This is a story of friendship, commitment, love and trust. It is not a sex story. However, this story deals with love between two male teenagers. If you are offended by stories involving love between two teenage boys, please do not read this story. There will be some sex scenes in this story; however, sex is not the main theme. If you are under age 18 or 21 or it is illegal to read this story where you live, don't read it. Reproducing this story for distribution without the owner's permission is a violation of that copyright.
I left Jason standing outside my hotel. I ran up the stairs, entered my room, closed the door, and laid face down on the bed crying.
It wasn't so much the incident it was his attitude and realizing that I was hopelessly in love with a bigot; with a guy who would never understand how I feel about him; a guy who if he knew me would hate me.
Despite all that I have gone through suicide has never really crossed my mind until now. I have never felt such anguish; I just didn't want to be. I sobbed so hard that finally exhaustion took over and I fell into a deep sleep.
I woke depressed. Normally on Saturday Sven, Ian and I would spend the day together, just goofing off, but now I knew, Jason would be there and I just didn't want to see him or be with him because I knew I would have to tell him about me and that I was in love with him. I just couldn't face total rejection.
I started to get up when someone started pounding on my door.
"Hey Kraut! Get your lazy arse out of bed! And if your wanking at least moan!" laughed Ian.
I didn't move, moan or reply. I just laid there until I heard him leave.
I spent most of the day walking around the Louvre. I kept thinking about Jason, and I would feel so lonely.
Around five I called Adrianna. We talked a long time. I told her about Jason. I think I went through every emotion there is.
"Don't shut him out of your life, Alex and don't shut out Ian and Sven. I think you should talk to Ian; he's very fond of you and I know he will help and I'm sure he would never reject you."
She of course was right, but I just couldn't bring myself to talk to Ian today, maybe later.
I managed to stay away from them the whole day. When I got back that evening the concierge told me that a young American boy had asked for me all day. The whole day all I could think about was Jason. I was on my way up to my room when I heard his voice.
"Hey, Alex! Where have you been all day?"
I turned around and looked coldly at Jason. I was an iceberg.
"Out. I had some work to do" I lied.
"Well, you should have answered your phone. I got your number from Ian; must have called you a hundred times! Anyway, I guess you forgot, I wanted to do a portrait of you."
"Oops! I'm sorry, I did forget." The iceberg had melted, I smiled. And a smile appeared on his face.
"Have you eaten yet? Cuz Ian and Sven suggested some Algerian restaurant, how 'bout it?"
"Sure, I want to go change my clothes and then I meet you guys at the Place."
"Cool!" he said with a beautiful smile, which made me smile even bigger.
I turned to go on up to my room.
"Alex," he said softly. I turned to look at him. He continued, "I'm really sorry about the way I acted last night. I thought about what you said and I even talked with Sven and Ian. And well, I'll try and change my attitude because you're right, they are people and they do have feelings and I wouldn't want to embarrass you guys in front of your friends in case they are gay."
"Thanks, Jason!" I smiled, "I be right with you."
I turned and ran up four flights of stairs. I don't know if you understand what I'm about to say, but when I'm near Jason, just in the same proximity, I can't help but feel good, well not good, great! It's like this euphoria comes over me and I just feel so happy so full of life!
I got to my room, threw myself on my bed and screamed into my pillow "I LOVE YOU JASON PHILLIPS! I love you more than anything in the world or in the universe. I love, love, love, LOVE YOU!"
I have spent the day away from him and I was miserable. And now, few seconds with him and life is great! I'll just have to resolve myself to a life of loving a Jason from afar.
to be continued...
|Any comments appreciated! Later, wf|