This is a story revolving around the life of a gay man. If this offends
you... well, you offend me, so go away. Also, if you're looking for a story to jack-off
to, you might want to look elsewhere. I don't have plans to do any graphic sex scenes
anytime in the near future.
"So, do either of you have any idea where we should go to eat?" I asked,
taking my eyes off the road for a moment to glance at Ethan who was sitting in the seat
next to me.
Up till then Ethan had been staring out the side window, obviously thinking about
something. When I spoke up, he turned his attention to me "Didn't you mention
Juanita's? That sounds fine to me. It's been awhile since I was there."
I smiled. "How about telling me what you were thinking about."
"You.. us. I was wondering if I'm ready to deal with myself instead of shoving it to
the back of my brain. Up until this afternoon, I never would have considered myself gay. I
tried to convince myself that I was just bi, since I could still say I found women
attractive. But I'm not bi; I know it. I'm just not sure how ready I am to deal with it
all. Behind closed doors, it's easy. It's just you and me. And Ally in some cases."
The last comment caused some giggling from Ally in the back seat. "But in
I don't know. I've spent so much time hiding from myself, that it will
probably take awhile before I stop doubting myself."
I took one hand off the steering wheel and brushed Ethan's cheek. "I know exactly
what you mean. I think I mentioned that I'm not out of the closet either. And even though
I'm comfortable with myself now, I went through a similar stage that you're in. I had Ally
to help me through that. Now you have both of us.
Ethan grinned. "God, you guys are so sweet. I think I'm going to get a cavity if you
keep it up." We all laughed at that, and after a few minutes I looked at Ally in the
"What about you, Al? Do you have any ideas where we should eat?"
"Juanita's is fine by me."
"Great, Juanita's it is then! I just hope it's not too busy."
I ended up eating my words. Juanita's was packed.
"Dammit, I knew I shouldn't have said anything!" I sighed. "Oh well, we can
either wait here or find somewhere else, but since it's so late, everywhere else is going
to be packed too." After a second, I noticed that Ethan was grinning. "What's
that about? Why do you look so happy?"
"Juanita is an old friend of the family. I bet I can get us a great table. Did you
know they have tables on the balcony?"
I nodded. "Everyone does, but you have to call in special for them."
Ethan smiles again. "Watch this." He turned to the Host and started saying
something in Spanish. "Carlos, usted lo piensa seria posibles para mi amigos e I a
sentarse en el balcon?"
The host smiled. "Of course, Senor. Templeton, I'll let Senora Espinoza that you're
here. I'm sure she'll want to see you."
We followed Carlos up the antique-looking stairs to the large balcony and sat at a table
surrounded by tropical-looking plants. Because it was still early September, it was warm
enough to sit in the outside area. Otherwise we would have been stuck sitting inside.
The view from the balcony was amazing. In spite of the busy road in front of the
restaurant, the back was a beautiful garden where some of the vegetables used in the
cooking were grown. They of course had to buy most of what they used from stores; the
small garden would never be enough to feed people everyday. But Juanita liked to use the
fresh veggies whenever possible.
"Would you like to order something to drink while you look over the menu?"
Carlos asked after helping Ally into her seat. We all ordered sodas, and when Carlos
returned, we ordered our meals.
Once we'd settled in to wait, Ally turned her sights on Ethan. "So, tell me about
yourself. I want to know everything," As she spoke, I had a vision of her with red
eyes and fangs, moving in for the kill. "Absolutely everything."
Ethan was visibly intimidated, and I didn't blame him. Ally could be extremely overbearing
when she wanted to be. I decided I would give my new friend a break, and came to his
rescue. "Ally, take it easy on him, will ya? He's a fragile little thing."
Ally gave me a pouty look, but I didn't back down. "I don't want you grilling him for
information. You can have a nice, normal conversation without making him feel like he's
"I'm not going to interrogate him, Ben. I just want to know more about him. I'm sorry
if it seems like I do interrogate your friends, but I'm just asking questions."
"That's just it, Ally. You ask questions. You don't let anyone else ask them of you.
What if Ethan wants to know more about you?"
"He can ask all the questions he wants..."
"Hey! People! I'm sitting right here, y'know. I can hear everything you say, and I
don't particularly like being talked about as if I'm not." Both startled by Ethan's
outburst, Ally and I swung our heads to look at him.
"I didn't realize we were talking about you like you weren't there," I told him.
"It's just that Ally can get a bit overzealous when it comes to meeting new
"Hey! That's not fair, Ben. I'm not purposely trying to interrogate anyone. I'm sorry
you see it that way."
"Whether you mean to or not, you do. Some of my friends are a bit put off by it. But
anyway, I was joking earlier for the most part. It's one of the things that makes me love
you so much. And besides, anyone who can't withstand a bombardment from you isn't worth
being friends with anyway."
Ally smiled and tugged at my arm. "That's so sweet
I think. Anyway, I forgive
you, Ben. I hate it when we get in these silly arguments."
"Ahem, can I say something again?"
Ally and I turned our attention back to Ethan. "Go ahead."
"I just wanted to say, first of all, that if I didn't know better, I'd think you to
were married-or at least dating. It's so cute how you to argue. And about what you said,
how anyone who can't withstand Ally's interrogation isn't worth being friends with
Well, all I can say is that I better be able to withstand it: I'm really starting to like
I couldn't say anything for a moment. Ethan's statement had left me speechless. I'm also
sure that I turned 8 shades of red at the same time.
"Um, are you ok, Ben?"
"Yeah, yeah," I finally managed. "I.. uh
it's just that what you
said; it means a lot to me."
This time, it was his turn to blush.
"Oh God, Ethan. You don't know how much I need to kiss you right now."
He looked up, evidently startled, and didn't say anything for a moment, and then startled
me when he said; "Go ahead."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure. There's no one here to see us, and at this moment, I don't care
who sees us."
I only hesitated for a moment before leaning forward until my lips touched Ethan's. The
kiss was tentative at first; almost forced. But then he put his hand on my neck and I
melted. The kiss became more passionate and I put my hand on his thigh, rubbing slowly. He
moaned into my mouth, our tongues intertwining.
"Um, excuse me.. I don't mean to interrupt."
Ethan and I pulled away to find Carlos standing by the table with our drinks. Ally started
laughing hysterically as Ethan and I blushed and scooted our seats away from each other.
"Now, I'll just take your orders and let you two get back to your fun." Carlos
continued, spurring another burst of laughter from Al. As we ordered, I kept stealing
glances at Ethan. I hadn't felt this giddy about something since I was a kid during
Christmas. I also realized how much I missed it.
"Ben, can I ask you something?" Ethan asked in the car as we headed toward his
house. We'd already dropped Ally off, and after promising to give her all the details, if
there were any details to give, she finally let us go.
"Sure, what's up?"
"I was wondering how you think your parents will react when you come out to
I didn't say anything for a moment, his question catching me slightly off guard.
"Well, I think my mother knows already, at least to the point that I'm attracted to
men. When I was trying to figure things out, I did some 'research' on the internet, but I
wasn't as careful as I should have been. Actually, I didn't think she knew how to check
the History, so I didn't bother deleting anything. I never made that mistake again, but
the damage had already been done, so to speak. Whenever I'm ready to come out, I think she
won't be surprised in the least. My father is a different story though. I really don't
feel as though he's ever been part of my life. I don't want to him to be anymore. He never
bothered to be my father when I was younger, so I stopped bothering to be his son."
"Oh," was all the reply Ethan gave me.
"So why do you ask?"
"Well, my family is very close. It's not just my parents and me, it's everyone. My
aunts and uncles and cousins all live close, and we're almost always together. If I came
out, it wouldn't just be to two people, it would be to my entire family." He stopped
for a moment. "I'm afraid it would be too overwhelming."
"But didn't you say your family is close? Don't you think they'd be accepting of
"Yes-and no. My cousin Paul came out --no, that's not exactly true. More like he was
outed. He'd been working as a gay prostitute to earn extra money. Somehow his parents
found out and were furious. Paul decided that he'd rather continue when he was doing than
live with his family
I haven't heard from him in 3 years. His parents refuse to
acknowledge his existence."
"Oh Ben.. I'm so sorry." I put my hand on his thigh. "I hope that your
parents are more accepting. I'll be there for you no matter what."
"No, you don't understand. His parents weren't mad because he was gay, it's because
he was selling his body. But the reason I'm worried is that they tend to think all gay men
are the same way. I don't want them to think I'm selling my body like Paul was."
"Ok, I understand now. But I'll still be there for you. Always."
Ethan smiled, but I could tell his heart wasn't into it.
We pulled into his driveway a few minutes later, and as he started to get out of the car,
he looked back at me. "Well? Aren't you going to walk me to the door?"
I wasn't about to say no, so I turned the car off and followed him to the door.
"Ben, thanks for the incredible evening. It was really just what I needed." He
leaned over and kissed me on the cheek just as the front door opened