Date: Sun, 22 Jan 2006 09:25:18 -0800 (PST)
From: Rex Rush <kingofcroffee@yahoo.com>
Subject: Roomie Mess 2

Thank you all for all your comments and encouragement.  It gave me a push
to keep going and write more.  Kingofcroffee@yahoo.com

The last few days have been like riding on a rollercoaster.  Its more like
when I've been on a certain road in New Mexico.  It's a long straight road
but it has one dip after another.  It goes through dry creeks or arroyos.
It seems like as soon as you get on flat ground again, you fall through
another dip.  I get that funny feeling in my stomach or bladder.  Its an
interesting feeling, at first when I even give a `wooohoo' but then it
starts making me sick.  I could slow down and make it easier to make it
through the dips or stop for a little bit and get feeling better.  There is
something that just keeps me going without slowing, no matter how
uncomfortable I get.

Its almost those same feelings I'm living through with my roommate
Christian.  The days since we messed around and slept together have been
very different.  We don't wake up each morning and realize once again that
we are in love and go skipping to the showers hand in hand.  We also don't
wake up and decide what we have done is an evil and nasty thing and look
for a bridge to jump off.  And even if Christian was the one who was
screwed up in the head at the start of my story, I'm not too sure about me
now.

When we wake up each morning, its like we aren't sure who the other guy is.
We don't talk a lot, usually.  We just quickly get up, clean up and get out
to class.  When we get together sometime in the middle of the day, we start
to get to know each other again.  Usually by the end of the day, we are a
lot more comfortable with each other and enjoy it.  Christian has worked
hard to participate in a whole lot more with me and my buds.  Its actually
more that he has worked hard to accept offers to do more.  We did go watch
the Mavericks on TV at Hooters with a couple of other guys.  And he came
with us to play pool.  He has not been to either one in his life, and not
played pool and I'm not sure he has ever seen a Hooter.

The girls at Hooters would come by and get our orders or bring food.
Christian stared at the lightly dressed girls, I could tell he actually
liked the tight little butts in the tight little orange shorts.  The tits
got his attention.  He never would make eye contact with the girls, he
couldn't even look up when they were right at the table.  He was very quiet
when everybody else was making comments about how pretty the girls were or
how big the tits were and stuff like that.

Christian's pool playing was no where near his shooting ability.  Angles
and spin were not part of his game, unlike his ability to shoot straight.
He did enjoy that evening.  He got talking to one of my best buds.  He is
about the most religious of all my buds, says a prayer before eating and
even before he twists the top off a longneck.  They got talking about
church stuff at first, then a little about religion, but then it was more
normal guy talk, just nice clean guy stuff.

My buds are mostly high school friends or at least guys from my high
school.  There are some who I can barely stand to be around, some who are
pure jerks.  The worst ones are the rednecks, they can't stand anybody
being different.  And the most different you can be is gay.  It's the most
idiotic thing, they hate gay people but its not like anybody is ever going
to try to do anything to them, or with them.  And they sure do talk about
it a lot.  One guy has done stuff with my brother.  I don't think he knows
that I know.  He does have a girlfriend here.

And Christian is just starting to meet the guys in the dorm around us.  He
knows the guys who come into our room all the time but for almost all last
semester, they just knew him as the guy sitting on his bed and reading.
Its not like its all buddy-buddy but finally he is talking to people.

The other morning, while we were both still in our beds, he just says right
out "I don't think we should have done that the other night."

I didn't start arguing with him.  I'm not sure if he's right or wrong.  I
just grunted.  Then about ten minutes later, I asked him what he meant.  He
said that we shouldn't have played with each other naked, played with each
other's penises, and slept together.  I knew for days he was going to say
that, I just didn't know how I was going to react.

I never thought I was gay.  I was always curious to look at another boy's
dick but once I saw it, that was usually good enough.  Lately, I wasn't
even that interested in looking.  I also thought I didn't have a problem
with anybody being gay.  I know my brother is gay.  I do love him, as much
as brothers do.  We have beat the hell out of each other from time to time.
Some of our fights have been destructive, the door frame to our bathroom is
knocked off the foundation and the door doesn't close right.  At other
times, we can spend an entire week being very close together and not give
each other a bit of crap.

When I started writing today, I thought I was going to write about
Christian and how he had changed and things he said.  The more I write, the
more I realized that I really don't know what is going on in his head.  I
also have found out that I'm not real sure what is going on in my head.

Like I said, I never thought I was gay but now maybe I am.  I never had the
thoughts about chasing dick like I had chasing pussy. I would fall asleep
thinking about rolling around in bed with a girl.  I would sit in class or
ride in a car and think about stripping a girl down and sucking on nipples.
When I would think about something while jacking off, it was mostly about
fucking a girl.  However, almost every sexual thought I have had in the
last few days have been about Christian or some other boy.  I have thought
about just laying together side by side and jacking off together, making
the greatest use of the other boy's rhythm to enhance my own stroke.  I
have thought about fucking another man but being face to face and not
really thinking about the mechanics down below.  I know that doesn't make
sense but it somehow works in my head.

I have also had a huge craving to feel Christian's body against mine.  Not
just at night when I have thought about jumping over into his bed and
snuggling in with him.  Its like I need to feel the warmth of his chest on
mine.  My memory of that night is that our skin almost melted together as
we slept.  My arms were filled with his body and he wrapped me up
completely.  Our legs tangled up and felt like they were in the exact right
place and position.  I bone up every time I think about where my dick was
enveloped by our bodies and the feeling of his dick against me.  My mind
wandered so far into that memory during chemistry class the other day that
when I did return to the lecture, I was afraid that my boner was attracting
all the attention in the room.  It had all my attention.

There is another desire in my head and that is to please Christian.  I want
to make sure he comes, that his orgasm is wild and strong.  I know I'm
supposed to give a girl an orgasm too but sometimes I just can't, or won't.
I once fucked a girl and I cumed and was finished before she got her
underwear off completely.  She thought I was getting up to let her pull her
panties off.  I was getting up to zip my jeans and go get another beer.
Now, I think about Christian.  I envision his face when he cums, I want to
see that scrunched up face as it builds and that gasp when he shoots.  I
want to feel his hot cum surge through his dick and splash all over me.  I
want to see him collapse after cuming and want me to meld into him.

I also think about the possibility of having his dick in my ass.  Up until
now, I have never gone very far with that idea.  I just couldn't imagine me
getting fucked like that.  I have seen my own brother on both ends of it
but even that never had me thinking of me being on the bottom.  (Speaking
of my brother, the one time I witnessed him getting fucked was minutes
after I had fucked a girl in the same bed.  It was at a family reunion type
thing, but that has to be a different story and a different category of
story.)  Now I just see myself in my dorm room bed, butt naked, legs
stretched up in the air, Christian kneeling on the bed, and sliding his
massive dick in me slowly.

That is also a place that gives me another thought.  One that actually
bothers me.  I worry about that massive meat busting my ass.  I can imagine
the sexual contact and even our balls banging together, I really want to
feel that.  But I have a hard time imagining being open and big enough to
take his dick.

That idea leads to another.  I know my dick isn't huge.  I thought of it as
pretty average.  I never did hide when I showered with other guys, or was
embarrassed to show it when around my friends.  Now I wonder if Christian
thinks I'm too small.  When I think about it, I know there is no way that
he thinks that.  I don't even know how many dicks he has seen, but I know
mine is the only one he has ever touched.  Its just one of those thoughts
that makes me want to think about something else immediately.  Even if
Christian doesn't think that, I wonder if I really am small.  I look so
small compared to his meat.  If not the length, then the diameter is too
small.  The several times I've jacked since then, m hand feels like its
wrapping around such a small dick.  I was always happy with my 5 incher.

I just deleted about 7 paragraphs from the end of this.  I thought I was
through and was going to send it until Christian and I went to dinner.
Things changed during the night.

Christian had been out Saturday afternoon and I was the one who stayed
around the dorm.  He showed up ready to just go to the cafeteria in the
dorm for dinner.  I was in the mood for something with a little more
flavor, a little more heat, and I practically begged Christian to go with
me to Hooters.  It really didn't take much to convince the boy, he has
decided that Hooters is his favorite restaurant.  "It has good things to
look at!", he says with his big grin that just makes his cheeks glow even
more.

Its been a little strange lately.  Christian and I have been talking more
but avoid talking about some important stuff.  The conversation as I drove
over was easy but it was getting to be about sex as we talked about the
girls at Hooters and one in particular who seemed to flirt all night with
Christian the last time we went.  We finally got a place to sit, it was
cranked up, good b-ball games had been on earlier and we were also there at
dinner.  We ended off in the corner, not quiet but kind of separated from
most everything else.  We had a big order of wings with the 3 mile island
sauce.  I don't even remember what we were talking about when he laughed so
hard just as he bit into a wing that it made the sauce smear across his
cheek.  I just reached out with a finger and wiped it off his face.

Such a simple little act, and touch of finger to cheek, but it was an
action that changed the course of the night.  His cheek felt so soft and
warm.  The feeling that flowed from my hand reminded me of the night we
slept so close, with naked bodies pressed so close together.  I don't know
if it was my reaction or if he felt something too, but his expression
changed.  Our eyes locked on to each other's and for a moment we were
frozen in time and place.  It was just a hand on a face, but it was
something that men don't do.  It was a trigger.

The conversation that was smooth and rolling during the evening was now a
stumbling and halting struggle.  It was the same topics and the same
thoughts but it wasn't the thing on our minds.  We paid and got out of
there.  As I was driving back, Christian said to me, "I probably shouldn't
have said that the other day."

I wasn't sure what he meant and asked him about it.  He said it was when he
was waiting for me to wake up and told me that we shouldn't have done what
we did the other night.  I was trying to find the right way to ask what he
really meant.  Was it that what we did was wrong, or was it that he now
thought it was ok?  I recognized that there was a turning point in my life,
and his hinging on what we were about to talk about.  My pulse was racing,
I could feel muscles tighten especially around my shoulders and neck.  The
conversation was just starting.  I don't remember missing the turn back to
the dorm and I don't remember driving out to the highway.  All of a sudden
we were going 30 miles an hour in a 70 mph zone.

I drove a little longer before I found an old farm road that I could turn
off on.  I kept going until I had to stop and look at him.  Christian had
gone through nearly hyperventilating to growling, from excitement to regret
to compassion to lust.  Even if it was just a few hours ago, I can't write
it like I need to explain it.  I keep writing his words but they don't
carry the meaning as he spoke them.

Christian explained to me how he was brought up, that he was to accept
people and who they are.  He knew some people were gay, but he thought of
it as simple as being black or white, Hispanic or Swedish.  He said he
never felt so good as when we were jacking together, and never so warm when
we slept in each other's arms.  Then, the days that followed, he never felt
so guilty and wrong.  I was hurting.  I have a bad habit of squeezing my
arm or leg hard when I get upset.  Only my family members have been the
only people to really noticed it.  As I was starting to inflict a bruise on
my upper arm, Christian took my hand away and told me not to hurt myself.

His hand wrapped around mine.  I could feel the dampness from him wiping
his tears.  It was firm yet with very soft skin.  I felt cold and even
shivering.  His hand felt 20 degrees hotter.  I pulled my hand back toward
me but that just pulled our bodies together.  It the glow of the dashboard
lights, I looked into his eyes.  I could feel his breath of my face.  As
his lips moved as he talked, I could feel my lips moving in a sympathetic
response.  And it drew my face to his.

I could hear his words no longer.  I closed the last inches and placed my
lips on his.  I felt a bolt of lightning slam completely through me.  I
tasted hot wings on his lips.  I breathed in his hot breath.  His lips were
full and soft.  Our tongues met and began a wild dance in our mouths.  The
kisses kept getting deeper and hotter.  I think I forgot to breathe and I
gasp for breath and our cheeks pressed together.  My hand was wrapped
around his and squeezed the blood from it.  When he pulled it free, he
placed in on my shoulder and began to rub it.  My hand found his body and
slid along down to his hips and over his butt.

I dove make in for more kissing.  I could feel the heat rise in the car but
I was still shivering.  Christian's hand slid inside my shirt.  He gently
rubbed my chest, and squeezed.  As his fingers pinched my nipple, I made
some loud exclamation.  Hell, I just about screamed.  That made Christian
laugh and that made me laugh.  It was enough that the entire car was
shaking with our laughter.  All my buttons came open and his hand was free
to roam all over by bare chest.  I had to pull his up from his waist and
get my hands on him.  I pinched and caressed his nipples to return the
pleasure.  They were harder than any girl I had ever felt up.

I had my hand roaming all up and down him, as much as I could reach.  His
hand followed.  As my hand slid over his zipper, he moaned and went for
mine.  I couldn't stay still and I bucked up and down as his hand found my
boner.  His large hand embraced my dick and moved down to give a little
love to my balls.  When I regained enough control to return the caressing,
my hand slid over his bare belly and over his belt.  I felt a hot wet
fleshy bit at the top of his jeans and my hand went back to explore.  Out
of the top of his jeans was the tip of his dick head. already wet with
precum.  I shakily said, "oh my god, its huge."  Christian laughed.

After a few more minutes, I said we needed to go back to where we could do
more.  I started up the car, got it turned around without going into the
ditch and tore up the road going back.  We were both adjusting ourselves
but barely spoke.  When we got to the dorm, I was ready to pull up into the
loading zone parking just to get out and up to the room as quickly as I
could.  There was a car leaving right by the door but it seemed like it was
taking forever to move back.  I honked the horn to try to speed him up and
got the finger in return.

As I got out and started walking to the dorm, I could feel my lips
tingling.  I figured people could tell just by looking at them that I had
been kissing.  I was still shaking but I could also feel the sweat on my
back and under arms cooling off quickly in the cold night air.  I was doing
all I could to hide the rock hard boner in my pants.  Since I was a young
teen, I had gotten good at hiding my boner by the way I walked or staying
behind things at least waist high.  When I looked at Christian's boner, I
thought the only way to disguise that was stand behind his Rav4.

The door to our room had barely closed when I pulled my shirt over my head
and stepped out of my shoes.  I watched Christian's naked chest appear as
his shirt was pulled over his head.  I stepped into him and hugged him so
that I pulled as much of him against me.  His soft naked skin just melt me
and took me into his body.  I could feel his heart beating as fast I mine
had ever gone.  Our breathing started to match, and that allowed our
bellies and chest to stay firmly against each other's.

We began to kiss again.  He has about 4 inches of height on me and I looked
up to meet his lips.  It was easy to kiss down his chest and find his
nipple.  It was puffy, almost like boy's get when they hit that period in
puberty (one of my nightmares and probably another story).  The nipple
itself was still hard and pointy.  When I surrounded it with my lips,
Christian shivered and his knees weakened and he fell back into his bed.  I
was free to move from his lips to his nipples.  He was loving the attention
I was giving his nipples.

I moved my mouth down to his belly button.  A little tongue tickle in it
was more than he could stand.  It was the first time my tongue went into a
belly button and I was thinking of doing a little more first time
exploring.  When he couldn't stand the tickling, my tongue followed his
happy trail down to the top of his jeans.  That had his hips humping in
air.  I worked to undo his belt and unbutton his jeans.  As I pulled the
zipper down, the scent in his jeans hit me.  His scent is hot, meaty and
sexy.  After all day after his shower, he didn't smell clean but it wasn't
nasty at all.  I could smell cum, a little old.  His precum smelled sweet
and clean.  It was an aroma that I had become familiar with.  It smelled
like our dorm room, without my contribution.  It smelled like morning.

I didn't move my mouth to his dick as he stepped out of his jeans.  My
hands rubbed all over the outside of his underwear.  It would have been
easy to just slip my hand inside but there was something extremely sexy
about leaving his underwear on and working it that way.  My hands followed
his big boner and cupped and squeezed his balls.  I reached around and
grabbed handfuls of his butt.  It was skinny and flat but still filled my
hands.  Christian's hand were pushing the top of my pants down.  They
weren't going anywhere until I stood up and then as soon as cleared my
hips, they dropped to the floor and I battled my way out of them.

I crawled on top of Christian.  I made sure our boners lined up and was
grinding them together.  Our chests were pressed together hard. Our lips
kissed, our tongue tangled.  I knew I could cum at any second but fought
it.

We stayed in our underwear for awhile.  I was enjoying the feel.  When I
was on my back, Christian sat up and he pulled my underwear down.  Slowly
at first, letting my boner get stuck in the waist band and bounce back hard
when it slid all the way under.  Once my balls cleared my underwear,
Christian didn't take any time at all to pull them off the rest of the way.
He stayed kneeling next to me and he explored me.  His hands were gently
and firm as he felt my dick and balls.  He handled them I like he had never
seen anything like them.  He felt and played with the piss slit, the veins
running through my dick, and weighed and caressed each ball.  I felt so
good in his hands that I didn't want to move.

When he started to stroke my dick, I knew I had to move quickly.  I was so
close to cuming that if he did much stroking, I would explode and I wasn't
quite ready for that.  I grabbed a handful of his underwear and pulled it
up to me.  He got the idea and we worked it down and off his feet.  His
boner seemed to hover over me.  As his balls were touching the tip of my
dick, the tip of his dick was about in the middle of my chest.

He lowered his body and slowly his balls laid on top of mine.  They felt so
hot and sweaty.  My dick bent upward as his boner pressed down on mine.  We
tangled all up, kissing and rubbing.  Our hips were humping.  We were so
close that it felt like my dick was inside of him.  I felt his precum
building on my belly and my own dick was sliding through it.  We rolled
back and forth a little but we kept humping.

Christian warned me.  He squeaked that he was about to cum.  He balls were
no longer on mine.  I felt his entire body tense up.  I tightened up like I
was about to cum myself.  He slammed into me as I felt hot streams of cum
explode out of his dick.  I was humping hard and fast and before he had
shot his last cum, I started shooting.  Christian's weight was pressed down
on my dick as I was shooting.  It felt so awesome and was one of the best
cums I have ever had.

I couldn't move.  I didn't want to move, and I wanted Christian to stay
right where he was.  I was wet with sweat, cum all over my belly, breathing
hard, and my heart was pounding.  My hands were gripping his butt. And we
both giggled.  I don't remember falling asleep, the last thing I remember
was Christian pulling his blanket up and over the two of us.

I woke up, probably several hours later, and we were on our sides.  My
whole backside was naked and uncovered.  As I tried to scoot over under the
blanket, I felt his dick poking me.  He was boned up again.  I was too, at
least by the time I noticed.  I could tell he was asleep, he does a little
quiet snore when he is actually asleep.  I slipped down.  My head going
under the blanket.  The smell of cum and hot bodies was enough to knock me
out.  I took deep breaths to take it in.  I wrapped a hand around his dick
and held it while I built the courage to do it.

I finally just went for it.  I took his dick head into my mouth.  It was
greasy, hot, and cummy.  I didn't want to start sucking so hard that it
would wake him up.  I pushed my head down on his boner so that it hit the
back of my throat.  I could feel his silky wavy pubes on my lip.  I was
amazed at how big his piss tube felt in my mouth.  I got to really like the
taste of his dick.  I know I had to be tasting some of my own cum.  He
never woke up and I returned to sleep side by side, under the blanket.

Morning started out easy.  I was very hard with my normal morning boner and
Christian was as big as ever.  My hips were moving slightly.  I also needed
to piss in a hurry.  My head was on his chest and I found his nipple and
sucked on his slowly.  As we both woke up, a quick kiss between us had us
agreeing not to kiss, at least not until we got rid of morning breath.  Our
humping hips turned into jacking ourselves off.  I was mashed against the
wall and Christian.  I was making a thun thun thun thun sound as I was
stroking but his was more like whump boom whump boom.  He cumed pretty
quick and he watched me jack.  He even put his hand out to catch the cum I
oozed out.

We stayed in bed for about another hour, doing a little talking, and a
little caressing and rubbing.  I kept playing with his pubes. He has gone
off to church.  He ran in and out of the shower and when he came back, he
rubbed my leg as he told me what he was going to do today.  I got up, ate
ever sausage biscuit we had in the fridge and sat down to write this.  I
know I should go shower, I'm sure I smell and I can't just blame it on the
underwear that I slipped on.  And those aren't even mine.

I know this was all messed up with the story.  I wanted to write about
Christian and the way he was thinking and then wrote about my thoughts.
Then I deleted a bunch of what I wrote because it didn't sound sane after
what happened last night.  I hope it was still good enough that people read
it.  Thanks if you are still reading.  Kingofcroffee@yahoo.com