Date: Mon, 28 Aug 2000 20:58:52 -0500 (CDT)
From: Sextorian@webtv.net
Subject: My first love

On the first day of my sophmore year in high school, I met Chad. He was
about 6', 175-180, blonde, green eyes, and extremely cute. He was not a
"muscle-stud", not fat or skinny, he had muscles, but not well-defined
like a body-builder's. He was just "normal" I guess. I fell in love with
him the moment I saw him. I told myself in that first moment of meeting
him that I needed to do whatever it took to have him as my own.

It ended up we both had many similar interests, and hit it off pretty
good. Due to the fact we were in a vocational school, we had the exact
same classes every day except for 1 hour, so we saw each other a lot. We
became very close friends. I fell more and more in love with him the
more I got to know him. He was from a well-off family who lived in a
$250,000 house about 20 miles from me. Remember this was almost 20 years
ago, so now that same house is probably worth a million. They weren't
"rich", but just very comfortable. Upper-middle class I guess. I had my
own car, and he eventually invited me to his house after school and on
weekends. His parents were very nice, especially his mother. She fell in
love with me, like a third son. (He had a little brother, too.)

By graduation from high school, I was sure I was gay, and sure I wanted
him. But I was scared to come out to him or make a move, because then I
might lose him forever, even as just a friend. It ended up we both
decided to go to the local community college. Me due to financial
reasons, him due to both finances (although I know he could have gone
elsewhere) but even more so because he just wasn't ready to leave home
yet.

We were both in the Electrical Engineering program, so had many of the
same classes there, too. After a few months, I decided to move to the
city to be closer to school (and him). I got an apartment, and we hung
around together all the time. Either I was at his house or he was at my
apartment. (Which I shared with 2 other guys, mutual friends of us
both.) Actually it was a house and I rented a room. Well, the owner of
the house got arrested (for rape from what I heard, but never found out
the whole story), and ended up selling the house. So I had to move home.

Chad's mom and I were talking about it, and she asked me if I would move
in with them. I was dumbfounded! I told her I didn't want to impose, and
she said nonsense, I was one of the family. She said they had a
roll-away bed they could put in Chad's room and I was to stay with them
during school sessions. I was in heaven! Just think I would be sleeping
next to the guy I loved! And this could lead to many opportunities to
see him naked. She said I could be Chad's live-in tutor as payment. (I
was a straight A student and Chad was B's and C's.) I asked her what
Chad Sr. and Chad himself would think of this. She said don't worry
about Sr., she would handle him and let's see what Chad thinks right
now, and she called him down from his room right then.

She asked what he thought of our little arrangement and he was very
happy and excited and thought it was great. This encouraged me even
more, knowing he was happy I would be sleeping in the same room with him
and stuff. It ended up Sr. was good with it too, but he expected me to
do my share like anyone else in the family. You know, chores like mowing
the lawn and washing the cars and stuff like that. Which of course was
no problem. Hell, I would have been their slave to be with Chad all the
time. So I moved in to their home and was accepted as one of the family.

Even before I moved in with them, Chad had this little "game" he would
play. Not just with me but with other friends as well. When the mood hit
him, he would like grab my ass or crotch for a second, then let go and
say something like "Oooo, the faggot liked THAT!", then laugh. I would
always come back with something like "Yeah, whatever, gayboy", and act
like I didn't care, although it excited me terribly and I wished he
would just grab me and not let go.

Eventually, I also started playing the game, grabbing him now and then,
but only for a second or two. It was better than nothing. Then I would
relive the moment later as I jacked off alone.

One day, after showering in the basement, I went upstairs to dress and
stuff, and Chad went to the basement to shower after me. After getting
dressed, I went back down to the basement to hang up my wet towel (and
see if I could get a peek at Chad in the nude in the process.) When I
got to the bottom of the stairs, I about had a heart attack. Chad was
buck naked, laying spread-eagle on the floor jacking off. He saw me
immediately, and I just stood there staring with my mouth hanging open.
Not only was he naked, but HARD and JACKING OFF! He didn't even slow his
strokes down. He just looked at me and said "Ok, you caught me. I know
you do it, too. I am just sooo horny." I said it's ok, and walked
nonchalantly to hang my towel up, which meant I had to walk right by
him. He reached up and grabbed my leg and pulled me to a stop. I looked
down at him and he was holding his hard cock and shaking it at me and he
says, "go ahead and touch it if you want." I was so excited! I had
waited 3 years for this moment! I bent over and started reaching for his
cock and he pulled it away and says, "Get the fuck out of here! I was
only kidding!" My heart immediately sank. Oh GOD I FUCKED UP! I
stammered out that I wasn't REALLY gonna touch it, I was only joking. I
hung up my towel and went back to our bedroom. When I went up the
stairs, he was still laying there jacking off.

When I got upstairs I started crying. Now he knew I was gay, and he
would make me move out and tell all our friends and everyone at school
and my life was over, or so I thought.

When I heard him coming up the stairs, I quickly dried my tears and
buried my face in a book, pretending to be studying. He came in and
started moving around getting dressed. Normally I would have taken the
opportunity to sneak a peek at him as he dressed, but not this time. I
didn't want him to see I had been crying. Then he went downstairs,
saying nothing. He acted like the whole thing never happened.

Nothing was ever said about that incident. I was so happy he didn't hate
me! I must have played it off ok. I was so scared of losing his
friendship. I vowed to myself I would never come on to him, for fear of
losing his friendship. At least I had that. I could live with that.
(yeah, right!)

About a week later, I was in the upstairs bathroom jacking off. I had
closed the door, but not locked it (I never did.) I was leaned way back
on the seat pumping away, when in barges Chad. He closed the door behind
him, and smiled at me. I immediately got up and tried to pull my pants
up, but he pushed me back down on the seat and says "I knew you were in
here beatin your meat. Now we're even. Don't stop. Go ahead and finish."
Then he left and closed the door behind him. I came almost instantly
after that. When I came out of the bathroom, he said nothing about it
and again acted like it never happened.

I didn't know how to take him. I knew I loved him, more than anything.
Was he gay? Should I come on to him? Should I not come on to him but
just tell him I'm gay? These are questions I asked myself every day.

Then one Sunday night we were at a friend's house watching tv. We had
smoked a couple joints and were all high. Paul was sleeping on the
couch, Chad was laying on the floor beside the couch, and I was sitting
in a chair across the room. Then Chad said his back hurt and asked me if
i would rub it for him. I said sure, trying not to sound too excited
about it. He rolled over on his stomach and I kneeled down next to him
on the floor and started rubbing his shoulders, then his back. I was
very horny and excited to be able to touch him like this. I had a huge
hardon, but he couldn't see it laying like he was. I just kept staring
at his ass. Then my little head took over my big head and I started
rubbing his lower back and I was getting lower and lower. Then I kinda
snapped to my senses and started working my way back up, but then he
moaned and said "That feels sooo good..." So I kept going lower.
Soon I had an ass cheek in each hand and was kneading them like bread
dough. Then I realized I was actually drooling. I had to stop before I
couldn't contain myself. So I slapped his ass and said thats it. He said
"thanks, that was great."

Then I decided to play the "game", and I reached between his spread legs
and under him and grabbed his cock through his jeans. I realized
immediately he was hard. I was so horny. I knew I had to let go, but I
couldn't. It was like a dream where you see yourself doing something and
want to stop but you have no control. So I just kept feeling him up. He
just layed motionless, saying and doing nothing. Then I started rubbing
his balls with my other hand. Still no reaction, except for the
throbbing of his cock. He just layed there while I felt him up. It
seemed like eternity, but was probably actually only a few seconds
later, he rolled over and looked me in the eye and simply said, "Go
ahead and suck it." I was in heaven! Here was the guy I loved telling me
to suck his cock! I undid his pants and pulled them and his underwear
down to his knees as fast as I could. I inhaled his cock into my mouth.
I was in pure ecstasy. I was trying to be as quiet as possible, because
Paul was sleeping on the couch not 2 feet away during the whole thing!
He didn't last very long and came in my mouth, moaning quite loudly. I
swallowed every drop.

When he was done, I went to the bathroom and pulled out my cock and
started jacking off. It only took about 10 strokes and I was coming big
time. I couldn't believe it! I actually got to suck him off!

When I came back, he smiled at me and said thanks. I smiled back and
said "Anytime". Then he said it was time to go, so we woke Paul and said
our goodbyes. Nothing else was said that night about it.

The next day on the way to school, he looked at me and said "I can't
believe you sucked me off last night. I wasn't gonna let you but it felt
soooo good. And I really can't believe you SWALLOWED it!" I just looked
at him and shrugged my shoulders. He said he wasn't gay, but he would
let me suck him off from time to time if I wanted, but not to expect
anything in return. I said that was fine with me.

My head was reeling. Ok, so he wasn't gay. I loved him so much. I didn't
care. At least he didn't hate me and he said he would let me suck him
off again. I guessed it was better than nothing at all.

Little did I know how soon Chad would change his tune....

(More chapters to follow if response is encouraging.)

Email comments to: sextorian@webtv.net