The Activist , Pt 6
I already thought of it as ‘our’ bed. I was lying on it, on my stomach, working algebra problems when Nathan came in, home from his job. The bed jostled as he sat down beside me and laid his hand on my briefs-covered bottom. I wiggled it under his palm, and then rolled to my back to look up at him. He was smiling.
I smiled back, and Nathan bent down to kiss me.
“How did it go?” I asked, stroking the side of his face.
He shrugged. “Good, even for a Friday. I sold five hundred dollars to one guy alone.”
“Your charm,” I said, running my fingers into his hair.
He winked, sat up, pulled off his tie, and began unbuttoning his shirt. “I kept thinking of you all day,” he said. “I missed you last night.”
My eyes fell to his bare chest as he shrugged out of his shirt and tossed it aside. I laid my hand on his right pec, feeling the firm, flat muscle and his warm skin. His body was familiar now, but as exciting as the first day we made love.
“My parents called last night,” I told him.
“Oh?” he asked, unfastening his belt.
He kicked off his shoes and pulled off his socks.
“They’re coming next weekend,” I told him.
Nathan paused, considering, and then stood to unfasten his pants. “Will I meet them?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I told him, honestly. I watched him step from his pants and lay them aside. In only his briefs, he climbed onto the bed, and onto me, the front of his briefs flattening on the front of mine, just before his belly flattened on my belly. We liked each other in briefs; we liked starting in briefs.
I wrapped my arms around the small of his back. Nathan smiled and kissed me. I opened my legs and cupped his bottom with my hands.
“I missed you, too,” I told him, rubbing noses and slipping my hands inside the backs of his briefs. I squeezed his firm buttocks and pushed the back of his briefs downward.
Nathan knelt up, pulling my briefs down and off. He kicked off his own and then knelt between my legs. He fell forward onto his hands over me and slowly lowered his erection to mine as I hummed the opening music from 2001: A Space Odyssey, ‘Thus Spoke Zarathustra’. We’d done that a few times lately; it was fun… the meeting of our crotches.
Our loins flattened, and our dicks point out from between their flattening. Nathan circled his hips and his cock moved forward and back beside mine. I grabbed his hips and circled my hips, moving my cock forward and back beside his. We ground. His eyes met mine.
“Feel good?” Nathan asked.
“Oh, yeah,” I answered, pulling my knees up on either side of his hips.
Nathan lowered himself the rest of the way onto me. He planted his mouth on mine and wrapped his arms over my head. I grabbed his bottom and we rubbed our cocks against one another.
We made it last over thirty minutes. Nathan loved slow sex, and he was teaching me to love it; to savor it, to stretch it out, to enjoy our bodies and the sensations we shared. We stretched it, even when we started hot. We started hot a lot.
Afterward, he relaxed on top of me. Our cum mixed between our bellies as Nathan nuzzled into the side of my neck and I stroked the long muscles of his back. I was also learning to enjoy our nuzzling after sex. In sex or afterward, one of my favorite sensations remained the feel of his balls resting on mine. I wondered if that was weird.
“Will I meet your parents?” Nathan asked again, propping himself up on his elbows to look down at me.
I frowned. “I don’t know,” I told him. “I mean… you know my parents think I have a girl friend and that’s why I’m away from the room so much. What will they think if I only introduce them to you? What if they ask how you and I met? And how the hell am I supposed to act normally around you in front of them?”
Nathan pushed the corners of my mouth up into a smile with his thumbs. “If I were a girl,” he said, “you would introduce me to them.” Then he grinned. “I could always meet them in drag.”
I laughed and freed my mouth from his thumbs so I could talk. “Mom, Dad, meet Natasha,” I said, grinning. “They’d wonder where I met such a hot chick.” But then I shook my head. “My dad’s shrewd. If anyone can see through people, it’s him. That’s why I’m afraid of him seeing us together.”
Nathan traced my jaw line with a fingertip. “Why can’t you just introduce me as a friend, Loren? I’d like to meet your parents. I don’t have to hang around.”
I nodded, but I tried thinking how to get out of it. I was certain that all it would take would be for my dad to see me and Nathan together and somehow he’d know.
Over the next few days, I considered compromises. I tried to think how to introduce Nathan to my parents in some neutral way, but I couldn’t even think where to introduce him to them. It wasn’t like Nathan would naturally show up anywhere on campus unless we pretended he was a student, but that would require a lot of lying, and I didn’t trust my ability to fool my dad. I’d always stunk at it.
I thought about taking Mom and Dad by the mall, and introducing them to Nathan at work, but there was no way to make a special trip like that and pretend that Nathan was a casual friend. I certainly couldn’t take them to Nathan’s house – a de facto, gay activity center.
I suppose that underlying all my other concerns was the worry that Dad would recognize that Nathan was gay. Some of Nathan’s mannerisms weren’t quite masculine. Around Nate, not all of mine were.
My parents arrived on Friday night. They met my roommate, Tom. I had promised Tom anything to not mention my sleeping away so much. So he didn’t, though he told me privately that he actually missed having me around.
“It’s almost like I don’t have a roommate at all,” Tom complained. “I see you a hell of a lot more at track.”
Tom went with me when I took my parents to meet the track coaches and to see our training facilities. My folks met some of the other runners. Later, I took them by the library, where I supposedly spent so much time. I took them to the UT – Tech football game. We finished touring the campus. We ate out. They did not meet Nathan.
“When do we meet your girlfriend?” Mom kept asking.
“I keep telling you, Mom, I have no girlfriend.”
She asked that once in front of Tom, and my roommate gave me a funny look when I answered that I didn’t have one.
“I’ve been wanting to meet her, too,” he told my mom.
My face grew hot.
“So he does have a girlfriend?” Mom said.
“Just drop it, Mom,” I said. I checked my watch. “Shouldn’t we be leaving for supper?”
My parents left Sunday afternoon. Dad even gave me a hug.
“Would you like to have your Mustang down here?” Dad asked. “You seem to be doing fine in your classes; there’s no reason you shouldn’t have it. You could drive it down after Thanksgiving”
I grinned. “Sure. Thanks!”
That made their visit a complete success. My happiness was tempered, though. I needed to face Nathan.
I walked over to his house. Pauly was in the living room and gave me a warm greeting, and a peck on the cheek. He liked to be hugged, so I gave him one. Travis was in some kind of political argument with a couple of other guys and tried to drag me into it, but I resisted, heading back to Nathan’s room.
He wasn’t there.
I went back to the kitchen, thinking I might have missed Nathan when I glanced in, but only Andrew was there, eating a sandwich at the kitchen table.
“Do you know where Nathan is?” I asked.
Andrew shook his head. He chewed a bite of sandwich, eyeing me, then swallowed.
“Nathan told me that your parents were in town this weekend,” he said.
“Yeah,” I said, trying to think where else to look for Nathan.
“He said you didn’t introduce him to them.”
I frowned. “I’m not out to my parents yet,” I said.
“So? You couldn’t simply introduce Nathan as a friend?” Andrew asked. “How serious are you about Nathan, anyway?”
I shifted uncomfortably. “You know I’m serious.”
“You sure? Is he like, just a boyfriend to you? I’m asking because he thought you were really serious?”
“I am serious,” I said, emphatically. “I love him!”
“He’s your first boyfriend?”
“He’s my only boyfriend,” I told him, frowning. “I’m not some kid, Andrew. I know what love is.”
Andrew shrugged. “If you do love Nathan, you ought to treat him like it.” He held up his hand before I could reply. “Look, Loren,” he said. “I’m not saying you have to out yourself. Just don’t keep Nathan hidden away like a mistress." He shook his head slowly. "You don't know how many gay guys would die to have someone like Nathan love them the way Nathan loves you. Treat him right, okay?” Then Andrew leaned back and eyed me thoughtfully, “You know… if you two are in love the way you say you are, sooner or later, you will introduce him to your parents.”
That thought shook me. I didn’t want to lose Nathan. I didn’t ever want to lose Nathan. But in my gut, I knew Andrew was right. I couldn’t keep Nate and stay in the closet forever.
I’d been torn and tense all weekend, and I was tired. I looked away because a tear rolled down my cheek.
“Nathan’s not obviously gay,” Andrew pointed out. “What do you think it said to him that you wouldn’t let your parents meet him? How important to you do you think he feels?”
I couldn’t talk. I walked away. On top of everything else, I’d hurt Nate’s feelings.
I waited in Nathan’s room, but remained clothed. I’d brought my books and studied for a while. Toward evening, I made myself a sandwich from Nathan’s and my food. I returned to his room, and studied more, but it was difficult to concentrate. Where was Nathan? What would I say to him when he returned?
I grew angry. It wasn’t fair. I wasn’t ready to be out yet, and I felt like I was being forced to. Was Nathan angry with me? He must be; why else would he be staying away? Then I had a thought that sent a chill up my spine… what if he was with someone else? What if he was mad at me, and went to someone else… to be consoled… or for revenge? All because I refused to introduce him to my parents?
It grew impossible to study, though I tried. I considered returning to the dorm, but decided against it. I’d stick around, even if Nathan didn’t come back till the morning. And that thought, that he might spend the night with someone else, formed knots in my stomach.
It was late when Nathan returned. He glanced at me, lying on the bed with my books, and then stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. He walked over to his dresser, placing his billfold and keys on top of it.
“I’m sorry,” I told him.
“I’m tired,” he said, without looking at me. “I want to go to bed… to sleep.”
“I’ll clear off,” I said, closing my books.
Nathan took off his shirt, still not looking at me.
“I really am sorry,” I said. “I just wasn’t ready, Nate.”
He took off his shoes.
“Please give me time, Nate,” I said, quietly.
He took off his socks.
“It doesn’t mean I don’t love you; you have to know that!” I said, frowning. “It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you with all my heart.”
Nathan took off his pants and folded them over his chair.
I sat up and gathered my books. “May I stay?” I asked.
“I want to stay,” I said.
He shrugged and went to the other side of the bed. Still in his briefs, he pulled back the covers and crawled in. We always slept naked. Were the briefs a warning that nothing was going to happen between us that night? I hadn’t assumed otherwise.
I set the books aside and left the room to brush my teeth and take a piss before bed. When I returned, Nathan was facing away from me on the bed. I couldn’t tell if he was asleep or not.
I undressed, leaving on my own briefs, and, turning out the light, I crawled into my side of the bed. “I’m sorry if I hurt you,” I said.
He said nothing.
“Damn it, Nathan,” I said, rolling up behind him. “I’m stupid, and I’m a fucking coward, but I love you. Be patient with me, okay?”
“Nathan,” I said, molding my body to the back of his and hugging his waist. “Someday I am going to tell my parents about us, even if it means they kick me out. I’m gonna hang onto you Nathan. I’m not going to lose you. I’m not ever going to lose you.”
I pulled his shoulder, turning him to me, and he let me, rolling to his back. I pulled him up into my arms. His face was wet. I felt it with my cheek.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, feeling even sorrier than before. I held him tightly. “I love you,” I said. “I love you so much!”
Nathan melted into me, his wet eyes against the side of my neck.
“I understand,” he said, quietly. “It’s just hard.”
My jaw set; angry at myself for hurting Nathan. “I won’t hurt you again, Nate” I told him. “I won’t. You’re part of me. I’m not going to keep you hidden away anymore.” I rubbed my face against his, searching for his tears with my lips; wiping and kissing them away. My lips found his and our mouths opened to one another… gently, not hungrily.
We grew hard and I went under the covers to remove Nathan’s briefs. I nuzzled his erection and loose balls. I licked them. I licked down under them, taking deep, comforting breaths of his scent. Then I licked up the underside of his shaft. I tongued his crown. I closed my mouth over it. I held his shaft tenderly and gently bobbed on the end of it.
He tugged under my arms, pulling me up. I moved up beside him, pushing down and kicking off my briefs. Our legs entwined and I pulled his belly to mine. We kissed and our hands gently stroked one another’s arms, sides, and hips.
I rolled Nathan to his back and moved over him. He opened his legs for me and I settled my balls and dick onto his. I slipped my hands under the backs of his shoulders and gazed down into his eyes which glinted faintly in the dim light. Estranged from his family, with few friends, and perhaps none close, and a job that was not much, I knew that in many ways, I was all Nathan had. Someday, he could be all I had.
“I’m always going to love you, Nathan,” I told him. “I’ll get better at it; I promise.”
He smiled sadly and stroked the side of my face before pulling my mouth down to his.
We kissed and humped against each other, slowly, tenderly. Our passion built. I did the things Nathan liked, like kissing the side of his neck and face and tonguing in his ear, and like reaching under his butt, squeezing, pulling; running my hand down the inside of his thighs. I ground my pelvis against his, and covered his mouth with mine.
We grew passionate. We rolled; Nathan on top for awhile, then me on top again.
“I’m close,” he finally said.
I took his hands in mine, stretching his arms up on the bed, fingers interlaced. I placed my mouth on his and ground hard and forcefully until Nathan pulled his hands from mine and grabbed my butt, pulling me hard between his legs, grinding up against me. We pressed the sides of our faces together and came at almost the same time.
I relaxed on Nate, and kissed his cheek. I gathered him in my arms and rolled us to our sides, facing, legs entwined. We lay nose to nose on the pillow. We kissed one last time, gently, and closed our eyes for sleep.
“Dad,” I asked over the phone, “is it okay if I bring a friend home with me for Thanksgiving?”
“Boy or girl?” Mom asked.
“A guy, Mom,” I said. “He doesn’t have family to spend Thanksgiving with, and he says he’ll help me drive the Mustang back to Austin.”
“It’s fine with me,” Dad said.
“Why doesn’t he have family?” Mom asked.
“He has family, Mom; he’s just estranged from them. It’s a long story, okay?”
“What’s his name?” Dad asked.
“Nathan,” I answered. “And Dad, could we pay for his plane ticket; he really can’t afford to buy one.”
“Sure. After all, he’s helping you drive back, right?”
“Nathan, they said ‘yes’,” I told him over the phone.
“I asked my boss,” Nathan said. “He didn’t want to let me off because that’s a busy weekend.”
“He said I could take off. They like me at Penneys.”
I smiled, sort of proud of Nathan. “Cool.”
I barely slept that night. Apart from my parents, I wondered how I would introduce
Nathan to my friends back home.
Usually, I have a good idea how many chapters it will take me to get everything in. I have no idea this time, but I believe we have two or three to go. I haven't been hearing much from readers lately, so I'll probably wrap up as quickly as I can. I hope you guys are continuing to enjoy the story.
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