Date: Sun, 23 Feb 2003 23:39:21 -0500
From: Dave H. <streyn@hotmail.com>
Subject: Problems with Romance Chapter 3 (section-college)

Author's Note:

Ok. So this is my first try at writing a story. Hopefully some of you out
there will read this and hopefully like it some bit. This story is not one
of those "Oh, did I drop something. I must now bend down. Oh my bad, I don't
have any underwear on. Do you think you could help me" stories. It's just
about a college guy trying to find the right person. So if that disinterests
you, you should stop reading. Otherwise, read on. The story may be a little
slow, but it will eventually pick up around the following parts to come. If
you have any comments, e-mail me at Streyn@hotmail.com

This story is completely fictional. So any similarities you may see are
purely coincidental. In other words, don't bite my ass off if it just so
happens that you're life just happens to be exactly like the one in this
story.

Also, if you are under age or it is illegal for you to be reading this, then
go away now. Don't want you reading something you shouldn't now. Also, if
these kinds of stories are not to your liking, you should leave as well

-------
CHAPTER 3

"Xavier, I'm gay." There. I said it. Finally. I suppose that wasn't too
hard. But now what? Is he just going to stand there? I mean, he had to see
this coming. And who cares if he doesn't approve. Well, I care. But that's
beyond the point.

"Oh."

Oh???? What is that supposed to mean? "Well, I just wanted you to know. I
figure there's no real use hiding it from you. We will be rooming for
another 6 months and I'd like to live without hiding anything from you. I
just wanted to tell you mainly because you have become a really good friend.
And hopefully you'll stay that way?"

"Huh? Yah. No, um, I have to go right now. I forgot that I have a class."

"Sure. You better get going. Wouldn't want to be late, would you? I'll just
talk to you later. Things are cool with us, right?"

"Yah. No problems." And with that, he left our room.

This only left me even more thoroughly confused. I pretty much kept out of
sight for the next few days. Long term papers and exams were easily helping
me out. I guess I sort of avoided my room. I stayed as long as possible in
the library or student center. I was going to leave back for Washington in
about one day. I was just ending some stuff before I went back. Diane and
Matt were still not on talking terms which was really destructive for our
going out routine. And as for Xavier and me, we talked. But it seemed like
there was a big distance between us. That day, I was just studying in the
library when Will happened to be in the same area as me. Suddenly, all these
thoughts were rushing into my head. What should I say? Did Xavier tell him I
was gay? "Hey Will. What's up?"

"Oh nothing much. I just need to grab a book and I'll be on my way."

"Wait. Will. Why are you in such a hurry? I mean, this IS a public library."

"Dave, I'm just late for meeting someone."

Who is this someone? Most likely some random girl. Who knows? Oh well. I
decided to ask him, "Can we please talk. The last time we really talked,
well, I was trying to explain why..."

"Look. Dave. I'm really not in the mood for talking right now if you don't
mind. I'm sure we can do this later."

No, I wanted to talk to him right now. He quickly rushed out of the library
before I could catch him. Dammit. I couldn't let it end like this. I really
wanted to be his friend. I really wanted him to be my friend. I ran out of
the library with all my stuff as quickly as I could. Shit, where did he go?
Maybe he just went back to his dorm, I ran as quickly as I could but he was
nowhere to be found. I had lost him.

"Dave."

That sounded like Will. But where was he?

"Dave, come over here."

There he was. Against the wall of the dorm, covered by some bushes. No
wonder I didn't see him. I quickly ran over to him. Already out of breath, I
could barely talk. "Look...gasp...I was sorry...for not going that time...gasp...with
you...gasp...to the coffee shop. I couldn't. See, my friend, I'm not sure if you
remember her..."

"Diane."

"Yah, Wait, how did you know?"

"I talked to her. She told me how you stayed with her after her fight with
that guy. She told me how you stayed with her and comforted her. Cared for
her."

"So you knew? Then how come you've been acting that way? Like, trying to get
out of the library as quickly as possible? How come you're trying to avoid
me?"

"I wasn't! Well, I wasn't really. Actually, a few days after we fought, I
went up to your dorm. I tried knocking but you and Xavier weren't there.
Diane came out of her room and recognized me from that time we went out.
Then she told me the story."

"Yah, but that still doesn't explain why you've been avoiding me." So let's
see, we fought, he came to talk, I wasn't there, he talked with Diane, and
he knew why I wasn't able to go. Did he just not to be my friend?

After a while, Will finally spoke up. "Look. And don't speak. I really need
to get this out. And I need you to stand against this wall the whole time.
Don't leave. Don't talk. Just listen. Ok. I really like you. I want to get
to you know you more. Ever since we had that walk, I have been trying to
manage some get together. So when you didn't come that time, I was really
hurt. I just thought that you might be being nice to me just because I was
Xavier's friend and all. And when you came to me the next day, I didn't want
to see your face. But after I thought for a while, I remember how distraught
you looked, so I went to see you. But I felt even more dejected when you
didn't answer your door. Then, when Diane told me her story, I felt even
more worthless. You tried to explain why you weren't able to come and I
didn't even let you try. I was being a real bastard. After this, I just
thought I didn't deserve to be your friend, with the way I was acting and
everything. I guess I was trying to avoid you. I feel really horrible for
the way I acted towards you that day. So, when I saw you in the library, I
tried to get out as quickly as possible because I thought you didn't want to
be around me. I'm really sorry. I really like you. I really want to be your
friend, and I really want you to be mine. I know this is sudden, I mean, we
just got to know each other. I'm gay. I want you to know that. I want to
form a friendship with you knowing that I'm gay. I know you might not want
to be associated with me anymore. I just, well, ever since that time we
landed at the bottom of the hill, I felt something there. A real closeness
that I have never felt with anyone before."

"Will..." He amazed me. Now I knew how he really felt. And now, I wanted to be
with him even more.

"Wait. There's just one more thing."

Standing against the wall, there was no real place for me to go. What else
did he need to say? He inched closer to me. Taking my hands into his own, he
pressed his body into mine, pinning me against the wall. Slowly, he brought
one hand to my chin. Our faces inched closer and closer, him pulling me to
his lips. We were millimeters away when...

"Wait. Will. Stop. I can't."

"Oh. I understand. I'll just go now. It's ok. You don't have to talk to me
anymore. I know how you feel. I don't know what came over me. " He looked so
rejected. Stupid! Why did I stop!? He started to walk away. No, I wouldn't
let him go without explaining this time around.

"Will! Would you stop for a second? I need to tell you something."

"What?" He turned around and stared me in the face. He was crying. He was
actually crying. His tears falling down his face. His eyes looking down at
the ground. "Do you want to make fun of me now?"

"Will. Look, this is really hard for me to say too. I mean, I have only told
one person. Well, it's just..." I took his face into my hands. I looked him
straight in the eyes. "I'm...I'm gay too. Well, at least, I think I am." The
moment I said this, I noticed he stopped crying. I think I saw him start to
smile. "I mean, well, it's kind of hard to be gay when I haven't really been
with a guy before. And I guess I was also reluctant to start a relationship
with you because I thought you might have a lot more experience with
relationships. I've only had two, and they were pretty horrible, and..."

"Shhh. Stop talking for one second." He put this finger over my lips. Then
he grabbed my body close to his. We just stood there for a while, looking
into each other's eyes. He smelled so good. I wiped away any remaining tears
with my hands. Then I inched toward his face. Closer and closer, my heart
was starting to beat a lot faster. My breathing quickened. I was so nervous.
I hadn't kissed someone on the lips in almost two years. I started to say
something but Will quickly stopped me.

"You really know how to ruin a moment, don't you? Just be quiet for a few
seconds." And with, he closed my lips with his. The heat, the sensual touch
of his lips against me. Everything just became second nature. We just stayed
against that wall kissing for minutes. He shocked me when I felt his tongue
on mine. I had never kissed anyone with such love and body. Our hands
roaming, searching each other's body.

"Wait, I think I hear someone coming."

"Who cares? Just keep kissing me." And so I did. He started kissing my neck,
nibbling on my ear. It was so wonderful. I wish this moment would never
stop. But it eventually had to.

"Will, I need to go. My plane is leaving in less than 16 hours. I need to
get some rest. And I know that won't happen if I stay here with you. Believe
me, I would love nothing more than to stay here with you. But I need to get
some sleep. Are you doing anything for Thanksgiving break?"

"Yes, I am going back to Baltimore. Spending some time with the family."

"Ok, well, Baltimore is only an hour drive from Washington. How about we
meet up sometime what we are down there?"

"I would love that." We kissed one more time.

And so, I walked him to his dorm and dropped him off. "See you in a few
days."

After this, I ran over to my dorm. I couldn't wait to tell Diane all about
what happened. The moment I got to her room, I just started to pour out
everything. From our meeting in the library, to making out in the bushes, to
dropping him off. Oh, just retelling the whole thing made me so happy.

"That's really great, Dave. I'm glad you two finally got together. I would
have told you that I had talked with Will but he made me promise I wouldn't
say anything. Also, it's not like I have seen you in a while."

"I'm sorry."

"Well, I guess I forgive you. You're so freaking giddy. Your happiness is
starting to sicken me. Then again, I wish I could say the same about Matt
and me."

"What is happening with you two anyways?"

"Well, his flight left today. I saw him leaving the dorm. I'm pretty sure he
saw me. He didn't look very happy. And I'm glad. He's such an asshole."

"Now, now, I'm sure he'll come around."

"I hope so. Now, go to sleep already. Also, one last thing. About our bet.
Did you tell Xavier that you were gay?"

"Yah. I don't think he took it too well. The last time we really talked was
when I told him."

"I'm sorry."

"Yah, well, at least now he knows. Guess there's nothing much I can do about
it. Ok, I'm going to my room now. Have a safe flight back to Florida. I will
see you in one week after I get back from D.C. Love ya dear."

"Bye hun."

So one more goodbye left to make. Xavier. Walking to my room, I could see
that he was there. I stayed outside for a bit. What should I say? Should I
tell him about Will? Should I try and discuss more with him about me being
gay? I had no clue what to do. I finally walked in. "Hey Xavier."

"Oh. Hey Dave. So you're leaving tomorrow? Spending Thanksgiving with your
family?"

"Yah. How about you?"

"Nah, I'm staying here. Some other people I know are staying in Boston too
so we just have our own Thanksgiving."

"That's good."

And then there was silence, as if there was nothing more to talk about. I
tried to start another conversation but I couldn't. In the past, I could
talk to him about anything. We could even talk about which Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtle was better, or what kind of cartoons we watched. But now,
nothing came to mind. It was as if there was a big flashing neon sign "GAY?"
hanging over our heads. Neither of us really wanted to talk about it I
suppose. We might say something stupid to each other. So we both went about
our own business. Eventually I fell asleep. I woke up the next morning and
got ready to leave for Logan Airport. Xavier was still asleep so I didn't
want to wake him up. He looked so cute. So peaceful. His low snore. Stubble
growing on his face. But then I remembered our current situation. So I
quietly left our dorm. No need for more painful goodbyes. Besides, I would
see him in a week when I returned.

So now I am on an airplane to National Airport in D.C. But now what? I had
this huge revelation about my sexuality. But how and when should I tell my
parents? Would they know? What I am thinking? Of course not. I guess it's
just my paranoid tendencies. But I had to deal with this. I guess I could
just tell them later. After a two hour flight, we finally touched down in
D.C.

I was back home. I should be excited to be back with my family. So then why
did I feeel so anxious? Oh yeah, my family. That's why.

------------------------------------------
Ok, this chapter is a bit shorter than the others I guess. I suppose now
that I'll have to compensate in the next chapter. Again, if you have any
questions, comments, or ideas, e-mail me at Streyn@hotmail.com
Thanks