This story is adult fiction containing explicit homosexual sex. If you are a minor or are likely to be offended, please read no further. If you are reading further, please consider a donation to nifty.org to help keep this service free and available to all.

Reminder: My stories are always total fiction. Yet some real events and some real places may be used to add reality.

Comments and criticisms are encouraged. This story deals with how an evangelical minister deals with his homosexuality. It is quite different from other tales I have written for nifty.org. I'd especially like to have your reaction. I will answer all your emails. Please write me at macoutmann@yahoo.com.

PASTOR JOE

by Macout Mann

XIX

Joe's dismay at Ron's leaving the Baptist Faith soon faded. They returned to being fast friends in every sense of the word. They just didn't talk about religion any more.

Joe remained the popular Youth Pastor at Westside. His life became quite routine. Participation in youth activities continued to grow, and his abilities as a counsellor were more and more respected. He was still surprised, when Rodger Thomas made an appointment to see him. His responsibilities were generally thought to end when kids graduated from high school. College students were thought of as adults.

Rodger was a sophomore somewhere. He hadn't been particularly active in church activities when in high school. So Joe was at a loss to know what his visitor wanted. To say he was astounded when he found out would be putting it mildly.

"You know, Pastor Joe, you're hot as hell," Rodger began.

"Oh?" Joe said, quickly losing but regaining his composure. "And what do you mean by that?"

"I think you know as well as I do," Rodger responded. "I've been talking to a couple of the gay guys that have been to see you. They say you think being gay is o.k. So I think you may be a little gay too. Most of the gals in the church are hot for you, but you are still single.

"Anyway, I've had a crush on you ever since you first came; but until I went off to school, I never could satisfy my needs. But I learned how, and now I want your dick more than ever."

To emphasize his point he vigorously clawed his crotch.

"You know, Rodger," Joe responded in measured tones, "we don't know why some of us are born straight and some of us are born gay, but we do know that we are all children of God; and that's why I say that being gay is o.k. But gays, like straights, need to have a moral compass. We don't encourage straight guys to go out and have sex with every chick they can hook up with. The same goes for gays and guys.

"But I am your pastor! Even if I were inclined to get with you, to do so would be a violation of everything we stand for. It would be like if you hooked up with one of your professors."

"Been there, done that," Rodger smirked.

"And I don't care that you're a pastor. The only reason I go to church anyway is so my folks won't kick me out. Church is a crock of shit."

"I'm really sorry you feel that way," Joe said. "Maybe in time you'll change your mind.

"Sure, a lot of stuff in the Bible doesn't seem to apply to people like us. After all, it was written for people who thought the world was flat, who didn't know a thing about germs or sanitation. But you've got to admit that the Kosher dietary rules were super practical in cutting down on diseases back when.

"The main thing, though, is that the precepts that the Bible reveals are timeless. And that Christ is the Savior of the World.

"But for now, I don't think there is anything I can say. If you do ever want to talk more about `the church being a crock,' though, I'm here. Right now I don't think we have anything further to say to each other."

"So you won't admit that you're gay?" Rodger countered. "Hell, you show up in the gym in Levis with a package that a horse would be proud of."

"I won't admit to being anything," Joe answered. "Guys come to see me who are worried about being gay. So suppose I say, `Well I'm straight and you're not, but I can help you poor slobs?' How would that make them feel? Or I say, `I'm gay and you need to behave just like I do.' Are they going to be receptive to anything else I say. No, as far as you are concerned, I'm asexual."

"I still want to suck your dick."

That night, visiting with both Ron and Bill, Joe was still upset.

"I'd have told him I was ready to shag his arse," Bill teased.

"I'll bet you would," Joe replied. "You've got the same morals he seems to.

"I'm sorry I had to lie to him about being gay, though."

"From what you've told us, you didn't lie," Ron interjected. "You just didn't answer his question."

"I wish you could talk to him," Joe told Ron.

"I couldn't do any more than you did," Ron said. "Sounds like he's got an addiction to dick."

"That I can relate to," Bill said. "Who wants to be first to let me have his spunk?

"Come on, Joe. You can pretend that I'm--what was his name, Rodger?"

The following afternoon, Joe had an appointment with Carson Jennings. Carson was gay, from a prominent Belle Meade family, and one of the most difficult cases that Joe had faced. Carson attended Montgomery Bell Academy, Nashville's oldest and most prestigious prep school. He was an excellent student and a star member of the tennis team. But it was an all-boys school, so its culture was hypermasculine. Gays were to be scorned, and despite his athletic accomplishments, Carson bordered on being effete. He was also very sensitive.

Hans Krieger was a year ahead of Carson. He was a wrestler with a domineering personality. He was not well liked, but guys didn't mess with him. Detecting a trace of gayness in Carson's demeanor, he had enticed Carson to suck his dick.

Now Carson had messed around with one of his neighbors and loved the experience. But with Hans, although it was consensual, Carson felt as though he was being raped.

"Yeah, suck that motherfucker, you slimy little faggot," Hans had chanted.

That encounter had led Carson to seek the advice of Pastor Joe.

"I'm so ashamed," he confessed. "I knew it was wrong, but it was so exciting, when my friend, Jess, and I fooled around. But Hans has made me realize how nasty it is."

Joe had explained that Carson couldn't control his orientation. He had suggested that he just avoid Hans. And he explored the possibility that he come out, first to his parents.

"Oh, I think they know," Carson had responded.

At their last meeting, Carson had reported that Hans had encountered him and ordered him to go down on him. Carson had refused.

"Do it," Hans had replied, "or I'll tell the whole school you're a fucking queer!"

Joe had spent over an hour exploring with Carson ways to cope with Hans' threat. From going to the headmaster and reporting that Hans was threatening him to going ahead and doing what Hans was ordering him to do. Joe again urged Carson to discuss the problem with his parents.

Joe was looking forward to this next appointment. He had decided to offer to go to the school authorities himself. He was surprised that Carson didn't show up.

He was about to leave the office for the day, when his telephone rang. It was Mr. Jennings. A custodian had found Carson's body in a school restroom. He had apparently slashed his wrists with a pen knife. Scrawled in grease pencil on a mirror was "Carson Jennings is a faggot. He sucks dick."