This is a story of friendship, commitment, love and trust. It is not a sex story. However, this story deals with love between two male teenagers. If you are offended by stories involving love between two teenage boys, please do not read this story. There will be some sex scenes in this story; however, sex is not the main theme. If you are under age 18 or 21 or it is illegal to read this story where you live, don't read it. Reproducing this story for distribution without the owner's permission is a violation of that copyright.
I didn't fall asleep until 2 or 3 am. I kept thinking about Alex. There is something about him that I really like.
Since my brother David's death I had changed from being an optimist to being a total pessimist.
That changed a few days ago when I met Alex. It's not that he does anything special. He's just so easy to get along with. Everybody likes him. I watched him today; people just start talking to him and you can see that they feel happier from having met him.
Why did I react when that homo put his hands on me? I could have just said stop when he first started. I could just have switched places with Alex or sat on the other side of him. From somewhere in my mind came the words 'when he first?' I realized it was like the third time he ran his hand up and down my rib cage before I said anything. I played the scene over and over in my mind. He wasn't an ugly old man, he was in his mid-twenties I would guess and not bad looking. When he first stroked my side it felt nice and the second time too! I recalled I was looking in the mirror and when he did it the third time I saw some guy behind us. I could have seen what was going on. I reacted out of fear! Fear of what someone else might be thinking. Fear that someone might think that I was a homo!
What if I'd been that guy? How would I have felt? Oh, God! I led him on into thinking that I was enjoying his touches and then I blowup! What a betrayal! I must have made him feel terrible and a low life! I was the low life!
Oh, Alex, I am so sorry. I am such an asshole.
What if Alex was gay, no, I'm sure he's not. He doesn't act gay. He's not a bit like those sissy guys at Jean-Jacques party. Alex is definitely not gay! But what if he was? How would I feel about him? I don't know. I know I'm not gay. But, then I really like Alex and there's been a couple of times I've looked at him and it's like...like my stomach feels funny, nervous and I get embarrassed...like when I was studying his face the other day...I don't know. Fuck it, I'm not gay! I'm not! I finally feel asleep.
I was sitting in the bistro with Alex. We're talking about baseball, which is really weird because I hate baseball. Sven comes over and asks us what we'd like to drink. Alex orders us something in German and Sven has a really funny look on his face. Alex is really beautiful and I'm just looking at him and he's looking at me. Somehow, I'm just inches from his face. His lips are so perfect! I can't seem to resist not touching him. Slowly, as if in slow motion, I bring my hand up to his cheek and gently feel his cheek my hand moves down to his lips and he gently kisses my fingertips. I feel tingly all over.
I can feel my heartrate increasing as I feel his hand sliding gently up my thigh. I follow suit along his thigh with my other hand while I'm still stroking his face. I'm as hard as a rock when his hand reaches my crotch and so is he. I can't believe this is happening! I'm so hot I know any second I'm going to cum. He leans forward our lips gently touch.
"Alex!" I whisper.
"I know, Jason, you're not gay." He smiles and kisses me again and I cum in my pants.
Someone is tapping me on the shoulder. Turn to see who it is and it's the gay guy.
"It's my turn, sweetie!" he says.
"No!" I shout. I opened my eyes and it's morning. Thank God, it was only a dream. I'm laying on my front and turn over. It was a very wet dream. I don't understand what's going on with me and I start to cry. No noise just the tears. I feel so alone and confused. I have to talk to Alex!
I got up, cleaned myself up and got dressed. I ran down the stairs and over to Alex's hotel. The concierge says he left, so up to the cafe I go.
"Well, good afternoon, old chap. So, what has our young American friend been up to?"
"Nothing. I just woke up. You haven't seen Alex, have you?"
"No. I haven't seen the Kraut, today, which is rather unusual, but he probably is at work."
My disappointment must have shown.
"So, what's up or as you Yanks say 'whasup'?" he asked with a grin.
"I pissed him off last night," I said having to hold my emotions in check. I could feel the tears building up so I quickly looked away hoping like hell Ian didn't notice. If he did, he didn't show it or say anything. "Why do you call him Kraut?"
He shrugged his shoulders, "It's sort of a thing we do. I'm the Brit, he's the Kraut, Sven's the Swede and you're the Yank."
"Bon jour, Brit!" I heard behind me, It was the Swede. There followed a period of polite French hello's and ca va's as Sven joined us and we all ordered coffee and a croissant.
"So, what did you do to pissed off the Kraut?" asked Ian.
I told them of the incident and what Alex had said before he left for his room.
"Well, he's right, you know. And you do have an attitude about gays. I saw that the other night at the party," said Sven, "You're very American! You know insulting with an air of 'I am better than you'. One of the 'queers' you insulted just happens to be a renowned art critic. I'm not saying you have to go to bed with him, but a polite 'Thank you, but no thanks' would have been better than 'Go fuck a dog fagot!'"
Ian burst out laughing, "You told Jean Pierre to go fuck a dog?" I nodded. He continued his hysterics.
"Jean Pierre, has a dog, Claude, who he's always talking about," explained Sven with a chuckle.
"So, what you're saying is that as an artist, I've just fucked myself?"
"Hopefully, not, but Alex is right. Jason, just because a person is gay doesn't make him a pariah. You need to judge people on what they do, what they accomplish in life."
"Yeah, I know. And I was wrong. I did what Alex said, I tried to look at things through that guy's eyes and I saw a low life, me. I wanted to apologize to Alex and I wanted to go back to the bar and apologize to that guy."
"Oh my God! A sensitive American! What is this world coming to?" remark Ian with a smile. "Well, mate, 'ere's 'is phone number at work, which is where I'm guessing 'e's gone!"
I went to make the call and when I got back Sven was gone.
"No luck?" asked Ian.
"How did you know?"
"It shows on your face, mate. You look like a lost puppy," he replied. I smiled and sort of shrugged my shoulders. "Well, keep trying, never know he might have stepped out for a cuppa."
"Yeah. Is Alex gay?" I asked.
"I think that's a question you have to ask him. I've never had to ask him that question, because it doesn't matter a tinker's damn if he is or he's not! He's my friend, my very best friend as is Sven." He paused obviously in thought. "You, you're not quiet there as a best friend, but you're making headway. Anyway, ole chap, when you see him, remind him dinner tonight at the Algerian restaurant and you must come too. Ever had cous-cous?"
"Never, what is it?"
"You'll find out at dinner. It's quite good!"
I spent the day checking with the concierge to see if Alex had returned and making phone calls to his work. I was beginning to get disheartened when I saw him go into his hotel. I ran down the street to his hotel and went in. He was on his way up the stairs.
For a second I couldn't speak. I don't know why, nerves I guess.
"Hey, Alex! Where have you been all day?" I asked.
He turned around and looked at me. I could see he was still pissed at me. I couldn't think of what to say, so I just blurted out, "Well, you should have answered your phone. I got your number from Ian; must have called you a hundred times! Anyway, I guess you forgot, I wanted to do a portrait of you."
He smiled. I could feel my legs shaking. I have no idea what his reply was, but I knew it was my turn to talk. I remembered dinner.
"Have you eaten yet? Cuz Ian and Sven suggested some Algerian restaurant, how 'bout it?"
He said 'yes' and turned to go upstairs.
"Alex," I said quietly. He turned around. I could hardly hold back the tears. "I'm really sorry about the way I acted last night. I thought about what you said and I even talked with Sven and Ian. And well, I'll try and change my attitude because you're right, they are people and they do have feelings and I wouldn't want to embarrass you guys in front of your friends in case they are gay."
"Thanks, Jason!" he said, "I be right with you." He ran up the stairs.
I leaned with my back to the wall and slowly slid down to a sitting position. I couldn't control my tears as they gushed forth and I cried silently partly out of relief and partly because I think that I'm falling in love with him. How can this be? I can't be gay. Can I? No, no way!
to be continued...
|Getting any better? Thanks again Chad! Any comments appreciated! Later, wf|