"Brother, I've never seen you drunk before."
"Roy, my head is very throbbing. I need aspirins please?"
"Tin, why are you acting so strangely nowadays? I've never
seen you like this before in the past 2 years."
"Sorry, this will never happen again. Now, aspirins,
"Is it because you felt something? I know you have sixth
sense. Did you sense something different? Like someone is going to come back
or that kind of thing?"
"Roy, I don't have sixth sense. You've been watching too
"Then why are you act so strangely? You are not yourself
anymore. I asked Joe, and he said I don't understand you. But he also said you
were a fool, and that only you would know what is love. I don't understand..."
"Roy, aspirins. I beg of you."
If my headache were not so painful, I might be able to make
out what Roy was really saying. He's trying to tell me something.
"Bro, can you promise me not to hurt yourself anymore?"
"Ok, I promise you. Please, aspirin! Please.."
"And you need to promise me one more thing."
"Try to forget the past."
I didn't answer him. Roy, I know you care about me... Maybe
I should let go of the past. I didn't want anyone worried about me anymore. I
just wanted everyone happy, and I knew that lots of people cared about me. So
maybe..maybe I should say goodbye to my past.
"Ok," I whispered.
"Yeah!" With that, he seemed satisfied and went to get the
aspirins for me. Roy, you tried but you don't really understand me. Sigh...
2001 Fall, Edmonton
All along University Avenue were scattered lots of yellow
leaves. I love this road so I come back here every year. For the past 4 years,
I've been returning here and taking a walk along this road I fell in love
with. Along both sides of the road grew lots of big trees. All the leaves have
turned yellow by now, and were dancing in the wind. It's so beautiful.
My life was back to normal again. I never got myself drunk
again, I tried to control myself. I knew that I'd scared everyone the last
time so I tried to be a good boy.
Joe said that my moods changed like the weather. Maybe
because my name means 'Sky' so my emotions changed like the sky's weather too.
I remembered asking Joe and Amy a silly question. I asked them, "Can the
weather affect people's moods and can people's moods affect the weather?"
Well, Joe's answer was always logical. He'd said that the
weather affected people's feelings and offered to go to the library to find me
books which supported his answer. Amy's response was biased emotionally so she
said people's feeling can somehow affect the weather. I'm not sure if either
At the beginning of September, I'd finally found a job,
working with a local furniture company helping them to do some design work. I
was not the main designer but still had the chance to do something I like, to
show my ability and contribute where I can, and to learn something in the
process. The boss was very nice to me. Everything seemed so normal and soon
life settled down and became boring.
Roy suggested that I find Scott. I wanted to find him too
because I wanted to thank him. Roy suggested that I get his phone number from
Joe and so I did. However, I didn't have courage to call him.
Around the same time, Amy suggested that I buy a pet, so I
ended up with a cat. I named him Bouncer. Roy remarked that I was like an old
spinster: always stayed at home, loved to cook and owned a cat. Gee...
Towards the beginning of October, Amy was very busy
preparing for her wedding. Lots of things needed doing so I'd help her
whenever possible since I worked at home and had time to spare. That day, I
came to her house to help her decide what kind of decoration she wanted.
"Don't you think it's too early to get married?" I asked.
"But you are only 22. Why the hurry? I know, you got
Amy hit the back of my head. I just kept grinning and she
"Amy, can I have a cup of tea?"
As she went to the kitchen, I picked up some papers lying on
the coffee table. It was a list of people invited to the wedding. I saw a name
an the top of the sheet, Andrew Johnson. It also had his address. Whenever I
try to forget you, why did your name crop up again? I sighed and put down the
papers before Amy came back. That night, I was distracted and couldn't
concentrate on the conversation around me. My mind was lost again...
After I got back home, I picked up a paper, intending to
write a letter to Andy. I could still remember the address. I had so many
things to ask him and even more to tell him. But I ended up writing nothing.
The next day, I put the paper inside an envelope and mailed it. Andy, there
were no words in this world which can fully describe my feelings for you. As I
put the letter in the pillar-box, I whispered, "Goodbye." I hope that will
give me the closure to move on.
I decided to seek Joe's advice because I was still kind of
confused. So I went to his company but...
"Hi Scott, how are you?"
"I am good, why you are here?"
"I wanted to find Joe."
"Huh? He'd already left. Said he needed to prepare for his
wedding so he left early today."
"Is it urgent?"
"No, no. Nothing special."
Both of us were standing outside the front entrance and fell
silent after that. Then I said, "Thanks for the last time you drove me home. I
really want to thank you for that."
"Nah, that's ok. Where are you going now?"
"I have no place to go. My brother is bringing a friend home
tonight. So I can only go back after 11."
"Do you drive today?"
"No, my brother dropped me off. It's hard to find a place to
park my car downtown."
"Oh, ok..Hmm...maybe, if you don't mind, we can have dinner
together," Scott suggested.
"Do you know any good place for Chinese food? I love Chinese
"Hmm...I know a good place. Follow me," I said.
When we got in his car, he asked me for directions. My
answer was Superstore.
"Yeah. If you want to eat good Chinese food, you should try
I had a nice time walking with Scott at the grocery store. I
felt something special for this man. He gave me a warm feeling inside. Every
time I was with him, I could sense him radiating a safe, homely aura...so
warm, so comfortable. He was a gentleman and very polite. I was surprised
because I thought Joe was the only gentleman left in this world. I saw Scott
picking up a bag of straws and putting it in the shopping cart.
"Can you teach me how to make those little stars again? I
tried lots of times at home but still couldn't make one."
His eyes were shining, like an ocean of stars. I wanted to
touch them but stopped myself in time. I didn't want to freak him. Every time
I saw those eyes, I forgot my aching heart, all my pain and all the unpleasant
memories. The only things on my mind were those beautiful eyes of his. I felt
so close to him. He popped up just at the right time. When I decided to forget
my past, he appeared. Maybe I should give myself a chance.
Since I wasn't expected back 'til 11, we decided to go to
Scott's. His kitchen was squeaky clean because he rarely used it. When people
lives alone, they are either very messy and dirty or very clean. Scott is the
clean type. His house was simple, with not too much furniture. It wasn't a big
house but it had a small garden at the back. When we walked in the garden, a
big shadow suddenly jumped onto me. My butt hit the ground hard and I had an
armful of a happy bouncy puppy lying on top of me.
"Bad dog! Bad dog!" Scott yelled.
I looked at the puppy and it looked back at me, then used
its tongue to lick me. I hugged it and petted its head and scratched behind
its ears. It's a wolfhound. Although it's a puppy, it's pretty big. It stood
up to my chest level. I tried to stand up and the puppy went over to Scott,
using its nose to touch Scott's leg.
"Sorry to scare you, Tin," Scott apologised.
"That's ok, it's so cute."
"Yeah, his name is Ego. He's only 4 months old. Ego, say
hello to Tin."
The dog barked at me. I'd never seen a cuter puppy than
this. We walked back to the house together and headed for the kitchen, Ego
tagging closely behind. I found out that Ego was only 4 months old. His fur is
totally black, and only the regions near his mouth and legs were light brown.
He seemed to take a shine to me, and followed me everywhere I went.
"I never saw him getting friendly with anyone else except
me," Scott said.
"He's so cute."
"My house got robbed last month so I bought him as a
watchdog, and he hates strangers. But I think he likes you."
I smiled. Then I walked into the kitchen and started to
cook. Scott sat at the dinner table and watched me cook with Ego laying beside
We were eating dinner an hour later. Scott told me more
about himself. He has 3 elder brothers and he's the youngest at 23 years. He
moved out after graduating. His grandfather bequeathed this house to him when
he passed away.
Scott ate a lot that night, he ate everything I cooked. I
was so happy. This is the best way to tell a cook his food is good. I hate
those people who kept saying "Hey, good! Tastes good.." and ended up eating
only a small portion.
After dinner, we sat in the living room talking. The room
was dim, illuminated only by candlelight. Scott told me he had an electric
light but the switch was on the floor and Ego kept playing with it so he took
it down and kept it away. We sat on the sofa chatting with Ego sleeping beside
my foot. I found out that Scott and I both loved reading and taking pictures,
so we had lots of things to share.
Time went very fast and soon it's almost 11:30pm and I
needed to go. When I stood up, Ego just leapt in front of me and I lost
balance. Scott caught me and I was in his embrace.
"Thanks," I said.
But he didn't let go and I could see those beautiful eyes
again. They were shining at me. I used my hand to brush his thick sexy
eyebrows. He stopped me and placed my hand on his face instead, holding
tightly onto my hand.
Everything seemed so right. We moved toward each other and
our lips touched lightly and uncertainly. Then we touched again. This time, we
kissed more passionately. I let him hug me tightly because suddenly I didn't
have the energy to stand. As I burned with passion, my legs grew weak, so I
wrapped my arms around his neck.
Scott's tongue was brushing my lips and I was uncertain.
This was a first for me. Hesitantly I opened my mouth to welcome him in. He
kept using his tongue to attack my mouth and I tried to reciprocate. Time
froze at that moment. I don't know how long we kissed, but finally we
separated. I was breathing quite heavily by then. Scott's face had turned to a
deep red and his eyes were misty.
"I need to go now," I finally said.
He walked me to the door. When he opened it, Ego wrapped his
forelegs around my right leg and made no move to let me go. I decided to let
him hug my leg as Scott and I stood there, both of us not saying anything.
After a while, Scott summoned up his courage and asked me, "Stay here tonight,
Everything was happening so fast. I never expected things to
turn out like this. I was thinking of so many things. My mind was running a
thousand miles a second. Finally, I made up my mind and told him my answer...