On Any Given Day
By: Kyle J. Oliver
From the end of Chapter One:
I walked him down to the front door, where we exchanged kisses again and he left. Megan was standing there with a stupid grin on her face.
"What the hell do you want, kid?"
She did a very accurate imitation of a banshee. "Ride my ass, Tyler Johannson, slam it into me!
And now, Chapter Two:
Busted! It wasn't the fact that she knew Tyler and I had been having sex, it was more the fact that she did a next-to-perfect imitation of me having sex. One of the curses of having a fair complexion is when you blush, the whole world knows it.
"Gotcha! So that answers that question, I had been wondering." When she got a smirk like that on her face, I usually was in for it.
"What had you been wondering, my annoying twerp of a little sister?" I asked, somewhat afraid of the answer.
"Which one of you is the woman. Looks like I know, now!" Both her and her friend Sam busted up laughing.
Somewhat annoyed, I replied "It's not like that all the time, really. We both do stuff, sometimes he's on top, and sometimes I am, it just depends. One of the joys of gay sex, you can do SO much more than straight people in the sack. Now, what I want to know is what you and Samantha are doing here? Shouldn't you both be at school?" Last time I checked, Isle of Wight County public schools still had another 2 weeks left to go before finals.
"We were, until Megan faked an anxiety attack in Barlow's class and Mrs. Hague let us leave early," Sam butted in, which is an annoying habit of hers.
"Oh. Shame, I never got away with that stuff back in my day. School's getting soft on you kids. So when is Mom coming to pick you up for your visit with Aunt Pam?"
Megan grinned. "Mom called back about an hour ago, she said that since she was letting you and loverboy use her place this weekend, you could just drop me off on your way over." Her normally angelic face twisted into a leer. "Bet you're gonna be sore come Monday..." she said in the most annoying sing-song.
"Oh shut up. You're just jealous because you're not getting any. Go get your shit packed, and we'll be leaving when Tyler calls me back after dinner. And NO smartass comments around him, you scared him out of a day's growth earlier. Poor boy damn near had a heart attack because of you. You could have at least let us know you were here when we got back from the ice cream shop."
"But you two were having too much fun, I didn't want to interrupt."
"Bullshit, you wanted to watch and you know it!"
"Okay, maybe I did, a little. He's hot, you're a lucky fag, you know?" Just like my sister. We joke back and forth all the time like this, her calling me a fag phased me no more than me calling her a bitch phased her. Gotta love sibling bickering.
"I knew it, you're jealous! He's mine, and you can't have any. So hah! Now go pack!" I swatted her ass and added "gehen Sie, schnell!" She hates it when I speak my rather awful brand of German around the house. Muttering under her breath about me being born 60 years too late and in the wrong country, she headed upstairs to her room to pack. Which left Samantha and I in the living room. I went to grab a drink, and sat on the couch. Somewhat carefully, I might add. Sam picked up on this.
"He reamed you out good, didn't he? I heard ya all the way down the street on the way over here." I could tell she was enjoying my errr, discomfort.
"God, you're an evil bitch just like Megan, aren't you?!? Lay off it already." I was seriously getting tired of this shit.
"Whoah, calm down, Kyle, I was just kidding. Jeez, just like a fag. Drama queen." She cracked up at that, which set me off. Say what you will about me, but a drama queen I am not. "Seriously, though. Are you happy?"
Wow. Like a flick of a switch. Sam's got to be one of the most candid people I know when she's serious. Tyler and I graduated high school with her older sister Jen, who was a sometime friend of mine, so I knew her outside of her friendship with Megan. That, and the fact that they lived just around the corner from us meant that I saw her enough to get a line on her personality, and I guess you could call us friends. She still surprised me with that one, though.
"How do you mean, Sam?"
"Not sure. Let me put it another way. I remember you back in school, and you were nothing like this. I see you now, and you're more open, you look happier with yourself, and I'll admit, you're a lot more fun to be around. I think it's because you finally found what you didn't ever have, a relationship with a guy. And you couldn't have picked a better one to hook, either. Tyler... Well, we're all still a little surprised about the two of you being gay, neither one of you is what you could call stereotypical. It's disconcerting, but I'm happy for you. All joking aside. Now, my question again: are YOU happy with yourself?"
"I'm not sure. Part of me is, but I have this nagging feeling in the back of my head about Tyler. Something's just not right, and I can't place my finger on it." I could see her stifling a giggle, and shot her a dirty look. "Pervert, you know what I meant."
"Yeah, yeah, just playing up the role of the stereotypical teenage girl while I still got it."
"God have mercy on your poor sister. How is Jen, anyway?"
"She's good, she's got into UVA's pre-med program, and she's going to be transferring there from Thomas Nelson in the fall. Her and Brian didn't work out, so she's single for the first time in recorded history."
"Hmph, she'll find some poor guy to latch onto and whip into shape." Jen's a great girl, but God help her future husband.
"Yeah, she's not single for lack of trying." Pause. "You know she was after Tyler last summer, right?"
This was total news to me. I can't fault her taste in men, but Ty never mentioned anything about her. "No, I didn't. He never mentioned it. What gives?"
"Apparently she was mooning over him senior year while she was still seeing that guy at Nansemond River. That's why she broke up with him, because she wanted to go after Tyler after graduation. Remember Scott Hodges graduation party?"
I had to stifle a groan. "Bits and pieces of it, why?" THAT had been a party to cap off high school with. The Hodges farm was waaay out on County Road 620, near Southampton County. No one around for miles, which made it great for wild parties.
"That's where she tried to get him, but it didn't work. All I know is she came home the next morning totally depressed, and never mentioned him again. Which is surprising, because she talked about him all the time."
My memory started to jog a bit. It must have had a cramp, because I couldn't remember much beyond making an ass of myself on the dance floor and drinking Scott and some of his buddies under the table. I would have liked to do other things to Scott under the table (what a hunk), but alas, it was not to be. I did remember seeing Jen hanging off of Tyler not long after he got there, and thinking `yeah, right, like she's going to get any of that.' But that was it.
"Now that you mention it, she was all over him at the party. I wonder what happened, why neither one of them said anything?"
"Who knows, but it's apparently not something you have to worry about. You got him, fair and square. Granted, Jen never had a chance, but she didn't know that at the time." Sam shook her head and chuckled. "Ironic, no?"
"Yeah, I have this mental image of God sitting at a desk with a sign that says `Supreme Ironist' behind him." We both snickered at that. "You'd better go check on Megan, lemme go bitch out my mom for making me drag her ass out to Norfolk and subjecting my poor boyfriend to her for a half hour."
"Hehe, Kyle and Tyler, sittin' in a tree, f-u-c.." She fell silent when I clamped a hand over her mouth.
"Hush, peasant. You speak to your mother with that mouth?" I let her go, and she ran upstairs miming a limp and clunking in those heavy boots that are apparently popular. Bloody uncomfortable looking if you ask me, but hey.
I grabbed the phone from the table, dialed up Mom at her place. She picked up after three rings.
"Karen Adams here." After the divorce, she went back to her maiden name.
"Hey, ma. What gives with making me bring Megan? You WANT me to scare Tyler off, or something? I kinda want to keep this one."
My mom has to be one of my favorite people, when she's not being cranky. She wasn't. "Yeah, he is kinda cute. Sorry about not telling you, but it kills two birds with one stone. You know how cantankerous the van gets, and I've still got a 3 hour drive to Pam's house in Fairfax ahead of me. It's not like Smithfield is on the way to DC, and since you and Ty were coming out here..."
"Yeah, ma, I know, I was just being my usual fun whiny self. I really don't think I can get her to watch her mouth around him, and I think she scares him a bit. Earlier, she and Sam surprised us in a bit of a compromising situation, and he was mortified. And you KNOW how Megan is around embarrassment, I swear she thrives on making people blush."
I could hear her stifling a laugh. "Compromising, eh? Dare I ask?" There she goes in that Canadian accent of hers. Mom's originally from Virginia, but grew up in Ontario. Her dad was drafted in 1967 to go to `Nam but he went to Canada instead, taking my grandmother and their two kids with him. Aunt Pam and my mom moved back here when he died in 1978, she met my dad a year later, and they were married.
"No, you dare not ask. Just leave it at compromising. That's better for the sanity of all involved. Besides, you don't really want me to go into my sex life, do you?"
"Hmm, let me think about that. Silence, or my eldest having sex with his hottie of a boyfriend. I think I'll pick silence for $500, Alex. Seriously, though, you're okay with bringing Megan for me?"
I'd have been horrified, but my mother doesn't suprise me anymore. "Ma! Shame on you, you dirty old woman! `sides, how could I say no to you and expect to live? Not like I've got much choice, is it?"
"Attaboy. Remember, you've got to replace any food you take out of my pantry, and I don't have any sodas, so you'll have to pick them up on the way. No wild parties, no stains of any sort on my new furniture, try to use shrink wrapping, and no burn marks. Now be a good boy and put your delinquent sister on, so I can get the juicy details from her. I mean, so I can talk to her."
Groaning, I put her on hold and trotted up the stairs. Knocking on her door, I told Megan to pick up, the old lady wanted to talk to her. She picked up on the phone, and closed the door in my face with an evil glint in her eye. I swear, my sister could have given that chick in Bedazzled a run for her money in the evil department. I went into my room and started to pack some clothes (not like I'd be wearing them, but we've got to keep up appearances) for this weekend. Thinking about what else I'd need or want for this weekend, I decided to go for a shopping trip across the Bridge to the Peninsula for some 'supplies'. I told Megan I was going out, I'd be back in about 30 minutes or so, and left my dad a note.
I ended up getting back a little later than I wanted to, there was a bridge lift coming back from the Peninsula. One thing I love about the James River Bridge: it's 5 miles long, perfectly straight, has two rises and no shoulders. All of which add up to one thing: no cops. Staties usually sit at either side, but radar works on line of sight (I learned this from my mother, a former Sheriff's deputy), so once you got over the first rise, you could gun it. My personal record is 135 mph (217 kph), but that was a bet and I was driving this hoss of a '71 Cutlass Supreme. I had to sell that, and now I drive an '87 Toyota Corolla hatchback, it looks like a high top shoe, and is referred to by one and all as the "Covered Golf Cart." Damn thing couldn't do 80 if you threw it off a cliff. I get no respect, and neither do my cars. Oh well. For $500, you can't complain. Barring the bridge lift, everything went fine, I was able to get the toys I was looking for. Gotta love `adult bookstores'.
I was barely in the front door when I was bombarded by my sister. "Where the hell have you been? Tyler called 15 minutes ago, and I've been ready to go for a while now."
"Back off kid, I told you I was going over to Hampton. There was a bridge lift, I got stuck in traffic. Let me go say hey to the parentals and call Ty, and we'll be out of here. `K?"
"Yeah, uh-huh, sure, fine, whatever. I'll go throw my stuff in the Cart."
With an inward mental sigh, I went into the kitchen and said hey to my dad and my stepmother Ann. My older stepbrother Justin was there, as well as my stepsister Erin. Justin usually lives in Texas with his father, so seeing him was a bit of a surprise, I haven't seen him in close to a year. He's a year older than me, and goes to some school out in Dallas. Erin is Megan's age, and she was just back from visiting her father and staying with Justin at school for a week. Both of them had Texas twangs thick enough to slice, and it was all I could do not to laugh every time they opened their mouths. Unlike the stereotypical "mixed family," I got on well with my step-siblings, with one exception. Justin doesn't know I'm gay, and is a virulent homophobe. I was hoping he'd stay in Texas where he belongs, but looks like God was being an Ironist again. Why can't my life be simple?!?
"Looks like the prodigal returns. Megan told you Tyler called, right?" Dad asked, with a hint of a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah, Tyler and I are taking Megan over to Mom's in Norfolk, so she doesn't have to come through Smithfield on the way to Aunt Pam's." I could see Justin's eyes narrow a bit when I mentioned Tyler, but he didn't make anything of it.
"Well, I hope you two are careful, is all." Dad, stop it, you're treading on thin ice here!
I faked a grin and said "Yeah, all kinds of crazies on the roads these days." Making a `kill it' gesture to my dad behind Justin's back, I said "So, what are you doing back here, Justin? Haven't seen you in a while."
"School's out for the summer, so I figured I'd come back to Hampton Roads and visit for a while before I have to go work on the ranch. Surfing sucks in Texas, let me tell you. How was college? Get any pussy up there in the flesh pots of Richmond?" Just like Justin, lewd, crude and totally socially unacceptable.
"Justin Michael Sandersen, you watch your mouth!" That was from my stepmother, of course.
He mumbled something in reply, and I just shook my head in mock disgust. There was nothing mock about it, but 19 years of living as a straight guy leaves one a good actor. I'll just be glad when he's out of here and back on the other side of the country, this is too touchy of a subject to deal with now.
"I'd better call Tyler and tell him we're on the way. Mom said I could stay there for the weekend, work on my art in peace and quiet for a while. That, and she's a lot closer to the beach. Looks like y'all have the place to yourselves, kids." I winked coyly at my dad and stepmother, and went back into the living room to call my boyfriend.
After two rings, he picked up. "Hello?" God, he even has a cute voice.
"Hey, Ty, just wanted to let you know I got your message. Megan told you, didn't she?"
"Told me what?" Shit! That bitch!
"Uh, my mom wants us to bring Megan over to her house and come early. Sorry, I bitched about it as much as I could, but you know my mom. They should have called her the Iron Lady."
"Oh, joy..." He sounded as dejected as I was pissed earlier.
"It's not so bad, really, they'll be gone not long after we get there. The sooner we get there, the sooner they leave. I'll be there in 10 minutes to pick you up. Megan is over here tapping her watch at me. Gotta run, I'm on the way. Love you."
"Okay, I'll be waiting. Miss you."
"Miss you more." Funny, he never said he loved me, ever.
"One of us has to go, so it'll be me. Later, babe." With that, I hung up. I know it might seem wrong, but I have to cut him off, he just keeps going and going. "Alright, Megan, let's get out of here, huh?"
With a sigh that CJ and her flair for the dramatic would have been proud to own, she said, "Finally, I thought you'd never ask."
We said bye to the parentals and got over to Tyler's in record time. I live in the old part of town, it dates back to the mid 1700's. Ty's neighborhood is relatively new, having been built in the `60's when the Town annexed a huge chunk of farmland on the other side of the Pagan River. Most people in Smithfield lived over here, so it was where all the decent non-touristy stores and businesses are. But I digress.
Ty was waiting on the front porch with a bag at his feet. When he saw the Cart come around the corner, he bounded down the steps and to the driveway before I could pull in. When he was standing still, it was like he never knew what to do with himself, he always fidgets. But when he's in motion, my man is nothing but grace. It was a hot day, so he had on a pair of khaki cargo shorts and a tight tank top under a green short-sleeve shirt undone to the navel. I got half a stock just watching him, and Megan cleared her throat and looked pointedly at my crotch.
Muttering "bitch" under my breath, I got out to help Ty get into the car. I gave him a kiss, and said "Megan, you're sitting in the back."
"Awww, do I have to?"
"Yes, you do. Ty's too big to fit back there, and you deserve it after that crack earlier. Now get!"
Megan laughed. "Too big? Crack? Ho, boy, I'm SO not going to touch that one. At least this way I can watch you two, you're so cute together." Gods, my sister can be a handful at times.
"Whatever, just move your ass. We're late."
The trip to Norfolk was semi-interesting at best. I had the radio on my favorite rock station, 96X, to drown out any possible conversation my sister might try to start up, and Tyler seemed to be pretty grateful for that. I really think she makes him uncomfortable, and I can't figure out why. Note the sarcasm there. Ty and I kept sneaking grins at each other, and once I got up onto the West Norfolk Freeway (I have a manual transmission), we held hands. It was nice, being able to do that. Call me a romantic sap, but it's the little things that are better than the sex.
The only interesting thing to happen on the drive was when one of my favorite songs came on, and I couldn't help myself. I had to start singing. I have pretty good range, and I'm able to do Green Day pretty well. Ty joined in with me, and soon we were both singing their song "Minority" at the top of our lungs. I have no AC, so the windows were down. By this time we were off the freeway and in Portsmouth, getting ready to go through the Midtown tunnel. I think half of the residents of Port Norfolk now think we're insane, but hey, it was fun. I think I actually embarrassed my sister for once, which is an accomplishment. After the tunnel it's just another 5 or 10 minutes to Mom's apartment in Ghent. I love downtown Norfolk, it's a beautiful part of the city. Waterside Drive in particular. We pulled into her building's garage, and went inside. Mom greeted us at the door, and the living room was a sea of luggage.
"What, I don't rate a knock or a ring of the doorbell? You kids, I get NO respect at all. Kyle, Megan, good to see you again. Tyler, looking as handsome as ever. My boy doesn't know how lucky he is." She hugged me and Megan.
"Mom! Knock it off, would you? Geez." That's my mother for you. You wonder where Megan gets it from.
"Pleasure to see you again, Ms. Adams." Ever the gentleman, Ty stuck out his hand. Mom looked at it and laughed.
"You say Ms. Adams, and I start looking for my mother. No boyfriend of my son is going to call me that. You call me Karen, or I'll sic Megan on you, y'here? Now give me a hug." With that, she grabbed my startled boyfriend in a bearhug and squeezed the life out of him. Knowing my mom, she was probably trying to cop a feel. I've got good taste in men, and those shorts left nothing about his tight ass to the imagination.
"Oof! Okay then Ms. Ad.. err, Karen. Do you need any help getting the van loaded?"
"No, Kyle and Megan can handle that, why don't you come inside with me so we can talk?" Oh shit! NOT a good idea. Mom and Tyler alone, not good! Danger, Will Robinson!
Trying to sound helpful, I said "Uhm, Mom, no need for Megan to strain herself, Tyler and I can handle the bags."
Megan chimed in, her usual angelic self. "No, it's no problem, I can handle my stuff. You just get Mom's stuff loaded."
I shot her what I hoped was a withering glare, and looked pleadingly at Mom. She just grinned evilly at me and raised an eyebrow. "I believe you've got some bags to load, Kyle?"
"Oh, alright. C'mon, Megan, let's get this crap in the van so we can get you out of here."
"Kyle, be nice to your sister! Oh, and there are also some boxes of stuff in the bedroom that need to go too. Thanks, darling." With that, she dragged Tyler into the kitchen, with a bewildered look on his face.
Megan and I got the van loaded. I swear, my mother packs her entire wardrobe for a 3 day trip, it's insane. I'm a bit of a minimalist, I only brought two shirts, some underwear (my favorite A&F boxer briefs and a pair of red silk boxers that hugged my ass in all the right spots), a pair of board shorts for the beach, and some toiletries. Oh, and what I got from the shop in Hampton. When we were done, I carried my bag and Tyler's into the main guest bedroom. My mom makes decent money as an office manager with the Bank of America district office downtown, so she can afford a pretty nice place. It's an apartment, but it's got a hot tub, widescreen TV, etc, etc. All the stuff she never had when she was married to my father. At least, that's how she put it. I was somewhat worried about Ty being able to handle my mother, but I needn't have worried. Not long after we finished, I heard the two of them laughing in the kitchen.
Trying to sound put-upon, I said "I see how you two are. Soon as I leave, you all have to make cracks about me behind my back. I get no respect from you people, none!"
My mom laughed, and said "Honey, I was just telling Tyler about that time when you were down in South Carolina at your aunt's house and you ended up mooning half of Myrtle Beach with your cousin John."
Not my finest hour, for sure. John is two weeks younger than I am, and we were always getting into trouble as kids. On that particular occasion, we got into my uncle's liquor cabinet and ended up getting picked up in Myrtle Beach for indecent exposure. Apparently John knew about this tour group from some Up Country town or whatever, and got it into his head that the ladies needed a show. I was too drunk to suggest that it was a bad idea, so we ended up being bailed out of the Horry County jail by a rather irate Uncle Lewis the next morning. After serving community service down there during the summer, I was grounded by my dad until my 15th birthday. Like I said, not my finest hour, but funny in retrospect.
Tyler was able to stop laughing long enough to add "I don't see what all the fuss was about, they were some lucky tourists. I could look at Kyle's ass all day..."
Blushing, I cut in. "Okay, that's it. No nookie for you, mister! You're sleeping in the dog house tonight. Mom, you do have a dog house, right?"
Mom recovered from sputtering and said "Sorry hon, all I've got is a kitty litter box, and I don't think you'd want him sleeping there. Looks like you'll have to just manage somehow."
"Drat. Okay, I guess we'll just have to sleep in the same bed. Whatever shall I do?" I laid on my innocent act with a trowel, but Tyler would have none of it.
"I've got a few ideas..." I shut him up with a kiss, and both my mother and sister started making retching sounds.
"Oh, knock it off. Women! Don't you two have a van to catch? It's a long drive to DC, you'd better get going."
"You just want to get us gone so you can ravage Tyler on my couch. I know you, you're not my son for nothing."
Poor Ty looked like the cat that ate the canary. "Mom! Stop embarrassing me in front of my boyfriend, would you? You're terrible!"
"Sorry hon," she said to Ty, "I didn't mean anything mean by that. I look at you two, see how happy you are with each other, and see how happy you've made Kyle since May, and I just can't help myself. I like you, I really do, and I just wish my daughter finds a man half as good for her as you are for Kyle." God, she can be a bit much at times, but I love her.
"Thanks, Karen, that means a lot. And I'll try to keep him out of trouble, but you know what he can be like..." For some reason, he stopped talking and started giggling like a school girl. Must have had something to do with the fingers I was digging into his ribcage.
Finally Mom got it through her thick skull that she needed to hit the road if she wanted to get there before 11. We followed them out to the garage.
"Bye mom, I'll see you Sunday. Tell Aunt Pam, Uncle Jack, and Bobby I said hey, would you?"
"Sure thing, sweetie. You kids have fun, and remember what I said about the stains. Love you."
She gave us both a peck on the cheek, and pulled out of the garage, leaving me and my boyfriend alone again for the first time since our somewhat rough coupling earlier. I put my arm around his waist and pulled him to me.
"And now, good sir, your ass belongs to me. I seem to remember something about atoning for some sins, or somesuch?"
"Right. Let's go inside and see what that twisted little mind of yours came up with, shall we?"
"We shall." With that, we went inside and locked the doors.
---End, Chapter Two---
Just want to give a shout out to everybody who emailed me after Chapter One was posted. You all rock! Seriously, I want to thank Jared in Missouri for proofing this for me, he's a better writer than I'll ever be. Another shout out to Justin in Texas (author of the Texas Tails Series) for being there for me when I needed it, and acting as an impromptu sounding board/editor. I also want to thank Keith 'Mystery' for his invaluable advice and emails, I highly reccomend his story "The Boyfriend" over in the High School section. One thing I can't stress enough: feedback! Writers are whores for feedback (hey, I'm not the only one who likes that phrase). Support your local whore! I mean, writer! Even if you just send a line or two, it'll make their day, I guarantee it. To support this particular whore, errr, writer, email firstname.lastname@example.org. :-D
Copyright 2002, Kyle J. Oliver