Date: Thu, 18 May 2000 07:23:39 EDT
From: Marc
Subject: Rickt & Me, chapter one "Awakenings", by Marc.......

This story is a work of erotic literature involving teenage boys. All the
usual rules apply. If you shouldn't be reading this now then don't continue
on.  Copyright Notice - Please, this story is Copyright (c) 2000 by
Marcintime, and the author retains all rights. You may distribute, copy,
print, staple or spindle this story however you like, provided this
copyright notice remains intact and you do not change the story in any
way. Also you may not charge any fee to anyone to distribute or access this
story.

Ricky & Me
An Autobiography
Of Our Time together
Chapter One
"Awakenings"

I grew up living in a suburban town about 45 minutes out of Boston. I come
from a good family, and though my parents were busy with their own careers,
they did manage for the most part to be there for me when I needed them.
About the time I was 11 or so I began to realize I was *different* from the
rest of my friends. They were starting to talk to girls and I just wasn't
interested. At the time I really didn't think much about it. In the
sixties, we did not learn about sexuality and it's related issues in
school, and such things were certainly not discussed in the home. It wasn't
an issue my parents were willing to entertain.

As I progressed through Junior High and on to High School the feelings
became stronger and as my friends began full fledged dating, my heart just
wasn't in it. When changing for gym, I would find my self checking out the
field, and I would struggle not to pop a boner. When the guys got together
to compare notes about their (more than likely imaginary) sexual conquests,
I never had any thing to add to the conversation. I would get kidded about
it and as kids are, eventually my silence *to them at least* began to
scream volumes.

After a time of sidelong glares and under-their-breath innuendo I became
aware of out-and-out rumors. Things like "I've never seen HIM with a girl,
he MUST be a queer," and notes pushed into my locker. That kind of stuff.
Kids really can be so cruel.

At first I would just try to shrug it off, thinking to myself, what the
hell do they know, its only talk. I would try and convince my self I'd
start to like girls soon, or tell my self I was only shy. But I knew the
truth and couldn't bring my self to just deny who I was. I felt I had to be
true to my convictions, if not openly then at least to myself. I couldn't
just turn my back on the feelings that made me who I was.

I had never had many friends, the only person I ever hung around regularly
with was Timmy from next door. We had been friends since we were little.

One day, after school some wise ass decided that if Timmy was my friend,
then we just had to be *FRIENDS*, so to prove himself a big, shit for
brains, macho jock, he and a couple of his idiot toadies beat Timmy up.

They hit him because he was my friend!

So now it wasn't only talk any longer! Timmy did not deserve to be hurt!
What they had been saying hurt my, bad !!!!!! But now it went beyond
talk!!!!!!!!

In those days there was no Internet where a person could go for answers or
help. You could not even talk to the school counselors at that time. It
just wasn't done, things such as this were not spoken about in polite
society. I was on my own !!!!!!!!!!!!

Then the shit hit the fan, I went to my best friends house to pick him up,
we were supposed to go somewhere, I don't remember where, His Mom
INTERCEPTED me at the door, at which time she said that my best friend
since I was five years old, of some ten years was not to be seen with me.

When I asked if I'd done something wrong the answer was, " DID SOMETHING
WRONG !!!! YOUR A F----- QUEER AND I DON'T WANT TIM TO CATCH IT. I'M NOT
GOING TO HAVE MY TIMMY BEATEN UP BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!! YOU WILL STAY AWAY
FROM HIM, AND THAT'S FINAL!!!!!!!! And the door slammed shut.

To say the least I was devastated. What was I going to do? Does everybody
know!?!? What am I going to do!?!?!?! Oh shit NOOO !!! WHAT AM I GOING TO
DO ?!?!?!?

I was feeling utterly despondent, I knew I was Gay, but other than getting
an eyeful in the locker room, and a great deal of self satisfaction, (and
never even having been caught at that ). It was all rumors. Rumors that
started at school, and now was spreading all over town. I was feeling like
I was being crushed, utterly destroyed.

To make a long story short, mostly because I don't remember it, I spent
that Friday evening drinking a great deal of vodka and taking a great deal
of my mom's sleeping pills.

I was rudely awakened in the hospital, to find out it was now Tuesday and
to my despair I was still here to have to listen to who has heard the
latest GOSSIP !!!!!!!!!!!!!

All I could was cry. I did not want to deal with any of this. Why me?!?!?!?

After a couple more days in the hospital (my only visitor was my Mom) I was
released on Sunday.

The next day was Monday and I knew all too well what happens on Monday.
School !!!!!!! I did not want to go to school! Not there! Not with those
people! They all knew, and they had my attempted suicide as a total
validation of their rumors. I did not want to go. I couldn't!

I Begged. I yelled! I screamed! I threatened to do it again, and this time
I'd do it right !!!!!!! But when my father said, "You will go to school,
and there will not be any more discussion of the subject" and he then
turned away from me with a look of utter ....................I do not know
what it was for sure, but I can tell you this one thing for sure, it was
not admiration. OH NO, THAT'S IT NOT MY DAD TOO, NOOO! THIS CAN'T BE
HAPPENING.

So I went to school that Monday. My Father drooped me off at the door
himself to make sure I got there. He said not one word to me all the way
there. All that day not one person said one single word to me. Nothing, it
was like I wasn't even there, I was exiled, a non person. I may as well
have died that Friday night. In their eyes, in all their eyes, I was dead.

Now it was Tuesday evening again and also again I was rudely awakened in
the hospital. Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!! God damn it !! Can't I get anything right?

After the judge ordered me to undergo thirty days *observation* and I was
deemed, to be no longer a threat to myself, my Mom saw fit to enroll me
into a private school, where I could start fresh *get put out of sight* and
no one would have to deal with me and my *strange habits* -- especially my
father. After that the only time I ever went back home was for holidays,
and I have never gone into town since.

About a year later my parents sold their home and moved closer to where I
was going to school. Close enough to commute.

When I moved my things into the new house every one was gone, work and all.
But later that evening when my parents both had gotten home they called me
to the parlor. When I arrived there my Mom and Dad were standing there in
the middle of the room, and I stopped in the doorway to look at my feet or
something.

Neither of them said anything at first, but after a moment they both rushed
to me and they hugged he. The only words my dad said was "It's all right
now."

Then we all cried...............

--------------------------//////////////////////////-------------------------

Up until now there were only Two other people who have known this. One was
a very dear friend I met at the boarding school I was exiled to. At the
time he was some sixty years my senior, one of my instructors (((Philosophy
and Latin))). I credit him with giving me a direction in my life, both
academically and with being able to come to terms with my *orientation*. He
made me to understand that the fears and anxieties I had been forced to
deal with (((at too young an age))) were not of my own design, but based
upon the ignorance and uncertainties of those inflicting it upon me. He was
a good friend and he allowed me through his depth of compassion, and his
belief that anyone is capable of reaching their full potential as long as
they are aware of who they are and remain true to themselves. He passed
away in his sleep in 1964, peacefully. I was in my junior year in high
school and his passing left a void in me. I cried then, I cry again ....I'm
crying even now.........

The second person I told was when I was a freshman at Brown University. His
name was Ricky, and he was my first love, my soul mate. It was about two
months into the fall semester, I was doing a research paper based on
"Spinoza's ETHICA TWO ," wow I remember It like it was yesterday. Thinking
about it now after all there years and when I close my eyes I'd swear I can
smell his cologne (Gray Flannel). He was looking for the same treatise I
needed and for the first twenty minutes at the library we mirrored each
others movements like it was planned. First we both checked in at the
security desk. Then at the information counter, there he was. At the card
file we reached for the drawer at the same time (( I made it first )) and
he reached for the handle right over my hand.

Ricky was amazing, 18yrs old and at five feet and ten inches, 155lbs, sandy
blond hair, and deep blue eyes I found it hard to breathe and my hand began
to sweat and tremble, I was a mess. Once we came to the realization that we
needed the same material, he came up with the idea that we collaborate on
this project. It took me about thirty seconds to stutter the word
YES!!!!!!!!!!

Over the next few days we had managed to spend several hours together and
we had started to become friends. The work was due in very soon and we
could see we still had a long way to go, so he invited me to his house for
a cram-session to knock it out. I went over to his apartment, a nice place
over by the school of design, it was one or those old 18'Th century
brownstone colonials. I rang the bell and he buzzed me in. The place was
small but comfortable, and he had his study materials spread out on the
coffee table in front of the sofa. He motioned me to sit down and I staked
out one end of the sofa and I spread out my stuff on the table as well. He
sat down on the other end and we went to work. We spent two and a half
hours debating over this aspect or that and we were not making enough
headway. It was getting late and I said I would have to be going soon as my
first class the next day was at seven a.m. He persuaded me to give it one
more try. I said OK, so we hit the books again. Ricky spasmed with an
enormous yawn and swung around with a small pillow propping his feet on the
arm of the sofa, him holding his sheaf of notes up so he could read
them. After a few more minutes he yawned again and stretched with his free
hand, then putting it under his head.

RIGHT ON MY LAP !!!!

I thought I had been struck by lightning. Every time he had to flip a page
he would remove his hand and then put it back again. I was so nervous I
began to visibly quake, I was gasping for breath and was starting to
sweat. It was awful, It was wonderful. I had no idea what to do. I was
terrified !!!!!! I was reacting. Every time he changed pages he would
return to my lap, only each time he would be a half inch nearer my
crotch. The closer he got the harder I got.

Well, I looked down and I figured three more pages and we were definitely
going to come to a meeting of sorts. The three pages slowly came and one by
one went and on the passing of the third page I thought I was going to
lose it.

As he rested his hand down after turning the last page, he was there! There
were no doubts left in my mind now, when he ground the back of his hand
into my hard on I knew for sure this was no accident !!!!!!!

When I returned to my dorm I was confused, torn by what had just happened.
Was I reading something into this? Did it really happen? Was it just an
accident? We were studying and he might have just been distracted or tired.

I had to find out for sure! There I was 3:30 in the morning, walking to
Ricky's house.

When I arrived at his house I had to knock four or five times before I
managed to rouse him. He opened the door wiping the sleep from his eyes,
and looked like he had seen a ghost. When he had realized that it was me,
he jumped back and nearly fell over a rug when he was backing away *that
was the last time he ever backed away from me* looking like the devil
himself was chasing him down. I rushed forward to steady him when he
started to stumble *just a reflex action really* and that did not help like
I had thought it would. His feet got all tangled in a rug and he went down
on his ass.

I said "what the hell are you doing, I'm not going to hurt you I just want
to talk is all." Finally, after he realized I was not here to commit mayhem
on his person he calmed down. I let myself in and we settled down for a
long nights talk.

At first the conversation was tense to say the least. I asked Ricky what
was going on with us. And to get right to the point, why he was feeling me
up this afternoon.

I felt like shit!!!!!!!! He started crying, he said he was watching me for
a while now trying to find an opening to talk to me. He was in three of my
lectures and when he saw me going to the library he took a chance. As far
as that goes you already know about the study sessions and what got us to
this point. He told me he was attracted to me. And immediately his defenses
went up and I sensed he was going to panic again.

I told him it was all right. Then after a pause, I said, "I know what you
mean" and I moved closer to him, resting my hand on his arm. His mood
softened and then we started talking, to really get to know each other.

I told him about getting outed in high school, and the suicide attempts,
and all the rest about getting ousted from home for a year as well. I told
him about Mr. B. from the academy. About how he would always make himself
available, anytime I needed to talk.

He told me about his teen years growing up in New York City. He said he had
a good home but his folks were always too busy to even notice him for the
most part. He came and went as he pleased. He said he felt he was more of a
burden to his folks social lives than any thing else.

After what seemed like forever, and a split second at the same time we
discovered there was no more to learn about our past. Or was it that now
that we had met, the past just did not mean that much any more?

Ricky, oh my God, he was gorgeous, like one of those statues in a museum
from ancient Greece. Eighteen years old, slender and not too tall, 5-10 to
my 6 ft. sand colored hair, and eyes so blue they seemed to burn a hole
right into your soul. He played racquetball and had the physique to prove
it. Tight, there's no other word to describe it. He moved like a cat, not
feminine at all, but graceful, balanced. He was determined, sure of what he
wanted and sure he was going to get it. He dressed clean and casual.

My babe, he had style.

Myself on the other hand, I also was eighteen, 6ft. 170 lbs. dark brown
hair, green eyes. I cannot really say I was athletic, I liked walking and
backpacking, skiing, and swimming. I can't say I was graceful either, I
could trip just standing still. What he saw in me I couldn't say, he never
told me.

But what Ricky did not say in words spoke volumes to me when he looked into
my eyes and smiled. He reached up with a gentle hand and caressed my cheek
and it electrified me causing a stirring in my groin. Immediately my cock
started climbing up my belly.

He told me he loved me and that was enough. This beautiful young God wanted
me, that was enough for me, and right then that was all that mattered.

We fell into an embrace that I wished would never end. We held each other
tight, I don't think we allowed ourselves enough room to breathe. But I
did, I inhaled his fragrance deeply, I couldn't resist it. He smelled like
the sea after a spring rain, sweet and salty with a hint of ozone. It was
intoxicating like sipping a fine wine while looking at fine art. But I
wasn't looking at a work of art, I was holding one. And he was mine.

And I was his.

We turned into each other and our lips met, tenderly, softly, and almost
cautiously. I inhaled his breath and it was electrifying. I had never
kissed anyone before other than the Mom or other relatives at holidays,*you
know the routine*. It shook me to the core, I was hooked. Ricky leaned into
me a little more and opened his mouth ever so slightly, and I felt his
tongue brush against my lips. He opened a little more and flicked out his
tongue again, quickly as if beckoning me to come even closer. I couldn't
resist him, I didn't want to resist. My lips parted and his tongue entered
my mouth, searching, probing, and eager to learn the map to my heart as
quickly as possible.

And I was just as eager to learn him. To commit every millimeter of him to
memory.  We held that first kiss for ever, yet it ended far too soon, far
too quickly, so I leaned in for another, and yet another still. And with
each kiss I grew more sure of my feelings for my Ricky.

Ricky opened the buttons of my shirt one at a time, slowly almost
reverently, kissing me deeply as he parted my shirt and exposed my smooth
belly and chest. He slid one arm of the shirt over my shoulder and kissed
it, moved up to my neck and then to my ear. While he was nibbling on my
right ear lobe he slid the other arm off and the shirt fell aside.

Then I reached under his shirt and slid it up to expose his firm body to
me. I bent down and began nibbling on his hard nipples first one then the
other. While I was working on Ricky's nips he slid his shirt over his head.

Oh my God!!!!! He was beautiful. Smooth strong, not a blemish on him.

He reached for me and we fell back onto the sofa, taking my lips as though
they were made for him. And I knew then that they were indeed made for him,
only him, forever.

I reached for him with both arms and pulled him even closer, placing kisses
on every part of him my lips could reach. He was intoxicating, rapidly
becoming an addiction. I was rapidly falling helplessly in love with
him. And it felt gooood!!!

Ricky picked himself up slightly and pierced me with those intense blue
eyes. His wonderful smile came soon after, and it was then I knew I was
there. I was all out, fully, totally, completely in love.

I reached up and caressed the back of his neck, and slowly pulled his lips
to mine. We kissed deeply and I ran a hand down the center of his back
feeling those strong muscles dance under his skin. I let it roam further
and reached the band of his sweats, tracing a line with one finger from one
side to another. Then as if it had a mind of it's own, it slid under the
waist band and explored for the treasures within. His butt was firm and
smooth and when I reached to the back of his leg he let out a soft moan. I
got a firm hold and pulled Ricky closer. Then, he shifted himself slightly
and his rock hard cock ground fiercely into mine sending me near to the
edge. I let out a gasp that interrupted our kiss and I quickly dove back in
for more.

Ricky then reached a hand between us and ever so gently traced a finger the
full length of my dick and back. I do not know how he did it but when he
did this he also managed to unfasten my belt at the same time. I was so
tight, if someone stuck me with a pin I would have popped. He reached two
fingers into my jeans and with a flick of his thumb and forefinger opened
the button at the top with a loud snap of his fingers.

That was it! I thought I was going to explode!

I ran my hand over his firm ass once again, and reached with my thumb to
the waste band of his sweat pants and slid them down low on his hips.

He kissed me and said he wanted me. I smiled and kissed him back. Pulling
him close I whispered into his ear, "I want you too." Then I bit his ear
lobe, hard enough to make him gasp.

Ricky sat up taking me by the hand and asked me to join him in bed, he
wanted to make love to me. We left a trail of clothes on to the way as I
let him lead me to what I've known I always wanted.

It was like an out of body experience. This couldn't be happening to me, I
don't deserve this. But it was happening to me. This was real, I was there
walking, in awe of his trim body. Every step he took was likening to a
ballet. His muscles dancing under his skin with each movement. A hero of a
Greek epic poem could not have done him justice.

And he wanted me!

He got to the bed first and slid over to the far side, resting his head on
one hand, reaching for me with the other. I hesitated for a moment, not
because I was unsure, but because I needed to fill my eyes with his
beauty. His smile spoke volumes and each time he spoke, somewhere in the
universe a star was born.

He stretched his hand further ever so slightly, reaching for me and I could
see the hunger in his eyes.

I couldn't hold out any longer, I took his hand, and then I gave my self to
him, and I knew it would be forever........

He pulled me to him and I went happily. I needed to be as near to him as I
could get. I brushed my lips on his cheek savoring the salty sweetness and
his warmth was incredible. He was as if on fire. I let my lips and tongue
slather him with gentle caresses, behind his ear then slowly down his
neck. I held him tight as I worked over his pecks, once again lingering for
a taste of his firm nipples first one then the other. I traced a line down
his belly to his cute little navel, it was an outie and when I nibbled on
it I thought he wood jump out of his skin. I let my tongue explore his sexy
belly button and Ricky squirmed and giggled loudly as I swirled around it.

While I bathed him with my tongue, I let my hand slide down to the brown
patch of hair surrounding the base of his cock which was standing proud and
as hard as an ax handle. I stretched my fingers around the base and cradled
his soft nuggets in them, rolling them back and forth, squeezing them
softly. I then moved down to Ricky's cock and let a gentle puff of air
course over the swollen head. That brought a shiver that wracked his whole
frame, and a huge drop of pre-cum oozed from the slit. I slowly ran my
tongue around the head relishing the sweetness of his early discharge and
then puffed a soft breath on the head again and Ricky let out a soft moan,
and again more pre-cum. I gently squeezed his nads again and at the same
time slid my lips over the head, circling it with my tongue as it did an
erotic virgin dance. I took a deep breath and for the first time in my
life, I took every inch down my throat. It was en incredible sensation and
Ricky nearly bucked off the bed. My throat spasmed and I took a half second
to steady my self and went down for a second try and it was easier. As I
went down on him his hips thrust up to meet me driving himself deeper. I
backed off ever so slowly and Ricky grabbed the sheets to anchor himself to
the bed and let out another moan, only louder this time.

Ricky reached down to my waist and coaxed me into a 69 position. While I
continued to work on the head of his throbbing cock again, he started on me
with his own personal brand of slow torture.

He licked from the head past my balls around once and back again. Once
Ricky started administering his unique brand of justice to me I began to
loose my composure. I started working his tool like it was piecework. Hard
and fast. As I picked up the tempo to this very beautiful dance my partner
had to keep in step.

I was close, so very close. I could feel the beginnings of an orgasm of
biblical proportions gathering in me aching balls and just as I was
beginning to cross the point of no return, he stopped, just for a second or
two, but it was enough. I let out a moan into his Dick that reverberated
all the way to his toes and back. He let out a shrill sound of pleasure him
self and Then he started again with an entirely new rhythm. He was driving
me beyond the threshold of reality.

I was working at a feverous pace to give Ricky the ultimate pleasure, and
I, all at once felt the head of his cock swell and suddenly surge and I
knew now he was very close, I stopped only for a second or two. *hehehe two
can play at that game* And he let out a moan that traveled to my toes.

Quickly, I again steadied my self and took him all the way to the base
once, twice, and again still and I felt his legs tighten and his hips
thrust himself deeper still, he let out a whimper and then rocketed sweet
cum into my hungry mouth. And I tasted of his fine nectar for the first
time. His cum was sweet and musky, like buttermilk and Clorox, I savored
every drop. I wanted more of him........

When it splashed against the back of my throat, I felt a knot form in the
pit of my stomach and it set off a chain reaction. I came with such
intensity, I thought I would shoot my spine through my dick. Ricky was
filling me with his sweet nectar and I swallowed again and again to the
last drop. And Ricky was doing the same, he milked every drop and let out a
sad little sigh when I was spent.

We rested in each others arms. And as a beautiful flower grows and then
blossoms, so did our love that night. I told Ricky I was falling in love
with him and Ricky told me he loved me also.

To Be Continued.................

If you liked this chapter of "Ricky & Me" let me know If you didn't like
it....well let me know that too.........at....Marc@marcintime.com


If you liked this chapter, If you like the story, find more at my website
http://www.marcintime.com, and from there also link to the Teenage Gay Boy
Love Stories Webring where we have gathered authors who write fact and
fiction about teenage male romance. And if you are an author yourself,
please don't hesitate to go to the Webring Signup page at
http://www.teenboyauthors.org/iomfats/ringmaster.htm and submit your own
website for consideration for membership. Our Webring gets in excess of
3,000 hits a week. We must be doing something right! Click here for the
list of TGBL Webring Sites [if your browser does not show this link, simply
visit my website's links page].