concerns adult and teenage gay
males who may be involved in sexual situations. If it is illegal for
read such stories, or if you do not like to read such stories, please
copyright 2006 by the author who retains all rights.
is a work
of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents
either are the product of the author's imagination or are used
fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is
This is my
third submission to Nifty. My
previous submissions can be found in the High School section under
Kiel’s Story. Any comments or questions are
welcome at: email@example.com.
thank you goes out to all who
write. I appreciate knowing someone is actually reading this stuff,
like it or not. I try to answer all emails, even flames. (I’m a writer,
for rejection.) Although sometimes it takes a little time to get back
you, I do
try to answer. If I'm remiss in replying to yours, I apologize.
The Pastel Cowboy
When Zach came back
cafeteria Sunday morning with a growing bubble of gas in his stomach,
Nopaco’s definition of edible food was not the same as his. He was
to have to find a new place to eat, or start buying groceries and eat
his room. When he came to the little rhododendron grove outside Boyle
knew he wasn’t going to make it up to his room. He stepped inside the
glade and immediately noticed quite a few lumpy puddles of puke, the
which was more than enough to entice whatever it was that his stomach
like to make a hasty retreat. He thought it was nice the college
planted the big,
leafy rhododendrons just so students could vomit the college’s vile
by Carl Holiday
2 – Does This Mean I’m Gay?
Back in his room,
rinsing out the disgusting taste of partially digested greasy bacon and
whatever the watery yellow stuff that was supposed to be eggs from his
Zach fired up the laptop and headed for Google. He typed in “gay teen
and clicked the first offering. There was a lot of information, but not
about what he wanted to know. After spending a couple hours bouncing
links, he finally decided being gay was just another facet of his
a major facet, one that a lot of people would start to notice. He’d
to learn to live with it, but he still wanted to know why Bruce had to
and why Steven had to be a little kid. He knew, though, that the true
were going to have to come from Bruce and Steven. It seemed to be their
to be those strange characters.
Then he looked at
Paul gave him and typed in, www.nifty.org. He headed for the High
section first and opened the first story. After counting ten
the first three sentences, he closed that one and opened the next
hours later, while listening to an old Asleep at the Wheel CD, his cell
rang. His cock was hard and demanding attention, again, but his phone
ringing. Choices! Then, again, it might be Steven.
“Is this Zachary
Zach heard a tinge of Texas in the voice and hoped to god it was the
“This is Steven
David Brandon, who I believe is your uncle, hired me to show you around
Do you have any wheels?”
“I suppose it would
for you to come and pick me up, than for me to come to you. Do you know
Seattle at all?”
“Never been here
I ask you a question?”
“Sure, kiddo, what?”
afternoon while I
was waiting for my uncle’s boyfriend to pick me up, I met a guy named
out front of Boyle Hall.”
With the . . .”
“Big dick, yeah.”
“Can I ask you
“Sure, kiddo, what
want to know?”
“Is there something
physically wrong with you or are you forcing yourself to look thirteen?”
“Wow! You certainly
subtle, are you?”
“I just don’t
“This queer shit. I
I was back home it was easy. I was the only one and everyone hated me.
here it’s so confusing. First it’s René, then you, then Paul,
then Uncle David,
and then in the restaurant last night I go into the john and some
haired pervert shows me his cock and asks me if I’d like to suck it.”
“Sounds like you
need a lot
more than a tour of the city.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t
be like this, but I’m so fuckin’ confused. I mean last summer after the
hit the fan and . . .” And, Zach told Steven all about being
Less than an hour
left the interstate at Boylston and headed down the hill toward the
following Steven’s directions. Steven was waiting for him at the garage
entrance and directed him to an empty stall.
“It’s supposed to
but I don’t drive,” Steven said. He was wearing red and green plaid
bottoms and a George Straight t-shirt that was too big for his tiny
never learned how.”
“Hi,” Zach said. He
nervous. Steven asked him to come down to his apartment so they could
was scared to death something more was going to happen, not that he
deep down, want that to occur. He was just scared he’d fuck it up
“Ohmigod! The great
quarterback cowboy is scared of little ol’ Steven? Come on kiddo, let’s
Zach just about
pants. Fun? What did Steven have in mind for fun? But, he followed the
boy butt through the parking garage to the elevator.
“You know I was
Steven said as the numbers above the elevator flashed their way down to
garage level. “David was rather insistent I was only supposed to escort
around town. I think he said something like show you the highlights and
dig deeper if you wanted. Now, I know he knows my policy on extras. If
don’t pay, you don’t get. Now, I’ll do extra if I’m expecting a big
tip, but I
usually don’t lay on the best stuff until I kind of get an idea what
of remuneration is.”
“What are you
“Sex, my dear
“Oh, don’t worry,
it’s all so
easy once you get the hang of it. We’ll go slow. After all, David is
a month’s worth of services. A whole month. Can you imagine how much
“No, I don’t have
what you charge.”
The elevator door
a young woman with a tiny waist and oversized breasts got off.
“Oh, hi, Steven,
“Hi, Charlene, no
“He’s kind of cute.
have a name? Does it talk?”
“You’re from the
“See you ’round
and Zach? Make sure he uses a condom. You don’t want to know where that
of his has been.”
Charlene! Come on,
Zach, don’t worry about her.”
Zach knew about
were not condoned by his church. They prevented babies. They encouraged
illicit, pleasurable sex, when sex was given by God for procreation,
enjoyment. They weren’t even mentioned in all his health ed classes at
The school board made sure of that. Condoms were not worn by true
Then this morning
a lot more about condoms, a lot more. He learned they had another
more important purpose. Yeah, Steven was definitely going to use a
so was he, if it came to that.
They got off on the
floor and walked down a dimly lit carpeted hallway. At Apartment C
Steven put a
key in both deadbolts and a key in the doorknob. The door opened to a
living room with a futon, a low table, a small television on a smaller
table, and a view across the Ship Canal toward houses. On the distant
tall mountains, a few of which still had snow on them, stood against
sky. What stuck Zach the most was the lack of carpeting. The floor was
tile. The whole apartment was tiled.
“Do you want
drink first, or do you want to just start fucking?”
Zach’s face dropped.
“Just kidding. Come
cool down a bit. Come here, let’s sit down for a bit. Come on, sit on
futon. Coke or water? Don’t have anything else.”
Steven walked over
refrigerator and opened it. “Oops! Sorry, no Coke. Guess I’d better get
market. The pantry’s bare.”
Zach looked around
apartment. There wasn’t any other furniture. An open door led to the
Two others were closed. There was a painting, though, on the wall above
fireplace. Two young men were having sex. Well, it appeared they were
some sort of sexual activity, but there weren’t any dicks. Zach knew
were there and were being used, but he had no idea what they were being
“Like the painting?”
“Paul did it. He
gave it to
me. He said I’d probably get five thousand for it, more if he died. I
that, though. He has a fairly restricted niche.”
“Paul paints that
“Yeah, he’s good,
I wish I could be half as good.”
Zach didn’t say
knew now was not the time to say what Paul told him about Steven’s
“No, we’re not
going to fuck.
That doesn’t come until lesson four, or was it five? It doesn’t matter
if you don’t want me to fuck you, we don’t have to. But, I’ll tell you
now, if you want to fuck me, I’ll slip a condom over that big dick of
slip my ass right down on top of you.”
Zach look at
“Come on, Zach,
Ohmigod! You’re crying. Fuck!”
Steven snuggled up
Zach and put a hand on the cowboy’s tight abdomen and gently rubbed his
across the rippled muscles. “Come on, Zach, it’s okay. I’m just
excited, really. Do you know how much any one of my clients would pay
here right now where I am? Thousands! You’re a virgin!”
mostly virgin. You seem a little naïve to know about chicken.”
“I was reading an
story when you called,” Zach said, thinking about the high school kid
life was the total shits until he was discovered by a more popular
certainly didn’t apply to his life. He was the most popular student and
didn’t help him one bit.
“How many times did
“Three, if you
probably another one was on the way.”
“Then you’re gay.”
“Well, at least
when I read
the stories I get hard.” Zach wondered if that’s all it meant to be
getting hard when your mind was filled with gay thoughts. Hell, he got
looking at a horse’s ass, but then he was a cowboy and appreciated good
flesh. Maybe he was just young.
“You’re hard now.”
“Yeah, you, too.”
admitted it. Being close to Steven made him hard. Having Steven touch
way was doing right then was making him hard.
“Thanks. You know,
muscles in all the right places.”
“Just relax, this
to hurt a bit.”
Steven got up on
and then straddled Zach, sitting down, pressing his small ass into
crotch. His face sank slowly toward Zach, as his hands and fingers
cowboy’s chest, arms, neck, face, and head, placing his lips against
Zach opened his mouth slightly and felt Steven’s tongue tentatively
inner edges of his lips.
Zach’s own hands,
his sides gradually reached out to where his fingers could lightly
Steven’s legs. They were so skinny he could almost grasp a thigh in one
Steven’s tongue was inviting his to join it back in its home. He
invitation and felt Steven’s bony ass press against his cock.
He couldn’t help
feelings were so intense. He grabbed the tiny hips on top of him and
the skinny body against his cock. He shuddered as the orgasm took over,
flooding his pants with come. He kept going and going. It was like he
stop shooting. He ran his hands up Steven’s back and pulled the smaller
into his, then broke their kiss.
“Ohmigod! You came!
be a hundred bucks, kiddo. No, just kidding. Uncle David is paying for
Wait right there, I’ll get something to clean you up.”
butt scamper into the bathroom. The sound of running water did little
comfort him. He knew Steven was going pull his pants down and touch him
there. This was getting out of hand, but he didn’t know what he could
stop it, or if he even wanted to stop it. He was so overwhelmed.
Zach stared at the
while Steven removed his jeans and underwear. Tears were uncontrollably
dribbling down his cheeks as the warm washcloth rubbed against his
never imagined it would be like this. All the times he’d made out with
before he’d been branded as gay, he’d never come; and, she’d done
Steven had. She’d sat on his hard cock many times, but he’d never come,
He was queer, no doubt about it.
tightee-whitees need to
be washed,” Steven said as he walked away with them.
In a moment he was
naked. Zach looked at Steven’s skinny body then removed his own shirt
helped Steven lower the futon. He didn’t know what he was supposed to
“Come on cowboy,
beside little Steven and I’ll cover us with the blanket. Are you still
“I can’t help it. I
know what to do.”
“You don’t have to
anything. I’m the one who’s been hired to do things. Come on Zachy, lie
“Don’t call me
Zachy. If you
want to get cute, use my middle name, David.”
“Davey, I like
“You’re a good
“Here let me have
Put it right there.”
Zach felt Steven’s
He’d never touch another boy down there. His fingers seemed to have a
their own as they began to explore the soft, hairless skin in Steven’s
There was only a small powder puff of hair above his dick. Zach’s
to play with the foreskin, like he often did with his own. He felt the
“You certainly know
make a guy feel good,” Steven whispered as one of his fingers began to
with Zach’s right nipple, stiffening it quickly.
Zach felt himself
hard again when another of Steven’s fingers joined its companion at
erect nipple. He couldn’t believe what he was feeling. It was almost
was a nerve connection between the nipple and his dick. He looked into
soft blue eyes.
“Didn’t know about
you?” Steven whispered.
“Most guys don’t.
and I’ll suck it.”
Zach placed his
hand on the
back of Steven’s head as the other’s lips and tongue began to excite
the same time, relax him. He wondered if this was what a mother felt
baby suckled at her breast.
“Hey, kiddo, you
asleep,” Steven said, nudging Zach back to reality.
“Huh, oh, sorry,”
mumbled. He thought of the dream he’d been having. A little dream,
mostly, except for the dick in his mouth. It was Steven’s dick.
“Want to go to the
“The zoo, come on
dressed. Your tightee-whitees should be dry by now.”
Zach sat up and
Steven’s soft cock nestling under that small puff of golden hair. He
if he’d ever be able to put that thing in his mouth, but it really
putting in the mouth that troubled him, it was the surprise at the end.
Swallowing come would definitely make him gay. Could he do it?
“Come on, Davey,
let’s go to
the zoo,” Steven said, rolling away from Zach and getting to his feet.
“Did you come,
asked. He got to his feet and walked over to the dryer. He came up
Steven and pulled the small body into a hug. “Did you?”
me, I’m the one being paid in this deal,” Steven said, pulling out of
embrace. “Here put these on. You know we should go to the store and get
some boxers and boxer briefs. You need them if you’re going to wear
jeans all the time.”
“No panty lines,”
said, patting Zach’s right cheek a couple times before resting his hand
taut muscle allowing his fingers to sink into the divide.
“That’s bad?” Zach
away from Steven’s hand because it was making him stiffen a little. It
imagine lying under Steven being fucked, one more step on defining him
definitely gay. Yeah, taking it up the ass would be a definite sign he
ass is an exciting ass,” Steven said, grabbing Zach’s ass. “It invites
“Do I want
“You’re the one who
advertising the dick yesterday.”
“Okay, you win,”
He reached out and took hold of Steven’s half-hard cock. Steven slapped
hand away. “I’ll get rid of the Jacques C’penés.”
probably go there.”
“Or, Sears?” Zach
taking hold of Steven’s shoulders and pulling the small body against
nuzzled Steven’s neck, smelling the scent of his body.
“No, not Sears, not
Nordstroms either, they’re too straight for me,” Steven said, reaching
Zach to caress those two muscular melons. Then, suddenly, pushing the
from him. “You know, you’re distracting. Macys is good.”
“I wouldn’t know.
We only had
Jacques and Sears in Hannaford. You had to go miles to get anything
you don’t need fancy clothes to fall in cow shit. Should I go commando?”
“With that thing of
“Then why get
their boys in boxers.”
“What are you
“How we can make a
“With me having sex
clients? I’m still practically a virgin.”
“Oh, quit worrying,
and you’re still a virgin. Now, put these on and get dressed. We’re
Zach was surprised
at the way
Steven practically bubbled with excitement at nearly every exhibit. He
also, surprised how much it cost to get in, plus having to pay for
he had a good time, too. Mostly, though, he kept getting these strange
feelings every time Steven got close to him, or called him “Davey.”
It was quite a
the whole zoo and Zach wasn’t too certain they’d seen all the exhibits.
be standing someplace and he’d look not recognizing half the other
The paths seemed to meander almost senselessly across the grounds. He
the farm animals, though. Steven kidded him when he put out his hand
scratched the cow’s nose.
“You’ll make her
that,” Steven said.
“No I won’t,” Zach
“This makes them pee.”
got that contented look as a stream of piss exited the back end.
“See, I know my
said patting the cows head.
“And, you sent them
slaughter, too,” Steven said, disgust dripping from his voice.
“Not the cows, we
They made the babies. It was the babies who didn’t have a chance. They
ones headed for the supermarket.”
stopped at a
restaurant down on the Ship Canal that looked interesting. From their
the window, which Zach got by having to give the maitre d’ a fifty, he
see Steven’s apartment building. He thought of what had happened a few
earlier and smiled when he remember how he felt with Steven sucking on
“What are you
Steven asked as he looked at the menu.
“Oh, is that good?”
“Yeah, I suppose
You took me to the zoo. You did exactly what Uncle David hired you for.”
“Would either of
gentlemen care for a cocktail?” The bar waitress asked. She was dressed
of those skimpy, tight black dresses that emphasized her little breasts
hips that were built for baby making.
“I’ll have soda
some lime,” Steven said.
“Coke,” Zach said.
“We have Pepsi.”
“I guess I’ll have
with lime, too,” Zach said.
“Didn’t want to try
harder?” Steven asked.
“She’d have carded
said. “She looks the type.”
They ordered their
settled down to relaxing after their vigorous walk through the zoo.
still trying to get used to being in a big city with houses everywhere
looked, plus tall buildings, yachts passing in the Ship Canal, and
people everywhere. This was not Carruthers where you could go into town
days and not see more than ten people. Wherever he looked there was
new and different. It was almost overwhelming, almost as overwhelming
with the young man sitting across from him.
meal, Steven excused himself and went into the restroom. Zach watched
and kept his eyes directed to where Steven left the dining room. When
sight of his friend returning, he thought he figured something out
Steven. It troubled him to think such thoughts about someone, but he
had to confront Steven if they were going to become friends and Zach
that moment, very interested in becoming a very good friend of Steven.
When they arrived
Steven’s apartment building, Zach drove around back and entered the
garage. After turning off the engine, he turned to Steven, who looked
he been caught stealing candy at the corner market.
“Are you bulimic or
Steven turned his
stared out the windshield.
“There was a girl
who used to
live in Carruthers who was skinny, skinny like you,” Zach said. “She’d
herself like you did at dinner. Then she’d go to the restroom and force
to vomit. She died a little before Easter a couple years ago. Her
thought God was testing her and didn’t do anything to help her. I think
starving yourself to look young. I don’t expect any answers, now. I
to let you know I know what you’re doing to yourself and if we become
friends, which I’d like very much, I will do everything I can to keep
As Steven continued
out the window; after a few minutes, he sighed, then said, “A few years
came up here from Texas, my Aunt Jennie suspected the same thing and
to a psychiatric hospital that deals with eating disorders. I was in
months and when I came out I was a lot better. Everyone in my family is
statured. We’re not little people, just short and naturally slender. It
for a number of years. I didn’t have to do anything to keep looking
Around when I hit twenty, I noticed my body changing, so I went on a
guess things have gotten out of hand, again. Only, I need the money.”
“I’ll do whatever I
help you,” Zach said. He immediately thought of the recently diminished
thousand he had in the bank, but wasn’t too certain he was willing to
his money, either. He had four years of college to get through and his
cows were now back in his father’s herd. He couldn’t think of any way
increase his pot of gold without going to work. Maybe selling himself
that bad an idea. It’s not like he had to do it forever.
appreciate this. I
“Good, now, let’s
so I can suck your dick,” Zach said, opening his door and getting out.
around to the other side and opened the door. “You don’t look too
getting a blowjob.”
“What’s happened to
Steven asked, getting out of the pickup and standing up. “This morning
so nervous you were crying. And, now, you’re practically pulling me up
apartment so you can suck my dick.”
“This morning when
asleep, I dreamt of sucking you,” Zach said, walking ahead of Steven,
stopping to wait for him to catch up. “I don’t want to let it go by.
the chance to do it and I want to do it tonight. Okay?”
“Do it here.”
“No, I want you
naked. I want
to touch your body. Come on, let’s go before I chicken out.”
“You’re going to
swallow my come, you know. You won’t be a real gay boy unless you
Does my Davey want some come?”
now I want you to come in my mouth. Right now, but if you don’t hurry I
talk myself out of it, so come on.”
The next morning
alarm went off Zach’s mind immediately went back to the moment when
filled his mouth with his seed. He’d been expecting something vile,
but it wasn’t. It wasn’t great. It wasn’t candy. It was simply Steven,
everything he expected from the young man with whom he was falling in
lovers swallowed come and he’d done it. He was definitely gay, now.
congratulated Zach by
giving him half a shot of brandy, which certainly knocked out the taste
mouth. What Zach noticed, though, was the bottle. It had never been
it was dusty like it had been on Steven’s shelf for years. That was
Steven wasn’t into drinking.
He had classes to
this morning. Zach sat up and felt the crusty remains of a wet dream in
pair of boxers he’d worn to bed. He couldn’t remember the dream. He ran
mind back, but there wasn’t anything. He always remembered them; except
time. Was it because he’d swallowed? Was it because he was, now, truly
it because he was falling for Steven? Did lovers stop remembering wet
Whatever the reason, he needed a shower, food, clean shitkickers, and a
the jeans Uncle David bought him, no advertising today.
Zach’s first class
calculus. There were thirty students packed into a room designed for
twenty-five. The instructor handed out a ten question exam. She checked
answers as each student handed in their test. She looked at Zach, who
second, and said, “Return to your seat. You get to stay.” He’d gotten
answers right. A lot of the kids didn’t. They got the chance to go back
Registrar and pick a different class for the eight to ten
o’clock class period.
Zach’s next class
101, Freshman Composition, which he definitely was looking forward to
out of the way early. The instructor had been listed as Richard C.
Professor Emeritus, BA MA PhD DDiv DLit. Zach expected an old man, but
sitting behind the desk when he walked in couldn’t have been much over
if that. He was old, yet didn’t look too much older than Uncle David
wasn’t far past fifty. He had a short, maybe a half inch, crew cut of
hair, watery brown eyes, a Roman nose, sharp pointed chin, and a
smile. He watched every student as they came in and sat down.
gentlemen, I am Doctor Jeffers. This is Freshman English. If you’re not
supposed to be in Freshman English, I suggest you leave now as the
letting will begin shortly.”
Ah, humor, thought
Maybe this wasn’t going to be too bad.
“I have one rule
class. Each and every one of you will respect me and the rest of the
respect, no grade. If at any time it becomes apparent any one of you
you do not wish to follow that rule, you will be asked to leave and I
notify the authorities you are persona non grata in this
will be graded accordingly. Any questions?”
“Does that mean we
question what you say?” asked a slender, small breasted, blonde, fresh
girl sitting in the second row, three seats from the left.
“Ah, yes, Sara
to see you, Sara.”
“Do I know you?”
“I know your
play golf together.”
Doctor Jeffers then
to explain the required texts and went over the schedule of the class.
were stuffing eighteen weeks of class into a little over eight. There
be a mid-term, but there would be a paper every week and the first one
“Fifteen hundred to
thousand words, no more, no less,” Doctor Jeffers said as he walked
room. He kept moving, never standing in one spot for more than a minute
“The subject is the most significant event in your life to date. For
you, it might be your moment of conception. Don’t laugh, it’s been done
few received “A’s.” For others, it may be something more recent.”
Zach thought, yeah,
year, a couple weeks from now, to be exact. He was already planning the
from the introduction to the conclusion, and brief epilogue. He’d just
trip down the Buffalo because that was the determining event. He’d
examine the reasons, but that was easy, too.
“Now, since there
twelve of us,” Doctor Jeffers continued, “I’d like to get to know a
about each of you. I don’t want name, rank, and serial number. I do
want name, age,
home town, why you chose Nopaco, yes I use the vile acronym, too, and
little more, whatever you decide. I think we’ll begin with this
Zach felt the hand
shoulder, the gentle squeeze, the fleeting caress. God, he knows,
They all know. Is there any end to this?
“Sir? Were you
“Yes, sir, my name
David Alexander, Zach for short.”
“And, he’s from the
Sara exclaimed in a horrible imitation of a Southern accent.
“Sara? Were you
“Why yes, sir, I
said, continuing to use the accent.
“You think you’re
because your grandfather is a trustee of this fine institution, but
wrong about that, too. We’ve already discussed your presence in my
call and you’re out of here. One more disparaging remark about, uh,
you’re out of here. Questions?”
“No, sir,” she
“Yeah, like I said,
friends call me Zach. I’m from a small town in Eastern Oklahoma you
haven’t heard of, and you haven’t been
in their right mind intentionally goes to Carruthers, Oklahoma. I’m
seventeen, be eighteen in October. I
chose North Park because it has a summer entry program for
freshman. And, yes, I know
how to castrate calves, where to shoot a horse if it has to be put
I’ve eaten prairie oysters.”
“And, you’re gay,
said, resuming her disgusting Southern accent. “We know all about you,
“That’s it, Sara,
your stuff and leave this room,” Doctor Jeffers said.
“I don’t have to,”
she didn’t have to use the accent on him.
“We thought you’d
he said, taking out his cell phone and pressing a few keys.
“Hello, Bud? . . .
is Dick. . . . Yeah, she did it. . . .
Sure, no problem. Here, Sara,
grandfather wants to talk to you.”
She took the phone
out into the hall.
“Zach, I want to
for what just happened,” Doctor Jeffers said. “It seems your parents
this school, a few its trustees, and some others of your status in
church, or, rather, not in their church. An abomination? That’s quite
accomplishment for such a young man. I congratulate you.”
“You don’t have to
for her behavior,” Zach said. “She isn’t any worse than that town full
bastards I never have to see again. I’ve heard worse. Actually, she’s
Reminds me what I’d think of if somebody told me she was daddy’s little
Sara walked back
been crying. She handed the phone to Doctor Jeffers and said, “I want
apologize to everyone in this class for my inappropriate behavior. I
right to say what I did. Zach? I’m sorry for outing you.”
she picked up her things.
“Doctor Jeffers, if
the same to you, I’d appreciate it if you’d let her stay,” Zach said.
her apology. It doesn’t matter to me if everyone knows I’m gay. Yes,
gay. The town was right in their assumption. Of course, they didn’t
Bible when they expelled me from their presence, but they’ll have to
a higher authority for their error.”
“Thank you,” Sara
“Okay, then, I
She stared at him
as if he
was Death himself, then said. “I’m Sara McDonald. Yeah, I’m spoiled,
little. . . .”
Zach sat in his
listening to Sara and the others as they went through their spiels
anything had changed by his public admission of being gay. He knew it
was a big
step, at least that’s what he read in a lot of the online stories. He’d
practically a whole year being gay without actually acknowledging it to
himself, but a whole town knew, even if they might have had questions
truth. He was falling in love with a guy, which was certainly reason
think of yourself as being gay.
After class, and
apology from Sara, Zach walked over to the Union
to get a hamburger, or what he hoped would be hamburger. He imagined
of texturized vegetable proteins flavored with all sorts of chemicals
it the correct taste of ground up dead beef and almost decided to get a
Most of the tables
either full or almost, except for one back in an empty corner. There
one guy sitting there.
“Mind if I join
asked, looking at the guy and suddenly feeling he’d seen him some place
“No, go ahead sit
said. “How’s your first day at classes?”
“Oh, my god, so that’s what you look like under the disguise.”
Only what did Bruce
like? On closer examination, Zach wasn’t too certain whether he was
a boy or a girl.
runs in the family. You’d have to look at what’s between my legs to
sure. So, how is your first day?”
“I was outed in
“So, it’s true.”
“You know about the
the letter. Besides me, you’re probably the only definite gay student
Welcome to hell.”
Remember when you
realized you were gay? Remember how you felt? Did you try to think
were wrong and it would go away when you turned twenty-one or when you
married and started making babies?
It doesn’t go away,
how hard you try. You learn to live with it, or it will destroy you.
I know. The day I came out to myself was the best day of my life. I
have been happier. The shit hit the fan afterwards, but I was happy and
all that mattered.