hand as he said, "Yeah, and... it's really cool to just hang out with other couples, especially when they're your friends."

"Hope you guys aren't mad. I mean we did kinda surprise you guys," Liz's voice almost apologetic.

"Well, sure did surprise me," I said, smiling, "But I'm not mad. If you weren't gonna do it for us I was gonna do it anyways."

I felt Ethan lightly laugh in my arm, "You know you two are right."

Scott and Liz then looked at Ethan almost simultaneously.

"If it hadn't happened now I don't think I would've had the guts to be.... I guess 'out' in front of you two."

Scott looked at me and then smiled at Ethan, "You know Ethan, we just want you and Logan to be yourselves around us. Why do you think we brought you two here? So you could be together."

I squeezed his shoulder as he just smiled at Liz and Scott and then at me. It felt great to not worry about what others thought about us. I actually liked showing Ethan how I felt and not having to worry about where we were.

Even thought I had every right to be pissed, I didn't feel anything but friendship come from Liz and Scott. I mean, that's what friends do, surprise each other. Well I knew that Liz knew me well enough to know that I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't a lightning bolt. I felt Logan's brawny arm around me and his especially large bicep flex as he squeezed me as if I wasn't already pulled into him. I guess all the men's stares were getting to him too. I guess now if anyone had the balls to even approach me they had to get through him first.

The waiter finally came around and took our drink orders, his stare conspicuously lingering on me as I diverted my eyes. I then noticed Logan's countenance go a little harsh as I'm sure the waiter took it as a 'fuck off.'

"Well," Liz said, "I guess we know who's got all the boy's panting."

I leaned back into the booth, hoping Logan's larger frame would hide me. Taking a drink of water, Scott continued to scan over the menu.

"Yeah, I know. They look at me and Logan until they see Ethan... then it's game over for us, right Logan?"

I watched as Logan raised his glass of water at Scott, "Got that right."

I tried to sink farther into the booth. Why did the way I look always seem to get me into trouble?

The waiter came back with the drinks and finally took our order.

"Uhh.... chef's salad," Liz said closing her menu.

"New York steak, medium," Scott relpied.

"Uhh..." Logan bit his lip, "Prime rib, medium. And you babe?" he said looking at me. I'm sure to keep the waiter along with everyone else from even thinking of working up the courage to talk to me. I scratched my head as the waiter looked at me, smiling as he waited.

"Prime rib too, medium."

"Ok," the waiter said as he picked up the menus and left us to ourselves. I could almost here Logan growling as I looked at his eyes brows, low and almost malicious. I knew Liz and Scott noticed too. We changed the subject as we waited for our meal. The conversation and laughter eased Logan down as our food finally arrived.

"So Logan, you think anyone else on the team plays for 'your' team?" Scott said, cutting into his steak.

Logan chewed on a piece of meat as he thought, "...umm.....Paul. Paul Keiser....?"

Scott pointed at him with his fork, "I think so too, how about Adam?"

Logan looked puzzled, "I dunno.... I don't have the sixth sense about other gay guys... I dunno."

"Well, he hasn't even considered dating for like a year. I mean Madison went after him.... after the whole thing with you."

I looked at Logan, my mouth half stuffed with baked potato.


Logan just shrugged.

"Well," Scott continued, "he blew her off too."

"Well maybe he's not into sluttly girls," Liz commented.

"Maybe?" Scott said, looking at her questioning.

"Well, he has been acting a little weird lately," Logan said.

Scott nodded in agreement as me and Liz just shrugged, going along with it.

"Anyways, what else do you two got planned for tonight?" Liz said, taking another mouthful of salad.

"I dunno," I said, spinning my fork in my fingers. She smiled at both of us. I knew what she was thinking.... ok, so maybe she was slightly on track.

"So when are you guys gonna tie the knot?" Logan said, looking at his plate and then at Scott and Liz.

Scott dropped his fork while Liz threw her napkin at Logan.

"What?!" Logan said as he pointed out a ring on Liz's finger.

"That!?" Scott said as he finished chewing.

"He got it for me for our 3 month anniversary. Ain't he sweet?" Liz said, teasing Scott as she bit her lip and adjusted it on her finger.

"Still a bit too early to be thinking about marriage," Scott said, "still a new couple."

"Well not as new as us," I said, slightly full and poking at my steak.

"Almost three weeks," Logan said grinning and squeezing me tighter. I didn't mind, I kinda enjoyed the intimacy and not having to be ashamed of it.

"So you two gonna run away to Canada?" Scott said, obviously teasing.

"Uhh.... not yet," Logan said, looking at Scott then at me.

"Get in a fight yet?" Liz said as she slowly chewed her food while smiling at us.

"Well no," I said puzzled.

"Sorry, I just assumed every couple.... quarrels," Liz said.

"Quarrels?" Scott looked at her confused, "I think the shit we fight about always seems to be the smallest things."

Logan smiled big as I bit my lip trying not to laugh.

"Well," Liz said, her tone going serious.

"Everyone has differences and everyone fights over them, case and point," she pointed at Scott and herself, "I guess you know when a couple's lasted when they can look past them, the differences that is.... read that somewhere."

As I thought about it, I guess it did make sense. Me and Logan never talked about what we didn't like about each other. Now that I think about it, I really didn't dislike anything about him. But then again we were still learning about each other.

Logan the spoke up, "Well I'm gonna try at least.... to make it last," looking at me as he finished. I smiled back as we all finished out meal and talked about other non trivial matters. As the check came me and Logan began reaching for our wallets.

Scott then barked, "Hey! I got it."

Logan and I froze.

"Dad or should I say my dads gave me a little spending money."

That's right, we were the one's being treated out. Logan and I walked to the door hand in hand, until we were outside. Logan looked at me and half smiled as he gently let my hand go. I sucked being able to kick anyone's ass and still be scared of being out. We walked onto the curb, Logan walking next to me. Liz and Scott pulled out their car keys. Luck so happened that they had parked next to each other.

"So whose gonna take you guys home?" Scott leaned towards me and Logan.

Logan brushed my hand and said, "I gotta run and do something before tonight, ok?"

I nodded my head, "Ok."

Hmm... Wonder what he had to do? I really wasn't up for another surprise today. One was good enough. I looked back at the restaurant doors. Never did I think I'd be here with Logan.... and totally calm about it. Scott walked off as he waved at us. Logan took a few steps backwards, still staring at me and smiling.

"See you tonight," he said as he turned around and jogged the few steps to catch up to Scott.

"I like him," Liz said pulling me out of the moment, "I see why you're together."

"Huh?" was my only response.

"Yeah, he loves you. Kinda got it written all over him," she said as she walked around the car and opened the driver side door. I finally opened the passenger side and got in. All I did was smile.

"So you don't like other guys scopin' out Ethan right?" Scott said glancing from the road to me.

I smiled nervously, "Uhh... nah.... I guess not."

I knew I was a little jealous and maybe a tiny bit protective when it came to other guys and Ethan. I just didn't like the feeling, knowing other guys are looking at him in that way and above all ignoring the fact that he was with me. As for girls, I didn't fell threatened at all.... weird.

"So where to bud?" Scott said, turning the radio down.

"Uhh... drug store," I said looking at him a little embarrassed.

"Ok," he answered almost nonchalant.

After about a good hour of driving, Scott pulled into the parking lot of Ethan's Apartment. I got out of his truck as he left the engine running.

"Thanks Scott, for what you and Liz did. It really did make me feel a little bit more comfortable and a little more like we're in a relationship.....uhh, me and Ethan."

"No problem," he said grinning.

I pointed behind me with my thumb, "Well I uhh, guess I better get going."

"Yeah, well you two have fun," he said winking at me. I smiled back at him and shut the door.

At the door to the apartment, I knocked and heard a voice from inside telling me to come in. I opened the door and found Ethan at the table, apparently doing his homework. He looked up from his paper work and smiled. God I loved him, and here, no one could look at him but me.

"Hey," I said softly and closed the door behind me. He got up out of his chair as I walked the few steps to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. His came around mine as I pulled his body closer, practically needing to feel his body against me. I felt the warm glow of his lips as my mouth drew closer to his. His kiss was as needy as mine was greedy. I kissed him hard as my right hand wandered down and tightly gripped his ass.

The kiss finally broke as Ethan bit my lower lip, "What is it with you? All you care about is my ass."

"Well," I said, squeezing it harder, "It's one of my favorite features of yours, and if I remember correctly, you seemed to love it when I chow on your ass."

He closed his eyes and smiled, amused. It was true. It never was an ass man until I tasted Ethan's, ever sweet and totally addictive. My left hand continued to squeeze and caress his cheek as I slowly maneuvered my right hand into the small of his back, and ever so sneakily, slip my fingers under the elastic if his briefs.

I nibbled at his neck and mumbled, "Roommates out?"

I heard him breathe slightly more heavily, "Yeah, another keg party, couldn't resist."

"Good," I said, as my mouth came over his once again as we slowly made our way to his room.

God, he felt freaking amazing, like the rush of a rollercoaster but better. Inside my room Logan let me go. I stood and watched as he pulled his shirt off, messing up his hair even more and showing off his pecs and abs, flexing and smiling at me. I didn't have the light dusting of hair Logan had on his chest and stomach. I guess that's why I found it sexy as hell, especially against my smooth skin.

Before I could smile back he had me in his arms again. He swung me around and fell on my bed, his head on my pillow and me on top of him, straddling his hips and groin.

"What's gotten into you?" I said, noticing the new enthusiasm.

He shrugged as he brought his hand up and stroked my face along my jaw.

"Nothing.... I .... just love you, that's all."

I watched him as he continued to caress my cheek with his fingertips. We maintained eye contact as his callused hand felt down my neck and onto my chest, running over my shirt and onto my abs. I then felt his other hand work its way up my side, under my shirt. I smiled slightly as he began to pull it up. I sat up straight and took over for him, peeling my shirt from my body. I sat still and let him look at me, his eyes gently glistening. My shirt still in my left hand at my side, I slowly raised my right hand to my abs and gently ran my fingers over them, letting them scan over the ripped muscle until they met at my pecs. I then felt Logan's hands on my sides again as I felt his breath quicken and his tool tent his jeans beneath me.

If I were standing I'd be drooling. I watched as Ethan continued to feel his own body while driving mine haywire with the images I was seeing. My cock was instantly hard and aching in my jeans under Ethan's weight. He always did that to me, and I think he knew it. My hands on his sides slowly stroked up his oblique muscles and down as he pinched his right nipple and bit on his left index finger, all the while mildly grinding his ass into my groin, making the agony almost unbearable. My hands finally back around his waist, I slowly brought them to the front of his jeans and skillfully opened his pants. I zipped down his fly while I kept eye contact with my lover. His breath now faster I brought my hands back to the top of his ass and effortlessly slipped my hands back into his jeans. I let my index fingers fall into the crease of his ass. He slowly bent over me, in turn spreading his ass a little more for me. As my hands went deeper, his jeans and briefs slowly began falling off, his ass now hanging half way out; soft, round and firm in my palms.

His face hovered over mine. I slightly raised my head and kissed him. He let his weight fall on me. Ahh... God I loved this. His mouth now fiercely working on mine, his tongue exploring my oral cavity, my hands now freely roaming all over the most perfect ass I'd ever laid eyes on. I parted his cheeks with one hand and slowly ran my other hand and middle finger over the length of his trench, from as far down as I could reach to where his crack melted into his back. As I passed over his steel tight hole I felt his body quiver and mouth press harder over mine. He groaned into my mouth. Knowing I could make him shake had me on a high, one that I never wanted to come down off of.

He knew I loved it when he teased my hole. It felt like a shock, an almost euphoric wave every time he touched it. The feeling multiplied with the added strokes of his hand over my glutes and with his chest hair rubbing between him and me.

I finally let go of his mouth as we both opened our eyes, his hands still in my pants, stroking up and down my trench. He let out a deep exhale on every stroke and grinned slightly every time I gasped at his large finger rubbing and pressing into my hole every 2 seconds. I felt his monstrous tool rub up against the back of my balls through his jeans. My ass practically hanging out of my boxer briefs and pants, I slowly got up and moved my way down his body, his hands slowly slipping from my pants. Logan smiled at me, but I could still see the disappointment in his face.

"Hey, what gives?" he said, "I was enjoying myself.... and you."

My head how directly over his crotch I opened my mouth and licked at the massive mound in his pants.

"Well, can't let you have all the fun," I replied, smiling back up at him.

He grinned back and got up on his elbows as he tilted his head to the side as he watched me leisurely start to nibble on his cock through the denim. He was starting to leak and stain his pants as I sucked at his shaft. Finally letting go of his organ I watched his face, observant and aroused, and then my own fingers as they worked on unbuttoning his jeans. When his pants were finally loosened I lightly kissed his lower torso, under his belly button, letting the hairs of his love-trail tickle my chin and then my nose as I opened the flaps of his jeans.

I looked up at Logan's face. He was breathing a little heavier now as his eyes told me to continue. I kept eye contact as I listened to the zipper hum its way open. His scent was quick and deep. A smell I had to memory. I then smiled at him wickedly. I noticed something. He wasn't wearing any underwear.

"Since when do you go commando?"

He closed his eyes and chuckled, "Since today was laundry day."

I looked back down at his newly exposed pubes, wiry and bronze.

"Fuckin' hot," I smirked, my voice going low.

"Knew you'd like it," he shot back.

I fully opened his jeans to find that his cock was still too big, snuggly tucked into the left leg of his pants. I practically clawed at the waist of his jeans and pulled them off. Logan raised his ass to help me rid him of his last layer of clothing. And there it was, all 9 inches of him. It seemed like something out of a porn fantasy. His mushroom head and long thick shaft bulged and bobbed as I took in the shear magnitude of his endowment. I then watched as Logan's face went serious.

"You sure Ethan?" he said, obviously remembering what happened last time.

I smiled and nodded, "How am I gonna get better if I don't practice."

He smiled back at me and let me continue.

I watched as he almost seemed in awe of the size of my cock. I don't think he knew how hard I was aching at this point. My pre-cum dribbling out of my piss slit as Ethan slowly began licking it up. The swipes of his tongue were long and dragged out. His hands were now on my thighs, squeezing at my muscles as they tensed. He looked up at me as his tongue began swirling around the head of my cock. I couldn't help but take deeper breaths. He looked back into my eyes as he opened his mouth and slowly descended over the mushroom head. His lips lovingly locked around it, latching themselves under the crown. I let my head fall back as I let my cock melt in his mouth.


I let out a low cry as I felt his strong tongue run along the underside of the head. I licked my lips and raised my head to look back at him. I parted my lips as watched I watched the shimmer of saliva as it escaped out of the corner of his lips and rolled down the side of my cock. He sucked on the head and pressed his tongue into my piss slit as my body began to quiver. I then watched as he brought his hand to the base and wrapped his fingers around it. I felt his mouth open up as he sucked a little more of my cock between his beautiful lips. Only a third of the way down he stopped and began to suck on that as his hand began a slow pump on the rest of my tool. He sucked on my meat as he pulled off until only the head was left in his mouth and then sucked it back in. My hips had already begun to bounce into his mouth.

"Aahh..... aawwhh.... Ethan.... fuck....." I gasped between breaths still lying back on my elbows. I brought my hand to his head and combed my fingers through his hair. He looked at me while I gently brushed his bangs over his forehead, watching his mouth make a rhythmic slurping sound. Nothing ever felt as good as he did.

God, it was almost bigger than I remembered. I felt his fingers in my hair as I closed my eyes and sucked tenderly on him. I liked it when he did that, it reminded me that I wasn't doing this to just anybody, but my boyfriend. I paced myself as to not take too much into my mouth. I looked back up at him, his gasps and moans made it apparent that I was getting better at this. I flicked my tongue up and down his head, stimulating him to leak more cock honey into my mouth. He tasted just as bold as the first time. I watched his head fall back as his right hand gently began pulling at hair. I then felt his body tense and our rhythm begin to speed up.

He groaned out, "AAHH... AHHH...FUCK, ETHAN.... ahhh feels so fuckin' good, ahh.. I'm gonna cum...."

I looked up at him, his face telling me he loved it. I sucked harder on his monster until he stiffened, and then I got what I wanted. A thick, warm liquid instantly filled my mouth, like he was pissing cum more than shooting it. I savored it and the gently began to let it glide down my throat. He was mine, and soon I'd be his.

My vision finally began to clear. Holy Shit! Even though he only sucked on a third of my cock, it was the best blowjob of my life. Not the confused straight boy I fell in love with a few weeks ago. I guess soon enough he'd as good as I was.

My legs felt week and balls finally felt like they weren't going to explode. Finally with my breath I looked back at him, taking one last suck of my cock and finally letting it fall from his lips. He crawled back up as I grabbed at his waist and positioned him again as were before the earthshaking orgasm, him straddling me. He bent down and let me kiss him, my hands all over him again, one in his hair and the other caressing my favorite part of him, his ass. He relaxed on top of me as he opened his mouth wider, my tongue wandering in, counting his teeth. I could taste it. I could taste myself, like he saved some for me. He broke the kiss and lightly smiled at me. I brought my hand to his face again.

"What?" he asked, just above a whisper.

"I.... I can't believe how bad I'm love with you and.... that you're in love with me."

He bent down and kissed me again.

"It's not like I can help it either."

This time it was him who ran his fingers along my jaw, "I love it when you do this to me."

I opened my eyes, "Cuz you're fuckin' beautiful and... you could have anyone you want, guy or girl,... but... you're with me."

"Cuz I love you retard," he smiled almost laughing. Then almost whispering he said, "I love you."

My hands on the side of his face I pulled him down and kissed him hard. Almost wanting him to feel how badly I loved him.

Finally free he whispered again, "So you like your present? I tried to save you some."

Oh, his protein after taste. I smiled and gently bit and nibbled at his lower lip.

"....yes...." I answered as my hands slowly went back to his ass. It was then I noticed that I'd been hard the whole time.

I could understand why he always pictured us as dream. I myself couldn't believe that me, Ethan Harrison, was dating again, and I guy to make it more of a shock..... and the kicker was.... I loved him, even if it was hard for him to believe. But I just hoped he didn't love me for just how I looked, even if I didn't find myself all that desirable.

As the kiss finished I finally noticed that his cock was completely hard and that I hadn't noticed that it had been hard the entire time. I then felt his hands go back to where they were before. This time I had no clothing to hinder him. My pants and boxer briefs were now around my ankles. Logan's were still around his thighs but not longer caging his enormous tool, which was bulging underneath my balls and next to my own cock. I was almost certain Logan's abs were drenched in pre-cum by now.

I then watched Logan's ice blue eyes shimmer at me for a minute along with smile, "Now where was I?"

I smiled and fell back on him, kissing him and spreading my ass in the process. He no longer needed an invitation. His large hand was now feeling between my ass cheeks, stroking and circling around my hole. I know he knew how sensitive I was there. My breath almost began to race. I felt his left hand pull at one of my ass cheeks as the other hand firmly rubbed my aching hole. I let my head rest in the crook of his neck and shoulders. I breathed into his ear as I continued to feel his index and middle fingers rub and press at my tightly sealed entrance. Finally I felt his thumb as he pinched at my opening, lightly pressing into me. And then I felt his fingers leave. I next heard a sucking sound. I raised my head and looked at Logan's face. He pulled two of his fingers from his mouth as he opened his eyes.

I listened to Ethan gasp in my ear as I continued to feel and stroke his tiny hot hole. I massaged it with my fingers as I felt it slightly wink at me. I couldn't take it any longer. I had to taste him, my mind was craving it. Slowly I brought my thumb to it and with my index finger, gently pinched at his puckered opening, letting my thumb tenderly press at his asshole. I know he felt it and he definitely was excited by it. I felt the breath on my ear go to gasps. Finally letting go of his hole I brought it to my mouth and sucked on one of the most delicious flavors Ethan had to offer. I savored the taste of sparkles on my tongue until it faded. I then opened my eyes to Ethan staring at me, half smiling. I slowly pulled my fingers from my mouth and returned them to their previous spot. The new sensation of my wet fingers on his hot hole made him gasp then hold his breath.

"Ethan.... you know what I want."

"Mmmm... yeah..." he moaned as I continued to wet his flexing hole with my warm saliva.

I watched him get up off me and stand up. I got up on my elbows again and watched as he kicked his pants and underwear off, standing in front of me in all his glory. He crawled back over me. I immediately grabbed him and pulled his mouth to mine. My arms completely around him, I rolled him over. Now I was on top. I continued to kiss him as his fingers tangled themselves in my hair. I kissed my way onto his neck, nibbling and biting my way down. I heard him hiss and groan as I bit at his neck, oblivious to the fact that I was gonna leave a mark. His fingers now pulled at my hair as I sucked and licked at his pecs, savoring the flavor of his skin. My hands now around his waist, I pulled his torso up, pressing his abs into my mouth, letting my tongue fallow the grooves of his ripped muscles. Finally I felt the fine dark hairs of his love trail enter my mouth. I felt his soft pubes rub against my chin. I kissed my way lower until I rubbed my chin against the base of his cock. I looked up to see his head flung back. I licked at the shaft, from the base to just under the head. I let my tongue swipe the head, flicking at the shimmering drop of nectar. He moaned and pulled my hair. He couldn't take the torture and neither could I. with my lips around the tip of his cock, I sucked it in, letting my tongue work the underside as it entered.

"Ahh.... mmmmm...." was all I heard escape Ethan's lips.

I sucked and effortlessly, letting it glide down my throat until I smelt Ethan's pubes in my nose and his balls nudged against my chin. I held his cock buried down my throat and listened to the moans he made. I let my nostrils flare and then slowly, I pulled off him, letting it pop out of my mouth. I licked it once more and continued my trek to my boyfriend's greatest treasure.

His breath was hot and deep as I felt it rush over my quivering hole. I remembered this position, I loved this position. Instantly I brought my legs up, slightly bent, as Logan held them from behind. I closed my eyes and groaned in ecstasy as I felt Logan's searing tongue run completely up my crack. I held my knees as I raised my head at see Logan completely enthralled in making me feel completely helpless. He licked up my crack again. His large fingers prying me open even more, his thick tongue pressing into me as I bit my lip and moaned uncontrollably. I held my breath as I felt the bristles of Logan's face set my nerves on fire. He had his lips locked around my now over excited hole, his tongue polishing it with his warm saliva. He pulled his face from me as I raised my head to see him. His mouth was open and his attention completely on my ass. He used his middle finger and rubbed it over my saliva soaked hole.

He then looked at me, "Fuck..... Ethan, I've been craving this all fucking day."

He brought his finger to his mouth and sucked on the tip. "...fuck...." was the last thing he said as he dove back into my crack, spreading my cheeks with his hands. I felt like melting as he gnawed and chewed on my puckered ass. And what I'd been waiting for was finally about to happen.

My brain still couldn't comprehend the taste of sparks on my tongue. I locked my lips around his swollen hole and gently sucked until my tongue pressed into it. Slowly he opened up as my tongue slipped into him. I felt his leg muscles spasm and then relax as he moaned out, "Aaahhh.... ahh.. God... Logan, mmmm.... don't fuckin' stop...mmmhh..."

It turned my on to hell that he loved this as much as I did. I knew for a fact that his sheets were gonna suffer; all my pre-cum spewing all over. My tongue now in him, I proceeded to do exactly what he instructed me to do.... I fucked him.

I let my tongue take long strokes then wide ones, letting it feel into him. Ethan was almost crying out in pleasure as my tongue fucking went to a frenzy. But I didn't want him to cum, not yet.

I pulled my tongue from the sweetest hole and licked it once more. I got up and let my jeans slide the rest of the way until they pooled at my ankles. I stepped out of them and kicked the aside. Now fully naked and completely comfortable, I crawled back over him as he brought his legs down. Before I could say anything he pulled my head down and kissed me deeply. I kissed him back, equally as hard and brought my right hand to his now raw hole and gently caressed it with my fingertips.

Finally letting my mouth go, I smiled at him, "Someone sure enjoyed himself."

Ethan just smiled back. Then more firmly I stroked his soaked chute, "Well... I enjoyed it too."

"Logan?" he said faintly, "When can I rim you?"

I smiled back, "If you want to.... but, personally..... I want it to be something that I do..."

I bit my lip and inched my face closer to his, our nosed touching, "That it's just for you."

He smiled faintly and closed his eyes. I felt his fingers firmly scratch my back as I pressed my fingers harder against his moistened hole. I bent in for a kiss. Letting his mouth go I built up some courage and waited for him to open his eyes.

I held him over me as my legs wrapped themselves around his waist. His fingers....fuck.... his fingers. He knew what he was doing; stroking, rubbing, pinching. I bit my lower lip and reluctantly opened my eyes. I saw Logan's face, rugged and handsome, staring into mine. I saw his lips quiver. I was beginning to understand that translated to, 'I have something I want to ask you but I'm afraid you'll say no.'

Paying a little less attention to his fingers and more to his countenance, I asked, "You wanna ask me something?"

He licked his lips and looked away. I moaned and shifted a little as Logan's fingers felt like they were working on overdrive, the look on my face one of only pleasure. He nodded and looked back at me.

He sighed and said, "Yeah," in a small voice.

I brought my hand around his neck and gently stroked the hair on the back of his head. I waited.

"Uhh... Ethan?... Can.... can I fuck you?" he said softly.

Fuck me? The thought was arousing and terrifying at the same time. I wasn't about to forget how big he was and obviously how tight I had to be. Putting one and one together seemed gut wrenchingly painful if not impossible, but.... I wanted to try anyways. I must have thought for a while as Logan stopped caressing me and got up and sat at the edge of my bed, looking at what seemed to be the floor.

He muttered, "Ethan....," he held his breath, "Just forget I asked."

I got up and crawled towards him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his ear. I felt him relax and bring his hands up to feel my forearms over his chest.

I whispered in his ear, "I love you Logan."

He turned his head and kissed my bicep, "I love you too Ethan....and.... I-I...."

"Shhh...." I said in his ear, "What are you so afraid of?"

"ME!.....I'm afraid of me! I'm afraid.... I-I might just end up hurting you."

I let him stroke my arms and hands.

"Logan?" I said soflty, "Would you hurt me?"

"NO!!," he said, almost violently, then softly, "no... never."

I nuzzled my lips in his hair, "Then you shouldn't be afraid... and neither should I."

He finally turned his head and looked at me.

"I just have one question," I said.


I looked down and smiled, "Will you think of me any less of a man after you fuck me?"

I sat on his bed with his beautiful arms around me, staring into his eyes. Ethan? Any less of a man? The one guy that could kick my ass. The last guy I thought I could ever be with. Ethan, my perfect man.

I shook my head at him and replied, "Well.... will you still think of me as man after you fuck me?"

He practically grinned from ear to ear and pulled my face into his for another kiss. Going from uncertain and scared to confident and even more in love had my heart racing and my blood pounding. We both fell back onto the bed, my hard-on now raging, grinding against Ethan's equally hard tool. Breaking the kiss, I quickly got up and searched for my shed pair of jeans. Ethan got up on his elbows and watched, amused. He laughed deeply as I stumbled over our shoes. I smiled back and quickly snatched my pants up off the floor. I dug into my pockets and pulled out a small bottle of travel size lube along with two boxes of single condoms, large for Ethan and magnum for me. I remembered back to the drug store and how nervous I was waiting in line and then finally buying them, avoiding everyone's faces, not even sure if I was ever gonna use anything I bought. I guess now all that was worth it.

I threw the lube and condoms next to Ethan on the bed and crawled back over him, both of use smiling nervously, Ethan more nervous that I was. He reached over and grabbed the little bottle of lube and read the label. He then snapped the top. Still holding my eyes with his, he took hold of my right hand squeezed a generous amount of the clear cool gel on my index and middle fingers. Biting his lips, he guided my fingers passed his groin as far he could reach. As he wrapped his legs back around my waist I stared into his eyes in awe, knowing that he was about to give himself to me, completely. My chest began to ache and the urge to kiss him became unbearable. As my fingers reached his hole the cool gel made him flinch lightly. As my lips reached his mouth I watched his eyes close. His lips burned with heat as my tongue swiped past them and into his mouth. He tasted like heaven. He pulled my hair with one hand while the other clawed at my waist. My fingers on his tightly sealed entrance rubbed him until I couldn't control myself. As my kiss got harder, so did the pressure on his hole, until Ethan finally let go. My Index finger slipped into him slowly. I felt Ethan moan, the vibration quaking through his body. I went deeper, past my second knuckle until I was completely in him. He was tight, like his body held a death grip on my invading finger. I was in him, and I felt like I'd found a part myself inside of him as well. I froze and let go of Ethan's mouth. His eyes were still closed and his breath was chopped and gasping. I suddenly felt the intense tightness begin to loosed as I watched and felt the rest of his body begin relax. He opened his eyes and lightly smiled. He raised his head and bit my lower lip.

"Logan.... that feels fucking unbelievable."

His finger was thick, even for a guy's finger. But as the slight pain faded his finger actually felt good. He held it still, buried to his knuckle. I think he felt me finally relax. I watched his face, tentative to every expression I had on mine. I smiled lightly at him, letting him know I was feeling anything but pain. His smile turned to a grin as he slowly pulled his finger out and then pushed it back in. I'd never had anything up my ass, much less a finger, or my boyfriend's finger for that matter.

His fingering started slow and gradually picked up pace. There was slight pain, but I didn't let it show. The last thing I wanted was Logan worrying about me. I slightly arched my back and gently squirmed under him. He then suddenly stopped and waited for me to calm down.

"You alright?" he asked, a trace of concern in his voice.

"What do you think?" I replied.

He smiled back and began to probe inside me with his lone finger until I felt something snap. I felt my body jump like I'd just been shocked. I heard my own breath cut off. What the hell was that? Logan grinned.

"There it is," he proclaimed.

"Where's Whhaaa....." he cut me off as he rubbed it again. The feeling had me pinned to the bed. I felt my eyes roll back into my skull as the feeling made me feel like I would fall apart. I laid there helpless as Logan continued to stimulate me, or whatever 'it' was inside if me. He lowered his head and gently kissed me neck and shoulder. I grabbed at his head and neck like a life preserver. Every time I felt the electric shock of his finger I clenched harder around him.

"Your joy button, I found it," he said softly into my neck and kissed it.

"Fu-- .... Logan.... mmm... I never would feel like this... ahh, ahh..." I said between breaths.

By now he had his lone finger gliding in and out of me with ease. As his finger pulled out I then felt it enter again, this time accompanied with the dull sting of before. As that faded away I now felt two fingers making me feel even better.

FUCK! He was so fucking tight. His ass muscles putting a choke hold on my fingers every time they went in. But the look on his face, I wanted every ounce of me to believe that my cock could give him the same pleasure as my fingers were. Every time my fingers even came close to his prostate he looked as if he was gonna cum right there. His face showed no discomfort, only ecstasy. The room now echoed with soft moans and labored breaths telling me how good he felt.

I could feel his body almost heave beneath me, like he was bucking with the tender thrusts of my fingers. His ass felt like an oven as my fingers begged to go deeper. With my face still breathing on his neck, I bit my lip and tried to smoothly enter another finger. I raised my head and looked at his pleasure filled face, his lips slightly parted and his eyes barely closed. As my fingers went in for another thrust I added the third. I watched his face, I watched for any discomfort. I felt for any wince or hint of pain. As I pressed my three fingers into him, I felt the hindrance. His hands clasped my neck and back as he groaned, his legs squeezing around my waist. If he squeezed any harder I'd be the one with troubled breathing. I pressed harder into him, gently adding pressure. He's a virgin Logan, take it slow.

Three fingers...? It was enough hard work already getting two fingers to fit. But if two felt better than one, then three had to feel better than both....right? I just hoped I could handle three. I felt Logan's labored breath on my face as I opened my eyes. I felt his left arm under my shoulder as his right fingers worked on coaxing my hole to open up wider. His face looked observant, like he was completely captivated in what he was doing. I watched the beads of sweat roll down his temples as he once again gently pushed into me. And then it popped. He slipped his three thick fingers completely into me. I held my breath and clawed had his hard body. Mother-fucker! Why did it have to hurt this much? I tightly shut my eyes and clenched my teeth as every muscle in my body went spasmadic.

"Fuck!....E-Ethan.... baby, you ok?" Logan said almost frightened.

I opened my eyes as he immediately began to pull his fingers from me.

"Logan, wait!" I commanded as his extraction halted, "I'm ok...."

I smiled, nervously trying to hide the obvious pain. I felt my muscles trying desperately to push his invading fingers from me. My anal ring, stretched to a new capacity.

"You sure?" he said, the worry practically dripping from his voice.

"It's not your fault...." I said wincing slightly, "for a first time, I think I'm doing a pretty good job."

He lightly smiled back at me, his face spelling out the comment ' you dork.'

"I'm not stupid. I knew it'd be painful.... well at first. Well... from what I've heard," I said as I continued to clench my limbs around Logan's body. I watched his eyes as his face flowed over with emotion. He bent down and kissed me gently at first.

"You sure you're ok?" he said, muffled while still kissing me.

I muffled a 'yes' as he slowly began to twist his fingers still lodged knuckle deep in my stretched hole. I guess it was to help get used to the size of his fingers. It must have been working because the pain began to melt away. Slowly at first, then before I knew it I was moaning into Logan's mouth. I was right. Three fingers did feel better than two. His fingers now twisting and thrusting as he once again rubbed that spot deep inside of me. He let my mouth go as my head fell back into the pillow, my mouth still open and my eyes still closed. I let pleasure crash over me as he let his fingers exploit their hold over my body. I guess gay sex just gets better and better.

"You ready?" He whispered as his fingering thrusts slowed, his voice nervous as ever.

I opened my eyes and nodded staring into his. He slowly extracted his fingers, slow enough for me to feel each one as my ring shrunk over each fingertip. My hole felt shocked and tingled as it returned to its original state. Ok, Ethan, You ready?

He held his breath as I slowly pulled my fingers from this fiery hole, my fingers blistering from the heat of his body and now freezing in the tepid air. He finally took a semi deep breath as my fingers fell from his hole. But he still held onto me like if he were to let go he would drown. He opened his eyes as his grip loosened. He bit his lip and reached above him, his hand searching for something as his face stayed fixed on mine. Finally finding what he was looking for he held it in front of my face. I refocused on one of the condom boxes I had bough.

He looked at the label, "Magnum," he said as he looked back at me, lowering the box, "Must be for you."

I smiled big at him as I'm sure I blushed. He fiddled with the box as he finally got it open.

"Just one?" he said as he threw the box aside and held the condom out for both of us to see.

I shrugged my shoulders as he laughed on an exhale. He brought the wrapped condom to his mouth and bit the wrapping, tearing it open, spitting the sliver of plastic aside as well. His eyes and face gestured for me to sit up. I laughed and reluctantly did. I sat on my haunches as Ethan did the same, facing me. He pulled the condom from the rest of the wrapping and threw the foil to the floor.

"You want me to do it?" he said as held the condom out and smiled at me.

I bit my lip and smiled back. He then grinned at me, "I guess that means yes."

Still on his knees he shuffled over and he expertly rolled the condom comfortably over my rock hard cock. I looked down at my now plastic sheathed rod. Wow, we were actually gonna do this. He smiled back at me and tossed me the lube. I caught it with one hand and snapped the top open. He now had a lustful look that washed over his face. He leaned back onto the bed, his knees bent and his legs slightly parted. I squeezed more than enough lube onto my fingers as I brought then back to his blazing hole. Still tightly shut, I pressed my slick fingers back into him, this time with ease. He closed his eyes again and bit his lip as he moaned. I looked back down at the canon between my legs. I better not fucking hurt him. I pulled my fingers from him and grabbed the lube bottle again and squeezed a plentiful amount onto my palm. I rubbed it over the length of my cock as I watched Ethan, ready for me.

He spread his legs a little wider for me. I had fantasies about this moment, me fucking Ethan, and the position that we were in was how I'd always wanted it to be. I wanted to be facing him. I wanted to see the expressions on his face. I brought the head to the entrance of his hole, both of us holding his legs up, my hands gripping him from behind his knees and his right below mine. I bit my lip and looked at him, his face a little worried. But he nodded, telling me to go on. I let my hips press into, the head of my cock begging for entrance. I looked down to see my cock pressing but going nowhere. I looked back at Ethan's face beginning to show a little more discomfort. I bit my lip harder, for sure making it go white while I pressed harder into him. We'd gotten this far....

This definitely wasn't fingers. It felt like trying to fit a telephone pole through a straw. But I wanted him in me, I don't know why. Maybe on some weird subconscious level I needed to feel like I belonged him, and he belonged to me, and only he was allowed up there. I shut my eyes tighter. I prided myself on my pain tolerance. I was told that pain was only weakness leaving the body, but who ever came up with that saying obviously was never in my position. The only thing I could do was try to relax.

I felt Logan's pressure on my hole strengthen, his broad cock stretching me open, millimeter my millimeter. This had to get better. It had too. I took another deep breath and tried to relax like I did with his fingers. As I did I felt the head beginning to split me open and Logan groan deeply, the vibration of his body resonating into mine, a warm pleasure that was immediately eclipsed by the stinging throb of thickness invading me. I held my breath and tried to keep a calm face. I shut my eyes again as I felt my them moisten and a then a tear roll down off my cheek and onto the pillow. I couldn't hide it anymore.

"Owwwhhh....Logan....." I said through clenched teeth.

I uncontrollably clenched my ass muscles around the head of Logan's cock, throwing the thought of relaxation out the window. I opened my eyes and saw Logan scrunch his eyes shut as his grip on my legs hardened. The hurt in my hole turning to lethal sting. Logan shot his eyes open as I stopped breathing all at once. He pulled out as the pain lingered. He quickly lowered my legs and crawled back over me, his breath on my lips as he brushed the hair in my face aside.

"Shit! Ethan..... you ok?" he said, panic in his voice.

The pain now bearable, I gave him a relived and recovered look and nodded. I'm sorry Logan, I thought I could handle it and take it like a man. I guess I'm not as man I thought I was.

I pulled him up onto his knees, and pulled him into me, his face in my neck as I felt his arms resting gently around my waist and shoulders.

"I'm sorry Logan," he whispered onto my shoulder, his fingers tenderly scrapping the skin on my back. I held him tighter.

"No, no. Don't be sorry, "I pulled him away from me and looked at him, his face almost touching mine, "I'm the sorry fuck here. If I... wasn't so selfish."

"shut up Logan," he said, semi-smiling at me, "I thought I could handle it.... but.... I-I I'm just sorry Logan. I can't do this, not now."

I looked down from his contrite glare, "I understand. I won't ask again."

I looked back up and as a surprise he quickly leaned his face into mine, kissing me affectionately.

"Don't look so sad, just means that, well.... I need to just get used to it," he looked down and gently stoked my slick and latex-covered cock, "It's big for a reason right?"

I felt my own eyes begin to water as I leaned in for another kiss. Why was he so good to me? I wrapped my arms back round him tightly as we fell back onto the bed, him under me. I looked around and grabbed the bottle of lube, half empty. I squeezed the remnants of the bottle onto my fingers as Ethan looked at me. His face telling me, 'No, I don't think I'm ready for another go.'

The half worried look faded from his face as I brought my fingers behind me and smeared the lube over my own ass. I shut my eyes slowly as the cool feeling relaxed my nerves. Ethan looked at me as I fumbled around again looking for the other condom. His smile went tender as I ripped open the box and pulled out the condom. We both stared at it as I held it to his lips as he open his mouth. He bit on the corner of the foil wrap as I pulled it away from his mouth, ripping the packet open in the process. I picked the foil shard from his lips and flicked it aside. I pulled the condom from its packaging and slowly got up, me straddling his hips while he was still reclined against his pillow. I gave his perfect cock a few warm strokes before bringing the clear condom to the head, pinching the tip and slowly rolling down his shaft. His cock now swathed, I pulled the condom from my own cock and threw it to the floor.

He looked at me stunned, his mouth hanging open as I stroked the leftover lube up and down his now prepped cock. He brought his right hand to my arm and halted my strokes on his polished tool.


I didn't let him finish, "You know, I wanna get fucked now again too."

He laughed as I caressed his smooth chest and felt over his nipples, like pencil erasers. With my other hand I felt up my own ass, making sure I was lubed enough. I gently poked into myself, entering slightly. Well, I haven't done this since school was out, and now that I was on top of him I felt my ass tingle, anticipating the wondrous feeling Ethan had in store for me. I'd already gone through the whole pain part with Tyson, and I was pretty confident I could take him. I mean I enjoyed getting fucked by Tyson and now I was sure Ethan would feel a hundred times better.

I slowly rose up and hovered my now lubed opening over his beautifully hard cock. He looked into my eyes, his gorgeous brown orbs asking me again if I was sure. I guess after the pain I pull him through, I could only assume he was worried about me. I grabbed his hands and pulled them around my waist. He held them there as I slowly started my decent. He gasped as I felt the tip of the head tickle my opening. I let it gently swipe my hole, exciting it as it did so. I could tell it aroused Ethan as I felt his cock began to pulse beneath me.

I bit my lip and let my muscles relax as I let my body gently fall onto his. I pushed my ass muscles out as I felt the round plump head provoking my hole to open wide. I gasped as it slipped it, with a less work than I anticipated. He was still big, bigger than Tyson, but nothing painful, maybe a little uncomfortable at first. But as my ass adjusted to his width I felt the wonderful wave resonate form his cock working over me.

I looked back down at him as I felt his breath deepen and his hands tighten around my waist. I descended a little more as his lips parted and his back arched. I was so glad he was loving this as much as I was. I was half down when I let him raise his hips slightly, burying more of his cock into my eager ass. As he did so, I felt the crown of his head massage and rub at my new found prostate. I threw my head back and moaned as I let my hands grip and knead his now sweaty pecs.

"Awwhh.... right there Ethan, right there,"

I let him buck once more as I finished my decent and rested on his groin, his pubes brushing my the sensitive skin around my ass and my balls resting at the base of his abs. We stayed still for what felt like a minutes as I let myself adjust to his size. His breathing returned to normal as I felt his perfect cock throbbing in my bowels. He smiled at me. If my cock couldn't make him smile, I was glad my ass could. I clenched my ass muscles around his tool, choking it as he groaned.

"Awwhhh..... Logan, you feel so fuckin' good."

I clenched his cock again as a raised my hips off his, only an inch or two before slamming back down again, letting my inner thighs slap against his groin. Fuck, his cock felt incredible. He grinned back at me as he moved his hands to my ass, one hand on each cheek, pulling them apart and kneading them as I started to bounce on his tool like a pogo stick. I leaned forward and gripped his shoulders as he was now gently thrusting into me as I ground my ass into his every thrust. I was now harshly gnawing on my lower lip and gasping at the pleasure filled shocks his cock was giving me. I missed this. I missed being fucked. I missed this connection that I could only get with another man, and now Ethan being the only man I wanted this with.

"Yeah, fuck..... Logan... ride my dick.... Awwhhh..." he ordered between breaths.

His bucks now turned fierce as I began slamming myself onto his powerful tool. His breath now raced as the shocks of pleasure now morphed into a current. My body couldn't take it anymore. I lowered my head as my legs gave way, feeling like they'd fall off as the waves of ecstasy ignited in my toes and ripped through my body, like a reversed ripple, concentrating on my cock as my balls tightened up into my body.

"Aaahhh..... Aaaahhh.... FUCK... Aaaahh, God..."

My ass muscles crushed Ethan's cock as I felt all the strength in my body melt into my cock and shoot onto Ethan's chest and chin.

There was no way I was every going to fuck anyone else. I doubt anyone else could compare to Logan. His ass was perfect, like a glove made especially for me. He was tight, tighter than any pussy I ever got in high school.

He clenched his ass around my cock again. No, nothing could beat this. I arched my back and wished the feeling would never end. I squeezed his ass cheeks and pulled them apart firmly, in an effort to make my thrusts smooth and prolonged. I felt his balls bounce on my lower abs as he kneaded my pecs and teased my nipples. I watched his body, coated in a thin sheen of sweat, glisten in the light filtering through the curtains, the sexy thin hair of his chest sticking to his skin. My breath was now rapid as Logan's moans went more and more desperate. And then I felt him choke my cock hard, harder than anytime before. My grip turned to steel as I flung my head back, hard into the pillow and moan a dull cry, my cock buried to hilt in his solid ass.

I then heard his moans turn to a cry, his familiar cry of release. I watched as his cock began firing shoot after shoot of pearly ropes of cum onto my sweaty chest and face. His ass convulsed, begging my cock to cum along with his. And it worked. My muscles melted into the mattress as I felt my cock widen and then throb in his ass, sparks ripping through my cock, knocking me senseless, his ass almost milking me for every last drop I had to offer.

Logan collapsed on top of me as I brought my arms around him, my face in his chest as I inhaled his sated smell. I licked at his skin and slight hair, tasting his salty flavor. He raised his head and looked at me, smiling satisfied.

"You wanna dismount?" I asked, more breath than speech.

He smiled again and slowly raised up off me, my cock slippery as it plopped from his well worked ass. He fell back on me, this time his face in my chest. I played with his hair as he lovingly licked his thick cum from my chest and neck. He got to my chin as I pulled his face to my mine, kissing him passionately, tasting a flavor that was all him. My tongue explored his mouth, searching for anymore traces of cum he may have had for me.

"Logan..... I-I love you, and I feel like such a loser," I said as the kiss broke, his face hovering over mine. He looked at me funny as I played with his bangs and then caressed my way down his cheek, the newly growing hair grabbing at my fingers.

"I guess I..." I felt his firm lips as I closed my eyes, "I mean, you gave me something that I can't give you.... and... and... I wanna give it to you, I wanna give it to you so fucking badly... but I.... I feel like shit...."

I felt my heart break as I realized that he wanted me. He wanted everything about me. Logan, you've been a fuck-up for ever thinking that he didn't want you to fuck him. His eyes were still closed as I let my lips fall gently on his.

"So you wanted me?" I asked, whispering into his mouth.

His face went contrite as he reliped, "Yeah Logan, even before you asked. And even though you got a bazooka for a cock.... I still wanted it.... I mean I still do."

"I'm sorr-" I kissed him again before he could finish the word.

"Stop saying that, you shouldn't be sorry for anything. It was your first time," I closed my eyes and lightly smiled, "I uh... I was kinda expecting it. Though I did hope the rimming and fingering would've fixed that problem."

Ethan grinned back at me.

"Liked that part didn't you?" I asked, grinning back.

He didn't say anything but I knew he loved it. He let his smiled fade as he asked me, "Logan, do think I'll ever be able to... you know... take you?"

I took a deep breath and ran my fingers through his dark hair. He looked discouraged as he interpreted the look on my face.

"Hey," I said hooking his chin in my fingers, "Don't look at me like that, I'm sure if we take it slow you'll be just fine."

He smiled back at me as he let me kiss him once again. I had the best boyfriend in the whole fucking world.

His kiss was gentle yet passionate, like everything else about him. I thought back to how he looked at me as I fucked him, the pleasure almost radiating form his face. I wondered and now almost longed to know what it felt like. Something told me I knew I'd love it. But as for now it only added to my insecurities, telling me that it was impossible for Logan to ever be that man to make me feel the pleasure I wanted to feel. No, Logan was the only guy I would ever let fuck me, only him.

As his kiss faded away he grinned back, his white teeth glowing at me. He got up and ran his fingers down my sternum, over my abs and then around my softening cock, still enclosed in the condom. I watched as he skillfully rolled then pulled it off, traces of cum soaking the sides and head. He repositioned himself back, so his face now lingered over my semi-hard cock. He licked it once, taking a mess of cum into his mouth. I let my head fall back into the pillow. It was still sensitive as ever. I looked back down at him as I watched him suck the head into his mouth and clean my cock with gentle suckles and delicate swipes. He let it go, now void of any protein remains. He got back up and rolled over, crawling and then laying next me, kissing me as he let me taste my essence on his lips and tongue. I pulled away, biting my bottom lip and smiling.

"So what's next?" he asked, as I sat up, throwing a pillow behind me and leaning against the wall and bars of my bed, him still laying completely down, his head in another pillow.

"I dunno," I said as I held my hand out, gesturing him to give me the spent condom. After me handed it to me I tossed it into the trashcan on the other side of the room, mimicking a shot from the free throw line.

"So you wanna just lay here in bed?" Logan asked, getting up and sitting next to me in the same way.

I brought my hand back to his face running my thumb across his lower lip and cheek as he looked at me.

"Yeah, why not?" I said as he smiled in agreement. He grabbed my hand and gently began to stroke my forearm, holding it in front of him. He opened my palm and examined it like some circus fortuneteller.

"What? You're telling me you read palms now? You, mister 'I'm a big football star, there's nothing that says gay about me at all'."

"That's not true," he protested, "You know as well as I do that the only reason our friends know about us is because we practically have our feelings written on our foreheads."

Fuck! He was right. Well right now, at home, in my bedroom, I didn't care. I let my head fall and rest on his broad shoulder as he continued to scan my open palm with both hands, running his wide fingertips over my callused skin. Right now, if anyone else knew about us, I could care less.

He was about to say something but didn't. I was right, I may not have noticed it but I know I had my love written all over me. I looked back at his palm, almost pink, his fingers bent as I extended them.

"Well, my uh... ex-girlfriend used to read... palms that is. Some fascination she had growing up."

Ethan looked at me puzzled as he looked up from my shoulder. I laughed under my breath at him as he asked, "She what does my hand say about me? Besides the fact that I gave up masturbation since we started going out."

I laughed out loud as he chuckled, "Well..." I let my voice go serious and a bit more sincere, "All I can really say is that you're gonna live a long life.... with me I hope."

He smiled warmly at me as I looked past his palm and onto his wrist. I looked at the lesion scars on his forearm, almost too vague to notice if you weren't looking for them. I ran my thumb along one the larger scars. He lifted his head off my shoulder.

"Long life huh?..." he said as he gently pulled his hand from my grasp, "I guess you were right.... that's not for me to decide."

I grabbed his wrist tenderly, showing that I wasn't upset, just worried, "Ethan? I know its maybe too early too ask.... but, what happened?"

He looked at his lap and then my grasp on his wrist, "Well I'm guessing you noticed it before today right?"

I nodded and slowly started to caress his skin in my hand with my fingers. He just looked at my hand, at my loving gesture. He took a deep breath and finally smiled, halfheartedly.

"Well, you know.... Typical troubled teen in America."

I looked down at his forearm, at the hash marks running across his veins. Was his life that unbearable? Agonizing at it might have been I still couldn't comprehend the thought of Ethan not here with me. He was everything I wasn't.

"So you tried to.... uhh..k-"

"Kill myself? Uhh... I tried once, but for the most part..... I just tried to bleed the pain, make me feel something else for a change."

This time I rested my head on his shoulder, feeling him take deep breaths.

"It was after my parents split that it got bad. My home life was falling apart, Tera dumped me and I felt that my mom and dad didn't need any of my problems on top of theirs. In the end my dad moved to Phoenix, took my sister Avery and my brother Kyle with him.... but I still saw them during breaks and vacation."

He took another deep breath and looked the other way, "I got it into my deluded head that somehow I wasn't meant to be happy. And I....."

He took another deep breath, "...started to cut myself, hoping that it would give me the feeling that there was still some pain that I had control over."

He scoffed, "I tried to hide it from everyone. Besides Kyle and Terrence, no one else seemed to notice... my parents were too busy yelling at each other, my sisters with their boyfriends... and me and my bother at home..... "

My parents were divorced, but that was way before I could remember. I was about to say something when he said, "I was a teenager... and I didn't know how to handle my heart being shredded in everyway possible way..... and if you ever left me....."

He turned and finally looked at me, his brown eyes glazed over with moisture. I felt bad for asking him remember. I kissed him affectionately soft and held his face to mine.

"Never," I said above a whisper, "Don't even think about it."

I brought his hand to my face and rubbed my cheek into his palm.

"Ethan.... YOU make me happy. If I ever left you I'd only be killing myself..... and I'm sorry for bringing it up..."

"'s ok. I was planning on telling you, sometime... sooner or later."

I kissed the inside of his fingers as I asked, "So are you happy now?"

He nodded once, smiling softly at me as he crawled back on top of me, "Never been happier."

He hopped off the bed and then froze as he took a slow step.

"You ok?" I asked.

"Yeah, just a little sore," he replied as he picked up his underwear, slipping them on and then his pants. He tossed me my jeans.

"What?" I asked as I looked at the bundle of denim in my hand.

"Remember, Terrance walked in on us last time," he said as he buttoned up his fly.

"Oh yeah," I said as I slipped on my pants, "So we still gonna spend the rest of the day in bed?.... shirtless?"

"Ah-huh," he said as he grabbed the TV remote from his night stand and turned it on. He crawled to the foot of the bed and pulled out a Nintendo Controller.

He was about to reach for the other when I said, "I wanna watch you play for a little bit."

He placed the other controller, my controller, at the foot of the bed. He turned on the power as I looked at his night stand. I sat up and leaned against the wall, noticing an open envelope with a few pictures tucked inside. He saw me look notice them as he grabbed them and handed them to me.

"They're from my brother Kyle. He's a corpsman in the Navy," he said as I pulled them out and looked at the first on. I felt a chilling shock run from my eyes to my brain. Ethan and Kyle, they looked exactly alike, the only thing telling them apart being the military uniform and haircut. They had the same smile, same body and same face. I looked back at Ethan.

He looked back at me and grinned, "Don't get any ideas...."

"No... I mean, yes twins are hot, but that's not the point. You two are like Xerox copies."

"Well, maybe.... you could say he's the straight one."

I smiled and looked back at the pictures. As I came to the last one I noticed a familiar looking guy with buzzed brown hair and brilliant green eyes. I know him form somewhere.

"You know who this is?" I said, showing Ethan the picture.

He pressed pause and took a good look, "Oh, that's one of Kyle's marine buddies. Wes I think his name is."

"....Wes...?" well I certainly didn't recognize the name. I put the pictures back on the night stand and leaned back pulling Ethan unto me. His back firmly nestled into my chest as he played his favorite survival horror game. I shuffle a bit, finally noticing the dull ache in my ass. I guess I was a little sore as well. I smiled as I wrapped my arms around his waist. I liked this, just me and Ethan.... and all the time in the world.

End Chapter 9: For You