Date: Wed, 9 Apr 2003 10:55:34 -0700 (PDT) From: Thomas-Andre Bardwell Subject: The Courtship - Part Six Once I was able to pull myself away from Tim's room, I went back to my room to get my things. I sure as hell was not going to wear what I had on - powder blue tank top and gap khakis. I found it necessary to change into something more suitable especially if we were going to be out in a boat together for four hours. As I was changing, I drifted off into a daydream starring Tim and myself. We were off in the middle of the lake just chilling. We were off on another of our random conversations about life and sex. The topic veered more toward sex as the day wore on. The exchange would take place as follows: "So do you like giving head?" I would feign a shocked reaction and then coyly answer him, seductively licking my lips. I would then ask him when was the last time he received head. He'd cock his head to the side and give me an incredulous look. He'd then stare off into the water contemplating an answer. "It's been a while." He'll finally reply. "Well, would you be interested in getting some?" I'd ask sheepishly. Tim would think about it for a minute and want to initially tell me "no thank you." But his dick will start to get hard underneath his faded blue jeans. He'd squirm and writhe in his seat giggling uncomfortably. I then take the initiative and reach over to him and stroke his leg. With his dark brown eyes, he'd signal his approval. I hungrily fish out his cock and shove its hardness deep down my throat. Tim won't be too large but not too small but just perfect for a blowjob. At first, he'd treat the situation as clinically as possible by specifying how he's not doing anything and imaging some hot girlfriend of his from long ago. But as I get more into sucking on his juicy cock, he glances down at me and acknowledges that yes, a fag is in fact sucking his cock and that he fucking loves it! I work his dick like it's no tomorrow. I bob up and down and tease and toy with it until he's moaning and panting and writhing beneath me. When he comes, its explosive; a frantic, gushing orgasm of unparalleled proportions and I'll suck down every last drop. Somehow this fantasy carries me away for a bit and I'm awakened by voices from my next-door neighbor. Joel, a former football player himself, is in his room talking to Tim. The walls are paper thin, so I start to hear the mumbling of my name. I lean up against the wall to hear in more detail. "Yeah, I'm about to take this fag fishin' with me." Tim brags. Joel laughs and offers suggestions on how to keep the fag off of him: "Fart really loud and make his faggot ass sick to his stomach"; "Push him into the water if he makes a pass at you"; "Punch him in his faggot mouth if he says anything gay and shit." This is not what makes me mortified but this last exchange that takes me over the edge. "You don't think I'm a fag, do you?" Tim asks. "Well if you keep talking to one, then yeah, maybe." Joel answers. I'm a fag to Tim. This absolutely can't be. I fall out of my chair and collapse to the floor. I am both horrified and disappointed not because the word "fag" is horrifying or that I'm disappointed that Tim called me that but more so because I fooled myself into believing that he was really into me. That Tim was feasibly interested in me in some manner. I was angry with myself for convoluting the signals and messages twisting them to spell out love. I was angry that I let him get deep into me like this. I was angry that I foolishly thought that he was somehow different. I was angry that I was so easily fooled. I should have listened to my friends who warned me against him but I was too blind to see. I sat on the floor, mortified, until there was a soft knock at my door. "You ready?" "No, Tim. I'm not going fishing with you." I sneered at him. "And why not?" Tim responded playfully. "Because I don't hang out with people who call me a `faggot'!" Tim looked as if he swallowed a ghost. "Were you going to take any of Joel's suggestions in case shit happened as we fished?" Tim didn't say a word. "Were you, Tim? Were you going to punch me in my mouth or throw me overboard?" Tim tried to speak but I cut him off. "Fuck you, Tim. Fuck you." I slammed the door in his face and went over to my bed shaking and buzzed. I shook so badly that I couldn't fall asleep for two hours afterwards. Fucking tease. (This is it gentlemen. Tim and Tom are over. This is a true story so I'm sorry it didn't have an erotic climax but I thought realism would be more effective. Cheers.)