Date: Thu, 31 May 2001 03:10:12 EDT
From: WhtWindWIf@aol.com
Subject: Realtionships And Memories (Part 2)

RELATIONSHIPS & MEMORIES Part 2

	Well, thank you to the people that wrote responses to my
first story.  And to those of you who read it but didn't write-
shame on you!  Sigh, when will people learn?

	As before- this story is entirely fictitious based on a true
story that never happened in real life.  Same rules apply: If you
are under 21 or this is not legal where you live than stop trying
to break the law.  If you do not like to read sex between
consenting males I really can't fathom why you're here.  If you
do like reading it- than put your feet up and be my guest.  And
if you did not read the preceding story- go back and read it
first!  Now- Part 2 of out gripping tale!!

	The sunlight streamed in through the window and lit the
room up.  It cascaded along my body and I woke up to a beautiful
day.  I looked up at the ceiling not wanting to get up. Forcing
myself, I looked towards my alarm clock.  The large red numbers
read 6:34. I flicked the alarm on my clock off before it was
suppose to go off.  I wouldn't have to be at work for a couple
more hours.  Slowly, I managed to move the dead weights I call my
legs out from under the covers and down onto the floor.  I could
hear the bones cracking all over my body as I began to move.  I
walked into the hallway and looked into my Steven's room.  He was
still sound asleep sprawled along his bed.  "He's so cute when
he's asleep," I thought to myself.  Why are straight guys
irresistible?
	The kitchen floor was deathly cold as I began to walk
across it.  My feet adjusted and I opened up the refrigerator.  I
grabbed the container of orange juice but realized there's only
one class left in it.  I decided to leave the last one for
Steven.  He would probably need it more than me anyway.  I can
always go down the cafeteria and get something later.  Since it
was such a nice day I decided to take a walk.
	The early morning air felt good against my skin.  It was
rare the temperature was moderately warm, but I wasn't
complaining.  The park was nearly empty as it usually is at this
time.  I sat down on the bench and enjoyed the scenery and
watched the city awaken.  It wasn't long before my mind was bored
with doing nothing so it was time to daydream.
	"Hi.  Mind if I sit here," asked a brown-haired student as
I was eating my lunch at the table.
	I looked up briefly," Sure, it's a free country slash cafeteria."
	"Thanks," commented the boy as he sat down," The names
Justin Castalino."
	I looked over again," Jason Castle." I extended my hand
slightly and it was quickly shook.  Before I retracted my hand I
noticed a couple tables behind Justin that were unoccupied.  I
then looked behind myself and saw numerous tables empty.  This
seemed mighty curious to me, but I decided it was nothing to
dwell on.
	"Same initials," he smiled at me as my hand returned no my
side.
	Not seeing that it was pertinent information, or of any
importance I weakly responded," Uh, yeah, I guess so."  An
awkward silence existed between us.  We had both noticed this,
and I had figured he expected me to begin a conversation.  I
didn't even know this person, and frankly I don't talk to people
I don't know.  That may be an unfriendly attitude but its just
part of personality.
	The silence lasted mush too long.  I gazed up and saw him
chewing on some lasagna.
	"Hey, I didn't know they had lasagna today," I tried to
break the silence.  Believe me, I knew full well they had
lasagna.  I was almost tempted to try some.  But I wanted to say
something.  I felt this need and it seemed a bit rude since he
had tried to be friendly.
	He smiled as I finally said something," Oh yeah.  It's
great.  You should try it." The dialogue had begun.
	"You know, I just might."  We both began to smile.  Our
conversation had lasted for a half-hour, but I can't be sure.  I
didn't have any concept of time, especially when eating.  As he
bid his farewell saying he had to go to class I waved to him.  In
hindsight I thought that was too intimate at this time and
juncture.
	Justin looked back at me seeing my wave and gave a look of
surprise.  Now it wasn't exactly shock because his smile had
remained constant.  Happily surprised you might call it.
I was awakened from my daydream by a loud thump.  Startled
I looked in the direction just to see the Frisbee land on the
ground after hitting the back of the bench.
"Sorry man," said a shirtless man," my bad."  I looked at
the man and a noticed he had a couple beads of sweat trickling
along his body.  Gods, that is so sexy.  I stopped myself.  It's
obvious I haven't had sex in quite a while.
	Somehow I managed to respond," Uh, no problem."  I watched
his shapely backside as he walked away.  Hey, I'm only human.  I
got up and looked at my watch.  Now was a good time as any for
breakfast.
I sat down with a bagel and cream cheese, two sausage links
and 1 piece of bacon.  Everything a body needs.  I stuck my fork
into the sausage imagining a certain body part of my ex-lover,
Stan.  After eating it I chuckled slightly.  As I looked up I
realized that I sat in this exact place before.  It suddenly
occurred to me, I do this very often.  This is the exact same
spot I sat in when I met Justin.  I looked down as I thought
about him.  Feelings I kept inside for so long came back to me.
I remember the day we fought and then broke up.  Not one piece of
memory had been forgotten, only repressed.  I couldn't fight the
memories flooding in they wouldn't stop.
Justin voice was weak when he spoke.  We both lied in bed
just resting.
	"What's wrong, baby," I asked as I sat up on my arm.
All Justin did was shake his head lightly," Nothing."
	"Nothing," that's it?  That's not like you.  If I ask you
something, you give me more than a one-word answer.  Remember
when I asked you if you liked mint chocolate chip or French
vanilla ice cream better, then you-," I stopped myself and I
looked at Justin.  He was not smiling.  The situation I was
describing was humorous and always made Justin laugh.  This was
not the case.  I stayed silent realizing this was a dire state he
was in.  "Tell me."
"I don't want to. I can't."  He sat up.
"You can."  A pause existed between us.  I put my hand on
his shoulder," No matter what, I will love you.  I will always
love you."  I thought about what I had just said.  These words
are so cliched.  Although those are my feelings and had real
emotion, they can be perceived as quotes that have been used many
times without meaning.  "You are my true love, I love you more
than-."
	"Stop," Justin shouted as he turned his head to look at me.
I hadn't noticed but Justin had been crying the whole time.  I
quickly removed my hand surprised that he had just yelled at me.
His voice lowered as he began again.  "Just stop, Jason.  You're
making this hard for me."  Just as I was about to ask Jason held
up his hand.  "Don't speak.  I need to tell you now.  If I don't,
then I may never me able to; until it's too late."  I knew at
this point I should ask something but I let him continue.  He
didn't speak as he looked away.  Hi back was to me.  "I'm... going...
I'm moving."  I remained silent.  The room was very quiet.  The
next sentence came very quickly, "It's not my decision.  I don't
have choice in the matter.  There's nothing I can do."  Justin
refused to face me as he sat up on the bed.
	"When," I asked sternly even though I still hadn't fully
absorbed what he said.
	"Next week."  This blew my mind.  For a moment I couldn't
speak.  He is moving next week, I knew he had to have known this
sooner.  But he hadn't said anything.
	"Justin, for Christ sake, next week?" I got up from the
bed.  "Why the hell didn`t you tell me before."  I knew the
answer, but I had to say something.
	"Jason, I couldn't.  I wanted to.  But I wanted... I
couldn't."  There was nothing I could say.  I knew he couldn't
stay, and I knew there was no way to stop this.  "This was a bad
idea.  I shouldn't have-," Justin stopped looked at me.  "I love
you," he kissed me quickly on the cheek and still crying walked
out of my room and out of my life.
I looked down at my plate.  I still had 1 sausage link left and
half a bagel.  I wasn't hungry anymore.  I threw away what was
left of my food and put my tray on the conveyer to be washed.  As
I reached up to the scratch on my cheek I noticed it only itched
because of the tears that forced their way to the surface.
	Why was I thinking about Justin so much lately?  It was a
bad breakup, not the worst, but it left me emotionally empty.
This had to be Stan's fault; he reawakened feelings of love and
dumped me.  This also disturbed feelings of sadness when I lose
someone I love.  The relationship between Justin and me was so
long ago, and I should've understood Justin's side before lashing
out.  He probably still had his original e-mail address, I should
write to him.  I should at least apologize and make amends.  It
won't bring him back to me, but at least we could still be
friends again.
	Glancing at my watch it was nearly time for work.  I walked
across the street to the bookstore.  The manager was in, but the
store hadn't opened yet.  Today promised to but uneventful as
usual.  When I was not helping customers I was either reading one
of the random books in a quiet corner of the occult section, or
being yelled at to actually help these cretins called customers.
	"Jason! Customer!"  I was too interested in my book to
care.  "Today!"  Sighing, I got up and walked over to the counter
only to realize it was the blond-haired man I saw in the physics
building.
	I found it hard to speak but I stumbled out a greeting.
"Hi."  I began to pass the books along the scanner.
	"Hey."  He paused and looked at me.  "Didn't I see you in
the physics building the other day."
	I smiled and glanced off to my side avoiding eye contact,
"Yeah, that was me."  It was hard not to look back into his eyes.
Surely there was something there, he had an intense stare, but it
gave a sense of comfort in a way.  He looked towards the computer
screen I was on, finding it needless for me to tell him the
price.
	"I didn't think anybody else worked that late."
	"Funny, that's what I was about to say," I began to become
more comfortable talking as long as he didn't pause.  The most
communication was given when he hadn't spoken a word.  His eyes,
body and his smile showed a lot more than his words.  He paid me
exact change for the books.  He had stopped talking.  I looked behind
him.  Damn it, why couldn't there be someone else in line.
	"Maybe I'll see you around campus," he smiled as he began
to walk out.
	I returned a friendly smile, "Yeah, maybe."  He was almost
completely out the door before I remembered.  "Hey, wait."  He
stopped a looked back.  "Uh, can I ask you your name?"
	"Sure.  It's Marcus."
	"Jason," I responded.  He gave me one last smile and walked
back out.  Well, one of my questions had been answered.  As for
the tough one: "is he gay", I might have the chance to find out.
	Before I knew it work was over and I was free for the rest
of the day.  I felt a lot cheerier than I had hours before.  I
took my time walking back to the apartment.  Things in my life
were coming together, or so I thought.
	"How was work," Steve asked as I walked in the door.
	Without actually thinking of what he just asked, "Hello,
fine, I guess."  My response was always the same: fine.  I was
about to hedge towards the fridge until I realized were still out
of orange juice.
	Steve suddenly spoke up while still in the other room," By
the way I bought some OJ, some bread, and some dental floss."  I
looked over my shoulder perplexed.  Although I couldn't see him
from the kitchen I was still confused.  He never buys the food,
although he does pay for his share.  He certainly wouldn't buy
dental floss; I haven't seen him floss before.  It's not like I
watch him when he brushes his teeth.  At least not all the time.
	I opened up the fridge and grabbed the carton.  As I closed
the door I noticed Steve had walked in and was sitting on the
counter.  He was getting more curious by the second.  He sat
there staring at me and grinning.
	"So," he left a pause in there, "are you going to tell me
who he is?"
	I suddenly realized he knows about Marcus.  I have no idea
how, but he knows.  Still, following the rules of dialogue I
played innocent.  "What?  Who?"
	"Don't play coy.  I was in the bookstore and saw you
talking to him."
	"Spying on me?"
	"Spying, oh please, that is beyond me.  I was just watching
you without you knowing."
	Sarcastically I replied, "Spying."  He sighed admitting
guilty.  "His name is Marcus.  I just met him.  Well, I first saw
him in the physics building, that's all."
	"Nope, I don't buy it."  He hopped down from the counter
and began to walk out. "There's something else going on there,"
Steve spoke smugly, yet playful.  I ignored him and concentrated
on what I was going to write to Justin.  But I was never going to
finish that letter.

OK, people.  That's it for Part 2.  Yes, I left a mysterious
little cliffhanger there for you.  Excited?  Probably not,
considering there wasn't any sex going on in this one.  Don't
worry, you'll get the good stuff soon enough.
	Now, all of you have gotten a daily dose of the WhiteWolf's
stories, write in a tell me what you think at
             WhtWindWif@aol.com