Did you ever stop to consider why most of the world’s
population wants to live by the sea? There’s something about
walking along the warm sand, getting your bare feet wet, feeling the
sun’s rays and cool air that sparks something in you. You are
energized and inspired. You can work, play, talk, laugh, cry, love,
despair, think and feel by the sea like nowhere else on earth.
Chapter One - Ray and Tom
The boys jogged easily at the edge of the surf. They had just
completed their first year at the State University and moved out of
the freshman dormitory into a two-bedroom condominium at the
beach. Through the generosity of their parents, the condo was to be
their home for the summer and the balance of their university career,
if they desired. They shouldn’t have had a care in the world.
Long, lean, muscular and handsome, clad only in swimming trunks, the
pair turned many heads as they moved down the beach. With their looks
and wealth, they had the world by the tail, or so it would have
Tom had worn a frown since they hit the beach and Ray watched him
with a worried expression. Being extremely sensitive to his
brother, Ray could stand the negative vibes no longer. “Why so
glum chum?” he said, trying to sound cheerful. “We moved
into our own place two days ago and we’re finally on our own,
for the first time in our lives.”
Without altering his stride, or erasing the frown, Tom countered, “Do
you realize that this is the first time in our lives we’ve had
“Yeah, but we’ll sleep together like we always have.”
“Then why did we buy a two-bedroom condo? It wasn’t Mom
and Dad’s idea.”
“For guests, silly,” Ray said, incredulous.
They continued to jog for a few more steps, their feet splashing in
the surf, when Tom asked quietly, “Is Linda coming over
tonight?” Ray and Linda had met and begun dating six months
ago. They were currently going out together at least twice a week.
“Yes!” Ray said emphatically. “This will be the
first time we’ve been on a date without having to hunt for
privacy.” He wasn’t kidding. Until now, he had lived in
the dorm with Tom and she still lived with her parents near the university.
“You mean you need a make-out place,” Tom said with a
strained wry grin.
“You said it,” Ray returned his grin. “It’ll
be nice to kiss her somewhere beside the back row of a movie theater
or the back seat of a car.”
“But, I’ll be there.”
“Oh, uh, well, we’ll use my bedroom.” Tom picked up
the pace sharply and Ray sprinted to keep up.
“Is she going to stay the night?” Tom asked quietly.
“Not very likely. Her folks will expect me to bring her home at
a reasonable hour. But we’ve talked about how we can arrange
for her to stay over.”
“You’re getting serious about her, aren’t you?”
Tom asked, not looking at Ray. “You’ve dated her longer
than any other girl.”
“I guess so. I hadn’t really thought about it,” Ray
Tom slowed their pace to a walk. “Ray, do you enjoy having sex
“Yeah, I do,” Ray answered shyly, somewhat uncomfortable.
He had never hidden the fact that he had a sexual relationship with
Linda, but he hadn’t discussed it with Tom either. “How
did you know that we’d had sex?”
Tom barked out a laugh. “Oh I don’t know, maybe it was
the pack of condoms and the motel receipt on the dressing table.”
Ray gave an embarrassed cough and laugh. “I never could hide
anything from you, could I?” Tom didn’t respond to his
ironic humor. “Look, you’re upset about something. Spit
it out.” Tom said nothing. “Is it the fact that I have
sex with Linda?” Tom nodded. “Well, you’ve never
said anything about it before.”
“That’s because you always came home to me,” Tom
retorted. He stopped walking and stared at the sand.
“And I’ll still be home with you,” Ray said, a hint
of frustration rising in his voice.
Tom looked into Ray’s eyes. “Look, it’s just that I
can’t stand the thought of you having sex with her under the
same roof with me.”
Ray rolled his eyes. “I can see where this is going Tom. I told
you years ago that I wasn’t gay.”
Tom looked evenly at Ray and asked, “Then why do you have sex
Ray was taken aback. They had never broached this topic before, even
thought about it until now, but apparently, Tom had. Ray’s face
flushed and he looked around him, as if for an escape from this
conversation. “Aw gee, come on.”
“No Ray,” Tom said softly, placing a hand on Ray’s
shoulder, “Answer me, please.”
Ray cast about for words he’d never strung together to make the
thought. “Well, because we always have. We’ve slept in
the same bed for nineteen years. We’ve always done everything
together. We’re twins.”
Tom’s eyes remained locked on to his brother’s. “You
left out one important component: we love each other. But I’ll
let that pass for now. The main point is that we’re not only
twins, we’re identical twins with the same identical DNA. We’re
closer kin than we are to our parents. We not only look alike, we
think alike, we are alike in every specific detail, and we have the
same sexuality. We played around with sex when we were little, but we
became lovers when we were twelve.”
Ray didn’t know how to answer that, so he countered, “Would
you rather I was dating another guy?”
Tom didn’t break eye contact, but softened his words. “I’d
be hurt, but I would understand it if you fell in love with
The word “love” suddenly rang true to Ray. They had never
spoken of their love for each other. He wondered why. He didn’t
have an answer, so he tried changing the topic. “Tom, do you
realize this is the first argument we’ve ever had?”
Tom sat down on the dry sand and dug his feet into it. “Yeah,
it is. We’ve always been reasonable and worked things out
without an argument.” He smiled up into his twin’s face.
“And I’m trying to reason with you. We’re so much
alike we can almost talk without speaking. So I know this much
about you; I could tell if you were really in love with another guy,
and I would give you to him willingly because I love you and I want
you to be happy. I could even get used to the idea of you making love
in the bedroom next to mine.” And, he added so softly that Ray
barely heard him, “If you really loved another guy enough to
make a lifetime commitment to him, I could get used to the idea that
you would never share my bed again.”
Ray joined his brother on the sand. He was emotionally shaken to the
point of tears. New ideas and feelings were waking within him. He
picked up a handful of sand and let it run through his fingers trying
to find the courage to verbalize the next point that had to be
discussed. “You’re saying that you don’t think I’m
in love with Linda.”
“I know you’re not, because you can’t be. You’re
gay, like me.”
“Tom, you’re right, I do love you. Because you’re
my brother, my twin. We’re as close as two people can be. But,
you say you’re gay and I say I’m straight. One of us is
Ray looked at his twin sadly and forebear giving him the obvious
retort. Instead, he took Ray’s hand and said wearily, “Yes,
and the truth will reveal itself sooner or later.”
Ray’s frustration bubbled to the surface. He dropped Tom’s
hand and dug his feet into the sand fiercely. “Shit Tom! I’m
so confused! We should have worked this out years ago.”
Tom stood up and brushed the sand away. “Yep, you’re
right about that. We’re at a real sticking point.” He
turned to his brother and said firmly but not unkindly, “I love
you more than life itself. And I want us to work this out before it
tears us apart.” He took a deep breath and continued, “But
this is how I feel; I like Linda; she’s a nice girl, but I
can’t stay in the condo while you make love to her. When she
arrives tonight I’ll leave you two alone.”
Suddenly, it hit Ray that their lives were about to change. And he
didn’t feel like it was his fault. His anger at his brother
flared and he choked the unfamiliar feeling back. “Oh come on!
This is bullshit! Where will you go? What will you do? Are you trying
to lay a guilt trip on me?”
Tom replied calmly, “No, I’m not laying guilt on you.
I’ve explained reasonably how I feel.” He then managed an
odd smile. “It’ll be an arrangement, like roommates in
the dorm: one guy vacates the room while the other smuggles his date
in for the evening.”
Ray stood up and brushed himself off thinking about it. “Okay,
if that’s the way you want to play it.”
There was no more to say now, so they left the beach and made their
way back to the condo just as the sun was setting. They took separate
showers, an unusual event in their lives, and dressed in their
Ray entered the kitchen as Tom popped the top on a can of Coke. “I
was thinking of making spaghetti for dinner. What kind of sauce
do you want with it? Linda likes sun dried tomato.”
Tom chugged half the Coke and smiled. “Go with the sun dried
tomato then. I’ll grab dinner somewhere while I’m
out. I thought I’d make a full evening of it.”
Ray looked a bit hurt. “But, spaghetti is one of your favorite
dishes. And, I was gonna crack a bottle of that five year-old
Tom placed his hands on his brother’s shoulders and smiled into
his eyes. “Bro, you both want to be alone tonight here in the
new place. So, I’m going to let you enjoy it.” He kissed
Ray on the forehead and pinched his cheek.
Ray grinned. “Okay, but you’ve got to promise me you’ll
have a good time yourself.”
Tom winked, picked up his car keys and left.
He drove downtown and had a delicious dinner at an upscale
restaurant. He savored the various courses, but remembered the times
his twin had shared the experience with him. He lingered over a last
glass of wine, holding the goblet at eye level. Studying the rich
color of the liquid, he recalled how identical his tastes were to
Ray’s, in food, clothes, music, art. They even liked the same
kind of people. Were their similar preferences culturally
inspired or because of their identical DNA? Having no answer to the
question, he drained the glass and left the restaurant with a hollow
feeling in his stomach, as if he hadn’t eaten.
The cool night air cleared his head, but not his confusion. He needed
a diversion and thought he might find it at the movieplex a block
away. Even with sixteen movies playing, he found that the last
showing had begun for all but two. He picked one that they had talked
about seeing. They? “Shit,” he thought, “forget
about him and enjoy it on your own.” And he did. It was a
comedy and cheered him up considerably.
Walking back to his car, he checked his watch. Five minutes past
midnight. Ray should have driven Linda home by now, or at least be on
his way back.
He smiled when he saw Ray’s car in the garage. He parked his
identical Lexus next to it and let himself into the condo. One lamp
glowed dimly in the living room. He was thirsty and made his way
through the dining room to the kitchen. The spicy odor of pasta sauce
hung in the air. Flicking the light on in the kitchen, he smiled when
he noticed that it was spotless. Both he and Ray were obsessively
clean. As he opened a bottle of water, he chuckled thinking that no
matter how horny Ray was, he wouldn’t leave the kitchen a mess
to have sex first. “Should I take a shower before I go to bed?”
he wondered. He sighed, running the cool water bottle over his face.
He shivered contemplating the familiar touch of Ray’s skin
next to his, the scent of his musk and the taste of his lips.
His dick rock hard in his jeans, he killed the light in the kitchen
and made his way back to the bedrooms. “To hell with the
shower,” he thought, giggling to himself, “I’m
ready for my lover.” He giggled again remembering how horny Ray
was when he came home from a date with Linda. “How does he have
enough stamina to have sex twice in one night? Could I do that?”
He didn’t know. He had never had sex with anyone but Ray. Never
He had just eased open the door to his bed room when he heard a
noise. He straightened and turned. There it was again. He turned to
the door to Ray's room. He heard it again. This time it was clear, a
woman’s voice moaning in ecstasy. His heart squeezed, his blood
ran cold and every hair on his body stood on end.
She was still there!
Blood pounding in his temples, he entered his bedroom and emptied his
gym bag. He threw a change of clothes and his usual toilet articles
into it, pulled his bedroom door closed and left the condo. He drove
back downtown and checked into the first hotel he saw. It was nice
enough. “Probably better than that motel where Ray fucked
Linda,” he thought bitterly as he surveyed his room.
God, but he felt lonely!
His heart was still pounding and his nerves were still on edge, so,
minutes later, he found himself back in the lobby heading toward the
bar. “It’s closed sir,” a polite voice said. He
turned to look at the young man at the registration desk. “Sorry.
It closes at midnight.”
Tom frowned in annoyance and approached the desk. “Is there
another bar nearby that might be open?”
The young man studied Tom for a few seconds. “Yes sir. There’s
one down the street that you might enjoy that’s open until
two.” He looked at his watch and took a deep breath. “I
get off in five minutes. I can show you where it is.” Tom
smiled, giving the man the courage to continue. “Would you
like some company? If I may be so bold, you look like you could use
some cheering up.”
Tom readily agreed. The young man introduced himself as Barry, and
then disappeared behind a curtain, reappearing a few minutes later
wearing a university letter jacket. This was the perfect icebreaker
for them. They left the hotel discussing their university status,
classes and majors. Barry was pre-law, two years ahead of Tom and on
the swim team. Once inside the bar, they ordered drinks and settled
at a table. Barry favored Tom with a wide grin and said, “Okay,
what is a university student doing checking in to a hotel, alone, on
a Friday night looking like he just lost his dog?”
Tom laughed and sipped his drink. “My brother invited his
girlfriend over for the night and I’m giving them some space.”
Barry smiled. “That’s very generous of you. Bet you would
have liked to have had your own date over instead, huh?”
Tom frowned and looked into his glass. “Yeah, I sure would
Barry realized he had touched a sore spot and quickly changed the
subject. He looked around the room and said, “Looks like a nice
Tom surveyed the room for the first time and his eyes went wide. All
the patrons were men. Some of them were holding hands or dancing
together. He looked back at Barry and exclaimed, “This is a gay
The smile instantly vanished from Barry’s face. “Uh,
yeah. Uh, sorry. Please don’t be upset. I just assumed that you
were gay. We can leave if you’re uncomfortable,” he said
lamely, starting to get up.
Tom motioned him back into his chair. “It’s all right.
I’m gay. It’s just that I’ve never been in a gay
bar before.” Barry sat down with a huge sigh of relief. Tom
smiled wickedly at him. “I assume since you brought me here
that you’re gay too.”
“As a goose. But, I just came out recently, so I haven’t
dated many men.”
Tom cocked an eyebrow at him. “Well, it seems that you should
have plenty of opportunity, working at a hotel and being so
close to a gay bar.”
Barry’s face went red and he studied his drink. “Yeah,
you would think so, but I’m kind of shy. I don’t know how
I had the courage to approach you tonight.” He glanced
appreciatively at Tom. “Yeah, I do too. You seemed so nice
and you looked so lonely. And you’re a hunk. I just couldn’t
pass you up,” he finished with a shy grin.
It was Tom’s turn to blush. “Well, you’re not so
bad yourself. You’re a nice guy, and you were kind enough to
try to cheer me up.”
Barry slowly reached across the small table and took Tom’s
hand. Tom looked down. The hand felt warm and soothing, yet strong.
He glanced up at Barry. The boy was strong and shapely. He studied
Barry’s face. It wasn’t handsome; it was beautiful. And
it carried a kind expression. Barry cleared his throat. “I’d
like to do more than just cheer you up.” Then, he squeaked out,
“Could we spend the night together?” His fingers closed
around Tom’s tightly.
Tom’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “Let’s go back to
the hotel,” he breathed.
Five minutes later Tom closed and locked the door to his room. Barry
drew him into his arms and a tender kiss that quickly turned
passionate. They continued to kiss as they undressed each other.
Soon, they were naked on the bed, whispering endearments in between
kisses. Barry rolled on top and smothered his lover’s face and
ears with kisses, while Tom stroked the taught muscles of Barry’s
back. Their passion was evident as their rampant cocks ground
together. Tom rolled Barry on his back and attacked his nipples,
suckling first one, then the other before making his way to the boy’s
throbbing dick. Pre-cum oozed from its excited tip. Tom laved it
hungrily and swallowed the whole prize. Barry worked his way around
to claim Tom’s member.
They labored slowly, and in unison, bringing each other close to
orgasm, then backing off, savoring their sweet mating to the highest
degree. In the end, human longing prevailed and they rewarded
each other with streams of male nectar. They cuddled, kissed and
petted, then sank into deep satisfied sleep.
When the car horn sounded at eight o’clock, Ray kissed Linda
good-bye and waived as she drove off with her friend Kathy. He wore a
self-satisfied smile. After dinner last night—which Linda had
enjoyed very much—they had decided to call her parents and tell
them that he would take her to Kathy’s house to spend the night
so she and Kathy could go shopping early this morning. And, the ploy
Humming to himself, Ray made his way quietly back into the condo. He
made the bed in his room and opened the windows to let the scent of
their love making drift out into the morning air. Tom’s door
was still closed. Ray knew he would be a little pissed that Linda had
stayed over, but he would make him a delicious breakfast and take him
to bed to make things right. He stroked the erection in his pants and
headed for the kitchen with a chuckle.
Tom woke as he usually did, with his head on his lover’s
shoulder. He wanted to wake up every morning like this for the rest
of his life. He breathed a contented sigh and hugged his partner
closer. But, something was wrong. He jolted awake and sniffed the
shoulder. It didn’t smell like Ray. He let his fingertips glide
over his lover’s chest, feeling the muscles and soft hair
pattern. It didn’t feel like Ray. “Good morning,” a
soft voice purred. It didn’t sound like Ray.
He pulled back and looked into Barry’s smiling eyes. Tom
blinked and then remembered. He relaxed and burrowed his head under
Barry’s chin. “Oh man,” he thought, “Talk
about new experiences! I’ve met another boy, had sex with him
and spent the night with him all in one day.” He chuckled
quietly and let the thoughts run free. “Man, when I get
started, I don’t do anything half way.”
Barry broke his reverie. “Tom, it’s after nine o’clock
and housekeeping will be here shortly.” He kissed Tom’s
hair and stroked it. “As wonderful as it is to snuggle with
you, we’d better get up.”
Barry’s stomach picked that moment to rumble, sending them into
fits of laughter. Tom gave Barry a quick kiss on the lips. “Okay,
let’s take a shower and then get something to eat.” The
shower lasted much longer than they expected. As they washed each
other, their ardor renewed and they made love once again.
Tom packed his bag and they descended to the lobby. He checked out at
the desk and ushered Barry into the hotel’s restaurant. After
they had ordered, Barry broached the subject uppermost in his
mind. “Tom, like I told you last night, I don’t sleep
around. Hitting on you was a hunch that you wouldn’t just be a
one night stand. And, I was right. You’re a keeper. What I’m
trying to say is, I would really like to see you again. Often.”
Barry’s soft brown eyes beguiled Tom. He smiled wistfully. “I
like you very much. Last night was wonderful.”
Barry broke in excitedly, “Then you’ll see me again?”
“It depends on how things work out with my brother.” He
really did like Barry. He felt that they shared something more than
sex last night. Therefore, he knew he must tell the boy the truth,
the whole story. He began the tale as their food was served.
By nine o’clock Ray had a good start on breakfast. He was
preparing eggs Benedict. He had toasted the English muffins, sliced
the Canadian bacon, and whipped up the Hollandaise sauce. Now,
the water was boiling for the eggs. He decided to wake Tom before he
poached them however. Eggs Benedict should be served fresh.
On his way to the bedroom, he checked the dining table. Beautiful!
The silver, crystal and flatware were set perfectly. He whipped off
his T-shirt, adjusted his half-hard dick in his jeans and knocked
softly on Tom’s door. Peeking in, he sang, “Wake up
Then, his heart froze in his chest. Blood pounding, he raced back to
the kitchen and burst through the door to the garage. A dozen
questions shot through his mind, two of which flashed red: Did he
leave because Linda spent the night? Was he angry enough to get into
an auto accident, and is he hurt and in a hospital somewhere?
He returned to Tom’s room and surveyed it closely, spotting
Tom’s gym clothes tossed in a corner. “Okay, his gym bag
is missing,” he thought miserably. “He came home,
realized Linda was still here, packed and left. Shit!”
His stomach knotted and turned sour. Suddenly, the room grew cold. He
rubbed his bare shoulders briskly. Backing slowly out of the room, he
turned to move down the hall. The condo suddenly grew immense and
lonely. Yes, it was very lonely, not knowing when Tom would return.
Heretofore, he had always known where he was in relation to his twin,
in every way. He sat down at the kitchen table and stared at the
Just before noon, Tom eased his car into the garage, grabbed his bag
and entered the kitchen. Ray was still sitting at the table. An
electric-like charge passed through them when their eyes locked.
“Hey,” Tom said softly.
Ray straightened in his chair. “Hey,” he returned.
They almost smiled.
Ray stood up and said, “Hungry?”
“No, I’ve had breakfast. Thank you.”
“Yes, please.” Ray poured a mug full and placed it in the
Still facing the microwave, Ray said, “I freaked when I
discovered that you weren’t here this morning.” The
microwave chimed and he handed the mug to Tom with trembling hands.
“I don’t have a right to ask this, but what did you do
Tom sipped the coffee. “I don’t mind telling you. I had
dinner at Musso’s.”
Ray forced a smile. “Let me guess. You had chicken picatta.”
“Yep. You know me well. Then, I went to a movie and drove back
here about midnight.” Ray visibly cringed and sat down at the
table, wiping non-existent specks of dust from it. “I was about
to join you in bed when I heard you two.” He paused, then
continued, the quality of his voice grew hard. “How come she
Ray shrugged. “I wanted to find out what it was like to wake up
with her I guess. After dinner, we got down to some heavy petting and
decided to tell her parents that she was going to stay over at
Kathy’s house so they could get an early start on shopping this
“You lied to her parents,” Tom said matter-of-factly.
“Yeah. But we were talking about you,” Ray returned
“Well, when I realized what was going on, I packed a bag and
checked into a hotel downtown, but I couldn’t sleep. So, I
went down to the lobby bar, but it was closed. I asked the desk clerk
if there was another one nearby. He went off duty then and offered to
show me.” Tom chuckled. “I must have looked like a real
mess, because he said I looked like I could use some cheering up.”
He took a deep breath. Ray’s eyes never left his. “On the
way to the bar, I found out he was a University student too. So, we
got talking and he joined me. We seemed to click. As the bar was
closing, he said he would like to spend the night with me. So, I took
him back to my room.”
Ray shot out of the chair and yelled, “You picked up a strange
guy and slept with him?” He began to pace around the room. “How
could you do that?” he asked, not really wanting to know
Tom remained calm. He intercepted Ray and guided him back to the
chair. “No. He wasn’t a strange guy. He was a hotel
employee who offered me comfort and companionship, so I got to know
He walked around behind his brother and massaged his taught
shoulders. “He was sweet and kind and loving Ray. He gave me
what I needed. I was comforted and well-loved.” He stared into
space as his fingers worked his brother’s muscles. “We
didn’t just have sex. We made love, like you and I do Ray.”
Ray began to relax, but hung his head in misery. He had nothing to
say to those statements. As Tom’s fingers worked, he
looked at the two tattoos on his twin’s shoulder blades. They
were good, as tattoos go, but he grimaced in distaste at the thought
of them marring Ray’s flawless skin. Ray asked meekly, “Um,
why were you so late getting back this morning? I’ve been
Tom’s hands dropped from Ray’s shoulders. He walked
around to the other side of the table and met Ray’s eyes.
“We woke up late, we made love again, we showered and then we
had breakfast. Then, I left.” He stared into Ray’s eyes.
Ray opened his mouth to say something, but Tom interrupted him.
“Let’s go walking on the beach. That always clears our
heads. Then, we can talk sensibly.”
Ray nodded in agreement. Minutes later, they were in shorts walking
along the hot sand to the water. Ray asked quietly, “Are you
going to see him again?”
Tom sighed. He knew that would be the next question. “He asked
to see me again, but whether I would or not depends on how we work
out our situation. So, I had to bring him up to date. I told him
“You told him about us?”
“Yes, it was only fair. He understood. He gave me his phone
number and we parted.”
They were walking along the edge of the surf. The combination of warm
sun, cool air and cool water on their feet was soothing. Ray sighed.
“You didn’t answer my question. Are you going to use the
“I don’t want to. But, I will if I have to.” Ray
started to speak, but Tom went on. “I learned something last
night. Barry was a wonderful lover. I woke up in his arms this
morning, just like I wake up in yours. It felt good.”
Tom stopped and looked deep into his twin’s eyes. “But,
he wasn’t you. Now that I’ve been with another man, I
know without a doubt that it’s you I love. There’s a
spark and fire between us whether we’re making love or doing
something together or just sitting in the same room. We resonate
Ray said fiercely, “I do love you Tom! I’m your brother,
your twin. I love you with all my heart!”
Tom nodded sadly, “And it’s you I want, as a lover,
exclusively, with a lifetime commitment. We’re gay lovers
and I won’t accept anything less from you.”
“Are you telling me I have to give up Linda?”
“No, I wouldn’t do that. I’m simply telling you
what I want.”
“What will you do if I don’t stop seeing Linda?"
“I’ll quit claim my half of the condo to you and buy
another for myself.”
“You’ll move out? Leave me?” Ray was in tears.
“Yes,” Tom said quietly.
Ray grabbed Tom’s arms and shook them. “But I’ve
told you, I’m not gay.”
Tom walked up onto the dry sand and sat down. He patted a patch
beside him. Ray plopped down and held his head in his hands. Tom
stared at the horizon, then asked, “What would Dad say if you
told him you were gay?”
Ray shuddered violently. “He’d have a heart attack, after
he killed me.”
Tom nodded. “So he would, considering his views and our strict
religious upbringing.” He scratched his jaw, deep in thought.
“I’ve been thinking about some things. Now, listen
carefully and don’t get mad at me until I’ve finished.
When did we first go out for sports in school?”
Ray thought for a moment. “When we were twelve or thirteen.”
“And what did Dad always do when he saw one of our practices or
Ray huffed, “He lectured us all the way home about what we did
“Exactly. Nothing we ever did was good enough for him. We tried
everything we could think of to please him, didn’t we?”
“Yeah. We tried out for every sport until we found ones we
could excel at.”
“We tried other stuff too. I vowed to have a four-point-oh
grade point average all the way through school. What did you do?”
Ray’s eyes opened wide. “Well, uh . . . ”
“You discovered girls. Dad was so proud of you for that. He
never was happy that I didn’t become a stud, but he was content
with my scholarship. It was right after you started dating—which
you didn’t do until you were almost seventeen, by the way—that
Dad bought you a car. Then, he grudgingly bought me one several
months later.” Ray just looked at him. “And, what was
Dad’s reaction to your new tattoos?”
“I don’t remember.”
“Yes you do. He yelled and screamed for a few minutes, then
laughed and said you were growing up and becoming a man. You got
those tattoos just to prove to Dad that you were a macho man,”
he said emphatically.
Then, his voice softened and he said miserably, “I knew we were
gay before we left junior high and I accepted it. But, I knew
Dad wouldn’t. So, I kept quiet when I saw you doing things
just to prove to Dad that you were straight. I sat by and let you
delude yourself so I wouldn’t have to.”
He pulled Ray into a hug and rested his head on his twin’s
shoulder. “I’m so sorry Ray. I stood by and let you fuck
up your life all these years. I should have been strong. We both
should have been strong. We should have stood up to Dad together and
told him we were lovers.”
Ray pushed Tom away and stood up. “No! I don’t believe
Tom stood and brushed the sand off his skin. He looked sadly at Ray
and nodded, then turned and headed for the condo. Ray stared after
him for a full minute, and then followed.
Tom spent most of the afternoon in his bedroom reading and listening
to music while Ray became increasingly nervous. He bustled around the
place cleaning and straightening, bringing Tom snacks and coffee
every so often. When the sun was low on the horizon, he prepared a
light dinner, which they ate quietly, barely looking at each other.
After the meal, they sat on the couch and watched TV until Tom yawned
and said he was going to hit the sack. He walked into his bedroom and
Ray started to follow him inside. Tom turned and stopped him gently.
“No Ray. Don’t make it any worse. You’ve made your
decision.” He motioned Ray toward the room across the hall and
shut his door.
Tom sighed heavily and fiercely refused to cry. He didn’t want
to think about his lover sleeping away from his bed. He didn’t
want to think about his lover disavowing him. He didn’t want to
think about the calls he would have to make to his attorney and real
estate agent tomorrow morning. He flung his clothes from his body and
fell into bed. Two hours passed slowly until he sank into a fitful
He awoke when the sun knifed through the window blinds and smiled to
himself. He was at peace. He moaned softly at the familiar scent and
feel of warm, comforting skin stretched across firm muscles. He
luxuriated at the safe feeling of Ray’s strong arms around him.
Ray? He looked up into his twin’s smiling eyes. “Ray,
what are you doing here?”
Ray’s smile widened. “I’ve made my decision, my
FINAL decision.” He sealed it with a deep kiss, and much more.
Chapter Two - Craig and Kevin
Craig and Kevin walked slowly down the beach as they had a thousand
times before, wearing shorts; that’s about it. Craig was
shirtless, his usual summer dress.
Their footprints sank alternately into wet and dry sand as they
ambled on, each with his thoughts, because today’s beach walk
was different from all the others they had enjoyed together since
they were in kindergarten.
Finally, Kevin sucked in a breath of fresh sea air and spoke to his
best buddy for the past twelve years. “Did you enjoy what we
did last night?”
Craig waited several heartbeats before he answered, “Yeah I
did. But I still don’t know why it happened.” Kevin kept
silent, sensing that Craig wasn’t finished. “Shit Kevin,
we’ve slept together a zillion times and that never happened
before. What’s going on?”
“Are you nervous about it or disgusted about it?”
Their pace down the beach slowed a bit before Craig responded. “No,
I don’t think so. I mean, I’ve know you forever. We’re
like brothers. So, I’m cool. And, I couldn’t be
disgusted about anything we did together.” He hesitated
for a moment. “I’m just surprised that we did that.”
Kevin looked up from the sand and stole a quick glance at Craig.
“Well, I mean, like you said, we’re like brothers, closer
than brothers as far as I’m concerned.”
“Yeah,” Craig admitted.
“So, I’ve been thinking.” Kevin’s voice
Kevin took another deep breath. “Craig, do you love me?”
he mumbled, staring at the sand.
Craig looked up at Kevin in surprise. “Wow! That’s heavy
Kev. I’ve never thought about us in those terms.”
Kevin wouldn’t meet Craig’s eyes. “Well, don’t
brothers love each other?”
“So? You’re the most important person in my life Craig.
You’re always there for me. I’ve told you all my secrets,
even stuff I can’t tell my folks, or the priest. So why
shouldn’t I love you?”
Craig’s eyes narrowed as he gazed into the distance. “Yeah,
I see what you mean. I feel the same way about you.” He nodded
his head with a sense of conviction. “Yeah, you’re right.
I do love you.”
With Craig’s admission ringing in his ears, Kevin hurried on.
“Okay, so we love each other, and we’re closer than
brothers. Then wouldn’t what we did be a natural expression of
our love?” He glanced at Craig not without a look of pleading.
Craig stopped and met Kevin’s eyes for a moment. Then, he
smiled and put his arm around his buddy's shoulders and pulled him
into a hug. “Yeah, it did seem right.”
Kevin expelled a large breath. “Great. It just took you by
“Yeah, but the surprise is over. I’ll know what to expect
next time,” he said with a grin, wiggling his eyebrows up and
“Next time?” Kevin whispered in surprise.
“Yeah,” Craig laughed, “but I hope you shave before
we go to bed tonight. You gave me whisker burns on certain sensitive
parts of my body last night.”
Kevin gaped into Craig’s laughing face. “Why you rat!
I’ll show you whisker burn!”
Craig, laughing like a hyena, took off at a run down the beach, his
best friend and new lover hot on his tracks. “Wait until I
catch you, you turkey,” Kevin shouted with glee.
Both boys knew that their friendship would be taken to an even deeper
Chapter Three - Joe and Dave
“Man, think of it! Twenty-five dollars each, maybe more, for a
couple of hours work,” Joe said, quite excited. He actually
skipped a few steps, his bare feet splashing in the edge of the surf
as they took their daily walk along the beach.
“Yeah, but don’t you think that there’s something
kind of weird about this deal?” Dave muttered. “He might
be some kind of pervert or something.”
“Aw look man,” Joe whined, “We’ve got exactly
$2.64 between us and a month before either of our parents sends us
some money. We gotta eat.”
Joe and Dave were freshmen at the State University. They had shared a
room in the dorm since the beginning of the term and had become fast
friends. Neither had lived away from home before, and they quickly
discovered how badly they could mismanage their money.
“Yeah, it didn’t feel good to have the coach yell at us
about our lousy practice today,” Dave admitted.
“You said it! We can’t keep up our strength on one meal a
day. If we don’t perform, he’ll kick us off the team.”
The boys were attending State U courtesy of gymnastics scholarships.
They both shuddered at the thought of being kicked off the team.
The scholarships would be withdrawn and they would be thrown out of
“And I hate to think how much louder my old man would yell than
the coach did if I get kicked out of school,” Joe said with
“Okay, so we’ve got to have money and quick,” Dave
said with resignation,” but, I’m still bothered about
having our pictures taken.”
Joe threw up his hands in exasperation. “Dave buddy, would our
own coach give us a bum steer on this?”
After their coach had finished yelling at them about their poor
performance at practice, he asked them about their eating habits.
When they confessed to eating only one meal a day for lack of funds,
he renewed his verbal tirade, reminding them of their minimum daily
calorie requirements. In the end, he had slipped them $20 each and
told them to go eat a good dinner. Then, he had given them a business
card, suggesting they might find some quick money there.
“Well,” Dave said doubtfully, “Coach did say the
guy was a friend of his.”
“Right,” Joe averred, “and Coach always keeps an
eye out for models for him. That’s all we’re going to be
doing, modeling.” Joe eyed his roommate’s sleek,
perfectly proportioned body striding gracefully, only in swim
trunks, and added, “I have the feeling that your body is just
what the photographer is looking for. And with what we’ve got
between our legs, we can up our pay scale if we want to.”
When the boys had returned to the dorm after practice, they
immediately called the photographer and made an appointment to
meet with him the following night. During the conversation, the man
had explained a lengthy payment plan for posing.
“That’s what makes me think he’s a pervert Joe,”
“Look buddy,” Joe said soothingly, “we only have to
go as far as we want to. We get $25 each posing in swimsuits or
underwear, $50 nude, $75 with an erection, $100 for a cum shot, and
$150 if we do stuff with each other.” Joe’s voice went up
a decibel or two with each price.
Dave stopped and faced his friend. “Dude, can you spell
‘greed’? You’ve got dollar signs in your eyes.
Think about what you just said. You’re suggesting we pose
nude,” and his voice trailed off, “and other stuff.”
“Dave, the guy’s a business man, a photographer. He's
photographed thousands of guys, and women too probably. It’s
the way he makes his living. He knows what sells. Do you really think
he’d shell out that kind of money just to put the make on you?”
Dave looked confused. “Sell? What do you think he’ll do
with our pictures after he takes them?”
“Sell ‘em to a magazine I expect,” Joe said with a
shrug of his shoulders.
“A magazine?” Dave exclaimed in panic. “Do you
really want nude pictures of us published in some magazine? What
if our families see them?”
Joe started to chuckle, then progressed to uproarious laughter that
ended in a coughing fit. Finally, he caught his breath. “Dave,
my good friend, can you really see your dad or mother or your
grandmother buying that kind of magazine?”
“Well, no,” Dave said doubtfully, “but what if one
of our friends or teammates sees those pictures?”
“So be it. We’ve got nothing to be ashamed of,” he
said, grabbing his crotch obscenely. “And, if Coach gives out
those cards to all the starving students, then probably most of our
gymnastic team has had its collective erection photographed.”
Dave didn’t have a quick come back to that statement, so he
kept silent. By this time, they were at the dorm. They trudged up to
the room and sat on their beds, opposite each other, thinking.
“Okay, if we only pose in our underwear, we get $25 each and
we’re still short on funds. So, we’ve got to pose nude,”
Dave complained, “or more.”
Joe didn’t answer immediately. Dave stared at him and could
fairly hear the wheels turning in his head. Finally, Joe looked
up, wearing a look of determination. “Dave, if we do stuff with
each other, we’ll make $150 each and God knows we need the
money, and quick.” He leaned closer to his friend and said
conspiratorially, “But what if we were so good at doing stuff
with each other that the guy would want to photograph us again and
Dave stared at his buddy dumbfounded. “Joe, I haven’t
gotten a hard on in front of another guy since junior high.”
“Neither have I,” Joe said reasonably. “Let’s
“Are you kidding me?”
“Nope. It’ll be fun.” Joe stood up and whipped off
his swimsuit, baring his crotch to Dave, sitting about three feet
Dave stared at Joe’s massive cock and balls. He had seen his
roommate nude hundreds of times, but not in this context. Joe was an
erotic sight. His body was perfect. Only his genitals were out of
proportion. Now he could smell Joe’s musk. It smelled like sex.
Joe reached out and took Dave’s arm, bidding him to stand up.
Their eyes locked, in silent communication. Dave’s hands
moved slowly to slide his swimsuit down to his ankles. Without
breaking eye contact, he kicked them aside.
To their surprise, their cocks began to stir. Joe arched an eyebrow
at Dave and they both began to feel a tingling in their low-hanging
balls. They looked down at their dicks, watching them slowly rise to
Dave and Joe were evenly matched in the penis department. As Joe said
earlier, neither of them had anything to be ashamed of. Now, their
cocks were at full mast and throbbing.
Simultaneously, their eyes rose, raking the other’s body. When
their eyes met, the lust there was plain to see. The corners of their
mouths curled into smiles.
“Well,” Dave purred, “now we know we can get a
hard-on in front of each other. Do you think we can do anything
Joe flashed him a lust-filled grin, and said, “There’s
only one way to find out,” as he reached for Dave’s big
Chapter Four - Jake and Chad
The boys jogged easily down the beach, their bare feet splashing
lightly at the edge of the surf. It was a beautiful morning, perhaps
half an hour after sunrise.
“Man, I feel great this morning,” Jake bellowed.
Chad had sponsored Jake as a pledge to his fraternity at State
University. He looked askance at his charge. “Jake, you are
Jake turned to Chad in surprise. “Really, why do you say that?”
“After all the stuff you did last night, you should be out on
your ass.” He shook his head again in disbelief.
Jake shrugged his shoulders. “Aw, the initiation wasn’t
so bad. I enjoyed it,” he grinned broadly.
“That’s what bothers me. We were prepared to make some
concessions for you, but they weren’t necessary,” Chad
said with conviction.
The smile slid from Jake’s face and he slowed his pace to a
walk. “Look Chad, I may only be a freshman and a naive
preacher’s son, but I’m sophisticated enough to realize
that the only reason you sponsored me was to bring up the grade point
average for the fraternity.” They stopped. Jake put his fists
on his hips, glared at Chad and continued. “Please just let me
enjoy having some fun for the first time in my life.”
Chad had the decency to look embarrassed. He turned to continue their
walk down the beach. “Look man, you’re right. That’s
why we wanted you in the fraternity. You have the highest grade point
average in the freshman class.” He tried to mask his chagrin
with humor. “It also helped that you’re a handsome dude
and built like a brick shithouse.” Then, he looked quizzically
at Jake and verbalized what had been bothering him. “We checked
you out pretty carefully, but are you sure you’re a minister’s
Jake gave his fraternity brother an ironic smile. “Chad, my
name is Jacob Isaac Matthew. Doesn’t that sound like the name
of a Bible-thumping preacher’s son? And, my dad’s name is
Isaac David Matthew,” he said with a self-deprecating grin.
Chad grinned in return and nodded his head. “Yeah, that sounds
right. But, you went through the initiation tasks like you had done
that stuff all your life.”
Jake barked a mirthless laugh. “Fat chance. I was never allowed
to do anything that the other kids did for fun, so I put all my
energy into academics and sports.”
Chad looked at Jake’s body with approval. “I believe
that. You’ve got a body to die for. You’ll probably be on
the next Olympic gymnastics team.” He recalled last night’s
initiation ceremony and chuckled to himself. “But man, you
smoked that weed like a pro.”
Jake smiled happily. “Yeah, it was great. I never knew
marijuana would taste so good. And it made me feel great! I loved
“But, you inhaled it. Then, you swilled the beer like it was
Jake giggled. “All my life I’ve wondered what beer tasted
like. Now I think I’m hooked. I can’t wait to drink
Chad harrumphed. “I’d take it easy if I were you. You
drank a twelve pack in less than two hours.” He looked evenly
at his charge. “And you didn’t act like you were drunk.”
Jake’s eyes were innocent as he asked, “Was I supposed
“Didn’t you see what was happening to the other pledges?”
Chad asked incredulously.
“I didn’t notice that they were drunk” He looked
embarrassed, then sad. “I don’t even know what that’s
like. I just thought they were having a good time.”
Chad just shook his head in wonder. “But, what really
flabbergasted me was your performance during the circle jerk.”
Jake’s face brightened. “Man, that was the best! I’d
never masturbated before.”
Chad grinned evilly. “Well, you must have been saving it up for
years, because you shot your wad four times, before the last one of
the pledges shot their first.”
He slapped Jake on the back and exclaimed, “You, my boy, are a
fraternity row natural! You’re smart; you’re handsome;
you’re an athlete. You can out smoke and out drink and out cum
anybody in our house! Shit, you’ll be the chapter president by
the end of the year if we don’t watch out!”
Jake beamed. “Well, I don’t know why I didn’t get
high from the pot and beer, but the other pledge’s hand just
felt so good on my penis, and my hand felt really great on the next
guy’s.” He ran out of words to describe how he felt.
“I’ve waked up with erections before, but my dick was the
hardest it’s ever been last night.”
Chad giggled. “I thought the guy would crap when you licked his
cum off your hand.”
It was Jake’s turn to giggle. “Yeah, but you should have
seen his face when the pledge master told him to suck my dick.”
He winced, recalling the painful memory. “He must not have done
a good job, because he kept scraping me with his teeth.”
“Yeah, but you came a fifth time in about three minutes.”
He wanted to say something else, but wasn’t sure it he should.
Then, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “And, you didn’t
seem to mind sucking me off later in our room.” He blushed
furiously. “And, your kisses were so great . . .” His
voice trailed off and he looked at the sand at his feet.
Jake was caught up in the memory. “Well, the pledge master said
we had to drink our sponsors’ semen to bond with . . . ”
He broke off, struck by Chad’s expression. He stopped his frat
brother with a hand on his arm. His eyes reduced to angry slits.
“Chad, did the other pledges suck their sponsors?”
Chad began to sweat. “Yeah, they did. I did when I was a pledge
too. But . . . ."
“You mean what happened AFTER I sucked you wasn’t part of
“No,” Chad admitted in a small voice.
“You kissed me. And then we . . . .”
Chad cut him off. “Yeah, I kissed you,” he said, almost
“Chad,” Jake said softly, “were you making fun of
me?” His breath caught in his throat. “Or, were you
taking advantage of me because I’m naive?”
Tears in his eyes, Chad stopped and grabbed both of Jake’s
arms. “Oh God no, Jake! None of that!” He took a deep
breath, unsure how to explain himself. “Jake, honest to God, I
don’t know what came over me.” He shook his head. “Aw
shit, yes I do.”
He smiled wryly into Jake’s eyes and the words tumbled out.
“Last night in bed, you were so hot, so passionate, so
innocent, and so handsome. I just got caught up in it. You were
perfect when you sucked me. I never came so quick. As you drank my
cum, you looked up at me and your eyes were so full of lust and
innocence, I just couldn’t resist. I just had to kiss you.
Then, you kissed me back and it was so perfect. No girl ever kissed
me that well.” His voice faltered, full of emotion. “Then,
one thing led to another . . . .” Tears poured down his cheeks
and he looked away. “I’m so sorry Jake.”
Jake placed his hands on Chad’s. “Don’t be sorry.
You made me feel better than I’ve ever felt in my life. It felt
so right, so good.” He cocked his head to one side. “I’ve
often wondered what it would feel like to make love with someone
and you showed me.” Chad started to protest. “No Chad.
Chad dropped Jake’s hands and gave him a small smile. “Well,
like I said, I just got caught up in the moment.”
Jake grinned into Chad’s eyes. “But, you enjoyed it,
“Yeah, I did.”
“You did it of your own free will?”
“Um hm. You’re the most passionate person I’ve ever
slept with. You’re hard to ignore in bed.”
They turned and resumed their jog. Jake said with a wicked grin,
“And, it’s a fraternity sponsor’s duty to guide a
Jake suppressed a giggle. “Then it’s fortunate that we’re
roommates isn’t it? In the privacy of our room, you can
guide me in the things I need to learn.”
Chad’s face broke into a wide grin. “Like I said, you’re
a natural. So, I don’t think there’s much I can teach
you. But, I’ll try.”
They stopped and looked into each other’s eyes. “I’d
like that Chad.”
Chad smiled shyly. “I would too. Let’s go back to the
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