Disclaimer: This story contains sexual content of a homosexual nature between consenting teenagers. It is intended for mature audiences only. If you are under legal age, offended, or otherwise do not wish to view material of a frank and sexual nature do not read this story.

Author's Note: This is a work of fiction.   I would gladly appreciate any feedback.  This includes constructive criticisms. 

Please send to star-sapphire@hotmail.com

Copyright 2005 by star-sapphire
All Rights Reserved.

My Amsterdam Diaries

Part 1

"Have you ever had sex in the rain?"

That was the first question on the survey I had to fill out for his Sex Ed class. I had to stop and read it twice, I was so shocked. I knew my move from Jersey to Amsterdam was going to bring changes but I didn't expect this.

It was my first day of classes of my junior classes as a foreign exchange student. I knew college was going to be different in Amsterdam, I just didn't realize how different. For my first semester in the most liberal country in the world I decided I was going to take all easy classes so I could keep my grades up and while enjoying a new much more liberal lifestyle. I had already been enjoying that liberal lifestyle the past 3 days, smoking more weed in those three days than I even knew existed. I was already so well known in the area I lived in along with the two bars close to my home. Blinking a few times to make sure I was actually sober I finally reread the question.

"Have you ever had sex in the rain?"

"What kind of class did I sign up for?" I though, pulling my schedule out of my bag.

Period 1: Gay Sexual Studies

"Why did I have to go to registration high?" I thought as he read the rest of the schedule.

Period 2: Anatomy of the male form

Period 3: Sculpting the male form (hands on studies)

Period 4: Nude Photography (Subject = Male)

"Maybe I have the wrong schedule..." I hoped as I looked at the student info portion of the schedule?

Name - Star Sapphire

"Why did my parents have to have me in their hippy phase?" there was no one else in the school by that name but I hoped it was wrong and continued to read.


SS# XXX -- 57 -- 6857

"SHIT" I thought "I haven't even tried being with a guy yet and I am studying how to be gay? I wanted to do self exploration not be taught!!" Now pissed. I must have been thinking about a guy while I filled out the paper work. The part that really pissed me off was the school policy of no schedule changes what so ever. "Nothing I can do now" I said quietly resigning to finally fill out the 5 question survey.

  1. Have you ever had sex in the rain? Yes
  2. Have you ever beet to a strip club? Yes
  3. Have you ever had sex in a place where you could have easily been caught? yes
  4. Have you ever accidentally hurt someone because u was so "in the moment"? yes
  5. Have you ever been part of an affair? Yes


This was the only work assigned for today. We were to fill out the survey and find someone we didn't know and exchange the survey. No talking was to be involved. Just an exchange and then back to the seat you came from.

I stood up from my seat and looked around the class room, looking for another poor soul that put them into the same predicament. Finally I settled on one. He was gorgeous and looked lost. Had to be at least 6'2" silky light brown hair with streaks of black, a little on the skinny side, but still looked good in his clothes. I walked right up to the boy and exchanged papers with him and sat back down in my chair. Right away I opened the paper and read it. The guy had answered no to all of the questions. All of the sudden I felt very self conscious and very glad the bell rang for the class to be over.

"HEY!!" I heard as I walked out of the classroom. I looked back to see the hot guy I just traded with trying to get my attention.

"Oh shit, here he comes now. Should I tell him I lied on it? Should I tell him a lie? Should I say it is true? What if he doesn't even ask about it and just hits me? What if..."

" `Ello? Are you ok?" the guy said waking me from his thought.

"Oh, uh, hi"? I stammered, making sure not to make eye contact with the guy.

"Hi my name is Johan. Were all those answers true?"

"Yes" I said not believing I just admitted to it to this hot stranger. "Is that a problem?"

"No not at all, kinda sexy actually" Johan said realizing I was getting tense.

I was stunned. "Did this guy just say I was sexy?" I thought as he walked past me out of the classroom.

Finally getting the guts I ran to catch up with him

"Do you really think that?" I yelled forward to him.

"Yeah really!! As you could see I haven't done anything. I am new to all of this. Like I said my name is Johan, What's yours?" he said slowing down so I can catch up.

"I'm Star. I know I sound like I should be a drag queen but I'm not. My parents were hippies" I said embarrassed of my name.

"Star does sound kind of like a drag name, but that's ok because I like it"

"Thanks" I said blushing from ear to ear.

We went on talking for about 10 minutes before we both realized we had to go to class. We exchanged numbers and went on our way. All I could think about was Johan all day. He told me he was on the swim team; he was here on a sports scholarship. He is so adorable and then athletic at the same time. I wondered what he looked like in his Speedo for most of that afternoon. On my way home from school, I was still all lost so I decided to stop at a pot shop on the way. I ordered a half dozen `Juana brownies and sat down at a window table to sort out my thoughts. How could this gorgeous boy with a swimmer build and stunning features think I am sexy? I am the typical American skater boy. I had my blonde and blue hair spiked, carrying a skateboard, wrist band on, black button up covering my slim body, and a nice pair of low rise boot cut tan corduroys on. I looked so out of place here with my eyebrow piercing and my gauged ears. It just doesn't seem right that he would find me sexy.

Halfway through the last brownie I feel my hip start to vibrate. I pull out my cell. It is a message from Johan.

"Yes I really do think you are sexy so quit thinking about it already!"

How did he know I was thinking about that? This guy knows me so well!!

"Who says I'm thinkin bout you??" I counter trying to be witty.

I finish my last brownie thinkin I had made him quiet when all the sudden my phone was ringing. He was calling me this time...

"What's up" I said

"No one has to tell me a thing" the phone stops but I still hear him "I can see it in your face" he finishes as he is sitting down at my table.

"How did you find me?"

"Where else would I look than the bar that everyone says that blue haired American boy keeps going to?"

"People are talkin about me?"

"Don't let it go to your head, it's the natives that say that. They think you are weird"

"Oh ok" I said blushing a little bit for expecting somethin good

"I'm just sad that you ate without me"

"I'm sorry" I said getting up from the table "I will be right back"

I went straight to the restroom. How is my hair? My breath smell ok? I was freaking out but I had to go back out there. On the way back I stop to get some more brownies and couple of sodas.

When I set the food and drinks down on the table Johan looked at me with a very sly little grin that made him look so much sexier.

"I didn't mean you had to buy me food" he said "Now I feel bad"

"Don't! I get it free so I didn't buy anything. I work here so I am actually being a cheap date."

He looked at me again with that little grin while I sat down. I was being very flirtatious with my body language. I leaned in close to him trying to be cute and got something I didn't expect. He leaned in too and kissed me right in the middle of the café. The kiss only lasted a couple of seconds but I swear it was at least 20 minutes in my world.

As calmly as if nothing happened he takes a drink and starts on the brownies. I decided to follow suit and acted like nothing happened. We got to know each other more over a few more sodas and about 2 dozen more brownies. We were both pretty baked by the time we got up to leave. On the way out he invited me to his house and of course I agreed. When we got to his place I was amazed. He had a beautiful loft apartment that was actually pretty close to my house. We sat for a while staring out the window and talkin some more as the stars came out. After a while it got silent and he laid his head on my shoulder. It was so cute that I leaned my head to look at him. Sensing what I was doing he lifted his head up at the exact moment and we fell head first into a very passionate kiss. After about 10 minutes of kissing I noticed the slight grinding movements coming from his hips along with the firm rod I felt moving along my inner thigh. Somehow we had moved to where I was laying on my back and he was on top of me. He bulge was now running along the crack of my ass. At first I was shocked but that only lasted a couple of seconds until the rush of pleasure came over me. I started moaning which he took as his cue to continue. He lifted of my shirt and started kissing his way down to my nipples. While he worked on those his hands were slowly unbuttoning my pants. There was so much pleasure going through my body that all I could do was moan in one fail swoop he took my pants and underwear off and replaced them with his mouth. He immediately went to town sucking on my cock. I was already feeling like I was going to blow. I think he realized because just as I finished the though he took his mouth of my cock and reposition me with my legs in the air and was rimming my hole. I had never been with a guy before so all of this was new to me and had me gasping for more. Eventually he moved back up to my nipples and started kissing my neck he started to naw on my left nipple when I felt his finger go inside me. I was so surprised that it didn't hurt. It felt a little weird though. It felt like he was searching for something. Wiggling his finger around. I was just about to tell him to stop when he found what he was looking for. Hitting the bump inside me made me moan really loud. Now I know why so many boys are gay. This felt fabulous. I was in so much pleasure I never noticed he had added two more fingers to the mix. I was so turned on that I never saw him put the condom on and lube it up. My eyes were shut completely enjoying the ecstasy I was in. all I know is I felt it stop for just a second then it was replaced with pain. What just happened? I opened my eyes to see him sliding his cock all the way inside me. I was about to scream in pain when I felt him hit the same pump his fingers were playing with. I could still feel the pain but the pleasure came back. He worked is way all the way inside me slowly and held it there for a moment flexing his cock to vibrate my prostate. The pain was subsiding and the pleasure was amazing then he started to pull out ad he slid past the bump again the pleasure waves grew. He started slowly pulling and pushing his cock in and out of me. He had a look of pure ecstasy on his face as he bent down to kiss me. From that position he hit the spot perfectly and I moaned the loudest moan yet. He started to fuck me harder. The harder he went the more I asked for. He was pounding my ass with such force I could hear his balls slapping against my ass. He bent down and started kissing me again and then he bit my ear. The pleasure was so immense I came without touching myself at all.

The pleasure I felt from this orgasm outweighed everything else that was going on at that moment. As I was coming down from my high I finally started to realize what was going on. I just had sex with a boy? I don't even know this guy? Even back home I wouldn't sleep with the girls until I had been dating them for at least a month. Why would I go off and fuck this guy that I just met. Maybe I shouldn't have come to Amsterdam. I have already started turning in to the people I hate. All I do is smoke pot all day. That's not me at all. Sure I wanted to try it, but I didn't want it to control my life! This is stupid. I have lost control of my self. I am not the boy this guy thinks I am. I have to get out of here. Without a word I stood up and started dressing. I was in such shock I didn't care about the cum on my stomach I just put my shirt on over it.

I must have looked sick or something because as I was getting dressed Johan had a very scared and puzzled look on his face,

"What's wrong?" he asked, seeing me rush into my clothes and head for the door.

"This isn't me" I said as the tears started poring out of my eyes.

"What are you talking about Star?"

"Just leave me alone"

That was it. I was out of the apartment and running for my home. Everything was a blur. All I wanted to do was hide. Why did I feel the need to get high at all times? Amsterdam isn't as great as I thought it would be. I haven't even been here a week and I already became a whore! Why would I do such a thing? That's it I am giving up pot! I can't do this ever again. I don't want to be with guys I like girls. Or do I like guys now too. Maybe if I never smoke again I will stay straight. Is it possible that weed makes me gay? Why can't I figure this out?

Then I realized what I was feeling. This was the same guilt I felt the first time I jerked off. I had been told it was wrong but it felt so good at the time. When it was over all I could feel was ashamed. It took me a long time to overcome that feeling of guilt and realize that it was a perfectly natural thing for a man to jerk it once in a while. IT was also the guilt I felt the first time I has sex with a girl. Again I had been taught that sex outside of marriage was wrong, but how can you deny yourself something that feels so amazing. Now I am feeling the same guilt after having slept with a guy. Was it because I had been taught that it was wrong. Or was it because it just plain was wrong? Sure I had been taught that homosexuality was wrong but I thought it was ok. I didn't see why it could be bad. Now I know why. Fags don't care as much as I do. I shouldn't have slept with Johan. I don't have feelings for him. Sure he is stunning with his electric blue eyes staring directly into mine but I told myself I would never fall victim to lust. I broke my own rule. This place is going to be hell me. This was supposed to be an easy year and it has already become the hardest year of college so far and it was just the first day of school.

Feeling lost I went home to my foster family for the year. They greeted me when I walked in the door but I said nothing, I just walked up the stairs to my room shed my clothes and took a shower. I had to clean up and rid myself of the day I just had. After my shower I went directly to bed and tried to fall asleep. It was impossible all I could think about was Johan. Why am I thinking about him? I don't even know him. Finally I fell asleep after coming to the decision that I would talk to him after school tomorrow and explain everything.