Date: Mon, 13 Feb 2006 21:40:31 -0500 From: Tyler Peel Subject: The Road Home Chapter Twenty One DISCLAIMER: WARNING!! This is a work of homoerotic fiction written by an adult for the purpose of entertaining other adults. If you are not eighteen years of age or you have any problem with this type of literature then this is a warning to read no further. The author will not be held responsible for any reason if you choose to disregard this disclaimer. If it is not legal to read the following fictional story in your country then please stop now. The Road Home Yahoo Group: Over four hundred and fifty Roadies have joined Treb's Yahoo TRH Group! It's a great place for readers to gather together and discuss the story, post messages and make new friends with others who also share your interest in this story. Treb's added a photo section where YOU can upload pictures (jpg's) that you feel best represent each of the main characters. (Keep 'em clean Roadies) LOTS OF NEW PICTURES UP! Membership is free and not subject to approval! Everyone of legal age is welcome here. Address: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/the_road_home/ NEW YAHOO CHAT: A word about Yahoo chat. It sucks! It keeps knocking people out and some can't even get in! Treb created a NEW CHAT ROOM through Nifty.org 5 EASY STEPS TO CHATTING: 1) COPY and PASTE the following into your Address bar! 2) 3) Fill in your NAME, AGE, LOCATION (all must be filled in) 4) You may be REQUIRED to UPDATE your JAVA from Sun Micro Systems! It is safe to do so : ) 5) CLICK TRH YAHOO/NIFTY CHAT: THIS WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 15 th. 2006! 8:00 to 9:00 p.m. (note it does seem to go until Midnight usually) The Road Home: Part Twenty-One (Greet the Parents!) Tyler came back from his morning run with three double-chocolate hot chocolates and a bag of cinnamon buns. By the time he entered his room he was down to one hot chocolate and two cinnamon buns. Tyler began packing for his trip to Baltimore. He decided he should have one set of good clothing plus a tie for dinner on Thursday. He started a list of things to do today. He needed to pick up some Folger's Singles coffee bags, buy a frame for one of his drawings, buy some wrapping paper, pick up peanut butter and get a haircut. He pushed the start button on his coffee machine and then stripped down to go take a shower. Derek was sitting up in bed with his legs dangling over the side when Tyler returned wrapped in a towel. "Aaahhhh!" Derek said, as he saw Tyler's face. "Yeah. I know. The guys in security asked me if I got mugged for cinnamon buns!" Tyler said laughing. "Shit! The side of your face looks like. shit?" Derek said. Tyler handed up Derek's hot chocolate and the bag with two cinnamon buns in it. "You really know how to sweet talk a guy, Derek!" Tyler said. "Sorry, how does it feel?" Derek asked. "Actually it doesn't really hurt. Just a little tender." Tyler said. "Mom's gonna freak out when she sees it!" Derek said. "Don't worry, we can handle the Mom as you call her!" Tyler said pulling his towel off. "Aren't you going to classes this morning Derek?" "Ummm, hadn't decided. What about you?" Derek asked. "Three of my four classes are unofficially cancelled since most have already left for home or are going this morning, but I have to check in with my Calculus Professor to see if class is still on at noon. I have a few errands to run also before we leave." Tyler said. Derek jumped down from his bed and stretched. "I think I will skip all my classes today and just hang out with you." Derek smiled. "You're going to be stuck with me all this week. You really think that is a wise thing to do?" Tyler asked while packing and still naked. "Don't worry, I won't see much of you once my brothers get their claws into you!" Derek laughed. "Yeah, I can't wait to see them! Luke is wonderful! He's not even on the planet from what I can tell." Tyler said. "Yeah, Lukey calls it like he sees it! He has no shame and doesn't care what anyone thinks. It's always been a problem for Mom and Dad when they go anywhere with him. They're afraid that Luke is going to say something he shouldn't!" Derek laughed. "And he usually does!" The coffee machine had finished and beeped that it was done. Tyler poured a mug of coffee for himself and sat down at his computer. "Anything special I need in clothing for Thanksgiving Day?" Tyler asked. "Nope! I would recommend you go as you're dressed right now!" Derek smiled. Tyler realized he was completely naked. "Shit! Sorry." He said grabbing some clean boxers. "No, it's alright Ty. I was just thinking that Mom wouldn't notice your eye as much. if at all?" Derek laughed. "That's sick, Derek! Funny, but sick! Now I know where your brothers get it from!" Tyler said. "Wait until Thanksgiving Day dinner! You won't believe what's gonna happen!" Derek said. "What happens?" Tyler asked. "Well Dad does this thing where we go around the table. Nope. I'm not telling. Wait and see!" Derek said grinning. "It's unlike anything you've ever experienced before!" "Great." Tyler said unenthusiastically. "You're really going to hang out with me and follow me around?" Tyler asked. "If you don't want me to go I can just stay here. though I will be all alone. with nothing to do." Derek whined. "Fine, come along but we are leaving in less than 30 minutes!" Tyler said. "No problem. I'm gonna stay here and watch Regis and Kelly then!" Derek said. Tyler headed out to the nearest Wegmans for Folger's coffee singles and some wrapping paper, a card, and then to a local art store to purchase a frame to put one of his drawings in. He passed by a store called "Signature's Hair Salon" and figured he would give it a try. It was just after eight o'clock and the neon sign said Open so he figured it was worth a shot. "Yes. Sir?" The receptionist said staring at his face. "Hi, I am in need of a hair cut and wondering if you had anyone available. I realize I don't have an appointment but I am heading out of town this afternoon!" Tyler said gazing down at row of male and female hair stylists. "Let me see." She said looking at the appointment book. "Why Hello!" said a young man with an overtly effeminate voice. "Hi! I'm Tyler!" He said extending his hand. The young man with blond spiky hair and black and white polka dot shirt shook Tyler's hand. "I realize I don't have an appointment but I am going out of town and I was wondering if you could fit me in?" Tyler smiled. "Well. I don't know if I could fit you in, but I would certainly be willing to try!" He winked. "I'm Andrew! Your stylist du jour!" He said with a slight lisp. "Hi Andrew, thank you for trying!" Tyler winked. Andrew placed his hand around Tyler's shoulder and guided him down to his chair. All the other stylists carefully watched him! Andrew just made little faces at them all unbeknownst to Tyler. "Now Tyler, how did you get that big nasty bruise?" Andrew asked as he turned the water on in his sink to begin washing his hair. "I fell down!" Tyler said. "How many times?" Andrew asked laughing. "Is that a standard joke in this part of America?" Tyler asked. "Ahhhh. I need to come up with something more original then. So you are not from around here?" Andrew asked. "No, I'm from Toronto, but I'm going to Drexel." Tyler responded. "Drexel? Lot's of hotties there!" Andrew said. "Yes there are! I'm on the hockey team, so you can believe there is no shortage!" Tyler smiled and winked. Andrew cooed with excitement! "How old are you Tyler?" "I'm 19. I'm here on a engineering scholarship but they want me to play hockey to help improve the team." Tyler said playing up to Andrew. "Ooooooo, a star player then?" Andrew said spinning Tyler around and lowering his chair. "I guess? Apparently I'm the number one scorer in the Eastern Atlantic Division!" "And how do you do in hockey?" Andrew teased! "Almost as well, Andrew!" Tyler winked. "You said you were going away; so where are you off to for Thanksgiving Day?" Andrew asked. "I'm going to Baltimore with my boyfriend to spend it with his parents and two brothers!" Tyler said, trying to sound casual but he was pissing himself inside with excitement. "Ohhh. You have a boy friend? Too Bad! I know someone who would be perfect for you!" Andrew said. "Really! Who's that?" Tyler asked. "Me!" Andrew giggled as he ran his fingers through Tyler's hair. With Tyler lying stretched out in the chair Andrew had a good chance to check out Tyler's package. He gave his standard signal to the other stylists that Tyler was definitely worth checking out. One of the other stylists mouthed to Andrew "is he?" and Andrew nodded his head up and down smiling. When Andrew finished washing his hair he carefully wrapped the towel over Tyler's head covering his eyes so the others could grab a closer look. Tyler could see the lights through his towel and figured what was happening so he gave himself a little scratch. Andrew spun his chair around before sitting him up and removing the towel. "Have you met your boyfriends parent's before?" Andrew asked. "Just on the first weekend he moved into my dorm room, when they all came to dinner the next night at the restaurant where I work. I love them all! They're all bright and funny. Especially Derek's two younger brothers! "That sounds great, Tyler. I'm happy for you. even if I'm jealous!" Andrew said. "Now what would you like me to do with your hair?" "Anything you want to Andrew! I was going to have it shaved down to about a half inch but if you have something better in mind I am open for it!" Tyler said. "Open for it huh?" Andrew winked and Tyler laughed. "I walked into that one didn't I?" Tyler said. "Oh, I so wish you would, Tyler!" Andrew joked. "I think you have that Tom Cruise Air Force look about you! How about I shave down the sides and back to about a quarter inch and we leave the top uncut?" Andrew said. "But my top is already uncut!" Tyler winked. "Yes, I noticed already!" Andrew winked. "Damn, you really are a professional, aren't you Andrew?" "You better believe it and I'm a damn good hair stylist too!" They both laughed. Andrew spiked and gelled Tyler's hair and then combed it over to the right side. Tyler looked in the mirror when Andrew finished and thought he looked more professional and a little less like a college freshman. "Now let's do something about that eye!" Andrew insisted. "I'm just going to put a little bit of cover over it so it won't be quite so obvious." Andrew gently applied a skin tone facial mask to Tyler's cheek and eye. When he finished Tyler looked in the hand held mirror and thought he looked more like the bruise happened a week ago. "Here Tyler, you keep this, I can always get more. It will help you get through the week with your boyfriend's parents! They're probably going to think their son beat you up!" Andrew laughed. "Actually, that is exactly what happened! But it was all a misunderstanding." Tyler said. Andrew held his hand to his mouth. "My God, Tyler! He must be a brute! You're so strong and muscular. how could anyone even get a shot in?" "Well, he is the Drexel Dragon's wide receiver so you can bet he is strong!" Tyler said. "He'd have to be a wide receiver with you for a boyfriend!" Andrew laughed. "Thank you for the haircut, Andrew." Tyler said, standing up and adjusting his equipment for Andrew's viewing pleasure. Andrew pulled Tyler in for a hug and Tyler slid a twenty-dollar bill into his back pocket. "So what restaurant is it that you work at Tyler?" Andrew asked as he released Tyler. "Ciccone's Trattoria down in the market. I work Friday and Saturday nights!" Tyler said as they both walked up to the front counter. "Well don't be surprised if one Friday night me and the girls back there drop by for dinner!" Andrew smiled. "That would be great! I would love to personally service you there!" Tyler joked. "Are all the girls still watching us?" Tyler asked. Andrew looked back and said "Uh huh!" Tyler wrapped his arm around Andrew and planted a firm kiss on the lips and then said thanks for the cut and winked. "That should stir up some feathers back in the coop?" Tyler asked. "Oh my yes! I'm going to have so much fun with them today! Thanks Tyler! Please come back again and don't worry about an appointment!" Andrew said, writing his home phone number on the back of his calling card and then handing it to him. "Next time I will try to bring Derek along and we'll tell them that both of us only want to have your fingers in our hair!" Tyler said. "You are so bad! I could just take you home with me right now!" Andrew laughed. Tyler paid for his cut and headed back to the University. Tyler parked and grabbed his purchases. He walked over to the Science building to see if Professor Klein was holding a class today. A portly balding gentleman with curly white hair wearing a 1970's smoking jacket with leather-patched elbows was sitting at a small desk digging through his briefcase. His hands had as much chalk on them as the blackboard behind him. "Good Morning, Professor Klein!" Tyler said. "Good Morning." He said. "I was just wondering if we were still having a Calculus class today at noon?" Tyler asked. "Thinking of skipping everyone's favourite class?" The Professor laughed aloud. "My, what happened to you eye?" "I fell down and please don't ask how many times? It's starting to wear on me!" Tyler laughed. "Is the other guy still alive?" Professor Klein smiled. "Yes Sir, very much alive and no Sir, I like Calculus! I love derivatives! Not to mention that I shoot a better game of pool now because of your class so I am not thinking of skipping class!" Tyler said smiling. "Now that is the kind of compliment that makes all my years of teaching worthwhile!" Professor Klein laughed. "But the liking derivatives part is just weird. even for me!" "With the storm coming, I didn't know if you were still holding a class? Every other class has been cancelled." Tyler asked. "Well. Let me just say this. There is a surprise quiz for those who show up!" Professor Klein said. "It's not a hard quiz but it counts and those that don't show up get a zero! On a positive note, once you finish the quiz you are free to go!" Professor Klein smiled. "Thank you, Sir! I unofficially appreciate what you are not telling me." Tyler smiled and left. As he was going down the stairs he saw the big green glowing purse and its owner coming up from the flight below. He couldn't make it to the floor and escape and he couldn't turn around because of all of the people behind him. The moment Amber caught sight of Tyler she held her hand to her face and gasped! Tyler walked by and said "BITCH!" Amber headed down the stairs after Tyler. She came running up behind him and grabbed his arm. "Oh my God! I'm so sorry, Tyler. I didn't know Derek would hurt you!" Amber said. "I guess you didn't think that far ahead, did you? I already know that you are aware of what happened so don't waste your fake sympathies on me! I know about a guard being placed to protect you from Derek and I even know about you and a now fired security guard! Don't worry about Derek, worry about me!!!" Tyler yelled. "I would never hit or hurt a woman. I wouldn't even hit you, but you better believe the entire football team is going to know what you did! I think you'll regret the day you crossed my path!" Tyler turned and stormed off. He stopped at the security desk and picked up the mail. There was only one letter and it was from his Uncle David's law firm. Tyler slammed the door to his room shut as he came in. Derek jumped from the sound. "Something wrong?" Derek squeaked out in a low voice. "Nothing's wrong! I ran into your Amber, though! Too bad I wasn't driving at the time!" Tyler said. Derek didn't say anything. "Don't you want to know what happened? Tyler asked. "Well. no. I just want to know if you are okay. I don't care what happens to Amber. You're all that matters to me, Tyler." Derek said. "Why do you do that?" Tyler yelled. "Do what?" Derek asked. "Say the right thing at the right time! I liked you better when you were an asshole!" Tyler said with a grin. Derek got up and walked over to Tyler and hugged him. "I like your haircut! Makes you look. professional?" Derek said. "SHUT UP Derek!" Tyler said. "What did I do now?" Derek asked. "You said exactly what I was thinking when I looked in the mirror at the salon! The new Derek is really starting to bug me!" Tyler laughed. "Want the old Derek back?" Derek said laughing. "I just want the real Derek in my life." Tyler said flipping through his sketchbook for his drawing of the Anderson family under the tree in front of Boyd House. Tyler opened up his letter from his Uncle David. It included a certified check for $5000.00 in U.S. funds. Uncle David wrote that the probate of his Father's will was completed and he thought Tyler should have some money in his account for emergencies or fun! Tyler tore up his letter into small pieces and tossed it in the recycling bin. Derek watched as he inserted the check back into the envelope it came in. "I need to stop at a Bank of America on our way out of town." Tyler said, as he opened up the back of the frame to insert the picture. "Do you think we should leave a little earlier? It's already starting to snow." Derek asked. "We can't. I have a surprise Calculus test at noon!" Tyler said. "Really? Who the fuck gives a test, and a surprise test at that, two days before Thanksgiving Day?" Derek asked. "A really smart Professor if you think about it! He won't have many to mark." Tyler laughed. "Do you need to study for it?" Derek asked. "Nope. I'll do okay I think. He said it wouldn't be hard and we could leave as soon as we are done." Tyler said inserting the back panel back into the frame. "What do you think?" Tyler said, holding up the framed picture for Derek to look at. "Shit! That's incredible!" Derek said. "You think your parents will like it?" Tyler asked. "You're giving them a present?" Derek asked. "I wanted to do something to say thank you for inviting me over!" Tyler said. "Tyler, they don't want presents. They want you! They don't even care if I come!" Derek joked. "Don't say that, Derek! You know they love you." Tyler said. "Ummm, Ty, it's 11:50! Shouldn't you be going?" Derek said. "Shit, Shit, Shit! I'll be back as soon as I can!" Tyler said grabbing the bag with one cinnamon bun left and running out the door. Derek slid over and picked up the envelope. He carefully slid the cheque out. "Holy Shit! $5000.00?" He gasped. It was signed David Peel. "His brother wrote him a cheque for five thousand dollars?" Derek said aloud. Derek slid the cheque back in to the envelope and retuned it exactly where he found it. Tyler was out of breath when he ran into the classroom and came to a sudden stop. He saw Professor Klein sitting at his desk, but the classroom was empty! "Professor! Sir?" Tyler said. "Ah. so someone actually wants to pass my class?" The Professor laughed. Professor Klein held out one test paper for Tyler to retrieve. Tyler grabbed the test paper and in exchange handed the Professor the bag with the cinnamon bun. Professor Klein looked into the bag and laughed, "Bribing the teach with a cinnamon bun will get you everywhere!" "I won it shooting pool, Sir!" Tyler winked and began his test. It was only five questions and there was a hand written bonus question at the bottom that read, "For two bonus marks, tell me how this Class has improved your life?" Tyler burst out laughing and the Professor looked up smiling knowing that Tyler read the question. Tyler's answer was, "I now drink for free when I shot pool!" Tyler handed his paper in to Professor Klein and wished him a Happy Thanksgiving Day. "Are you going home for Thanksgiving Day, Mr. .. Peel?" The Professor asked, looking at his test to find his name. "No Sir. I am from Canada and we celebrate ours back in October, but I have been invited to Baltimore to share in my first American Thanksgiving!" Tyler boasted! "Excellent, Mr. Peel! It is truly a great holiday to partake in and as far as hangovers go. a turkey hangover is one I can still handle, and if you get to eat any 'pah-cahn' pie think of me!" Professor Klein smiled. "Have a great holiday, Sir! Maybe I can buy you a game of pool when the semester is over?" Tyler asked. The Professor smiled, shaking his head, and waved Tyler out of the room. "How did the test go?" Derek asked. "Really good! I may have even gotten over 100%! I think he will mark it lightly because I was the only one who showed up." Tyler said, smiling. "Are you doing your Professor?" Derek laughed. "Like I would tell you?" Tyler joked. "Let's get out of here. The snow is really coming down!" Derek said. "Okay, just let me finish packing! Do I need jammies?" Tyler asked laughing. "Only if you leave my bedroom!" Derek winked. "Kyle said I was sleeping with him." Tyler teased. "Kyle's going to be in a body cast." Derek laughed. "Can you do the driving, Derek?" Tyler asked. "You bet! I love driving your Jeep! It's awesome!" Derek said, jumping up with excitement." After making stops at the Bank and a grocery store to pick up a special jar of peanut butter for Luke, they made their way on to I-95 South to Baltimore before 3 p.m. After travelling about 4 miles the traffic jam started because of the white outs. Almost 4 hours later, the weather completely cleared and the snowploughs exited the freeway allowing traffic to pick up speed. When they drove up Derek's street in the outskirts of Baltimore, Tyler's mouth fell open. "Holy Shit! Look at these mansions?" Tyler said. "It's just my street, Ty." Derek said, putting the signal on to turn into the driveway on the far right side of the property. Tyler was speechless. Two lion's heads atop of pillars guarded the front of the Anderson house. A wrought iron fence followed the front of the property and along each side. The driveway made of interlocking brick followed up an incline to a circle in front of the house with a fountain in the center of it. There was a three-car garage on the right side of the house and from all appearances there were three stories from ground level. The house was bricked in three colours of stone and some of the windows had diamond patterns of steel embedded in the glass. Carved pumpkins randomly placed on different steps implied that friendly, but moderately crazy people lived here. Luke had carved his spewing pumpkin face with all of its innards hanging out of its mouth. There were interlocking brick steps going up to the double front door, with lights set in certain bricks so that visitors could safely make their way up in the dark. Manicured mini-gardens adorned the front lawn sporadically through out and one hundred plus year old trees seemed to protect the house from harm. Ivy had grown up the front left side of the house and was slowly devouring the brick mansion. Larry and Linda where in the kitchen doing dishes when they heard both boys come running down the stairs to get to the front door. Luke yelled 'They're here, they're here!' "Santa arriving early this year?" Linda joked. "I knew they would arrive the moment we finished the dishes!" Larry said. "Don't worry honey, you still need lots more practice!" Linda said, kissing Larry's cheek. "Let's go collect our four boys!" Derek pulled up in front of the garage door on the far right. Tyler's head was twisted around looking up when Derek put the snow covered Jeep in park. "Holy shit! I don't believe this place!" Tyler said, opening his door. Kyle beat Luke in the race to the Jeep. Kyle went around to the passenger side once he saw that Derek had been driving. He pulled Tyler out of his seat and wrapped his arms around him. "I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!" He said kissing him. "I've missed you too Kyle. 123! Hey, you've got your cast off!" Tyler said releasing him. "Yeah, been getting my arm back in shape if you know what I mean?" Kyle winked. "Go see your brother!" Tyler said shaking his head. Kyle ran back around to hug Derek. Luke jumped out of Derek's arms and ran around to see Tyler. He jumped up into Tyler's arms saying "Eeeeewwwww! What happened to your face?" Tyler laughed. "I missed you too, Luke! What the hell is on your shirt?" Tyler said letting Luke down. Luke stretched his shirt out so Tyler could read it. "Join the Army! Make new friends, travel the world, and kill some people!" Tyler roared! "I hope you don't wear that to school?" Luke winked. Larry and Linda made their way to Derek's side of the Jeep. "Oh Honey, welcome home! We've missed you so much!" Linda said squeezing and hugging and holding her first-born. "Lies! All lies. It's been one endless party since you left!" Larry said, breaking them up to hug Derek. Linda swatted Larry on the back. Larry whispered in Derek's ear, "I've missed you so much, Son!" "Me too Dad, more than you would believe!" Derek said, holding his Dad just as tight. Tyler walked around the Jeep carrying Luke in his arms with Luke's legs wrapped around his waist. When Linda saw his face she said, "OH MY GOD! What happened?" As she went up to Tyler, he set Luke down. "I fell down!" Tyler said, as Linda place each hand on his face. "The elevator shaft?" Linda said. Larry released Derek and they both looked over. "Hey Tyler, that's a new one!" Derek joked. "No Ma'am, I fell backwards over the loveseat and hit my face on the 5-drawer chest. Kind of stupid of me. I wasn't looking out for myself." Tyler said, staring at Derek. Linda turned around and gave Derek a quick look. Larry chuckled to himself, knowing the truth. "Tyler, have you been to a Doctor about that eye?" Larry asked. "No Sir, but it is healing really well considering it only happened 24 hours ago." Tyler said. "Yeah Dad, Tyler was much uglier yesterday. if that's possible!" Derek joked and Tyler laughed. "That's Derek One." Luke started to say. Larry and Linda both said at the same time, "SHUT UP, LUKE!" Linda wrapped her arm around Tyler's waist and guided him up to the house. "Boys, grab Tyler's things, please!" "Ma'am, I can carry my own stuff. I am really fine. It just looks worse than it is." Tyler pleaded. "Of course it is. you're such a strong boy! So brave!" Tyler looked back at the three boys giggling at him. He was trapped in The Mom's web for the next few days, like it or not! Kyle and Luke started making snowballs with the snow on the Jeep and throwing them at each other. "Boys, if either of you hit me with a." SMACK! Luke's snowball hit Larry in the back. "Sorry Dad! I was aiming at Kyle and you got in the way. You need to be more careful!" Luke grinned. "BOYS! Help get Tyler and Derek's things into the house!" Larry yelled. Linda opened the door to the grand front foyer. The floor was seamlessly tiled in black and white marble. A curved staircase started at the right side of the room and followed up to the left where an open walkway headed left to the master bedroom and right to the boy's rooms and washrooms. In the centre of the foyer was a large round antique table with a huge vase filled with dried flowers. Centered above the table was a chandelier of triangular prisms. Tyler figured there were probably over 100 of them up there. He wondered how you ever changed a bulb? To the left of the foyer was the living room. It contained a floor to ceiling fireplace at the front of the house and floor to ceiling library at the other end of the room. There was a sliding staircase that permitted access to any of the shelves and slid back and forth across the end of the room. Looking up to the right from the entrance to the living room was an open area on the second floor, which exposed a sitting area in the master bedroom that would allow Linda and Larry to watch the fireplace below. To the right of the foyer was another set of French doors that opened into a dining room with a table that sat twelve people. There was a five window panelled buffet with a hutch that matched the table, chairs, sideboard, curio cabinet, and liquor/stereo unit. Underneath the top of the curved staircase was the entrance to the kitchen and 'great room' as Linda called it. It was an open concept with a large L shaped kitchen that contained a quarter pie shaped island with bar stools on the far side and every possible electronic gadget known to man. There was a chef's professional KitchenAid gas grill and oven, two large double door refrigerators, two microwave ovens, and an assortment of kitchen gadgets. The kitchen was painted in Caribbean Blue Sea with Lime green accents and a black counter tops. Two large marble slabs were inset, one in the counter top along the wall and the other in the island. There was a large rectangular piece of stainless steel placed in the island with a button in the centre. Tyler pushed the button and a multi-purpose blender-mixer rose up from underneath the counter top. "Whoa!" Tyler said, pushing the button again to make it go back down. The Great Room had an abundance of leather sofas and chaise lounges along with fabric covered club chairs, coffee and end tables and another floor to ceiling fireplace. Tyler didn't know how large the big screen TV was but he figured it had to be 60 inches! Straight on out from the kitchen and Great Room was the solarium that had an exit to the patio, which contained barbequing equipment that would make Angelo cry. There was an 11-seater hot tub, Tyler would later find out, a beach volleyball court with six inches of sand, and a chipping and putting green for Larry. The only part of the house that garnered Tyler's attention away was the sound of Abbey scratching at the back door to be let in. "May I let her in?" Tyler begged Linda. "Go right ahead, Tyler!" she said, and Tyler ran to the sliding glass doors off the solarium to allow Abbey in. Abbey wagged her tail and took a couple of cautious sniffs at Tyler's extended fist. He knew to always make a fist in case the dog went to bite. Tyler had almost lost an eye and didn't want to lose any fingers. "Hey girl! How are you? I'm Tyler!" He said rubbing her ears. Abbey leaned into Tyler as he kissed the top of her head and she returned the love with some facial licking. "You're so beautiful!" Tyler said. Abbey's infatuation with Tyler soon ended when she heard Derek's familiar voice call. "Abbey? Abbey? C'mere girl!" Derek called. Abbey barked and took off like a rocket. She was beside herself seeing Derek at the entrance to the kitchen. Derek got right down on the floor with her and began petting and kissing her. "Looks like she has a favourite?" Tyler said to Linda. "Most definitely! They are best friends! We waited until Kyle was old enough to be safe near dogs. She must be. eleven years old?" Linda said asking no one in particular. "She's been Derek's dog since day one! She was quite upset when we got back from Philly without Derek. Abbey hardly left his bed for the first week he was gone. Luke, and especially Kyle, have stepped up and taken over. I think it's been good for all of them. She actually gets more attention from Kyle than she ever got from Derek but she's known Derek the longest." Linda guided Tyler over to one of the wooden bar stools while Derek was in his own little world with Abbey. "He looks like a boy who just got a puppy for Christmas!" Tyler said. "I miss my dog so much right now." "What kind of dog do you have, Tyler?" Linda asked. "A chocolate lab! His name is Tucker" Tyler said flipping open his cell phone to show her Tucker's picture. "He's beautiful, Tyler!" Linda said. "So tell me. how did you actually get the black eye?" She winked at him. Tyler stiffened his body and froze. "Just as I said Ma'am, I fell backwards over the loveseat as I was picking up my sleeping bag off the floor. I twisted and hit my face on my chest of drawers." Tyler said in all seriousness. "Tyler, you need to stop calling me 'Ma'am'! I'm really not that old even though I might look it!" She said laughing. "Yes Ma'am! Umm I mean, Mrs. Anderson. Sorry I was just raised that way!" Tyler said. "What are you going to do when Larry's parents get here?" She winked. "Ummm. Ma'am?" Tyler said, "I mean, Mrs. Anderson?" "I didn't know they were coming!" Tyler said. "Yes Tyler, every Thanksgiving we have his parents over and then we have my Father over at Christmas. They both rotate around the families during holidays." Linda said, "But don't look so worried, I was only teasing you! You can call me anything you like but Linda or even Mom is just fine with me, okay?" Linda said. "Yes Ma'am!" Tyler said and they both began laughing. Luke ran into the kitchen and opened up a cabinet under the counter top. "Mom, it's almost 8 o'clock!" Luke announced. Tyler could see wall-to-wall jars of peanut butter. He grabbed the purple coloured lid and tried to open it. Luke ran around to Tyler and asked him if he would open it. "8 o'clock?" Tyler asked Linda. "Time for his eight p.m. snack! Luke lives by the clock and has his own regimented routine! God help any one of us who mess it up, too!" Linda laughed. "Purple peanut butter?" Tyler asked. "Yes Tyler, it's chocolate-peanut butter flavoured. If Kraft makes anything with peanut butter in it we probably have it!" Linda laughed. Luke ignored his mother's remarks and grabbed two slices of white bread, a plate, and a knife. He came over to Tyler and held up his arms. "Lucas! You can get up on your own chair!" Linda said. Luke just ignored his mother and sat up on Tyler's lap. Tyler wrapped one arm around Luke's waist and held him while he created the thickest peanut butter sandwich on the planet! "You know, Luke, have you ever thought of putting that on Reese's Peanut Butter cups?" Tyler said. "Please! Tyler! Don't encourage him!" Linda laughed. "Nope!" Luke said. "I usually put the peanut butter cups in the sandwich!" He said taking his first bite and trying to say the word 'milk' but it wouldn't come out right. "What's that honey?" Linda said. "He needs some milk!" Tyler said. "Tyler, you're going to make a great Daddy!" Linda teased, getting up to pour Luke some milk. "Would you like something to drink, Tyler?" Linda asked. "Maybe some boiling water?" Tyler asked and Linda shook her head and stared at him. "Boiling water?" She asked. "Yes Ma'am. I brought some Folger's coffee singles! I live on them!" He laughed. "How about a nice pot of pure Brazilian coffee? I love Folger's singles as well. I take them with me whenever we travel, but this is much better!" She said making a pot of coffee. Tyler kissed the back of Luke's head while he was eating and Luke grabbed Tyler's arm that was holding him and squeezed it three times. Luke twisted his head around and winked at Tyler. Tyler smiled back. Larry and Kyle entered the kitchen and Luke held up his sandwich to offer Tyler a bite but Tyler shook his head. "Wow! Luke offering to share his peanut butter sandwich? He's never done that before!" Kyle teased and Luke tried to flip the bird at Kyle so only he would see but Larry saw it as well. Larry glared at him and shook his head. Luke mouthed the word 'sorry' and lowered his head long enough to make Larry think that he was actually sorry. "Ty, c'mon and see my room!" Kyle said pulling him down from the bar stool. Luke followed Tyler and Kyle until Linda yelled for him to carry a plate under that sandwich. Kyle pulled Tyler by the hand that was followed by Luke and the peanut butter sandwich that attracted Abbey who left Derek's embrace! "What the hell! I might as well go too!" Derek grumbled and his parents laughed. Tyler climbed every second step up the staircase as Kyle did. A single red rose was embroidered into every step of the carpet on the left and right sides of the curved staircase. As he topped the stairs, Kyle pulled him to his right along the hallway. Tyler paused as vertigo began to set in looking down into the foyer. Luke, following behind, shoved Tyler forward. "Move it, soldier! Maggots don't stop and gawk!" Luke teased. Tyler turned and grabbed Luke picking him up! "Be good, Commander or I won't give you the little present I bought you!" Tyler teased. "YOU GOT ME A PRESENT? What did ya get me?" Luke said with a mouthful! "Let's hope the army phase passes faster than the 'I wanna be a rap star' phase!" Derek said from behind them. "Later, Luke!" Tyler kissed his cheek and set him down. The first door on the left was a bathroom. A creamy marble floor with matching marble vanity and tiled walls seemed to go on forever. The bathtub was a small hot tub in Tyler's opinion. At the far back corner was an enclosed area that hid a European toilet. A wall of 10 showerheads pointing in multiple directions was encased in a series of glass walls. The pie wedge shape design had entry and exit doors on each side. Three or four people could easily shower together Tyler figured. The soaps and shampoos had built in wall dispensers and a series of mini steps that encased the bathtub had white candles all around it and even into the bay window that surrounded the wall side of the tub. "Do you invite your hockey team over here to shower, Luke?" Tyler joked. "Nah. not until they let me play on a girl's team!" Luke smiled. "Lucas! You're eleven years old!" Tyler said. "Going on forty, Dad says!" Luke responded. "Word!" Tyler laughed. The first bedroom next to the bathroom was Luke's! "Oh. My. God. Is that what I think it is?" Tyler asked. "It's my bedroom!" Luke said pushing his way past Tyler into his room. "No Shit? I wouldn't have guessed if it weren't for the wall of empty peanut butter jars! Tyler said laughing. Tyler couldn't really tell what colour the wall in Luke's bedroom was because almost every square inch of it was covered with something on it. There was a modular corner desk wall unit and a single-double bunkbed in the room. A small TV sat on top of a chest of drawers with a loveseat beanbag in front of it. Hockey posters and Lindsay Lohan posters covered the walls except for the one wall dedicated to glass shelves holding hockey trophies, pictures, pennants, and medals from school sports. There was a Washington Redskins' oval rug on top of his hardwood floor, a Sponge Bob comforter on his bed, and even the drapes were made with tiny Redskin's logos though out. Tyler noticed that his backpack was sitting on the beanbag loveseat. "Ever have those jars fall down?" Tyler asked, leaning against Luke's door. "Only a couple of times but the cleaning lady put them back up after she knocked them down." Luke told him. "Mom says she no longer needs to clean his room after she threatened to quit because of it." Kyle added. Everyone laughed. "This is just creepy! Very cool Luke, but creepy!" Tyler laughed. "Of course it is, Ty!" Luke said smiling. Tyler took a second look at Luke. "C'mon and see my room!" Kyle said. "It's kind of boring compared to Luke's, though!" "Times Square is kind of boring compared to Luke's room!" Tyler said, picking Luke up and carrying him down the hall to Kyle's bedroom. "Don't get peanut butter all over me, okay Luke?" Tyler asked. "Like I would waste peanut butter on your shirt!" Luke responded. Kyle's room was across the hall from Luke's room but his doorway was at the end of the hall by the entrance to Derek's room and the walk-in linen closet. Kyle's room was painted in a medium colour of purple. He had stars painted on the black ceiling and a few posters of skaters on the wall. He had the matching desk unit to Luke's, but his was a flat wall cabinet that included two bookcases and a TV entertainment unit. He had a much bigger TV, PlayStation 2, X-Box, stereo, and a collection of model airplanes he had made. Tyler also noticed the baseball card collection and hoped he could look through it. He also had a beanbag loveseat though it was in dark purple to coordinate with the room. Kyle's bed was a double size with a complete shiny black bedroom suite and walk in closet. "This is really. different!" Tyler said. Kyle frowned. "I like it Kyle! It just isn't what I expected you to have." Tyler said, setting Luke down and giving Kyle a hug. Tyler noticed that his suit pack and one of his suitcases was sitting on Kyle's bed. "What were you expecting, Ty?" Kyle asked. "Probably a ton of broken skate boards mounted on the walls and bunch of pictures of you skating!" Tyler said. "Cool! I never thought of using my broken skateboards as shelves!" Kyle smiled. "Maybe you and I can put some up if your parents think it is okay?" Tyler said with arm around Kyle. "Hey Luke, ever thought about figuring a way to put a single Christmas light in each of those plastic peanut butter jars?" Tyler asked. "WOW! Great idea! I could put blinking ones or all one colour!" Luke said as he wandered off the planet to figure out how to make Tyler's idea come to life. Tyler kept staring at the ceiling and Kyle said, "At night, when you turn on my black lights, you can see the stars light up!" "Ummm wow?" Tyler said, giving Kyle another hug. "Want to come see our room, Ty?" Derek said, standing at the door with Abbey beside him wagging her tail. "Our room?" Kyle said. "He's staying in my room!!!!" He yelled. "No, he's staying in my room! I am the only one with two beds!" Luke chipped in. "Guys! He's staying in my room! But Tyler, you can sleep wherever you want!" Derek said rolling his eyes. "Guys, don't do this to me!" Tyler pleaded. "Fine!" Luke said. "He can stay one night in each of our rooms! "Luke, I'm not sleeping in the upper bunk!" Tyler said. "It's my room. you'll sleep where I tell you!" Luke winked. "I'm just joking Ty, you can have the bottom bed with me!" Luke grinned and Kyle glared at him. Derek smiled and nodded for Tyler to follow into his room. Derek's room had a large queen size bed in it. He had military steel blue walls with navy mini-blinds. The room paid homage to his 19 years. There were pictures of him from a baby up to his high school graduation photo and his prom date. He had the same glass shelves that Luke had, but his were filled with football trophies. He also had three different football jerseys hanging on the wall that were encased in glass and framed. There were about 10 different footballs on the glass shelves as well. His room was the largest of the three and he had positioned his empty computer desk to face his doorway so no one could see his computer. He had a black leather loveseat in front of his desk that pointed towards a wall unit that contained a TV, PS2 video game console, and stereo with 5-foot speakers on each side. His comforter was a collage of every colour imaginable. He had a set of free weights, a bench, and bike machine over in one corner next to a double door walk-in closet. The door to the bathroom was opened and when Tyler peeked inside he could see it connected to Kyle's room. It contained all of the basic necessities of any full washroom but with two large sinks in the vanity. The toilet was set in one corner with a pair of western swing doors on it so that more than one person could use the washroom. What really impressed Tyler was the stand-up urinal! "Wow, what a great bathroom!" Tyler said. "That's all you have to say about my bedroom?" Derek laughed. "No, no! Not at all! It's really something. There's just so much to take in. Your entire life's history is written and recorded here." Tyler said. Tyler picked up one of Derek's baby pictures and said, "Damn, you were cute when they brought you home from the zoo!" Luke and Kyle laughed and Derek just grinned. "I have to tell all three of you that it is really a great honour to be allowed into your home. You know that each of rooms is very different but yet they all give off the same vibe. You all love each other above the teasing and the jokes. That makes me really happy to be here. It feels like home." Tyler said. Kyle wrapped his arms around him and said, "You're a part of our family now, Ty. This is your home too!" "So I can't bill him for a night's stay in the morning?" Luke said with a straight face and then burst out laughing. "I am sooooo drinking five litres of water before bed tonight Luke!" Tyler said. "Noooooo!" Luke laughed and joined in a three-way hug. "Why don't you guys go find something to do so Tyler and I can get settled in." Derek said. "Be right back, Derek. I need to gather my stuff up from the other rooms." Tyler said. "BOYS! I've got some dinner ready for you!" Linda yelled from the foyer. "Thanks, Mom! We'll be right there!" Derek yelled back. Tyler returned with his belongings and hung up his suit pack in Derek's closet. He opened up his two bags and began unpacking his shirts and presents for the family. "Do you think this is the right time to give them their presents or should I wait?" Tyler asked. "Depends." Derek said. "Depends on what?" Tyler asked. "Depends on what you brought me?" Derek asked grinning. "You'll get your present. let's see. Today is Tuesday with Luke, tomorrow is Wednesday with Kyle. you'll get your present Thursday!" Tyler winked. Tyler went up behind and Derek and wrapped his arms around his waist. "Thank you for inviting me. I love being here with your family and especially with you!" Tyler kissed the back of his neck and Derek moaned placing his hands on top of Tyler's hands. "Don't start something I can stop!" Derek said turning around. They heard someone come running down the hall and they separated. "Guys! Mom's got dinner waiting for ya!" Luke said. Tyler grabbed three wrapped packages and took them downstairs following Derek who was carrying Luke on his back. "Buck me one more time, Cowboy, and I'll toss you over the stairs!" Derek said. Luke whispered in the back of his ear, "I'm glad you're home Derek." "Me too, Lukey. Me too!" Derek said, and he squeezed under Luke's legs three times. As they entered the kitchen the smell was enticing. "Sit down, boys! Tyler, I hope you like Chicken 'n Dumplings?" Linda said. "Yes Ma'am! I haven't had that in ages!" Tyler said. "Well it probably isn't as good as your Mom makes but it always seems to get eaten around here!" Linda said, setting two large bowls down in front of two bar stools. Kyle sat on Tyler's left side and Luke sat on Derek's right side. Larry and Linda were leaning on the counter, on the other side of the island. Linda was having a glass of white wine and Larry had a bottle of Michelob beer. "What would you like to drink, Tyler?" Linda asked. "Anything would be great, Mrs. Anderson, as long as it doesn't have strawberries in it!" Tyler said. "You don't like strawberries?" Linda asked. "No Ma'am, I love them but they don't like me. I'll be dead in about an hour if I eat one. I'm also allergic to oatmeal but it won't kill me. just make me wish I was dead!" Tyler joked. "You're shittin me?" Derek said. "You're really allergic to strawberries?" "Seriously!" Tyler said. "Derek is also allergic to strawberries!" Larry said. "Really? That is weird!" Tyler said. "I think you're both weird!" Luke said smiling, leaning on one arm watching them eat. "Coming from watching you eat, Luke, I'm not sure how I should take that!" Derek laughed. "If you're going to compare me to your brother, Luke, then you don't get the present I brought you!" Tyler said, winking at Luke! "HEY!" Derek said nudging his elbow into Tyler's side. "Yeah! When do I get my present?" Luke said. "When you and your two brothers finish raking all of the leaves!" Larry said. Kyle and Luke groaned. Tyler got up and excused himself and said he would be right back. Linda poured three large glasses of R.C. cola for the boys and a glass of orange juice for Luke. Tyler returned with three packages. He handed a large wrapped box to Luke, a small wrapped CD to Kyle and 24" by 36" package to Linda - with a card attached that read on the outside 'Happy Thanksgiving Day - The Andersons' "Where's my present?" Derek teased. "I didn't charge you for gas to drive you here!" Tyler winked at the Larry and Linda. "I did the driving!" Derek said. "And I never sang once while you were driving, did I?" Tyler said. "You win!" Derek said, spooning some dumpling down his throat. "COOL! Look Mom and Dad!!!! Look at the size of it!" Luke yelled. "Oh my God!" Linda said. "Where on earth did you find a 70 ounce jar of Kraft peanut butter? NO! Wait. We really don't need to know!" Linda laughed, shaking her head. Luke began hyperventilating, "Oh, oh, oh,. OH!" Luke panted and ran around Derek and gave Tyler a hug. "I think Luke just had his first." Derek started to say. "Derek! Don't even go there!" Larry said and Tyler and Kyle began laughing. Tyler knew the subject needed changing! "Hey Kyle, why don't you open your gift? "Bet it isn't a jar of peanut butter!" Kyle grinned. "Yeah, Ty loves me more than you!" Luke declared. Everyone laughed. "You know, Ty?" Derek began, "It's like giving heroin to an addict!" "Mrs. Anderson, remind me to pick up some strawberries tomorrow!" Tyler said. "Owwww!" Tyler said from the second nudge. "COOL! Thanks, Ty!" Kyle said. "What is it, Kyle?" Luke asked. "A CD, dumbass!" Kyle said. "KYLE! Watch your mouth!" Linda said. "Sorry, Luke. Wow, it's all skater tunes and it's homemade!" Kyle said, giving Tyler a hug. "You're very welcome, Kyle! I hope it inspires you to greater heights on jumps!" Tyler said. "Ahem!" Larry cleared his throat looking at Tyler. "I mean without falling and breaking another arm!" Tyler laughed. The three boys stopped eating, reading, and trying to open a jar of peanut butter to look at the present before Larry and Linda. "Tyler, you really didn't need to do anything! We wanted you to come and we really feel you are a part of our family and should be here!" Linda said. "Yes Ma'am, and I appreciate that. It's just a little something to let you know how much it means to me to be invited here and to share in your Thanksgiving Day celebrations!" Tyler said. "Raking leaves isn't exactly a reason to celebrate, Ty!" Kyle said. Tyler laughed. "Larry, why don't you open the present, and I will open the card." Linda said. Linda opened the card first and read the outside of the card to everyone. She then opened the card and read the inside and the hand written note from Tyler. She whimpered and then brought her hand to her mouth. "That's so beautiful Tyler!" She came around the island and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek! Larry tore open the package and stopped. No one on the other side of the island could see the picture but they saw Larry's eyes open wide. "Oh my goodness! Tyler, that is incredible!" He said lifting a small-framed picture up and looking at the second, larger framed picture below. "What is it, Dad?" Luke said. Larry turned the framed photograph around first for everyone to see and the air was filled with 'ahhhs' and 'ohhhs'. He handed the framed photograph over to Linda and then turned around the larger picture in his hand. "WOW!" Kyle said! "Oh my God! That's so beautiful, Tyler!" Linda said wrapping her arms around Tyler and kissing the top of his head several times. Tyler was trying not to spill a dumpling on the floor and Derek just watched and laughed. "Did you draw that all by yourself, Ty?" Luke asked. "Yup. I drew it from the picture I took of all of you on Labour Day weekend." Tyler said "Tyler, that is really unbelievable. I can't imagine the hours you spent on this!" Larry said. "What's that in the corner?" Luke asked. "T P 0 5?" "TP is for toilet paper!" Kyle said laughing. Tyler took a swat at him but Kyle backed away in time. He didn't, however, get away from Linda who cuffed him on the back of the head. Derek almost gave back his R.C. cola from laughing so hard. "Where are we going to hang this, Linda?" Larry asked. "In the bathroom?" Luke asked completely serious. Linda swatted the back of Kyle's head again! "Owww! What was that for?" Kyle said laughing. "For encouraging your brother!" Linda said. "Luke may be on to something, Mom!" Derek began. "If I had to look at Kyle's pic every time I went to the washroom I would be all cleaned out in five seconds!" Everyone laughed including Linda! "You are so full of .." Kyle began. "Don't even say it!" Linda said. "Hey Kyle! Not if I have to look at your picture in the bathroom!" Derek was laughing so hard he could barely get the words out. "I don't get what's so funny?" Luke said. "GOOD!" Larry and Linda said together! Kyle, Tyler, and Derek laughed. "Whatever. you people are just too weird!" Luke said. "Will somebody open this jar. please?" Larry began setting up the coffee machine for morning and said, "I had better get to bed! I've got an early morning in surgery." "I should go too, boys! I have to get some shopping done for Thursday!" Linda added. "Did you want some help with the shopping and cooking?" Tyler offered. "Absolutely, Tyler! That would be wonderful! Maybe we could add some Canadian traditions to our meal?" Linda asked. "Anything I can do to help is fine with me! I can make my own pie dough! I know how to make stuffing and I have my Mom's recipe for carrots in a creamy onion sauce which is to die for!" "Wonderful, Tyler! We'll start planning first thing in the morning while these three start raking leaves!" Linda said. Tyler snorted and got swatted over the back of the head by Kyle and Derek! "Thank you for dinner, Mrs. Anderson. It was amazing and very nice of you to make it for us!" Tyler said. "You're most welcome, Tyler!" Linda said. They both looked at Derek who finally stopped long enough to notice the silence. "Yeah, thanks Mom!" Derek said. "Nice save, Derek!" Kyle laughed. "Are you all settled in to Derek's room, Tyler?" Linda asked. "Yes Ma'am! Though it appears I will be sleeping around a bit." Tyler asked. "Do I even want to know why you're telling me this?" Linda asked. "No Mom! You don't!" Kyle joked. "We decided that he can sleep in Luke's room tonight, my room tomorrow, and Derek's room on Thursday! If he stays Friday he can sleep in the shed!" Kyle teased. "Good night, boys!" Linda said, "And you two! Don't stay up too late!" Linda said pointing at Kyle and Luke as she walked off with Larry to bed. "Let's watch some TV!" Luke said. Derek rolled his eyes and everyone headed over into the Great Room! Derek turned on the gas fireplace to light up the room. Kyle pulled out two quilted afghans, one for each sofa. Luke took control of the channel changer and Tyler sat down on the corner of one of the sofas. Derek sat down on the other leather sofa and Kyle was about to go sit beside Tyler but changed his mind and sat down right next to Derek and leaned into him. Tyler smiled and winked at Kyle and Kyle smiled back. Derek wrapped his arm around Kyle and pulled the afghan over both of them. Luke was less subtle about what he wanted. He grabbed a pillow and plopped it down on Tyler's lap. Tyler looked over at Derek and Kyle. They both smirked. Luke carefully placed his afghan on the sofa tucking it into the back of the seat cushions. He then punched his fist into the pillow making a dent in the centre and making Tyler jump. "Don't be a wuss! I didn't hit the family jewels." Luke said seriously. Luke crawled under the afghan and tucked himself in. He snapped his fingers and pointed to the end of the sofa and Abbey jumped up and curled into a ball with her head hanging down over the seat cushion. Luke began flipping through the channels stopping on certain ones to see what was on. "Tomorrow on Jerry Springer at Four! Gay, Amish, left-handed men who became Catholic, cross-dressing, heroin addicted, alcoholic, Zeusophobic Priests and the near-sighted, one-legged Nuns who loved them!" The announcer said. Tyler, Derek, and Kyle burst out laughing. "I've seen it! The Nuns are ugly!" Luke said and began flipping channels again. "Sunday night's all new with CSI Miami! It's a Crime of unheard of atrocities! It's a scene of utter horror! It's an investigation that will leave you nauseous! Her mother considered the Diva of Domesticity is dead! Killed with a 1955 art deco Tiffany cheese fork to the heart and a note attached saying, "Mommie Dearest!" She and her pet monkey stand to inherit her vast TV, Multi-media, and banana plantation if she's found not guilty. But are there more suspects! The jealous ex-husband who lives on skid row because Mommie divorced him for not properly basting the turkey! Her personal lesbian secretary Melissa, with the moustache and hairy mole on her upper lip who is eight months pregnant carrying their Tibetan love child! Or could it be the millions of stockholders who lost their fortunes when 'Mommie Dearest' was found guilty of lying to the S.E.C? Watch David Caruso tear someone a new asshole!" "Eeeeewwwww" Kyle said. "I'll second that!" Derek added (click, click, click, click) "SHOWTIME'S all original series! WEEDS! Returns for its second smokin' season! Watch Mary-Louise Parker sell weed to college students, open a weed bakery, and get banged by a drug lord when she crosses into his territory! Watch her 10-year-old son Shane, smoke some weed, make terrorist videos, and shoot mountain lions! Watch her 15-year-old son Silas, smoke weed, do some ecstasy, and talk to Papa Smurf! Watch Kevin Nealon of Saturday Night Live fame smoke some weed, analyse porno, and eat Doritos! You'll have a blast weeding out the plot lines! Definitely our 'highest' rated show of the 2005! Watch it every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday at 7, 9, and 11 p.m. Repeats at 1, 2, 4, 5 and 11 a.m.! (click, click, click, click) "This coming New Year's Eve we're Rockin at Time's Square! Dick Clark returns in his wheel chair, oxygen mask, and drool cup to celebrate the Countdown! (Note should Mr. Clark not live to New Year's Eve he will be replaced by Simon Cowles of American Idol) Special guests include Clay Atkins, Grizzly Adams, Floyd the Penguin, Donny without Marie, someone who met Pope Benedict, and the voice behind the Smucker's Jam ads! Musical guests include Paula Abdul, Baby Fat of the Spice Girls, Howie Mandell, Teddy the Wonder lizard, The Royal Canadian Mounted Police Band, The Governor of California, and Ashley Simpson. Special Note: Should Ms. Simpson not be able to appear live, her performance will go on as scheduled! Live continuous twenty-four hour a day, seven day a week uninterrupted countdown coverage begins Dec 4 th!" (Click, click, click, OFF) "I think it's time for bed!" Derek said. "Agreed!" Tyler added. Tyler slid out from under Luke's head and stood up. He lifted Luke so that he was standing on the sofa. Luke raised his arms up to picked up and Tyler smiled shaking his head. "You're pretty lazy for a hockey player, Luke!" "I'm sleepy, Ty." Luke rested his head down on Tyler's shoulder. Kyle and Derek shut everything down and turned off the lights. As the four proceeded up stairs, Derek checked that the front door was locked and the alarm was on. Quietly they went up the stairs trying not to disturb Larry and Linda. Tyler stood Luke up on his bed. Derek opened Luke's dresser and pulled out the bottom half of his pyjamas. Luke wobbled back and forth as Tyler undressed him. Tyler held Luke steady as Derek put on his NHL pj's one leg at a time. Tyler scooped up Luke and Derek pulled back the covers. Tyler whisked him down inside his bed and took a stuffed monkey off the floor and put it between his arms. "Good night, Master Luke!" Tyler said kissing his forehead. Derek bent down to kiss Luke's forehead as well and said in a Darth Vader voice, "Use a knife in the peanut butter jar, Luke! May fresh bread always be with you!" Tyler giggled and so did Luke. "Can I have a story? Please!" Luke said with his eyes almost shut. Derek pointed at Tyler with his hand opened and said, "I believe he asked you!" Derek winked. "I may need your help here Derek! In a galaxy far off in the future a young space cadet name Lucas Anderson was daydreaming in class looking out the porthole window of Omega Star cruiser he lived on. He dreamed of the day he could fly his own warcraft to help protect the Colonies and their planets that grew peanuts to make peanut butter like his older brother Derek did. (Derek put his hand to his mouth to cover his giggling) Young Master Luke was startled back into reality by the flashes of light outside the porthole window! The alarms went off! They were under attack by the evil Lord Doritos of one of the potato chip pirate Colonies. For years their rivalry was famous as they competed in snack food industry for superiority!" (Tears ran out of Derek's eyes from giggling. Tyler glared at him for not helping him with the story) "Lord Doritos and his mighty crew of Pringles shaped battle cruisers began firing on the Omega Star cruiser and her fleet of peanut butter jar shaped warcraft! Chips were everywhere!" (Luke giggled along with Derek) "Young Master Luke ran from his classroom along with all of the other space cadets to the docking bay where they climbed into their own cruisers and headed out into battle!" Princess Lohan yelled, "Luke! Be careful! Protect your nuts!" (Derek fell off the bed laughing so hard) "Luke saw shots being fired at him and they were coming from behind. Lord Doritos was firing his FTA rockets at young Master Luke! (Fatty Trans Acids) His trusty robot PB&J4U said to him, "Master Luke! Master Luke! Engage shields!" Luke's brother Derek saw what was happening and he messaged his brother Luke, "Luke, you've got Lord Doritos on your butt! Use the peanut butter and jelly roll I taught you!!!" Luke began to roll his ship around in circles and then he braked hard! Lord Doritos shot right past him and now Master Luke was on Lord Dorito's butt! "Braked? In space?" Derek interrupted. Tyler narrowed his eyes and paused the story to glare at him. He turned on his rockets and fired two of his Reese peanut butter cup rockets at Lord Doritos! SPLAT! Lord Doritos' bubble window was covered in gooey chocolate and peanut butter! He turned his wipers on but everyone knows that just spreads the peanut butter around!" (Derek wiped his eyes while Luke held his covers up to his neck listening intently!) Commander Derek made his way over to his brother Luke's ship to assist. Master Luke radioed over to Commander Derek, "You fly like a Canadian!" Commander Derek said, "What do you mean?" "You're slow, big brother! I could have been killed!" Master Luke said. (Luke giggled while Derek tried to get air) "It's the beats for you when we get back, little brother! Now let's finish off Lord Doritos!" Commander Derek said. Together they each fired two Reese's peanut butter cup rockets at Lord Dorito's ship. You could actually hear the splat! "There's no sound in space!" Luke said. "Shut up Lucas! This is my story! If I say you could hear a 'splat' you can hear it!" Tyler laughed. "Whatever." Luke giggled. "Lord Doritos' ship crashed and exploded when he hit a giant floating peanut! What was left of the fleet of chip cruisers retreated with the death of their leader! Commander Derek and young Master Luke returned to the Omega star ship as heroes! Later on, Princess Lohan would present Master Luke with the golden peanut butter cup medal for bravery and they would live to fight another day, in another aisle of some distant snack food store before the game begins! End of story Luke!" "Did Master Luke get to touch Princess Lohan's breasts?" Luke asked. "WHAT?" Tyler said and Derek howled with laughter. "I know this is the part of the story I've been waiting for!" Derek said. "Yes Luke, she ripped her top off and smothered her breasts in the smooth, creamy texture of Kraft low-fat peanut butter. Now I'm going to bed, you can continue on with the story yourself!" Tyler said leaning in to kiss Luke goodnight. "I love you. Sweet Dreams!" "I love you too, Ty!" Luke said, "But why low-fat peanut butter?" "Well duh! Lucas! Everyone knows that it will just go to her thighs!!!" Tyler said winking at Luke. Derek also kissed Luke goodnight and they left the room. Once outside in the hallway Derek said, "PB&J4U? HAHAHAHAHA!" "I couldn't exactly call his robot RU469, now could I?" Tyler winked. "You could now!" Derek laughed. As they reached Derek's room Kyle was leaning against his bedroom door smiling. "I want my story now!" "Talk to your brother!" Tyler said pulling his sweatshirt off over his head. "Kyle, you've got cum stains on your boxers!" Derek said pointing. Kyle looked down in sheer panic. "Made ya look!" Derek laughed and ran into his bedroom. Kyle tried to jump up on his back but only managed to pull the two down on to Derek's bed. Tyler stripped down to his boxers while the two wrestled on the bed. "Hmmm, seems like one of us isn't ready for bed yet?" Tyler laughed. Derek stopped and looked at Tyler as he had already pinned Kyle down on the bed. Kyle reached up and began pulling Derek's sweatshirt up. Tyler came in from behind Derek and reached around undoing the snaps on his jeans. "I better clean out your pockets." Tyler said sliding his hands into Derek's front pockets. "Hmmm nothing in here!" Tyler said, as he gently stroked Derek's growing erection and then pulled his hands out of his pockets. "Asshole!" Derek said. "I didn't check there yet!" Tyler said getting up from the bed. All three got up and Derek stripped down to his boxers. Derek looked at Tyler and nodded his head. Tyler winked back and smiled. "Hey Kyle, are you going to sleep with us tonight?" Tyler asked. "Really? Ooooh thanks guys! Yeah! You bet!" Kyle said beaming. "Go brush your teeth Kyle!" Derek said and Kyle ran to the shared bathroom. Tyler walked over to Derek and said. "That was really sweet what you did!" They heard the bathroom door shut. "I didn't do anything." Derek said smiling. Tyler put his hands around the sides of Derek's tummy and pressed his lips against Derek's. They both closed their eyes for just a moment to fully feel the electricity that traveled back and forth between them. They heard the toilet flush and parted a little bit. "I think you are everything I ever wanted in life, Derek." "I was thinking the same thing." Derek said, putting his hands on Tyler's face and leaning in for a second kiss. "Are we ever going to get any time alone this week?" Tyler asked. "Probably not, but we'll be back in our room Saturday night! Want to meet me after my game, Mr. Peel?" Derek asked. "Are you asking me out on a date, Mr. Anderson?" Tyler teased smiling. "Sure. you know, after I'm finished with the parade, and game, and Amber." Derek winked. Tyler gently punched his side. "Amber can watch if you really want her too!" Tyler said laughing. "Tyler, would you do me the honour of allowing me to take you out on a date Saturday night?" Derek said holding his hand. "Assuming of course I don't get hospitalized from the game!" Derek joked. "Hmmmm. I would have to check my calendar first! Can I get back to you?" Tyler winked. "I'll wait as long as you want me too, Tyler!" Derek said. Tyler's eyes immediately filled with tears and the bathroom door opened and he dashed by Kyle and shut the door. "Sumptin wrong with Ty?" Kyle asked. "His contact lens . . . always happens at night when he gets tired. C'mere and give me a hug, little brother. Have I told you how much I love you and how important you are to me today?" Derek said hugging Kyle. "Yeah, but I still like hearing it Derek. I missed you so much Derek. Don't ever go away again." Kyle said laying his head in Derek's chest and smelling his body scent. "Dude! I'm only a couple of hours away!" Derek joked. "That wasn't the away I meant, Derek." Kyle said pressing his face against Derek's chest. "I know, Kyle. I have no reason to be gone as long as you are here with me. I don't want us to ever be that far away again!" Derek said kissing the top of Kyle's head. "You know that Tyler means a lot to me but even still, he isn't my blood brother! Nothing is more important than you and Luke. You guys are my family and no one can ever separate us." Derek said. Kyle squeezed Derek tighter. Tyler came out of the bathroom and Derek immediately said, "Is the contact lens better now?" He winked. "Yeah. It's fine!" "I get the middle!" Kyle called out as he hopped into bed and then pulled the comforter back on each side for both to get in. "Kyle you know that I am sleeping with Luke tonight?" Tyler said. "Maybe not if we make it so you want to stay?" Kyle teased. "Sorry pal, I gave my word! Sweet dream guys and in the morning I might just crawl in with ya!" Tyler winked. Tyler leaned over and kissed Kyle goodnight. He then leaned over Kyle to kiss Derek goodnight. While leaning over, Kyle grabbed Tyler's cock through his boxers. Tyler broke his kiss from Derek and said. "Derek! Don't touch me there!" Kyle laughed and it took Derek a second to clue in. Tyler climbed into bed with Luke. "Move over a little Luke!" Tyler whispered. "I didn't think you were coming back." Luke mumbled as he slid over. "What and miss a sleep over with you?" Tyler said as kissed Luke's cheek. He slid his right arm under Luke's pillow and head and wrapped his left over Luke's comforter. Luke rested his hand on top of Tylers and squeezed it three times. Linda stuck her head back into her bedroom and called Larry. "Take a look at this!" Linda said as they both crept down the hallway and looked in Luke's bedroom. Larry grinned seeing Luke holding Tyler's arm firmly against him. "Looks like he got a new monkey?" Larry whispered. "Wait! There's more!" Linda said pulling Larry down the hallway to Derek's bedroom. The morning sun hadn't risen but the outside house lights shining through the mini-blinds revealed Kyle's head resting firmly on Derek's chest and Derek's hand lying gently on Kyle's bare back holding him close. Linda wiped a tear away from her eye and Larry put his arm around Linda's shoulder. "I think we have our family back Larry?" Linda said. "We really have something to be thankful for this holiday!" Larry said as he kissed the side of Linda's head. "I never thought Derek would stray to far. after all he's got the best Mom in the world." Linda laid her head in to Larry's chest and hugged him. "I want to snap a picture of them!" Linda said. "No Honey, you'll just wake them. We've pried enough into their sleepy worlds. Just be thankful we have this memory." Larry sighed. "And another couple hours before the peanut butter gang is up!" Larry joked. Larry finished dressing and Linda went down to the kitchen to make coffee. Tyler awoke early as usual and went to the main washroom so as not to wake Derek and Kyle up. He went back into Derek's room and smiled at the sight before him. He quietly pulled out the digital camera and snapped a couple of pics with the flash off. He threw on a sweatshirt and grabbed a Folger's single to make himself some coffee. He brought along his digital camera and laptop. He thought he might as well upload it to his computer. Walking around the corner into the kitchen he smelled the coffee brewing and immediately spotted Linda leaning on her arms looking at the picture he gave them. Tyler flinched and pulled his laptop down in front of his boxers. "OH Sorry Mrs. Anderson!" Tyler said as his face turned red. I didn't know anyone else was up! "It's okay Tyler." Linda chuckled. "I have up to four naked boys running around here all the time! One more isn't going to bother me." She laughed. Larry walked up behind Tyler and said, "Morning Ty!" "AAAAhhhhhhh!" Tyler screamed! Almost dropping his laptop and camera on the floor. "Sorry Tyler!" Larry laughed. "Didn't mean to startle you. "Your eye is starting to letter better Tyler!" "Thanks Sir. I'll be right back. I need some more clothing. Sorry Dr. Anderson, I didn't know anyone else would be up." Tyler set everything down on the counter and ran back up to Derek's room to put on some sweat pant shorts. Larry and Linda laughed. "Going to take a little time for our number four son to adjust I think?" Larry said pouring himself a coffee. Linda turned on the kitchen stereo and Van Morrison's song Domino came on. When Tyler returned he started laughing as he saw Dr. and Mrs. Anderson dancing together in the kitchen. Linda smiled at him and Larry said to Tyler, "How do you think I got lucky in high school?" Tyler bent over laughing and Linda punched Larry gently in the chest. Linda extended her hand to Tyler to dance and he accepted grinning from ear to ear. Tyler picked up the pace a little and Larry slowly moved back and picked up Tyler's camera. Linda saw what he was doing and turned Tyler so he wouldn't notice. Larry began snapping pictures as they picked up their pace. Tyler might not have noticed if Luke hadn't appeared and said, "DAD! You've got competition!" Tyler turned and saw his picture being taken and just shook his head. "Don't worry Lucas! If she decides to leave us for Tyler I've photographic proof that your Mother's been cheating on us!" Luke walked up his peanut butter cupboard scratching his butt and said, "I'm goin wherever Tyler is!" Larry's mouth fell open with laughter and Tyler and Linda joined in. "Out of the mouths of babes." Linda said. "Don't worry Luke! Even if I could afford this house I couldn't afford the peanut butter!" Tyler said. "I'm staying with Dad!" Luke announced as he fished for knife in the silverware drawer. "It's good know that I'm loved Lucas!" Larry laughed. "Dad you really need to do something about your insecurities." Luke said wiping the excess peanut butter off of the knife on his mouth. "Lucas! Don't put a knife in your mouth!" Linda said. Tyler and Larry laughed at Lucas. "Is it always like this every morning?" Tyler asked. "More like 24/7 Tyler." Linda grinned and winked. "I'm moving in!" Tyler declared "Yea!" Luke said. "I don't charge much rent but you have to share the top bunk with Mango!" Everyone laughed. "Mango?" Tyler asked Larry. "His pet 'stuffed' monkey!" Larry said sipping his coffee. "Maybe we can negotiate the rent and I can just become your faithful servant?" Tyler asked Luke as he refilled his mug. "Nah. that's what Mom and Dad are for!" Luke said winking at Tyler as he licked peanut butter off of his fingers. "I should get to work! I got four surgeries this morning. I will call you this afternoon when I'm done." Larry said as he kissed the top of Luke's head. "Later butterfingers!" Luke said. "Later pukey!" Larry replied. Larry walked out of the kitchen and down the hall to the garage. Luke took off after him. "Dad! Dad!" Luke said and Larry turned around. Linda pointed to her ear and leaned her head towards the hallway hinting to Tyler that he should listen. "I love you Dad!" Luke said wrapping his arms around a now kneeling Larry. "I love you and Mango too!" Larry said. "Sorry about your story last night. I forgot." "It's okay Dad, Tyler told me a story." Luke smiled pulling his face snug against Larry's Linda and Tyler smiled at each other as they listened in on Luke's private conversation. "He's all tough guy in public but thankfully he's still my little boy at home!" Linda said. "Be careful, I might just take him back to the dorm and leave Derek here!" Tyler joked. "Speaking of. how are things going with my number one and four son's?" Linda smiled. "It's okay." Tyler said evading the question. "Uh Huh. so not much has changed?" She asked prying deeper. "No, it has! He's just not himself most of the time, though I'm not really sure what 'himself' really is?" Tyler said staring into his half full mug. "Want to tell me the truth about how you got the black eye Tyler?" Linda continued. "No Ma'am." Tyler said lowering his head. Luke returned to the kitchen and demanded to sit up on Tyler's lap. "Don't take it personally Tyler, he's like that with everyone. He's a tough nut to crack as my Father use to say. He's come so far in just a couple of months. Don't give up on him Tyler but don't get yourself killed either!" She winked and smiled. Tyler noticed the pained look on her face as she turned away and picked up the picture again. "I won't Ma'am, I'm here for the long haul!" Tyler said and then realized he said more than he meant too. Tyler began opening up his laptop and hooking the camera up to it. "You got any good music?" Luke said glaring at his mother. 'It's Your Thing" by the Isley Brothers was now playing and Luke moaned so Linda turned it off. "Okay Luke, have you ever heard 'Walkie-Talkie Man'?" Tyler asked. "Nope! It's not Mom and Dad's music is it?" Luke said. "Nope!" Tyler said. "It's not that crap by Hanson is it?" Luke asked leaning on one arm dreading what was coming. "Nope! It's by Steriogram! One of the faster singers on the planet and his band can barely keep up." Tyler said. "He has some issues that he has to deal with and sort out in his head Tyler. Larry and I have already figured it out but he needs to work it out for himself." Linda said sounding depressed about the situation. The moment Luke heard the intro music he jumped down from Tyler's lap and began dancing. Tyler and Linda started laughing. Luke's arms started doing the Robot and his legs moved with a mix of Mick Jagger and Elvis Presley. He then added a little Elvis pelvis to his groove. His head was moving back and forth like the funky chicken as he pranced up and down the kitchen. Linda was wiping tears away and Tyler was banging his head up and down on the counter laughing while Luke sang away "Well you're walkin, talkin, thinkin, an a movin, and a grooving, a hippin and a hoppin. He's fat and he don't run too fast but he's faster than me." Tyler added U2's Vertigo to the play list on his computer before the song ended and before it ended two more half naked sleepy heads appeared in the kitchen unnoticed by Grand Master L A ! Derek had his arms around Kyle's chest and they just howled with laughter watching Lucas go. Arms swaying and unaffected by his audience, Luke slid, literally, into the song Vertigo bobbing his head back and forth. "Hello, Hello, I am at a place called Vertigo" he sang waving at Derek and Kyle. Luke danced up to Tyler and placed his hands on his hips as he gyrated. Tyler got down and began dancing with him. Derek and Kyle moved on each side of the Linda watching. They all exchanged smiles with the occasional head shaking. Tyler was down on his knees dancing with Luke. Kyle kept a close eye on Tyler's dancing member, which didn't go unnoticed by Derek or Linda either. No one commented though! Tyler got up on his feet and began to show Luke a few new moves before the song ended. The next song was "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" by Good Charlotte and when it came on Luke stopped dancing and announce. "They're so Gay!" And ran off to the Great Room hopping over the back of the sofa. Scaring the crap out of Abbey! Everyone could see his hand rise up in the air with the magic wand in his hand and thus appeared the cartoon network. Tyler just stood there in mid motion frozen! "What the Hell happened?" Tyler said as he turned the music off on his laptop. "Could be he didn't like the music!" Kyle taunted. "Could be he saw a butterfly and ran off to catch it!" Derek laughed. "Could be seven a.m. and Sponge Bob is on!" Linda said pointing to the TV. "Don't stop dancing on our account Ty!" Kyle teased. "Just let me get Dad's video camera so we can send it in to America's Dumbest Videos!" "How about American Idol?" Derek teased as he and Kyle high-fived each other and laughed! "How about Canadian Idol? But he's probably dancing too fast for anyone up there to figure out what he's doing!" Kyle said directly to Derek. Derek fisted with Kyle and said, 'You da Man Kylester!" "Who's Da Man?" Kyle asked? "You Da Man!" Derek repeated. "I hate you both! I shall make your death's as painful as possible!" Tyler said in his Stewy voice from Family Guy he slurped his now cold coffee. Everyone giggled. Linda wrapped her arms around both of her boys and pulled them into a hug. "How are two of my four favourite boys this morning?" "Luke and me are fine!" Tyler piped up and said as he checked his fingernails ignoring Derek and Kyle. "The other two left before you guys got up!" He added not only looking at Linda laughing. "The beats Mr. Peel! How did your night go Pukey Lukey?" Derek teased. "Speaking of. I think Luke had a little accident in the night Mrs. Anderson." Tyler said quietly. "Not again?" She laughed. "Thank God for rubber undersheets!" Kyle yelled! "Hey Luke! Did you wet the bed again last night?" "Nope! Mango did!" Luke replied. Everyone laughed and Tyler yelled over to Luke "Tonight Mango's wearing a diaper!" but Luke didn't respond. Derek pointed over towards Luke and said, "Talk to the Bob!" Tyler stuck his tongue out at Derek. Linda asked what everyone wanted for breakfast before they start raking leaves? "I think a crown rack of lamb would hit the spot! Once that's ready and I've eaten I will be ready to rake leaves!" Kyle said stretching. Linda grabbed his tummy and said, "How about some bacon and eggs and not getting grounded for the rest of the weekend?" "I think there's room for negotiation here Mom!" Kyle grinned pulling his Mother's hand away from his tummy. "Sure Kyle, you get showered and dressed and I will go through McDonald's drive-thru?" Linda smiled. "Cool Mom! Thanks!" Tyler started laughing and everyone turned their attention to him. He looked up at them and said, "Sorry, nothing!" and closed the lid on the computer and unplugged the camera. "You got pictures? Let us seem 'em!" Kyle said running around the kitchen island to Tyler's side. "Nope! You won't like them!" Tyler said smiling at Derek and Linda. "What are they of?" Kyle asked. Tyler looked over to make sure Luke was still watching TV. "There of your Mom and me having sex in the kitchen this morning!" Tyler winked at Linda. "Ewwwwwwww Gross!" Kyle said. Derek put his head down on the counter laughing. "I second Kyle's opinion!" Derek added. "You're too funny Tyler! I'm going to have to step up to my A game!" Linda said. "So Kyle. who do you think took the pictures?" Tyler asked him. "Not Luke?" Kyle said with his mouth open. "No it was your Dad." Tyler teased. "WAY too much info Ty! I think I'm going to go throw up?" Kyle mused. "So you don't want anything from McDonald's then?" Linda asked Kyle smiling. "Yeah, a bucket!" Kyle said distorting his face. Tyler flipped the screen back open on his laptop and Kyle looked at the picture. Tyler then clicked through four more pictures. Kyle held his hand to his mouth and laughed. "What are they of?" Derek wanted to know. "Damn, those are hot pictures Mom!" Kyle winked. "Tyler's a hot guy Kyle!" Linda winked back at the two of them. It was Derek's turn to drop his mouth open! "This isn't really happening is it?" Derek asked? "Of course not Derek!" Linda said. "I have to divorce your father first!" She said shaking her head in disgust that Derek wasn't smart enough to know better. "You can call me Dad if you want too?" Tyler said. "Flip the frick'n thing around!" Derek demanded! Tyler turned it around and Derek saw a pic of Tyler and his Mom dancing in the kitchen. "The beats for you Mr. Peel!" Derek said laughing at the picture. "Tyler, would you like to come shop-lifting with me this morning for groceries or rake leaves?" Linda asked. "Shop-lifting? Ummm sure!" Tyler laughed. "I have to shower first though!" "That's Mom trying to be funny but failing miserably at it!" Kyle rolled his eyes. "That's Kyle trying to be smart but failing miserably at it!" Linda said. Kyle went to flip his Mom the bird when she said, "Don't even think about it Mr. but-I-have-no-internet-for-a-month Anderson!" Linda said. "You heard her Derek!" Kyle said shaking his finger as he ran out of the kitchen. "Let's go shower Ty and drown my little brother! Laterz Mom!" Derek said. "Laterz Mom!" Tyler said winking at her. "Abbey!" Linda called and Abbey's head popped up over the back of the leather sofa beside Luke. "Do you want to look after the house while I'm gone or for come for a ride in the van?" Abbey wasn't about to miss her chance to get out of this crazy house! "Luke! Don't burn the house down, don't let Derek drown Kyle, keep the doors locked, and tell Mango he has to remove the wet sheets if he wants clean ones tonight!" Linda said going down the hallway to the garage. Please do NOT email the author! Post your gripes/compliments/questions at: Many thanks to Nifty.org for providing a vehicle to display my first multi-chaptered story and the poor guy at Nifty who has tolerated me over the last few weeks! All Rights Reserved Copyright 2005-2006 Tyler Peel