Title: THE RUNAWAY [Part 1 of a Search for the Runaway]
Author: Avaritico [a.k.a Vain Phrell]
Other Writing by this Author:
War of Heart [Ongoing]
A Night With The Stranger [Part 1- Completed] [Part 2 – Coming Soon] [Ongoing]
A Search for The Runaway [Part 1- Completed] [Part 2 – Coming Soon] [Ongoing]
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Voujhan was crying in a cafe inside of a nearby mall in Yoville. His heart was broken, really broken. Because he was afraid, and his deepest urges told him to runaway. He ran, and ran until he felt so tired from running. Yet, it was the only thing he seems to be good at, running away from life, his fiancée, and also, from his beloved one.
What he wrote was committed to memory forever as his goodbye note to Troy. He didn’t want to look into Troy’s angry face when he read it. He knew that Troy would leave him for what he wrote in regards to not telling the complete truth about himself. He felt that Troy would be betrayed because of his lies. Yet, he didn’t want to see Troy’s fuming look, but only wanted to remember his happy moment that they shared the night before with each others, their entire bodies and souls.
(Before Voujhan left the dorm)
It was after Diana’s phone call when Voujhan prepared to take a shower, and then, to talk to Troy about his life that Troy never knew about. Once he’d done that, he was ready to face his parents, as long as Troy would be willing to stand by his side as he’d told them. After his shower, he went to Angelica at the front desk to ask where Troy was.
“By now, I think he would be in the cafeteria.” Angelica told him. “He said to me that he’d served you breakfast in bed after getting you all so worked up last night.” Angelica then smirked and continued. “And I see what he meant by getting you all worked up.”
“Yeah!” Voujhan agreed. He really did looked rather worked up, but not because of last night. It was because of things he was about afraid to face Troy with. But, he just had to go along the ride of Angelica’s joke and said. “He really got to sleep in late with all those kisses.”
“Only kisses?” Angelica mischievously teased him.
know that sort of things.”
“And . . . ?!?” Angelica was so eager to know more.
“Do you want me describe every details to you?” Voujhan sneered.
“If it’s okay with you.” She smirked wickedly.
“No way!” Voujhan replied teasingly. “It’s a private thing between me and my babe.”
“Selfish Slut.” Angelica said as Voujhan walked away.
Voujhan went to the cafeteria since that was where Angelica mentioned where he could be. Normally, the cafeteria was always their first destination, if the two of them were out jogging in the morning. When Voujhan entered the cafeteria, he didn’t expected to see what he saw. And what he saw was Troy talking to his parents. Voujhan was stunned. What he saw also was this distance solitude in Troy’s eyes, and his surprised but confused look on his face while speaking with his parents. It was all Vonjhan needed to see. He quickly turned around and rushed back to the dormitory with tears streaming down his face. He didn’t dare to look back at Troy once more. He didn’t want to remember Troy’s upset disposition all because of some secrets he’d kept from Troy. It was better not to view Troy in this way. Only to picture him cheerful and smiling by all they’d shared together up to that moment.
When he arrived to the dormitory, Voujhan ran so fast to his room that even Angelica at the front desk didn’t noticed him. He packed some of his important belongings, then went over to his desk and wrote a letter to Troy. It was clear to him that his parents, Alicia and Richard, told everything to Troy and he didn’t want to deal with Troy’s anger. At least, not at that moment . . .
Once he wrote his letter, he put it on Troy’s bed for him to find it easily. Voujhan’s letter said:
I know that you already knew who I really am. But I had to runaway because of the arranged engagement my parents set for me with some guy I don’t even know. I don’t even know his name. I know you are very angry with me for not telling you the whole truth about me. I’m really, really truly sorry. I don’t have the courage to face you right now; I don’t know how you’d feel, so I decided to write you this letter instead.
I love you so much. And I will always love you. But I am not worthy of your love since I never told you who I really am. I am so sorry Troy. So truly sorry.
By now, I would be very far away. I don’t know where I’m going to or what I’ll do. I know it is wrong to runaway, but I’m doing it anyway. I guess I am good at running away it seems to be the only thing I do best. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Please don’t get angry at me for not telling the whole story of my life.
Troy even if you move on, I will always love you, and you will always remain in me.
Please send my regards to my parents, and my sister.
I’m really sorry for lying.
Here.” A hand offered a white handkerchief to Voujhan. Voujhan wiped his tears with his hands ignored whose handkerchief that was being offered to him. “Use this.” The owner of the handkerchief said. Though this guy’s voice sounded sexy. Voujhan just wasn’t in the mood to flirt, especially now, when he was deeply heartbroken.
Voujhan’s blurry eyes moved from his hand to the guy’s hand that offered the handkerchief and slowly he followed it up the guy’s arm to his face. It was then that Voujhan was dumbfounded by this guy’s sexy smile. “Thanks, but I wasn’t crying.” Voujhan lied, and then, moved his eyes quickly away from the hot sexy-looking guy feeling embarrassed.
Voujhan just wished this guy would disappear since he reminded him of Troy with similar features as Troy. The jet-black hair, especially, the brown eyes, they were way too much like Troy’s. And it was agonizing to remember his beloved Troy right now. It ached way too much to remember that he also had lied.
Again, as he remembered those things, a drop of tears escaped his eyes slowly down his cheekbone. This time the guy caught it with his handkerchief and dabbed at Voujhan’s wet face. Then Voujhan looked up once more at the guy, whose face seemed almost shouted, ‘what’s you’re problem, why are you doing this’.
The guy’s boyish smile appeared in the same bliss as his sparkling brown eyes did. Yet his smile seems all too familiar. The same smile that Troy would always give him.
“It hurts me to see such a handsome face in tears.” The guy told him. Except this time, Voujhan noticed he had an English accent, much more, like how Troy would say it. The guy, then handed Voujhan the handkerchief, which he accepted. Next, he sat down in the chair near Voujhan. “You know, life is just a season. Sometimes you’ll feel like you’re so down like autumn time when the leaves fall from their trees. You’ll feel the coldness just like the wintertime when snow comes to cover the earth. But there’s always the summertime, it is when you’ll feel the warmth inside that will fade away the coldness of your heart. And never forget that springtime is where all the grass sprouts and flowers blossoms, to give a fresh start to a wonderful beginning.” The guy smiled at him.
Voujhan smiled back. “I didn’t understand much of it but thanks. I know it’s supposed to comfort me.”
“And did you feel comforted?” The guy asked, still smiling at him.
“I don’t know.” Voujhan sighed with an honest answer. “Things aren’t the way they’re supposed to.” Voujhan continued. “Things didn’t go according to plan. It did not go according to how I wanted it to be. And because of that, it hurts me. It hurts me like a stake that had been driven into the core of my heart.
“You know, things don’t always go according to how we plan it.” The guy implied. “But they all happen because of a certain reason.” The guy looked at him in the eyes as he continued. “The purpose of this things will help you become a better person, all you have to do is face it, and do not runaway from it.”
Those words struck Voujhan deeply. ‘The purpose of this things will help you become a better person, all you have to do is face it, and do not runaway from it.’ Yes, he was running away from his love because he was afraid of how Troy would react. He was running away and no one could stop him from doing it, not even himself.
“By the way, I’m Rhennielle.” The guy introduced himself; his accent was so much likes Troy. “But you can call me Rhyll since that is how my friends call me.”
Voujhan accepted Rhyll’s extended hand, “Mine’s, Voujhan.”
“I’m a psychologist, so if you want to talk about it, just call me here.” He gave Voujhan his calling card. Voujhan put it into his wallet right away. “I have to go since; I came here for some business. But I’ll see you sometime. Soon I hope.”
“Thanks for everything.” Voujhan told him as he tried to stand and straighten himself up a bit.
“No problem.” Rhyll answered. Then Voujhan watched Rhyll walked away to his car, got in, and drove away. Then Voujhan remembered that he had Rhyll’s handkerchief.
“Well, I’ll return it. If, we ever meet again.” Voujhan said out loud.
Voujhan stayed in the cafe for a while to figure out what to do next. Surely, he couldn’t go back to Diana since his mother would be checking on him there. Moreover, he couldn’t let his sister know how heartbroken he was as to what happened. And to think about contacting anyone, he forgot to grab his phone on Troy’s bed as he was in a hurry to leave.
Then he decided to stay in a hotel for a while. He still have few bucks to support himself for the next month or two there since his sister had sent him some money, and he hasn’t even used it yet. SO, he opted to look for a hotel to stay at, which he found the Cloud Palace Hotel close by.
As soon as he was checked into his room, he lay down on the bed and started crying. He felt so bad about what he had done. But how could he turn back now. A voice inside him told him that it’s okay maybe Troy would understand, and maybe, just maybe, his parents could see how much he loved Troy that they would also understand. But yet, that same voice kept telling him to go back to Troy and buried his face onto Troy’s well-developed chest. Then, another voice told him not to bother.
His mind was surely full of confusion.
He buried his face into his pillow, and then started crying again. He blamed himself for everything. If only he could have started over again, if only he had told Troy the truth maybe things would have different. Then Voujhan started sobbing uncontrollably. He hugged his pillow tighter as if it was his beloved one, and then cried some more. He also started to talk to the pillow, imagining it was Troy.
Tears were flowing freely as he talked to it. “Troy, I’m so, so sorry. I hope you could understand why I did this. I never wanted us to be apart. But, I betrayed you and your trust. I never told you who I was, while you have told me everything about yourself. Troy…” His tears flowed as he looked deeply into his pillow, crying his heart out. Then he hugged it and continued sobbing.
“You know it is my entire fault.” Voujhan again talked to the pillow. He uttered the things that he wished to tell Troy, since he doesn’t have the courage to tell it, face-to-face. “But know this, I loved you very much, that I think I couldn’t love anyone except you Troy. I couldn’t love anyone except you.”
“Troy it hurt so much.” He continued. “I’m hurting so very much. I can’t stand this.” Voujhan was still sobbing. “You’re everything I ever wished for. You are my life but I lost you, because I was afraid to lose you. Now, I think I am unworthy of your love. Thinking of this makes me hurt so badly, Troy.” Voujhan cried. “My heart is aching… Troy I love you… I love you so much.” Voujhan continued to cry his heart out until he fell asleep that night.
Night after night had past, but still, Voujhan’s broken heart didn’t healed, not even a little bit. He heart still aches. Though he wanted to stay hidden in his room, he numbed body and mind had to find a place to get a drink. Later he entered into a club where he hoped to get drunk and to forget about everything. The club was quite dark along with many people were dancing. He sat in the far corner of the club where only very few people were nearby. Then he ordered his drinks, lots of it.
He was starting on his second bottle when a guy approached him. “So, you still haven’t recovered, eh!” Voujhan recognized the voice that same English accent likes Troy. But, it wasn’t Troy, it was Rhyll.
Voujhan awkwardly smiled at him. “It takes a lot of time to heal a broken heart and I think it will take forever to heal mine.”
“I’m a psychologist.” Rhyll reminded him and smiled. “You can talk to me about it. If it will make you feel better. Trust me.”
Voujhan smiled as he finished his second bottle and pick up his third. “You sure you want to listen?” Voujhan asked, as he really believed that Rhyll could make him feel better. Though, Voujhan doesn’t understand himself as to why he felt so comfortable with Rhyll. He thought maybe because of the similarity that both Rhyll and Troy had. It was maybe why he’d seen Troy in Rhyll.
“Try me, Vonjhan.” Rhyll answered. Then Voujhan started telling everything from the beginning. He didn’t leave any detail untold. He trusted this guy. Maybe it was too much of his depression that he just wanted to tell it all that he’d kept to himself. After Voujhan have finished speaking,, he also had finished his seventh bottle. He didn’t even know how he got seven. He hadn’t drank that much before.
“Did you even ask him how he feels about you being engaged?” Rhyll asked.
“I don’t have to ask him that. I know he would be angry because I have lied to him.” Voujhan answered.
“You haven’t lied.” Rhyll told him. “You just left out some important details about yourself, but you haven’t lied.”
“It still is the same.” Voujhan answered. “I haven’t told him who I am really and I think that would be enough for him to hate me forever.”
“If he really loves you, he would understand that.” Rhyll informed him again. That was when he burst into tears and sobbing into Rhyll’s shoulder. Then he passed out, not just because of having too much to drink but his body was exhausted from all of his crying.
When Voujhan woke up, he realized that he was somewhere unfamiliar, not sure how or where he was or got there. He didn’t even recognized the bed, he was on or the clothes, he was wearing. He didn’t remembered wearing, a white shirt, but did recognized his boxers. Then he remembered last night. He had pass out onto Rhyll’s shoulder, while talking to him.
“So you’re already awake.” Rhyll was standing at the door. The guy looked so fresh and hot. His jet-black hair looked really nice but a little wet. Rhyll had wore his polo shirt and jeans. Just like how Troy would had wore with two buttons undone.
Voujhan blushed as he remembered how he looked. Only his boxers and white shirt that weren’t his.
“Don’t worry, I didn’t do anything.” Rhyll naughtily smiled. “But I’m not sure If I didn’t see something.” That surely made Voujhan blushed. “Breakfast is ready, there are fresh cleaned clothes there in the closet, just choose whatever suites you best, also the towel is there too to take a shower if you like.” Rhyll left.
Then Voujhan decided to take a shower first. While he washed himself, he could tell he was still blushing by what Rhyll had said. Thinking how Rhyll had changed him without being tempted. Then a thought had flash of Troy’s face in his mind. It had freed a bucket of tears while Voujhan slumped down on the bathroom floor and sobbed into his hands. He wasn’t doing any better. The beers and the wines couldn’t make him forget Troy, no matter how much he drank. He was still crying as he was thinking about him, which he couldn’t escape from being hurt ever again. The further Voujhan thought of running away from Troy. The closer he felt his present.
When Rhyll saw Voujhan’s eyes, he knew what he had been doing, again. Voujhan tried to avoid looking at Ryhll and seen how big Rhyll’s house was. It wasn’t a just house, but a mansion. It was made up of three floors and a basement. Where Voujhan had slept the night before was on the second floor. He admired the sparkling chandelier and the huge stairs; it was a mansion, and a huge mansion. When he got ready to sit down at the dining table, a maid approached him.
“I believe you are Mr. Voujhan sir. Breakfast is in the garden Sir.” The maid formally informed him. “Please follow me Sir.”
Then Voujhan was taken to a garden where it’s like a paradise, surrounded by beautiful blue roses and blue butterflies. There were no other flowers except for the roses. When Rhyll saw him coming, he stood up. He’d greeted him.
“Let’s eat.” He invited him to sit down at the garden table. They both ate while admiring the beautiful blue roses that surrounded them.
“I see you have cried again.” Rhyll observed. That was when Voujhan avoided any eyes. “You cannot deny it. Why don’t you give yourself a chance and go talk to him.” Rhyll told him. “Even if it hurts, even if he wouldn’t understand at least you would have tried.”
“The butterflies are beautiful and so are the roses.” Voujhan intentionally changed the subject.
“Yeah they are, and I would try my very best to preserved them, in here and in my heart.” Rhyll answered.
“How very noble of you.” Voujhan complemented.
“Maybe you would change that to ‘how very selfish of me’.” Rhyll told him.
“What is so selfish about it?” Voujhan wondered.
“I want to preserve those roses since they are the only memory of the only person I loved.” Rhyll answered as his facial expression changed. “He committed suicide because of me. I loved him too, very much. But because of a misunderstanding we cannot be with each other again.” Rhyll explained. “That’s why I think you are lucky, at least, you still have a chance to say sorry and be back with each other. In my story, we cannot be with each other ever again.”
“I see, I’m sorry.” Voujhan felt bad about it that there is nothing Rhyll could do about it.
“Don’t worry!” Rhyll smiled again. “I have moved on already.”
“Sir please. Excuse me, your cousin is on the telephone, he says it is emergency.” One of their maid told Rhyll.
“I’ll be back shortly,” Rhyll told Voujhan as he went inside the mansion.
Voujhan let his eyes wander around the garden meanwhile he was thinking. He thought about what Rhyll had said about losing someone, making things right again, and going on with life. Right then, Voujhan decided that tonight he was going to go, find Troy, and face him. But today he had to prepare himself to look good before he faced Troy, maybe it could help him now.
While deep into his thought, Rhyll returned and said. “I’m sorry but I have to go for a while, family emergency. Just tell the maids if you need something and they will attend to it.”
“Yeah, thanks for everything.” Voujhan answered.
“No problem.” Rhyll answered and left the garden room.
Voujhan went to his hotel and prepared things that he needed to face Troy. Well the only thing that he needed was his own self. Then he went to a bar downstairs in the hotel for a little drink in hope it would calm his nerves down..
Troy has been drunk nearly every day and night since Voujhan left. He had hired investigators to locate Voujhan but they couldn’t find him. Troy knew that Voujhan couldn’t contact him because he left his cell phone on his bed. He didn’t know what to feel. He’d thought he had a happy ending, but then his prince just disappeared. He wasn’t really angry at Voujhan, but he was angry at himself. If he just had told Voujhan from the start about his engagement, then maybe they would be living happily right now. But he didn’t. This whole thing was his fault. He’d shouldn’t been such a coward.
He had been so wasted for every minute, hour, and day that Voujhan wasn’t with him. He had done everything he could think of, but there has been no luck in finding him. Now he was drinking alone at Aqua Bar reminisced the first night he tried talking to Voujhan.
“Hey honey, care for another drink.” A guy had asked. He had blonde hair but not as beautiful as Voujhan’s. The guy seems to like him and he didn’t like it. He didn’t respond. “Hey cutie, didn’t you hear me.”
“Sure sit.” He answered without any emotions. Sure, he didn’t like the guy but he didn’t want to be rude either just because he didn’t like him. After all, he still has a social etiquette to live by.
“Thanks”, the guy sat next to him, very, very close to him. Troy tried to move away but it seems, that the guy kept moving closer as he moved away him.
Then he felt the guy’s hand on his thigh. The guy was slowly stroking his thigh. Troy didn’t like the eerie feeling. Yet his body seems to respond a little. Maybe it was the alcohol he had consumed lately.
“What are you doing?” He finally spoke what was his mind.
“Don’t worry, you’ll like it.” Then the guy slowly moved his hand to Troy’s semi-hard bulge, which made him moan a bit. Though, Troy felt guilty. He stopped the guy’s hand, but just as he did that, the guy planted a kiss unexpectedly. Troy was stunned.
Just about the time had happened, Voujhan entered the Aqua bar to find Troy, until he spotted Troy kissing another guy. Just then, Troy saw Voujhan too. Instantly he’d shoved the guy away. But Voujhan was too fast and hurried to go back outside. But Troy got to him before Voujhan got out the door. Troy had caught his hand and pulled him into an embrace. Troy embraced him with all his might so that he doesn’t get away, again. He missed Voujhan so much and he couldn’t afford to let him go again.
Voujhan cried at that very moment of Troy’s embrace. He was felt sad as well as angry at Troy. He felt betrayed. His tears came streaming down his face onto Troy’s hand. He wanted to be with Troy and stay in his embrace, but his anger got the best of him for he’d saw Troy kissing another man, which it crushed his heart completely. Yet, Troy still hugged Voujhan as the two them were in tears.
His lips trembled when Voujhan uttered, “T-T-Troy let me go.”
Troy was crying too, but wouldn’t let go of Voujhan went he requested it. Then Troy kissed him on the checks. “But Babe, I love you, and I missed you so much.”
“Troy I have to go,” Voujhan tried to hit Troy because he was hurting him not only by the words but his action towards the other guy. “Let me go, Troy.” He forced himself free.
“D-don’t go,” Troy begged while his held onto Voujhan’s hand but slowly losing his grasp of him.
“I’m . . .” Voujhan quivered. “I’m sorry Troy, but I really have to go.” Then he got free from Troy’s embrace. He ran to the awaiting taxi. Troy ran after him but Voujhan got inside, shut the door, and he’d cried as the driver drove off hurriedly.
Troy was left standing by the curbside, watching the taxi drive away. Troy cried as well. There at that very moment, they were both so very much in love but yet they were both completely hurting. Now the distance between them drew further apart then ever. Would there ever be a healing of one’s heart?
“Where to, Sir?” The taxi driver asked. Then Voujhan took out Rhyll’s business card, then gave it to the driver. The card reads: ‘Rhennielle Maxwell’.
COPY RIGHT 2012 @ Avaritico
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VAIN PHRELL // Avaritico