Date: Sat, 10 May 2008 20:06:36 -0600 From: Roy Subject: Phalen - Finding Happiness - chapter 27 - Gay College Section Phalen - Finding Happiness Chapter 27 by Roy Reinikainen He was exhausted. It had been an especially grueling day at school, and he did not feel up to entertaining. All he wanted to do was go for a long swim and then sit in the sauna with Phalen and relax, letting the heat and Phalen's magic fingers do their work. He knew it was unlikely he would be able to do as he wished, but it was a nice dream. 'When are Phalen and I going to have our house to ourselves?' He asked himself. 'First Brad, then Greg, now my parents.' He sighed, walking through the courtyard toward the front door. 'I want some time alone . . . just Phalen and me.' Jeff swung the front door of the house closed and saw his father sitting at the dining table, reading the newspaper with the ubiquitous cup of coffee nearby. He waved a greeting then dropped his bag and other items from school on his office desk and walked into the dining room, leaning over and hugging his father. The recent afternoon spent in the sauna had changed their relationship with one another. He wondered how he could have ever thought of his father as distant and unapproachable. David grinned giving Jeff's hand a squeeze from where it still rested on his shoulder. "Where's Mother?" Jeff asked, pulling out a chair and sinking down with a sigh. "She and Larry have gone to pick Greg up at work, then they're heading out to parts unknown, probably to shop for some sort of long slinky evening wear. You know the type?" Jeff nodded, recalling the many times he'd seen his mother wear something like his father described. "She looks her best when she's heading out for the opera, or one of your Embassy's functions, or something." Jeff studied his father. "Now, you . . ." He grinned. "I'm not sure when you're looking your best; when you're dressed formally, or naked as the day you were born." David responded without hesitation. "I feel most comfortable when I'm naked, but I *look* my best when I'm escorting your beautiful mother someplace." David took a sip of lukewarm coffee and made a slight face as he studied Jeff, who seemed to be lost in thought. He folded the newspaper and sat back, waiting for Jeff to decide when, or if, he should speak about whatever was on his mind. "Dad?" Jeff leaned his forearms on the dining table, absently rubbing a circular pattern on the table top with a forefinger, not ready to meet his father's eyes. When Jeff finally did look up, David raised his eyebrows in query, but remained silent. "I would like to talk about our time in the sauna, the other day." "Are you troubled by what we did?" Jeff thought a moment. "No, it was exciting." He grinned, the same lopsided grin as his father's. "Phalen and I have talked about it a couple times, and each time we get so worked up, thinking about you, and what we did with you, that we've had sex." David smiled brightly. "Then, what's the problem? Are you thinking of inviting me to have a repeat of the other day? If so, I'm not sure . . ." "No," Jeff interrupted, "though I would be happy if we did get together again. At the time I thought perhaps I *might* be troubled, you know . . . afterward; but I haven't been." Jeff took a deep breath. "Dad, have you had sex with lots of guys while you've been married to Mother? I don't know what I mean by lots, but . . ." He shrugged, unable to articulate exactly what his concerns were. David leaned forward and touched Jeff's hand where it rested on the dining table, hoping to comfort his son who seemed to be troubled by his thoughts. "Jeff, as I told you the other day; I love your mother. I always have. Probably from the first date we ever had." He snorted a soft laugh. "If not then, certainly soon after. "But, even though she is the only woman I have ever loved, I have been, and still am in fact, attracted to men. "I haven't done anything with a man though, in quite some time, not until you and Phalen, that is, but I do look at them, and fantasize about what it would be like to be with them. When I masturbate, I think about men. When I'm with your mother, I don't. She's enough. "Your mother has always been . . . exciting . . . to me. She's so beautiful, so tall and slender . . . and blond. She's bright, and we laugh a lot; she's Finnish, and she *speaks* the language as well. As far as I'm concerned, she's the perfect woman! She's also one of the most understanding and tolerant women on the planet." David shrugged. "She has to be, to live with me all these years. "Having said all of that, and to keep you from thinking I'm trying to avoid answering you, I guess the answer to your question would have to be yes; I've had sex with quite a few men during my marriage. Whenever your mother has asked, point-blank, I've always told the truth." David's mouth twisted into a wry smile. "Sometimes, it would have been . . . easier . . . to fabricate some sort of cover story, but I never did. I don't believe I've ever told your mother a lie." He paused a moment, lost in thought. "I have . . . misled her . . . by letting her come to her own conclusions, and maybe that would be considered a lie, but I have never told her an untruth." David stared into the distance before continuing. "I can't tell you how pleased I've been to learn that neither you nor your brother have become involved with a woman. They can be wonderful, and I would never wish that my life would have been different, because if I hadn't married your mother, you and Greg would never have been born . . . and *nothing* could be worth *that*!" David grinned his signature lopsided smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "What?" Jeff asked. "There is also a down side to you and Greg having never been involved with a woman. I've always fancied that someday Margit and I would be grandparents." He compressed his lips, accepting reality. "I'm surprised the two of you stayed together." David nodded, compressing his lips still further. "Staying with me was . . . difficult, for her. In fact, there were many times I half expected her to leave me." He shrugged. "If I had been in her shoes, I probably would have left. We did discuss it." David softly snorted. "Sometimes, it seemed that was *all* we talked about; but, she never left. "I never made promises." He was silent for a few moments. "I knew . . . deep down, that even if I made them, I wouldn't be able to keep them. I tried to not see anyone, but it was . . . impossible." He sighed in remembered frustration. "Then you were born, and we moved to Finland. My new job demanded much of my time, so I was away a lot. That was terrible for your mother. She felt trapped in a strange country, with no friends, and two children to take care of, plus a husband who liked men and was not there for her as much as he should have been." David was silent for a long while, as if replaying a scene from his past. "She wasn't happy." He huffed a short laugh. "Hell, *I* wasn't happy." There was another long pause. "The funny thing was that, through all of this, we never did stop loving one another. We never even argued." He sighed. "Oh, we had our periods of silence, but we never actually fought. In fact, I can't imagine myself living with any woman other than your mother, and for whatever it's worth, I think she must feel the same about me. Maybe, what we have is a deep friendship." He shrugged, absently rotating his coffee cup on the table. "I don't know." David looked up and tried to grin. "It was rough on the two of us, but mostly I think it was rough on you and Greg. You both suffered because of me. If I had been a better father . . . the kind that Margit wished I would be, your life and your brother's life, as well as Margit's and mine, would have been better. "I don't know if I can explain to you, that even though your mother and I were having our own troubles, we have always loved you and your brother . . . very deeply." David swallowed. "I hope you felt that." Jeff nodded slowly, moved by his father's words. "At the time I didn't think so, but now . . ." He made a vague gesture with his hand. "Even before our talk today, I'd come to realize how you both felt." His mouth twisted into a crooked grin, the mirror of his father's. "A child never imagines that his parents can possibly be facing their own problems. It took me a long while to realize that . . . and to . . . forgive you." Jeff bowed his head, unable to look at his father and see what reaction his words had. "Don't blame yourself for anything, Jeff. You had your own problems to deal with. The fact that you could have forgiven us at all . . ." David bowed his head, closed his eyes, bit his lower lip, and held his breath, cursing himself. His and Jeff's candid conversation had caused him to hint at the thing he had promised Phalen not to mention. The silence extended until David feared what Jeff might do. He heard Jeff shift position in his chair. "You know . . . don't you?" Jeff asked, his voice low, totally devoid of feeling. David compressed his lips and nodded, still unwilling to meet his son's eyes. He spoke with bowed head. "We had only recently, decided not to speak to you about it. We came here debating whether we should, but you seem so happy, we didn't think anything we could possibly say would help . . . at this late date." David was finally able to meet Jeff's eyes and was surprised not to find any condemnation or anger. "We were sure your happiness had been achieved at great emotional cost, and we didn't want to undo what you had worked so hard to achieve." "When . . . when did you learn?" "We *suspected* when you were a child. We knew *something* was wrong, though we didn't know what." David took a deep breath and then plunged on. "We went to the school and spoke with the administration, telling them of our fears. They assured us that our fears were . . . unfounded. You were always such a quiet child. No one . . . we . . . the school . . . no one, knew quite what to make of you." David paused and tried to swallow. "We *wanted* to believe there was nothing wrong. We wanted to believe what we were told by the school officials. Instead, we should have asked you. We should have done what good parents would have done; but, we weren't good parents. Our inaction caused you to suffer . . . for . . . years." David's voice broke. He bowed his head, and then turned to the side, grappling with his emotions. Eventually, he took another deep breath. "We didn't *really* know, until Mrs. Kriikko came to see us . . . after you and Phalen had returned to the States, after your vacation. She was concerned that after your visit to the school you might not be okay, and mistakenly assumed that you had told us of your school visit, and the reason." Jeff's head remained bowed as he absorbed what his father was saying. "Jeff . . ." Once again, David's voice cracked. He swallowed with difficulty. "Nothing I can say now seems adequate. Nothing I can do will change the past. But . . . Jeff . . . please believe me when I say I am . . ." His voice failed him. "I am so sorry Jeff . . . for how I failed you. I let you down in ways no parent should." Jeff placed a soothing hand on top of his father's, and squeezed reassurance. "Shhhhh." He tried to grin. "Things have turned out okay. I'm free of my past . . . mostly. You and Mother are finally, truly in love, and Greg is *recovering* from his own self-imposed exile, as well. "You're right. There is nothing to be gained by self-recrimination or placing blame. The fact that you and Mother are . . . here, tells me how much you care, for both Greg and me. I appreciate it . . . more than you can possibly know." He squeezed his father's hand tighter. "I also appreciate that you have answered my questions, this afternoon, without trying to justify your past, or lie about it. It took courage to tell me all of the things you just did, and I suspect that you're a lot like me." Jeff grinned. "My counselor told me . . . and Phalen has told me . . . innumerable times, that I take on more blame for things happening in my life than I should. "You and mother are not responsible for what those men did to me. You are not responsible for me being so pig-headed to believe that I could handle everything on my own. Each of us, you, Mother, and I, are responsible for things, as well as those bastards who abused me, and the school administration who didn't follow up and tell you what they eventually discovered. *All* of us are responsible, not just you, or me, or Mother. "I wouldn't let you or Mother into my life, Dad. If I had, I have no doubt both of you would have bent over backwards to help me. My life, and the way things have turned out, has been as much based on *my* actions and decisions as much as anything you or Mother ever did, so don't beat yourself over a past neither of us can change. All we can do is make sure the future turns out as well as possible. "That's what you and Mother were doing, when I was a child . . . doing your best. That's all any person can wish for." David brushed at his eyes, thought for a moment, and then gave his son a single, brief nod. Gone was the sparkle in his eyes as well as the constant smile; but, somehow, he seemed more relaxed . . . less afraid that he might say the wrong thing. "So," Jeff continued. "No long face, okay? I love you, Dad, just as I love Mother. Probably more today than ever." He reached for his father's hand. "Thank you for coming to visit." Jeff huffed a laugh and sat back in his chair, as if he had only just realized something. "It's funny. When Phalen and I left Finland, I thought all the ghosts of my past had been banished. I just learned there was another one that needed tending to. We've finished that one off, and I'm feeling pretty damned good, right now." Both men looked up as the front door opened. David even managed a slight smile at Phalen's infectious good humor. "Really," Phalen's voice carried into the house. "He ran out of the house wearing his jock. He was in such a rush he'd forgotten his *shorts*!" His good natured laughter joined Jeff's mother's and brother's. "I mean, *really*!" Jeff bowed his head and covered his face with a hand as Phalen continued the story, unaware Jeff and David were within earshot. "He got quite a way down the block before he realized everyone could see his butt." "You're making this up Phalen," Margit laughed. David raised a questioning eyebrow in his son's direction, asking if what Phalen was saying was true. All Jeff could do was nod, and attempt to compose himself as he sat back in his chair, giving his father a quelling glance in an attempt to stifle any comments which might set Phalen off on yet another story. David schooled his smile and nodded his understanding as Greg, Margit and Phalen walked into the room. "Oh, oh," Phalen grumbled, glancing at Jeff's face for a clue as to how much of the story he'd heard. "You don't mind me telling that story, do you, big man? I mean, they're family." He crossed the room, gave Jeff a brief hug, and then turned back to Greg and Margit to finish his story, not waiting for Jeff's response.. "I mean, the girls down the street . . . You remember, Jeff? The ones who made you realize you were practically naked?" Jeff nodded, ignoring his mother's soft snort of amusement and the heat of blood rushing to his cheeks in remembered embarrassment. "Well," Phalen continued. "Those young ladies certainly got an eye full." He turned to Jeff. "I would imagine they've told all their friends about what a sexy butt you've got, Jeff." He got a strange look on his face. "Maybe that's the reason all the junior high school girls now walk past our house on their way home." He winked in David's direction. "Hmm . . . I wonder." Jeff sank back into his chair. It seemed he was destined to always be embarrassed by starring in one of Phalen's stories. Margit patted Phalen on the shoulder and then leaned down and gave Jeff a kiss on the cheek. "That's probably enough, Phalen," she warned as she pulled out a chair and sat down, depositing her shopping bags at her side. Phalen dragged a chair over to sit next to Jeff while Greg rummaged about in the kitchen. Even though he had moved to Larry's a few days earlier, he continued to behave as if he were still at home, something Jeff wanted all visitors to feel. "So," Phalen said, looking from Jeff to his father. "What have you guys been up to?" He nudged Jeff. "You've been doing something serious; I can tell." He noticed Jeff's father nervously moisten his lips after the merest glance in Jeff's direction. He then seemed to find something interesting in the wood grain of the dining table. Margit looked first at her husband and then toward Jeff. Even Greg seemed to realize something was amiss. The noise from the kitchen sputtered to a stop. "Jeff . . ." Phalen asked, drawing out the name, the smile fading from his face. "Is everything cool?" He reached for Jeff's hand and linked fingers, taking comfort in the feeling of the pressure Jeff exerted. "Things are fine, Phalen." His eyes flicked to his father; he took a deep breath. Everyone became quiet as they waited for Jeff to speak. "I . . ." Another glance toward David. "I was just telling Dad about my childhood . . ." Phalen's grip on Jeff's hand tightened. "All the good things I remember, and a few of the not so good." "Oh." Phalen looked in Jeff's father's direction. David held up both hands as if he could ward off Phalen's accusatory look. "I didn't tell him! He came to the conclusion on his own." Phalen turned to Jeff, who nodded. "I started the conversation," Jeff interrupted, realizing for the first time that Phalen and his father must have discussed whether or not David should say something about Jeff's abuse. "Dad only promised to answer my questions. He's blameless." "Hardly," David murmured, unwilling to meet Phalen's eyes. "Are you okay, sweetheart?" Margit asked. She, just as Phalen, could tell that many more things than Jeff's childhood had been discussed. On one hand, Jeff seemed disturbed by something; on the other he seemed more relaxed than ever. "I'm not so good at reading your moods any longer, but I certainly *can* read Phalen's, and he seems to think you may not be." "Yes, Mother," Jeff responded. "Better than ever." He glanced at Phalen and then back to his mother. "Phalen's just trying to protect me from things which once would have been . . ." He hesitated. "Very disturbing." He turned to Phalen. "I'm right, lover . . . aren't I?" Phalen jerked an unwilling nod. "I'm also right that you all have discussed my problems . . ." He looked first at Phalen and then at his parents. Greg shook his head, pointing to himself. "I made them promise they wouldn't talk to you about it." Phalen turned to him. "You've made such wonderful progress; I didn't want you to start blaming yourself for things which happened so long ago. I know you. That's what'll happen. Somehow, you'll twist things around so that everything rests solely on your shoulders. It doesn't." Before he could continue, Jeff drew him closer. "I know that's what I tend to do, but Dad and I have talked things through. There's enough blame to go around. I'm part of it. Dad and Mom are partly responsible, as is the school, and of course those bastards who called themselves teachers." He turned and kissed the top of Phalen's head as it rested on his shoulder. "I'm not so much of a masochist to accept more than my share. "Besides, I'm not placing blame on anyone but the guys who are now behind bars, may they get their just rewards. You and Dad have to listen to me, Mother. There is nothing for either of you to continue to feel bad about. When I was a child, you both did all you were able to do, to help me out. I wouldn't let either of you go any further. I'm at fault for that, not you. "It wasn't until I met Phalen and Larry that I was willing to let someone into my life enough to help me with what I was experiencing. The time was right for me to begin freeing myself of my past, and I was lucky enough to have people nearby who were wiling to help." He turned to Phalen with an affectionate smile. "I'm afraid I put them through quite a lot." He huffed a muted laugh. "Especially Phalen. *Him*, I put through hell . . . on a number of occasions." Phalen gave him a wan smile. "But, he never ran away from me or my nightmares. Neither did Larry, nor Brad, or my counselor. "So." He raised his voice. "Enough of the long faces! Life is good. I've got wonderful parents, a brother, who like me, is only now discovering himself. I've got friends like Larry and Brad and Curt . . . and a lover to whom I owe my sanity." Margit returned her husband's indecipherable look. Like him, she was wondering just how bad things had been for their son, and no matter how much Jeff urged both of them not to feel guilty, they would carry it with them for the remainder of their lives. "I told Dad earlier that I keep finding ghosts that need to be banished. Today, I conquered another one. So, it's time to celebrate!" He smiled at Greg, who was resting a hand on his back, and then lowered his voice. "I'm hoping there aren't too many more ghosts to take care of . . . but, with you all at my side, there can be no doubt that I will handle every one of them." He turned to Phalen, who wrapped him in an embrace and drew him into a lingering kiss, in a room gone silent. It wasn't until they separated that he realized he and Phalen had never kissed one another in front of his mother. She was looking on, one hand over her mouth, as her eyes shone with love and unshed tears. Phalen glanced toward Margit. "Sometimes, that's the only way to get him to stop talking." Margit and David both barked a laugh, the mood of the room suddenly lightening. "David," Phalen murmured. "I'm sorry for being upset with you. Jeff's right. I was trying to protect him. I don't think it's necessary so much, now. I just can't seem to stop." He snuggled closer to Jeff. "He's a big boy. He can take care of himself." "Never quit trying to protect one another, dear," Margit said. "Even though it's tough to decide how much protection is too much. We all must face our own battles, but I've learned those challenges are much more easily overcome when a loved one is standing at our side." "Now, no more talk of the past," Jeff said, scooting his chair back and standing as his father reached for his mother's hand across the table. "Is anyone hungry?" "Need you ask?" Greg theatrically groaned, moved as much by his parents' gentle touch as by the earlier discussion of Jeff's past. "What do you think I was doing in the kitchen? I guess my hint was way too subtle." "I'll help," Phalen offered, heading for the kitchen. "No!" Greg stepped in front of him. "We just got the kitchen cleaned up from your and Mother's last foray into the culinary world. Jeff and I can handle things." Phalen shrugged and rejoined David and Margit. Once they were in the kitchen, Greg drew Jeff into an embrace. "I'm so happy that's all out in the open," he murmured. "You're not the only one in the family who wants to carry all the world's burdens, Jeff. The way you handled things will keep both Mother and Dad from accepting more guilt than necessary." He kissed his brother on the cheek. "Thanks." ---------- Larry looked up at the light tap on his closed office door. 'Geez, eight o'clock already. I should be home!' He raised his voice. "Come in," he called, expecting to see a coworker or possibly one of the janitorial staff. Instead, Greg peered around the partially open door. "Good evening, Mr. Attorney-guy." He smiled, his dark blue eyes sparkling. "The man I love is working late tonight, so I thought I'd head out to his office and find out what could possibly be more interesting than . . . me." He smiled when Larry practically jumped from his desk chair and ran to the door, drawing him into an embrace. "You look soooo sexy in a suit," Greg murmured, holding Larry at arm's length and looking him up and down. He ran his hand over the front of Larry's dark grey suit coat as a smile played with the corners of Larry's mouth. He twitched in instant pleasure when Greg's hand moved beneath the coat and tweaked the firm nub of one of his nipples. "If I didn't already know what was hidden beneath all these clothes, I'd be dying to find out." Greg pulled on Larry's necktie, drawing him close until their tongues meshed. He could feel Larry tremble at his touch and was once again amazed that *he* . . . Greg Layson . . . the man who was perpetually unlucky at love, could make someone sigh with pleasure at the merest touch. "Since you know what's underneath, does that mean you're no longer interested?" Larry asked, playing along, enjoying the way in which Greg continued to be more relaxed the longer they were together. Moving out of Jeff's had been a big step for both him and Greg. They were no longer merely interested in one another. They had become lovers . . . partners. Greg made a sound deep in his throat as he pushed the office door closed with his foot and then sank to his knees in front of Larry. "I'll show you how interested I am in what's underneath," he said, gently squeezing as Larry's penis began to thicken. He buried his face in the fabric of Larry's trousers, nipping at the erection trapped beneath the fabric. "I love it when you wear a suit," he murmured, pulling Larry closer as he kneaded the cheeks of his buttocks, the suit fabric sliding over the hairless skin. "I especially love it when I know that you've got nothing underneath, but a swimmer's jockstrap." He looked up from where he was kneeling, all the while continuing to massage the muscles of Larry's butt. "Don't you sometimes get hard when you feel the fabric of your pants rubbing your butt?" Larry chuckled. "Always happens at the worst times," Larry admitted. "Like in court." He thrust his crotch in Greg's direction. "I enjoy having you nuzzle it like you were. More, please?" "Hmm," Greg chuckled. "I intend to do much more than nuzzle. By the time I'm finished, you're going to be drained dry and weak in the knees." He unfastened Larry's belt and then slowly lowered his zipper, peeling the front of Larry's trousers open. "Oh my," he murmured, instantly burying his face in the fish net mesh fabric of the white jock. "You can see right through it." He inhaled deeply. "I love it. I love how you smell." He licked over the prominent mound and then rubbed the tip of his nose across the fabric. "Your pubes look so hot." Larry took a shuddering breath as Greg began sucking on the head of his penis through the thin pouch fabric. Larry pried off his shoes and then managed to step out of his pants while Greg continued to nuzzle the jock's pouch. He then spread his legs further apart allowing Greg's mouth access to his testicles. "On the floor," Greg suddenly ordered. "On your back," he added. "Leave the coat on. Seeing you partially naked is even sexier than having you totally nude." He grinned. "At least it is, right now. When we get home, I like it better when you're bare assed naked." Larry was lying on his back on the carpeted floor, his legs on either side of his still-kneeling lover. "Speaking, of ass," Greg murmured, taking hold of Larry's ankles and pushing his knees back to his shoulders, exposing the hairless opening between the thin straps of the jockstrap. "I'm going to get you all wet." Greg licked a broad swath across Larry's butt hole. "And then, when you're begging me . . ." Another lick. "I'm going to fuck you . . ." Yet another lick, this time pausing to probe the pulsing hole with his tongue. "Yes," Greg breathed as he backed away, the lower part of his face shiny with his own saliva. "I'm going to fuck you nice and slow, until I shoot my load inside you. I love feeling my cock slide in and out, surrounded by my own sperm." "Ohhhh, yesss," Larry sighed, wrapping his arms around his calves to allow Greg more freedom. "Fuck me, lover," he begged. "Stretch me." He squirmed on Greg's tongue. "Fill me up, then lick it up as I overflow." He managed to reach out and force Greg's face into his ass. "C'mon, cowboy. Ride my ass." He raised his head and watched as Greg hurriedly stripped naked, absently wiping a forearm across his wet mouth. 'Not a month ago,' Larry thought to himself. 'I'd have wanted to have sex with this man because he so closely resembles Jeff. No longer. Now, I want to be with him because he is Greg.' He watched as Greg absently combed his fingers through his thick black hair and then ran an open palm over his own chest, pausing a moment at one of his own nipples. He met Larry's eyes and grinned at the same time he wiped the head of his erection across Larry's hole. When Larry jumped, he smiled, his deep blue eyes sparkling. "So, my lover likes my penis, does he?" "Oh yesss," Larry sighed. "Ohhhh yes," he repeated as Greg repeatedly teased the tight opening with the head of his cock. Greg began to run the tip of a forefinger around the opening he was about to stretch. He pressed and felt the muscles loosen and then tighten at the same time Larry whimpered in anticipation. Greg slowly stroked himself, wildly excited by the man who was lying before him, naked from the waist down, his knees drawn back to his shoulders, and his smooth ass hole begging for attention. It was always exciting to see Larry naked, but to see him still wearing his suit coat, white shirt and necktie, while showing off his naked butt hole, went beyond exciting. "Greg . . ." Larry pleaded. "Now's not the time to tease. I'm burning up, here. Climb aboard and ride me." He raised his head wearing a pleading look, before resting it once again on the carpet with a slight whimper. He bit his lip as Greg scooted closer on his knees and positioned the head of his erection at Larry's hole. "Ready counselor?" Greg asked in a husky emotion-filled voice. Larry silently nodded, still biting on his lower lip. "Do it, lover." Larry begged. "Pump me full." Greg scooted closer still, the wide head of his erection slowly beginning to stretch Larry's anus. He paused at the first grimace. "More," Larry whispered. "There's no way it's not gonna hurt, so just slide in, in one slow stroke." "You sure?" Greg's question was answered by a single nod. He slowly pushed forward and watched as Larry's sphincter snapped, capturing the head of his cock. As always, Greg was amazed at the intense warmth he felt when he was in Larry. "More," Larry begged, arching his back in an attempt to impale himself. When Greg hesitated, fearful of hurting the man beneath him; Larry ordered. "*All of it*," he demanded. Now, it was Greg who was biting his lip. He'd never been able to sink his full length into Larry's hole. Either Larry would stop him, or he'd stop himself when he saw the pain he was causing. He knew, from Jeff's boyhood experiences, that anal sex could easily come to be equated with pain, and he didn't want that barrier to form between him and Larry. 'After all,' he told himself. 'I don't need to be fully in him to get the full pleasure of fucking.' Larry had disagreed. "I've got to become accustomed to it," he groaned. "No, that's not correct. I should say that I *want* to become accustomed to it. I love having you inside me. I want *all* of you inside me." Greg did as Larry demanded. Instead of watching Larry's face, where he knew he would see pain, he watched his penis as he sank its full length into Larry's hole. When his pubes were pressed against Larry's butt cheeks, he looked up, only to see a tear escape from the corner of one of Larry's eyes, and slide over the side of his head to eventually drop onto the carpet. "Larry . . . ?" "I . . . I'm okay," Larry managed. "Really." He opened his eyes and tried to smile. "Just hold still for a bit and let me . . . enjoy . . . this. It's . . . It's," Larry repeated. "It's not that you're so long; you're just so damned thick." He gulped a breath of air. "But, if Phalen can take your brother, I can handle you." He gave Greg a lopsided grin, his dimples flashing. Greg leaned forward and sought out Larry's tongue as he rested his entire weight on top of his lover, his erection throbbing and begging for release. When he sensed Larry's breathing was becoming less labored, he began to slowly rock his hips, sliding no more than an inch or so of his cock in and out. "Oh, that's so good," Larry moaned a moment before he pulled Greg's face to his and began giving him a deep kiss. "Harder, cowboy," he murmured. "It's good now. Really give it to me. Fuck me like you mean it." "That's exactly what I'm doing," Greg managed to say as he watched the entire length of his cock disappear into Larry, a moment before he withdrew only to plunge home once more. He could feel Larry tighten the muscles of his sphincter, masturbating him with his anal muscles. Suddenly, Larry's breathing increased. He tightened his sphincter muscles in a convulsive move, an instant before Greg could feel the prostate swell, and Larry shot a thick string of sperm which draped itself across his burgundy silk tie. At the same moment, Greg buried himself and sent his own load deep inside Larry's hole. His cock throbbed, once, twice, three times, each contraction giving Larry exactly what he'd asked for, a hole full of Greg's sperm. "Oh geez," Larry puffed a breath, tightening his sphincter, continuing to milk Greg, who was now watching his thick load beginning to ooze from around his erection on each slow outward stroke. Greg watched, transfixed as a thick white pearl formed and then slid toward the carpet. "That was . . . even better than my fantasies," Larry managed to say, his breathing beginning to return to normal. "Your fantasies?" Greg invited an explanation. Before speaking, Larry squeezed Greg's shrinking erection, causing more sperm to escape. Greg gathered up some of the jiz with three fingers and then offered them to Larry who hungrily sucked them clean. "More," Larry begged, extending his tongue the moment Grew withdrew his fingers. "Please." Greg did as Larry asked, withdrawing his cock, scooping up as much of his own sperm as he could, and then once again offering his fingers to Larry. Larry licked his lips, seeking out any of Greg's cum he might have missed before continuing his explanation of his fantasies. "Ever since meeting you, I've fantasized about what it would be like to be *really* fucked by you. Not like what we've done in the past few days. I'm talking about a *real* fuck, with you totally inside me." He huffed a slightly giddy laugh. "As Phalen would say; having it happen was awesome." "For me as well," Greg leaned forward and slurped up as much of Larry's load as possible, even licking over the silk tie. When he straightened up he sighed. "Damn, we've got to do that again." Larry rolled his head from side to side. "Not tonight, cowboy. I feel as if I've just shot more sperm than I have in my entire life." He looked down at his tie. "Look at me. I'm a mess!" ~ to be continued ~ Thank you for taking the time to read my work. I *always* welcome your email and enjoy hearing your thoughts. If you would like me to send a pic of the character(s), please ask. In addition to the first 'Phalen' story, I have three other stories you may want to read. 'Leith' and 'Chris' are located in the Nifty College Section. The third story is called 'Wesley', and is located in the Adult Relationships section. Two new stories, will be posted, shortly. 'Owen' will appear in the Nifty College Section, and 'Jess' will appear in the Nifty Incest section. I hope you enjoy them all. Roy Reinikainen roynm@mac.com suomalainen_abq@mac.com