This
story
concerns adult and teenage gay
males who may be involved in sexual situations. If it is illegal for
you to
read such stories, or if you do not like to read such stories, please
leave
now.
This
story is
copyright 2006 by the author who retains all rights.
This
is a work
of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents
either are the product of the author's imagination or are used
fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is
entirely coincidental.
This is my
third submission to Nifty. My
previous submissions can be found in the High School section under
Kiel’s Story. Any comments or questions are
welcome at: carl_holiday@att.net.
A warm
thank you goes out to all who
write. I appreciate knowing someone is actually reading this stuff,
whether you
like it or not. I try to answer all emails, even flames. (I’m a writer,
I live
for rejection.) Although sometimes it takes a little time to get back
to
you, I do
try to answer. If I'm remiss in replying to yours, I apologize.
The Pastel Cowboy
by Carl Holiday
Chapter
13 – Fuck Me, Part 1
They were lying on
Zach’s bed
facing each other, still fully clothed. Bruce was trying to act calm
and cool,
but it was more than obvious he was so nervous he’d likely shit his
pants if
Zach touched him. Zach was biding his time, though, waiting for Bruce
to work
up the nerve to kiss him because they both knew once that started
nothing,
absolutely nothing, was going to stop the inevitable. Only, Bruce
wasn’t
certain what was inevitable and Zach wasn’t about to push the issue. He
had all
the time in the world. He’d been there and now it was Bruce’s turn.
Zach looked back at
the past
few months and tried to imagine being a virgin, again, simply
speculating on
what it meant to be gay. He wasn’t all that certain, now, after those
few weeks
with Steven and then falling in love with Jeremy, who he’d probably
never see,
ever again, no matter what Sara thought she could do to change her
grandfather’s mind. He’d been nothing more than a fancy hustler,
believing
Steven it was okay to sell your body, but, now, lying here with Bruce,
instead
of Jeremy, it had proven otherwise. Uncle David called him a whore and
he was a
filthy whore who was willing to be nearly killed just to have another
guy’s
dick spewing cum down his throat.
And, right at that
moment, he
wanted Bruce’s dick in his mouth feeling it swell and jerk as an orgasm
shuddered through Bruce’s body. He wanted Bruce’s cum splattering onto
his
tongue filling his mouth until it dribble out of the corners, just like
it did
when Jeremy sucked his dick and didn’t swallow fast enough. He loved
licking
his cum off Jeremy’s face, kissing his lover and tasting himself in
that young
mouth. He wanted Jeremy, but that was not to be.
Zach felt Bruce’s
fingers on
his face lightly touching his skin. The moment was approaching. It was
just
around the corner. Bruce’s wonderful lips would soon be pressed against
his.
Their tongues would be making love in their mouths swirling saliva
across
tender nerve endings. Bruce’s tongue was much longer than his, he’d
noticed that
in the men’s room at the bookstore, long enough to go down his throat
just where
he wanted Bruce’s dick when it erupted for the first time in another
boy’s
mouth.
His own dick would
have to
behave itself when Bruce went down on him because Bruce was going to go
down on
him. Bruce was going to taste cum today, so much cum it would dribble
out of
the corners of his mouth and Zach would lick it off his chin. They
would kiss
afterwards and Zach was going to taste his cum in Bruce’s mouth. This
was going
to be so perfect, an orgasmic explosion of hot, youthful sex.
The knock on the
bedroom door
startled both of them.
“Fuck! Now what?”
Zach said
as he sat up and saw the outline of Bruce’s very hard dick in his
khakis. Oh,
man, not now, he thought. “This better be important.”
“I can wait,” Bruce
whispered.
“Don’t
do anything with this until I get back,” Zach said, patting Bruce’s
erection.
“Stop
that or you’ll make me come right now,” Bruce said.
“I’d
like to make you come right now,” Zach said as another knock could be
heard at
the door. “This better be very, very important.”
When
he opened it, Zach saw a very disheveled Uncle David standing at the
door. It
looked like he hadn’t shaved yet or maybe in a couple days. His clothes
were
wrinkled like he’d slept in them for a week. It was a pretty good
imitation of
a street person, a mentally deranged street person knocking at doors
looking
for Emily who’d left his mind so many, many years ago.
“Yes?”
Zach asked.
“Sorry
to bother you,” Uncle David said, “but I need to talk to you. Are you
busy?”
“Well,
you know, me and Bruce haven’t seen each other in a while.”
“Or,
you’re entertaining someone.”
“Well,
not exactly entertaining. It was getting to be a bit more than that.
What do
you need? Can’t this wait?”
“No,
I need to talk right now before it’s too late. Please, can you come
with me?”
Uncle
David suddenly turned and walked away. Zach then knew he had been
messing with
his medications, again, trying to get his libido back on track, trying
to be
sexually responsive to Paul, who didn’t seem to be home at the moment.
“I’ll
be back as soon as I can,” Zach said. “Keep thinking good thoughts.”
“I’ll
think of you,” Bruce said. “You’d better go see what he wants.”
“Yeah.”
Uncle
David was gone from the hall so Zach had to look for him. He found him
out on
the balcony looking down twenty-five stories to the sweet gums along
the street
below. Zach wondered if this was a suicide attempt and if he was going
to have
to do something to stop his uncle from making a high dive into an
imaginary
swimming pool.
“You’re
my favorite nephew,” Uncle David said. “I want you to know that. I want
you to
know I’m sorry for all the things I said to you recently. You’re young
and
young people make mistakes, it’s how you learn to be adults. You’ve had
it worse
than most and I haven’t been the best person to help you as I
should’ve.”
“David,
please, get away from the railing,” Zach said. “Come over here and sit
on the
bench next to me.”
Uncle
David quickly turned and stared at Zach with cloudy eyes. He turned
back and
stared off toward the waterfront.
“When
I was your age,” Uncle David said, “the summer before I went to
Clermont, I
took a freighter across the Pacific to Japan. Vietnam was going hot and
heavy and one of
my best
friends, the boy I loved, the boy who taught me so much about loving
another
man, had gone into the Army to fight in the war. He didn’t come back.
Well, he
did, but it was a closed casket service. There wasn’t much of him in
there.
When you’re blown to bits there aren’t very many big pieces to pick up
and send
home. Personally, I think it was just his dog tags in the casket. Do
you think
they pick up the pieces if they’re too small or do they just leave them
as
carrion for the vultures or whatever eats the dead in Vietnam?”
“I
don’t know,” Zach said. “Did you come back by boat?”
“No,
I flew to Australia and met another boy, a soldier on R & R
from Vietnam. He was older than me, a second lieutenant.
He’d seen
men die. He cried when we slept together. He held me like someone might
hold a
baby. We didn’t have sex, but I think he would’ve fucked me if I
offered. On
the last morning, a few hours before he was to report for his flight
back to
the war, I woke up with him stroking my morning hard-on. He was hard,
too, but
didn’t want me to touch him. I came and he was fragged three months
later. He
was only wounded, but lost his left leg. He wrote to me. I never saw
him
again.”
Uncle
David walked over to the bench and sat down beside Zach. He stared at
the
railing.
“I’m
sorry I introduced you to Steven. I thought I was doing something good,
but
obviously it didn’t work out that way. He’s dead, did you hear?”
“No,
when?”
“A
few weeks ago. He strangled himself with a bed sheet tied to the bed
railing.”
“His
aunt said that I could see him.”
“She
lied, the bitch! They’re all bitches, every last one of them.”
“But,
god, oh god, oh, jeez, fuck!”
Tears
welled up into Zach’s eyes and he leaned his head back against the warm
stone
wall. He felt Uncle David’s arms enveloping him and he allowed himself
to be
held. He didn’t cry like a baby, almost like a baby, though.
“You were gone an
awful long
time,” Bruce said as Zach walked in and sat down on the bed. “I was
about ready
to leave, but I didn’t want to without at least saying something.
What’s wrong?
You look troubled.”
“You remember
Steven?”
“Oh, yeah, the guy
you were
seeing, the escort. Isn’t that what they call them?”
“Yeah, or hustler,
whore,
prostitute, they’re all the same. He committed suicide a couple weeks
ago.”
“Oh, man, I’m
sorry, Zach.”
Bruce enveloped
Zach in a hug
and held him close to his body, but Zach had already had his cry and
was
already beginning to put Steven behind him; or, at least, he hoped so.
Steven had
been taken out of his life and, now, wouldn’t be coming back. It was
sad that
he did what he did, but Steven had been pretty pathetic to begin with
by
practically starving himself to look thirteen years old so the old
farts would
pay the big bucks imagining they actually were fucking a barely
adolescent boy.
A guy has to be way past the limit of sanity to do that to himself on
purpose.
“You know what I
want right
now?” Zach asked.
“No, what?”
“I’d really
appreciate it if
you’d fuck me. I don’t care if you’ve never done it before. I just need
to be
fucked and fucked right now. No preliminaries, no foreplay, no sucking
dicks to
get in the mood. I need a dick up my ass and you’ve never done it, so
it’s your
lucky day.”
“I don’t know about
this,”
Bruce said breaking their embrace. He moved away and then stood up.
“I want you to fuck
me, now!”
Zach hissed and getting to his feet, too. He grabbed Bruce’s bicep and
a brief
thought flashed through his mind at the amount of muscle he was
holding, the
firmness of the flesh, the potential energy pent up in that body.
“You’ve got
to fuck me now!”
“I don’t want this,
Zach,”
Bruce said trying to wrench his arm away.
“You’re going to
fuck me now,
do you understand?” Zach said pulling at Bruce, trying to force him
back to the
bed.
“Don’t do this
Zach,” Bruce
said. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Zach wasn’t
listening to
anything, now. “Fuck me!”
“No.”
“Fuck me! Dammit!”
“No!”
Zach pulled,
harder. Bruce,
knowing what to do, had Zach face down on the floor and thought, for
only the
briefest of moments, that he was certainly in a position to satisfy
Zach’s
insane request, but the thought passed and he struggle to pacify his
friend
without hurting him, too much anyway.
“Fuck me!”
“What the hell is
going on in
here?” a voice asked behind Bruce.
“He’s gone totally
wacked,”
Bruce said as he turned and saw Paul at the door.
“Fuck me!” Zach
screamed.
“What’s going on?”
David
asked, coming into the room. “What’s wrong with Zach?”
“He’s gone crazy,”
Bruce
said. “You’ve got to do something.”
“Fuck me!”
“David, call his
psychiatrist,” Paul said. “I’ll help Bruce hold him. Hurry up, David.”
“I’m going!”
“Fuck me!”
“What set this
off?” Paul
asked as he knelt on the floor beside Bruce.
“His friend Steven
died,”
Bruce said.
“Oh, yeah, that’d
do it.
How’d he find out.”
“I guess David told
him.”
“Yeah, he’d do
that.”
Zach was mumbling
now, nearly
oblivious to the world around him. He could hear voices talking about
him, but
it was as if he wasn’t in the room. He was somewhere else, somewhere
quiet,
peaceful. Steven was there. He felt himself floating up and then
everything
went black.
Conan, wearing a
black, pearl
buttoned Western shirt, black jeans held up with a black belt fastened
with a
silver buckle with “Fuck You!” in raised letters, was standing at the
doorway,
hands on hips daring entry into the room. Jeremy stood naked in there,
his hard
dick throbbing to the beat of his heart. Steven, a sheet tied around
his neck,
his naked little boy, anorexic body shriveled from abuse, stood at his
side as
Zach tried to figure out how to get past Conan to the prize Jeremy
represented.
He stared at the tip of Jeremy’s dick and tasted the cum spewing into
his mouth
from the old fart standing in front of him, his old fart dick shoved
into
Zach’s mouth, and Steven clapping just like an excited eight year old.
His
shaved genitals flopping around, grossly imitating a pre-pubescent boy.
Zach
vomited a vile red fluid as Conan’s boot sank into his stomach.
Zach’s eyes flashed
opened
and morning light slowly focused his awareness into his bedroom. He
looked up
at the ceiling and smelled lilac. He turned his head and saw Bruce
lying beside
him.
“Good morning,
sunshine,”
Bruce said. “I was wondering when you were going to join the party.”
“I’m sorry,” Zach
whispered
diverting his eyes away from his embarrassment.
“What’s there to be
sorry
about?” Bruce asked. “You were upset. It hasn’t been that long since
you were
attacked, so you overreacted to hearing about Steven’s death. You must
have
liked him very much.”
“I thought I loved
him,” Zach
said, rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling.
“You fall in love
too easily.
I suspect you think you’re falling in love with me, too.”
“No, I just want
your dick up
my ass.”
“That isn’t going
to happen
anytime soon,” Bruce said. He sat up and dangled his legs over the edge
of the
bed.
“Have you been here
all
night?”
“No, I went home,
but thought
I’d better stop by to see if you’re better. You gave us quite a scare,
but I
guess you’ve done this before. At least Jeremy said he’s seen you go
off the
deep end a couple times.”
“Jeremy?”
“Yeah, he came with
Sara to
go to dinner and the movies.”
“But, he’s on
restriction.”
“I don’t know about
that.
You’ll have to take that up with Sara or Jeremy. Jeremy said he’d be
back today,
though. So, you’d better get up and put yourself together. Maybe you
can get
him to fuck you.”
“The problem is
getting him
not to fuck me,” Zach said. He sat up and noticed his wasn’t wearing
anything
other than his red and white checked sleeping shorts. A strange sense
of sexual
euphoria swept over him as he looked at Bruce’s bare, pale neck under
they
boy’s dark ponytail. He was instantly hard and he scooted behind Bruce.
“You’ve
used that lilac stuff, again. I want you to know it turns me on.”
He lightly pressed
his lips
against Bruce’s smooth skin and inhaled the faint, clean scent of the
boy. He
was hot and was not going to be denied. This had to happen and happen
fast.
There no time to discuss. There was hardly time to act.
Zach ran a hand
over Bruce’s
muscular shoulder and down the boy’s taut bicep before slipping across
the
chest to probe for a firming nipple.
“I have to go to
work,” Bruce
whispered.
“So, I don’t have
time to
waste,” Zach said as he slipped around the boy and down onto the floor.
His
hands went up to Bruce’s belt and zipper. Before Bruce could react,
Zach had
his pants down around his ankles and was burrowing his face into the
fly of
Bruce’s boxers.
“I don’t have time
for this,”
Bruce whispered.
Zach found what he
was
seeking and wrapped his lips around the treasure much as a little boy
might
wrap his lips around the top of a soda bottle. One hand began pumping
the rod
as the other, still partially wrapped in a cast, tried to keep out of
the way.
Meanwhile, his mouth, lips, and tongue began to massage the length of
swelling
boy flesh.
“Oh, god, Zach,
don’t do
this, I have to go to work,” Bruce whispered, but Zach continued his
ministrations and was not to be stopped or delayed.
Bruce began to lose
it as his
hands sank into Zach’s hair and his hips started to rhythmically thrust
up
towards the center of pleasure focused on the tender end of his
erection. Zach
sensed the end was near and swallowed taking Bruce deep into his throat
just as
the first explosion of ecstasy tore through Bruce’s body.
“Oh, god!” Bruce
hissed as
his hands involuntarily tried to force Zach’s head down over his
erupting cock.
His whole body shuddered as Zach smothered each detonation, accepting
Bruce’s
offering as a gift of their growing love for each other.
After a few minutes
Zach
pulled off Bruce’s softening dick leaned back on his haunches, his own
erection
obscenely bobbed to the rhythm of his racing heart. He looked up into
Bruce’s
refocusing eyes and thought of how it would be later that night with
that
wonderful dick sunk deep in his ass. He glanced down at his own
pleasure tool
and a brief remembrance of Steven crossed his mind. He took it in his
hand and
gave it a couple tugs. That was all he needed. A rope of his essence
spewed out
and splattered onto Bruce’s bare shin. Another quickly followed, before
Bruce
reacted enough to move out of the way.
“Jeez, Zach, watch
where
you’re pointing that thing. I have to wear these slacks to work.”
“Huh? Oh, sorry, I
wasn’t
thinking,” Zach breathed. He dropped back and sat on his ass, looking
up into
Bruce’s eyes. “Thanks for coming over to wake me up. We’re still on for
tonight, right?”
“I don’t know,
Zach, you were
pretty out of it last night.”
“No repeats of
that. We’ll
make love tonight and then, only then, can you sink that wonderful
appendage of
yours into me. I want to feel you inside me. Please?”
“I don’t know
Zach,” Bruce
said as he stood and pulled up his khakis. He stood there a moment
before
leaning over to press his lips against Zach’s. They kissed for a long
moment,
their tongues remaining chaste behind walls of teeth.
“You’ll sleep with
me, at
least?”
“Sure, but what
about
dinner?”
“I’ll see if the
chauffeur
can take us somewhere.”
“I’m not sure I
want to fuck
you, though.”
“No, don’t fuck me,
just put
yourself inside and make love to me. Please?”
“We’ll see. Okay?”
“Okay.”
Zach went into the
kitchen to
search for nourishment. His head still felt foggy, but that was to be
expected
after a panic attack and unknown quantities of an unknown medicine. He
wasn’t
sure what was going on. Someone would tell him, if it was important for
him to
know. Out of the refrigerator he took a carton of nonfat milk, the
pitcher of
orange juice, and put them on the kitchen table. He went back to the
refrigerator
and stared at all the possibilities. Then he realized he had no idea
what he
should eat for breakfast and he knew if he thought about it too long he
was
going to have another panic attack, which was absolutely the wrong
thing to
think about because his mind seemed to like that idea.
The twitching
started in his
left hand, the hand holding the tub of margarine, David’s margarine.
Zach and
Paul used butter. Why he had the margarine in his hand, Zach had no
idea, but the
tub fell to the floor and Zach screamed in frustration. He didn’t want
this to
happen. He wanted everything to be normal, again, but his life was
slowly
unraveling around him.
“What the hell’s
going on in
here?” David asked as he hurried into the kitchen.
Zach was frozen in
place as
muscles shuddered across his young body driven wild by crazed neurons
firing
randomly. He knew he was going to fall, but big arms caught him and
lowered his
unruly body onto the nearest chair. He looked up and saw David try to
smile.
Strangely, that smile seemed to relax him.
“Here, take this,”
David
said, handing Zach a small white pill. “It’ll help. Go on, your
psychiatrist
prescribed it. I got them last night. I’ll get you a glass of milk.”
After a couple of
minutes,
Zach felt relief flow through him as his body began to relax. Paul had
come in,
too, and was sitting across from Zach. David seemed to be making
something, but
Zach’s mind was still confused about what he was going to have for
breakfast.
It was at that moment he noticed the milk and orange juice were no
longer on
the table.
He shut his eyes.
It couldn’t
have been more than a couple seconds, but when he opened them three
pancakes,
two fried eggs, and four strips of very crisp bacon, were arranged on a
plate
in front of him. Paul wasn’t in the room.
“What’s happening
to me?”
Zach asked.
“Eat your
breakfast,” David
said. “Come on, we have to take you to see your psychiatrist this
morning. She
thinks you might need to be admitted to the hospital, again.”
“No, not that. I
can’t go to
the hospital, I have classes on Monday.”
“Then, I suggest
you start
taking control of your situation,” David said. “When you feel yourself
slipping, stop, shut your eyes, count to ten, twenty, or, if you have
to,
fifty, and then slow your breathing down. Don’t look at me, it’s on
your
instruction sheet your doctor gave you. Haven’t you been doing what
she’s told
you?”
“I guess not,” Zach
said. He
didn’t remember any instruction sheets. Controlled breathing? Counting?
What
was this?
He felt it and he
put his fork
down. He shut his eyes, but his mind wasn’t having anything to do with
him
taking control. His left hand began to twitch and he swallowed.
“Stop it!” Zach
yelled.
“Damn it! Stop!” He
yelled,
again.
His fist slammed
into the
table and a sense of calm radiated out from the pain he was feeling in
his
hand. He shut his eyes and began to slowly count, trying to match his
breathing
to the tempo of the numbers running through his mind. He could beat
this. He
had to if he and Bruce were going to make love later that night. He
focused on
an image of Bruce’s condom covered hard-on entering him.
“I heard some
yelling,” Paul
said behind Zach. “Is he all right?”
“I think he’s
trying get
control,” David said.
“Good, I’m not
really in the
mood for another mental invalid around here,” Paul said.
“What’s that
supposed to
mean?” David asked.
“You know what it
means,”
Paul said.
“If you’re not
happy with the
situation around here, you know where the door is,” David said.
“Yeah, I know where
it is,”
Paul said.
Zach heard
footsteps fading
down the hall. He opened his eyes and stared at the breakfast he wasn’t
too
certain he wanted, but he poured some warmed maple syrup on the
pancakes and
then spooned some sliced jalapenos over his eggs.
“A man after my own
heartburn,”
David said.
“Do you do this
too?” Zach
asked.
“No, I have a
special pepper
sauce for that.”
“I’ve tried that,
but most of
those have a vinegary taste that overpowers the eggs. I just want heat.”
“Try habaneros.”
“I have and nearly
burnt the
hell out of my mouth. Dad didn’t think I’d do it and he didn’t say
anything
until after the fire started. He laughed so hard and so long, I didn’t
talk to
him for a week.”
“Careful.”
“What?”
“You’re having a
good memory
of your father. I thought you hated him.”
“Oh, yeah, thanks
for
reminding me. I guess I forgot.”
He smiled at
himself and
thought of that memory of his father. He’d always been the butt of
practically
every joke in family; yet, he remembered growing up respecting the man,
even
into his teen years when most of his friends had hardly anything good
to say
about their fathers. Then it all ended and the hate began. Maybe he was
forgiving his father for his failings. Maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t
like his
father.
“So, you had a
little back
slide,” Doctor Cunningham said.
“Yeah, um, a friend
died and
I overreacted,” Zach said.
“Was he a good
friend or
someone very special?”
“In the beginning,
I wanted
him to be a good friend. You know, someone special; and, then he taught
me how
to have sex with older men and get paid for it. Seventeen years old, a
freshman
in college, and I’m learning how to be a prostitute. God! Was I a fool.
My life
could’ve been totally destroyed, but he went off the deep end and ended
up in
the nut bin. I found out yesterday he committed suicide a couple weeks
ago.
“I think I’m more
mad at
myself for letting him try to pull me down to his level. Everything
could’ve
turned out so differently if I hadn’t been so malleable in his hands. I
was so
naïve. God, I was a fool. I thought I loved him. I would’ve died
for him.
“And, now, I can
see, but my
mind seems to have a little problem with accepting the reality that I
want to
be a different person.”
“How did those
pills work,
they’re something new?”
“I guess Uncle
David gave me
two last night and I was completely out of it. This morning I almost
had a
meltdown because I couldn’t decide what to have for breakfast and he
gave me
just one. I lost track of some time, but I’m a lot better, now.”
“Well, they’re only
to be
taken in an emergency. You need to tell your friends and whoever you’re
around
to give you one if you have another episode. They’re kind of like shock
therapy. They’ll knock you out so your mind can have a little rest.”
“Well, I think they
work just
fine. So, I should have a couple with me at all times?”
“Just for the next
few weeks.
Once you’re over the trauma of your friend’s death, your regular
medicine
should be able to do what it’s supposed to.”
“Good, because I
don’t like
going to lalaland.”
“How has everything
else been
going?”
“Well, everything
is going
well. Except, for the boy I’m in love with, he’s on restriction and his
guardian doesn’t like me. But, I found someone who I met soon after
coming here
and we’re rebuilding our friendship. My uncle and his roommate slash
lover are
having a little fight over something. And, this morning at breakfast I
had a
good memory of my father. Life is just swimmingly.”
“I’d like you to
tell me
about the first person you had sex with.”
“Billy Zucker.
Zucker the
Sucker, but his nickname didn’t have anything to do with the one and
only time
we had oral sex. It’s just what we called him …”
Just before David
turned into
the parking garage at the condo, Zach saw Sara’s car parked across the
street.
He felt his body go taut as anger swelled within him. Jeremy had been
here the
night before, Sara had intended Jeremy go with them to the movie; or,
was she
simply going to leave him at the condo for a few hours while she went
and spent
some time with Darnel. Zach wasn’t certain, but he was certain Sara and
Jeremy were
up in the lobby waiting for someone to buzz them in.
As much as he
wanted to be
with Jeremy, he wasn’t about to jeopardize his future—he knew Bud was
capable
of doing anything to ruin his life—just to have a sixteen year old dick
up his
ass, as much as he wanted that very thing. Bud would say it was his
fault
Jeremy was breaking restriction and they’d never see each other until
Jeremy no
longer cared for him.
He took out his
cell phone
and watched the bars disappear as the car went ever deeper down into
the
garage. They’d get on the elevator and he wouldn’t be able to make a
call until
he was in the condo. He shut his eyes and started counting as soon as
he
noticed his left hand had started to twitch. He was going to beat this
thing
and Jeremy wasn’t going to ruin his life. He certainly didn’t want to
end up in
some dingy fruit farm with a bed sheet around his neck.
“Zach? Zach, we’re
home,”
Paul said. “Zach?”
“He must have felt
an episode
coming on,” David said. “We’ll wait for him to calm down.”
“Aw shit! When is
this going
to end,” Paul said.
“When I finally get
over
almost being murdered,” Zach said slowly with his eyes closed. “And,
probably
when I stop or even, begin grieving for Steven. I haven’t decided how I
feel
about that. Right now, at this moment, there’s a very, very good chance
a
sixteen year old boy who loves me too much and is on restriction is up
in the
lobby waiting for me. I don’t know why he’s waiting, but I suspect he’s
waiting.”
“Jeremy? I told him
last
night we had to take you to the shrink,” Paul said. “I didn’t know he
was on
restriction.”
“Well, there’s
always one who
screws up the works,” David said.
Zach opened his
eyes and saw
his left hand twitch. He didn’t want to take a pill, besides the pills
were up
in the condo. He couldn’t get mad. He couldn’t become undecided. He had
to be
calm, but with Paul and David ever so subtly fighting, he might drop
off the
deep end at any moment.
“Look, I’m not
blaming either
of you,” Zach said. “Right now, I’m doing everything I can to not have
to take
one of those little, white pills, even though that is exactly what I
probably
should do. I have to call Bud McDonald and say everything I can, short
of
offering to suck his dick, to have the slightest chance of seeing
Jeremy on a
permanent basis sometime in the near future. So, I’d appreciate you two
not
fighting when I’m around. Thank you.”
He felt better. He
looked at
his left hand and saw it twitch. He kind of wished he could feel it
doing that,
but something in his brain must be interrupting the signals. He shut
his eyes
for a moment and let a brief calm spread over him. It was so close, so
very
close, and Zach was going to do everything to stop it from ruining his
life.
After all, Bruce
was going to
sleep with him tonight and, if everything went the way he wanted, Bruce
was
going to sink that wonderful dick of his up into his ass. They’d do it
slow,
agonizingly slow. Take a half an hour, an hour, or however long Bruce
could go
without coming. He was going to look up and watch the orgasm sparkle
Bruce’s
eyes. That look, that look of overwhelming joy when every muscle in the
body is
focused on ejaculating semen deep into the ass of a good bottom boy. He
wanted
to see Bruce experience that first time. They would kiss until sleep
overwhelmed them.
“Okay, let’s go up
so I can
make a phone call,” Zach said opening his eyes and seeing only David
sitting in
the front seat. “Oh fuck! It happened again.”
“What happened?”
David asked.
“Sometimes when I
shut my
eyes at these times things have changed when I open them. I can’t hear
anything, but things change. Just like Paul leaving just now. It is
just now,
right?”
“It’s been a few
minutes, um,
well, pretty close to fifteen, twenty actually.”
“Oh, Jesus just
wanted to go
for a swim and look what happened!”
“What was that?”
“One of my, uh, my
father’s
favorite expressions. Drove Mom, or god no, don’t let it happen. Bruce
is
coming over tonight. I have to focus on Bruce coming over.”
“I got back as soon
as I
could,” Paul said as he climbed into the back seat. He offered Zach a
pill and
small bottle of water. “Here, I think you should take one. You look
like shit.
Oh, and I sent your boyfriend and his sister home. You’re right, he’s
on
restriction. He’s not supposed to leave the house and Sara’s been
sneaking him
out. Here take this.”
“I have to call
Bud,” Zach
said as he felt his muscles start to tighten. His hand was twitching so
much
Paul had to put the pill in his mouth and hold the bottle so he could
sip enough
water to swallow the pill.
“I’ll call Bud,”
David said.
“We haven’t talked in a while, but I think I can straighten him out.”
“Don’t make him
more mad at
me,” Zach said with his eyes closed. He felt someone pull him toward
the door
and he tried to relax enough to go with the flow of events.
He knew they were
walking,
but Zach seemed to be floating along, allowing whatever was happening
to him to
happen without his interference. He kept his eyes tightly closed. He
suspected
Paul could easily pick him up and carry him like a newly married
husband
carried his bride across the threshold, and that thought made him
giggle, which
strangely felt very refreshing.
He was tempted to
open his
eyes, but he knew things would look a lot different, time would have
passed,
and he’d be confused for a moment, allowing his mind to its best to
destroy his
life. He had to focus on what Bruce was going to give him. Yeah, Bruce,
he had
to think of Bruce.
____________
Author’s Note: When
I started
on this chapter I had everything coming to a conclusion in twenty
pages.
Obviously, that didn’t happen and this chapter will be continued,
hopefully in
a few days. I seem to be over my block and the words are flowing.
Actually, it’s more like rushing out of my mind as if the dam has
burst. The
one that has changed is that I’m able to visit the characters and the
story in
my mind during the day. I wasn’t able to do that during the block. The
story
left me and I couldn’t get it back. Hopefully, the words will continue
for
awhile, or at least until I get to THE END of this story, which isn't
all that far away.